FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do you think you're a weird pervert?
Do you think you're a weird pervert?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you feel you're a bit of a pervert, a bit of a sexual weirdo? Do you feel a bit guilty about letting your lusts get the better of you?  
Or do you feel comfortable with who you are and feel it is the rest of society that needs to lighten up and follow their dreams? 
My wife and I we're just having a chat about whether she thinks I'm weird or not for wanting to swing. We basically decided that my impulses, my desire to sexually explore, are perfectly natural...but that the way I'm going about it is unconventional i.e. by sharing this desire with her honestly and 'spiritually', wanting to include her in it, and looking to swing.
She figures that most men (80%?) have the desire to have sex with others. I'd probably agree...with the other 20% having a low sex drive. She recons only 1% swing and include their partners in this secret world. She also thinks that a lot of men (50%-70%?) have had a secret fling, affair, or moment of infidelity. I'd say that's pretty cynical lol...but I guess she could be right. I think a lot of men are straight jacketed by their moral/spiritual beliefs which give them guilt issues about their desires so I'd say probably only a third of men have cheated.
What would you say the real statistics on these issues are?    |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm getting kinkier with age. Like Femme I was brought up a Catholic, so took a while to shake off the guilt thing. It helps my kinks."
Give them a good ironing out |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So a lot of pervs here Does that mean you feel a bit uncomfortable with how over-sexed you are? Or are you wearing it as a badge of honor? lol
I guess the purpose of the OP was to gauge whether people felt they we're 'not normal'...and whether they associated any guilt with that or whether, instead, they felt good about it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont particularly like the sex act, i find it messy smelly and quite vulgar but like 73% of blokes im forced to perform by the Mrs, I would rather sit in front of the fire with my favourite cardigan on sipping Cocoa while watching Eastenders
Gimp |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I don't think wanting sex with a large variety of people is something to feel shame or guilt about. I'm just me, but instead of going to the local for a night out, I go to a club and have sexy fun.
Although there are people out there who think I am weird and dirty for wanting NSA sex, I don't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All depends on ones definition really.
It's not like I like to be wanked off with Marmite or anything.
I guess it's just interesting to see what you feel you are by your own definition Good to see some people over coming their guilt and throwing off those shackles   "
What guilt?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm getting kinkier with age. Like Femme I was brought up a Catholic, so took a while to shake off the guilt thing. It helps my kinks.
Give them a good ironing out Oh yes... "
Could do with a few ironing out too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thx for all the replies. Just for those who maybe missed the point of the OP...here it is a bit simpler
`
Assuming you agree that most people in society don't swing...
How do you feel about being one of the odd ones out? Do you feel comfortable with it and believe more people should be swingers? Or do you have a lingering discomfort which makes you feel a bit dirty...like there's something wrong with you?
`
There...does that make more sense?
Personally speaking...being on here sometimes makes me feel like I have an unusually high sex drive and that I'm unusually attracted to sexual thoughts about strangers. It may be that you feel that way too.
However, upon reflection, I'd say that most men have a similar sex drive and are similarly attracted to strangers but either guilt trip themselves into non-action or cheat. Therefore this feeling of being unusual and perhaps even 'perverse' is, I'd say, an illusion.
Instead I feel that swingers are actually channeling these sexual feelings in a much more positive way, including their partner in it and sharing a deeper truth with them that most men withhold.
So, for us, I'm not a pervert...I'm just a wonderful weirdo...in a positive way lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thx for all the replies. Just for those who maybe missed the point of the OP...here it is a bit simpler
`
Assuming you agree that most people in society don't swing...
How do you feel about being one of the odd ones out? Do you feel comfortable with it and believe more people should be swingers? Or do you have a lingering discomfort which makes you feel a bit dirty...like there's something wrong with you?
`
There...does that make more sense?
Personally speaking...being on here sometimes makes me feel like I have an unusually high sex drive and that I'm unusually attracted to sexual thoughts about strangers. It may be that you feel that way too.
However, upon reflection, I'd say that most men have a similar sex drive and are similarly attracted to strangers but either guilt trip themselves into non-action or cheat. Therefore this feeling of being unusual and perhaps even 'perverse' is, I'd say, an illusion.
Instead I feel that swingers are actually channeling these sexual feelings in a much more positive way, including their partner in it and sharing a deeper truth with them that most men withhold.
So, for us, I'm not a pervert...I'm just a wonderful weirdo...in a positive way lol "
I find it weird many people would rather watch porn than see it live(yes I mean swinging/group sex), or take part...
I actually have no interest in porn really...I'd rather be there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
How do you feel about being one of the odd ones out? "
I'm pretty much always the odd one out in vanilla world, i don't fit the stereotype of a 'bloke'. i don't like football, i don't really drink, i don't really gamble, i don't do families or kids, i don't follow conventional thinking in most ways unless it happens that it aligned with the way i choose to live- i've always been the square peg in the round hole. thats why i instantly felt at home when i found swing world- loads of square holes the right size |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"So a lot of pervs here Does that mean you feel a bit uncomfortable with how over-sexed you are? Or are you wearing it as a badge of honor? lol "
Neither. It's just how I am. I accept it about myself.
I'd like to be able to accept everything about myself so easily. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
How do you feel about being one of the odd ones out?
I'm pretty much always the odd one out in vanilla world, i don't fit the stereotype of a 'bloke'. i don't like football, i don't really drink, i don't really gamble, i don't do families or kids, i don't follow conventional thinking in most ways unless it happens that it aligned with the way i choose to live- i've always been the square peg in the round hole. thats why i instantly felt at home when i found swing world- loads of square holes the right size "
Square holes?!?!? Which parties have you been going to? lol  |
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No guilt whatsoever. Im in a bit of a minority but I have never wanted to gain acceptance by virtue of fitting in and I dont care if Im in a majority or minority - Im living my life in my way. Thats all that is important. And I formulate each relationship on what we both need and want - there is little if any point in comparing to others. |
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By *asyukMan
over a year ago
West London |
This is a self-selecting group so I doubt anyone feels like a pervert in here
However there seem to be some surprisingly judgmental people in threads. I wonder if they are taking out their guilt on others?
I think that your stats are in the right ballpark, but I think that the Internet is shifting the number of people who actually act on their desires because the opportunity is now there on their phone! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you feel you're a bit of a pervert, a bit of a sexual weirdo? Do you feel a bit guilty about letting your lusts get the better of you?
Or do you feel comfortable with who you are and feel it is the rest of society that needs to lighten up and follow their dreams?
My wife and I we're just having a chat about whether she thinks I'm weird or not for wanting to swing. We basically decided that my impulses, my desire to sexually explore, are perfectly natural...but that the way I'm going about it is unconventional i.e. by sharing this desire with her honestly and 'spiritually', wanting to include her in it, and looking to swing.
She figures that most men (80%?) have the desire to have sex with others. I'd probably agree...with the other 20% having a low sex drive. She recons only 1% swing and include their partners in this secret world. She also thinks that a lot of men (50%-70%?) have had a secret fling, affair, or moment of infidelity. I'd say that's pretty cynical lol...but I guess she could be right. I think a lot of men are straight jacketed by their moral/spiritual beliefs which give them guilt issues about their desires so I'd say probably only a third of men have cheated.
What would you say the real statistics on these issues are? "
I think the real stats for women that have had affairs would be very similar. Women are not either whores or virgins. They are people with the same lusts as men. Society (largly patriarchal) has castigated women for having or at least showing any sexual wants or needs. The lie back and think of England attitude still exists in plenty of women, and men that think that that is how women should be thinking. Thankfully it is becoming less and less the default mindset. But it's not going to happen overnight. Enlightenment never does. It takes a few generations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Assuming you agree that most people in society don't swing...
How do you feel about being one of the odd ones out? Do you feel comfortable with it and believe more people should be swingers? Or do you have a lingering discomfort which makes you feel a bit dirty...like there's something wrong with you?"
I'm quite comfortable with being on here and what I do but living in a very small tight knit community, I wouldn't want this part of my life to be made public. I've never felt dirty or as if there's something wrong with me. Felt wicked and naughty a few times though |
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"I find it weird many people would rather watch porn than see it live(yes I mean swinging/group sex), or take part...
I actually have no interest in porn really...I'd rather be there.
I think that's what made the penny drop for me. I was watching some threesome porn and suddenly thought...what the fuck am I watching this for when I could be doing it? And then I realised I'd never asked my wife whether she'd like a threesome...and the rest is history lol  "
Pretty much the same, love porn but would rather do,watch the real thing |
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