FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Loose Morals & respect

Loose Morals & respect

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I am fairly new to all this, but there seems to be a lot of married, attached people on here, who are looking to play away..I know that some people can't always get everything they need from thier relationship, but they still stay with someone for different reasons...but a lot of this really is wrong, and what doe's the future hold for couples if this is the way things are going!

Have we no morals or respect anymore??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am fairly new to all this, but there seems to be a lot of married, attached people on here, who are looking to play away..I know that some people can't always get everything they need from thier relationship, but they still stay with someone for different reasons...but a lot of this really is wrong, and what doe's the future hold for couples if this is the way things are going!

Have we no morals or respect anymore??"

Totally agree! Couples who play together stay together

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Or are you on the wrong site? Are you really suited to this lifestyle?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

There must be a lot of understanding between a couple that can do that!

Which is fine by me, as long as it's safe!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I'm starting to question that!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

But then, I'm just a guy on his own..from what I know Swinging was originally about couple swapping!!

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"There must be a lot of understanding between a couple that can do that!

Which is fine by me, as long as it's safe!!"

This is, primarily, a swinger's site. Therefore, it was set up originally for couples to arrange and engage in group sex.

Just because there are many singles on here does not mean it is a single's site.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/07/14 19:55:23]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If it's done without your partner knowing, then its obviously wrong!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't believe that couples who play together stay together,ive seen many couples with huge issues and who argue constantly about swinging,Ive known many that get together and then split up too

As for married or attached people playing that has never changed in the history of marriage,and will continue to do so,people outside of swinging would have a few words to say about the morals of us all being on a site like this,I try not to make too many judgements about peoples circumstances,they don't affect what I do on here and those that are upfront have at least given people a choice

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have we no morals or respect anymore??"

Some couples are into the "hot wife" scene on here.

If they have rules in place and those boundaries are respected they they don't see it as cheating.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's fine for them but we aren't getting involved! Too messy!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/07/14 19:58:47]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I guess it's good to think that you can detach yourself, and not get jealous, but it can obviously break up a relationship too!

Some of it come's down to fantasy and reality!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have we no morals or respect anymore??"

Just put on your profile that you'll refuse to meet attached couples or women as you believe they have no morals or respect so if you happen to message any they'll know and likewise any who like the look of you won't message you. Problem solved.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hmm..Ok, thanks, I may just do that...the trouble is, part of it excite's me, which is a bit worrying when I analyse it!

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"If it's done without your partner knowing, then its obviously wrong!"

Then don't meet those people. I don't.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP why are you on a swingers site? Surely you knew a bit about swinging before you set up your profile. What did you hope to get from this site?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OP why are you on a swingers site? Surely you knew a bit about swinging before you set up your profile. What did you hope to get from this site?"

He thought it was POF

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/07/14 20:28:00]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im in a relationship and my bf.knows im on here. So I have no morals? My bf works away all week so cause I meet other men ive no morals? We have been together 10 years and he has no qualms about me meeting other men .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OP why are you on a swingers site? Surely you knew a bit about swinging before you set up your profile. What did you hope to get from this site?

He thought it was POF"

That explains it lol. 'Hoping to meet like minded people' on the profile. Good luck with that!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I met someone on a dating site, who told me about this site, so I joined out of curiosity!

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Use this site how YOU want to use it and allow others to use it how they want to.....stop being so judgemental about why people are on here...you don't live with them, you don't put them to bed so you don't know what is happening in peoples lives

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have been speaking to a female on her who has said that many woman on this site that are part of a couple are into the swinging scene because of pressure from their man.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I have been speaking to a female on her who has said that many woman on this site that are part of a couple are into the swinging scene because of pressure from their man."

More fool them then...I'd tell my partner to fuck off if he pressurised me into swinging

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've been married for almost 16 years. Hubby is ok with what I do as long as I tell him what I'm up to. But you're right. I have very loose morals.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I wouldn't say I was being judgemental, just questioning this a little..but at the end of the day, these kind of sites wouldn't exist without demand!

But yes, we all try to get what we want from the site, and its all about using really!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have been speaking to a female on her who has said that many woman on this site that are part of a couple are into the swinging scene because of pressure from their man."
and vice versa

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"I met someone on a dating site, who told me about this site, so I joined out of curiosity!

Curiosity is one thing but standing in judgement is a whole different kettle of fish.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I met someone on a dating site, who told me about this site, so I joined out of curiosity!

and obviously to sit in judgement. FFS dont go to a club. Your head would explode and you may have to breath the same air as people with loose morals.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Were we really designed to just be with one person? Physically I mean!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I met someone on a dating site, who told me about this site, so I joined out of curiosity!

Says it all.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Or are you on the wrong site? Are you really suited to this lifestyle?"

No he's on the right site. It's the cheats who are in the wrong site. Just put a link to the Wikipedia page on swinging on my profile to try and inform those who seem to think this is an infidelity site.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Were we really designed to just be with one person? Physically I mean!!"

Some are, some are not it's called human nature and life...we are all different

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks..Swinger Girl

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Just because someone is on fab does not mean they have loose morals or no self respect....we are not all slags who sleep around and says yes to every bloke that sends fancy a fuck message

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"Were we really designed to just be with one person? Physically I mean!!"

Physically? That makes no sense. When we have sex with one person it doesn't make us physically incapable of having sex with another.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I met someone on a dating site, who told me about this site, so I joined out of curiosity!

Says it all.....

"
Think most of the single men on here find it through that avenue but are simply not suited to the lifestyle.

hypothetically though imagine as a single woman on here you meet a married guy and then either receive a distraught womans phone call whos life you have both ruined,or another scenario where the said woman stalks you and rams a glass into your neck scarring you for life,A lot who wont meet married cheating men would have little sympathy

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Definitely human nature, sex was obviously intended by nature to be for procreation, it's peoples nature that has turned it into what is over generations, through lust and desire of different body shapes, fantasies etc.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As my bf knows I meet other men just for sex WE DONT CLASS THAT AS CHEATING. Ppl who judge other ppl what they do should look at their lives first NO ONE IS PERFECT !!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Were we really designed to just be with one person? Physically I mean!!

Physically? That makes no sense. When we have sex with one person it doesn't make us physically incapable of having sex with another. "

Careful he's not a swinger! Start mentioning dp and dvp and he may have a heart attack

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I do find it quite amusing that people on this site are moralising. You make your choice, others make theirs, their choice may be wrong for you but not for them. Everyone has the opportunity to choose whether or not to become involved with people who do not fit into their own niche ideals but telling other people it is wrong just because you think so is self righteous nonsense.

Live and let live, if you don't like it, don't do it.

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"Definitely human nature, sex was obviously intended by nature to be for procreation, it's peoples nature that has turned it into what is over generations, through lust and desire of different body shapes, fantasies etc."

Are you religious?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Are you religious? "

I'm not really, no..just interested in how peoples views on what is right and wrong are changing!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I do find it quite amusing that people on this site are moralising. You make your choice, others make theirs, their choice may be wrong for you but not for them. Everyone has the opportunity to choose whether or not to become involved with people who do not fit into their own niche ideals but telling other people it is wrong just because you think so is self righteous nonsense.

Live and let live, if you don't like it, don't do it.

What about the deceived partners whose lives are destroyed by those decisions? Do they feel it's right for them? Do they have a choice?

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By *extoysareusCouple over a year ago

kinky heaven

Have we no morals or respect anymore??"

U maybe don't but we do

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Maybe I should have kept this to myself!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just because someone is on fab does not mean they have loose morals or no self respect....we are not all slags who sleep around and says yes to every bloke that sends fancy a fuck message "

Oh..,damn

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Live and let live, if you don't like it, don't do it.

Plus since when did honesty become a 'niche idea'??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Maybe I should have kept this to myself!!"

I think you will find that this site is made up of people with all different moral standards. Thats their choice. You may have been better taking your social experiment and stuffing ......I mean debating it with your mates down the pub.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its easier finding sex on pof and other similar sites for men as the women are often desperate and in the last chance saloon...the women on here are not like that,then again weve came across a few looking for love on here which is well strange!

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Maybe I should have kept this to myself!!"

It comes up from time to time on this forum. There's nothing wrong, per se, with posting but once it's out there then people will comment when it's an emotive and subjective thread.

Why is the morality any different between consenting couples on here and singles on here?

My morals haven't been called into question for being on here (as far as I know) but whether I have self-respect has been.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have we no morals or respect anymore??

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Its easier finding sex on pof and other similar sites for men as the women are often desperate and in the last chance saloon...the women on here are not like that,then again weve came across a few looking for love on here which is well strange!"

The women on POF are in last chance saloon? Wow!

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

The women on POF are in last chance saloon? Wow!

Lickety I must fall into the last chance salon and the well strange category lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just because someone is on fab does not mean they have loose morals or no self respect....we are not all slags who sleep around and says yes to every bloke that sends fancy a fuck message "

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

The women on POF are in last chance saloon? Wow!

Lickety I must fall into the last chance salon and the well strange

category lol

To be fair...

I had a stint on there too so your post should be "Lickety and I must fall into the last chance saloon and the well strange category" I think.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I met my last LTR on there and certainly didn't consider myself desperate!! Far from it. Cuts the crap and makes it easier to find exactly what you're looking for (in my case a very tall man!)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why is it strange to look for love on here? People won't find a swinging partner on Match....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I met my last LTR on there and certainly didn't consider myself desperate!! Far from it. Cuts the crap and makes it easier to find exactly what you're looking for (in my case a very tall man!)"
I used those sites 12 yr ago as a bloke out of an 18 yr marriage and couldnt believe how simple it was to get laid,often a few messages led to a few drinks and sex that night but the vast majority of women did seem pretty desperate...Idid grow out of it though.

him

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why is it strange to look for love on here? People won't find a swinging partner on Match.... "
You would look for love on a site that promotes nsa

thats canny strange

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why is it strange to look for love on here? People won't find a swinging partner on Match.... You would look for love on a site that promotes nsa

thats canny strange"

Fab is a swinging site.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why is it strange to look for love on here? People won't find a swinging partner on Match.... You would look for love on a site that promotes nsa

thats canny strange

Fab is a swinging site. "
Oh and looking for love on the swinging scene is the done thing then? I know you like to be objective but please make a little sense as i cant understand your reasoning

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

No, I think this is the place to do it!!

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Are you religious?

I'm not really, no..just interested in how peoples views on what is right and wrong are changing!"

I wasn't being facetious by any means. But you came across a little 'catholic' on that post. You seem to be more judgmental than curious.

Perhaps, if you were genuinely curious then the issue of morality would be moot. Either be on here for fun or not. But using terms like 'loose morals' is judgmental no matter which way you slice it.

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

I started meeting on POF and I can assure you I was far from desperate! Nor was it my 'last chance'.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Are you religious?

I'm not really, no..just interested in how peoples views on what is right and wrong are changing!

I wasn't being facetious by any means. But you came across a little 'catholic' on that post. You seem to be more judgmental than curious.

Perhaps, if you were genuinely curious then the issue of morality would be moot. Either be on here for fun or not. But using terms like 'loose morals' is judgmental no matter which way you slice it."

No worrie's...I'm possibly a bit of both, it's just that moral's seem to be a lot looser these days, than say 10 years ago! and it's a only going to go in one direction as far as I can see!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Some women are desperate on POF, but then so are a lot of men!

But dating sites are a kind of last resort for most!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why is it strange to look for love on here? People won't find a swinging partner on Match.... You would look for love on a site that promotes nsa

thats canny strange

Fab is a swinging site. Oh and looking for love on the swinging scene is the done thing then? I know you like to be objective but please make a little sense as i cant understand your reasoning"

So where would you look for a partner who is as committed to swinging as you are? Online I mean?

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Some women are desperate on POF, but then so are a lot of men!

But dating sites are a kind of last resort for most!"

There is an interesting twist with dating sites these days - they are holding socials.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Sounds like a good idea!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Damn. I missed all the fun

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some women are desperate on POF, but then so are a lot of men!

But dating sites are a kind of last resort for most!"

LOL last resort? Utter nonsense. It's where you go to meet people if you have a busy lifestyle and I'd say is the norm these days. I had two LTRs from Pof, both met all my expectations in terms of intelligence, career and attraction.

Infinitely preferable to meeting some reprobate in a bar or risking your job at work!

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By *ing and RideCouple over a year ago

stockport

If either partner is going to cheat they will do it...either on here or elsewhere. It matters not. Loads of web sites for illicit sex. Sad but true. This is no different whatsoever.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some women are desperate on POF, but then so are a lot of men!

But dating sites are a kind of last resort for most!"

The Internet provides a very convenient way of meeting people you wouldn't have met otherwise. Our lives are so busy these days that the internet is a very effective filtering method when used well. I have a number of friends who would argue that internet dating was not a last resort and they have met the love of their life through it.

Careful with your broom as you sweep away your chances with your statements

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Or are you on the wrong site? Are you really suited to this lifestyle?"

FFS i thought id accidentally logged onto match.com. Its a swinging site. We're all here for SEX. Not companionship or a life partner

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Some women are desperate on POF, but then so are a lot of men!

But dating sites are a kind of last resort for most!"

Goodness! What interesting views you have.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I thought that might ruffle some feathers!

Yes, we all supposedly have such busy lives, that we now use the internet to meet people, but so far I have only had nothing but trouble from it!

But that dosen't mean to say its all bad!

A lot of life is about luck of course!!

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By *extoysareusCouple over a year ago

kinky heaven

"Or are you on the wrong site? Are you really suited to this lifestyle?

FFS i thought id accidentally logged onto match.com. Its a swinging site. We're all here for SEX. Not companionship or a life partner

I thought it was Sunday school

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some women are desperate on POF, but then so are a lot of men!

But dating sites are a kind of last resort for most!

Careful with your broom as you sweep away your chances with your statements

"
Its the forum....I seriously doubt we will ever meet any of the 1 percent from fab that use this facility

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If we are all here just for sex, then why are there forums etc.??

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By *extoysareusCouple over a year ago

kinky heaven

"If we are all here just for sex, then why are there forums etc.??"

Most are for the guys that complain they don't get it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If we are all here just for sex, then why are there forums etc.??"
Why is there a burger van at a football match

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By *habsMan over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Have we no morals or respect anymore??"

Dear OP, so if a lady, married or otherwise, couple or single, emailed you asking to meet,.. would you say "No thanks, I have morals"?

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Are you religious?

I'm not really, no..just interested in how peoples views on what is right and wrong are changing!

I wasn't being facetious by any means. But you came across a little 'catholic' on that post. You seem to be more judgmental than curious.

Perhaps, if you were genuinely curious then the issue of morality would be moot. Either be on here for fun or not. But using terms like 'loose morals' is judgmental no matter which way you slice it.

No worrie's...I'm possibly a bit of both, it's just that moral's seem to be a lot looser these days, than say 10 years ago! and it's a only going to go in one direction as far as I can see!!"

No no no. You are still saying 'looser'. You should say 'different'. This idea of one man for one woman is merely a religious construct. And even if nature intended sex to be for reproduction it doesn't follow that it has to be in a monogamous attachment.

We are simply a species of primates. Look at other primate species. They are not monogamous. In fact, bonobos are well known for having recreational sex.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If we are all here just for sex, then why are there forums etc.??

Most are for the guys that complain they don't get it"

OR for people to get arsy and judgemental abput other peoples' choices.. :-/ but hey ho..each to their own. As for why are there forae, for the dissemination of information, for getting to know potential meets better ..

i know i know.. that kinda contradicts my original statement but sex is better with a little "background"

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Have we no morals or respect anymore??

Dear OP, so if a lady, married or otherwise, couple or single, emailed you asking to meet,.. would you say "No thanks, I have morals"?"

Yes, I probably would..I'm on here because I like sex. and I'm questioning my own morals, as well as others!

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By *hatsthisMan over a year ago

Newcastle

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"I thought that might ruffle some feathers!

Yes, we all supposedly have such busy lives, that we now use the internet to meet people, but so far I have only had nothing but trouble from it!

But that dosen't mean to say its all bad!

A lot of life is about luck of course!!"

YOU have had bad experiences. You cannot extrapolate from that that hooking up online is wrong in some way. That's simply a twisted syllogism.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I must be a washed up hag because I use dating sites and shock horror I use fab too....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I thought that might ruffle some feathers!

Yes, we all supposedly have such busy lives, that we now use the internet to meet people, but so far I have only had nothing but trouble from it!

But that dosen't mean to say its all bad!

A lot of life is about luck of course!!

YOU have had bad experiences. You cannot extrapolate from that that hooking up online is wrong in some way. That's simply a twisted syllogism. "

Some of us have to find something works for ourselves, before we truly believe that it can.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I must be a washed up hag because I use dating sites and shock horror I use fab too....

No, that's a bit extreme!

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By *habsMan over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Have we no morals or respect anymore??

Dear OP, so if a lady, married or otherwise, couple or single, emailed you asking to meet,.. would you say "No thanks, I have morals"?

Yes, I probably would..I'm on here because I like sex. and I'm questioning my own morals, as well as others!"

So, while you question other people's morals.. be prepared to kiss your sex life good bye

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"I thought that might ruffle some feathers!

Yes, we all supposedly have such busy lives, that we now use the internet to meet people, but so far I have only had nothing but trouble from it!

But that dosen't mean to say its all bad!

A lot of life is about luck of course!!

YOU have had bad experiences. You cannot extrapolate from that that hooking up online is wrong in some way. That's simply a twisted syllogism.

Some of us have to find something works for ourselves, before we truly believe that it can."

That's far too obtuse for anyone to understand. Vague epithets mean nothing. What's your point?

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

[Removed by poster at 31/07/14 23:06:22]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No we don't. I like a married woman, even better as the hubby is working or down the pub on a Saturday watching the fotbal I would fuck her in their marital bed and cream her pussey, my ultimate fantasy lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Have we no morals or respect anymore??

Dear OP, so if a lady, married or otherwise, couple or single, emailed you asking to meet,.. would you say "No thanks, I have morals"?

Yes, I probably would..I'm on here because I like sex. and I'm questioning my own morals, as well as others!

So, while you question other people's morals.. be prepared to kiss your sex life good bye

A sex life, is part of a relationship!

This isn't that, this is encounters

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I must be a washed up hag because I use dating sites and shock horror I use fab too....

No, that's a bit extreme!"

Really?? Well going on comments on here it ain't far from the truth lol

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Have we no morals or respect anymore??

Dear OP, so if a lady, married or otherwise, couple or single, emailed you asking to meet,.. would you say "No thanks, I have morals"?

Yes, I probably would..I'm on here because I like sex. and I'm questioning my own morals, as well as others!

So, while you question other people's morals.. be prepared to kiss your sex life good bye

A sex life, is part of a relationship!

This isn't that, this is encounters

I have a sex life on fab it's called repeat meets....try it

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By *habsMan over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Have we no morals or respect anymore??

Dear OP, so if a lady, married or otherwise, couple or single, emailed you asking to meet,.. would you say "No thanks, I have morals"?

Yes, I probably would..I'm on here because I like sex. and I'm questioning my own morals, as well as others!

So, while you question other people's morals.. be prepared to kiss your sex life good bye

A sex life, is part of a relationship!

This isn't that, this is encounters

And what do you think happens during these encounters? Knitting or Book club?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

People who cheat will use whichever method they can find that works. Its not about swinging, just that some find fab and swinging a means to that end. We dont know their relationships, so dont know what has been discussed or agreed, nor how much respect there is between them. I certainly dont and cant comment, but hope there is sufficient to protect partners.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have we no morals or respect anymore??

Dear OP, so if a lady, married or otherwise, couple or single, emailed you asking to meet,.. would you say "No thanks, I have morals"?

Yes, I probably would..I'm on here because I like sex. and I'm questioning my own morals, as well as others!

So, while you question other people's morals.. be prepared to kiss your sex life good bye

A sex life, is part of a relationship!

This isn't that, this is encounters

and an encounter is??

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I thought that might ruffle some feathers!

Yes, we all supposedly have such busy lives, that we now use the internet to meet people, but so far I have only had nothing but trouble from it!

But that dosen't mean to say its all bad!

A lot of life is about luck of course!!

YOU have had bad experiences. You cannot extrapolate from that that hooking up online is wrong in some way. That's simply a twisted syllogism.

Some of us have to find something works for ourselves, before we truly believe that it can.

That's far too obtuse for anyone to understand. Vague epithets mean nothing. What's your point? "

It means, that I have to see it for myself!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Have we no morals or respect anymore??

Dear OP, so if a lady, married or otherwise, couple or single, emailed you asking to meet,.. would you say "No thanks, I have morals"?

Yes, I probably would..I'm on here because I like sex. and I'm questioning my own morals, as well as others!

So, while you question other people's morals.. be prepared to kiss your sex life good bye

A sex life, is part of a relationship!

This isn't that, this is encounters

I have a sex life on fab it's called repeat meets....try it

I possibly will one day!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why is it strange to look for love on here? People won't find a swinging partner on Match.... You would look for love on a site that promotes nsa

thats canny strange

Fab is a swinging site. Oh and looking for love on the swinging scene is the done thing then? I know you like to be objective but please make a little sense as i cant understand your reasoning"

What is it that you don't understand? If a swinger wants to meet another swinger for a relationship... surely they would be better off looking on a swinging site than a dating site? How would you suggest they might meet?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

morals? Really? People have their own reasons for what they choose to do. If you are not comfortable with that maybe you should not be here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Have we no morals or respect anymore??

Dear OP, so if a lady, married or otherwise, couple or single, emailed you asking to meet,.. would you say "No thanks, I have morals"?

Yes, I probably would..I'm on here because I like sex. and I'm questioning my own morals, as well as others!

So, while you question other people's morals.. be prepared to kiss your sex life good bye

A sex life, is part of a relationship!

This isn't that, this is encounters

and an encounter is??"

Maybe encounter isn't the right word, as these things are normally planned, so probably experience is a better word!

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By *cottishsexgoddessWoman over a year ago

Glenrothes

"Use this site how YOU want to use it and allow others to use it how they want to.....stop being so judgemental about why people are on here...you don't live with them, you don't put them to bed so you don't know what is happening in peoples lives

Well said

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have we no morals or respect anymore??

Dear OP, so if a lady, married or otherwise, couple or single, emailed you asking to meet,.. would you say "No thanks, I have morals"?

Yes, I probably would..I'm on here because I like sex. and I'm questioning my own morals, as well as others!"

You have no right to question the morals of others

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reading the Ethical Slut at the moment and it had a great quote from a flower child back in 1967...

"We believe it's okay to have sex with anybody you love, and we believe in loving everybody."

That one made us chuckle lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Have we no morals or respect anymore??

Dear OP, so if a lady, married or otherwise, couple or single, emailed you asking to meet,.. would you say "No thanks, I have morals"?

Yes, I probably would..I'm on here because I like sex. and I'm questioning my own morals, as well as others!

You have no right to question the morals of others

Really!! I think it's a human right to question things, do you not??

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By *habsMan over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Have we no morals or respect anymore??

Dear OP, so if a lady, married or otherwise, couple or single, emailed you asking to meet,.. would you say "No thanks, I have morals"?

Yes, I probably would..I'm on here because I like sex. and I'm questioning my own morals, as well as others!

You have no right to question the morals of others

To the OP, lets say you're in a space for smokers and it has loads of smokers, all smoking. And you, not being a smoking type, aren't sure if you should take up smoking or not. You start to get uncomfortable because of all the smoking. What's easier: trying to convince all the smokers in the smoking area they are wrong (so you can be comfortable),.. or simply finding a non-smoking room?

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Have we no morals or respect anymore??

Dear OP, so if a lady, married or otherwise, couple or single, emailed you asking to meet,.. would you say "No thanks, I have morals"?

Yes, I probably would..I'm on here because I like sex. and I'm questioning my own morals, as well as others!

So, while you question other people's morals.. be prepared to kiss your sex life good bye

A sex life, is part of a relationship!

This isn't that, this is encounters

and an encounter is??

Maybe encounter isn't the right word, as these things are normally planned, so probably experience is a better word!"

It's sex for God's sake! Call a bloody spade a spade. Sheesh. What's wrong with consensual sex between adults even if it is simply for one night? Get off that moralising soapbox and take a good look at yourself.

Who are you to make such judgments? And, before you deny that, your own posts are laden with judgmental language.

I think if this site is causing you such a crisis of your own chosen moral values perhaps it is not the place for you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have we no morals or respect anymore??

Dear OP, so if a lady, married or otherwise, couple or single, emailed you asking to meet,.. would you say "No thanks, I have morals"?

Yes, I probably would..I'm on here because I like sex. and I'm questioning my own morals, as well as others!

You have no right to question the morals of others

Really!! I think it's a human right to question things, do you not??"

Another bland answer, it is not your right to question the actions of others, if you don't like it don't look

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

It's not loose morals I'm concerned about its loose cannons....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Have we no morals or respect anymore??

Dear OP, so if a lady, married or otherwise, couple or single, emailed you asking to meet,.. would you say "No thanks, I have morals"?

Yes, I probably would..I'm on here because I like sex. and I'm questioning my own morals, as well as others!

You have no right to question the morals of others

Lets just say that I know I hate smoking, so I wouldn't put myself in a smoking space, in the first place!

I'm here by choice.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

A sex life, is part of a relationship!

This isn't that, this is encounters

That's just semantics, and there are all kind of relationships being played out on this site, albeit most of them casual - but that is no different from the dating sites.

As soon as someone gets behind a keyboard instead of meeting within a 'society' of some kind, peer pressure is removed, and morality changes.

Character is doing the right thing when no-one is looking. Funnily enough the forums start to create a little bit of society.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Reading the Ethical Slut at the moment and it had a great quote from a flower child back in 1967...

"We believe it's okay to have sex with anybody you love, and we believe in loving everybody."

That one made us chuckle lol

Classic!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It's not loose morals I'm concerned about its loose cannons...."

Oh, yes...you have to watch out for those!!

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By *extoysareusCouple over a year ago

kinky heaven

[Removed by poster at 31/07/14 23:29:12]

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By *habsMan over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"To the OP, lets say you're in a space for smokers and it has loads of smokers, all smoking. And you, not being a smoking type, aren't sure if you should take up smoking or not. You start to get uncomfortable because of all the smoking. What's easier: trying to convince all the smokers in the smoking area they are wrong (so you can be comfortable),.. or simply finding a non-smoking room?

Lets just say that I know I hate smoking, so I wouldn't put myself in a smoking space, in the first place!

I'm here by choice."

You do realise there is a massive, yet contradiction there don't you? So, about your "choice" to be here:

You mentioned you were on another site.

You mentioned someone told you about this site

You said so you decided to have a look.

What you did not say was what exactly you were told that made you think "I will definitely choose to have a look".

did you get told its a swingers site?

Were you told "you can get NSA sex"?

Did the person perchance say "the women there are gagging for it mate - fill yer boots?"

Or randomly (and incorrectly) say "forget POF, you can meet your life partner there, way better!"

So, what was it that made you "choose".

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

A sex life, is part of a relationship!

This isn't that, this is encounters

That's just semantics, and there are all kind of relationships being played out on this site, albeit most of them casual - but that is no different from the dating sites.

As soon as someone gets behind a keyboard instead of meeting within a 'society' of some kind, peer pressure is removed, and morality changes.

Character is doing the right thing when no-one is looking. Funnily enough the forums start to create a little bit of society."

Well said, but I wouldn't say that this is anything similar to a dating site!

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By *ing and RideCouple over a year ago

stockport

I have a friend on here who plays with her long term partner....but i know and it doesnt matter how i know that he plays as a single guy on another swinging site. Not sure what to do but what i dont understand is why. Maybe the males on here can explain. but if you have a partner who is into swinging and so up for it why go it alone. And they say women are complicated.

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"It's not loose morals I'm concerned about its loose cannons...."

I worry about loose bowels.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I see the mob are out hahaha all the bloke was saying is alot of people use this site to CHEAT on their partners WITHOUT their knowledge and consent and do these people not have morals.... I agree with him but soooo many idiots on these threads jump on anyone new and take their posts as personal insults when infact the situations he is outlining doesnt even apply to you!! Married or in a relationship and playing on here is fine with your other half being ok with it but when they dont know? Then yeah i think they are creeps. Think some people need to read the original post before jumping in with both feet!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have a friend on here who plays with her long term partner....but i know and it doesnt matter how i know that he plays as a single guy on another swinging site. Not sure what to do but what i dont understand is why. Maybe the males on here can explain. but if you have a partner who is into swinging and so up for it why go it alone. And they say women are complicated."

How do you know this?

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Some people like having an illicit secret all for themselves. Are you sure your friend doesn't know about the single profile? Is it really any of your business?

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Well said, but I wouldn't say that this is anything similar to a dating site!"

Why not? A lot of the same people are here, doing the same things, just doing it more openly mostly. POF may have removed their 'Intimate Encounter' tick box because that's what all the men ticked, but it didn't change their intent. Most are there looking for casual sex. Most men on the entire system are looking for casual sex.

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"I see the mob are out hahaha all the bloke was saying is alot of people use this site to CHEAT on their partners WITHOUT their knowledge and consent and do these people not have morals.... I agree with him but soooo many idiots on these threads jump on anyone new and take their posts as personal insults when infact the situations he is outlining doesnt even apply to you!! Married or in a relationship and playing on here is fine with your other half being ok with it but when they dont know? Then yeah i think they are creeps. Think some people need to read the original post before jumping in with both feet!"

A lot of people are responding to his further judgmental posts.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why are we always questioning? There's a question in itself. Can we not just have sex with the people we're attracted to and skip on past the ones we aren't without feeling the need to dissect our reasons? Is there anything we don't question in life?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks..even I had begun to lose track of what I had originally said!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

A lot of people are responding to his further judgmental posts."

Apologie's for anything that has come across as judgemental, I guess I'm just trying to find different views, we are all adults, and we know why we are here!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thanks..even I had begun to lose track of what I had originally said!

It's fine by you if it's done with consent? It's fine by others if not. Is it morally ok? To some no,to some yes

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Thanks..even I had begun to lose track of what I had originally said!

But the title still says 'Loose Morals & Respect'. So its original premise was judgemental from the start.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Well said, but I wouldn't say that this is anything similar to a dating site!

Ok, but how do you know most men are looking for that?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This!

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By *habsMan over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Well said, but I wouldn't say that this is anything similar to a dating site!

Ok, but how do you know most men are looking for that?"

She asked them, obviously.. duh!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Well said, but I wouldn't say that this is anything similar to a dating site!

Ok, but how do you know most men are looking for that?

She asked them, obviously.. duh!

She asked most men!

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By *ing and RideCouple over a year ago

stockport

because its a small world very small. when you swing in your area give 20 miles or so....at some point they will meet. believe me. people on here are prob on swinging heaven, local swingers (good site actually) so very very small world. believe me. swinging is not exclusive believe me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It seems to me that not a lot of marriages work any more. How sad

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks..even I had begun to lose track of what I had originally said!

But the title still says 'Loose Morals & Respect'. So its original premise was judgemental from the start. "

Fair enough, it may come across that way..but Judgemental is a very strong word to use, when it's really about questioning!

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Ok, but how do you know most men are looking for that?"

3 years on dating sites!! You get a lot of approaches in that time - POF became a casual sex site, that's why they changed everything to try and reverse the trend.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well said, but I wouldn't say that this is anything similar to a dating site!

And yet ironically most of them can't cope with non-monogamy. Their partner's non-monogamy anyway.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Thanks..even I had begun to lose track of what I had originally said!

But the title still says 'Loose Morals & Respect'. So its original premise was judgemental from the start.

Fair enough, it may come across that way..but Judgemental is a very strong word to use, when it's really about questioning!"

A question mark in the title would have helped, no?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"because its a small world very small. when you swing in your area give 20 miles or so....at some point they will meet. believe me. people on here are prob on swinging heaven, local swingers (good site actually) so very very small world. believe me. swinging is not exclusive believe me."

Ok, thats fair enough! it dosen't make sense though, from what you said before!

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Well said, but I wouldn't say that this is anything similar to a dating site!

And yet ironically most of them can't cope with non-monogamy. Their partner's non-monogamy anyway."

Good girl, bad girl.

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By *habsMan over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Ok, but how do you know most men are looking for that?

3 years on dating sites!! You get a lot of approaches in that time - POF became a casual sex site, that's why they changed everything to try and reverse the trend."

Fuck! Is that why I got kicked off??

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks..even I had begun to lose track of what I had originally said!

But the title still says 'Loose Morals & Respect'. So its original premise was judgemental from the start.

Fair enough, it may come across that way..but Judgemental is a very strong word to use, when it's really about questioning!

A question mark in the title would have helped, no?"

Possibly!!

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Ok, but how do you know most men are looking for that?

3 years on dating sites!! You get a lot of approaches in that time - POF became a casual sex site, that's why they changed everything to try and reverse the trend.

Fuck! Is that why I got kicked off??

Haha, if you used the word fuck or sex undoubtedly!! A friend of mine got banned about 20 times!

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By *oodmessMan over a year ago

yumsville

A lot of people are responding to his further judgmental posts.

Apologie's for anything that has come across as judgemental, I guess I'm just trying to find different views, we are all adults, and we know why we are here! "

seems we are here for reasons that you are not, seen as you dont want to join 'the dark side', How have you gone from them with loose morals to now become "we" when you dont like what 'they/we' do?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

After hanging out on the Fab forums for a while, it seems there are several forms of consenting and non-consenting play.

1) Both partners consent to whatever particular scenario is occurring or about to occur and both partners stay informed and communicative about it, either before, during and after...or just before and after. This describes classic swinging.

2) Both partners consent to one or other of them having sex with people outside of their relationship. But they don't wish to know the ins and outs of it all. There is therefore no communication and updates about what is happening, but a general agreement which covers all eventualities.

3) Neither partner has consented for the other to have sex outside of their relationship. However both might be, either as initial instigator or in response to discovering that the other one is cheating.

It is difficult to talk about morals in any of these cases as each may be totally reasonable. A person seeking to have their own fun in response to discovering they've been cheated on is, imo, acting in a moral manner... even if it's not the highest of moral paths.

The main problem with options 2 and 3 is that it's impossible to discern whether you're gonna end up having an angry partner smash your door down at 4 in the morning and looking to punch you unconscious. So that's why most people, including us, tend to stick to option 1

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ok, but how do you know most men are looking for that?

3 years on dating sites!! You get a lot of approaches in that time - POF became a casual sex site, that's why they changed everything to try and reverse the trend.

Fuck! Is that why I got kicked off??

Life time ban for me off pof for calling a married man a prick for wanting sex with me behind his wifes back. And for all those asking who has the right to say if sleeping with others, dishonestly while in a relationship.... Ask their poor spouse or partner if its ok. I for one will not play with married men or cheating men who are sneaking about as i will never contribute to the hurt the woman will feel if she ever finds out. Im here for nsa and fun and thats not fun to me.

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By *ing and RideCouple over a year ago

stockport

"It seems to me that not a lot of marriages work any more. How sad "

I so so agree with you. It's sad

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By *habsMan over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Ok, but how do you know most men are looking for that?

3 years on dating sites!! You get a lot of approaches in that time - POF became a casual sex site, that's why they changed everything to try and reverse the trend.

Fuck! Is that why I got kicked off??

I had a profile on there (just to see if the rumours were true) and basically had "Not here for a relationship, not leading anyone on, am being honest - am here for fun and intimate encounters. If that's for you, drop me a line". Next time I went to the site my username/login details were "unknown". Lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Morals aren't looser than 10yrs ago. It's probably all more visible and accessible nowadays.

And you're playing with the grown ups now. Never judge others. Just live and let live - you'll have a whole lot more fun.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just out of interest, OP, where did you get the idea that sex was anything to do with loose morals or respect? Was it something you were told as a child and have grown up believing? Do you believe sex between people who aren't married is some sort of biblical sin? I love playing pinball and I love sex. Apart from the levels of pleasure, and the levels of nudity, I see very little difference between either fun pursuit. You only get one life, don't let historical hang-ups dictate how you enjoy yours.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have been speaking to a female on her who has said that many woman on this site that are part of a couple are into the swinging scene because of pressure from their man."
Really????

Her

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have been speaking to a female on her who has said that many woman on this site that are part of a couple are into the swinging scene because of pressure from their man."
Really????

Her

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

His subsequent posts question whether swingers have morals and whether we should be having sex with more than one partner. This is a swingers site for swingers ffs. Not a dating site for virgins to pass judgement on something they frankly will never get.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have we no morals or respect anymore??"

I agree with you there are a lot of married people on sites like these and it is wrong, they are just being selfish, they make excuses and tell themselves that its ok and they do respect their partners. its never been any different except it happens more now because of the internet.

they shoulnt of got married in the first place really but they stay married because they want to have their cake and eat it too.

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By *LCoupleCouple over a year ago

Norfolk

Have we no morals or respect anymore??

Dear OP, so if a lady, married or otherwise, couple or single, emailed you asking to meet,.. would you say "No thanks, I have morals"?

Yes, I probably would..I'm on here because I like sex. and I'm questioning my own morals, as well as others!

You have no right to question the morals of others

Ooh nice analogy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Heck - Why we debating morals on a swinging site?

Isnt any type of sexual activity with someone who is not you spouse classed as adultery anyhow?

To be honest, i dont give a dam if the person i am seeing for sexual fun is married / attached / single. Thats their problem/issue to deal with.

Do I think its wrong? Yes, but I dont dwell on the matter for more than a few seconds!.

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan over a year ago

London

Weirdly for this type of thing there is quite a balanced view.

People are usually self righteous and very often believe that there morals and way of life is correct.

Rarely does anyone consider circumstances.

As time passes and we become more open, shake off religious chains this will probably change.

But in my experience I find that most of the things people say and moralise about, are driven by their own fears.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Self appointed morality police can kiss my ample ass.

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan over a year ago

London

This is bang on the money for me...

When otheres start to try and assert there morals over others, it amounts to no more than control.

I love the unconventional and non-conformist, so I applaud those that shake up life, make it dangerous, are hard to work out...

The other route is simply boredom!

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan over a year ago

London

This too!!!

Fight the power!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

lol,,many couples have an open relationship, get over it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh... and insufferable know it alls too... you think you know why people stay married and cheat. You think you understand every married situation and you know perfectly well what motivates every married person on a sight like this. Are you omnipotent? Seriously.... mind your own fucking business. .. rant over. ~Sea

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This is bang on the money for me...

When otheres start to try and assert there morals over others, it amounts to no more than control.

I love the unconventional and non-conformist, so I applaud those that shake up life, make it dangerous, are hard to work out...

The other route is simply boredom!"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Self appointed morality police can kiss my ample ass."

And my peachy lil one.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The end really has come for morals and respect

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law"

ah aleister Crowley

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oh... and insufferable know it alls too... you think you know why people stay married and cheat. You think you understand every married situation and you know perfectly well what motivates every married person on a sight like this. Are you omnipotent? Seriously.... mind your own fucking business. .. rant over. ~Sea "

No I don't understand every married situation or why married people cheat and stay together but Iv been around long enough and know people to have a pretty good idea and am entitled to my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not omnipotent but seeing the fall out and misery caused by cheating on a regular basis at work. People who've been on their own for 30 years or become alcoholic because they trusted their partner so implicitly and they can't cope with the betrayal. I've even had to deal with bodies of those who've committed suicide because they found out their partner had been cheating.

No you are absolutely right, I don't understand what motivates people to inflict such harm. But I feel I have more than enough right to pass comment on this issue. If you aren't happy, leave, simple.

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