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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
Today is the funeral of a university friend. (I'm off to it shortly, some of you will be glad to hear).
I don't know exactly how old he was, somewhere in his 50's, I think, but he died relatively young.
Should funerals be sad and sombre affairs or would you prefer yours to be a celebration of your life, with people sharing happy memories? |
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"Today is the funeral of a university friend. (I'm off to it shortly, some of you will be glad to hear).
I don't know exactly how old he was, somewhere in his 50's, I think, but he died relatively young.
Should funerals be sad and sombre affairs or would you prefer yours to be a celebration of your life, with people sharing happy memories?"
I would much prefer mine to be happy but since they are more for the living than the dead I think people should be how they want to be at them.
My mum has given me strict instructions for hers right down to the food. There is to be no sombreness but we can be a little sad  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have decided to a bit of a cnut when i die (some will think thats no change from life  )
I am not having a funeral, already arranged that my remains will simply be taken to a crematorium for disposal with no ceremony.
That may seem a little callous to some of you, given that i will probably be leaving grieving family and friends behind, but i cant stand all the weeping and wailing and have no intention of giving those i dont get on with a chance to celebrate my demise. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"We played RHCP and Eminem at my brother's funeral last year. He'd have hated hymns, it wasn't his thing at all.
Some people found it strange and a few thought it inappropriate."
Who gives a shit what others thought? If it represented your brother then that's all that mattered.  |
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"We played RHCP and Eminem at my brother's funeral last year. He'd have hated hymns, it wasn't his thing at all.
Some people found it strange and a few thought it inappropriate."
my aunt requested "You'll Never Walk Alone" at hers last year. Try singing that without accompaniment and no footie in the foreground |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We played RHCP and Eminem at my brother's funeral last year. He'd have hated hymns, it wasn't his thing at all.
Some people found it strange and a few thought it inappropriate.
my aunt requested "You'll Never Walk Alone" at hers last year. Try singing that without accompaniment and no footie in the foreground "
I want YNWA at mine, but the rest better be a celebration of life. I'll have had a good one.
As for accompaniment maybe I'll lay down the guide vocal and guitar accompaniment now, while I still can |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"We played RHCP and Eminem at my brother's funeral last year. He'd have hated hymns, it wasn't his thing at all.
Some people found it strange and a few thought it inappropriate.Who gives a shit what others thought? If it represented your brother then that's all that mattered. "
We didn't care. He'd have liked it. |
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"We played RHCP and Eminem at my brother's funeral last year. He'd have hated hymns, it wasn't his thing at all.
Some people found it strange and a few thought it inappropriate.
my aunt requested "You'll Never Walk Alone" at hers last year. Try singing that without accompaniment and no footie in the foreground
I want YNWA at mine, but the rest better be a celebration of life. I'll have had a good one.
As for accompaniment maybe I'll lay down the guide vocal and guitar accompaniment now, while I still can "
I would! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have two funerals next week, and unfortunately they are both only youngsters, one was 26 and the other 18, and friends of my children. Although they both died tragically we've been asked to make it a celebration of their life and to dress brightly.
I would like people to remember me with joy and not sorrow when my time comes  |
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"Wear what you like to mine just dont cause offence to the other person who will be there (not me, the other one who is alive, probably lost, bored or wrong church wrong time)"
I'd like mine to be a formal wear funeral. Little black dresses natch, but colours too, the more dressy the better. Oh and fabulous heels please! Even on some of the boys.
The music will be a mix of hymns (I am religious though quietly and with a small r) and something contemporary possibly Do you realize by the Flaming Lips, maybe a bit of Polyphonic Spree and possibly some Antony and the Johnsons as a tearjerker.
I want lots of flowers but would prefer ones cut from people's gardens to formal arrangements and you can all cry as much as you like as long as there's lots of laughter too.
Oh and a cardboard casket decorated by any children of my family and friends completely in a manner of their choosing and I want a woodland burial.
Nah VV, I haven't really thought about it at all... |
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By *9MarkMan
over a year ago
North Cheam |
I was at a funeral yesterday for my pals mum (61)who left behind 5 kids 17 grandchildren and one great grandchild yes of course there was tears but then there was laughter, it was one of the best sendoffs I've been to and they released 5 white doves it was well nice then of course there was the wake and everybody had a fantastic time everyone there yesterday Will remember yesterday and that's what it's all about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd quite like a funeral pyre but not sure they're allowed anymore  "
i think they are allowed under certain circumstances related to your heritage and cultural reasons.
check your family tree for vikings etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd quite like a funeral pyre but not sure they're allowed anymore
i think they are allowed under certain circumstances related to your heritage and cultural reasons.
check your family tree for vikings etc "
1902 Crematorium Act banned them in this country. Also having just read what DEFRA say about pollutants from burning bodies out doors, I'll leave it to the films |
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"My swinging buddy his funeral is next week I am extremely unsure if I should go or not "
Me personally I wouldn't go because I'd feel so uncomfortable around family I'd never met...it's their day and I'd remember him some other way but that's just me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd quite like a funeral pyre but not sure they're allowed anymore
i think they are allowed under certain circumstances related to your heritage and cultural reasons.
check your family tree for vikings etc
1902 Crematorium Act banned them in this country. Also having just read what DEFRA say about pollutants from burning bodies out doors, I'll leave it to the films "
There is a recent precedent
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tyne/8507811.stm
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My swinging buddy his funeral is next week I am extremely unsure if I should go or not
Me personally I wouldn't go because I'd feel so uncomfortable around family I'd never met...it's their day and I'd remember him some other way but that's just me. "
That's what I was thinking tbh x |
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"My swinging buddy his funeral is next week I am extremely unsure if I should go or not
Me personally I wouldn't go because I'd feel so uncomfortable around family I'd never met...it's their day and I'd remember him some other way but that's just me.
That's what I was thinking tbh x"
I would hate to answer questions as to how we know each other and you don't know how welcoming the family would be x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My swinging buddy his funeral is next week I am extremely unsure if I should go or not
Me personally I wouldn't go because I'd feel so uncomfortable around family I'd never met...it's their day and I'd remember him some other way but that's just me.
That's what I was thinking tbh x
I would hate to answer questions as to how we know each other and you don't know how welcoming the family would be x"
Decided to arrange flowers instead |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It should be a celebration of life. At my Mum''s we played "Always a Woman" for the coffin coming in & "Rockin all over the World" as her coffin was carried out. The songs made me smile despite how desperately sad I felt. She'd picked the Status Quo one. I deliberately wore a red coat too, as she didn't like black. In fact a colleague was telling me today what a cheerful funeral it was, as we have one to attend next week.
I've told my family - I'd like cheerful hymns & songs. They know the one song that sums me up & I know they'll have that one. Whether I'm buried or cremated - that's their choice , as I won't be here to worry about it.
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"My swinging buddy his funeral is next week I am extremely unsure if I should go or not
Me personally I wouldn't go because I'd feel so uncomfortable around family I'd never met...it's their day and I'd remember him some other way but that's just me.
That's what I was thinking tbh x
I would hate to answer questions as to how we know each other and you don't know how welcoming the family would be x
Decided to arrange flowers instead "
Why don't you take a bunch of flowers to the grave and lay them then and say a personal see you later |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd quite like a funeral pyre but not sure they're allowed anymore
i think they are allowed under certain circumstances related to your heritage and cultural reasons.
check your family tree for vikings etc
1902 Crematorium Act banned them in this country. Also having just read what DEFRA say about pollutants from burning bodies out doors, I'll leave it to the films
There is a recent precedent
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tyne/8507811.stm
"
Hmmm....missed that he got the original judgement overturned. Don't think my cultural heritage would sway any argument though |
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My mum wants to be put on a canal boat and fire arrows shot onto it as it floats down the canal...I said fuck that I'm not asking permission for that!!! I think you can still have a Viking style funeral in Denmark if I remember rightly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My swinging buddy his funeral is next week I am extremely unsure if I should go or not
Me personally I wouldn't go because I'd feel so uncomfortable around family I'd never met...it's their day and I'd remember him some other way but that's just me.
That's what I was thinking tbh x
I would hate to answer questions as to how we know each other and you don't know how welcoming the family would be x
Decided to arrange flowers instead
Why don't you take a bunch of flowers to the grave and lay them then and say a personal see you later "
That's a nice idea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My mum wants to be put on a canal boat and fire arrows shot onto it as it floats down the canal...I said fuck that I'm not asking permission for that!!! I think you can still have a Viking style funeral in Denmark if I remember rightly "
Could be tricky if the archer doesn't have a good aim |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My mum wants to be put on a canal boat and fire arrows shot onto it as it floats down the canal...I said fuck that I'm not asking permission for that!!! I think you can still have a Viking style funeral in Denmark if I remember rightly "
Lets put the Danes in charge for a while, spread some hygge |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd quite like a funeral pyre but not sure they're allowed anymore
i think they are allowed under certain circumstances related to your heritage and cultural reasons.
check your family tree for vikings etc
1902 Crematorium Act banned them in this country. Also having just read what DEFRA say about pollutants from burning bodies out doors, I'll leave it to the films
There is a recent precedent
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tyne/8507811.stm
Hmmm....missed that he got the original judgement overturned. Don't think my cultural heritage would sway any argument though "
hmmm, i wonder if it would be allowed for jedi's |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
It should be fun. I've said before I want a stand up comedian to pretend to be the Padre at mine and to start off normal before completely subverting the service for comedy ends. I want Fire by the Crazy World of Arthur Brown to play when they cremate me. Sponsorship by British Gas, naturally. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"My body is going to the Anatomy Dept at Glasgow Uni. "
My brother wanted to be an organ donor but the need for a post-mortem meant that the time requirement couldn't be met and he wasn't able to be. |
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By *nnyMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"My body is going to the Anatomy Dept at Glasgow Uni.
My brother wanted to be an organ donor but the need for a post-mortem meant that the time requirement couldn't be met and he wasn't able to be."
Yes, there's no 100% guarantee for body donation. It can come down to something as simple as storage space. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was at 1 tuesay m8's,you g/friend,36 she was.just
Tupac, p,diddy.
No hymns
A celebration of life it was called.
Much better than the old stuffy ones.
She wanted us to party and we duly obeyed.
Boss was not to happy next day when I rolled in to work at gone ten.
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By *D40Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Today is the funeral of a university friend. (I'm off to it shortly, some of you will be glad to hear).
I don't know exactly how old he was, somewhere in his 50's, I think, but he died relatively young.
Should funerals be sad and sombre affairs or would you prefer yours to be a celebration of your life, with people sharing happy memories?"
Personally i think funerals are a marvellous opportunity to really get to know a person. The stories you hear about older relatives are sometimes eye opening and make you realise they were human with a gsoh too.
I hope when my time comes someone stands up & has a flipping good time talking about me and my shananigans |
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Should definitely be a celebration of the life that person had. My cousin died suddenly a couple of years back and that's exactly what we did. Ok so there were lots of tears but also lots of laughter. Big bowls of his favourite sweeties at the pub afterwards and he went out to wanna be like you from the jungle book which was just 'very him'. Great day with great memories which is as it should be |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like idea of a living wake, as in people hold the celebration of your life. Only good thing is you are there to enjoy it with them.
If I can't have that I want it to be a celebration of my life, |
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Sackcloth and ashes followed by them jumping on top of my coffin with plenty of weeping and wailing. A year of grief should be adequate and appropriate I think!
I've told my kids no horse and carriage, no ostentation whatsoever, no long faces. I've had a good life: celebrate it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When. Cremated my husband almost 3yrs ago. We did nothing but laugh throughout the funeral it was a celebration of his life. I even had the theme to red dwarf as we left the crem . I shed my tears later in private
Had lots of comments at the wake saying that it was the best funeral they had ever been to.
So a funeral should be a celebration of that persons life and what they meant to you .  |
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By *rforfunCouple
over a year ago
Bedford |
I have a funeral tommrow of a freind I lost contact with a few years ago, was in his early 40's and died from alcohol abuse, I wish I had been a better freind and had been there for him. I have found this last week very hard and not had meany people to talk to about this as I feel guilty for grieving as we have not spoken for a few years. Not looking for sympathy just wanted to share. A x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have a family funeral to attend next Monday. Kate's cousin. He was 48 and Down Syndrome, and no one expected him to make it much past 16, but we celebrated his 21st, then his 30th and 40th. We were hoping he'd see 50 but it wasn't to be.
Anyway, we're going to give him a good send off  |
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I think funerals need to respect the sadness and loss that most will feel very strongly. But I also like them to reflect the person, so someone funny would be ideal with a fun component. Im having a party at mine and key people will be sent overseas for a great party. Loads of good music, exploration and laughter etc. It is in my will and budgeted for. Just a shame I wont be around for it. |
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One of the city's top heart surgery specialists died and at his funeral his coffin was placed in front of a huge replica of a heart made of red roses.
When the vicar finished the sermon and everyone said their good-byes, the large heart opened up, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed again. It was a majestic tribute to the much loved cardiologist.
Suddenly, one of the mourners burst into a fit of laughter and irritated by his insensitivity, the man sitting next to him asked, "Why the hell are you laughing, Mister?"
"I was just thinking about my own funeral," the man replied. "I'm a gynaecologist" |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Celebrate people when they are still here and you can enjoy them.
Funerals and wakes serve a really useful and basic human function to reminisce and close a chapter.
One of my best beloved friends died two years ago and helping to plan his funeral with his wife and the grown up children was my pleasure. Yes, we had some tears but we had the biggest party after. Live music, people getting up and performing, a huge marquee and we ended with Chinese lanterns and candlelit walk back to the house. Everyone looked beautiful and we danced long and hard knowing we had spent many such occasions with him there in the past. That was the best bit - knowing it felt like a party he was at and enjoying.
I have the music planned for the funeral but I don't expect much of a wake. However, should there be one you would all be welcome. My family would love to see the people who have brought joy to my life.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's my buddy's funeral tomorrow
I won't go
It's not appropriate I don't think
I have sent a spray of flowers to the undertakers
I will go to the grave after it's all over feeling sad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My grandmother wanted to leave her body to science but it was rejected so we ended up with an eco funeral, cardboard coffin and everyone brightly coloured, same for my brother, his coffin was wicker at his funeral we played the darkness I believe in a thing called love |
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I've been to too many funerals. Many taken way before their time.
However, for me funerals should be a celebration of life. My families funerals have all been joyous occasions, d*unken memories of the lost one, some sad, some funny, some just plain old ripping the piss.
Mine will be the same, no mourning dress, all to wear purple and a red hat that doesn't match. I've chosen my songs, no hymns. And I've put money aside for the party after!! |
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Irish Catholic funerals are a 3 day affair with the wake being a celebration of the life lived.
Day one being the sad a sombre reading of the rosery and day 2 the day of personal reflection while the coffen lays either open or closed in the curch and people can visit throughout the day to say their on personal goodbyes.
Then church and burial service on day 3.
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
My grandmas funeral at the age off 99 was a celebration of lufe for sure.
She was a miliner so made hats. She loved them. So we requested as many ladies to wear hats at the funeral. It was great. I chose the most colourful hatbi could afford. It was yelliw and orange. I then found a tunic yellow top with white trousers. Bright yellow shoes wiyh orange handbag and jewellery.
It was lovely. Grandma would have loved it xx |
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"Irish Catholic funerals are a 3 day affair with the wake being a celebration of the life lived.
Day one being the sad a sombre reading of the rosery and day 2 the day of personal reflection while the coffen lays either open or closed in the curch and people can visit throughout the day to say their on personal goodbyes.
Then church and burial service on day 3.
"
My first experience of a funeral was Irish Catholic, my Nannas brother, I was 5 years old, and taken along on day 2. Apparently I prodded him, asked why he was cold, kisssed him and sat in the corner with my colouring book.
I think this is why I am so open about death, it has just always been a part of my life, as much as births and weddings. |
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"Irish Catholic funerals are a 3 day affair with the wake being a celebration of the life lived.
Day one being the sad a sombre reading of the rosery and day 2 the day of personal reflection while the coffen lays either open or closed in the curch and people can visit throughout the day to say their on personal goodbyes.
Then church and burial service on day 3.
My first experience of a funeral was Irish Catholic, my Nannas brother, I was 5 years old, and taken along on day 2. Apparently I prodded him, asked why he was cold, kisssed him and sat in the corner with my colouring book.
I think this is why I am so open about death, it has just always been a part of my life, as much as births and weddings. "
I wouldn't take kids on day one either as it is basically an hour sat saying a lot of hail marys and our fathers over the body. I actually am not sure they are even allowed as I have never known any kids to be at one. I do think it a lovely way ti do it as it gives you a day of sadness a day of reflection and a day of celebtation.
It is the kind of funeral service I would like only I want to be cremated |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My friend died last year he was only in his 40s.he had a cracking sence of humour he was a tall guy and at his funeral he had his work boots sticking out of the bottom of his coffin it had everybody in stitches |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I expect people to be weeping & wailing, rending their clothes, and throwing themselves onto my funeral pyre. Failing that, lifting a pint to me will do."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have two funerals next week, and unfortunately they are both only youngsters, one was 26 and the other 18, and friends of my children. Although they both died tragically we've been asked to make it a celebration of their life and to dress brightly.
I would like people to remember me with joy and not sorrow when my time comes "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Someone close to me did this and for those left behind it was awful. It's almost as if there's no closure, not to mention all the phone calls asking why, people not believing that it wasn't down to us. we were just carrying out wishes (that we knew nothing about until her death). It was, in my opinion a very selfish thing to do and I still find it hard to come to terms with her death. I appreciate that everyone is different, but I for one don't like the no funeral idea xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd like to be cremated, my partner/husband and kids can decide if they want to keep any of the ashes, then the rest scattered somewhere nice.
I'd want my funeral to be happy, no one to wear black, and have a reet good party |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Here we celebrate the persons life,lots of booze,laughing and the obligatory sing song
thats pretty much how we celebrate everything here"
Sounds good.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today is the funeral of a university friend. (I'm off to it shortly, some of you will be glad to hear).
I don't know exactly how old he was, somewhere in his 50's, I think, but he died relatively young.
Should funerals be sad and sombre affairs or would you prefer yours to be a celebration of your life, with people sharing happy memories?"
I'm really sorry about your friend.
xx
At my mother's funeral in 2004 (Irish Catholic.)
My Uncle from my Father's side, who was in his 80's and had suffered a brain haemorrhage so he wasn't always very well had been dressed up in a suit and was looking dapper. As he approached my Mother's coffin his braces suddenly pinged off, he was left standing there in these very large white y-fronts, just flapping in the breeze. The funeral parlour was FULL of people, myself and my brothers raced to him to try and save his embarrassment, he was none the wiser bless him.
I know for a fact my Mother would have been calling him a 'fecking eejit'.
The funeral on the whole was a mixture of tears,laughter and reminiscing.
I think that's how she wanted it and it's how I want mine to be.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have requested mine is a laugh, take the piss out of my cranky ways when I'm dead and gone.
I have picked two songs that are big for me where my kids are concerned.
Other than that celebrate my life with a cheese roll and a beer back at mine
Her |
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"Someone close to me did this and for those left behind it was awful. It's almost as if there's no closure, not to mention all the phone calls asking why, people not believing that it wasn't down to us. we were just carrying out wishes (that we knew nothing about until her death). It was, in my opinion a very selfish thing to do and I still find it hard to come to terms with her death. I appreciate that everyone is different, but I for one don't like the no funeral idea xxx"
Sorry but did what? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we had a hoohar at my last partners funeral - he wanted to be naked (under the silk sheet0 - his mum had a suit put on him - he would have wanted a certain joy division and a jam song played but a hymn was chosen - our song was played as he went through the curtain - then we had a quiet do at a hotel - then tada - straight to the pub to do it his way - music played loud - drinks and food he would have liked - all well in the end |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me being sad n lonely. On here for company really. Dont spread my news but, this forum came up, ive been thru alot this past 9 months yes was seeing soneone had been together 3yrs. In october last yr she waa diagnosed with cancer, i was by her aide every step thru treatment, hardest thing to see was her deteriation, she lost her life in may. Still greiving but hate being on my own!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My body is going to the Anatomy Dept at Glasgow Uni.
They still pay in advance don't they?
No money is involved."
Aww sod that then used to be a few hundred quid just for the skeleton |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me being sad n lonely. On here for company really. Dont spread my news but, this forum came up, ive been thru alot this past 9 months yes was seeing soneone had been together 3yrs. In october last yr she waa diagnosed with cancer, i was by her aide every step thru treatment, hardest thing to see was her deteriation, she lost her life in may. Still greiving but hate being on my own!!"
is exactly what i went through - you do come out the other side - and ive never been happier than now - you wont feel that now but it will happen - x |
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