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Pathological liar
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Today I learnt that someone I once knew has gone to prison for theft. Now it seems it has taken the police some time to evaluate the case, because of the lies that he told. Rather fanciful lies too.
It hasn't surprised me in the least, because whilst this guy was very personable and entertaining, his stories were so far fetched, i never trusted him at all.
My question is, do you think people like this are curable? I would hope while he is in "the system" that this would be acknowledged, but I don't know.... |
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Some people get so used to lying that the lie about everything, even things that there is no possible excuse for lying about.
(please note I'm not excusing lying but suggesting that it is possible to see why some lies have come about) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lots of people are pathological liars unfortunately. you only have to Look at at the messages from some people in here for instance !! They think its all one big game but unfortunately people get hurt and let down by their actions and lies or worse. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Today I learnt that someone I once knew has gone to prison for theft. Now it seems it has taken the police some time to evaluate the case, because of the lies that he told. Rather fanciful lies too.
It hasn't surprised me in the least, because whilst this guy was very personable and entertaining, his stories were so far fetched, i never trusted him at all.
My question is, do you think people like this are curable? I would hope while he is in "the system" that this would be acknowledged, but I don't know...."
Some people lie habitually, or there's a psychological reason for it. They can be treated and helped, if not always cured.
Some people seem to be just wired that way, and it's an illness. They tend to be incurable. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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That's so sad. I don't excuse his crime, but he's someone's son, brother, partner and ... Not sure if it's actually true, father!! I bought the "baby" a present anyway - just not sure he's even real now  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not curable. Lying enslaves the liar eventually.
you eventually reap what you sow in life is my motto !
"
I've never known anyone quite like this guy though, as far the stories he told. Just bizarre ! And he'd even stop and say, " seriously!" , " this is true!". To the point I have said to mrnotts tonight it's almost like an illness. |
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My ex misses is/was a compulsive liar. So much so, because 'she' believed her own lies she could be VERY convincing. Even when I had solid proof of something she was denying, she could have me questing my own sanity.
As to why they do it, I've never been able to work that one out as she would 'lie by default' with no apparent reason or motive whatsoever. |
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My ex is a pathological liar. He has to be as otherwise everyone would know what a complete bellend he is.
He's sat telling me that his recent ex won't leave him alone and he's had to block her number and yet I've seen her phone (he's unaware we speak) and there's Pages of texts from him to her begging to get back together and then getting abusive when she ignores him.
His problem is he's lied so much to so many people he's starting to get caught out now as people are talking and things are coming to light x |
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"Not curable. Lying enslaves the liar eventually.
you eventually reap what you sow in life is my motto !
I've never known anyone quite like this guy though, as far the stories he told. Just bizarre ! And he'd even stop and say, " seriously!" , " this is true!". To the point I have said to mrnotts tonight it's almost like an illness. "
It is an illness - that's what pathology is. There are many kinds of psychological state that lead to delusional thought - they may indeed be deceiving themselves most of all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not curable. Lying enslaves the liar eventually.
you eventually reap what you sow in life is my motto !
I've never known anyone quite like this guy though, as far the stories he told. Just bizarre ! And he'd even stop and say, " seriously!" , " this is true!". To the point I have said to mrnotts tonight it's almost like an illness.
It is an illness - that's what pathology is. There are many kinds of psychological state that lead to delusional thought - they may indeed be deceiving themselves most of all."
At least I know Im crazy. its the ones who are crazy who dont realise it who you need to steer clear of ! Because I know Im crazy that surely makes me saner than most ! lol  |
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For a very long time I've believed that a pathological liars biggest fear/enemy is the 'truth'.
I have a close relation who was diagnosed then 45 years ago as schizophrenic, now the preferred term is bipolar, clinical depression causing psychological delusion, paranoia and irrational thinking and extreme mood swings giving the impression there is more than one character/person existing in the one body. As of about 15 years ago she had become immune to all available drugs that had otherwise allowed her to live a fairly normal life. However, nowadays she exists 99% of the time in a delusional psychotic state and there is nothing anyone or any drug can do to help.
From experience I can tell you that such a person has become impossible for the rest of the family to cope with or help.
There are two rules that must be applied at all times. You must never challenge or question their irrational thinking and at the same time you must never agree with their irrational thinking else it will compound the issue. So you can see how impossible it becomes!
Getting back to the pathological liar, if you challenge or question the lies you'll questioning their delusions. If you agree/accept the lies, you may compound the delusion...
How can you fix/cure such an impossible situation? |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"My ex misses is/was a compulsive liar. So much so, because 'she' believed her own lies she could be VERY convincing. Even when I had solid proof of something she was denying, she could have me questing my own sanity.
As to why they do it, I've never been able to work that one out as she would 'lie by default' with no apparent reason or motive whatsoever."
Lying without any purpose is one of the major factors of pathological lying, from what I know.
If someone lies for a purpose, for example to get themselves out of trouble, or for some gain, even they lie frequently, they're aren't technically pathological liars. If they do it as a means of control or for power of some kind, they aren't pathological liars.
Pathological liars lie spontaneously and for no apparent reason. |
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"
Lying without any purpose is one of the major factors of pathological lying, from what I know.
If someone lies for a purpose, for example to get themselves out of trouble, or for some gain, even they lie frequently, they're aren't technically pathological liars. If they do it as a means of control or for power of some kind, they aren't pathological liars.
Pathological liars lie spontaneously and for no apparent reason."
My wife and I were just discussing and arrived at the same conclusion. Comparing notes that concluded the her ex-hubby was/is a compulsive liar and my ex-wife was/is a pathological liar.
Think its fair to suggest that the compulsive liar is created, its a 'learned' behaviour, whereas the pathological liar is a psychological illness.
What if it followed that, as there are antidepressants to control clinical depression. Could you imagine a world where we could give someone a pill that made them tell the truth  |
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I have experienced being in a relationship with a pathological liar and its an impossible situation. I couldn't believe a word he said in the end and as someone else has said he could lie in the face of absolutely contradictory evidence to the point where I began to doubt myself.
This is partly why I value truth so highly, lies are hugely destructive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have experienced being in a relationship with a pathological liar and its an impossible situation. I couldn't believe a word he said in the end and as someone else has said he could lie in the face of absolutely contradictory evidence to the point where I began to doubt myself.
This is partly why I value truth so highly, lies are hugely destructive "
Same.  x |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I have experienced being in a relationship with a pathological liar and its an impossible situation. I couldn't believe a word he said in the end and as someone else has said he could lie in the face of absolutely contradictory evidence to the point where I began to doubt myself.
This is partly why I value truth so highly, lies are hugely destructive "
Agreed |
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"I have experienced being in a relationship with a pathological liar and its an impossible situation. I couldn't believe a word he said in the end and as someone else has said he could lie in the face of absolutely contradictory evidence to the point where I began to doubt myself.
This is partly why I value truth so highly, lies are hugely destructive "
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I apologise in advance if this gets too long, I'll try and keep it short...
One day I knocked some papers off a shelf. While picking it all up a hand written letter caught my eye and so I read it... a letter from my wife's 'bit-on-the-side'.
Not knowing what to do at the instant I put the love letter in a safe place while I thought about the best way to handle the situation. I decided that I'd give her best possible chance to confess, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I got her sat down one evening and started my patter, I lead the conversation into the subject matter and so on but in the end I just had to spell it out to her...
Me "Are you having an affair?"
Ex "NO, don't be silly"
Me "You are having an affair!"
Ex "No I'm not"
Me "You are having an affair with *Full name* plus other specific details"
Ex "No I'm not"
So at that point I went to get the love letter and this is where it got weird for me. As I reached for the draw handle my hand was shacking! I suddenly found I was TERRIFIED that when I opened the draw the love letter wouldn't be there and I had imagined the whole thing! For the longest few seconds of my life my mind was totally buggered, and that is how convincing she was! I felt like a PC that's just had a major crash, the screen turns blue and a message pops up, "I'm sorry there has been a serious psychological error. All data has been lost. Please contact the administrator"
I've no doubt that those of you with experience of a psychological liar will understand how it made me feel at the instant. |
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"I apologise in advance if this gets too long, I'll try and keep it short...
One day I knocked some papers off a shelf. While picking it all up a hand written letter caught my eye and so I read it... a letter from my wife's 'bit-on-the-side'.
Not knowing what to do at the instant I put the love letter in a safe place while I thought about the best way to handle the situation. I decided that I'd give her best possible chance to confess, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I got her sat down one evening and started my patter, I lead the conversation into the subject matter and so on but in the end I just had to spell it out to her...
Me "Are you having an affair?"
Ex "NO, don't be silly"
Me "You are having an affair!"
Ex "No I'm not"
Me "You are having an affair with *Full name* plus other specific details"
Ex "No I'm not"
So at that point I went to get the love letter and this is where it got weird for me. As I reached for the draw handle my hand was shacking! I suddenly found I was TERRIFIED that when I opened the draw the love letter wouldn't be there and I had imagined the whole thing! For the longest few seconds of my life my mind was totally buggered, and that is how convincing she was! I felt like a PC that's just had a major crash, the screen turns blue and a message pops up, "I'm sorry there has been a serious psychological error. All data has been lost. Please contact the administrator"
I've no doubt that those of you with experience of a psychological liar will understand how it made me feel at the instant."
Yep! I wonder what part of us it is that makes us doubt ourselves before we'll doubt someone else. |
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"
Yep! I wonder what part of us it is that makes us doubt ourselves before we'll doubt someone else."
I assumed at the time that I just wanted to believe her while at the same time I knew for a fact she was lying. Can't really explain it.
We also judge others by ourselves. I don't lie so I assume other tell the truth too, its my default mode so I guess it will always lean that way perhaps.
It's it strange I've noticed. When talking to a liar they tend not to believe you when you simply speak truth. But if you then tell them a story they tend to believe it to be real  |
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I can remember finally getting my ex into a room with counsellors, just to try and get some closure. I sat and listened to the self-justifying delusional falsehood he peddled as truth and all I could do was weep; just give up and grieve for the man I once so respected and admired, for it seemed there was no truth left in him at all.
Call it my baggage but I cannot tolerate bullshit now. I will not.
 |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I can remember finally getting my ex into a room with counsellors, just to try and get some closure. I sat and listened to the self-justifying delusional falsehood he peddled as truth and all I could do was weep; just give up and grieve for the man I once so respected and admired, for it seemed there was no truth left in him at all.
Call it my baggage but I cannot tolerate bullshit now. I will not.
"
I haven't faced lies to that extreme but I have had other experiences that have made me totally intolerant of certain shitty behaviour so I can understand that. |
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"I can remember finally getting my ex into a room with counsellors, just to try and get some closure. I sat and listened to the self-justifying delusional falsehood he peddled as truth and all I could do was weep; just give up and grieve for the man I once so respected and admired, for it seemed there was no truth left in him at all.
Call it my baggage but I cannot tolerate bullshit now. I will not.
I haven't faced lies to that extreme but I have had other experiences that have made me totally intolerant of certain shitty behaviour so I can understand that."
I love that motto: 'I'm not "moody" - I'm just less inclined to put up with your bullshit!!
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My ex misses is/was a compulsive liar. So much so, because 'she' believed her own lies she could be VERY convincing. Even when I had solid proof of something she was denying, she could have me questing my own sanity.
As to why they do it, I've never been able to work that one out as she would 'lie by default' with no apparent reason or motive whatsoever."
I've had two partners whom I eventually realised were exactly that!
It definitely ain't just a man thing, I realised, but just a grotesque human nature, unfortunately but to give this story a happy ending - if they're the correct words-, Karma didn't fail them!!
Sad money grabbing excuses for human beings, it could be said!!
But I'm more sad for them than bitter, truthfully. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"My ex misses is/was a compulsive liar. So much so, because 'she' believed her own lies she could be VERY convincing. Even when I had solid proof of something she was denying, she could have me questing my own sanity.
As to why they do it, I've never been able to work that one out as she would 'lie by default' with no apparent reason or motive whatsoever.
I've had two partners whom I eventually realised were exactly that!
It definitely ain't just a man thing, I realised, but just a grotesque human nature, unfortunately but to give this story a happy ending - if they're the correct words-, Karma didn't fail them!!
Sad money grabbing excuses for human beings, it could be said!!
But I'm more sad for them than bitter, truthfully. "
It's not grotesque human nature, if it's genuinely pathological lying, it's a mental illness.
It doesn't make it any easier to deal with but pathological liars don't lie in order to hurt anyone or to gain anything for themselves.
Now, people who lie for money, or control, or power are just nasty human beings, not pathological liars. |
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Everyone lies, even to themselves, so it sounds like a distorted natural habit. Anyone may overcome many behaviours if motivated and provided with support. Awareness, motivation and creating a new approach that is more fulfilmg is needed. But we wont stop all lies, it is natural to lie. |
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"
It doesn't make it any easier to deal with but pathological liars don't lie in order to hurt anyone or to gain anything for themselves.
"
Oh gosh they do, it may be intrinsic to their illness, for instance in narcissistic personality disorder, so it is largely beyond their perception let alone control, but they inflict an enormous amount of damage to other people in maintaining their delusions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It doesn't make it any easier to deal with but pathological liars don't lie in order to hurt anyone or to gain anything for themselves.
Oh gosh they do, it may be intrinsic to their illness, for instance in narcissistic personality disorder, so it is largely beyond their perception let alone control, but they inflict an enormous amount of damage to other people in maintaining their delusions."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mrs N's son is a Sociopath. He has become extremely unpredictable and constantly lies, tricks and cheats and gets really nasty when found out.
He has been in and out of the prison system but nothing seems to work. He lives in a world of chaos, drink and drugs. I did some research on it and although it's tempting to try and help all that person does is turn round and shit on you from a great height at some point.
No the best advice I can give is to steer clear of them as much as possible and to let them get on with their crap, disorganised chaotic world and hope that when it all comes crashing down again you are not involved in their web of deceit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In not so many words something similar happened to me with Mrs N's son. I used to save money in a tin for our holiday. Just a tenner here and a tenner there. I guess there must have been 4 or 500 pounds in there. It was a slot tin so I didn't know. It was exciting to open it just before going on holiday and see what was in it.
Her son had been kicked out of our home as he was drug addict and very nasty when I confronted him about it one day. Anyway he turned up while I wasn't there one day and Mrs N took pity on him and let him in so that he could have something to eat. Bear in mind he was in work and had opportunity to buy food. He just wastes it on drugs and alcohol.
Anyway to cut to chase she must have taken eye off him and he went through the draws in our bedroom.
When I got home I found to my horror the tin was missing. We tried to find the little bugger. We spoke to his friends and he had mysteriously come into some money so was off somewhere getting stoned. I thought I was going mad. Had I put it there. I had feeling She didn't believe me. I doubted myself.
For 2 days I agonised over what had happened. 2 days later she found the tin hidden under a side board, opened with a can opener with all the money gone. It was a relief that the mystery had been solved as it was very corrosive. 3 days later the he turned up at our door again and got into the house and said he was hungry. I confronted him about the tin of money and he said he hadn't done it.
Later on when I said I knew he'd done it and he was a piece of shit for doing it he punched me in the face and I lost a tooth. That is the only reward you will ever get from a vicious, socipathic thug like him.
No this type of person will never learn. They should be locked up in a mental institution where they can't do any harm to anyone. Horrid experience and there have been many more similar to it.
"I apologise in advance if this gets too long, I'll try and keep it short...
One day I knocked some papers off a shelf. While picking it all up a hand written letter caught my eye and so I read it... a letter from my wife's 'bit-on-the-side'.
Not knowing what to do at the instant I put the love letter in a safe place while I thought about the best way to handle the situation. I decided that I'd give her best possible chance to confess, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I got her sat down one evening and started my patter, I lead the conversation into the subject matter and so on but in the end I just had to spell it out to her...
Me "Are you having an affair?"
Ex "NO, don't be silly"
Me "You are having an affair!"
Ex "No I'm not"
Me "You are having an affair with *Full name* plus other specific details"
Ex "No I'm not"
So at that point I went to get the love letter and this is where it got weird for me. As I reached for the draw handle my hand was shacking! I suddenly found I was TERRIFIED that when I opened the draw the love letter wouldn't be there and I had imagined the whole thing! For the longest few seconds of my life my mind was totally buggered, and that is how convincing she was! I felt like a PC that's just had a major crash, the screen turns blue and a message pops up, "I'm sorry there has been a serious psychological error. All data has been lost. Please contact the administrator"
I've no doubt that those of you with experience of a psychological liar will understand how it made me feel at the instant.
Yep! I wonder what part of us it is that makes us doubt ourselves before we'll doubt someone else."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it depends on the person if its linked to mental health or behaviour problems it will probably always be the case if its someone that young and very immature then yes they might grow out of it, life knocks tend to make you grow up but I would honestly say most people that have such a trait outside of those will very likely always have it |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"
It doesn't make it any easier to deal with but pathological liars don't lie in order to hurt anyone or to gain anything for themselves.
Oh gosh they do, it may be intrinsic to their illness, for instance in narcissistic personality disorder, so it is largely beyond their perception let alone control, but they inflict an enormous amount of damage to other people in maintaining their delusions."
They don't do it with the intention of causing damage. Any damage or harm is incidental. That's part of the definition of an actual pathological liar. Their lies are pointless, rather than told with an end goal of gain, hurting someone or getting out of trouble.
If they lie to benefit themselves, they may be habitual liars but they aren't pathological liars. |
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"
It doesn't make it any easier to deal with but pathological liars don't lie in order to hurt anyone or to gain anything for themselves.
Oh gosh they do, it may be intrinsic to their illness, for instance in narcissistic personality disorder, so it is largely beyond their perception let alone control, but they inflict an enormous amount of damage to other people in maintaining their delusions.
They don't do it with the intention of causing damage. Any damage or harm is incidental. That's part of the definition of an actual pathological liar. Their lies are pointless, rather than told with an end goal of gain, hurting someone or getting out of trouble.
If they lie to benefit themselves, they may be habitual liars but they aren't pathological liars."
Well, we'll have to agree to disagree on the definition of a pathological liar in the context of this thread - NPD is a pathology and causes people to lie to benefit themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think it's so much a curable condition but I do think a person can reach an epiphany brought about by a life-changing experience which overrides their previous need to create an altered perception of who they really are...  |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"
It doesn't make it any easier to deal with but pathological liars don't lie in order to hurt anyone or to gain anything for themselves.
Oh gosh they do, it may be intrinsic to their illness, for instance in narcissistic personality disorder, so it is largely beyond their perception let alone control, but they inflict an enormous amount of damage to other people in maintaining their delusions.
They don't do it with the intention of causing damage. Any damage or harm is incidental. That's part of the definition of an actual pathological liar. Their lies are pointless, rather than told with an end goal of gain, hurting someone or getting out of trouble.
If they lie to benefit themselves, they may be habitual liars but they aren't pathological liars.
Well, we'll have to agree to disagree on the definition of a pathological liar in the context of this thread - NPD is a pathology and causes people to lie to benefit themselves. "
Pathological liar has a specific meaning. It's a condition in its own right.
Someone may well be a habitual liar but they aren't a pathological liar unless their lies are not for gain. It's possible that someone lies as part of another condition but that counts as a symptom of the condition, not the specific condition known as "pathological lying".
There's also a type of liar characterised by lying to fill in memory blanks. I can't remember the name.
This started as an aside, pointing out the differences as a point of interest. I'm aware that the OP may not be intended to be strictly about pathological liars.
However, the point is relevant to the question of whether it is curable. Pathological lying usually isn't curable. Lying as part of another condition, or simply because they're an arse may be, depending on the exact reason. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"And further I believe some habitual liars are enslaved by their lying and so also pretty much incurable."
I totally agree.
I didn't mean to suggest that if it's not pathological lying by the recognised definition then it's curable. It may be, it may not.
I've encountered some chronic habitual liars, some on here, but I haven't knowingly met a pathological liar.
I think wondering what was the point of lying about what you had for breakfast, for example, would drive me loopy, even though I know there was no point. |
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"And further I believe some habitual liars are enslaved by their lying and so also pretty much incurable."
A pathological list will in my experienced just alter their version of events to avoid enslavement. It will also eventually become the fault of someone else if they really get painted into a corner or the funniest reason I ever got was "I was testing you"
I laugh about it...now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My ex is a pathological liar. He has to be as otherwise everyone would know what a complete bellend he is.
He's sat telling me that his recent ex won't leave him alone and he's had to block her number and yet I've seen her phone (he's unaware we speak) and there's Pages of texts from him to her begging to get back together and then getting abusive when she ignores him.
His problem is he's lied so much to so many people he's starting to get caught out now as people are talking and things are coming to light x "
I came across a guy like this recently, he got found out and I got chatting to his ex, when backed into a corner he denied even knowing me although there was loads of proof!! I've come to accept I'll never know why but I do wonder if I'll ever trust anyone again!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What's them people called who if you went to the beach , they went to the beach and went in the sea . So if you then say oh yes I also went in the sea and caught some shrimps they then say oh yes well I caught a shark etc etc
Them people do my fecking head in |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"What's them people called who if you went to the beach , they went to the beach and went in the sea . So if you then say oh yes I also went in the sea and caught some shrimps they then say oh yes well I caught a shark etc etc
Them people do my fecking head in "
Braggarts? |
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"And further I believe some habitual liars are enslaved by their lying and so also pretty much incurable.
I totally agree.
I didn't mean to suggest that if it's not pathological lying by the recognised definition then it's curable. It may be, it may not.
I've encountered some chronic habitual liars, some on here, but I haven't knowingly met a pathological liar.
I think wondering what was the point of lying about what you had for breakfast, for example, would drive me loopy, even though I know there was no point."
Yes, I have a good friend who is enormous fun but very narcissisitic, a total womaniser, and bullshits all the time. He loves me he says in part because he knows if he asks me a question he will get a 100% honest answer. We have long heart to heart discssions about the psychology of relationships at 3am.
And yet still he cannot help bullshitting me over the tiniest most insignificant things, even when I say ''Just stop it, I can see straight through it!' he cannot even admit it.
Sometimes I just have to walk away for a few weeks, it gets to my soul sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What's them people called who if you went to the beach , they went to the beach and went in the sea . So if you then say oh yes I also went in the sea and caught some shrimps they then say oh yes well I caught a shark etc etc
Them people do my fecking head in "
My black cat is blacker than your black cat?!!
Ok so this guy is early 40s and tells lies not for gain. Every other liar I have encountered has done so for a reason.
Thanks for all the contributions by the way, it's been very interesting reading your replies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And further I believe some habitual liars are enslaved by their lying and so also pretty much incurable."
I would agree with that as my mum lies but doesn't back it up and when she gets found out, she denies it and makes up another story! I now no longer believe anything she says as I've some times no way of knowing whether it really is the truth or just another lie |
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"And further I believe some habitual liars are enslaved by their lying and so also pretty much incurable.
I would agree with that as my mum lies but doesn't back it up and when she gets found out, she denies it and makes up another story! I now no longer believe anything she says as I've some times no way of knowing whether it really is the truth or just another lie "
I roll out one of my favourite quotes:
“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”
? Friedrich Nietzsche |
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Just touching back to the example I posted re: ex-wife/affair and thinking on the idea that the pathological liar is not out for gain, and doesn't see themself as doing any wrong...
In the days that followed lets call it 'exposure day' as you might imagine, yes I was a bit bitchy to her. Bit of background information, the 'boyfriend' was younger than my ex, I am older than my ex and so the mother of the boyfriend was older than me but not by much.
So I've just put the phone down and ex asks who I was talking to, "I was just making arrangements with Jill (made up name for lover-boys mum), I'm going out for a drink with her Friday evening and if all goes well we'll go back to her place and I'll fuck her brains out".
Now as you might imagine the ex went ballistic but as things settled it became apparent that in her mind she had done no wrong but at the same time betraying our marriage (as I was suggesting I would with Jill) was the most appalling despicable act anyone could commit. And all the time I just could not get her to say that she had done wrong! I got the impression that in her mind it didn't happen at all!
Keep in mind I'm just using ONE example here. There were loads of events of one sort or another while only a couple were of an affair/sexual nature. You could always tell when she was lying as her lips moved But there were acts of fraud and theft that in terms of value were of no significance, hence no perceived gain as such! |
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