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Forum cliques

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Takes away the fun...

I'm done.

Bye!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I find it quite funny meself

Gimp

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By *ce WingerMan  over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"Takes away the fun...

I'm done.

Bye!

"

I was going to invite you to join mine, but alas I'm too late as usual

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Well at least they didn't fanny about waiting a few hours to be UNLOS

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By *odareyouMan  over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

Who said that,?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Who said that,? "

Timeflies

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By *odareyouMan  over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)


"Who said that,?

Timeflies"

Thank you annoys the hell out of me when I don t know who was unlos,

Didn t know the Lady, she seemed to join in the banter

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By *edangel_2013Woman  over a year ago

southend

I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!!

She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums.

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By *histler21Man  over a year ago

Ipswich


"Takes away the fun...

I'm done.

Bye!

"

...says the person who posts and then eaves the site...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!!

She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. "

She was till the the forum bullies all get together

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Realistically if people feel there is a forum clique why use the forums, just stay away, not difficult surely? Unless she either didn't really feel that swinging was for her or she had received some abusive messages

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By *hortieWoman  over a year ago

Northampton

awww

*stands in the corner and forlornly waves goodbye*

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

How do we know it's a she? I can't see mIss or mr UNLOS

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"How do we know it's a she? I can't see mIss or mr UNLOS "

It was a single lady

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"How do we know it's a she? I can't see mIss or mr UNLOS "
Because I know who it was

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Wow.

That is all

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!!

She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together "

Hadn't noticed there were forum bullies on here

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!!

She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together

Hadn't noticed there were forum bullies on here "

Really ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's like cluedo this!

So far I have Cheeky and Tosh in the lounge with a clique

I'll get to the bottom of this !

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!!

She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together

Hadn't noticed there were forum bullies on here "

There isn't as far as I can see. Some people can't seem to stand it when others get on well here and flirt a little.

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By *ce WingerMan  over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"It's like cluedo this!

So far I have Cheeky and Tosh in the lounge with a clique

I'll get to the bottom of this !"

No fecker wants to join my clique

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Unless something has been said to her and I've not noticed it then I feel bad for her feeling the need to leave

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don't think it was due to bullies. More likely some peoples egos and self important attitudes.

I liked TimeFlies, she was good fun.

Shame she's gone.

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By *aceytopWoman  over a year ago

from a town near you


"It's like cluedo this!

So far I have Cheeky and Tosh in the lounge with a clique

I'll get to the bottom of this !

No fecker wants to join my clique "

will be over in ten minutes but I want a special badge with my name on

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!!

She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together "

Did I miss something?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!!

She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together

Did I miss something?"

Will fill you in over a icecream

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By *qua vitaeWoman  over a year ago

Shropshire/Midlands

It amazes me too why people decide to leave, post about it and then delete their profile before we realise who they were...

Doesn't bother me if there's a forum clique. I just like to put me 2 cents in occasionally.

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By *rightonsteveMan  over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"Takes away the fun...

I'm done.

Bye!

"

Easy to blame others and things you have no control over for lack of fab success. Take more personal responsibility and buy a kilo of personality

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!!

She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together

Hadn't noticed there were forum bullies on here "

Give us your lunch money...

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

The trouble is when you get lots of different personalities all fighting for attention on here then no doubt there will be clashes...As far as bullying I haven't witnessed it I just think sometimes people can over do it....I've seen more jesters than bullies..

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I liked Timeflies and I'm sorry she's gone.

Sometimes there does appear to be a clique and sometimes people exhibit behaviour that is bullying and others follow along with it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've found with other forums and to a degree this forum, that some people will express their opinion and take the piss out of anyone else's opinion. I've left many forums for this reason almost this one too

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By *rightonsteveMan  over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I don't consider my comment to be bullyish but I don't think there's a clique and I also think people who swing could have more resilience. I don't believe that 'forum clique' is the sole reason why she left. I am interested to know the thread where the 'bullying' took place though if anyone knows.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The trouble is when you get lots of different personalities all fighting for attention on here then no doubt there will be clashes...As far as bullying I haven't witnessed it I just think sometimes people can over do it....I've seen more jesters than bullies.. "
Maybe bullies was the wrong word to use . But its the gang mentality what winds me up . Takes 1 to turn on someone then the sheep follow . Chill tosh chill

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By *rightonsteveMan  over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Maybe my 'kilo of personality' comment was ill thought through.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You say yes, I say no

You say stop and I say go go go, oh no

You say goodbye and I say hello

Hello hello

I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello

Hello hello

I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello.

*waves*

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"I don't consider my comment to be bullyish but I don't think there's a clique and I also think people who swing could have more resilience. I don't believe that 'forum clique' is the sole reason why she left. I am interested to know the thread where the 'bullying' took place though if anyone knows. "

Well the word clique was used by said now non member on the body size thread after just one person backed me up! A clique of two it seems lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The trouble is when you get lots of different personalities all fighting for attention on here then no doubt there will be clashes...As far as bullying I haven't witnessed it I just think sometimes people can over do it....I've seen more jesters than bullies.. Maybe bullies was the wrong word to use . But its the gang mentality what winds me up . Takes 1 to turn on someone then the sheep follow . Chill tosh chill "

I agree tosh. But sadly most forums are the same

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't consider my comment to be bullyish but I don't think there's a clique and I also think people who swing could have more resilience. I don't believe that 'forum clique' is the sole reason why she left. I am interested to know the thread where the 'bullying' took place though if anyone knows.

Well the word clique was used by said now non member on the body size thread after just one person backed me up! A clique of two it seems lol "

Or it could be another thread

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"I don't consider my comment to be bullyish but I don't think there's a clique and I also think people who swing could have more resilience. I don't believe that 'forum clique' is the sole reason why she left. I am interested to know the thread where the 'bullying' took place though if anyone knows.

Well the word clique was used by said now non member on the body size thread after just one person backed me up! A clique of two it seems lol Or it could be another thread "

Lol possibly

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't consider my comment to be bullyish but I don't think there's a clique and I also think people who swing could have more resilience. I don't believe that 'forum clique' is the sole reason why she left. I am interested to know the thread where the 'bullying' took place though if anyone knows.

Well the word clique was used by said now non member on the body size thread after just one person backed me up! A clique of two it seems lol Or it could be another thread "

Married thread?

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"The trouble is when you get lots of different personalities all fighting for attention on here then no doubt there will be clashes...As far as bullying I haven't witnessed it I just think sometimes people can over do it....I've seen more jesters than bullies.. Maybe bullies was the wrong word to use . But its the gang mentality what winds me up . Takes 1 to turn on someone then the sheep follow . Chill tosh chill "

What you say is right it can be seen almost daily.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I'd like one day when we can all just get on...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'd like one day when we can all just get on... "
yeah . On fab and in the world . But unfortunately it will never happen Cheeky . Nice thought though

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The trouble is when you get lots of different personalities all fighting for attention on here then no doubt there will be clashes...As far as bullying I haven't witnessed it I just think sometimes people can over do it....I've seen more jesters than bullies.. Maybe bullies was the wrong word to use . But its the gang mentality what winds me up . Takes 1 to turn on someone then the sheep follow . Chill tosh chill

What you say is right it can be seen almost daily. "

Yep

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Aw that's a shame. I liked that lady , she used to make me laugh with some of her comments . Maybe she'll be back . I hope so.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would say there was a clash of opinions on the body thread and on the married one she did mention she wasn't sure if she was welcome anymore on the site...to which I replied don't worry about what others think.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

This forum has changed over the years...old people have gone, new people have arrived...I had a better time on here a few years ago but we can't live in the past and times evolve.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'd like one day when we can all just get on... "

I don't think it's a case of all getting on, it's a Forum and people debate. Sometimes it get's heated and sometimes people can be sarcastic and rude and to be fair I did read a few of the OP's comments yesterday and she was guilty of that herself.

I've had a few spiteful comments aimed at me in the past and I've just though 'sod this' and kept away from the Forums for a while.

Not everyone on here is thick skinned and some comments can be hurtful BUT no one is forced to use or take part in the Forums

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!!

She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together

Hadn't noticed there were forum bullies on here "

I certainly had... after a year of posting on here on and off I had to grow some tougher skin to learn to enjoy it again. Forums are mostly fun but there sure are a few hyper critical regular posters and they seem to be well accepted into the forum fold. Not sure it is a clique but have seen some very mean spirited people well defended here.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The trouble is when you get lots of different personalities all fighting for attention on here then no doubt there will be clashes...As far as bullying I haven't witnessed it I just think sometimes people can over do it....I've seen more jesters than bullies.. Maybe bullies was the wrong word to use . But its the gang mentality what winds me up . Takes 1 to turn on someone then the sheep follow . Chill tosh chill

What you say is right it can be seen almost daily. "

It's also evident at times when people comment directly to a previous poster.....certain people are answered evertime and others are ignored outright by the poster, almost avoided.

Party threads are rife with this phenomenon

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I stand at the gate waiting to be invited to join in . God it cold out here please let me become one of your select group of people .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I wouldn't say any bullying went on but there are a couple of users who when they comment on a thread, you just know its going to get heated, almost as if they get off on stirring things up and being awkward.

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By *andWCouple  over a year ago

Pontypridd


"This forum has changed over the years...old people have gone, new people have arrived...I had a better time on here a few years ago but we can't live in the past and times evolve. "

I've found it's been the same for years, different people but cliques and ganging up x

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"I'd like one day when we can all just get on...

I don't think it's a case of all getting on, it's a Forum and people debate. Sometimes it get's heated and sometimes people can be sarcastic and rude and to be fair I did read a few of the OP's comments yesterday and she was guilty of that herself.

I've had a few spiteful comments aimed at me in the past and I've just though 'sod this' and kept away from the Forums for a while.

Not everyone on here is thick skinned and some comments can be hurtful BUT no one is forced to use or take part in the Forums "

Very true legs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'd like one day when we can all just get on...

I don't think it's a case of all getting on, it's a Forum and people debate. Sometimes it get's heated and sometimes people can be sarcastic and rude and to be fair I did read a few of the OP's comments yesterday and she was guilty of that herself.

I've had a few spiteful comments aimed at me in the past and I've just though 'sod this' and kept away from the Forums for a while.

Not everyone on here is thick skinned and some comments can be hurtful BUT no one is forced to use or take part in the Forums

Very true legs "

oh I forgot to mention I still wish for World Peace

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By *iverpool LoverMan  over a year ago

liverpool

Couldn't agree more with toshn and couple other posters here.

I don't post much myself for the same reasons.

There is too many overflated egos and self importance people here and every other forum I've ever been on.

I seen a few of timeflys posts and she seemed a rather nice person to me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'd like one day when we can all just get on...

I don't think it's a case of all getting on, it's a Forum and people debate. Sometimes it get's heated and sometimes people can be sarcastic and rude and to be fair I did read a few of the OP's comments yesterday and she was guilty of that herself.

I've had a few spiteful comments aimed at me in the past and I've just though 'sod this' and kept away from the Forums for a while.

Not everyone on here is thick skinned and some comments can be hurtful BUT no one is forced to use or take part in the Forums "

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"I'd like one day when we can all just get on...

I don't think it's a case of all getting on, it's a Forum and people debate. Sometimes it get's heated and sometimes people can be sarcastic and rude and to be fair I did read a few of the OP's comments yesterday and she was guilty of that herself.

I've had a few spiteful comments aimed at me in the past and I've just though 'sod this' and kept away from the Forums for a while.

Not everyone on here is thick skinned and some comments can be hurtful BUT no one is forced to use or take part in the Forums

Very true legs

oh I forgot to mention I still wish for World Peace "

Right now a shag would do me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'd like one day when we can all just get on...

I don't think it's a case of all getting on, it's a Forum and people debate. Sometimes it get's heated and sometimes people can be sarcastic and rude and to be fair I did read a few of the OP's comments yesterday and she was guilty of that herself.

I've had a few spiteful comments aimed at me in the past and I've just though 'sod this' and kept away from the Forums for a while.

Not everyone on here is thick skinned and some comments can be hurtful BUT no one is forced to use or take part in the Forums

Very true legs

oh I forgot to mention I still wish for World Peace

Right now a shag would do me "

Ha ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Thia thread would have been very different had the OP not been a single female.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!!

She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together

Hadn't noticed there were forum bullies on here

I certainly had... after a year of posting on here on and off I had to grow some tougher skin to learn to enjoy it again. Forums are mostly fun but there sure are a few hyper critical regular posters and they seem to be well accepted into the forum fold. Not sure it is a clique but have seen some very mean spirited people well defended here. "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!!

She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together

Did I miss something? Will fill you in over a icecream "

And me?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Some people just take this far too seriously. ....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Why leave the site though? Surely just stop using the forums?

Sounds a bit like a Queenie fit to me. And I've got copyright on them so she owes me.

If she was a single guy she'd be back on by now anyway under a different username.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Some people just take this far too seriously. ...."

And some people take themselves too seriously....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Thia thread would have been very different had the OP not been a single female. "
why would you say that ? ??? We are expressing our opinion on what goes on in forums . Not about the sex of the person . I do admire you for your honest unbiased opinions on most posts . But this one is not one of your better ones

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Some people just take this far too seriously. ....

And some people take themselves too seriously.... "

Because some people have feelings

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Awwwww that's a shame

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Some people just take this far too seriously. ....

And some people take themselves too seriously.... Because some people have feelings "

Are you saying I don't have feelings?

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By *iverpool LoverMan  over a year ago

liverpool


"Why leave the site though? Surely just stop using the forums?

Sounds a bit like a Queenie fit to me. And I've got copyright on them so she owes me.

If she was a single guy she'd be back on by now anyway under a different username. "

because not everyone uses the site to meet, maybe her escapism was through trying to have fun and chat via the forums.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Thia thread would have been very different had the OP not been a single female. why would you say that ? ??? We are expressing our opinion on what goes on in forums . Not about the sex of the person . I do admire you for your honest unbiased opinions on most posts . But this one is not one of your better ones "

Tosh it would of been different you would of got the close the door behind you comments etc

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!!

She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together "

Seriously? I was on the forums last night,she seemed to be grumpy at everything,Id enjoyed her posts but maybe she'd had a bad day,I hadn't seen any bullying at all

Anyway if you're reading timeflies....take care and maybe see you back again x

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By *iverpool LoverMan  over a year ago

liverpool


"Thia thread would have been very different had the OP not been a single female. "

It wouldnt matter if the poster was a single guy,single women or single tv/ts or a little green alien.

id have still agreed with a few posters that see the forums as not the friendly open mindedness people would like to think.

This forum can be very hostile when it wants to be and it always seems to be the same people that are the culprits.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Its a bit OTT leaving the site for this reaaon. More to it than meets the eye???

Would have been far simpler to avoid the forum.

#justmyopinion

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Some people just take this far too seriously. ....

And some people take themselves too seriously.... Because some people have feelings "

Just because we don't splatter them all over the forum doesn't mean we don't have feelings...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Thia thread would have been very different had the OP not been a single female. why would you say that ? ??? We are expressing our opinion on what goes on in forums . Not about the sex of the person . I do admire you for your honest unbiased opinions on most posts . But this one is not one of your better ones "

I agree with crystal, if it was a single man there wouldn't be a discussion as to why it would just be full of people saying bye

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

In the social sciences, a clique is a group of "persons who interact with each other more regularly and intensely than others in the same setting".

If the context of the definition above, do I think there are Cliques on here? Yes, absolutely. That's neither a negative or positive view - but rather an objective one.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The forums can sometimes be hostile,but by the same token they can be supportive,informative and hilariously funny

They are not all bad news

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Some people just take this far too seriously. ....

And some people take themselves too seriously.... Because some people have feelings

Are you saying I don't have feelings?"

never said that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Who said that,?

Timeflies"

Noooo

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!!

She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together

Hadn't noticed there were forum bullies on here

Give us your lunch money...

"

We're not allowed to pay for sex on here

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!!

She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together

Hadn't noticed there were forum bullies on here

Give us your lunch money...

We're not allowed to pay for sex on here "

Hahaha that proper made me laugh

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Some people just take this far too seriously. ....

And some people take themselves too seriously.... Because some people have feelings

Just because we don't splatter them all over the forum doesn't mean we don't have feelings..."

can't remember saying you did not

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The forums can sometimes be hostile,but by the same token they can be supportive,informative and hilariously funny

They are not all bad news "

I would agree with this but don't want to be seen as cliquish.....

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"Thia thread would have been very different had the OP not been a single female. why would you say that ? ??? We are expressing our opinion on what goes on in forums . Not about the sex of the person . I do admire you for your honest unbiased opinions on most posts . But this one is not one of your better ones

Tosh it would of been different you would of got the close the door behind you comments etc "

Absolutely!! Anyojw who.thinks there isn't a divide between.responses to men and responses to women are very blinkered!!

As for bullies, yes they exist but in my experience (personal experience) they are posters who lurk, circling the forums looking for their prey. They are infrequent posters and once one of them posts the.others soon smell blood and.flock to back up their mate.

I don't think any of the regular posters exhibit bullying behaviours. Maybe they have seen a thread repeat one too many times and si put a curt reply on bit then they should learn to move away from the.thread if they don't like it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Some people just take this far too seriously. ....

And some people take themselves too seriously.... Because some people have feelings

Just because we don't splatter them all over the forum doesn't mean we don't have feelings... can't remember saying you did not "

and I can't remember saying you did. .....

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"Thia thread would have been very different had the OP not been a single female. why would you say that ? ??? We are expressing our opinion on what goes on in forums . Not about the sex of the person . I do admire you for your honest unbiased opinions on most posts . But this one is not one of your better ones

Tosh it would of been different you would of got the close the door behind you comments etc "

Absolutely!! Anyone whothinks there isn't a divide between.responses to men and responses to women are very blinkered!!

As for bullies, yes they exist but in my experience (personal experience) they are posters who lurk, circling the forums looking for their prey. They are infrequent posters and once one of them posts the.others soon smell blood and.flock to back up their mate.

I don't think any of the regular posters exhibit bullying behaviours. Maybe they have seen a thread repeat one too many times and si put a curt reply on bit then they should learn to move away from the.thread if they don't like it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

At the end of the day internet bullying only works if the recipient allows it, most of us have been guilty of getting peoples back up at some point but heyho thats life.

Deep Gimp

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Some people just take this far too seriously. ....

And some people take themselves too seriously.... "

Oh

. Telling people they're wrong to feel a certain way in response to perceived unkindness is very unkind in itself.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have seen what I think could be called cyber bullying. Ganging up on someone to take the piss or to hammer home an opposing view in an aggressive or insulting way could be viewed as bullying. Intimidating another poster knowing you will be supported by friends could also be construed as cyber - bullying.

As others have said a thick skin is required on public forums or at least knowing how to play the game. Everyone has different levels of sensitivity to different things.

One prevalent feeling relative newcomers have is feeling excluded or 'bullied' by groups of forumites. It's inevitable as strong bonds have been developed amongst social groupings over the years and it can appear to be difficult to break in.

I liked Timeflies and I'll miss her all too short contribution

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Thia thread would have been very different had the OP not been a single female. why would you say that ? ??? We are expressing our opinion on what goes on in forums . Not about the sex of the person . I do admire you for your honest unbiased opinions on most posts . But this one is not one of your better ones "

I disagree. Whenever men post an I'm leaving thread there's usually comments like "don't let the door hit you" etc. But none of that here.

I suspect mainly because most men usually whinge that's it's due to lack of meetings or tinewasters and give 2 days notice. At least she just went.

But saying it's because of cliques is a bit daft. There are people here who dont like other people here, which is to be expected, but I've never seen any cliques, covens or bullying.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think this thread has made some of the worst offenders a little defensive. .. just my opinion

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"At the end of the day internet bullying only works if the recipient allows it, most of us have been guilty of getting peoples back up at some point but heyho thats life.

Deep Gimp"

I have to disagree there Gimp, saying someone allows it is passing the blame from the perpetrators to the victims.

I understand partly what you say in that if something is upsetting you should just walk away but that doesn't excuse of absolve the initial behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The forums can sometimes be hostile,but by the same token they can be supportive,informative and hilariously funny

They are not all bad news

I would agree with this but don't want to be seen as cliquish..... "

For gawds sake just start a row will you,I want all my forum friends to swoop in and back me up.....if I had any that is!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think this thread has made some of the worst offenders a little defensive. .. just my opinion "

Its posts like this that fuel the flames,if you think someone us a bully just be an adult,say who you think it is and back that accusation up so they can either hold their hands up or defend themselves

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Some people just take this far too seriously. ....

And some people take themselves too seriously.... Because some people have feelings

Are you saying I don't have feelings? never said that "

I was only joking. I have sense of humour. x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"At the end of the day internet bullying only works if the recipient allows it, most of us have been guilty of getting peoples back up at some point but heyho thats life.

Deep Gimp

I have to disagree there Gimp, saying someone allows it is passing the blame from the perpetrators to the victims.

I understand partly what you say in that if something is upsetting you should just walk away but that doesn't excuse of absolve the initial behaviour."

And for once i agree, It absolves nothing maybe its because of my thick skin but i cannot take anyones snide remarks seriously if its obvious they wouldnt say it to my face

Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

this is just our opinion but we see the same 6-7 people posting on alot of forum threads and some people can see that as a clique and it may intimidate them as they may feel like it is a fit in or get off kind of thing. We felt that way at first. We comment on threads that catch our interest and thats about it for us. whether it is a clique or not, the closeness of the community on here may put some people off

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By *odareyouMan  over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

Well someones has stuck a on a couple of my pictures I m going to invite them into my clique,

anyone can join just needs a

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think this thread has made some of the worst offenders a little defensive. .. just my opinion

Its posts like this that fuel the flames,if you think someone us a bully just be an adult,say who you think it is and back that accusation up so they can either hold their hands up or defend themselves "

But would that not also be bullying? Ahhh, we're caught in a forum paradox again!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think this thread has made some of the worst offenders a little defensive. .. just my opinion

Its posts like this that fuel the flames,if you think someone us a bully just be an adult,say who you think it is and back that accusation up so they can either hold their hands up or defend themselves "

That's really low. Insinuating some people on here are adults...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think this thread has made some of the worst offenders a little defensive. .. just my opinion

Its posts like this that fuel the flames,if you think someone us a bully just be an adult,say who you think it is and back that accusation up so they can either hold their hands up or defend themselves

But would that not also be bullying? Ahhh, we're caught in a forum paradox again! "

I need more coffee

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"At the end of the day internet bullying only works if the recipient allows it, most of us have been guilty of getting peoples back up at some point but heyho thats life.

Deep Gimp

I have to disagree there Gimp, saying someone allows it is passing the blame from the perpetrators to the victims.

I understand partly what you say in that if something is upsetting you should just walk away but that doesn't excuse of absolve the initial behaviour.

And for once i agree, It absolves nothing maybe its because of my thick skin but i cannot take anyones snide remarks seriously if its obvious they wouldnt say it to my face

Gimp"

Damn! I had some of my best insults saved up for you.

I have had some pretty nasty comments thrown at me and when I've objected been told I clearly have no sense of humour but I don't care either. Not everyone has rhino hide like us though.

Are you saying you don't very often agree with me? Bloody cheek, I'm ALWAYS right

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think this thread has made some of the worst offenders a little defensive. .. just my opinion

Its posts like this that fuel the flames,if you think someone us a bully just be an adult,say who you think it is and back that accusation up so they can either hold their hands up or defend themselves

But would that not also be bullying? Ahhh, we're caught in a forum paradox again! "

Can win for losing it seems. I am sure naming and shaming is a brilliant idea... not

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think this thread has made some of the worst offenders a little defensive. .. just my opinion

Its posts like this that fuel the flames,if you think someone us a bully just be an adult,say who you think it is and back that accusation up so they can either hold their hands up or defend themselves

That's really low. Insinuating some people on here are adults... "

I really didn't think that through did I?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Guess it's like most walks in life... People tend to, gravitate towards, people they 'click' with, and share banter with. Unfortunately their banter is sometimes miscontrewed, by say perhaps, less known members. People also tend to forget some people, have actually met in 'real' life, and have formed firm friendships, and this continues on here... To the newbie, perhaps maybe they can feel a little excluded, or even picked on when banter really starts... Flowing. We've all been new at some point.. And it's not always easy. Sometimes quiet people sit back... It's just their nature! I jumped in with both feet..but not all can do this... I've upset a few, and had a couple of spats! I'm a sarky bint by nature... Sometimes people don't get it... it's a shame

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By *rightonsteveMan  over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Regular forum posters will be aware I have been on a rare occasion, less than generous with my comments so I'd like to do a Monday morning apology if anyone reading this has felt less than exalted if they've read one of my posts.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"At the end of the day internet bullying only works if the recipient allows it, most of us have been guilty of getting peoples back up at some point but heyho thats life.

Deep Gimp

I have to disagree there Gimp, saying someone allows it is passing the blame from the perpetrators to the victims.

I understand partly what you say in that if something is upsetting you should just walk away but that doesn't excuse of absolve the initial behaviour.

And for once i agree, It absolves nothing maybe its because of my thick skin but i cannot take anyones snide remarks seriously if its obvious they wouldnt say it to my face

Gimp"

yer don't scare me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'd like one day when we can all just get on... "

Yeah but when people do get along. Along come the people moaning about arse-licking

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"At the end of the day internet bullying only works if the recipient allows it, most of us have been guilty of getting peoples back up at some point but heyho thats life.

Deep Gimp

I have to disagree there Gimp, saying someone allows it is passing the blame from the perpetrators to the victims.

I understand partly what you say in that if something is upsetting you should just walk away but that doesn't excuse of absolve the initial behaviour.

And for once i agree, It absolves nothing maybe its because of my thick skin but i cannot take anyones snide remarks seriously if its obvious they wouldnt say it to my face

Gimp yer don't scare me "

Me either pud em up

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Thia thread would have been very different had the OP not been a single female. why would you say that ? ??? We are expressing our opinion on what goes on in forums . Not about the sex of the person . I do admire you for your honest unbiased opinions on most posts . But this one is not one of your better ones

Tosh it would of been different you would of got the close the door behind you comments etc "

This is exactly the point that I was making. Only this weekend a thread got closed by the mods as all the response to a couple anannouncing they were leaving were abusive.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"I'd like one day when we can all just get on...

Yeah but when people do get along. Along come the people moaning about arse-licking"

Then you are fucked either way then...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's sad when this happens, but in my opinion it does happen. It's a very big contributing factor to why i post on the forums less, and when i do post i rarely return to the thread to read further comments. I felt myself being drawn in to things and at times posting in ways that i wouldn't normally. Now i mostly read for the entertainment and stop reading if i see the thread getting angsty.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/07/14 08:52:52]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think this thread has made some of the worst offenders a little defensive. .. just my opinion

Its posts like this that fuel the flames,if you think someone us a bully just be an adult,say who you think it is and back that accusation up so they can either hold their hands up or defend themselves

But would that not also be bullying? Ahhh, we're caught in a forum paradox again! "

A PM (assuming you are not blocked) to someone confronting a behaviour you find an unacceptable is not necessarily bullying. Public confrontation is high risk and may well lead to some of the behaviour being discussed.

Game playing with the drama triangle with roles of victims, persecutors and rescuers is very common on the forum as so much stuff gets played out in public.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS  over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Shouldn't she have asked for written permission from the clique to leave, first? Most irregular otherwise.

Shame she's gone, as she seemed fairly decent. I can't say I've found there to be a clique, but then I'm that oblivious, I'd probably say good morning to a T-Rex and walk on by before wondering what was different that morning and why the quality of busker has improved.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think this thread has made some of the worst offenders a little defensive. .. just my opinion

Its posts like this that fuel the flames,if you think someone us a bully just be an adult,say who you think it is and back that accusation up so they can either hold their hands up or defend themselves

But would that not also be bullying? Ahhh, we're caught in a forum paradox again!

Can win for losing it seems. I am sure naming and shaming is a brilliant idea... not "

Then report people rather than making comments like that.

We can't all get along. We can't all agree with everything. Sone threads get heated. Non of that is bullying though

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Regular forum posters will be aware I have been on a rare occasion, less than generous with my comments so I'd like to do a Monday morning apology if anyone reading this has felt less than exalted if they've read one of my posts. "

I doubt anyone would class you as a bully Steve. I think this is about the people who home in on the vulnerable and if they spot a weakness point it out with glee.

We have all grown impatient with people at times.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I very rarely post in the forums for this reason. I would love to interact more but certain individuals put me off. I think if you dont post often and your face dont fit then you dont get response.

A couple of times i have posted a thread and yes some of you was very supportive and nice to me, which i was very greatful of. But since then i have been ignored. This puts me off. Im a full time carer and would love to join is forums as a way of communication and interacting with adults as i dont much at home. But seeing how some of the people are puts me off. Sorry if this offends people but its my opinion of the forums

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I'd like one day when we can all just get on...

Yeah but when people do get along. Along come the people moaning about arse-licking

Then you are fucked either way then... "

So true of life in general

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think this thread has made some of the worst offenders a little defensive. .. just my opinion

Its posts like this that fuel the flames,if you think someone us a bully just be an adult,say who you think it is and back that accusation up so they can either hold their hands up or defend themselves

But would that not also be bullying? Ahhh, we're caught in a forum paradox again!

Can win for losing it seems. I am sure naming and shaming is a brilliant idea... not

Then report people rather than making comments like that.

We can't all get along. We can't all agree with everything. Sone threads get heated. Non of that is bullying though"

As everyone is so quick to point out.. I am allowed my opinion.. also. I think my point has been proven. ~Seareena

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Steve is cool. He stuck up for me last week.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"One prevalent feeling relative newcomers have is feeling excluded or 'bullied' by groups of forumites. It's inevitable as strong bonds have been developed amongst social groupings over the years and it can appear to be difficult to break in.

"

Is that not the case witg every internet forum ever? Its hardly a new phenomenon and certainly not unique to here

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By *risky_MareWoman  over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Regular forum posters will be aware I have been on a rare occasion, less than generous with my comments so I'd like to do a Monday morning apology if anyone reading this has felt less than exalted if they've read one of my posts.

I doubt anyone would class you as a bully Steve. I think this is about the people who home in on the vulnerable and if they spot a weakness point it out with glee.

We have all grown impatient with people at times."

And I think this forum is full of vulnerable people and brings out the worst in many.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I very rarely post in the forums for this reason. I would love to interact more but certain individuals put me off. I think if you dont post often and your face dont fit then you dont get response.

A couple of times i have posted a thread and yes some of you was very supportive and nice to me, which i was very greatful of. But since then i have been ignored. This puts me off. Im a full time carer and would love to join is forums as a way of communication and interacting with adults as i dont much at home. But seeing how some of the people are puts me off. Sorry if this offends people but its my opinion of the forums"

I feel a little sad when I read a post like this. I hope you join in more and feel more included in future

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think some times some people are all to quick to judge others.

So sme ppl get on together better than onthers, respond to some posters comments whilst seemngly ignoring others, agree more readily with certain ppl. That is life.

Might look like a clique but ppl will either make an effort to get involved or not. Get upset by it or not. Each to their own.

People who set out to perpously exclude or bully others will read all this, take no notice and carry on the way they are

Ultimately we all decide where our own tolerance for this ends.

Personally id rather just spend my time with those who can discuss / debate a topic, have a laugh and flirt. Rather than worrying if im in the ' in crowd '

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"One prevalent feeling relative newcomers have is feeling excluded or 'bullied' by groups of forumites. It's inevitable as strong bonds have been developed amongst social groupings over the years and it can appear to be difficult to break in.

Is that not the case witg every internet forum ever? Its hardly a new phenomenon and certainly not unique to here"

I wasn't suggesting it was unique. But I am on this forum and I feel sad that people who have something to contribute feel excluded.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Regular forum posters will be aware I have been on a rare occasion, less than generous with my comments so I'd like to do a Monday morning apology if anyone reading this has felt less than exalted if they've read one of my posts.

I doubt anyone would class you as a bully Steve. I think this is about the people who home in on the vulnerable and if they spot a weakness point it out with glee.

We have all grown impatient with people at times.

And I think this forum is full of vulnerable people and brings out the worst in many.

"

I do sometimes think that some topics shared show a vulnerability and/or naivety that makes me cringe about what is being shared.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If you have not been using the forums long it's very easy to fall into the clique trap.

Did the OP take a difference in point of view personally perhaps?

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Regular forum posters will be aware I have been on a rare occasion, less than generous with my comments so I'd like to do a Monday morning apology if anyone reading this has felt less than exalted if they've read one of my posts.

I doubt anyone would class you as a bully Steve. I think this is about the people who home in on the vulnerable and if they spot a weakness point it out with glee.

We have all grown impatient with people at times.

And I think this forum is full of vulnerable people and brings out the worst in many.

"

The world is full of vulnerable people, the less vulnerable have a choice to support, ignore or belittle.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Regular forum posters will be aware I have been on a rare occasion, less than generous with my comments so I'd like to do a Monday morning apology if anyone reading this has felt less than exalted if they've read one of my posts.

I doubt anyone would class you as a bully Steve. I think this is about the people who home in on the vulnerable and if they spot a weakness point it out with glee.

We have all grown impatient with people at times.

And I think this forum is full of vulnerable people and brings out the worst in many.

The world is full of vulnerable people, the less vulnerable have a choice to support, ignore or belittle. "

I know which I choice I'd rather make

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Regular forum posters will be aware I have been on a rare occasion, less than generous with my comments so I'd like to do a Monday morning apology if anyone reading this has felt less than exalted if they've read one of my posts.

I doubt anyone would class you as a bully Steve. I think this is about the people who home in on the vulnerable and if they spot a weakness point it out with glee.

We have all grown impatient with people at times.

And I think this forum is full of vulnerable people and brings out the worst in many.

The world is full of vulnerable people, the less vulnerable have a choice to support, ignore or belittle.

I know which I choice I'd rather make "

Me too....let's go and get 'em all

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I very rarely post in the forums for this reason. I would love to interact more but certain individuals put me off. I think if you dont post often and your face dont fit then you dont get response.

A couple of times i have posted a thread and yes some of you was very supportive and nice to me, which i was very greatful of. But since then i have been ignored. This puts me off. Im a full time carer and would love to join is forums as a way of communication and interacting with adults as i dont much at home. But seeing how some of the people are puts me off. Sorry if this offends people but its my opinion of the forums"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

UNLOS, the ultimate clique.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Regular forum posters will be aware I have been on a rare occasion, less than generous with my comments so I'd like to do a Monday morning apology if anyone reading this has felt less than exalted if they've read one of my posts.

I doubt anyone would class you as a bully Steve. I think this is about the people who home in on the vulnerable and if they spot a weakness point it out with glee.

We have all grown impatient with people at times.

And I think this forum is full of vulnerable people and brings out the worst in many.

The world is full of vulnerable people, the less vulnerable have a choice to support, ignore or belittle.

I know which I choice I'd rather make "

wish these forums had a like button

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think this thread has made some of the worst offenders a little defensive. .. just my opinion

Its posts like this that fuel the flames,if you think someone us a bully just be an adult,say who you think it is and back that accusation up so they can either hold their hands up or defend themselves

But would that not also be bullying? Ahhh, we're caught in a forum paradox again!

Can win for losing it seems. I am sure naming and shaming is a brilliant idea... not

Then report people rather than making comments like that.

We can't all get along. We can't all agree with everything. Sone threads get heated. Non of that is bullying though

As everyone is so quick to point out.. I am allowed my opinion.. also. I think my point has been proven. ~Seareena "

No point has been proved at all from what I can see

Anyway suns out im off work and im going to enjoy my day

Ill let the cyclical forum clique debate trundle on as it has done for the 6 yrs ive been here

If anyone thinks im a bully feel free to inbox me with details and posts thanks,im happy to debate,the same way that im happy to say in public if I feel someone is being unfair on the forums,nothing underhand with me

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By *unky monkeyMan  over a year ago

in the night garden

Shame, the OP seemed like a canny lass from my limited interaction with her.

But its the internet, you can't take it too seriously, anyone receiving butthurt from internets shouldn't really be on it.

I've been using this forum for over four years and have never seen evidence of cliques. Some people know other people better than some other people. If you stay long enough you will see how these relationships change. If there is a 'clique' it's never the same for more than a few weeks so it isn't really a clique at all.

On a lighter note, I don't know if anyone has heard but I'm leaving the site also.

More info here, sorry guys...

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/67929

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/69213

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Regular forum posters will be aware I have been on a rare occasion, less than generous with my comments so I'd like to do a Monday morning apology if anyone reading this has felt less than exalted if they've read one of my posts.

I doubt anyone would class you as a bully Steve. I think this is about the people who home in on the vulnerable and if they spot a weakness point it out with glee.

We have all grown impatient with people at times.

And I think this forum is full of vulnerable people and brings out the worst in many.

The world is full of vulnerable people, the less vulnerable have a choice to support, ignore or belittle.

I know which I choice I'd rather make "

Well i would always be supportive to anyone

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No matter what you post, some people will take it the wrong way and be offended/ assume it's about them.

Other people will understand the intention behind it.

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By *unky monkeyMan  over a year ago

in the night garden


"No matter what you post, some people will take it the wrong way and be offended/ assume it's about them.

Other people will understand the intention behind it.

"

What the fuck do you mean by that???

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!!

She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together

Hadn't noticed there were forum bullies on here Really ? "

Yes, really. It's obvious that there are a lot of people here that get on really well and have "in" jokes etc. But never noticed bullying.I've always found most to be really nice.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I very rarely post in the forums for this reason. I would love to interact more but certain individuals put me off. I think if you dont post often and your face dont fit then you dont get response.

A couple of times i have posted a thread and yes some of you was very supportive and nice to me, which i was very greatful of. But since then i have been ignored. This puts me off. Im a full time carer and would love to join is forums as a way of communication and interacting with adults as i dont much at home. But seeing how some of the people are puts me off. Sorry if this offends people but its my opinion of the forums"

I am also a carer and love the interaction of this site. Don't let anyone make you feel unwelcome. If some people drive you mad, which we all must do to someone, sometimes. Ignore them and talk to others that don't

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I very rarely post in the forums for this reason. I would love to interact more but certain individuals put me off. I think if you dont post often and your face dont fit then you dont get response.

A couple of times i have posted a thread and yes some of you was very supportive and nice to me, which i was very greatful of. But since then i have been ignored. This puts me off. Im a full time carer and would love to join is forums as a way of communication and interacting with adults as i dont much at home. But seeing how some of the people are puts me off. Sorry if this offends people but its my opinion of the forums

I am also a carer and love the interaction of this site. Don't let anyone make you feel unwelcome. If some people drive you mad, which we all must do to someone, sometimes. Ignore them and talk to others that don't "

Thank you

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I very rarely post in the forums for this reason. I would love to interact more but certain individuals put me off. I think if you dont post often and your face dont fit then you dont get response.

A couple of times i have posted a thread and yes some of you was very supportive and nice to me, which i was very greatful of. But since then i have been ignored. This puts me off. Im a full time carer and would love to join is forums as a way of communication and interacting with adults as i dont much at home. But seeing how some of the people are puts me off. Sorry if this offends people but its my opinion of the forums

I am also a carer and love the interaction of this site. Don't let anyone make you feel unwelcome. If some people drive you mad, which we all must do to someone, sometimes. Ignore them and talk to others that don't "

Ignore. Great advice. If I feel someone is being condescending or patronising I think pity the fool and move on. Or I just read the comments and laugh at their high handedness

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I very rarely post in the forums for this reason. I would love to interact more but certain individuals put me off. I think if you dont post often and your face dont fit then you dont get response.

A couple of times i have posted a thread and yes some of you was very supportive and nice to me, which i was very greatful of. But since then i have been ignored. This puts me off. Im a full time carer and would love to join is forums as a way of communication and interacting with adults as i dont much at home. But seeing how some of the people are puts me off. Sorry if this offends people but its my opinion of the forums "

No need to apologise - an opinion is valid regardless of who makes it.

I do wonder though that if people feel they are ignored - what is the expectation of posting on a forum?

Like anything on site - meets, messages etc, there's no obligation for anyone to read, respond to, or interact with anyone based on a forum post.

Plenty of threads hit the dizzy heights of 175. Plenty fall flat on their arse at 1. If someone thinks they're being ignored it may not be personal. It may be the subject of the thread. It may be people have no interest in it, it's been done before or they just have no opinion.

Every forum user posted their first comment at some point, or started their first thread. Some use the forums more regularly than others - hence they appear more frequently and post more often and as such may be perceived to be in a clique. Others post less frequently, cherry pick which threads they contribute to and avoid what some see as 'in-crowd' chit- chat, which is usually (note - usually) nothing more than the kind of banter you'd see in the chat rooms, but posted here instead.

Regardless of whether people post daily, weekly or once in a blue moon - it's an open forum, publicly on display, got all to use as they wish (within the rules if course!). People who post to seek attention may find it either works in their favour or against them - not due to whether their face fits, but largely due to the nature of their posts. Those that post to simply enjoy banter, ask a question (sensibly and in the right way) or to share info shouldn't feel excluded in any way - and it's often more down to someone not getting the responses (in terms of volume or content) that they expected/desired that creates the feeling of exclusion and negativity.

Post with no expectation that all will like what you've written, agree with your opinion or actually want to read what you've typed - and you'll feel no pain.

Expect everyone to love you, agree with every word - and that by posting in the forums your life on Fab will be in any way enhanced or that your inbox will suddenly be bursting, your friends list will be bursting and people will be lining up to get jiggy with you - and you'll enjoy a much happier Fab life.

It's just words. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Just my 2p.

A

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

cliques are part of everyday life, anywhere were a group of people socialise as well as attend.

Examples ~ the school mums in the playground, PTA's, work colleagues, clubs.

They're not necessarily a bad thing but if your not happy then you need to do something about it. The only person who will be upset is you otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Regular forum posters will be aware I have been on a rare occasion, less than generous with my comments so I'd like to do a Monday morning apology if anyone reading this has felt less than exalted if they've read one of my posts.

I doubt anyone would class you as a bully Steve. I think this is about the people who home in on the vulnerable and if they spot a weakness point it out with glee.

We have all grown impatient with people at times.

And I think this forum is full of vulnerable people and brings out the worst in many.

The world is full of vulnerable people, the less vulnerable have a choice to support, ignore or belittle.

I know which I choice I'd rather make

Well i would always be supportive to anyone"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Shame, the OP seemed like a canny lass from my limited interaction with her.

But its the internet, you can't take it too seriously, anyone receiving butthurt from internets shouldn't really be on it.

I've been using this forum for over four years and have never seen evidence of cliques. Some people know other people better than some other people. If you stay long enough you will see how these relationships change. If there is a 'clique' it's never the same for more than a few weeks so it isn't really a clique at all.

On a lighter note, I don't know if anyone has heard but I'm leaving the site also.

More info here, sorry guys...

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/67929

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/69213"

I'm gutted

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

trouble is there are people on here who have had problems and have low self esteem which makes them over sensitive a lot of the time.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"trouble is there are people on here who have had problems and have low self esteem which makes them over sensitive a lot of the time."

Disagree with you there. Some people are naturally sensitive people nothing to do with low self esteem

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"trouble is there are people on here who have had problems and have low self esteem which makes them over sensitive a lot of the time."

I agree with the over sensitive part as I have been guilty of that I wouldn't say I have problems or low self esteem however there are subjects that I'm passionate about and when I see peoples posts being mean or rude then I'll say something..sometimes it's better to walk away

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"No matter what you post, some people will take it the wrong way and be offended/ assume it's about them.

Other people will understand the intention behind it.

What the fuck do you mean by that??? "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"trouble is there are people on here who have had problems and have low self esteem which makes them over sensitive a lot of the time."

Sensitivity and low self esteem don't necessarily go hand in hand. Personality types deal with different things in different ways. I have quite high self esteem but I am sensitive because of my personality type. Therefore I might feel things that would be ignored, shrugged off or not even noticed by others.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"trouble is there are people on here who have had problems and have low self esteem which makes them over sensitive a lot of the time.

I agree with the over sensitive part as I have been guilty of that I wouldn't say I have problems or low self esteem however there are subjects that I'm passionate about and when I see peoples posts being mean or rude then I'll say something..sometimes it's better to walk away "

I know it is and I wish I could do that sometimes, especially when it comes to "what's best shaven or natural"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I had 3 people message me in the last 8 hours on shift that are now UNLOS. I don't know what I said!!

She seemed to be enjoying herself on the forums. She was till the the forum bullies all get together

Hadn't noticed there were forum bullies on here "

Me neither but if there are and they take a poke at me they are gona get that sh*t right back .. I've never felt excluded ..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"trouble is there are people on here who have had problems and have low self esteem which makes them over sensitive a lot of the time.

I agree with the over sensitive part as I have been guilty of that I wouldn't say I have problems or low self esteem however there are subjects that I'm passionate about and when I see peoples posts being mean or rude then I'll say something..sometimes it's better to walk away

I know it is and I wish I could do that sometimes, especially when it comes to "what's best shaven or natural" "

It doesn't bother me that question as the difference between the two for me is a few days lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"trouble is there are people on here who have had problems and have low self esteem which makes them over sensitive a lot of the time.

I agree with the over sensitive part as I have been guilty of that I wouldn't say I have problems or low self esteem however there are subjects that I'm passionate about and when I see peoples posts being mean or rude then I'll say something..sometimes it's better to walk away

I know it is and I wish I could do that sometimes, especially when it comes to "what's best shaven or natural"

It doesn't bother me that question as the difference between the two for me is a few days lol "

lol. I am quite vociferous in the defence of people choosing for themselves and against people making nasty comments about other peoples choices in this instance...its earned me a few less than complimentary asides in my time but I will keep on undeterred

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"trouble is there are people on here who have had problems and have low self esteem which makes them over sensitive a lot of the time.

I agree with the over sensitive part as I have been guilty of that I wouldn't say I have problems or low self esteem however there are subjects that I'm passionate about and when I see peoples posts being mean or rude then I'll say something..sometimes it's better to walk away

I know it is and I wish I could do that sometimes, especially when it comes to "what's best shaven or natural"

It doesn't bother me that question as the difference between the two for me is a few days lol

lol. I am quite vociferous in the defence of people choosing for themselves and against people making nasty comments about other peoples choices in this instance...its earned me a few less than complimentary asides in my time but I will keep on undeterred "

keep fighting the good fight

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By *unky monkeyMan  over a year ago

in the night garden


"Shame, the OP seemed like a canny lass from my limited interaction with her.

But its the internet, you can't take it too seriously, anyone receiving butthurt from internets shouldn't really be on it.

I've been using this forum for over four years and have never seen evidence of cliques. Some people know other people better than some other people. If you stay long enough you will see how these relationships change. If there is a 'clique' it's never the same for more than a few weeks so it isn't really a clique at all.

On a lighter note, I don't know if anyone has heard but I'm leaving the site also.

More info here, sorry guys...

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/67929

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/69213

I'm gutted "

Sad times indeed Nana, should be any time now

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *unky monkeyMan  over a year ago

in the night garden


"No matter what you post, some people will take it the wrong way and be offended/ assume it's about them.

Other people will understand the intention behind it.

What the fuck do you mean by that???

"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"trouble is there are people on here who have had problems and have low self esteem which makes them over sensitive a lot of the time.

Sensitivity and low self esteem don't necessarily go hand in hand. Personality types deal with different things in different ways. I have quite high self esteem but I am sensitive because of my personality type. Therefore I might feel things that would be ignored, shrugged off or not even noticed by others. "

Totally agree with you on this one. I have had to deal with a lot of bad stuff in my life and still am, but its made me a lot stronger person rather than low self esteem. But like you i am a very caring and sensetive person. Which i think is a good trait to have

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Well i would always be supportive to anyone"

I won't. I will always support peoples right to say things, but can not always support their opinions.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The trouble is when you get lots of different personalities all fighting for attention on here then no doubt there will be clashes...As far as bullying I haven't witnessed it I just think sometimes people can over do it....I've seen more jesters than bullies.. Maybe bullies was the wrong word to use . But its the gang mentality what winds me up . Takes 1 to turn on someone then the sheep follow . Chill tosh chill "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"trouble is there are people on here who have had problems and have low self esteem which makes them over sensitive a lot of the time.

Sensitivity and low self esteem don't necessarily go hand in hand. Personality types deal with different things in different ways. I have quite high self esteem but I am sensitive because of my personality type. Therefore I might feel things that would be ignored, shrugged off or not even noticed by others.

Totally agree with you on this one. I have had to deal with a lot of bad stuff in my life and still am, but its made me a lot stronger person rather than low self esteem. But like you i am a very caring and sensetive person. Which i think is a good trait to have"

Of course it's a good trait. But like all strengths we can overdo them too. It also isn't any better than being very logical and objective and rationalising things - just different.

"Vive la différence!"

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By *uby0000Woman  over a year ago

hertfordshire

i want to be part of a clique!!! lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Well i would always be supportive to anyone

I won't. I will always support peoples right to say things, but can not always support their opinions."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Shame, the OP seemed like a canny lass from my limited interaction with her.

But its the internet, you can't take it too seriously, anyone receiving butthurt from internets shouldn't really be on it.

I've been using this forum for over four years and have never seen evidence of cliques. Some people know other people better than some other people. If you stay long enough you will see how these relationships change. If there is a 'clique' it's never the same for more than a few weeks so it isn't really a clique at all.

On a lighter note, I don't know if anyone has heard but I'm leaving the site also.

More info here, sorry guys...

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/67929

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/69213

I'm gutted

Sad times indeed Nana, should be any time now "

My black mourning garb is ready and waiting

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *odareyouMan  over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)


"I very rarely post in the forums for this reason. I would love to interact more but certain individuals put me off. I think if you dont post often and your face dont fit then you dont get response.

A couple of times i have posted a thread and yes some of you was very supportive and nice to me, which i was very greatful of. But since then i have been ignored. This puts me off. Im a full time carer and would love to join is forums as a way of communication and interacting with adults as i dont much at home. But seeing how some of the people are puts me off. Sorry if this offends people but its my opinion of the forums

No need to apologise - an opinion is valid regardless of who makes it.

I do wonder though that if people feel they are ignored - what is the expectation of posting on a forum?

Like anything on site - meets, messages etc, there's no obligation for anyone to read, respond to, or interact with anyone based on a forum post.

Plenty of threads hit the dizzy heights of 175. Plenty fall flat on their arse at 1. If someone thinks they're being ignored it may not be personal. It may be the subject of the thread. It may be people have no interest in it, it's been done before or they just have no opinion.

Every forum user posted their first comment at some point, or started their first thread. Some use the forums more regularly than others - hence they appear more frequently and post more often and as such may be perceived to be in a clique. Others post less frequently, cherry pick which threads they contribute to and avoid what some see as 'in-crowd' chit- chat, which is usually (note - usually) nothing more than the kind of banter you'd see in the chat rooms, but posted here instead.

Regardless of whether people post daily, weekly or once in a blue moon - it's an open forum, publicly on display, got all to use as they wish (within the rules if course!). People who post to seek attention may find it either works in their favour or against them - not due to whether their face fits, but largely due to the nature of their posts. Those that post to simply enjoy banter, ask a question (sensibly and in the right way) or to share info shouldn't feel excluded in any way - and it's often more down to someone not getting the responses (in terms of volume or content) that they expected/desired that creates the feeling of exclusion and negativity.

Post with no expectation that all will like what you've written, agree with your opinion or actually want to read what you've typed - and you'll feel no pain.

Expect everyone to love you, agree with every word - and that by posting in the forums your life on Fab will be in any way enhanced or that your inbox will suddenly be bursting, your friends list will be bursting and people will be lining up to get jiggy with you - and you'll enjoy a much happier Fab life.

It's just words. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Just my 2p.

A"

I thought I was a bona fide thread killer when I first posted, didn t stop me though,

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ce WingerMan  over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Crikey, I fuck off into town for an hour and the thread's nearly full

Did anyone want to join my clique or not, you only have to have the ability to post bunkum and balderdash

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By *unky monkeyMan  over a year ago

in the night garden


"Crikey, I fuck off into town for an hour and the thread's nearly full

Did anyone want to join my clique or not, you only have to have the ability to post bunkum and balderdash "

I up for a bit of balderdash bro

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple  over a year ago

in Lancashire

Perceptions eh..

one persons 'clique' will be another's 'group of like minded people I've not yet got to know and vice versa'..

think Crystals point is valid in the difference comments wise by some that a married male would have gotten where this the case..

not heard cheating yet and even with a similar 'explanation' if the OP had been male I would warrant it would have been used before now..

hey ho..

think the OP was on her way out after her comment on the married thread tbh, quite liked her input but the reason for leaving she gave doesn't stand out as fully thought through perhaps..

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By *bony in IvoryCouple  over a year ago

Black&White Utopia


"I very rarely post in the forums for this reason. I would love to interact more but certain individuals put me off. I think if you dont post often and your face dont fit then you dont get response.

A couple of times i have posted a thread and yes some of you was very supportive and nice to me, which i was very greatful of. But since then i have been ignored. This puts me off. Im a full time carer and would love to join is forums as a way of communication and interacting with adults as i dont much at home. But seeing how some of the people are puts me off. Sorry if this offends people but its my opinion of the forums

No need to apologise - an opinion is valid regardless of who makes it.

I do wonder though that if people feel they are ignored - what is the expectation of posting on a forum?

Like anything on site - meets, messages etc, there's no obligation for anyone to read, respond to, or interact with anyone based on a forum post.

Plenty of threads hit the dizzy heights of 175. Plenty fall flat on their arse at 1. If someone thinks they're being ignored it may not be personal. It may be the subject of the thread. It may be people have no interest in it, it's been done before or they just have no opinion.

Every forum user posted their first comment at some point, or started their first thread. Some use the forums more regularly than others - hence they appear more frequently and post more often and as such may be perceived to be in a clique. Others post less frequently, cherry pick which threads they contribute to and avoid what some see as 'in-crowd' chit- chat, which is usually (note - usually) nothing more than the kind of banter you'd see in the chat rooms, but posted here instead.

Regardless of whether people post daily, weekly or once in a blue moon - it's an open forum, publicly on display, got all to use as they wish (within the rules if course!). People who post to seek attention may find it either works in their favour or against them - not due to whether their face fits, but largely due to the nature of their posts. Those that post to simply enjoy banter, ask a question (sensibly and in the right way) or to share info shouldn't feel excluded in any way - and it's often more down to someone not getting the responses (in terms of volume or content) that they expected/desired that creates the feeling of exclusion and negativity.

Post with no expectation that all will like what you've written, agree with your opinion or actually want to read what you've typed - and you'll feel no pain.

Expect everyone to love you, agree with every word - and that by posting in the forums your life on Fab will be in any way enhanced or that your inbox will suddenly be bursting, your friends list will be bursting and people will be lining up to get jiggy with you - and you'll enjoy a much happier Fab life.

It's just words. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Just my 2p.

A

I thought I was a bona fide thread killer when I first posted, didn t stop me though, "

same here! Shoved on me concrete onesie and still here!

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By *o new WinksMan  over a year ago

BSE

I liked TF.....we had a few asides in which she showed herself to be a witty and interesting lady.

But leaving a swinging site because a few numpties disagree or say bad things to you is a little extreme. Where is she going to get sex now ?

As for the forums...well I spew my opinion onto threads and am mostly ignored. The occasional is given by another lesser known member and I am pleased that there is another enlightened person in the world.

I do however make pertinent points that I know would be debated by all, if I was one of the gang. But they fall on deaf eyes in here. Am I bothered?....occasionally.

Do I throw my toys ? Of course not....do you know how much wands cost

But it is a shame that human

(forum) nature is so exclusive. It allows intelligent and pertinent comments to float off into the ether because its originator isn't in with the 'in crowd'. If I was one of those elevated on here....you know who you are.....I would make sure that people who make positive contributions were at least noticed and acknowledged.

As for whatever was said to drive TF away; I suppose we will never know, but I find it more than a little disconcerting that certain members are so overt in their 'meh' attitude.

I wont go into why I think they contribute to the high attrition rate of this site for fear of retribution.

But they do and they know it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I liked TF.....we had a few asides in which she showed herself to be a witty and interesting lady.

But leaving a swinging site because a few numpties disagree or say bad things to you is a little extreme. Where is she going to get sex now ?

As for the forums...well I spew my opinion onto threads and am mostly ignored. The occasional is given by another lesser known member and I am pleased that there is another enlightened person in the world.

I do however make pertinent points that I know would be debated by all, if I was one of the gang. But they fall on deaf eyes in here. Am I bothered?....occasionally.

Do I throw my toys ? Of course not....do you know how much wands cost

But it is a shame that human

(forum) nature is so exclusive. It allows intelligent and pertinent comments to float off into the ether because its originator isn't in with the 'in crowd'. If I was one of those elevated on here....you know who you are.....I would make sure that people who make positive contributions were at least noticed and acknowledged.

As for whatever was said to drive TF away; I suppose we will never know, but I find it more than a little disconcerting that certain members are so overt in their 'meh' attitude.

I wont go into why I think they contribute to the high attrition rate of this site for fear of retribution.

But they do and they know it."

Well put

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

  

By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

I left this running so all could have their say on the forum.

As you can see. some people feel the forum isn't a friendly place at times, and having read the forum for a long time I would say they were right....for the regulars who deny that maybe look again at some threads were people are asking for advice and you may see the same as what others do.

On the other hand, a group of people having fun on the forum will probably look out for the people they get on with / like how they post.... so I don't think they leave people out on purpose.

To anyone worried about posting, don't be as once you get into it the forum can be a fun place

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