FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > "better offers?"
"better offers?"
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *abio OP Man
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
after reading a thread that was locked the other day, thought it was and interested topic so i have decided to split it into two.. and hope people are no so hot headed....
so ..... would you cancel a meet for a "better offer"..... in two different situations....
1) dumping a meet for a better meet?
2) dumping a meet for another situation? i.e world cup final down the pub with mates/ concert/ actually going to the world cup final.... ect ect....
..... and discuss........ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I would never postpone meeting someone so that I could meet someone else instead. That's just rude and there's no need for it at the end of the day.
If I was that interested in football to want to watch the finals then I wouldn't have arranged a meet for that day/period anyway.
If it was something amazing like a concert I've always wanted to see or Hubby springing a surprise weekend away etc then yes I probably would however I hope I would be sensitive enough to let the person down gently and diplomatically, fully explaining myself and expect to reap whatever consequences there were to be had. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I would never postpone meeting someone so that I could meet someone else instead. That's just rude and there's no need for it at the end of the day.
If I was that interested in football to want to watch the finals then I wouldn't have arranged a meet for that day/period anyway.
If it was something amazing like a concert I've always wanted to see or Hubby springing a surprise weekend away etc then yes I probably would however I hope I would be sensitive enough to let the person down gently and diplomatically, fully explaining myself and expect to reap whatever consequences there were to be had."
Thanks you saved me loads of typing as i agree 
Steve  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
if i had arranged a meet and was then asked to field test a new camera, I'd rearrange the meet, to be honest.
But I would never cancel a meet for a "better" meet. I've met a few folk here, most very decent, and certainly would not blow them off. On the contrary, I would encourage all parties to have a single meet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"after reading a thread that was locked the other day, thought it was and interested topic so i have decided to split it into two.. and hope people are no so hot headed....
so ..... would you cancel a meet for a "better offer"..... in two different situations....
1) dumping a meet for a better meet?
2) dumping a meet for another situation? i.e world cup final down the pub with mates/ concert/ actually going to the world cup final.... ect ect....
..... and discuss........ "
1....No
2....No
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *abio OP Man
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
see... for number 1.. i would never cancel a meet for another meet and I really don't think or hope most people wouldn't...
however number 2 it is a lot more tricky.... if someone said to me "look I have a spare ticket for (insert an event here)" you would have to be be sorely tempted!!!! it would have to be huge though..... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
Yeah, remember the post! If we arrange a meet with someone, we meet that/those people! Short of something out of our control stopping us, we never cancel!
We were talking to a couple on here who didn't seem to get meets although they are an extremly passable couple. When we asked why they had been here for a while and not met anyone, they said.... Well, we don't like to arrange anything too early because we may get a better offer so we hold out. If nothing comes of a particular meet, we "date" the next best!
Needless to say we didn't meet!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
I don't think we would no Fabio......if we have arranged a meet especially if it is a first one, then we would hate it if someone cancelled so hey could go out with their m8s, so we wouldn't do it to them.
If on the other hand we had been asked for a meet on a certain day and our vanilla friends or family wanted to see us on the same day, then I think the friends or family would get the yes rather then the meet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think you ALLLLLLLLLL lie! Or just put what we are supposed to put cos you just can't admit it......
I'd LOVE to say no I wouldn't cancel on anyone. I've heard myself say it. I think it's abhorrent and evil.
I'd do it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I think you ALLLLLLLLLL lie! Or just put what we are supposed to put cos you just can't admit it......
I'd LOVE to say no I wouldn't cancel on anyone. I've heard myself say it. I think it's abhorrent and evil.
I'd do it. "
lol granny
We have cancelled a meet before now and had one cancelled on us, but it wasnt so we could go down the pub instead lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think you ALLLLLLLLLL lie! Or just put what we are supposed to put cos you just can't admit it......
I'd LOVE to say no I wouldn't cancel on anyone. I've heard myself say it. I think it's abhorrent and evil.
I'd do it.
lol granny
We have cancelled a meet before now and had one cancelled on us, but it wasnt so we could go down the pub instead lol"
Ah but rugby he did say "dumping a meet for another situation?" the down the pub was an example, maybe a bad one, or thats how i read it anyway, can honestly think of many situations that could easily leed to us canceling a meet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Will try again as we were all out of sinc then lol
Ok, will answer again.
For periods turning upwhen they are not expected or due then yes, we would cancel
For any family emergancy where our kids needed us, then yes, we would cancel....other than that, no. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I had a guy from here who ive swung with for over a yr and know really well ask me a few weeks ago if i was free to meet him i said yes then he asked a friend of mine to meet him on the same day and blew me out over her and couldnt c why i was so upset hmmmmmmmm some people really r very insensive (btw he's now and ex swing patner lol)  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ig badMan
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"after reading a thread that was locked the other day, thought it was and interested topic so i have decided to split it into two.. and hope people are no so hot headed....
so ..... would you cancel a meet for a "better offer"..... in two different situations....
1) dumping a meet for a better meet?
2) dumping a meet for another situation? i.e world cup final down the pub with mates/ concert/ actually going to the world cup final.... ect ect....
..... and discuss........ "
It depends what you call dumping i guess. I tend to value my word so if i say i will do something it has to be a pretty good reason to change it. Reliability is a key thing to me. However i may talk to a potential meet with a view to re-arrange things. If not convenient then i would do what i originally agreed to.
Saying that i tent to promise to meet with a view that if its not right i don't stay. Maybe if it was 7:30 meet and the England match started at 8pm i might be a little bias in thinking there was a lack of comparability there. Having said that would i arrange to meet up with matches already in my calender?... No  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would say a no to Fabio's second question. His examples were trivia stuff for me.
Playing red indians with a stranger wouldn't be an option for me and probablynot an option for the meet either...so that plus family I would say isn't trivial. "
Hi Ruby (he says in a deep manley voice) xx  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"spelling
so that'll be a yes to no2 then  "
I would say a no to Fabio's second question. His examples were trivia stuff for me.
Playing red indians with a stranger wouldn't be an option for me and probablynot an option for the meet either...so periods plus any family stuff, I would say isn't trivial. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I would say a no to Fabio's second question. His examples were trivia stuff for me.
Playing red indians with a stranger wouldn't be an option for me and probablynot an option for the meet either...so that plus family I would say isn't trivial.
Hi Ruby (he says in a deep manley voice) xx "
OMG swingyman with a manly voice, you answered me before I even posted, psychic or what !!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We wouldnt cancel one meet for another.
Nor would Steven arrange something (as a surprise for me) without first getting a babysitter who knows all about our meets (when not who) since she is the only person who can look after our kids in the area we live. The likelyhood of him forgetting we had something arranged is high (he is very forgetful) so when saying to our mate she would say but Im already collecting your kids that day, therefore reminding him of our prearranged meet.
As for cancelling meets i have and will again in the future cos my daughters and my health will always come first. For example I had arranged something with someone and had to cancel last minute cos I had a flare up and couldnt move without crying in pain, they knew well in advance about my condition so understood and we rearranged when I was feeling better.
Shona
x x x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I would cancel for someone better at sex ....... or postpone or sommat .....
BUT NEVER let that person down too late .. if you know what I mean.
If they were on their way ..... then i'd stick with em. No two ways about it.
If I had days to spare and someone who has stolen my lust lumps .... ( went to say heart but it's been out of action for so long ) asks to meet ...... then YESSSSSSSSSSSS i'd swap pardners ! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Totally agree with both reasons for a re arrangement. Other than that unless Martians or similar invaded or I have gone down with the lurgy.
"Will try again as we were all out of sinc then lol
Ok, will answer again.
For periods turning upwhen they are not expected or due then yes, we would cancel
For any family emergancy where our kids needed us, then yes, we would cancel....other than that, no."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"
1) dumping a meet for a better meet?
2) dumping a meet for another situation? i.e world cup final down the pub with mates/ concert/ actually going to the world cup final.... ect ect....
..... and discuss........ "
1....no not at all
2....It would completely depend on the other situation,it would have to be pretty big and special to make me cancel,but I would hope that the meet would'nt mind too much if we rearranged,I would be gracious if it was the other way round.........as long as there was some notice |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"the question was, dumping a meet for another situation? maybe i'm reading it wrong, i ignored the examples, he's a man "
Pedantics pedantics !! But yes you are right he is a man .
Ok my answer is ...
1. no
2. If our children ( adults really) needed us for some reason, or periods turning up when they shouldn't then we would cancel.......but we wouldn't cancel for anything trivia like to go the pub instead.
How about that Dog? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"the question was, dumping a meet for another situation? maybe i'm reading it wrong, i ignored the examples, he's a man
Pedantics pedantics !! But yes you are right he is a man .
Ok my answer is ...
1. no
2. If our children ( adults really) needed us for some reason, or periods turning up when they shouldn't then we would cancel.......but we wouldn't cancel for anything trivia like to go the pub instead.
How about that Dog? "
well to me that answers yes as thats another situation nothing to do with being pedantic, just honestly couldnt see anyone saying NO to no2 and actually meaning it, because some situations are actually more important than swinging. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *abio OP Man
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
okay..... let me clarify question 2.... lets take family out of it.
people will always have situations where real life stuff will get in the way......
so if you knew you were going to be free... and someone said to you
"look.... I know you like "x", I have a spare ticket for (insert event here)"
do you cancel??? ....
lets see morals now.......
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ig badMan
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"okay..... let me clarify question 2.... lets take family out of it.
people will always have situations where real life stuff will get in the way......
so if you knew you were going to be free... and someone said to you
"look.... I know you like "x", I have a spare ticket for (insert event here)"
do you cancel??? ....
lets see morals now.......
"
In all honesty........... No |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"the question was, dumping a meet for another situation? maybe i'm reading it wrong, i ignored the examples, he's a man
Pedantics pedantics !! But yes you are right he is a man .
Ok my answer is ...
1. no
2. If our children ( adults really) needed us for some reason, or periods turning up when they shouldn't then we would cancel.......but we wouldn't cancel for anything trivia like to go the pub instead.
How about that Dog?
well to me that answers yes as thats another situation nothing to do with being pedantic, just honestly couldnt see anyone saying NO to no2 and actually meaning it, because some situations are actually more important than swinging. "
I know, I was being cheeky, but you are right, there are some reasons that are important that people would no doubt cancel for. x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"okay..... let me clarify question 2.... lets take family out of it.
people will always have situations where real life stuff will get in the way......
so if you knew you were going to be free... and someone said to you
"look.... I know you like "x", I have a spare ticket for (insert event here)"
do you cancel??? ....
lets see morals now.......
"
Still YES, more postpone than cancel though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"okay..... let me clarify question 2.... lets take family out of it.
people will always have situations where real life stuff will get in the way......
so if you knew you were going to be free... and someone said to you
"look.... I know you like "x", I have a spare ticket for (insert event here)"
do you cancel??? ....
lets see morals now.......
"
In all honesty...no |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
1. No, I/We wouldn't cancel a meet for a 'better' meet, as someone stated before, we would only plan to meet those we are happy to meet anyway. we may ask the arranged meet if they would be up for another or others joining us.
2. This is a far tougher one, I am a music fan, love live music, so there is a chance if I happen to get the chance to see certain artists live then I may well do, then again, it's likely I would be going along without my partner, she would probably meet first, lol.
also, we love 'swinging', but it's not the most important thing in the world to us, if our children needed us or we couldn't find sufficient sitters then again yes we would cancel.
But to add, we do tend to plan when we know we have sufficient sitters, so unlikely to be a problem. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"okay..... let me clarify question 2.... lets take family out of it.
people will always have situations where real life stuff will get in the way......
so if you knew you were going to be free... and someone said to you
"look.... I know you like "x", I have a spare ticket for (insert event here)"
do you cancel??? ....
lets see morals now.......
"
NO cos if I wanted to see whatever that badly I would have bought my own ticket
Shona
x x x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
i could never cancel plans with someone for someone else thats just low and how would you feel if it was u
i would only cancel if i was ill or was on call with work and got called in
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"after reading a thread that was locked the other day, thought it was and interested topic so i have decided to split it into two.. and hope people are no so hot headed....
so ..... would you cancel a meet for a "better offer"..... in two different situations....
1) dumping a meet for a better meet?
2) dumping a meet for another situation? i.e world cup final down the pub with mates/ concert/ actually going to the world cup final.... ect ect....
..... and discuss........ "
No to both - would only cancel for a genuine emergency |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My time is limited so is that of my playmates so when we arrange to meet we do. They're all great fun and special in their own way and I've never cancelled for something "better"! 
One of my playmates cancelled on me as he met his mum whilst out and she invited herself back to his. Another cancelled as he was on the same train as my daughter and phoned to tell me she was on her way home.
I just had time to hide the restraints and toys and slip sweats over my erm play clothes.
I have cancelled a meet a day before when I realised I would have the house to myself and didn't need to travel to a meet. PJ's, Corrie, sofa to myself and a tub of Hagen Das! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Well if we had a meet arranged on Sunday and won the lottery on Saturday night our meet would be cancelled, might sound shallow, but I’m being completely honest, same if we had a meet booked in two weeks time and won an all expenses weekend away, unfortunately having to be taken on the same weekend we’ve planned our meet, then again it would be cancelled, sometimes certain situations only come around once in a lifetime, so would be lying if I said no to no2. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *abio OP Man
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"
NO cos if I wanted to see whatever that badly I would have bought my own ticket
Shona
x x x
*Coughs* kop-out *coughs*
What about you Fab what would you do? "
I'd be tempted to plead the 5th just for a laugh.....
I am steadfast on 1, where I would never cancel a meet for another one... I think that is as low as it gets in swinging circles......
for 2..... it is hard where i don't think you could say no to everything....
for example if I know I have a meet planned and someone said "here fab, I have a plane ticket to south africa and a ticket for the world cup final!" I think it would be neigh on impossible to say no....
I suppose it is almost a way of finding everyone's price.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
NO cos if I wanted to see whatever that badly I would have bought my own ticket
Shona
x x x
*Coughs* kop-out *coughs*
What about you Fab what would you do? "
Nope not a cop out at all, there is a certain someone I have wanted to see live for years, but whenever tickets go on sale Im either skint or cant get a sitter for the time I need one for. Means Im still waiting and he no longer tours so Im prob never gonna see him live 
And yes Fabio what would you do?? spill all I wont tell a soul honest
Shona
x x x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"after reading a thread that was locked the other day, thought it was and interested topic so i have decided to split it into two.. and hope people are no so hot headed....
so ..... would you cancel a meet for a "better offer"..... in two different situations....
1) dumping a meet for a better meet?
2) dumping a meet for another situation? i.e world cup final down the pub with mates/ concert/ actually going to the world cup final.... ect ect....
..... and discuss........ "
Sweetie, the original was my thread and I still would like to feel some guilt but I really don't, I just feel vilified! May I remind you all, IT WAS NOT A NO-SHOW, IT WAS 4 DAYS' NOTICE! lolol Get freaking over it!!!
Would you turn up and fuck someone you know you have all summer to fuck if you feel so minded rather than an hour or 2 of someone who won't be there long?
What sort of performance are you gonna give if you know you'd rather be elsewhere?
And Fabio, thanks for your supportive pm, really appreciated sweetie and I hope we continue to be friends.
But book in anyone on a World Cup match day? Even I'm not that silly!!! Love ya babe! xxx  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"after reading a thread that was locked the other day, thought it was and interested topic so i have decided to split it into two.. and hope people are no so hot headed....
so ..... would you cancel a meet for a "better offer"..... in two different situations....
1) dumping a meet for a better meet?
2) dumping a meet for another situation? i.e world cup final down the pub with mates/ concert/ actually going to the world cup final.... ect ect....
..... and discuss........
Sweetie, the original was my thread and I still would like to feel some guilt but I really don't, I just feel vilified! May I remind you all, IT WAS NOT A NO-SHOW, IT WAS 4 DAYS' NOTICE! lolol Get freaking over it!!!
Would you turn up and fuck someone you know you have all summer to fuck if you feel so minded rather than an hour or 2 of someone who won't be there long?
What sort of performance are you gonna give if you know you'd rather be elsewhere?
And Fabio, thanks for your supportive pm, really appreciated sweetie and I hope we continue to be friends.
But book in anyone on a World Cup match day? Even I'm not that silly!!! Love ya babe! xxx "
This thread isn't about you...and your aggresive attitude you really need to keep off these forums. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ig badMan
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"
NO cos if I wanted to see whatever that badly I would have bought my own ticket
Shona
x x x
*Coughs* kop-out *coughs*
What about you Fab what would you do?
I'd be tempted to plead the 5th just for a laugh.....
I am steadfast on 1, where I would never cancel a meet for another one... I think that is as low as it gets in swinging circles......
for 2..... it is hard where i don't think you could say no to everything....
for example if I know I have a meet planned and someone said "here fab, I have a plane ticket to south africa and a ticket for the world cup final!" I think it would be neigh on impossible to say no....
I suppose it is almost a way of finding everyone's price.... "
You have a ticket for the world cup final!!! How much you selling for |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I would only cancel a meet if I do not feel comfortable about the person I am meeting, e.g. when he says/does something that caused me to be concerned.
I believe it is bad form to ditch one offer in favour of a better one, and that applies to everything, and not just an offer to meet in the world of swinging.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
had it done to me...came down to who textfirst on he day apparently...which also (in his mind) was not time wasting...in fact, he suggested were-schedule and accused me of having attitude when i said no!
i'd never do that to anyone...no matter what |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *abio OP Man
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"had it done to me...came down to who textfirst on he day apparently...which also (in his mind) was not time wasting...in fact, he suggested were-schedule and accused me of having attitude when i said no!
i'd never do that to anyone...no matter what"
I think this is the reason why I would never do it, because I wouldn't want to be the one on the other end....... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I wouldnt canx one meet, to meet someone else...
To the second question, I wouldnt canx for something frivolous, like my mates wanting me to go down the pub with them. Something big like a suprise weekend away, yes i would canx. I would also hope that my planned meet would understand. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
NO cos if I wanted to see whatever that badly I would have bought my own ticket
Shona
x x x
*Coughs* kop-out *coughs*
What about you Fab what would you do?
I'd be tempted to plead the 5th just for a laugh.....
I am steadfast on 1, where I would never cancel a meet for another one... I think that is as low as it gets in swinging circles......
for 2..... it is hard where i don't think you could say no to everything....
for example if I know I have a meet planned and someone said "here fab, I have a plane ticket to south africa and a ticket for the world cup final!" I think it would be neigh on impossible to say no....
I suppose it is almost a way of finding everyone's price.... "
I feel so cheap!
You're talking cup final in South Africa I cancelled for an empty house, Corrie and a tub of Hagen Das! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
NO cos if I wanted to see whatever that badly I would have bought my own ticket
Shona
x x x
*Coughs* kop-out *coughs*
What about you Fab what would you do?
I'd be tempted to plead the 5th just for a laugh.....
I am steadfast on 1, where I would never cancel a meet for another one... I think that is as low as it gets in swinging circles......
for 2..... it is hard where i don't think you could say no to everything....
for example if I know I have a meet planned and someone said "here fab, I have a plane ticket to south africa and a ticket for the world cup final!" I think it would be neigh on impossible to say no....
I suppose it is almost a way of finding everyone's price....
I feel so cheap!
You're talking cup final in South Africa I cancelled for an empty house, Corrie and a tub of Hagen Das! "
hahaha! as long as it was a good flavour |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I feel so cheap!
You're talking cup final in South Africa I cancelled for an empty house, Corrie and a tub of Hagen Das! "
Offer me Hagen Das and I'll tell Brad and Angelina I'm too busy for them tomorrow! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
