FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > kindness for weakness
kindness for weakness
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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we always try to be polite, even when a wink or a message comes through from profiles that are a world away from what we are after, we will always try to reply with a quick message pointing out that we are looking for different thing and wish them luck and usually everyones happy and moves on!
we do however sometimes get a few that try to twist our arm or argue that what they want is the way forward and we should try xyz ect, ignorance must be bliss
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By *andS66Couple
over a year ago
Derby |
We always try to reply to messages. We quite often get messages from couples with a straight female, or soft swap only couples. When we say, 'no thanks' as your profile says "straight fem" or "soft swap only" we always get, "well, the fem is bi in the right circumstances", or "oh, we do sometimes full swap if we feel it's right".....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Couldn't have written it... no sooner had we put our previous post up, we got a message asking for a meet with a couple where the fem is straight! "
its the weekend, im sure that staying up late and alcohol makes people rationalise differently   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a rule that I always reply once, even if they are totally unsuitable and it's a "no thank you".
If they reply again asking why not etc, I don't reply. No need to get into a conversation. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We often wonder if the types of people that contact unsuitable profiles are the same types that moan on about being unable to find meets? Or supposedly being let down? Maybe the selection process is to blame  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll be honest I used to reply to every message even if it was a "no thank you" but these days I rarely do.
I make it perfectly clear on my profile what I'm looking for, if guys don't have the courtesy to read it then I decided I didn't have the courtesy to reply and as you've mentioned sometimes by replying can get in to an unnecessary and uncomfortable conversation with them trying to twist your arm. |
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Yep. We used to reply to everyone now we only reply to people who have read our profile. We don't eat take away pizza so I don't feel the need to ring Dominoes and tell them everytime they put a leaflet through the door. |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"I have a rule that I always reply once, even if they are totally unsuitable and it's a "no thank you".
If they reply again asking why not etc, I don't reply. No need to get into a conversation. "
On my old profile blurb, the Mastermind Skit, I had a bit that said:
'The decision of the judges' panel is final and no correspondence will be entered into.'
It used to irritate me when after pointing out that someone is that far away that I'd consider it a holiday destination, they send a message pointing out they are worth it because.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get a lot of guys messaging me asking for gay meets even tho I've stated I'm only curious and after females on my profile
I have also messaged women who are looking for the same thing as I was & also women who haven't been looking for what I was
I've found it's usually the ones not looking for the same thing as me that end up chatting more
as for reading profiles, I'll admit I read some, but others are equal to reading a book, and when you put in the effort read a profile find one you actually match only for them to be fake or not responsive is terrible,
So I understand people not replying to every message however it is rude not to, no matter the excuse
a simply no thanks is nicer than your message being deleted and a message just being read and left is the worst
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I got one last night. Local to me but couldn't accommodate. When I pointed this out he stated that I should accommodate so we could meet. I must admit he was yummy, and local, but it annoyed me that he expected me to change my preferences when he wouldn't change his. |
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"I get a lot of guys messaging me asking for gay meets even tho I've stated I'm only curious and after females on my profile
I have also messaged women who are looking for the same thing as I was & also women who haven't been looking for what I was
I've found it's usually the ones not looking for the same thing as me that end up chatting more
as for reading profiles, I'll admit I read some, but others are equal to reading a book, and when you put in the effort read a profile find one you actually match only for them to be fake or not responsive is terrible,
So I understand people not replying to every message however it is rude not to, no matter the excuse
a simply no thanks is nicer than your message being deleted and a message just being read and left is the worst
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So you might message me despite not having read my profile so you have no idea if you suit what I'm looking for?
And then I have to read your profile, decide if you suit and reply even if it's a no?!?
Something doesn't seem quite right there, surely courtesy is a two-way thing.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is a two way street, I never said I wouldn't look at your profile, chances are I will, but when men and again I'm not saying all go out there way to find common interests and it's fake but talk to someone with few interests and end up hitting it off, you do the calculation there, what has paid off? Also like I said I understand you not replying but it's rude no matter your excuse, which you have just made |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont really get why people insist if you reject them. If I get a 'no' from a message, I just block the person so I dont hassle them again in the future.
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I wish men would just accept and move on.
It pisses couples and ladies off when men just argue/beg giving them a more negative mindset when I say 'hi'.
If I dont get a reply I will occasionally follow up with a humorous but accepting message and then that's it.
It's the continued harrasment by many on here that creates a negative vibe for so many ladies. How many ladies/couples have left saying things like: 'thought this was supposed to be fun' or 'sick of the hassle' etc. ?
I occasionally say 'no thanks' to offers which show clearly that my profile hasnt been read. I feel it is polite but understand why others dont do the same.
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"It is a two way street, I never said I wouldn't look at your profile, chances are I will, but when men and again I'm not saying all go out there way to find common interests and it's fake but talk to someone with few interests and end up hitting it off, you do the calculation there, what has paid off? Also like I said I understand you not replying but it's rude no matter your excuse, which you have just made"
Read the FAQs on the site: "No reply means no". You're not entitled to anything on here, whether its a wink, a message, or a meet, and thinking you are shows a level of entitlement that most women would find unattractive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get a lot of guys messaging me asking for gay meets even tho I've stated I'm only curious and after females on my profile
I have also messaged women who are looking for the same thing as I was & also women who haven't been looking for what I was
I've found it's usually the ones not looking for the same thing as me that end up chatting more
as for reading profiles, I'll admit I read some, but others are equal to reading a book, and when you put in the effort read a profile find one you actually match only for them to be fake or not responsive is terrible,
So I understand people not replying to every message however it is rude not to, no matter the excuse
a simply no thanks is nicer than your message being deleted and a message just being read and left is the worst
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So when we get Messages aimed soley at Nette telling her they have a huge knob and will bang her til shes ruined, The best Shes ever had, And the really weird stuff asking her to shit on them your saying that not to reply to these dickheads is rude ?....A bruised Ego is a funny thing isnt it.
Gimp |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lot of highly offensiveness there, no consideration? Feeling guilty? I reply even to nasty messages in a calm and controlled manner, like I have in response in here, if you think ignorance is bliss, then that is your view and you're entitled to such, manners cost nothing.
*warning this message will be followed by excuses and angry responses, so enjoy their rants* |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"A lot of highly offensiveness there, no consideration? Feeling guilty? I reply even to nasty messages in a calm and controlled manner, like I have in response in here, if you think ignorance is bliss, then that is your view and you're entitled to such, manners cost nothing.
*warning this message will be followed by excuses and angry responses, so enjoy their rants*"
Bless. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We started with the op to lightheartedly highlight that to some people, a no thanks or we are into different things message doesnt quite register and that by them trying to change our views they are making themselves look ignorant and sometimes desperate.
Its a bit like seeing an advert for a blue car then arguing with the seller that you want a red one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Also like I said I understand you not replying but it's rude no matter your excuse, which you have just made"
I find it rude that people don't read profiles before messaging so what excuse is there for that?
Why should I waste my time responding to someone who hasn't bothered to read what I'm looking for just to tell them I'm not interested? |
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I had a conversation with a TV/TS that was something like
Him ....fancy a fuck
Me .....no
Him.....thats no thankyou. You need to use manners.
Me......how about no, read my fucking profile.
Him.....well, you dont know how to say no politely because no one ever offers you a fuck. Thats because you are too fat, baldy.
At this point I wanted to say ' yes, you are being turned down by a fat baldy. Which one of us is the loser.'
I just blocked and deleted. TWAT |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We only reply to the ones that match. If we don't match and we get mail from couples that haven't read our profile we just block to save time in the future. Cuts out the ping pong mail. |
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We ignore the one liners, the typical mass mail ones that have no reference to us or our profile, and the odd creepy ones.
The rest get a reply even if its a no thank you. Its not hard to do, there aren't so many left at that point!  |
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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago
Pleasuretown |
"It is a two way street, I never said I wouldn't look at your profile, chances are I will, but when men and again I'm not saying all go out there way to find common interests and it's fake but talk to someone with few interests and end up hitting it off, you do the calculation there, what has paid off? Also like I said I understand you not replying but it's rude no matter your excuse, which you have just made
Read the FAQs on the site: "No reply means no". You're not entitled to anything on here, whether its a wink, a message, or a meet, and thinking you are shows a level of entitlement that most women would find unattractive."
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