I heard how good this was, how it felt so natural and so I tried this once and discovered a few things I thought I should impart to you all so you can decide if the risk is worth it.
Firstly, I had to find a bear. It isn't easy, you know. Sneaked into the zoo late at night. Discounted the pandas totally. I'm just not into the big black and white cock stuff. Found a polar bear. Brown and black just isn't my thing. It's a personal preference, nothing more. I'm not a bearist.
Got undressed and climbed into the enclosure. It a really difficult to sneak up on a bear without it noticing you are there. Anyway, jumped on her back, and held on. God, did she make a fuss. Rolling this way and that, I swear she was trying to have a go at me. Anyway, there's me riding her and she was angry.
So, anyway, I falls off and the bugger only tries to flaming eat me. Don't they feed them at the zoo? I had a good mind to report them to the RSPCA for animal cruelty.
How I managed to get out, I don't know but I was scratched and bitten everywhere.
Anyway, this bear back stuff is nowhere near as safe as using a condom. Next time I'm taking a tranquilliser gun to knock her out first.
So, if you want to try bear back sex, here's some tips:
1. Find a bear
2. Don't be too fussy about her hair colour
3. Knock the bugger out first
4. Do your thing before she recovers
5. Get a bigger first aid kit cos those wee plasters are quite rubbish at sorting claw marks
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its very difficult to tell the difference between a male and female bear unless you reach round the front, maybe this is why he was getting miffed you may have given him the ghey 
Gimp |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I started to read this , and thought ...... ' what is this bloke chatting about ' .
Glad I stuck with it !!
1 - great information and tips
2- made me smile
3- good to see some sense of humour .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its very difficult to tell the difference between a male and female bear unless you reach round the front, maybe this is why he was getting miffed you may have given him the ghey
Gimp "
Ghey bear back is the most risky of all sex.... well, that and trying to slip your know up your Mrs's arsehole and saying 'sorry, I thought it was your pussy' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Done it loadsssssss of times and love it 
Did you read the OP? Yes I did lol that's y the call me bear grylls, expert in the bush tucker trials "
Gentle Ben just went UNLOS |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Done it loadsssssss of times and love it
Did you read the OP? Yes I did lol that's y the call me bear grylls, expert in the bush tucker trials "
Wait you ate it's balls?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Done it loadsssssss of times and love it
Did you read the OP? Yes I did lol that's y the call me bear grylls, expert in the bush tucker trials
Gentle Ben just went UNLOS "
Whats unlos?lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Done it loadsssssss of times and love it
Did you read the OP? Yes I did lol that's y the call me bear grylls, expert in the bush tucker trials
Wait you ate it's balls? "
no I ate some crickets lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Done it loadsssssss of times and love it
Did you read the OP? Yes I did lol that's y the call me bear grylls, expert in the bush tucker trials
Gentle Ben just went UNLOS Whats unlos?lol."
User no longer on site |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its very difficult to tell the difference between a male and female bear unless you reach round the front, maybe this is why he was getting miffed you may have given him the ghey
Gimp
Ghey bear back is the most risky of all sex.... well, that and trying to slip your know up your Mrs's arsehole and saying 'sorry, I thought it was your pussy' "
Nahh its all good her sister loves it 
Gimp |
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"I heard how good this was, how it felt so natural and so I tried this once and discovered a few things I thought I should impart to you all so you can decide if the risk is worth it.
Firstly, I had to find a bear. It isn't easy, you know. Sneaked into the zoo late at night. Discounted the pandas totally. I'm just not into the big black and white cock stuff. Found a polar bear. Brown and black just isn't my thing. It's a personal preference, nothing more. I'm not a bearist.
Got undressed and climbed into the enclosure. It a really difficult to sneak up on a bear without it noticing you are there. Anyway, jumped on her back, and held on. God, did she make a fuss. Rolling this way and that, I swear she was trying to have a go at me. Anyway, there's me riding her and she was angry.
So, anyway, I falls off and the bugger only tries to flaming eat me. Don't they feed them at the zoo? I had a good mind to report them to the RSPCA for animal cruelty.
How I managed to get out, I don't know but I was scratched and bitten everywhere.
Anyway, this bear back stuff is nowhere near as safe as using a condom. Next time I'm taking a tranquilliser gun to knock her out first.
So, if you want to try bear back sex, here's some tips:
1. Find a bear
2. Don't be too fussy about her hair colour
3. Knock the bugger out first
4. Do your thing before she recovers
5. Get a bigger first aid kit cos those wee plasters are quite rubbish at sorting claw marks
"
I needed a good laugh today, than you glam bear f***er  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Done it loadsssssss of times and love it
Did you read the OP? Yes I did lol that's y the call me bear grylls, expert in the bush tucker trials
Gentle Ben just went UNLOS Whats unlos?lol.
User no longer on site"
I see it now yes and good code for it loll. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its very difficult to tell the difference between a male and female bear unless you reach round the front, maybe this is why he was getting miffed you may have given him the ghey
Gimp
Ghey bear back is the most risky of all sex.... well, that and trying to slip your know up your Mrs's arsehole and saying 'sorry, I thought it was your pussy' "
Really! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I heard how good this was, how it felt so natural and so I tried this once and discovered a few things I thought I should impart to you all so you can decide if the risk is worth it.
Firstly, I had to find a bear. It isn't easy, you know. Sneaked into the zoo late at night. Discounted the pandas totally. I'm just not into the big black and white cock stuff. Found a polar bear. Brown and black just isn't my thing. It's a personal preference, nothing more. I'm not a bearist.
Got undressed and climbed into the enclosure. It a really difficult to sneak up on a bear without it noticing you are there. Anyway, jumped on her back, and held on. God, did she make a fuss. Rolling this way and that, I swear she was trying to have a go at me. Anyway, there's me riding her and she was angry.
So, anyway, I falls off and the bugger only tries to flaming eat me. Don't they feed them at the zoo? I had a good mind to report them to the RSPCA for animal cruelty.
How I managed to get out, I don't know but I was scratched and bitten everywhere.
Anyway, this bear back stuff is nowhere near as safe as using a condom. Next time I'm taking a tranquilliser gun to knock her out first.
So, if you want to try bear back sex, here's some tips:
1. Find a bear
2. Don't be too fussy about her hair colour
3. Knock the bugger out first
4. Do your thing before she recovers
5. Get a bigger first aid kit cos those wee plasters are quite rubbish at sorting claw marks
"
LOL, I wonder if you have ever tried dogging?
something tells me I should not have asked that question
I suppose that would a story for another thread |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
5. Get a bigger first aid kit cos those wee plasters are quite rubbish at sorting claw marks
They're quite good for small boo-boos though "
I thought there was only one yogi bear side kick  |
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I have been reading up on what to do if you meet a polar bear and it seems they like bear back sex as the advice is you should throw your glove at them so they can sniff it. If you distract them you can then have your fun. I must have just found one at its time of the month. And I thought the blood was mine too ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tried to do it once but forgot to take a torch and ended up in the wrong enclosure.
If anyone's interested, boar back sex is piggin orrible  "
Made me snigger and (oh the shame of it) snort! !   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I came face to face with a grizzly back in Canada....wrestled the f*cker and shaved him clean...asss and all...licked him good too  "
Was that Paul Martin
Gimp |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wanted to try it so I got in the car and turned on the satnav so that every time it said "BEAR LEFT" I could track one down.
Unfortunately my satnav is shit and keeps lying. |
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"I wanted to try it so I got in the car and turned on the satnav so that every time it said "BEAR LEFT" I could track one down.
Unfortunately my satnav is shit and keeps lying. "
Haha that is brilliant  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Made me think of this...
Bill's New Rifle
Bill's all excited about his new rifle. So, he goes bear hunting in Alaska.
The first bear he sees is a little brown bear, and he kills it with his first shot. There is a tap on his shoulder, and he turns around to see a big black bear.
The black bear says "You've got two choices. One, I maul you to death or two, we have sex."
Bill bends over for the bear. He's sore for 2 days, but he recovers and vows revenge.
Bill heads out on another trip to Alaska and he finds the black bear and kills him. At that moment there is a tap on his shoulder.
A huge grizzly is standing right behind him. The grizzly says, "That was a big mistake. You've got 2 choices, either I maul you to death or we have sex."
Bill bends over. He survives, but he's really hurting and takes quite a bit of time to recover, and, he's outraged. Sure enough, he heads back to Alaska and finds the grizzly and shoots him at point blank range.
There's a tap on his shoulder. He turns around to find an enormous polar bear, and the polar bear says, "You don't really come here for the hunting, do you?"
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