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Is honesty a good thing?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Some people seem to think being honest is the best way. 'Profiles must be totally honest...' etc etc
Example.. someone mails me for a fuck.
Do I be honest and say, "the thought of you fucking me makes me cringe, no way!"
Or do I say, "sorry you live too far away. Good luck and have fun."
Is there a time when honesty is a bad thing? |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
You can be honest without adding details. However, there are times when the omission makes the honest statement dishonest. I'll use a Fab type example:
Me: Are you married?
Him: No
Omitted to mention he is in a long-term relationship with someone.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do I be honest and say, "the thought of you fucking me makes me cringe, no way!"
Or do I say, "sorry you live too far away. Good luck and have fun.""
Both of these may be honest...so you pick the one which is less hurtful...it's still honest...but it's just framed in a kinder way. Any idea that it isn't the whole story is really a total red herring. Neither of these are the whole story...the whole story would take a novel to write out and would probably detail early childhood experiences seeing your daddy's pee pee in the bath  
We are always framing our truth and deciding what to leave out. The trick is to frame it in a kind way and leave the person to skip merrily onwards in search of whatever it is they're looking for oblivious to the fact that they're a fucking ugly moronic twat   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do I be honest and say, "the thought of you fucking me makes me cringe, no way!"
Or do I say, "sorry you live too far away. Good luck and have fun."
Both of these may be honest...so you pick the one which is less hurtful...it's still honest...but it's just framed in a kinder way. Any idea that it isn't the whole story is really a total red herring. Neither of these are the whole story...the whole story would take a novel to write out and would probably detail early childhood experiences seeing your daddy's pee pee in the bath
We are always framing our truth and deciding what to leave out. The trick is to frame it in a kind way and leave the person to skip merrily onwards in search of whatever it is they're looking for oblivious to the fact that they're a fucking ugly moronic twat "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You can be honest without adding details. However, there are times when the omission makes the honest statement dishonest. I'll use a Fab type example:
Me: Are you married?
Him: No
Omitted to mention he is in a long-term relationship with someone.
"
I am often dishonest by omission. Or blatantly lie- as in the second example in my OP. |
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Your example was someone "mailing you for a fuck", they didn't say "what do you feel when you think about fucking me?" Only in that case would the appropriate honest answer potentially be "the thought of fucking you makes me cringe".
There is a lot of unnecessary nastiness on this site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would rather someone be completely honest with me . Then just lead me on forever with lies "
Oh well in that case Toshn I guess it's time to admit that the entire world is a fabrication of an advanced alien civilisation which is harvesting human energy. You're actually laying in a sack of embriotic fluid spasming away whilst imagining you're walking around in the 'real world'. None of us are real and your only hope of escape is to wake up, descend down into the earth to where some stupid retro 1980's rave is going on with crap rock music and then drill up and have a bunch of half arsed fights with silly robots until you can make your way into the architects room and convince him to stop harvesting humans.
Shit and to think I actually bothered to sit through and watch all that crap  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I would rather someone be completely honest with me . Then just lead me on forever with lies
Oh well in that case Toshn I guess it's time to admit that the entire world is a fabrication of an advanced alien civilisation which is harvesting human energy. You're actually laying in a sack of embriotic fluid spasming away whilst imagining you're walking around in the 'real world'. None of us are real and your only hope of escape is to wake up, descend down into the earth to where some stupid retro 1980's rave is going on with crap rock music and then drill up and have a bunch of half arsed fights with silly robots until you can make your way into the architects room and convince him to stop harvesting humans.
Shit and to think I actually bothered to sit through and watch all that crap "
You didn't. You were having spasms in embryonic fluid with a tube taking the energy straight to the aliens.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your example was someone "mailing you for a fuck", they didn't say "what do you feel when you think about fucking me?" Only in that case would the appropriate honest answer potentially be "the thought of fucking you makes me cringe".
There is a lot of unnecessary nastiness on this site. "
Good grief it was just an example. I'd never say that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone persists in asking why, I would just say I'm sorry but you're not for me or I'm not attracted to you. There is no need whatsoever to go into any more detail than that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people seem to think being honest is the best way. 'Profiles must be totally honest...' etc etc
Example.. someone mails me for a fuck.
Do I be honest and say, "the thought of you fucking me makes me cringe, no way!"
Or do I say, "sorry you live too far away. Good luck and have fun."
Is there a time when honesty is a bad thing?"
There is a massive difference between being honest and being rude. I don't like larger ladies, but I would never respond to a message with "Ugh fuck off you're fat!", I would simply say "No thanks". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would rather someone be completely honest with me . Then just lead me on forever with lies
Oh well in that case Toshn I guess it's time to admit that the entire world is a fabrication of an advanced alien civilisation which is harvesting human energy. You're actually laying in a sack of embriotic fluid spasming away whilst imagining you're walking around in the 'real world'. None of us are real and your only hope of escape is to wake up, descend down into the earth to where some stupid retro 1980's rave is going on with crap rock music and then drill up and have a bunch of half arsed fights with silly robots until you can make your way into the architects room and convince him to stop harvesting humans.
Shit and to think I actually bothered to sit through and watch all that crap "
thankyou for been honest  |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Some people seem to think being honest is the best way. 'Profiles must be totally honest...' etc etc
Example.. someone mails me for a fuck.
Do I be honest and say, "the thought of you fucking me makes me cringe, no way!"
Or do I say, "sorry you live too far away. Good luck and have fun."
Is there a time when honesty is a bad thing?"
Honesty is always preferable to lying. However, when possible it's best to be honest without being hurtful or nasty.
"No thanks" or "you're not what I'm looking for" is better than "you make my flesh crawl". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people seem to think being honest is the best way. 'Profiles must be totally honest...' etc etc
Example.. someone mails me for a fuck.
Do I be honest and say, "the thought of you fucking me makes me cringe, no way!"
Or do I say, "sorry you live too far away. Good luck and have fun."
Is there a time when honesty is a bad thing?
Honesty is always preferable to lying. However, when possible it's best to be honest without being hurtful or nasty.
"No thanks" or "you're not what I'm looking for" is better than "you make my flesh crawl"."
I totally agree . If someone said "sorry tosh you make my flesh crawl . " I would say . " Well dont you gonna meet you now " that would piss em off |
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"Your example was someone "mailing you for a fuck", they didn't say "what do you feel when you think about fucking me?" Only in that case would the appropriate honest answer potentially be "the thought of fucking you makes me cringe".
There is a lot of unnecessary nastiness on this site.
Good grief it was just an example. I'd never say that! "
Good grief, I didn't say you did say it or that you were being nasty, I just said there is a lot of nastiness on this site (which is well documented). |
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"Your example was someone "mailing you for a fuck", they didn't say "what do you feel when you think about fucking me?" Only in that case would the appropriate honest answer potentially be "the thought of fucking you makes me cringe".
There is a lot of unnecessary nastiness on this site.
Good grief it was just an example. I'd never say that!
Good grief, I didn't say you did say it or that you were being nasty, I just said there is a lot of nastiness on this site (which is well documented)."
Don't believe everything you read. Especially when the only place it can possibly be documented is on the forums, written by forumites - some of who are not renowned for their logic , reason and emotional stability.
Ooops ... fuck this honesty lark. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people seem to think being honest is the best way. 'Profiles must be totally honest...' etc etc
Example.. someone mails me for a fuck.
Do I be honest and say, "the thought of you fucking me makes me cringe, no way!"
Or do I say, "sorry you live too far away. Good luck and have fun."
Is there a time when honesty is a bad thing?"
I don't know, but your feet are huge! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your example was someone "mailing you for a fuck", they didn't say "what do you feel when you think about fucking me?" Only in that case would the appropriate honest answer potentially be "the thought of fucking you makes me cringe".
There is a lot of unnecessary nastiness on this site.
Good grief it was just an example. I'd never say that!
Good grief, I didn't say you did say it or that you were being nasty, I just said there is a lot of nastiness on this site (which is well documented).
Don't believe everything you read. Especially when the only place it can possibly be documented is on the forums, written by forumites - some of who are not renowned for their logic , reason and emotional stability.
Ooops ... fuck this honesty lark."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And confuse 'em   obviously my humour is lost on you
Tonight I am liking your bum. Only tonight ?
I don't usually peek but it was winking at me."
it does that . Its a bit of a flirty ass |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Some people seem to think being honest is the best way. 'Profiles must be totally honest...' etc etc
Example.. someone mails me for a fuck.
Do I be honest and say, "the thought of you fucking me makes me cringe, no way!"
Or do I say, "sorry you live too far away. Good luck and have fun."
Is there a time when honesty is a bad thing?"
I think there is a time when it can be bad for another person. But then I have learnt a long time ago that people can be selectively offended, so I stick with honesty is the best policy and be damned. |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
"I couldn't knowingly be awful to someone so I varnish the truth a littleWhy do people associate being awful with being honest? I see them as two different things."
because if I honest and hurt someones feelings I would feel awful,probably didn't word that too well
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I couldn't knowingly be awful to someone so I varnish the truth a littleWhy do people associate being awful with being honest? I see them as two different things."
granted not everything is, but most of us know when some truths are going to be a little cutting. There's no harm in toning it down so it's not so blunt it hurts another if that can be avoided ?
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"I couldn't knowingly be awful to someone so I varnish the truth a littleWhy do people associate being awful with being honest? I see them as two different things.because if I honest and hurt someones feelings I would feel awful,probably didn't word that too well"
I know what you mean. But that's assuming that being honest is going to be about something bad.
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"I couldn't knowingly be awful to someone so I varnish the truth a littleWhy do people associate being awful with being honest? I see them as two different things.granted not everything is, but most of us know when some truths are going to be a little cutting. There's no harm in toning it down so it's not so blunt it hurts another if that can be avoided ? "
I agree, but then again, when I get to this point aka banging ones head up against a brick wall, sometimes being blunt is needed otherwise the message doesn't come across loud and clear, this is a two way street really, depends very much on the other person(s)
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
"I couldn't knowingly be awful to someone so I varnish the truth a littleWhy do people associate being awful with being honest? I see them as two different things.because if I honest and hurt someones feelings I would feel awful,probably didn't word that too wellI know what you mean. But that's assuming that being honest is going to be about something bad."
that's true,but if its something good then I can be honest
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I couldn't knowingly be awful to someone so I varnish the truth a littleWhy do people associate being awful with being honest? I see them as two different things.granted not everything is, but most of us know when some truths are going to be a little cutting. There's no harm in toning it down so it's not so blunt it hurts another if that can be avoided ? I agree, but then again, when I get to this point aka banging ones head up against a brick wall, sometimes being blunt is needed otherwise the message doesn't come across loud and clear, this is a two way street really, depends very much on the other person(s)"
True, I agree sometimes the truth and to the point can be kinder in the long term. The people who reflect on such matters will generally do what's right. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can be honest without spewing out every thought and emotion, which is where bit of tact comes into play. No thanks is an honest response, and whilst the thought may make you cringe it's extra info that isn't needed to make the no thanks more honest. However it is possible to be dishonest sometimes by answering a question completely truthfully but omitting a detail that you know is still relevant, such as Lickety's example.
There was a Ricky Gervais film a couple of years ago where no one could lie, and I had to walk out of it because it wasn't as simple as no one could lie, everyone seemed to be completely unable to keep any thought in their head, regardless of relevance. To me you can be honest and wherever possible not upset someone... Although sometimes the truth his hand in hand with upset |
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"I would rather someone be completely honest with me . Then just lead me on forever with lies
Oh well in that case Toshn I guess it's time to admit that the entire world is a fabrication of an advanced alien civilisation which is harvesting human energy. You're actually laying in a sack of embriotic fluid spasming away whilst imagining you're walking around in the 'real world'. None of us are real and your only hope of escape is to wake up, descend down into the earth to where some stupid retro 1980's rave is going on with crap rock music and then drill up and have a bunch of half arsed fights with silly robots until you can make your way into the architects room and convince him to stop harvesting humans.
Shit and to think I actually bothered to sit through and watch all that crap "
Fabs is a kind of matrix......... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmm honesty? "Oy did you break that window boy"! "Yes sorry sir we was playing foot ball with a can and I passed it to Stubbins sir and he missed the pass and it broke the window" "detention, and your parents will be paying for that window"! Parent. "Right no pocket money for 3 months until you pay us back the shame! What monster have I we raised! I'll never be able to attend pta again what will they think"....... Or what window? Shrugs shoulders carry on like nothing happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes there is a way to go about being honest. Some may be blunt and say it up front with total disregard to a person's feeling or sensitivities. Whilst others may also say it, but takig in to account how the other person may feel.
All comes down to a person's personality at the end of the day. Being honest is better than being a liar.
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