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Wedding
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It appears that Fireblade has proposed to Mrs sexy couple so I'm buying a hat!
It does mean that there will be vacancies for best man, bridesmaids, ushers etc. Who's volunteering for what and where's the venue going to be?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oooooh a new hat means a new pair of shoes to match, might have to be wellies though if it's in a field.
I volunteer to be the caterer for the reception,
lots of sausages and rolls required. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oooooh a new hat means a new pair of shoes to match, might have to be wellies though if it's in a field.
I volunteer to be the caterer for the reception,
lots of sausages and rolls required. "
Can there be cake too? |
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"Oh can I be a bridesmaid? 
You'll have to wear a meringue of dubious colour - oooh we need a colour scheme! 
will let you decide TD"
Hmmmmm... I'm thinking candy pink with accents of yellow.
Suitably unflattering to every complexion I think |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ooh can I be a bridesmaid please?
I'd be great at holding your train, getting d*unk and sleeping with an usher round the back of the reception "
Be a honor. Isnt it compulsory to have a free for all sex sesh? |
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"Oooooh a new hat means a new pair of shoes to match, might have to be wellies though if it's in a field.
I volunteer to be the caterer for the reception,
lots of sausages and rolls required.
Can there be cake too?"
What's a wedding without cake? Aren't weddings simply an excuse for cake, champagne and pressies? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oooooh a new hat means a new pair of shoes to match, might have to be wellies though if it's in a field.
I volunteer to be the caterer for the reception,
lots of sausages and rolls required.
Can there be cake too?
What's a wedding without cake? Aren't weddings simply an excuse for cake, champagne and pressies? "
and sex xx |
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"I'm more than happy to be the best man 
Just lead me to the bridesmaids  
No bridesmaids till you've fulfilled your best manly duty - you've got to get Bladey to the venue reasonably sober, fully kitted out in whatever outfit the forum wedding planners deem appropriate and in a reasonably good mood! 
Good luck with that "
In a good mood not if its an early 1 lmfao |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm more than happy to be the best man
Just lead me to the bridesmaids
No bridesmaids till you've fulfilled your best manly duty - you've got to get Bladey to the venue reasonably sober, fully kitted out in whatever outfit the forum wedding planners deem appropriate and in a reasonably good mood!
Good luck with that "
I can do all of the above except guaranteeing his mood; can we have the wedding in the afternoon ?
You know what a grumpy arse he is in the mornings
And the groom's outfit will be a natty shade of cream with long arms, and buckles to strap then to the back |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh can I be a bridesmaid?
You'll have to wear a meringue of dubious colour - oooh we need a colour scheme!
will let you decide TD
Hmmmmm... I'm thinking candy pink with accents of yellow.
Suitably unflattering to every complexion I think "
Shouldn't it be peach? With ruffles? And shoulder pads? A proper nod to the 80's lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Haha Bladey...fookin classic
Shut it your suposed to have my back remember  "
I'm not going anywhere near your back
But I'll do the service for you. I look good in my priestly garb |
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"Oh can I be a bridesmaid?
You'll have to wear a meringue of dubious colour - oooh we need a colour scheme!
will let you decide TD
Hmmmmm... I'm thinking candy pink with accents of yellow.
Suitably unflattering to every complexion I think
Shouldn't it be peach? With ruffles? And shoulder pads? A proper nod to the 80's lol "
Final colour choice is up to the bride. |
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"I'm more than happy to be the best man
Just lead me to the bridesmaids
No bridesmaids till you've fulfilled your best manly duty - you've got to get Bladey to the venue reasonably sober, fully kitted out in whatever outfit the forum wedding planners deem appropriate and in a reasonably good mood!
Good luck with that
I can do all of the above except guaranteeing his mood; can we have the wedding in the afternoon ?
You know what a grumpy arse he is in the mornings
And the groom's outfit will be a natty shade of cream with long arms, and buckles to strap then to the back "
Me grumpy of a morning I can't belive you said that its so not true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm more than happy to be the best man
Just lead me to the bridesmaids
No bridesmaids till you've fulfilled your best manly duty - you've got to get Bladey to the venue reasonably sober, fully kitted out in whatever outfit the forum wedding planners deem appropriate and in a reasonably good mood!
Good luck with that
I can do all of the above except guaranteeing his mood; can we have the wedding in the afternoon ?
You know what a grumpy arse he is in the mornings
And the groom's outfit will be a natty shade of cream with long arms, and buckles to strap then to the back
Me grumpy of a morning I can't belive you said that its so not true "
Yeah
That's why I'm bringing the tranquiliser darts and taser  |
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"I'm more than happy to be the best man
Just lead me to the bridesmaids
No bridesmaids till you've fulfilled your best manly duty - you've got to get Bladey to the venue reasonably sober, fully kitted out in whatever outfit the forum wedding planners deem appropriate and in a reasonably good mood!
Good luck with that
I can do all of the above except guaranteeing his mood; can we have the wedding in the afternoon ?
You know what a grumpy arse he is in the mornings
And the groom's outfit will be a natty shade of cream with long arms, and buckles to strap then to the back
Me grumpy of a morning I can't belive you said that its so not true
Yeah
That's why I'm bringing the tranquiliser darts and taser "
Its ok I have my own |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can run the medical tent...
What kind of wedding do you think it will be? "
Well, so far on this thread there has been declared intentions of intoxication, furious physical activity, tranquiliser and taser use and even murder. So I think I'll be in demand. All I need is some nurses - any volunteers? |
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"I can run the medical tent...
What kind of wedding do you think it will be?
Well, so far on this thread there has been declared intentions of intoxication, furious physical activity, tranquiliser and taser use and even murder. So I think I'll be in demand. All I need is some nurses - any volunteers? "
An this is a good day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm more than happy to be the best man
Just lead me to the bridesmaids
No bridesmaids till you've fulfilled your best manly duty - you've got to get Bladey to the venue reasonably sober, fully kitted out in whatever outfit the forum wedding planners deem appropriate and in a reasonably good mood!
Good luck with that
I can do all of the above except guaranteeing his mood; can we have the wedding in the afternoon ?
You know what a grumpy arse he is in the mornings
And the groom's outfit will be a natty shade of cream with long arms, and buckles to strap then to the back
Me grumpy of a morning I can't belive you said that its so not true
Yeah
That's why I'm bringing the tranquiliser darts and taser
Its ok I have my own "
That's to subdue the bridesmaids ... I think they might be a bit frisky |
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"I'm more than happy to be the best man
Just lead me to the bridesmaids
No bridesmaids till you've fulfilled your best manly duty - you've got to get Bladey to the venue reasonably sober, fully kitted out in whatever outfit the forum wedding planners deem appropriate and in a reasonably good mood!
Good luck with that
I can do all of the above except guaranteeing his mood; can we have the wedding in the afternoon ?
You know what a grumpy arse he is in the mornings
And the groom's outfit will be a natty shade of cream with long arms, and buckles to strap then to the back
Me grumpy of a morning I can't belive you said that its so not true
Yeah
That's why I'm bringing the tranquiliser darts and taser
Its ok I have my own
That's to subdue the bridesmaids ... I think they might be a bit frisky "
They better be |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh can I be a bridesmaid?
You'll have to wear a meringue of dubious colour - oooh we need a colour scheme!
will let you decide TD
Hmmmmm... I'm thinking candy pink with accents of yellow.
Suitably unflattering to every complexion I think
Shouldn't it be peach? With ruffles? And shoulder pads? A proper nod to the 80's lol
Final colour choice is up to the bride."
quite like rhe sound of pink un yellow for him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can run the medical tent...
What kind of wedding do you think it will be?
Well, so far on this thread there has been declared intentions of intoxication, furious physical activity, tranquiliser and taser use and even murder. So I think I'll be in demand. All I need is some nurses - any volunteers? "
brides a nurse x |
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"Can I just come and get d*unk??
There'll be lots of vacancies for that.
But only as long as you wear a nice hat and when d*unk shag someone. "
Erm.... can "someone" be replaced with "people" ... i'm greedy |
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"Can I just come and get d*unk??
There'll be lots of vacancies for that.
But only as long as you wear a nice hat and when d*unk shag someone.
Erm.... can "someone" be replaced with "people" ... i'm greedy "
Only if its the groom
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can run the medical tent...
What kind of wedding do you think it will be?
Well, so far on this thread there has been declared intentions of intoxication, furious physical activity, tranquiliser and taser use and even murder. So I think I'll be in demand. All I need is some nurses - any volunteers?
brides a nurse x"
useful to know, but I expect she'll be a little busy.... |
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"I can run the medical tent...
What kind of wedding do you think it will be?
Well, so far on this thread there has been declared intentions of intoxication, furious physical activity, tranquiliser and taser use and even murder. So I think I'll be in demand. All I need is some nurses - any volunteers?
brides a nurse x
useful to know, but I expect she'll be a little busy...."
Errrrr don't be so sure I think the grooms going to be a tad busy lmfao |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can run the medical tent...
What kind of wedding do you think it will be?
Well, so far on this thread there has been declared intentions of intoxication, furious physical activity, tranquiliser and taser use and even murder. So I think I'll be in demand. All I need is some nurses - any volunteers?
brides a nurse x
useful to know, but I expect she'll be a little busy....
Errrrr don't be so sure I think the grooms going to be a tad busy lmfao"
It's ok I'll help you out once I get out of my robes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can run the medical tent...
What kind of wedding do you think it will be?
Well, so far on this thread there has been declared intentions of intoxication, furious physical activity, tranquiliser and taser use and even murder. So I think I'll be in demand. All I need is some nurses - any volunteers?
brides a nurse x
useful to know, but I expect she'll be a little busy...."
grooms gonna be busy with one of the guests |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"May I be a bridesmaid, please? I'm also happy to do a speech.
but of course Tina. Xx"
Naturally I shall make jokes about the bride and especially the groom - having met the groom at the social, I have plenty of material to work with.  |
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"May I be a bridesmaid, please? I'm also happy to do a speech.
but of course Tina. Xx
Naturally I shall make jokes about the bride and especially the groom - having met the groom at the social, I have plenty of material to work with. "
Grrrrrrrrr |
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"May I be a bridesmaid, please? I'm also happy to do a speech.
but of course Tina. Xx
Naturally I shall make jokes about the bride and especially the groom - having met the groom at the social, I have plenty of material to work with. "
I think that would make you mother(ish) of the bride and entitle you to upstage her in all your tarty, animal print magnificence! |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"May I be a bridesmaid, please? I'm also happy to do a speech.
but of course Tina. Xx
Naturally I shall make jokes about the bride and especially the groom - having met the groom at the social, I have plenty of material to work with.
I think that would make you mother(ish) of the bride and entitle you to upstage her in all your tarty, animal print magnificence! "
LOL I did wonder if there had been a typo first time round
You premiums have remained unaltered |
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"May I be a bridesmaid, please? I'm also happy to do a speech.
but of course Tina. Xx
Naturally I shall make jokes about the bride and especially the groom - having met the groom at the social, I have plenty of material to work with.
I think that would make you mother(ish) of the bride and entitle you to upstage her in all your tarty, animal print magnificence!
LOL I did wonder if there had been a typo first time round
You premiums have remained unaltered "
Flippin kindle autocarrot!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"He's gone gone and put his helmet on ...
He must be expecting trouble from the brides family
Na bunch of pussys mate"
Lol a bunch of pussies are after your helmet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I be the photographer... Please
I promise some fab but also indecent and embarrassing photos
You can be what ever you like in fact with that back side you can be the bride if you like "
oi fuck off. We aint habing none of that. Shag who you want but im the bride xx |
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"Can I be the photographer... Please
I promise some fab but also indecent and embarrassing photos
You can be what ever you like in fact with that back side you can be the bride if you like
oi fuck off. We aint habing none of that. Shag who you want but im the bride xx"
Have you seen her arse....I want a diverse |
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"Can I be the photographer... Please
I promise some fab but also indecent and embarrassing photos
You can be what ever you like in fact with that back side you can be the bride if you like
oi fuck off. We aint habing none of that. Shag who you want but im the bride xx"
No worries there, you are I don't suit white lol
Am taking the pics |
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"Can I be the photographer... Please
I promise some fab but also indecent and embarrassing photos
You can be what ever you like in fact with that back side you can be the bride if you like
oi fuck off. We aint habing none of that. Shag who you want but im the bride xx
No worries there, you are I don't suit white lol
oi you could at least lie im getting divorced for you an we all know what they cost
Am taking the pics "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I be the photographer... Please
I promise some fab but also indecent and embarrassing photos
You can be what ever you like in fact with that back side you can be the bride if you like
oi fuck off. We aint habing none of that. Shag who you want but im the bride xx
Have you seen her arse....I want a diverse
"
bloody hell lets get married first darling. Good piss up and orgy after. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I be the photographer... Please
I promise some fab but also indecent and embarrassing photos
You can be what ever you like in fact with that back side you can be the bride if you like
oi fuck off. We aint habing none of that. Shag who you want but im the bride xx
Whites not gonna work with me either. Xx
No worries there, you are I don't suit white lol
Am taking the pics "
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"Can I be the pissed Aunty that turns up and shows herself? Please "
Corrected your sentence there - I knew what you really meant!
Of course you can! Make sure you wear a really bright lippy and leave traces of it on all kinds of men. |
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"Can I be the photographer... Please
I promise some fab but also indecent and embarrassing photos
You can be what ever you like in fact with that back side you can be the bride if you like
oi fuck off. We aint habing none of that. Shag who you want but im the bride xx
Have you seen her arse....I want a diverse
bloody hell lets get married first darling. Good piss up and orgy after. "
Ok but only if I can shog the photographer an she takes pics |
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"Can I be the photographer... Please
I promise some fab but also indecent and embarrassing photos
You can be what ever you like in fact with that back side you can be the bride if you like
oi fuck off. We aint habing none of that. Shag who you want but im the bride xx
Have you seen her arse....I want a diverse
bloody hell lets get married first darling. Good piss up and orgy after.
Ok but only if I can shog the photographer an she takes pics "
Only if I get a permission note from the bride
I ain't messin' with no bride on her wedding day lol waaay to dangerous lol |
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"Can I be the photographer... Please
I promise some fab but also indecent and embarrassing photos
You can be what ever you like in fact with that back side you can be the bride if you like
oi fuck off. We aint habing none of that. Shag who you want but im the bride xx
Have you seen her arse....I want a diverse
bloody hell lets get married first darling. Good piss up and orgy after.
Ok but only if I can shog the photographer an she takes pics
Only if I get a permission note from the bride
I ain't messin' with no bride on her wedding day lol waaay to dangerous lol "
SEXY over here my love I need a note |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The Wedding Invitation
Will you join this couple who swing?
Who got together after an online d*unken fling.
When Bladey proposed to another man's wife,
She said yes and now they'll be screwed for life.
Ms Sexy and Bladey are to each other trothed,
by the piss takers on the forum, who forever are loathed.
For creating a wedding so garish and crass,
Their punishment will be one or two in the ass.
The bridesmaids, in multi-coloured leopard print, flouncy meringues,
and heels so high they'll get vertigo pangs,
Will be bent over the tables in gay abandon.
As they'll be rogered by the ushers who'll arrive on a tandem.
And as for the groom he's having a reverse bukakke,
And his bride gets the same to make her face all yakky.
Oh wait! All is not quite as it seems.
The bukkake's being done with squirty cream.
It'll be leftover from decorating the the profiteroles,
that are going to be eaten out of their holes.
Come join the party and drink yourself silly.
No-one will mind if you get out your willy.
Or show off your tits for some motorboating,
Or jump in the hot-tub and gobble a few scrotums.
Feel free to indulge and suck a cock or two
And pussies for licking there'll be quite a few.
Don't forget to send your RSVP
If you don't like what you see then don't blame me.
I'm only the messenger who writes as an art.
Nah I'm just a messer who writes brainfarts
©YeOldeWitchDoc Brainfarts 2014
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I be the photographer... Please
I promise some fab but also indecent and embarrassing photos
You can be what ever you like in fact with that back side you can be the bride if you like
oi fuck off. We aint habing none of that. Shag who you want but im the bride xx
Have you seen her arse....I want a diverse
bloody hell lets get married first darling. Good piss up and orgy after.
Ok but only if I can shog the photographer an she takes pics "
sounds fair xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I be the photographer... Please
I promise some fab but also indecent and embarrassing photos
You can be what ever you like in fact with that back side you can be the bride if you like
oi fuck off. We aint habing none of that. Shag who you want but im the bride xx
Have you seen her arse....I want a diverse
bloody hell lets get married first darling. Good piss up and orgy after.
Ok but only if I can shog the photographer an she takes pics
Only if I get a permission note from the bride
I ain't messin' with no bride on her wedding day lol waaay to dangerous lol
SEXY over here my love I need a note "
I give my blessing gor my dearest bladey to snog, shag whom ever he wants on our weddkng day. Xx hows thst sweetie? |
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Well we have a colour scheme, someone to officiate, a best man, a matron of honour, a gaggle of bridesmaids, someone to give the bride away, a kinky organ tickler, and a mother(ish) of the bride.
But the groomsmen are letting us down! Where are all the sexy ushers to fuck (ahem) squire the lovely bridesmaids? |
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"Maxie baby come to bladey uv pulled cock x "
Read the Bride's permission note, you're so lucky, she's so cool
Bladey, baby!! Come see me after I have had some of the cake... I see that you know how to get rid of some calories lol |
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"Maxie baby come to bladey uv pulled cock x
Read the Bride's permission note, you're so lucky, she's so cool
Bladey, baby!! Come see me after I have had some of the cake... I see that you know how to get rid of some calories lol "
Arrrr she ok for a wee bint lol and owwww yes ill so get them pounds off ya. I like the last cuple the most dad at the door hahaha |
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"Can I just come and get d*unk??
There'll be lots of vacancies for that.
But only as long as you wear a nice hat and when d*unk shag someone.
Erm.... can "someone" be replaced with "people" ... i'm greedy
Only if its the groom
"
Ok.. he can be included...
Ps: who's the groom |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well we have a colour scheme, someone to officiate, a best man, a matron of honour, a gaggle of bridesmaids, someone to give the bride away, a kinky organ tickler, and a mother(ish) of the bride.
But the groomsmen are letting us down! Where are all the sexy ushers to fuck (ahem) squire the lovely bridesmaids? "
Never mind the bridesmaids what about the matron of honour |
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"Maxie baby come to bladey uv pulled cock x
Read the Bride's permission note, you're so lucky, she's so cool
Bladey, baby!! Come see me after I have had some of the cake... I see that you know how to get rid of some calories lol
Arrrr she ok for a wee bint lol and owwww yes ill so get them pounds off ya. I like the last cuple the most dad at the door hahaha"
Yeah that one made me giggle too |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"Well we have a colour scheme, someone to officiate, a best man, a matron of honour, a gaggle of bridesmaids, someone to give the bride away, a kinky organ tickler, and a mother(ish) of the bride.
But the groomsmen are letting us down! Where are all the sexy ushers to fuck (ahem) squire the lovely bridesmaids?
Never mind the bridesmaids what about the matron of honour "
Oi! I'm a bridesmaid |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well we have a colour scheme, someone to officiate, a best man, a matron of honour, a gaggle of bridesmaids, someone to give the bride away, a kinky organ tickler, and a mother(ish) of the bride.
But the groomsmen are letting us down! Where are all the sexy ushers to fuck (ahem) squire the lovely bridesmaids?
Never mind the bridesmaids what about the matron of honour
Oi! I'm a bridesmaid "
And speaker Tina xx. Shaver of eyebrows too xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well we have a colour scheme, someone to officiate, a best man, a matron of honour, a gaggle of bridesmaids, someone to give the bride away, a kinky organ tickler, and a mother(ish) of the bride.
But the groomsmen are letting us down! Where are all the sexy ushers to fuck (ahem) squire the lovely bridesmaids? "
A caterer and photogragher ( after shes finished with the groom). |
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"Well we have a colour scheme, someone to officiate, a best man, a matron of honour, a gaggle of bridesmaids, someone to give the bride away, a kinky organ tickler, and a mother(ish) of the bride.
But the groomsmen are letting us down! Where are all the sexy ushers to fuck (ahem) squire the lovely bridesmaids?
A caterer and photogragher ( after shes finished with the groom). "
Id not expect seeing her anytime soon |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
I shall be the jilted lover throwing open the door of the field (!) and bursting tearfully into "It should have been me" before attempting to claw Mrs Sexycouple's pink and yellow meringue to shreds and collapsing in a sobbing heap on the altar (cattle feed trough) |
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"I shall be the jilted lover throwing open the door of the field (!) and bursting tearfully into "It should have been me" before attempting to claw Mrs Sexycouple's pink and yellow meringue to shreds and collapsing in a sobbing heap on the altar (cattle feed trough) "
Owww poo not you again |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"I shall be the jilted lover throwing open the door of the field (!) and bursting tearfully into "It should have been me" before attempting to claw Mrs Sexycouple's pink and yellow meringue to shreds and collapsing in a sobbing heap on the altar (cattle feed trough)
Owww poo not you again "
I'm like shingles...bloody hard to shake off and gets right on your nerve endings |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We need ushers bridesmaids and the works.
Put your names down guys.
Venue ermmm middle of a field xx.
must tell dave though "
i am a chef so i can do you catering |
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"We need ushers bridesmaids and the works.
Put your names down guys.
Venue ermmm middle of a field xx.
must tell dave though "
What about someone to do your make-up? I'm a qualified beauty therapist so can do that and a facial beforehand as well as a nice manicure and pedicure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm the caterer, plenty sausage, baps and rolls to go round, cake and cream for after. Might even throw in a few profiter rolls.
The roll for bit on the sides still free "
What's a field wedding without a roll in the hay? |
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"Ive been jiltered  fan we still have the wedding without a groom?"
Not sure about that but you can have the groom without the wedding lol.......after all thrse yrs that word still makes me shudder lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive been jiltered fan we still have the wedding without a groom?
Not sure about that but you can have the groom without the wedding lol.......after all thrse yrs that word still makes me shudder lol"
Harumph. Puts robes away. Might have known you'd bottle it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive been jiltered fan we still have the wedding without a groom?
Not sure about that but you can have the groom without the wedding lol.......after all thrse yrs that word still makes me shudder lol"
so we can paarrrtttyyyyy. |
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