FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > disowned?
disowned?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My mum sent me to my room once for setting fire to the sofa. She said she didn't want to see me again until tea time. Ten minutes later it was tea time and we laughed about it.
I was 35 at the time!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sister was disowned for running off with a Jamaica guy when she was 19 but they reconnected after 2 years. They didn't say anything to me when I got together with a Italian. Think they learnt there lesson by then. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't spoken to my family for years. I have no idea whether they have been so melodramatic as to declare that they've disowned me but ssuspect so
I have long being viewed as a failure and embarrassment too them and no doubt they are ashamed of me to some extent
It effects me more than I like to admit |
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"I haven't spoken to my family for years. I have no idea whether they have been so melodramatic as to declare that they've disowned me but ssuspect so
I have long being viewed as a failure and embarrassment too them and no doubt they are ashamed of me to some extent
It effects me more than I like to admit"
Ok... That ones kinda sad...
Failure and embarrassment are relative (to what??) and free spirited and artistic should be appreciated... Reading between the lines of your profile a little, but could be wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sexysub - i wouldn't give the old racists that much credit... Italians are white Caucasian so not exactly a u turn for them.
cheeky- good to hear that you sorted it out.
crystal - i share your denial. I love my mum and dad and miss them often. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not spoke to my Mam, Dad, and sister for about 7 years now, we never done them any wrong apart from stop lending them money all the time so they could piss it up the wall |
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My friend Mark (who is a ninja) was once grounded for the 6 weeks holiday for punching his dog Basil in the face. In his defence he had just finished writing the screen play for his film Ninjas v Pirates and was really pumped. |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
I've not spoken to my mum for over 2 years. And frankly don't care if I never do again. She told me I was a let down, and disappointment all my life (she wanted a son, and got me - middle of 3 girls, but the other 2 were treated well), and final straw came when she treated my wee son badly.
Do I miss her? Not really because she was never like a mum to me... Her comments have ranged from (after losing lots of weight, and finally reaching my goal, and managing to fit a size 10) she told me "och well, they must be big sizes" and has always dismissed any achievements. Don't need that in my life, and don't want my son growing up seeing such spite and negativity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I haven't spoken to my family for years. I have no idea whether they have been so melodramatic as to declare that they've disowned me but ssuspect so
I have long being viewed as a failure and embarrassment too them and no doubt they are ashamed of me to some extent
It effects me more than I like to admit
Ok... That ones kinda sad...
Failure and embarrassment are relative (to what??) and free spirited and artistic should be appreciated... Reading between the lines of your profile a little, but could be wrong."
Maybe if they see the man today, it may just be different.
Nette |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sort of disowned, they used to ignore me quite a lot and made it pretty obvious i was a disapointment to them.
it did upset me a lot but i wouldnt change who i am anyway and its partly because of them i am who i am. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I disowned my mum when she said it served me right my son died, as it was God's punishment for turning my back on him and my dad for travelling 180 miles to deliver the message to me."
Ohh...   |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
I've never been disowned, but I am the least favourite of the 4, both step and blood kids. I'm also the one who is the executor of the will and who gets them the most thoughtful presents for birthdays and Christmas. |
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I couldnt imagine no seeing or having anything to do with my Mum she might fuck me off at times as much as i do her but id be lost without her.
My Dad on the other hand ive spent more than once not speaking to him cause he can be a complete and utter selfish ass! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I rarely speak to my Mum, stepdad or sister. Disowned my sister for spreading shit about me when I said I wanted my disabled mother in a bungalow.
Ended up getting a text off my uncles wife saying to keep my nose out so I have done. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sexysub - i wouldn't give the old racists that much credit... Italians are white Caucasian so not exactly a u turn for them.
cheeky- good to hear that you sorted it out.
crystal - i share your denial. I love my mum and dad and miss them often."
But I'm not white. I'm Indian and my parents aren't racist, it was the perceived shame from the Indian community. This was in the 90's. its so common now it's lost a lot of its taboo. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't understand why sometimes people feel bad about disowning family members. If we had friends that were total arseholes we wouldn't put up with it. Why put up with blood relations being arseholes...? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't understand why sometimes people feel bad about disowning family members. If we had friends that were total arseholes we wouldn't put up with it. Why put up with blood relations being arseholes...?"
Donor transplants ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I haven't spoken to my family for years. I have no idea whether they have been so melodramatic as to declare that they've disowned me but ssuspect so
I have long being viewed as a failure and embarrassment too them and no doubt they are ashamed of me to some extent
It effects me more than I like to admit
Ok... That ones kinda sad...
Failure and embarrassment are relative (to what??) and free spirited and artistic should be appreciated... Reading between the lines of your profile a little, but could be wrong."
You've hit the nail on the head. Had I grown up to be a straight laced tory voting chartered accountant I would have been a success in their eyes.
To be honest all I hope is that they never get in touch with me again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I haven't spoken to my family for years. I have no idea whether they have been so melodramatic as to declare that they've disowned me but ssuspect so
I have long being viewed as a failure and embarrassment too them and no doubt they are ashamed of me to some extent
It effects me more than I like to admit
Ok... That ones kinda sad...
Failure and embarrassment are relative (to what??) and free spirited and artistic should be appreciated... Reading between the lines of your profile a little, but could be wrong.
You've hit the nail on the head. Had I grown up to be a straight laced tory voting chartered accountant I would have been a success in their eyes.
To be honest all I hope is that they never get in touch with me again"
Ok, don't knock us Tories, were not all bad!
Joking aside, having met you and found out first hand what a Stirling bloke you are it's their loss.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not disowned by my parents but by my daughter all because I decided I wanted a life after having brought her up on my own for 16 years
I still hope that one day she will grow up and reconnect ..... my door is always open to her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But I'm not white. I'm Indian and my parents aren't racist, it was the perceived shame from the Indian community. This was in the 90's. its so common now it's lost a lot of its taboo. "
C is also Indian. From spending time with her family their community I think myself very lucky in the welcome I received. I like to think that I have also helped with easing some perceptions of her extended family.
Parents should be proud that they have done a good job with their children as long as two criteria are met.... Their children are well balanced and not malicious and also happy with life. Jobs and money etc don't mean that much in the grand scheme. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't understand why sometimes people feel bad about disowning family members. If we had friends that were total arseholes we wouldn't put up with it. Why put up with blood relations being arseholes...?"
Indeed this ^
But without going into detail I've disowned my mother and all her family. As someone else said - don't want my child growing up with negativity and liars and people who basically harbour criminals. My only regret is ever introducing my child to them at all
Have to say I'm surprised at the number of people posting in here. I always feel people look at you a bit strange when you tell them you don't have contact... like it's my fault. No way and my life is happier without them by far. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't know if I'm disowned or not, and I don't really care. I talk to my mum now and again, it's about all I can stand.
Can't remember when I last saw my dad, he a waste of space and I could never forgive him for my experiences as a child. It's a shame what addiction can do to some people, and the knock on effects.
Last saw my sister at my 30th, but for some reason we never keep contact. I tried but was never reciprocated.
The feast of my family live in the same villagebut ddon't talk toe for dome reason. Mainly because I get on withy life without playing any of their games.
Only time you will see the family together is funerals, and even then you need police on stand by in case of a ruck.
My stepfather, he's the only one I have serious time for. Without him I'd be just like the other losers in my family.
I'm a bit of a lone ranger sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My parents love me I'm not sure why though because I was an utter cunt to them for a few years...it makes me ashamed thinking it the stuff I did "
because they are your parents and the love you have for your child never goes away and I think most people have been cunts to their parents at sometime. its all part of growing up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My children used to say they disowned me when we used to drive around with my ex husband singing Meatloaf songs in the car.
It wasn't my fault the windows were open and we were driving past their mates
Mind you they did turn their music down next time they were asked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some sad shit on here, my heart goes out to you all.
"
It would be sadder putting up with abusive relationships - in my case thankfully only verbal - but the emotional impact has left me with anxiety from time to time, which is just horrid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some sad shit on here, my heart goes out to you all.
It would be sadder putting up with abusive relationships - in my case thankfully only verbal - but the emotional impact has left me with anxiety from time to time, which is just horrid. "
xxxx |
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By *D40Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
I'm on the other foot really.
One of my children did something so awful it nearly had me in the loony bin & almost lost me a relationship with my mother, sister my son & my grandson.
I don't speak to her at the moment & haven't for a few months. I'm hoping for some kind of answers as to why i guess. Sadly as i can't find it in my heart to speak to her yet it may be a long time coming.
I hope for some kind of resolve and repair one day, but not yet because at the moment i could quite happily beat the shit out of her & that isn't right either.
Eternally hopeful
Julie x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm on the other foot really.
One of my children did something so awful it nearly had me in the loony bin & almost lost me a relationship with my mother, sister my son & my grandson.
I don't speak to her at the moment & haven't for a few months. I'm hoping for some kind of answers as to why i guess. Sadly as i can't find it in my heart to speak to her yet it may be a long time coming.
I hope for some kind of resolve and repair one day, but not yet because at the moment i could quite happily beat the shit out of her & that isn't right either.
Eternally hopeful
Julie x"
you seem reasonable so that's half the problem solved. My mum and dad are completely unreasonable and are defensive, belligerent and playing the victims to divert blame from themselves. Hope you get it sorted eventually |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My parents and most of my family, actually...as well as some "friends" no longer speak to me because I initiated a divorce. They don't have to live my life...and even though things may look good from the outside, that isn't always the case. |
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By *roquoisMan
over a year ago
Portsmouth |
When I was 18 and still living at home.....my father committed suicide. My mother kicked me out of the house because I reminded her of him. 14 years of silence later I sent her a letter to say, isn't it about time you got over this as you may miss out potentially on future grandchildren. Bearing in mind, this was just a sent letter after 14 years, I received a reply, passed through my grandmother (RIP) to say...If I contacted her again, she would get a restraining order out on me.
I felt I had made my effort and she has now been out of my life longer than she was in it for, so now I have accepted it and moved on.
Obviously it would be nicer to have had a mother figure in my life but I guess I view it that it would have been nicer to have had a mother figure, I'm kind of happy that she wasn't the mother figure I had in the long run.
So in my father committing suicide, it cost me both my parents in one fowl swoop. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I was 18 and still living at home.....my father committed suicide. My mother kicked me out of the house because I reminded her of him. 14 years of silence later I sent her a letter to say, isn't it about time you got over this as you may miss out potentially on future grandchildren. Bearing in mind, this was just a sent letter after 14 years, I received a reply, passed through my grandmother (RIP) to say...If I contacted her again, she would get a restraining order out on me.
I felt I had made my effort and she has now been out of my life longer than she was in it for, so now I have accepted it and moved on.
Obviously it would be nicer to have had a mother figure in my life but I guess I view it that it would have been nicer to have had a mother figure, I'm kind of happy that she wasn't the mother figure I had in the long run.
So in my father committing suicide, it cost me both my parents in one fowl swoop."
Wow such a moving story can't believe a mother could do such a thing
Uv survived an came through it the better person
I applaud u hun good on u xx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It seems a LOT of people have had this experience on this site!! I wonder it is more than the "national average" (if there is such a thing) and could this b some of the reason people are here?? |
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By *roquoisMan
over a year ago
Portsmouth |
"When I was 18 and still living at home.....my father committed suicide. My mother kicked me out of the house because I reminded her of him. 14 years of silence later I sent her a letter to say, isn't it about time you got over this as you may miss out potentially on future grandchildren. Bearing in mind, this was just a sent letter after 14 years, I received a reply, passed through my grandmother (RIP) to say...If I contacted her again, she would get a restraining order out on me.
I felt I had made my effort and she has now been out of my life longer than she was in it for, so now I have accepted it and moved on.
Obviously it would be nicer to have had a mother figure in my life but I guess I view it that it would have been nicer to have had a mother figure, I'm kind of happy that she wasn't the mother figure I had in the long run.
So in my father committing suicide, it cost me both my parents in one fowl swoop.
Wow such a moving story can't believe a mother could do such a thing
Uv survived an came through it the better person
I applaud u hun good on u xx "
Thank you...although when in those kind of situations, you don't really have many choices and just have to deal with things in the best way to move your life forward and hopefully make it better. |
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Not been disowned, but we have had some interesting times. Im sad to read some of the histories here, and feel very lucky - my dad died recently and we became very close before that point. Maybe swingers are a breed apart, somewhat independent minded, less easily controlled etc and a touch harder for some families to accept as themselves for who we are? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for sharing that crazy horse. People are affected by bereavement in all sorts of ways. Its eventualities like that that have been the dealbreaker when ive thought about cashing in my chips. |
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By *roquoisMan
over a year ago
Portsmouth |
"Thanks for sharing that crazy horse. People are affected by bereavement in all sorts of ways. Its eventualities like that that have been the dealbreaker when ive thought about cashing in my chips."
You are welcome....and whilst it is easier said than done, the trick is to look forward and not backwards, knowing you cant change peoples opinions but you can keep your head held high and make a better life for yourself...with or without them. |
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Those that know me no my story an iv posted it before. My mum died 8ish yrs ago before that we hadn't spoke it 20 odd years if not longer when she died I felt nothing we had been dead to each other for many many yrs so no loss. By dad the last time we set eyes on each other was when I went to tell him his doughter had been killed within less than 10 mins of hearing my devastating news he was asking me what car I was driving what a wanker. That was 13 yrs ago an now iv no idea if hes dead or alive. do I care a jot you decide.
I may sound bitter an posibly at 1 time yrs ago yes maybe but not now. Growing up the way I did an the place I did made me who I am now. There parenting skills or lack of them made me the father I am now I learnt everything from how they fucked my life up it made me the decent well balanced loveing father I am.
So in conclusion mum dad you where both a wast of skin but thank you somehow you turned me into the happy contented man I am. you tossers !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My parents love me despite me viewing myself as a failure, so that's one thing I'll always have.
A parent should never abandon a child, extreme circumstances aside. We as children do not ask to be brought into this world. |
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"Glad to hear a happy ending to that fireblade"
Lol thats the short vershon mate. It gets very boring after a while but my point is yes they destroyed my childhood an I could of wasted my whole life worrying why what did I do I was a kid for god sake but no know way. they messed engh of my life up they will not effect any more of my being nor my fantastic kids being and boy did they lose out big time there. they had to unbelievable grand kids an they never even knew there names so who really lost out me or them.........move on ppl let it go its where it belongs in the past. All of you live your life be happy don't let them take anther thing els from you they stole engh |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Glad to hear a happy ending to that fireblade
Lol thats the short vershon mate. It gets very boring after a while but my point is yes they destroyed my childhood an I could of wasted my whole life worrying why what did I do I was a kid for god sake but no know way. they messed engh of my life up they will not effect any more of my being nor my fantastic kids being and boy did they lose out big time there. they had to unbelievable grand kids an they never even knew there names so who really lost out me or them.........move on ppl let it go its where it belongs in the past. All of you live your life be happy don't let them take anther thing els from you they stole engh"
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Disowned by my sister for not turning up at a wedding fair, due to having a fit. I missed out on her wedding, it breaks my heart every day. We hated each other growing up, but that changed as we became adults and we got very close. Now I miss her and the kids so much. I've apologised and she won't have none of it. Been 6 years now.
Parents disowned me when I got pregnant at 18 (even though my mum was 18 having me),then put my name in the Loot as an escort. Was OK when I gave birth, but over the years there have been several fallings out. I currently have spinal damage from 2 failed ops and they don't believe the extent of my pain and other chronic illnesses and people wonder why I get no help. Also lost each and everyone of my friends because of my I'll health and that's probably why I crave friendship more than sex on here!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My parents love me despite me viewing myself as a failure, so that's one thing I'll always have.
A parent should never abandon a child, extreme circumstances aside. We as children do not ask to be brought into this world. "
Except they do unfortunately |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I was growing up, my mum meant to world to me. She was only 16 when she had me, so there was not the generation gap that some people experience. I am the oldest of 5 kids, and we had a fun time as young children, lots of dancing around and singing like loonies. She was beautiful, intelligent and funny.
That all changed when she met a guy she went on to marry, I wont go in to details but he slowly destroyed the women I knew, and in turn she became bitter and twisted.
I couldn't handle her anymore, so I finally stopped talking to her. I never spoke to her for 10 years or so. She died 2 years ago, only 58 years old. I never went her funeral, as I could not face it, plus I thought it would be hypocritical to go after not having anything to do with her for so long.
I have to live with that decision, but I think I mourned my mother a very long time before she died. I am comfortable with that decision, but I would say to others that are estranged from their family, think how you will feel if they died today and you never had chance to say goodbye... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Shit. I'm blessed to have two wonderful parents, who are both still alive and will both be in their eighties next year, after 51 years of marriage. They are fab grandparents too. We have never been unable to deal with any problems along the way. I'm very grateful for the unconditional love they have shown me. My heart feels saddened that not everyone experiences something similar, but it is good to hear so many stories that have been able to transform the negative into positive situations for themselves and their kids |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, never. Not even when I left my mum's to go live with my dad and not speak to her for a month. She welcomed me back with open arms as if I'd never been so horrible to her x
"
My mum kicked me out 8 years ago, we still spoke but we were never close. 4 days ago my husband kicked me out, and my mum is letting me stay with her for a couple of weeks. Even though we disliked eachother for years...
I don't know what I'd do without my mum... This is actually the first time I've said that about my mum. |
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"When I was growing up, my mum meant to world to me. She was only 16 when she had me, so there was not the generation gap that some people experience. I am the oldest of 5 kids, and we had a fun time as young children, lots of dancing around and singing like loonies. She was beautiful, intelligent and funny.
That all changed when she met a guy she went on to marry, I wont go in to details but he slowly destroyed the women I knew, and in turn she became bitter and twisted.
I couldn't handle her anymore, so I finally stopped talking to her. I never spoke to her for 10 years or so. She died 2 years ago, only 58 years old. I never went her funeral, as I could not face it, plus I thought it would be hypocritical to go after not having anything to do with her for so long.
I have to live with that decision, but I think I mourned my mother a very long time before she died. I am comfortable with that decision, but I would say to others that are estranged from their family, think how you will feel if they died today and you never had chance to say goodbye..."
Im with ya bro an sympathies for your loss.
Ppl reading this. this guys so on the nail an I did just has he says before my parents died my decision stood strong when they died ask yourself will your |
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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago
Greensburg |
"And the award for the thread with the most amount of self pity goes to . . . . . .
I will go grab the violins lol"
Good point. Would be an awful lot easier to just pity this guy though........
I'll go fetch the dunce cap, lol. |
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"And the award for the thread with the most amount of self pity goes to . . . . . .
I will go grab the violins lol
Good point. Would be an awful lot easier to just pity this guy though........
I'll go fetch the dunce cap, lol. "
Theres a word springs to mind but nooooo I'll not wast the fonts |
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