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My heart is breaking :(

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

My children are with their dad this week .

He didn't turn up for them yesterday to get at me . My friend dropped them off with him .

They just called me as my little one has been naughty and drawn on the wall

Not surprised as they told me they not even been outside all day

I want to go get my babies I am in bits

I am trying so hard for them to spend time with him and I get abuse or he just does nothing with them

Sob sob sob sob sob sorry not the place for this I know

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Big hug xxxx

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By *aul.J.JMan  over a year ago

Sedgley

It's a shame. I am a dad who loves seeing my son I don't see him much as I want as he lives with his mum my ex far away but I love every single moment with him.

I hope they do end up having a great time x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Keep records.

Have you approached mediation or courts?

It's always a tough thing but kids are very resilient

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By *itten-xxxWoman  over a year ago

North West

Big hugs Angel I feel for you xxx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

((Hug)) definitely keep records

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Keep records.

Have you approached mediation or courts?

It's always a tough thing but kids are very resilient "

Yes tried mediation he didn't turn up

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Awww hun I really really feel for you, it's so hard to do what you are doing, knowing what happens when you let them go.

Don't be on your own hun see if you can have friends with you who understand what you are going through and can support you.

Make sure you keep in touch with them and try to stay upbeat when you talk to them or they will pick up your worry and react negatively xx

Good luck xxx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Angel, if you can't offload from time to time, then when would you do it?

I find stories like this a little upsetting where ex-partners almost use kids in a game of chess....

Big hugs for you at this time ((((( )))))

Keep notes, seek advice, stay strong and I bet a lot of people are with you xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Thanks guys will keep records . My poor babies

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Massive hugs. I think if he didn't collect as arranged I wouldn't have dropped them off he doesn't deserve them. It's about the children not getting at you. Hope they do have a good time though x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Keep records.

Have you approached mediation or courts?

It's always a tough thing but kids are very resilient

Yes tried mediation he didn't turn up "

If he didn't attend mediation they will give you a letter stating that. Then you're within your rights to stop him seeing them and force him through the courts where a proper structure and conditions of contact will be set in place. Seems harsh but, if you have legitimate concerns, that's the route we'd take.

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By *issy louWoman  over a year ago

Staffordshire Moorlands

Aww I know exactly how you feel...I had the same for years with my ex and it is heartbreaking

My 'kids' are now 20 and 18 and both now choose to have no contact with their dead beat father. They appreciate that I did the best possible job bringing them up alone and the three of us are as close as we could possibly be. My ex will never know how wonderful MY children have turned out to be....and believe me it is his loss!

I am sure that things will get better for you

Hugs xxx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You are welcome x

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Keep records.

Have you approached mediation or courts?

It's always a tough thing but kids are very resilient

Yes tried mediation he didn't turn up

If he didn't attend mediation they will give you a letter stating that. Then you're within your rights to stop him seeing them and force him through the courts where a proper structure and conditions of contact will be set in place. Seems harsh but, if you have legitimate concerns, that's the route we'd take. "

Thanks I tried to stay out of court but I can't have this last year he gave me so much grief to get it to stop I had to pretend I was in France

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By *inaTitzTV/TS  over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

People reap what they sow. In a few years time they'll want nothing to do with him.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's a shame. I am a dad who loves seeing my son I don't see him much as I want as he lives with his mum my ex far away but I love every single moment with him.

I hope they do end up having a great time x"

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By *ngels of SinCouple  over a year ago

Bristol

No not the place for this if you ask me. I have dramas with my ex all the time over my kids so know there's always 2 sides to every story! I'm not saying you are wrong or he is. I'm just saying parents (both sides) often jump to conclusions and do/say things which all to often happens in front of or affects the kids directly or indirectly in a negative way.

If you are that bothered then instead of getting upset or annoyed about it swallow your contempt and try speaking to him without getting annoyed. Easy to say I know.

Like I said it's easy to listen to one side and make judgement. In my case seeing them for a weekend costs me in excess of £400 so as much as I'd like to see them, I don't get to see them as often as I'd like. The fact it costs me £140 just in petrol is irrelevant to my ex. If I haven't got the money I should teleport, at least that's how it feels sometimes.

After taking a mouth full I ask the question "why don't you bring them to me then for a change?" It's a completely different story.

Stop letting yourself get wound up about it. As long as he's looking after them and they're safe then you can't make him take the kids out. Getting wound up about it will just result in the kids picking up on negativity between you.

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By *xpresMan  over a year ago

Elland

Sorry to hear it.

but don't tar us dads with same brush my boys n me are out all the time football park cinema shooting walks etc.. But i do feel for you

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Keep records.

Have you approached mediation or courts?

It's always a tough thing but kids are very resilient

Yes tried mediation he didn't turn up

If he didn't attend mediation they will give you a letter stating that. Then you're within your rights to stop him seeing them and force him through the courts where a proper structure and conditions of contact will be set in place. Seems harsh but, if you have legitimate concerns, that's the route we'd take.

Thanks I tried to stay out of court but I can't have this last year he gave me so much grief to get it to stop I had to pretend I was in France "

Speaking from experience, and having over 10yrs of abuse from an ex, court, although drastic, is the best action.

It's stopped 90% of the trouble because you can have things in a court order which bring penalties.

Seems harsh, and he may not even turn up to court, but you have to do your best by the children.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sorry to hear it.

but don't tar us dads with same brush my boys n me are out all the time football park cinema shooting walks etc.. But i do feel for you"

It's not always dads and in our case it's the mother.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"No not the place for this if you ask me. I have dramas with my ex all the time over my kids so know there's always 2 sides to every story! I'm not saying you are wrong or he is. I'm just saying parents (both sides) often jump to conclusions and do/say things which all to often happens in front of or affects the kids directly or indirectly in a negative way.

If you are that bothered then instead of getting upset or annoyed about it swallow your contempt and try speaking to him without getting annoyed. Easy to say I know.

Like I said it's easy to listen to one side and make judgement. In my case seeing them for a weekend costs me in excess of £400 so as much as I'd like to see them, I don't get to see them as often as I'd like. The fact it costs me £140 just in petrol is irrelevant to my ex. If I haven't got the money I should teleport, at least that's how it feels sometimes.

After taking a mouth full I ask the question "why don't you bring them to me then for a change?" It's a completely different story.

Stop letting yourself get wound up about it. As long as he's looking after them and they're safe then you can't make him take the kids out. Getting wound up about it will just result in the kids picking up on negativity between you. "

Good post.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Keep records.

Have you approached mediation or courts?

It's always a tough thing but kids are very resilient

Yes tried mediation he didn't turn up

If he didn't attend mediation they will give you a letter stating that. Then you're within your rights to stop him seeing them and force him through the courts where a proper structure and conditions of contact will be set in place. Seems harsh but, if you have legitimate concerns, that's the route we'd take.

Thanks I tried to stay out of court but I can't have this last year he gave me so much grief to get it to stop I had to pretend I was in France

Speaking from experience, and having over 10yrs of abuse from an ex, court, although drastic, is the best action.

It's stopped 90% of the trouble because you can have things in a court order which bring penalties.

Seems harsh, and he may not even turn up to court, but you have to do your best by the children.

"

Without going into too much detail he has been warned if he goes off at me again he will be arrested . So as you can see it's very difficult for me to discuss anything with him . So I have to trust that he will do right by them

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Wish I hadn't posted now pretty certain someone will turn it against me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Big hugs Hun

Stay Strong xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Nothing to turn, you were being honest x

Anyone that does turn this has no place in your thoughts

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By *xpresMan  over a year ago

Elland


"Sorry to hear it.

but don't tar us dads with same brush my boys n me are out all the time football park cinema shooting walks etc.. But i do feel for you

It's not always dads and in our case it's the mother. "

that sux also i cant say owt bad about my exwife as a parent shit wife good mom

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By *issy louWoman  over a year ago

Staffordshire Moorlands


"Wish I hadn't posted now pretty certain someone will turn it against me "

Please dont worry....sometimes you just need to vent

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Wish I hadn't posted now pretty certain someone will turn it against me "

That is the danger with an open forum.

It's tough for you at the moment but they may end up having a great week. He may not do things the way that you would do them with the children but that doesn't mean he won't do things with them.

It's a testing time but it is important for children to spend time with both parents.

I hope when you hear from them again they are telling you about the good time they are having. If they have a bad time then they will be even more excited to see you.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Wish I hadn't posted now pretty certain someone will turn it against me "

We have been there so have experience. Sometimes, however hard it is for others to see, it isn't always both parents fault. You are obviously trying to do right by your children because you believe that two parents are important, which is commendable. However, if he wouldn't sit down at mediation then obviously he doesn't feel the same way. This happened with me and why I had to take the court route, which is very tough for a father to do believe me!

But, and this is important, when you feel you have no option, when the other parent isn't willing to be reasonable, the courts is your best approach.

As some background I was stopped from seeing my daughter for a year by my ex, because my ex assaulted my wife! I would do whatever it takes for my child, a fact my ex greatly underestimated. So the courts put an order in place and it stopped, even though she still tests it.

Don't take any criticism, you have posted because you need to talk. If you want to inbox us you can.

Like we said its not about bad dads or bad mothers, just some people are bad.

Chin up.

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By *ngels of SinCouple  over a year ago

Bristol

Just to add to my last post what was your ex like with the kids when you were together? (retorical question)

I only ask because if he has a history of being unsage with the kids then you have good reason to worry. If he was good with the kids then why all the worry now.

I'm just trying to add another angle to the situation. My ex never had any problems with the way I handled the kids or disciplined them or with the way I handled anything for that matter. But ever since we split up (her fault, not mine) i can't be trusted with a cup of hot liquid!!!

I would never put my children in harms way and always think things through and do the best by the kids as far as reasonably possible. The ex will then speak to the kids, hear part of something and jump to conclussions and accuse me of putting the kids in danger!!

What I am trying to say, in a verbose manner,is that unless he has a history of neglecting the children, put your feet up, stop worrying and enjoy your alone time. As already posted by someone children are resillient.

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By *entaur_UKMan  over a year ago

Cannock


"My children are with their dad this week .

He didn't turn up for them yesterday to get at me . My friend dropped them off with him .

They just called me as my little one has been naughty and drawn on the wall

Not surprised as they told me they not even been outside all day

I want to go get my babies I am in bits

I am trying so hard for them to spend time with him and I get abuse or he just does nothing with them

Sob sob sob sob sob sorry not the place for this I know "

Sorry to hear this, sending you a big hug. Just remember its not for long and this time next week they'll be back with you. xxx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"No not the place for this if you ask me. I have dramas with my ex all the time over my kids so know there's always 2 sides to every story! I'm not saying you are wrong or he is. I'm just saying parents (both sides) often jump to conclusions and do/say things which all to often happens in front of or affects the kids directly or indirectly in a negative way.

If you are that bothered then instead of getting upset or annoyed about it swallow your contempt and try speaking to him without getting annoyed. Easy to say I know.

Like I said it's easy to listen to one side and make judgement. In my case seeing them for a weekend costs me in excess of £400 so as much as I'd like to see them, I don't get to see them as often as I'd like. The fact it costs me £140 just in petrol is irrelevant to my ex. If I haven't got the money I should teleport, at least that's how it feels sometimes.

After taking a mouth full I ask the question "why don't you bring them to me then for a change?" It's a completely different story.

Stop letting yourself get wound up about it. As long as he's looking after them and they're safe then you can't make him take the kids out. Getting wound up about it will just result in the kids picking up on negativity between you. "

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Wish I hadn't posted now pretty certain someone will turn it against me "

People are going to have their opinions, the most important thing is don't take them to heart and don't take them personally...while it's good to vent we are posting on a public forum and people will give their opinion good or bad...I hope you get things sorted in regards to your children

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Wish I hadn't posted now pretty certain someone will turn it against me

That is the danger with an open forum.

It's tough for you at the moment but they may end up having a great week. He may not do things the way that you would do them with the children but that doesn't mean he won't do things with them.

It's a testing time but it is important for children to spend time with both parents.

I hope when you hear from them again they are telling you about the good time they are having. If they have a bad time then they will be even more excited to see you.

"

Good post.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Cracked open some wine and gonna hope they ok and looking forward to next week as I taking them away

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By *entaur_UKMan  over a year ago

Cannock


"Cracked open some wine and gonna hope they ok and looking forward to next week as I taking them away "

Now there is something to look forward to, stay positive and hope you have a great time next week.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Cracked open some wine and gonna hope they ok and looking forward to next week as I taking them away "

Im sure they will be fine. Enjoy your wine and look forward to them coming home so you can spend some quality time with them.

Hugs. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My children are with their dad this week .

He didn't turn up for them yesterday to get at me . My friend dropped them off with him .

They just called me as my little one has been naughty and drawn on the wall

Not surprised as they told me they not even been outside all day

I want to go get my babies I am in bits

I am trying so hard for them to spend time with him and I get abuse or he just does nothing with them

Sob sob sob sob sob sorry not the place for this I know "

Didn't you teach them it was wrong to draw on walls?

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By *uke olovingmanMan  over a year ago

Gravesend

hugs xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"My children are with their dad this week .

He didn't turn up for them yesterday to get at me . My friend dropped them off with him .

They just called me as my little one has been naughty and drawn on the wall

Not surprised as they told me they not even been outside all day

I want to go get my babies I am in bits

I am trying so hard for them to spend time with him and I get abuse or he just does nothing with them

Sob sob sob sob sob sorry not the place for this I know

Didn't you teach them it was wrong to draw on walls?"

Really ....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My children are with their dad this week .

He didn't turn up for them yesterday to get at me . My friend dropped them off with him .

They just called me as my little one has been naughty and drawn on the wall

Not surprised as they told me they not even been outside all day

I want to go get my babies I am in bits

I am trying so hard for them to spend time with him and I get abuse or he just does nothing with them

Sob sob sob sob sob sorry not the place for this I know

Didn't you teach them it was wrong to draw on walls?"

Let us know when you have kids and make that comment again

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Is he actually interested in the children? He doesn't seem to if he's not bothered to take them out all day! Hope you get it sorted out and don't let him give you abuse!! *hugs* xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"My children are with their dad this week .

He didn't turn up for them yesterday to get at me . My friend dropped them off with him .

They just called me as my little one has been naughty and drawn on the wall

Not surprised as they told me they not even been outside all day

I want to go get my babies I am in bits

I am trying so hard for them to spend time with him and I get abuse or he just does nothing with them

Sob sob sob sob sob sorry not the place for this I know

Didn't you teach them it was wrong to draw on walls?

Let us know when you have kids and make that comment again "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Id ask the children if they are bothered about seeing their dad. He sounds a total Twat.

Only time I miss a planned day, weekend or holiday with mine is if Im ill or poxy car breaks down. Love spending time with them.

Hugs being sent over.

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By *izzy RascallMan  over a year ago

Cardiff

Why did you split up in the first place?

He should of picked them up.

He should take them out the house, its not an excuse to draw on the walls though.

Try and keep it out of the courts if you can.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman  over a year ago

Kent


"My children are with their dad this week .

He didn't turn up for them yesterday to get at me . My friend dropped them off with him .

They just called me as my little one has been naughty and drawn on the wall

Not surprised as they told me they not even been outside all day

I want to go get my babies I am in bits

I am trying so hard for them to spend time with him and I get abuse or he just does nothing with them

Sob sob sob sob sob sorry not the place for this I know

Didn't you teach them it was wrong to draw on walls?"

You do know that people (kids especially) don't always do as they are told right? And that you can't actually watch them every single second?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

My children are too small to make the decision themselves so as a responsible parent I try my best to make sure they see their dad . We spilt up becuase of things he did to me but I won't let that affect my children's future . I text him told him to make sure they go out

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

And my little boy the wall artist is exactly that my walls have murals all over them he does get told but still does it he's only small so when he is big he can bloody redecorate lol

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By *izzy RascallMan  over a year ago

Cardiff

I asked to take the story back in time and find the history behind it, more often than not there are two sides to a story and Im not saying for one second you should hold any blame, just trying to see things from his eyes and shoes.

However, I still cant as 'things' dosent really say anything.

It'll be an easier time for him if he did take them out.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My children are with their dad this week .

He didn't turn up for them yesterday to get at me . My friend dropped them off with him .

They just called me as my little one has been naughty and drawn on the wall

Not surprised as they told me they not even been outside all day

I want to go get my babies I am in bits

I am trying so hard for them to spend time with him and I get abuse or he just does nothing with them

Sob sob sob sob sob sorry not the place for this I know

Didn't you teach them it was wrong to draw on walls?

Let us know when you have kids and make that comment again "

You let your kids draw on walls?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I asked to take the story back in time and find the history behind it, more often than not there are two sides to a story and Im not saying for one second you should hold any blame, just trying to see things from his eyes and shoes.

However, I still cant as 'things' dosent really say anything.

It'll be an easier time for him if he did take them out."

He was abusive to me I don't want to say much as it's not relevant to my children I did say up there I didn't want to say much about it . He was a lazy dad back then as well

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My children are too small to make the decision themselves so as a responsible parent I try my best to make sure they see their dad . We spilt up becuase of things he did to me but I won't let that affect my children's future . I text him told him to make sure they go out"

Depends on if you think they are safe with him. Not just physically safe, psychologically too. If you are worried get child services involved. Can you talk to them on the phone every night? At least you'll get an idea of if they are ok.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"My children are too small to make the decision themselves so as a responsible parent I try my best to make sure they see their dad . We spilt up becuase of things he did to me but I won't let that affect my children's future . I text him told him to make sure they go out

Depends on if you think they are safe with him. Not just physically safe, psychologically too. If you are worried get child services involved. Can you talk to them on the phone every night? At least you'll get an idea of if they are ok. "

I will face time them tonight little sausages awww love them

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By *all-Eddies QosCouple  over a year ago

wirral

I know how you Feel....my ex is a complete twat.

he came to take my daughter to where her church camp was leaving for on Monday and proceeded to cause an almighty row, upset the other 3 children and left with the one going to camp without giving me chance to say" goodbye, love you, have a nice week" etc

just remember though....all this going on, they will remember who was a constant source of stability, love and entertainment.....i know i do.....

karma. I waited 4 years for it to kick in and i know its bad of me to gloat. ....but couldn't be more well deserved.

HAHA chin up bird xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Family issue

Ikm outta here

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By *izzy RascallMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"I asked to take the story back in time and find the history behind it, more often than not there are two sides to a story and Im not saying for one second you should hold any blame, just trying to see things from his eyes and shoes.

However, I still cant as 'things' dosent really say anything.

It'll be an easier time for him if he did take them out.

He was abusive to me I don't want to say much as it's not relevant to my children I did say up there I didn't want to say much about it . He was a lazy dad back then as well "

I havent read the whole thread word for word, one, two miss a few, that kind of thing 100.

The only thing that really matters is the kids, sounds harsh but your feelings dont really come in to it. Thats how a court will see it.

Does he pose any danger to them? No

He gets to see them at this n that time etc.

Keep your dignity, dont show him the hurt, and most of all dont bad mouth him to the kids, they will make their own minds up and in time, realise who is there for them, who isn't. You will come out smelling of roses.

Keep strong

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I asked to take the story back in time and find the history behind it, more often than not there are two sides to a story and Im not saying for one second you should hold any blame, just trying to see things from his eyes and shoes.

However, I still cant as 'things' dosent really say anything.

It'll be an easier time for him if he did take them out.

He was abusive to me I don't want to say much as it's not relevant to my children I did say up there I didn't want to say much about it . He was a lazy dad back then as well

I havent read the whole thread word for word, one, two miss a few, that kind of thing 100.

The only thing that really matters is the kids, sounds harsh but your feelings dont really come in to it. Thats how a court will see it.

Does he pose any danger to them? No

He gets to see them at this n that time etc.

Keep your dignity, dont show him the hurt, and most of all dont bad mouth him to the kids, they will make their own minds up and in time, realise who is there for them, who isn't. You will come out smelling of roses.

Keep strong "

Exactly what I am doing hence posting on here as can't talk to anyone about it xxx thanks x

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By *ademoiselleWoman  over a year ago

Ely


"My children are with their dad this week .

He didn't turn up for them yesterday to get at me . My friend dropped them off with him .

They just called me as my little one has been naughty and drawn on the wall

Not surprised as they told me they not even been outside all day

I want to go get my babies I am in bits

I am trying so hard for them to spend time with him and I get abuse or he just does nothing with them

Sob sob sob sob sob sorry not the place for this I know

Didn't you teach them it was wrong to draw on walls?

Let us know when you have kids and make that comment again

"

I drew on walls as a kid....great when peeling back wallpaper at my parents and seeing or reading it again. .....but yes in those days you got your arse tanned....quite like that now...

Chin up girl they'll be back before you know it

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"My children are with their dad this week .

He didn't turn up for them yesterday to get at me . My friend dropped them off with him .

They just called me as my little one has been naughty and drawn on the wall

Not surprised as they told me they not even been outside all day

I want to go get my babies I am in bits

I am trying so hard for them to spend time with him and I get abuse or he just does nothing with them

Sob sob sob sob sob sorry not the place for this I know

Didn't you teach them it was wrong to draw on walls?

Let us know when you have kids and make that comment again

I drew on walls as a kid....great when peeling back wallpaper at my parents and seeing or reading it again. .....but yes in those days you got your arse tanned....quite like that now...

Chin up girl they'll be back before you know it"

Can't wait to start a post moaning how they are annoying me and drawing on my walls ha ha zx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I hope they do end up having a lovely time, however if you really think they arn't happy then i would go fetch them back and if he makes that difficult then then contact social services (or whatever its called nowadays).

Hubbys ex caused lots of trouble for me when we had his child, she still poisons their child with nasty things about me, however as the child got older they obviously realise that their mum is lying, so now things are better !

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"People reap what they sow. In a few years time they'll want nothing to do with him. "

so true x they are sponges at this point. in a few years theyll just say no. ((hugs))

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I don't want to be rude or imply that I don't believe what the op has said but people are dissing a guy here on one side of the story only....just saying.

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By *izzy RascallMan  over a year ago

Cardiff

Thats what I was hinting at a few posts up

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I don't want to be rude or imply that I don't believe what the op has said but people are dissing a guy here on one side of the story only....just saying."

I understand that's cool . I can confirm he is a controlling nasty person to me . But to my children he is their dad and he may be lazy but he does love them . That's why it breaks my heart to let them go when I know they haven't been outside and been naughty but I have to as I want them to have relationship with him

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"No not the place for this if you ask me. I have dramas with my ex all the time over my kids so know there's always 2 sides to every story! I'm not saying you are wrong or he is. I'm just saying parents (both sides) often jump to conclusions and do/say things which all to often happens in front of or affects the kids directly or indirectly in a negative way.

If you are that bothered then instead of getting upset or annoyed about it swallow your contempt and try speaking to him without getting annoyed. Easy to say I know.

Like I said it's easy to listen to one side and make judgement. In my case seeing them for a weekend costs me in excess of £400 so as much as I'd like to see them, I don't get to see them as often as I'd like. The fact it costs me £140 just in petrol is irrelevant to my ex. If I haven't got the money I should teleport, at least that's how it feels sometimes.

After taking a mouth full I ask the question "why don't you bring them to me then for a change?" It's a completely different story.

Stop letting yourself get wound up about it. As long as he's looking after them and they're safe then you can't make him take the kids out. Getting wound up about it will just result in the kids picking up on negativity between you.

"

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By *izzy RascallMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"I don't want to be rude or imply that I don't believe what the op has said but people are dissing a guy here on one side of the story only....just saying.

I understand that's cool . I can confirm he is a controlling nasty person to me . But to my children he is their dad and he may be lazy but he does love them . That's why it breaks my heart to let them go when I know they haven't been outside and been naughty but I have to as I want them to have relationship with him "

I dont disbelieve you for one second. Im glad you didnt reply with 'we split because I/he had an affair' I am sorry though your answer was down the abuse road, nobody should suffer that.

He loves them that is such a big thing, so big some of the smaller stuff like his lazyness dosent matter.

I cant stand my ex, we get on superbly though and our child dosent see us argue anymore, all she see's is us getting on. I have every right to fucking hate the cow, I don't, I just dont love her.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I carnt get my head round dicks like that my son is in Ireland I try too see him once a month .she try's to make it hard for me to see him but I will never stop at the end of the day it your blood

I feel for you

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My children are with their dad this week .

He didn't turn up for them yesterday to get at me . My friend dropped them off with him .

They just called me as my little one has been naughty and drawn on the wall

Not surprised as they told me they not even been outside all day

I want to go get my babies I am in bits

I am trying so hard for them to spend time with him and I get abuse or he just does nothing with them

Sob sob sob sob sob sorry not the place for this I know

Didn't you teach them it was wrong to draw on walls?

Let us know when you have kids and make that comment again

You let your kids draw on walls? "

Don't have any kids lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My children are with their dad this week .

He didn't turn up for them yesterday to get at me . My friend dropped them off with him .

They just called me as my little one has been naughty and drawn on the wall

Not surprised as they told me they not even been outside all day

I want to go get my babies I am in bits

I am trying so hard for them to spend time with him and I get abuse or he just does nothing with them

Sob sob sob sob sob sorry not the place for this I know

Didn't you teach them it was wrong to draw on walls?

Let us know when you have kids and make that comment again "

Why would someone have to have kids to ask that question? Ours were taught not to but to use paper to draw on.

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By *ngels of SinCouple  over a year ago

Bristol


"I don't want to be rude or imply that I don't believe what the op has said but people are dissing a guy here on one side of the story only....just saying."

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

I don't have any children so I have no experience, I hope it resolves itself favourably for the kids.

My only advice would be, if you were concerned, wound up, aggravated ...... stay off the wine.

Good luck...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

At the beginning of our split we had equal custody. But my ex didn't make great efforts to see our child. He was a crap dad when he did have her. So I didn't encourage him to have her and if he didn't come down to get her or call about it. Then I didn't chase him and she didn't go. In his last year alive, I think he saw her twice.

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo


"Id ask the children if they are bothered about seeing their dad. He sounds a total Twat.

"

You got that from the OP?

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo


"

You do know that people (kids especially) don't always do as they are told right? And that you can't actually watch them every single second? "

This is true....it could happen whoever was looking after them at the time

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo


"And my little boy the wall artist is exactly that my walls have murals all over them he does get told but still does it he's only small so when he is big he can bloody redecorate lol"

You say he drew on your ex's walls because the ex didn't take him out....does that mean you don't take them out either as they draw on your walls too?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Cannot be that broken hearted the OP is looking to meet this evening!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Awww sorry to hear this, my ex is the same. Never takes them anywhere and if he does its like he expects a medal or something.

Let them down last few weeks and it breaks your heart to see them so sad.

Sending you big hugs and if you need a rant feel free to pm me xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Cannot be that broken hearted the OP is looking to meet this evening!"

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Cannot be that broken hearted the OP is looking to meet this evening!"

Erm what has that got to do with it?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Cannot be that broken hearted the OP is looking to meet this evening!"

her kids are away, is that a problem???? is she not allowed to have some fun????

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