 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I was just reading an article about a 90 year old sexual agony aunt. I must admit the problem pages are one of my favourite sections of a magazine.
So share your problem here, sexual or otherwise and let's see if the Lounge with it's wide variety of knowledge and colourful characters can help you solve it?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
Who's next? And can we improve upon the quality of the agony, please?
Some of us feel as though we missed something with the old thumbs up thumbs down business in the Coliseum.
And some people here are possibly old enough to remember that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"Im having difficulty applying the suncream to certain areas ... Any advice or help wouod be gratefully received "
Easy - fill your bath tub with it, jump in and then go and sunbathe. That wasn't hard. Just don't get any on the bus seat if you are going to the park.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Im having difficulty applying the suncream to certain areas ... Any advice or help wouod be gratefully received
Easy - fill your bath tub with it, jump in and then go and sunbathe. That wasn't hard. Just don't get any on the bus seat if you are going to the park. "
Bus 
I could
Fill the paddling pool n just lay in that.. Good idea Aunty Tina  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"There is a tree surgeon up a tree in a neighbouring garden. I'm concerned what he might do with his chainsaw if he sees me nude sunbathing "
Get an axe and chop the tree down. He won't be able to see you after that. Whether he jumps down or not before you have hacked through it is his problem. Whether he drops the chainsaw on your head or not is your problem.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I was just reading an article about a 90 year old sexual agony aunt. I must admit the problem pages are one of my favourite sections of a magazine"
90???
I'm not surprised sex is agony for the poor old aunt!
She's probably being too energetic! 
A |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"oo doctor
its seems that i havent had sex or oral or anything now for 12 weeks
is it true that im a born again virgin
any advice would be received :P"
You are not a born again virgin, but are in danger of having the hole seal itself. I'd recommend getting a meet with some meat as soon as you can find a mate. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"My problem is I'm swinging lazy...
I feel I should attend to this more, but other avenues come up and I follow that white rabbit instead.
Problem? Or just natural?"
Buy a hammock, put up one sunny afternoon. Put Kinks LP on record player in house, open windows and jump in hammock and spend all afternoon there. That is lazy swinging. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"Do I get the bike out and pedal a few miles before going to the gym later or do I sit and watch Full Metal Jacket that's just started on the tellybox  "
Bring bike into house and put on bricks. Peddle backwards whilst watching said fillum.
Next! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There is a tree surgeon up a tree in a neighbouring garden. I'm concerned what he might do with his chainsaw if he sees me nude sunbathing
Get an axe and chop the tree down. He won't be able to see you after that. Whether he jumps down or not before you have hacked through it is his problem. Whether he drops the chainsaw on your head or not is your problem. "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"oo doctor
its seems that i havent had sex or oral or anything now for 12 weeks
is it true that im a born again virgin
any advice would be received :P
You are not a born again virgin, but are in danger of having the hole seal itself. I'd recommend getting a meet with some meat as soon as you can find a mate. "
drat i liked the thought od being a virgin again. kissed for the very 1st time  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Buy a hammock, put up one sunny afternoon. Put Kinks LP on record player in house, open windows and jump in hammock and spend all afternoon there. That is lazy swinging. "
I think I'm going to join in lazy swinging, sounds like bliss ! I'll invite the tree surgeon round with his large chopper to join me! One problem solved. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm being bullied into wearing a mankini on friday for a beach party theme!
I don't like the idea personally as I don't know the kazakh national anthem off by heart, cultural learnings of great nation kazkhstan is proving quite tricky! So is my ability to grow a decent moustache!
Help! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"I'm being bullied into wearing a mankini on friday for a beach party theme!
I don't like the idea personally as I don't know the kazakh national anthem off by heart, cultural learnings of great nation kazkhstan is proving quite tricky! So is my ability to grow a decent moustache!
Help! "
You'll look great in a Mankini and will spend most of the night out of sight in private rooms. However, you won't be having sex, you'll just be trying to hide from people. Learn the Kazakh national anthem as swiftly as you can, or fake it to the tune of 'My old man's a dustman' and hope they are all too busy laughing at the mankini to notice. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm being bullied into wearing a mankini on friday for a beach party theme!
I don't like the idea personally as I don't know the kazakh national anthem off by heart, cultural learnings of great nation kazkhstan is proving quite tricky! So is my ability to grow a decent moustache!
Help! "
That would be worth seeing alone |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm being bullied into wearing a mankini on friday for a beach party theme!
I don't like the idea personally as I don't know the kazakh national anthem off by heart, cultural learnings of great nation kazkhstan is proving quite tricky! So is my ability to grow a decent moustache!
Help!
That would be worth seeing alone "
Er no it really wouldn't |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm being bullied into wearing a mankini on friday for a beach party theme!
I don't like the idea personally as I don't know the kazakh national anthem off by heart, cultural learnings of great nation kazkhstan is proving quite tricky! So is my ability to grow a decent moustache!
Help!
You'll look great in a Mankini and will spend most of the night out of sight in private rooms. However, you won't be having sex, you'll just be trying to hide from people. Learn the Kazakh national anthem as swiftly as you can, or fake it to the tune of 'My old man's a dustman' and hope they are all too busy laughing at the mankini to notice. "
Some help you are!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm being bullied into wearing a mankini on friday for a beach party theme!
I don't like the idea personally as I don't know the kazakh national anthem off by heart, cultural learnings of great nation kazkhstan is proving quite tricky! So is my ability to grow a decent moustache!
Help!
That would be worth seeing alone
Er no it really wouldn't "
fuck if I was free id go just to.take the piss |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have feelings for someone I really shouldn't, it's so wrong lol
The heart wants what the heart wants
even when you know you shouldnt "
it's not the hear that wwants it lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
fuck if I was free id go just to.take the piss
oh you want me sweetness and light or honest"
Honesty is the best policy! Sometime I just don't want to hear it though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Agoneeeeee eee eee. Which one of you is Maureen Lipman?
I've been having trouble sleeping in this heat. Would it be wrong to get an air conditioned hotel room for a meet, split the cost and then chuck him out when I need to sleep?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Agoneeeeee eee eee. Which one of you is Maureen Lipman?
I've been having trouble sleeping in this heat. Would it be wrong to get an air conditioned hotel room for a meet, split the cost and then chuck him out when I need to sleep?
"
Sounds like a perfectly feasible plan to me ! In fact , I think you are on to something there . Now where's my Yellow Pages ! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Agoneeeeee eee eee. Which one of you is Maureen Lipman?
I've been having trouble sleeping in this heat. Would it be wrong to get an air conditioned hotel room for a meet, split the cost and then chuck him out when I need to sleep?
Sounds like a perfectly feasible plan to me ! In fact , I think you are on to something there . Now where's my Yellow Pages ! "
Great! Now to find a room and someone to share the cost.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" I have a baked bean stuck up my left nostril OP .. Help!!! "
Press your finger against yr right nostril , blow with all your might . The baked bean will hurtle out at high speed and land on your slice of toast with accompanying snot which will provide extra nutritious value ! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was just reading an article about a 90 year old sexual agony aunt. I must admit the problem pages are one of my favourite sections of a magazine
90???
I'm not surprised sex is agony for the poor old aunt!
She's probably being too energetic!
A"
Never too old... Ask Funky... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" I have a baked bean stuck up my left nostril OP .. Help!!!
Press your finger against yr right nostril , blow with all your might . The baked bean will hurtle out at high speed and land on your slice of toast with accompanying snot which will provide extra nutritious value ! "
Cover it in chocolate... It'll come out a treat... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Agoneeeeee eee eee. Which one of you is Maureen Lipman?
I've been having trouble sleeping in this heat. Would it be wrong to get an air conditioned hotel room for a meet, split the cost and then chuck him out when I need to sleep?
"
Oi...!!! When did you start goin Dutch...??? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Since affiliating to this site, I am not sure if I am a free lovin' hippie, or a wanton whore?
Just be a hippie whore.
"
Hmmm...sound advice, but it could be tricky, as I possess snake-hips. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Agoneeeeee eee eee. Which one of you is Maureen Lipman?
I've been having trouble sleeping in this heat. Would it be wrong to get an air conditioned hotel room for a meet, split the cost and then chuck him out when I need to sleep?
Oi...!!! When did you start goin Dutch...??? "
Oooo, there's an idea. Any Dutch men on here?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Since affiliating to this site, I am not sure if I am a free lovin' hippie, or a wanton whore?
Just be a hippie whore.
Hmmm...sound advice, but it could be tricky, as I possess snake-hips."
Snake-hippie whore?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Since affiliating to this site, I am not sure if I am a free lovin' hippie, or a wanton whore?
Just be a hippie whore.
Hmmm...sound advice, but it could be tricky, as I possess snake-hips.
Snake-hippie whore?
"
Charming . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Since affiliating to this site, I am not sure if I am a free lovin' hippie, or a wanton whore?
Just be a hippie whore.
Hmmm...sound advice, but it could be tricky, as I possess snake-hips.
Snake-hippie whore?
Charming . "
I have been told that I am a bit of a snake charmer. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Since affiliating to this site, I am not sure if I am a free lovin' hippie, or a wanton whore?
Just be a hippie whore.
Hmmm...sound advice, but it could be tricky, as I possess snake-hips.
Snake-hippie whore?
Charming .
I have been told that I am a bit of a snake charmer. "
Ah..so you play the flute madam?. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Agoneeeeee eee eee. Which one of you is Maureen Lipman?
I've been having trouble sleeping in this heat. Would it be wrong to get an air conditioned hotel room for a meet, split the cost and then chuck him out when I need to sleep?
Oi...!!! When did you start goin Dutch...???
Oooo, there's an idea. Any Dutch men on here?
"
I come from the ghettos of Ho' land sistah. Can ya. dig it? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
