 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I've just seen someone's status...It reads:Never meet alone, not even for coffee 
It's scared the bejesus out of me and I now have a garlic press hidden in my boxers just in case..how are you going to stay safe on the mean streets of Fab meeting all the villainous sorts ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
" I've just seen someone's status...It reads:Never meet alone, not even for coffee
It's scared the bejesus out of me and I now have a garlic press hidden in my boxers just in case..how are you going to stay safe on the mean streets of Fab meeting all the villainous sorts ?"
I'll employ as much common sense as I can muster, keep my wits about me, trust my gut and take my chances. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" I've just seen someone's status...It reads:Never meet alone, not even for coffee
It's scared the bejesus out of me and I now have a garlic press hidden in my boxers just in case..how are you going to stay safe on the mean streets of Fab meeting all the villainous sorts ?
I'll employ as much common sense as I can muster, keep my wits about me, trust my gut and take my chances."
I need people like you in my team...can you shoot ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My rule is
Never meet someone who is not on their own
I wouldn't like to be out with you when you're on your own !"
no chance, I'm a time waster, I never turn up anyway |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
" I've just seen someone's status...It reads:Never meet alone, not even for coffee
It's scared the bejesus out of me and I now have a garlic press hidden in my boxers just in case..how are you going to stay safe on the mean streets of Fab meeting all the villainous sorts ?
I'll employ as much common sense as I can muster, keep my wits about me, trust my gut and take my chances.
I need people like you in my team...can you shoot ?"
I don't have the requisite hardware or a license for such, but to an extent, yes. It depends how big the target is |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Especially anyone who wants to use the toaster  "
Oddly enough... I was in a Premier Inn for the Jaydees social. It was my first stay in a Premier Inn since Toastergate.
Some muppet put muffins in the toaster...
It definitely wasn't Minxie either. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It looks like my chances of recruiting an army of Zombies are getting slimmer.  "
An army of zombies hiding behind you in Costa Coffee at a meet ? You haven't thought this through Tina. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Most of the single male profiles claim to be shooters  "
they spend all day shooting at barn doors and missing. Jams the bloody things shut too and it's disgusting. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Being on ones own is no guarantee of safety. I once had a wank when my cock was totally slippery with lube, watching hard core porn when on an upstroke, my fist slipped off my cock and I bopped myself one on the chin.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Being on ones own is no guarantee of safety. I once had a wank when my cock was totally slippery with lube, watching hard core porn when on an upstroke, my fist slipped off my cock and I bopped myself one on the chin. "
shit shag too, apparently |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"It looks like my chances of recruiting an army of Zombies are getting slimmer. An army of zombies hiding behind you in Costa Coffee at a meet ? You haven't thought this through Tina."
They hide behind my boobs  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Being on ones own is no guarantee of safety. I once had a wank when my cock was totally slippery with lube, watching hard core porn when on an upstroke, my fist slipped off my cock and I bopped myself one on the chin. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It looks like my chances of recruiting an army of Zombies are getting slimmer. An army of zombies hiding behind you in Costa Coffee at a meet ? You haven't thought this through Tina.
They hide behind my boobs "
That's a lorra lorra zombies !! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Being on ones own is no guarantee of safety. I once had a wank when my cock was totally slippery with lube, watching hard core porn when on an upstroke, my fist slipped off my cock and I bopped myself one on the chin. shit shag too, apparently "
Yeah that's a bit of a tired joke by now. I'll remove the amusing veri. I wouldn't want people with little imagination to think she was serious - there again, if they did, it would be an inbuilt filter for me so i might leave it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"Ha! A garlic press is so amateur....
Ha you'll be crying when I crush your bits in it then strain em into a teacup and drink em  "
Don't know about crying but I'm crossing my legs now. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I keep bursting into song when reading the title of this thread.
Danger..High voltage *cue flashing breasts *
 "
Put em away or ill get the cheese grater out too....that's really dangerous |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I always take my mum along. She likes coffee.....  "
I've heard about your mum...They even talk about her here in Welsh Wales. Man she has strong shoulders and forearms |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I always take my friend Mark (who is a ninja) to coffee meets just in case shit gets real."
shit is real...its nuts and sticks around places you least expect it. Watch your back around here. .and Mark's.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I always take my friend Mark (who is a ninja) to coffee meets just in case shit gets real.shit is real...its nuts and sticks around places you least expect it. Watch your back around here. .and Mark's. "
  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'll take femme with me....she would size them up and if they were out of line she would go Kung foo panda with her wedge heel "
wedgeheel? Isn't that pulling your shredders up tight between your buns ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" I've just seen someone's status...It reads:Never meet alone, not even for coffee
It's scared the bejesus out of me and I now have a garlic press hidden in my boxers just in case..how are you going to stay safe on the mean streets of Fab meeting all the villainous sorts ?"
Can I meet your garlic press....alone? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What about coming on the forums?
I come here alone... Is it safe? "
as the french attaché no doubt you have diplomatic protection from the people who like the alone thing. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'll take femme with me....she would size them up and if they were out of line she would go Kung foo panda with her wedge heel wedgeheel? Isn't that pulling your shredders up tight between your buns ? "
No they are a form of heel...get with it man!!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" I've just seen someone's status...It reads:Never meet alone, not even for coffee
It's scared the bejesus out of me and I now have a garlic press hidden in my boxers just in case..how are you going to stay safe on the mean streets of Fab meeting all the villainous sorts ?
Can I meet your garlic press....alone? "
Ahh another Lady from France....no doubt you'll have a few recipe's to use it with. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"[Removed by poster at 07/07/14 14:11:36]
Be careful (see above) "
I mis-spelt something and there is no edit function why are you picking on me you bully I am only little |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" I've just seen someone's status...It reads:Never meet alone, not even for coffee
It's scared the bejesus out of me and I now have a garlic press hidden in my boxers just in case..how are you going to stay safe on the mean streets of Fab meeting all the villainous sorts ?
Can I meet your garlic press....alone? Ahh another Lady from France....no doubt you'll have a few recipe's to use it with."
The one and only lady from France...and yes I'll get my best recipe out and will enjoy you slowly for a very long time...badly cooked garlic does that!! Haha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"[Removed by poster at 07/07/14 14:11:36]
Be careful (see above)
I mis-spelt something and there is no edit function why are you picking on me you bully I am only little "
I'm sorry? I'm not picking on you and I'm not a bully and I don't care for the accusation either. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What about coming on the forums?
I come here alone... Is it safe? as the french attaché no doubt you have diplomatic protection from the people who like the alone thing. "
... Merci, Feel lots better lol
" Maxie the forums are never safe....especially after dark "
... Will take my fire torch with me and leave before I turn into a pumkin  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" I've just seen someone's status...It reads:Never meet alone, not even for coffee
It's scared the bejesus out of me and I now have a garlic press hidden in my boxers just in case..how are you going to stay safe on the mean streets of Fab meeting all the villainous sorts ?
Can I meet your garlic press....alone? Ahh another Lady from France....no doubt you'll have a few recipe's to use it with.
The one and only lady from France...and yes I'll get my best recipe out and will enjoy you slowly for a very long time...badly cooked garlic does that!! Haha "
Me! I cook it slowly for a very long time...yummy!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"[Removed by poster at 07/07/14 14:11:36]
Be careful (see above)
I mis-spelt something and there is no edit function why are you picking on me you bully I am only little
I'm sorry? I'm not picking on you and I'm not a bully and I don't care for the accusation either. "
Sorry my humour did not come across well in the written form one can but apologise  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" I've just seen someone's status...It reads:Never meet alone, not even for coffee
It's scared the bejesus out of me and I now have a garlic press hidden in my boxers just in case..how are you going to stay safe on the mean streets of Fab meeting all the villainous sorts ?
Can I meet your garlic press....alone? Ahh another Lady from France....no doubt you'll have a few recipe's to use it with."
I like experimenting... so will use a new recipe on ya |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"[Removed by poster at 07/07/14 14:11:36]
Be careful (see above)
I mis-spelt something and there is no edit function why are you picking on me you bully I am only little
I'm sorry? I'm not picking on you and I'm not a bully and I don't care for the accusation either.
Sorry my humour did not come across well in the written form one can but apologise "
Growing a thick skin is a must in forums! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"[Removed by poster at 07/07/14 14:11:36]
Be careful (see above)
I mis-spelt something and there is no edit function why are you picking on me you bully I am only little
I'm sorry? I'm not picking on you and I'm not a bully and I don't care for the accusation either.
Sorry my humour did not come across well in the written form one can but apologise
Growing a thick skin is a must in forums! "
Oh great now I'm thick !!! Lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"[Removed by poster at 07/07/14 14:11:36]
Be careful (see above)
I mis-spelt something and there is no edit function why are you picking on me you bully I am only little
I'm sorry? I'm not picking on you and I'm not a bully and I don't care for the accusation either.
Sorry my humour did not come across well in the written form one can but apologise
Growing a thick skin is a must in forums!
Oh great now I'm thick !!! Lol "
Depends on which 'head' is thick really lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've fitted an electric fence for forum protection. Anyone disagreeing with me will get 5000 volts up their pitooty....
isnt pitooty a coastal town?"
If it is, it's the arse end of nowhere |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have access to firearms, wouldn't be prudent to fuck me off. "
There are eejiots all over the world with access to firearms. ...can you group, and double tap with rhythm...If so im not asking you for coffee on my own |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"[Removed by poster at 07/07/14 14:11:36]
Be careful (see above)
I mis-spelt something and there is no edit function why are you picking on me you bully I am only little
I'm sorry? I'm not picking on you and I'm not a bully and I don't care for the accusation either.
Sorry my humour did not come across well in the written form one can but apologise
Growing a thick skin is a must in forums!
Oh great now I'm thick !!! Lol
Depends on which 'head' is thick really lol "
Well one head is pierced and thick |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've fitted an electric fence for forum protection. Anyone disagreeing with me will get 5000 volts up their pitooty....
isnt pitooty a coastal town?
If it is, it's the arse end of nowhere "
Hahaha....The Backside of Beyond!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've fitted an electric fence for forum protection. Anyone disagreeing with me will get 5000 volts up their pitooty....
isnt pitooty a coastal town?
If it is, it's the arse end of nowhere
Hahaha....The Backside of Beyond!!! "
ooh I missed that little opportunity for smartarsedness
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've fitted an electric fence for forum protection. Anyone disagreeing with me will get 5000 volts up their pitooty....
isnt pitooty a coastal town?
If it is, it's the arse end of nowhere
Hahaha....The Backside of Beyond!!!
ooh I missed that little opportunity for smartarsedness
"
I noticed... what a bummer!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've fitted an electric fence for forum protection. Anyone disagreeing with me will get 5000 volts up their pitooty....
isnt pitooty a coastal town?"
Aye...its not worth a visit though..right shit hole! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" I've just seen someone's status...It reads:Never meet alone, not even for coffee
It's scared the bejesus out of me and I now have a garlic press hidden in my boxers just in case..how are you going to stay safe on the mean streets of Fab meeting all the villainous sorts ?
I'll employ as much common sense as I can muster, keep my wits about me, trust my gut and take my chances."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If you are a woman put a half knacker in your handbag ( a half knacker is half a house brick, named as when it hits you it doesn't half knacker). When trouble starts hit him with the handbag.
Or if he is trying to getaway from you, hit him so he can't. LoL |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Im not allowed out alone since the "incident"
Gimp
I remember a certain someone asking me if I wanted his babies "
Yeah and i remember you blew me out again lol
Bloody kids i cant even give em away
Gimp |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Some people love drama if your worried about your safety don't meet. Bringing a bodyguard is just OTT.
Has anyone met this way did the 3rd party talk or just sit their looking mean? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
