FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Forum cliques
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"Takes away the fun... I'm done. Bye! " I was going to invite you to join mine, but alas I'm too late as usual | |||
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"Who said that,? " Timeflies | |||
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"Who said that,? Timeflies" Thank you annoys the hell out of me when I don t know who was unlos, Didn t know the Lady, she seemed to join in the banter | |||
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"Takes away the fun... I'm done. Bye! " ...says the person who posts and then eaves the site... | |||
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"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!! She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. " She was till the the forum bullies all get together | |||
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"How do we know it's a she? I can't see mIss or mr UNLOS " It was a single lady | |||
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"How do we know it's a she? I can't see mIss or mr UNLOS " Because I know who it was | |||
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"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!! She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together " Hadn't noticed there were forum bullies on here | |||
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"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!! She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together Hadn't noticed there were forum bullies on here " Really ? | |||
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"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!! She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together Hadn't noticed there were forum bullies on here " There isn't as far as I can see. Some people can't seem to stand it when others get on well here and flirt a little. | |||
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"It's like cluedo this! So far I have Cheeky and Tosh in the lounge with a clique I'll get to the bottom of this !" No fecker wants to join my clique | |||
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"It's like cluedo this! So far I have Cheeky and Tosh in the lounge with a clique I'll get to the bottom of this ! No fecker wants to join my clique " will be over in ten minutes but I want a special badge with my name on | |||
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"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!! She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together " Did I miss something? | |||
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"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!! She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together Did I miss something?" Will fill you in over a icecream | |||
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"Takes away the fun... I'm done. Bye! " Easy to blame others and things you have no control over for lack of fab success. Take more personal responsibility and buy a kilo of personality | |||
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"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!! She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together Hadn't noticed there were forum bullies on here " Give us your lunch money... | |||
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"The trouble is when you get lots of different personalities all fighting for attention on here then no doubt there will be clashes...As far as bullying I haven't witnessed it I just think sometimes people can over do it....I've seen more jesters than bullies.. " Maybe bullies was the wrong word to use . But its the gang mentality what winds me up . Takes 1 to turn on someone then the sheep follow . Chill tosh chill | |||
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"I don't consider my comment to be bullyish but I don't think there's a clique and I also think people who swing could have more resilience. I don't believe that 'forum clique' is the sole reason why she left. I am interested to know the thread where the 'bullying' took place though if anyone knows. " Well the word clique was used by said now non member on the body size thread after just one person backed me up! A clique of two it seems lol | |||
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"The trouble is when you get lots of different personalities all fighting for attention on here then no doubt there will be clashes...As far as bullying I haven't witnessed it I just think sometimes people can over do it....I've seen more jesters than bullies.. Maybe bullies was the wrong word to use . But its the gang mentality what winds me up . Takes 1 to turn on someone then the sheep follow . Chill tosh chill " I agree tosh. But sadly most forums are the same | |||
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"I don't consider my comment to be bullyish but I don't think there's a clique and I also think people who swing could have more resilience. I don't believe that 'forum clique' is the sole reason why she left. I am interested to know the thread where the 'bullying' took place though if anyone knows. Well the word clique was used by said now non member on the body size thread after just one person backed me up! A clique of two it seems lol " Or it could be another thread | |||
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"I don't consider my comment to be bullyish but I don't think there's a clique and I also think people who swing could have more resilience. I don't believe that 'forum clique' is the sole reason why she left. I am interested to know the thread where the 'bullying' took place though if anyone knows. Well the word clique was used by said now non member on the body size thread after just one person backed me up! A clique of two it seems lol Or it could be another thread " Lol possibly | |||
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"I don't consider my comment to be bullyish but I don't think there's a clique and I also think people who swing could have more resilience. I don't believe that 'forum clique' is the sole reason why she left. I am interested to know the thread where the 'bullying' took place though if anyone knows. Well the word clique was used by said now non member on the body size thread after just one person backed me up! A clique of two it seems lol Or it could be another thread " Married thread? | |||
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"The trouble is when you get lots of different personalities all fighting for attention on here then no doubt there will be clashes...As far as bullying I haven't witnessed it I just think sometimes people can over do it....I've seen more jesters than bullies.. Maybe bullies was the wrong word to use . But its the gang mentality what winds me up . Takes 1 to turn on someone then the sheep follow . Chill tosh chill " What you say is right it can be seen almost daily. | |||
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"I'd like one day when we can all just get on... " yeah . On fab and in the world . But unfortunately it will never happen Cheeky . Nice thought though | |||
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"The trouble is when you get lots of different personalities all fighting for attention on here then no doubt there will be clashes...As far as bullying I haven't witnessed it I just think sometimes people can over do it....I've seen more jesters than bullies.. Maybe bullies was the wrong word to use . But its the gang mentality what winds me up . Takes 1 to turn on someone then the sheep follow . Chill tosh chill What you say is right it can be seen almost daily. " Yep | |||
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"I'd like one day when we can all just get on... " I don't think it's a case of all getting on, it's a Forum and people debate. Sometimes it get's heated and sometimes people can be sarcastic and rude and to be fair I did read a few of the OP's comments yesterday and she was guilty of that herself. I've had a few spiteful comments aimed at me in the past and I've just though 'sod this' and kept away from the Forums for a while. Not everyone on here is thick skinned and some comments can be hurtful BUT no one is forced to use or take part in the Forums | |||
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"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!! She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together Hadn't noticed there were forum bullies on here " I certainly had... after a year of posting on here on and off I had to grow some tougher skin to learn to enjoy it again. Forums are mostly fun but there sure are a few hyper critical regular posters and they seem to be well accepted into the forum fold. Not sure it is a clique but have seen some very mean spirited people well defended here. | |||
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"The trouble is when you get lots of different personalities all fighting for attention on here then no doubt there will be clashes...As far as bullying I haven't witnessed it I just think sometimes people can over do it....I've seen more jesters than bullies.. Maybe bullies was the wrong word to use . But its the gang mentality what winds me up . Takes 1 to turn on someone then the sheep follow . Chill tosh chill What you say is right it can be seen almost daily. " It's also evident at times when people comment directly to a previous poster.....certain people are answered evertime and others are ignored outright by the poster, almost avoided. Party threads are rife with this phenomenon | |||
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"This forum has changed over the years...old people have gone, new people have arrived...I had a better time on here a few years ago but we can't live in the past and times evolve. " I've found it's been the same for years, different people but cliques and ganging up x | |||
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"I'd like one day when we can all just get on... I don't think it's a case of all getting on, it's a Forum and people debate. Sometimes it get's heated and sometimes people can be sarcastic and rude and to be fair I did read a few of the OP's comments yesterday and she was guilty of that herself. I've had a few spiteful comments aimed at me in the past and I've just though 'sod this' and kept away from the Forums for a while. Not everyone on here is thick skinned and some comments can be hurtful BUT no one is forced to use or take part in the Forums " Very true legs | |||
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"I'd like one day when we can all just get on... I don't think it's a case of all getting on, it's a Forum and people debate. Sometimes it get's heated and sometimes people can be sarcastic and rude and to be fair I did read a few of the OP's comments yesterday and she was guilty of that herself. I've had a few spiteful comments aimed at me in the past and I've just though 'sod this' and kept away from the Forums for a while. Not everyone on here is thick skinned and some comments can be hurtful BUT no one is forced to use or take part in the Forums Very true legs " oh I forgot to mention I still wish for World Peace | |||
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"I'd like one day when we can all just get on... I don't think it's a case of all getting on, it's a Forum and people debate. Sometimes it get's heated and sometimes people can be sarcastic and rude and to be fair I did read a few of the OP's comments yesterday and she was guilty of that herself. I've had a few spiteful comments aimed at me in the past and I've just though 'sod this' and kept away from the Forums for a while. Not everyone on here is thick skinned and some comments can be hurtful BUT no one is forced to use or take part in the Forums " | |||
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"I'd like one day when we can all just get on... I don't think it's a case of all getting on, it's a Forum and people debate. Sometimes it get's heated and sometimes people can be sarcastic and rude and to be fair I did read a few of the OP's comments yesterday and she was guilty of that herself. I've had a few spiteful comments aimed at me in the past and I've just though 'sod this' and kept away from the Forums for a while. Not everyone on here is thick skinned and some comments can be hurtful BUT no one is forced to use or take part in the Forums Very true legs oh I forgot to mention I still wish for World Peace " Right now a shag would do me | |||
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"I'd like one day when we can all just get on... I don't think it's a case of all getting on, it's a Forum and people debate. Sometimes it get's heated and sometimes people can be sarcastic and rude and to be fair I did read a few of the OP's comments yesterday and she was guilty of that herself. I've had a few spiteful comments aimed at me in the past and I've just though 'sod this' and kept away from the Forums for a while. Not everyone on here is thick skinned and some comments can be hurtful BUT no one is forced to use or take part in the Forums Very true legs oh I forgot to mention I still wish for World Peace Right now a shag would do me " Ha ha ha | |||
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"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!! She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together Hadn't noticed there were forum bullies on here I certainly had... after a year of posting on here on and off I had to grow some tougher skin to learn to enjoy it again. Forums are mostly fun but there sure are a few hyper critical regular posters and they seem to be well accepted into the forum fold. Not sure it is a clique but have seen some very mean spirited people well defended here. " | |||
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"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!! She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together Did I miss something? Will fill you in over a icecream " And me? | |||
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"Some people just take this far too seriously. ...." And some people take themselves too seriously.... | |||
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"Thia thread would have been very different had the OP not been a single female. " why would you say that ? ??? We are expressing our opinion on what goes on in forums . Not about the sex of the person . I do admire you for your honest unbiased opinions on most posts . But this one is not one of your better ones | |||
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"Some people just take this far too seriously. .... And some people take themselves too seriously.... " Because some people have feelings | |||
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"Some people just take this far too seriously. .... And some people take themselves too seriously.... Because some people have feelings " Are you saying I don't have feelings? | |||
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"Why leave the site though? Surely just stop using the forums? Sounds a bit like a Queenie fit to me. And I've got copyright on them so she owes me. If she was a single guy she'd be back on by now anyway under a different username. " because not everyone uses the site to meet, maybe her escapism was through trying to have fun and chat via the forums. | |||
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"Thia thread would have been very different had the OP not been a single female. why would you say that ? ??? We are expressing our opinion on what goes on in forums . Not about the sex of the person . I do admire you for your honest unbiased opinions on most posts . But this one is not one of your better ones " Tosh it would of been different you would of got the close the door behind you comments etc | |||
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"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!! She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together " Seriously? I was on the forums last night,she seemed to be grumpy at everything,Id enjoyed her posts but maybe she'd had a bad day,I hadn't seen any bullying at all Anyway if you're reading timeflies....take care and maybe see you back again x | |||
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"Thia thread would have been very different had the OP not been a single female. " It wouldnt matter if the poster was a single guy,single women or single tv/ts or a little green alien. id have still agreed with a few posters that see the forums as not the friendly open mindedness people would like to think. This forum can be very hostile when it wants to be and it always seems to be the same people that are the culprits. | |||
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"Some people just take this far too seriously. .... And some people take themselves too seriously.... Because some people have feelings " Just because we don't splatter them all over the forum doesn't mean we don't have feelings... | |||
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"Thia thread would have been very different had the OP not been a single female. why would you say that ? ??? We are expressing our opinion on what goes on in forums . Not about the sex of the person . I do admire you for your honest unbiased opinions on most posts . But this one is not one of your better ones " I agree with crystal, if it was a single man there wouldn't be a discussion as to why it would just be full of people saying bye | |||
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"Some people just take this far too seriously. .... And some people take themselves too seriously.... Because some people have feelings Are you saying I don't have feelings?" never said that | |||
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"Who said that,? Timeflies" Noooo | |||
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"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!! She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together Hadn't noticed there were forum bullies on here Give us your lunch money... " We're not allowed to pay for sex on here | |||
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"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!! She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together Hadn't noticed there were forum bullies on here Give us your lunch money... We're not allowed to pay for sex on here " Hahaha that proper made me laugh | |||
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"Some people just take this far too seriously. .... And some people take themselves too seriously.... Because some people have feelings Just because we don't splatter them all over the forum doesn't mean we don't have feelings..." can't remember saying you did not | |||
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"The forums can sometimes be hostile,but by the same token they can be supportive,informative and hilariously funny They are not all bad news " I would agree with this but don't want to be seen as cliquish..... | |||
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"Thia thread would have been very different had the OP not been a single female. why would you say that ? ??? We are expressing our opinion on what goes on in forums . Not about the sex of the person . I do admire you for your honest unbiased opinions on most posts . But this one is not one of your better ones Tosh it would of been different you would of got the close the door behind you comments etc " Absolutely!! Anyojw who.thinks there isn't a divide between.responses to men and responses to women are very blinkered!! As for bullies, yes they exist but in my experience (personal experience) they are posters who lurk, circling the forums looking for their prey. They are infrequent posters and once one of them posts the.others soon smell blood and.flock to back up their mate. I don't think any of the regular posters exhibit bullying behaviours. Maybe they have seen a thread repeat one too many times and si put a curt reply on bit then they should learn to move away from the.thread if they don't like it. | |||
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"Some people just take this far too seriously. .... And some people take themselves too seriously.... Because some people have feelings Just because we don't splatter them all over the forum doesn't mean we don't have feelings... can't remember saying you did not " and I can't remember saying you did. ..... | |||
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"Thia thread would have been very different had the OP not been a single female. why would you say that ? ??? We are expressing our opinion on what goes on in forums . Not about the sex of the person . I do admire you for your honest unbiased opinions on most posts . But this one is not one of your better ones Tosh it would of been different you would of got the close the door behind you comments etc " Absolutely!! Anyone whothinks there isn't a divide between.responses to men and responses to women are very blinkered!! As for bullies, yes they exist but in my experience (personal experience) they are posters who lurk, circling the forums looking for their prey. They are infrequent posters and once one of them posts the.others soon smell blood and.flock to back up their mate. I don't think any of the regular posters exhibit bullying behaviours. Maybe they have seen a thread repeat one too many times and si put a curt reply on bit then they should learn to move away from the.thread if they don't like it. | |||
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"Some people just take this far too seriously. .... And some people take themselves too seriously.... " Oh . Telling people they're wrong to feel a certain way in response to perceived unkindness is very unkind in itself. | |||
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"Thia thread would have been very different had the OP not been a single female. why would you say that ? ??? We are expressing our opinion on what goes on in forums . Not about the sex of the person . I do admire you for your honest unbiased opinions on most posts . But this one is not one of your better ones " I disagree. Whenever men post an I'm leaving thread there's usually comments like "don't let the door hit you" etc. But none of that here. I suspect mainly because most men usually whinge that's it's due to lack of meetings or tinewasters and give 2 days notice. At least she just went. But saying it's because of cliques is a bit daft. There are people here who dont like other people here, which is to be expected, but I've never seen any cliques, covens or bullying. | |||
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"At the end of the day internet bullying only works if the recipient allows it, most of us have been guilty of getting peoples back up at some point but heyho thats life. Deep Gimp" I have to disagree there Gimp, saying someone allows it is passing the blame from the perpetrators to the victims. I understand partly what you say in that if something is upsetting you should just walk away but that doesn't excuse of absolve the initial behaviour. | |||
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"The forums can sometimes be hostile,but by the same token they can be supportive,informative and hilariously funny They are not all bad news I would agree with this but don't want to be seen as cliquish..... " For gawds sake just start a row will you,I want all my forum friends to swoop in and back me up.....if I had any that is! | |||
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"I think this thread has made some of the worst offenders a little defensive. .. just my opinion " Its posts like this that fuel the flames,if you think someone us a bully just be an adult,say who you think it is and back that accusation up so they can either hold their hands up or defend themselves | |||
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"Some people just take this far too seriously. .... And some people take themselves too seriously.... Because some people have feelings Are you saying I don't have feelings? never said that " I was only joking. I have sense of humour. x | |||
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"At the end of the day internet bullying only works if the recipient allows it, most of us have been guilty of getting peoples back up at some point but heyho thats life. Deep Gimp I have to disagree there Gimp, saying someone allows it is passing the blame from the perpetrators to the victims. I understand partly what you say in that if something is upsetting you should just walk away but that doesn't excuse of absolve the initial behaviour." And for once i agree, It absolves nothing maybe its because of my thick skin but i cannot take anyones snide remarks seriously if its obvious they wouldnt say it to my face Gimp | |||
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"I think this thread has made some of the worst offenders a little defensive. .. just my opinion Its posts like this that fuel the flames,if you think someone us a bully just be an adult,say who you think it is and back that accusation up so they can either hold their hands up or defend themselves " But would that not also be bullying? Ahhh, we're caught in a forum paradox again! | |||
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"I think this thread has made some of the worst offenders a little defensive. .. just my opinion Its posts like this that fuel the flames,if you think someone us a bully just be an adult,say who you think it is and back that accusation up so they can either hold their hands up or defend themselves " That's really low. Insinuating some people on here are adults... | |||
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"I think this thread has made some of the worst offenders a little defensive. .. just my opinion Its posts like this that fuel the flames,if you think someone us a bully just be an adult,say who you think it is and back that accusation up so they can either hold their hands up or defend themselves But would that not also be bullying? Ahhh, we're caught in a forum paradox again! " I need more coffee | |||
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"At the end of the day internet bullying only works if the recipient allows it, most of us have been guilty of getting peoples back up at some point but heyho thats life. Deep Gimp I have to disagree there Gimp, saying someone allows it is passing the blame from the perpetrators to the victims. I understand partly what you say in that if something is upsetting you should just walk away but that doesn't excuse of absolve the initial behaviour. And for once i agree, It absolves nothing maybe its because of my thick skin but i cannot take anyones snide remarks seriously if its obvious they wouldnt say it to my face Gimp" Damn! I had some of my best insults saved up for you. I have had some pretty nasty comments thrown at me and when I've objected been told I clearly have no sense of humour but I don't care either. Not everyone has rhino hide like us though. Are you saying you don't very often agree with me? Bloody cheek, I'm ALWAYS right | |||
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"I think this thread has made some of the worst offenders a little defensive. .. just my opinion Its posts like this that fuel the flames,if you think someone us a bully just be an adult,say who you think it is and back that accusation up so they can either hold their hands up or defend themselves But would that not also be bullying? Ahhh, we're caught in a forum paradox again! " Can win for losing it seems. I am sure naming and shaming is a brilliant idea... not | |||
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"I think this thread has made some of the worst offenders a little defensive. .. just my opinion Its posts like this that fuel the flames,if you think someone us a bully just be an adult,say who you think it is and back that accusation up so they can either hold their hands up or defend themselves That's really low. Insinuating some people on here are adults... " I really didn't think that through did I? | |||
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"At the end of the day internet bullying only works if the recipient allows it, most of us have been guilty of getting peoples back up at some point but heyho thats life. Deep Gimp I have to disagree there Gimp, saying someone allows it is passing the blame from the perpetrators to the victims. I understand partly what you say in that if something is upsetting you should just walk away but that doesn't excuse of absolve the initial behaviour. And for once i agree, It absolves nothing maybe its because of my thick skin but i cannot take anyones snide remarks seriously if its obvious they wouldnt say it to my face Gimp" yer don't scare me | |||
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"I'd like one day when we can all just get on... " Yeah but when people do get along. Along come the people moaning about arse-licking | |||
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"At the end of the day internet bullying only works if the recipient allows it, most of us have been guilty of getting peoples back up at some point but heyho thats life. Deep Gimp I have to disagree there Gimp, saying someone allows it is passing the blame from the perpetrators to the victims. I understand partly what you say in that if something is upsetting you should just walk away but that doesn't excuse of absolve the initial behaviour. And for once i agree, It absolves nothing maybe its because of my thick skin but i cannot take anyones snide remarks seriously if its obvious they wouldnt say it to my face Gimp yer don't scare me " Me either pud em up | |||
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"Thia thread would have been very different had the OP not been a single female. why would you say that ? ??? We are expressing our opinion on what goes on in forums . Not about the sex of the person . I do admire you for your honest unbiased opinions on most posts . But this one is not one of your better ones Tosh it would of been different you would of got the close the door behind you comments etc " This is exactly the point that I was making. Only this weekend a thread got closed by the mods as all the response to a couple anannouncing they were leaving were abusive. | |||
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"I'd like one day when we can all just get on... Yeah but when people do get along. Along come the people moaning about arse-licking" Then you are fucked either way then... | |||
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"I think this thread has made some of the worst offenders a little defensive. .. just my opinion Its posts like this that fuel the flames,if you think someone us a bully just be an adult,say who you think it is and back that accusation up so they can either hold their hands up or defend themselves But would that not also be bullying? Ahhh, we're caught in a forum paradox again! " A PM (assuming you are not blocked) to someone confronting a behaviour you find an unacceptable is not necessarily bullying. Public confrontation is high risk and may well lead to some of the behaviour being discussed. Game playing with the drama triangle with roles of victims, persecutors and rescuers is very common on the forum as so much stuff gets played out in public. | |||
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"I think this thread has made some of the worst offenders a little defensive. .. just my opinion Its posts like this that fuel the flames,if you think someone us a bully just be an adult,say who you think it is and back that accusation up so they can either hold their hands up or defend themselves But would that not also be bullying? Ahhh, we're caught in a forum paradox again! Can win for losing it seems. I am sure naming and shaming is a brilliant idea... not " Then report people rather than making comments like that. We can't all get along. We can't all agree with everything. Sone threads get heated. Non of that is bullying though | |||
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"Regular forum posters will be aware I have been on a rare occasion, less than generous with my comments so I'd like to do a Monday morning apology if anyone reading this has felt less than exalted if they've read one of my posts. " I doubt anyone would class you as a bully Steve. I think this is about the people who home in on the vulnerable and if they spot a weakness point it out with glee. We have all grown impatient with people at times. | |||
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"I'd like one day when we can all just get on... Yeah but when people do get along. Along come the people moaning about arse-licking Then you are fucked either way then... " So true of life in general | |||
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"I think this thread has made some of the worst offenders a little defensive. .. just my opinion Its posts like this that fuel the flames,if you think someone us a bully just be an adult,say who you think it is and back that accusation up so they can either hold their hands up or defend themselves But would that not also be bullying? Ahhh, we're caught in a forum paradox again! Can win for losing it seems. I am sure naming and shaming is a brilliant idea... not Then report people rather than making comments like that. We can't all get along. We can't all agree with everything. Sone threads get heated. Non of that is bullying though" As everyone is so quick to point out.. I am allowed my opinion.. also. I think my point has been proven. ~Seareena | |||
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"One prevalent feeling relative newcomers have is feeling excluded or 'bullied' by groups of forumites. It's inevitable as strong bonds have been developed amongst social groupings over the years and it can appear to be difficult to break in. " Is that not the case witg every internet forum ever? Its hardly a new phenomenon and certainly not unique to here | |||
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"Regular forum posters will be aware I have been on a rare occasion, less than generous with my comments so I'd like to do a Monday morning apology if anyone reading this has felt less than exalted if they've read one of my posts. I doubt anyone would class you as a bully Steve. I think this is about the people who home in on the vulnerable and if they spot a weakness point it out with glee. We have all grown impatient with people at times." And I think this forum is full of vulnerable people and brings out the worst in many. | |||
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"I very rarely post in the forums for this reason. I would love to interact more but certain individuals put me off. I think if you dont post often and your face dont fit then you dont get response. A couple of times i have posted a thread and yes some of you was very supportive and nice to me, which i was very greatful of. But since then i have been ignored. This puts me off. Im a full time carer and would love to join is forums as a way of communication and interacting with adults as i dont much at home. But seeing how some of the people are puts me off. Sorry if this offends people but its my opinion of the forums" I feel a little sad when I read a post like this. I hope you join in more and feel more included in future | |||
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"One prevalent feeling relative newcomers have is feeling excluded or 'bullied' by groups of forumites. It's inevitable as strong bonds have been developed amongst social groupings over the years and it can appear to be difficult to break in. Is that not the case witg every internet forum ever? Its hardly a new phenomenon and certainly not unique to here" I wasn't suggesting it was unique. But I am on this forum and I feel sad that people who have something to contribute feel excluded. | |||
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"Regular forum posters will be aware I have been on a rare occasion, less than generous with my comments so I'd like to do a Monday morning apology if anyone reading this has felt less than exalted if they've read one of my posts. I doubt anyone would class you as a bully Steve. I think this is about the people who home in on the vulnerable and if they spot a weakness point it out with glee. We have all grown impatient with people at times. And I think this forum is full of vulnerable people and brings out the worst in many. " I do sometimes think that some topics shared show a vulnerability and/or naivety that makes me cringe about what is being shared. | |||
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"Regular forum posters will be aware I have been on a rare occasion, less than generous with my comments so I'd like to do a Monday morning apology if anyone reading this has felt less than exalted if they've read one of my posts. I doubt anyone would class you as a bully Steve. I think this is about the people who home in on the vulnerable and if they spot a weakness point it out with glee. We have all grown impatient with people at times. And I think this forum is full of vulnerable people and brings out the worst in many. " The world is full of vulnerable people, the less vulnerable have a choice to support, ignore or belittle. | |||
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"Regular forum posters will be aware I have been on a rare occasion, less than generous with my comments so I'd like to do a Monday morning apology if anyone reading this has felt less than exalted if they've read one of my posts. I doubt anyone would class you as a bully Steve. I think this is about the people who home in on the vulnerable and if they spot a weakness point it out with glee. We have all grown impatient with people at times. And I think this forum is full of vulnerable people and brings out the worst in many. The world is full of vulnerable people, the less vulnerable have a choice to support, ignore or belittle. " I know which I choice I'd rather make | |||
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"Regular forum posters will be aware I have been on a rare occasion, less than generous with my comments so I'd like to do a Monday morning apology if anyone reading this has felt less than exalted if they've read one of my posts. I doubt anyone would class you as a bully Steve. I think this is about the people who home in on the vulnerable and if they spot a weakness point it out with glee. We have all grown impatient with people at times. And I think this forum is full of vulnerable people and brings out the worst in many. The world is full of vulnerable people, the less vulnerable have a choice to support, ignore or belittle. I know which I choice I'd rather make " Me too....let's go and get 'em all | |||
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"I very rarely post in the forums for this reason. I would love to interact more but certain individuals put me off. I think if you dont post often and your face dont fit then you dont get response. A couple of times i have posted a thread and yes some of you was very supportive and nice to me, which i was very greatful of. But since then i have been ignored. This puts me off. Im a full time carer and would love to join is forums as a way of communication and interacting with adults as i dont much at home. But seeing how some of the people are puts me off. Sorry if this offends people but its my opinion of the forums" | |||
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"Regular forum posters will be aware I have been on a rare occasion, less than generous with my comments so I'd like to do a Monday morning apology if anyone reading this has felt less than exalted if they've read one of my posts. I doubt anyone would class you as a bully Steve. I think this is about the people who home in on the vulnerable and if they spot a weakness point it out with glee. We have all grown impatient with people at times. And I think this forum is full of vulnerable people and brings out the worst in many. The world is full of vulnerable people, the less vulnerable have a choice to support, ignore or belittle. I know which I choice I'd rather make " wish these forums had a like button | |||
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"I think this thread has made some of the worst offenders a little defensive. .. just my opinion Its posts like this that fuel the flames,if you think someone us a bully just be an adult,say who you think it is and back that accusation up so they can either hold their hands up or defend themselves But would that not also be bullying? Ahhh, we're caught in a forum paradox again! Can win for losing it seems. I am sure naming and shaming is a brilliant idea... not Then report people rather than making comments like that. We can't all get along. We can't all agree with everything. Sone threads get heated. Non of that is bullying though As everyone is so quick to point out.. I am allowed my opinion.. also. I think my point has been proven. ~Seareena " No point has been proved at all from what I can see Anyway suns out im off work and im going to enjoy my day Ill let the cyclical forum clique debate trundle on as it has done for the 6 yrs ive been here If anyone thinks im a bully feel free to inbox me with details and posts thanks,im happy to debate,the same way that im happy to say in public if I feel someone is being unfair on the forums,nothing underhand with me | |||
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"Regular forum posters will be aware I have been on a rare occasion, less than generous with my comments so I'd like to do a Monday morning apology if anyone reading this has felt less than exalted if they've read one of my posts. I doubt anyone would class you as a bully Steve. I think this is about the people who home in on the vulnerable and if they spot a weakness point it out with glee. We have all grown impatient with people at times. And I think this forum is full of vulnerable people and brings out the worst in many. The world is full of vulnerable people, the less vulnerable have a choice to support, ignore or belittle. I know which I choice I'd rather make " Well i would always be supportive to anyone | |||
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"No matter what you post, some people will take it the wrong way and be offended/ assume it's about them. Other people will understand the intention behind it. " What the fuck do you mean by that??? | |||
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"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!! She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together Hadn't noticed there were forum bullies on here Really ? " Yes, really. It's obvious that there are a lot of people here that get on really well and have "in" jokes etc. But never noticed bullying.I've always found most to be really nice. | |||
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"I very rarely post in the forums for this reason. I would love to interact more but certain individuals put me off. I think if you dont post often and your face dont fit then you dont get response. A couple of times i have posted a thread and yes some of you was very supportive and nice to me, which i was very greatful of. But since then i have been ignored. This puts me off. Im a full time carer and would love to join is forums as a way of communication and interacting with adults as i dont much at home. But seeing how some of the people are puts me off. Sorry if this offends people but its my opinion of the forums" I am also a carer and love the interaction of this site. Don't let anyone make you feel unwelcome. If some people drive you mad, which we all must do to someone, sometimes. Ignore them and talk to others that don't | |||
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"I very rarely post in the forums for this reason. I would love to interact more but certain individuals put me off. I think if you dont post often and your face dont fit then you dont get response. A couple of times i have posted a thread and yes some of you was very supportive and nice to me, which i was very greatful of. But since then i have been ignored. This puts me off. Im a full time carer and would love to join is forums as a way of communication and interacting with adults as i dont much at home. But seeing how some of the people are puts me off. Sorry if this offends people but its my opinion of the forums I am also a carer and love the interaction of this site. Don't let anyone make you feel unwelcome. If some people drive you mad, which we all must do to someone, sometimes. Ignore them and talk to others that don't " Thank you | |||
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"I very rarely post in the forums for this reason. I would love to interact more but certain individuals put me off. I think if you dont post often and your face dont fit then you dont get response. A couple of times i have posted a thread and yes some of you was very supportive and nice to me, which i was very greatful of. But since then i have been ignored. This puts me off. Im a full time carer and would love to join is forums as a way of communication and interacting with adults as i dont much at home. But seeing how some of the people are puts me off. Sorry if this offends people but its my opinion of the forums I am also a carer and love the interaction of this site. Don't let anyone make you feel unwelcome. If some people drive you mad, which we all must do to someone, sometimes. Ignore them and talk to others that don't " Ignore. Great advice. If I feel someone is being condescending or patronising I think pity the fool and move on. Or I just read the comments and laugh at their high handedness | |||
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"I very rarely post in the forums for this reason. I would love to interact more but certain individuals put me off. I think if you dont post often and your face dont fit then you dont get response. A couple of times i have posted a thread and yes some of you was very supportive and nice to me, which i was very greatful of. But since then i have been ignored. This puts me off. Im a full time carer and would love to join is forums as a way of communication and interacting with adults as i dont much at home. But seeing how some of the people are puts me off. Sorry if this offends people but its my opinion of the forums " No need to apologise - an opinion is valid regardless of who makes it. I do wonder though that if people feel they are ignored - what is the expectation of posting on a forum? Like anything on site - meets, messages etc, there's no obligation for anyone to read, respond to, or interact with anyone based on a forum post. Plenty of threads hit the dizzy heights of 175. Plenty fall flat on their arse at 1. If someone thinks they're being ignored it may not be personal. It may be the subject of the thread. It may be people have no interest in it, it's been done before or they just have no opinion. Every forum user posted their first comment at some point, or started their first thread. Some use the forums more regularly than others - hence they appear more frequently and post more often and as such may be perceived to be in a clique. Others post less frequently, cherry pick which threads they contribute to and avoid what some see as 'in-crowd' chit- chat, which is usually (note - usually) nothing more than the kind of banter you'd see in the chat rooms, but posted here instead. Regardless of whether people post daily, weekly or once in a blue moon - it's an open forum, publicly on display, got all to use as they wish (within the rules if course!). People who post to seek attention may find it either works in their favour or against them - not due to whether their face fits, but largely due to the nature of their posts. Those that post to simply enjoy banter, ask a question (sensibly and in the right way) or to share info shouldn't feel excluded in any way - and it's often more down to someone not getting the responses (in terms of volume or content) that they expected/desired that creates the feeling of exclusion and negativity. Post with no expectation that all will like what you've written, agree with your opinion or actually want to read what you've typed - and you'll feel no pain. Expect everyone to love you, agree with every word - and that by posting in the forums your life on Fab will be in any way enhanced or that your inbox will suddenly be bursting, your friends list will be bursting and people will be lining up to get jiggy with you - and you'll enjoy a much happier Fab life. It's just words. Nothing more. Nothing less. Just my 2p. A | |||
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"Regular forum posters will be aware I have been on a rare occasion, less than generous with my comments so I'd like to do a Monday morning apology if anyone reading this has felt less than exalted if they've read one of my posts. I doubt anyone would class you as a bully Steve. I think this is about the people who home in on the vulnerable and if they spot a weakness point it out with glee. We have all grown impatient with people at times. And I think this forum is full of vulnerable people and brings out the worst in many. The world is full of vulnerable people, the less vulnerable have a choice to support, ignore or belittle. I know which I choice I'd rather make Well i would always be supportive to anyone" | |||
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"Shame, the OP seemed like a canny lass from my limited interaction with her. But its the internet, you can't take it too seriously, anyone receiving butthurt from internets shouldn't really be on it. I've been using this forum for over four years and have never seen evidence of cliques. Some people know other people better than some other people. If you stay long enough you will see how these relationships change. If there is a 'clique' it's never the same for more than a few weeks so it isn't really a clique at all. On a lighter note, I don't know if anyone has heard but I'm leaving the site also. More info here, sorry guys... http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/67929 http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/69213" I'm gutted | |||
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"trouble is there are people on here who have had problems and have low self esteem which makes them over sensitive a lot of the time." Disagree with you there. Some people are naturally sensitive people nothing to do with low self esteem | |||
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"trouble is there are people on here who have had problems and have low self esteem which makes them over sensitive a lot of the time." I agree with the over sensitive part as I have been guilty of that I wouldn't say I have problems or low self esteem however there are subjects that I'm passionate about and when I see peoples posts being mean or rude then I'll say something..sometimes it's better to walk away | |||
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"No matter what you post, some people will take it the wrong way and be offended/ assume it's about them. Other people will understand the intention behind it. What the fuck do you mean by that??? " | |||
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"trouble is there are people on here who have had problems and have low self esteem which makes them over sensitive a lot of the time." Sensitivity and low self esteem don't necessarily go hand in hand. Personality types deal with different things in different ways. I have quite high self esteem but I am sensitive because of my personality type. Therefore I might feel things that would be ignored, shrugged off or not even noticed by others. | |||
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"trouble is there are people on here who have had problems and have low self esteem which makes them over sensitive a lot of the time. I agree with the over sensitive part as I have been guilty of that I wouldn't say I have problems or low self esteem however there are subjects that I'm passionate about and when I see peoples posts being mean or rude then I'll say something..sometimes it's better to walk away " I know it is and I wish I could do that sometimes, especially when it comes to "what's best shaven or natural" | |||
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"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!! She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together Hadn't noticed there were forum bullies on here " Me neither but if there are and they take a poke at me they are gona get that sh*t right back .. I've never felt excluded .. | |||
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"trouble is there are people on here who have had problems and have low self esteem which makes them over sensitive a lot of the time. I agree with the over sensitive part as I have been guilty of that I wouldn't say I have problems or low self esteem however there are subjects that I'm passionate about and when I see peoples posts being mean or rude then I'll say something..sometimes it's better to walk away I know it is and I wish I could do that sometimes, especially when it comes to "what's best shaven or natural" " It doesn't bother me that question as the difference between the two for me is a few days lol | |||
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"trouble is there are people on here who have had problems and have low self esteem which makes them over sensitive a lot of the time. I agree with the over sensitive part as I have been guilty of that I wouldn't say I have problems or low self esteem however there are subjects that I'm passionate about and when I see peoples posts being mean or rude then I'll say something..sometimes it's better to walk away I know it is and I wish I could do that sometimes, especially when it comes to "what's best shaven or natural" It doesn't bother me that question as the difference between the two for me is a few days lol " lol. I am quite vociferous in the defence of people choosing for themselves and against people making nasty comments about other peoples choices in this instance...its earned me a few less than complimentary asides in my time but I will keep on undeterred | |||
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"trouble is there are people on here who have had problems and have low self esteem which makes them over sensitive a lot of the time. I agree with the over sensitive part as I have been guilty of that I wouldn't say I have problems or low self esteem however there are subjects that I'm passionate about and when I see peoples posts being mean or rude then I'll say something..sometimes it's better to walk away I know it is and I wish I could do that sometimes, especially when it comes to "what's best shaven or natural" It doesn't bother me that question as the difference between the two for me is a few days lol lol. I am quite vociferous in the defence of people choosing for themselves and against people making nasty comments about other peoples choices in this instance...its earned me a few less than complimentary asides in my time but I will keep on undeterred " keep fighting the good fight | |||
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"Shame, the OP seemed like a canny lass from my limited interaction with her. But its the internet, you can't take it too seriously, anyone receiving butthurt from internets shouldn't really be on it. I've been using this forum for over four years and have never seen evidence of cliques. Some people know other people better than some other people. If you stay long enough you will see how these relationships change. If there is a 'clique' it's never the same for more than a few weeks so it isn't really a clique at all. On a lighter note, I don't know if anyone has heard but I'm leaving the site also. More info here, sorry guys... http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/67929 http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/69213 I'm gutted " Sad times indeed Nana, should be any time now | |||
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"No matter what you post, some people will take it the wrong way and be offended/ assume it's about them. Other people will understand the intention behind it. What the fuck do you mean by that??? " | |||
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"trouble is there are people on here who have had problems and have low self esteem which makes them over sensitive a lot of the time. Sensitivity and low self esteem don't necessarily go hand in hand. Personality types deal with different things in different ways. I have quite high self esteem but I am sensitive because of my personality type. Therefore I might feel things that would be ignored, shrugged off or not even noticed by others. " Totally agree with you on this one. I have had to deal with a lot of bad stuff in my life and still am, but its made me a lot stronger person rather than low self esteem. But like you i am a very caring and sensetive person. Which i think is a good trait to have | |||
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"Well i would always be supportive to anyone" I won't. I will always support peoples right to say things, but can not always support their opinions. | |||
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"The trouble is when you get lots of different personalities all fighting for attention on here then no doubt there will be clashes...As far as bullying I haven't witnessed it I just think sometimes people can over do it....I've seen more jesters than bullies.. Maybe bullies was the wrong word to use . But its the gang mentality what winds me up . Takes 1 to turn on someone then the sheep follow . Chill tosh chill " | |||
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"trouble is there are people on here who have had problems and have low self esteem which makes them over sensitive a lot of the time. Sensitivity and low self esteem don't necessarily go hand in hand. Personality types deal with different things in different ways. I have quite high self esteem but I am sensitive because of my personality type. Therefore I might feel things that would be ignored, shrugged off or not even noticed by others. Totally agree with you on this one. I have had to deal with a lot of bad stuff in my life and still am, but its made me a lot stronger person rather than low self esteem. But like you i am a very caring and sensetive person. Which i think is a good trait to have" Of course it's a good trait. But like all strengths we can overdo them too. It also isn't any better than being very logical and objective and rationalising things - just different. "Vive la différence!" | |||
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"Well i would always be supportive to anyone I won't. I will always support peoples right to say things, but can not always support their opinions." | |||
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"Shame, the OP seemed like a canny lass from my limited interaction with her. But its the internet, you can't take it too seriously, anyone receiving butthurt from internets shouldn't really be on it. I've been using this forum for over four years and have never seen evidence of cliques. Some people know other people better than some other people. If you stay long enough you will see how these relationships change. If there is a 'clique' it's never the same for more than a few weeks so it isn't really a clique at all. On a lighter note, I don't know if anyone has heard but I'm leaving the site also. More info here, sorry guys... http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/67929 http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/69213 I'm gutted Sad times indeed Nana, should be any time now " My black mourning garb is ready and waiting | |||
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"I very rarely post in the forums for this reason. I would love to interact more but certain individuals put me off. I think if you dont post often and your face dont fit then you dont get response. A couple of times i have posted a thread and yes some of you was very supportive and nice to me, which i was very greatful of. But since then i have been ignored. This puts me off. Im a full time carer and would love to join is forums as a way of communication and interacting with adults as i dont much at home. But seeing how some of the people are puts me off. Sorry if this offends people but its my opinion of the forums No need to apologise - an opinion is valid regardless of who makes it. I do wonder though that if people feel they are ignored - what is the expectation of posting on a forum? Like anything on site - meets, messages etc, there's no obligation for anyone to read, respond to, or interact with anyone based on a forum post. Plenty of threads hit the dizzy heights of 175. Plenty fall flat on their arse at 1. If someone thinks they're being ignored it may not be personal. It may be the subject of the thread. It may be people have no interest in it, it's been done before or they just have no opinion. Every forum user posted their first comment at some point, or started their first thread. Some use the forums more regularly than others - hence they appear more frequently and post more often and as such may be perceived to be in a clique. Others post less frequently, cherry pick which threads they contribute to and avoid what some see as 'in-crowd' chit- chat, which is usually (note - usually) nothing more than the kind of banter you'd see in the chat rooms, but posted here instead. Regardless of whether people post daily, weekly or once in a blue moon - it's an open forum, publicly on display, got all to use as they wish (within the rules if course!). People who post to seek attention may find it either works in their favour or against them - not due to whether their face fits, but largely due to the nature of their posts. Those that post to simply enjoy banter, ask a question (sensibly and in the right way) or to share info shouldn't feel excluded in any way - and it's often more down to someone not getting the responses (in terms of volume or content) that they expected/desired that creates the feeling of exclusion and negativity. Post with no expectation that all will like what you've written, agree with your opinion or actually want to read what you've typed - and you'll feel no pain. Expect everyone to love you, agree with every word - and that by posting in the forums your life on Fab will be in any way enhanced or that your inbox will suddenly be bursting, your friends list will be bursting and people will be lining up to get jiggy with you - and you'll enjoy a much happier Fab life. It's just words. Nothing more. Nothing less. Just my 2p. A" I thought I was a bona fide thread killer when I first posted, didn t stop me though, | |||
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"Crikey, I fuck off into town for an hour and the thread's nearly full Did anyone want to join my clique or not, you only have to have the ability to post bunkum and balderdash " I up for a bit of balderdash bro | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I very rarely post in the forums for this reason. I would love to interact more but certain individuals put me off. I think if you dont post often and your face dont fit then you dont get response. A couple of times i have posted a thread and yes some of you was very supportive and nice to me, which i was very greatful of. But since then i have been ignored. This puts me off. Im a full time carer and would love to join is forums as a way of communication and interacting with adults as i dont much at home. But seeing how some of the people are puts me off. Sorry if this offends people but its my opinion of the forums No need to apologise - an opinion is valid regardless of who makes it. I do wonder though that if people feel they are ignored - what is the expectation of posting on a forum? Like anything on site - meets, messages etc, there's no obligation for anyone to read, respond to, or interact with anyone based on a forum post. Plenty of threads hit the dizzy heights of 175. Plenty fall flat on their arse at 1. If someone thinks they're being ignored it may not be personal. It may be the subject of the thread. It may be people have no interest in it, it's been done before or they just have no opinion. Every forum user posted their first comment at some point, or started their first thread. Some use the forums more regularly than others - hence they appear more frequently and post more often and as such may be perceived to be in a clique. Others post less frequently, cherry pick which threads they contribute to and avoid what some see as 'in-crowd' chit- chat, which is usually (note - usually) nothing more than the kind of banter you'd see in the chat rooms, but posted here instead. Regardless of whether people post daily, weekly or once in a blue moon - it's an open forum, publicly on display, got all to use as they wish (within the rules if course!). People who post to seek attention may find it either works in their favour or against them - not due to whether their face fits, but largely due to the nature of their posts. Those that post to simply enjoy banter, ask a question (sensibly and in the right way) or to share info shouldn't feel excluded in any way - and it's often more down to someone not getting the responses (in terms of volume or content) that they expected/desired that creates the feeling of exclusion and negativity. Post with no expectation that all will like what you've written, agree with your opinion or actually want to read what you've typed - and you'll feel no pain. Expect everyone to love you, agree with every word - and that by posting in the forums your life on Fab will be in any way enhanced or that your inbox will suddenly be bursting, your friends list will be bursting and people will be lining up to get jiggy with you - and you'll enjoy a much happier Fab life. It's just words. Nothing more. Nothing less. Just my 2p. A I thought I was a bona fide thread killer when I first posted, didn t stop me though, " same here! Shoved on me concrete onesie and still here! | |||
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"I liked TF.....we had a few asides in which she showed herself to be a witty and interesting lady. But leaving a swinging site because a few numpties disagree or say bad things to you is a little extreme. Where is she going to get sex now ? As for the forums...well I spew my opinion onto threads and am mostly ignored. The occasional is given by another lesser known member and I am pleased that there is another enlightened person in the world. I do however make pertinent points that I know would be debated by all, if I was one of the gang. But they fall on deaf eyes in here. Am I bothered?....occasionally. Do I throw my toys ? Of course not....do you know how much wands cost But it is a shame that human (forum) nature is so exclusive. It allows intelligent and pertinent comments to float off into the ether because its originator isn't in with the 'in crowd'. If I was one of those elevated on here....you know who you are.....I would make sure that people who make positive contributions were at least noticed and acknowledged. As for whatever was said to drive TF away; I suppose we will never know, but I find it more than a little disconcerting that certain members are so overt in their 'meh' attitude. I wont go into why I think they contribute to the high attrition rate of this site for fear of retribution. But they do and they know it." Well put | |||
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