FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Am I over re-acting?
Am I over re-acting?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Saw my fwb this morning gave him a nice treat, after a sesh he sed come over later, so I sed ok then, bin txtin durin the day and he sed would txt wen he was home haven't heard off him.
So I'm feelin a bit pissed off cos I txt sayin do u wanna c me again and he sed yeah course but not heard nefing since.
I bend over backwards 4 him, buy stuff he enjoys on a woman and do things he likes, I enjoy his company and we get on but it's not the 1st time he has cancelled or given me the silent treatment |
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Footy is on....prob forgot when he said he wanted to se you again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I knew he was goin 2 watch the footy but u dnt say bout meetin up if uve got no intention of doin so |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
eh, yes.
Sorry but that sounds like a nagging GF than a FWB... its only supposed to be if/when it suits you both.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Football I can only presume |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't know either of you or the situation so it's hard to tell if you're overreacting or not. Is he single? Married? Attached? There could be any number of reasons he's not in touch. |
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his wife found his play phone..? |
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So sorry to hear that ... what you have to realise is most men are complete TW@T's ... no matter what they might say to you between the sheets they are essentially led by what's between their legs ... he may be genuine and may have a genuine excuse ... you have to decide if he is worth the effort ... it is difficult sometimes to draw the line ... I try to treat others as I would wish myself to be treated, try to have some self respect and give every one the benefit of the doubt ... at least once !!!
Hope that has helped !!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I knew he was goin 2 watch the footy but u dnt say bout meetin up if uve got no intention of doin so"
It's not started yet so in that case he'll be in touch......depending on the result  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We spend quite a bit of time 2geva, wen we meet it's for several hours, talk pretty much everyday, and we get on really well. Just annoys me wen he says one thing and does another |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 14/06/14 22:42:40] |
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By *am123Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
"eh, yes.
Sorry but that sounds like a nagging GF than a FWB... its only supposed to be if/when it suits you both.
"
this  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I treat him how I like 2 b treated, just sumtimes he doesn't treat me the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I knew he was goin 2 watch the footy but u dnt say bout meetin up if uve got no intention of doin so"
He did have intentions to meet up but clearly something has come up. Blimey, relax |
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By *mmabluTV/TS
over a year ago
upton wirral |
Its the footy you have to understand these things,off myself in a minute |
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"So sorry to hear that ... what you have to realise is most men are complete TW@T's ... "
and no women ever act the same do they..?
there is good and bad in all.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Friends let friends down from time to time.
It is a simple fact of life.
The way some view a FWB relationship is that it is a kind of binding semi relationship without the commitment.
I prefer to think of FWB actually meaning 'fun with benefits'
In other words the fun is the core of the relationship, any bond or friendship arising out of it being the benefit.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wen he has bailed on me b4 he has usually txt but there has bin nothing just completely ignored me |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
When they can't/won't be pinned down to a time there is every indication there is no point stressing about whether they will turn up or not. Assume not and get on with what you want to do.
Two meets in one day with the same person is very friendly.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We spend quite a bit of time 2geva, wen we meet it's for several hours, talk pretty much everyday, and we get on really well. Just annoys me wen he says one thing and does another"
This sounds like a little more than FWB.  |
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Does he have any bunnies we need to be concerned about?! |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
If hes out for the football... the game doesn't start til 11pm our time... he may still be over later.
Maybe stop texting him and chill out. from your post you sound a little full on. Stop bending over backwards for someone who is showing hes not that interested.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wen he has bailed on me b4 he has usually txt but there has bin nothing just completely ignored me"
Maybe he can't decipher the text speak? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Like I sed we get on really well, we have had our moments and fallen out but usually over stupid stuff |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wen he has bailed on me b4 he has usually txt but there has bin nothing just completely ignored me"
He's possibly pissed, chill and enjoy your evening. Or grab yourself a booty call somewhere else to take your mind off it. |
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"Wen he has bailed on me b4 he has usually txt but there has bin nothing just completely ignored me
Maybe he can't decipher the text speak?"
Lol he's probably still trying to work out what she said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We spend quite a bit of time 2geva, wen we meet it's for several hours, talk pretty much everyday, and we get on really well. Just annoys me wen he says one thing and does another"
It sounds as though its a lot more to you than it is to him  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Need to look at all angles. Good and bad in everyone. Must be a reason why he hasnt replied weather you except that reason and move on is down to you. Fully understand its annoying to be let down but im sorry to say it happens |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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God I couldn't deal with that, sounds like a relationship lol. Possibly overreacting, just chill, he'll message when he can. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How many messages has he not replied to, he's probably about to watch the footy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm just annoyed that he does this, he's quick enough 2 txt tellin me 2 do this, wear that and I do it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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did anyone else crack up at the bending over backwards part  |
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"We spend quite a bit of time 2geva, wen we meet it's for several hours, talk pretty much everyday, and we get on really well. Just annoys me wen he says one thing and does another
This sounds like a little more than FWB. "
Well on one side it does |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just annoyed that he does this, he's quick enough 2 txt tellin me 2 do this, wear that and I do it"
With respect it looks like hes taking you for a bit of a mug. |
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"I'm just annoyed that he does this, he's quick enough 2 txt tellin me 2 do this, wear that and I do it"
More fool you then!!! |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"I'm just annoyed that he does this, he's quick enough 2 txt tellin me 2 do this, wear that and I do it"
its your call to do that. Sounds like he enjoys having you at his beck and call when it suits, and excuse me being blunt, you're daft enough to do it. Have a bit of self respect. |
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"I'm just annoyed that he does this, he's quick enough 2 txt tellin me 2 do this, wear that and I do it"
Well then grow a pair and don't pander to him!!!! |
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"I'm just annoyed that he does this, he's quick enough 2 txt tellin me 2 do this, wear that and I do it"
Just keeping you on your toes |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'm just annoyed that he does this, he's quick enough 2 txt tellin me 2 do this, wear that and I do it"
Therein lies your problem: you expect him to behave towards you as you do towards him. He treats you mean and you remain keen. You act keen and he remains mean.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm 2 nice, a few ppl have sed that, but it's not me 2 b a bitch and b mean |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Anyone else wondering if he reads the forums too? What would he be thinking? |
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"I'm just annoyed that he does this, he's quick enough 2 txt tellin me 2 do this, wear that and I do it
its your call to do that. Sounds like he enjoys having you at his beck and call when it suits, and excuse me being blunt, you're daft enough to do it. Have a bit of self respect."
Totally agree with this. Think about yourself and what pleases you, not him. Hes only a fwb not your bf. |
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"I'm 2 nice, a few ppl have sed that, but it's not me 2 b a bitch and b mean"
You don't have to be a bitch just don't be so available to him. If ge asks to meet say you are doing something else or you will get back to him. If he doesn't like that then you know he is just using you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've not seen/texted/spoken to boyfriends as often as you seem to rely on your fwb.....it does seem like an overreaction on the surface of it to be honest....either that or the relationship you have with him means more to you than it does to him? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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He's had it easy and I've allowed that I need 2 man up so 2 speak |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just annoyed that he does this, he's quick enough 2 txt tellin me 2 do this, wear that and I do it
Well then grow a pair and don't pander to him!!!!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He's had it easy and I've allowed that I need 2 man up so 2 speak"
You do. So ignore him for a few days or something |
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"I'm 2 nice, a few ppl have sed that, but it's not me 2 b a bitch and b mean"
There's a difference from being nice to being a doormat and your sounding like the latter. It's not about being mean its about having some self respect. It's Saturday night and your sat on here working yourself up when he's likely out on the lash not giving a shit. Go figure .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fwb
Eg he can do what he wants without having to explain himself
He has already seen you one time today
Just chill and say to him whenever you chat next that it annoyed you as you could of made plans if he had let you know |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I dnt rely on him, wen we 1st started talkin we just clicked from day one, and have txt or spoken everyday since a choice he made, meet up wen I'm in the area and we hang out. And the stuff we txt probably isn't wot normally gets sed in a fwb situation but I've not made him say the things he says or does |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
honestly sounds like it means more to you than him... and being blunt, some folks will say anything for an easy shag.
I really hope he's not taking the piss, but it sounds like he might be, and as for doing exactly what he wants, and wearing what he likes, sod that! What do you actually get out of this? Its supposed to benefit both sides, not just you being his easy option. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Cheers guys for ur thoughts and opinions |
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Id always agree a time, so that it is clear what has been agreed. People not showing or notifying are only worth deleting generally. And it is not good for us to give too much, imo. Long bath and a treat sounds in order, followed by good sex soon. |
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No you are not over reacting.
It doesn't matter what the relationship is , it's bad form to tell someone to come over and then leave them hanging.
There may be a perfectly good reason like phone problems , prison or death but failing those he's in the wrong.
Incidentally - It does sound as if you are giving freely and he is taking.
I'd widen your circle of fwb's if I were you. |
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"I'm just annoyed that he does this, he's quick enough 2 txt tellin me 2 do this, wear that and I do it"
More fool you! |
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"We spend quite a bit of time 2geva, wen we meet it's for several hours, talk pretty much everyday, and we get on really well. Just annoys me wen he says one thing and does another
This sounds like a little more than FWB.
Well on one side it does "
Doesn't it just!  I've dumped playmates for less: stroppy and needy, covered by my adult children thanks very much, who needs it from a fuck buddy?!!
Next! |
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"I'm just annoyed that he does this, he's quick enough 2 txt tellin me 2 do this, wear that and I do it
With respect it looks like hes taking you for a bit of a mug."
No he's not! It's her choice to jump through his hoops. |
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"I'm just annoyed that he does this, he's quick enough 2 txt tellin me 2 do this, wear that and I do it
More fool you then!!!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Friends let friends down from time to time.
It is a simple fact of life.
The way some view a FWB relationship is that it is a kind of binding semi relationship without the commitment.
I prefer to think of FWB actually meaning 'fun with benefits'
In other words the fun is the core of the relationship, any bond or friendship arising out of it being the benefit.
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Nailed it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wen he has bailed on me b4 he has usually txt but there has bin nothing just completely ignored me
He's possibly pissed, chill and enjoy your evening. Or grab yourself a booty call somewhere else to take your mind off it. "
deff get yourself a booty call.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just annoyed that he does this, he's quick enough 2 txt tellin me 2 do this, wear that and I do it"
more fool you hun.
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Could b football or hes had his cake n ate it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Over reacting...
Ye are fuck buddies nothing else...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe he does not understand what your writing (text talk/words) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Text speak had nothing 2 do with it.
Thanks for the opinions and thoughts etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Text speak had nothing 2 do with it.
Thanks for the opinions and thoughts etc"
Feelings deeper than they should be perhaps? He might sense that and back off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Choosing football over sex? A man with priorities so far out of whack deserves to be chastised!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm 2 nice, a few ppl have sed that, but it's not me 2 b a bitch and b mean
There's a difference from being nice to being a doormat and your sounding like the latter. It's not about being mean its about having some self respect. It's Saturday night and your sat on here working yourself up when he's likely out on the lash not giving a shit. Go figure ...."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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(m) If people find watching a stupid ball game more exciting & better than sex with a ready & willing partner/FB, then, there's got to be something wrong with them. I love my motorsport but there's no way on earth I would ever turn the wife down just so I can watch a race. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Saw my fwb this morning gave him a nice treat, after a sesh he sed come over later, so I sed ok then, bin txtin durin the day and he sed would txt wen he was home haven't heard off him.
So I'm feelin a bit pissed off cos I txt sayin do u wanna c me again and he sed yeah course but not heard nefing since.
Don't bend over backwards for your friend with benefits.Thats all he is.Its as and when and its got to suit you too!
I bend over backwards 4 him, buy stuff he enjoys on a woman and do things he likes, I enjoy his company and we get on but it's not the 1st time he has cancelled or given me the silent treatment"
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Sorry to ask but what is a FWB?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry to ask but what is a FWB??"
Friend with benefits. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"(m) If people find watching a stupid ball game more exciting & better than sex with a ready & willing partner/FB, then, there's got to be something wrong with them. I love my motorsport but there's no way on earth I would ever turn the wife down just so I can watch a race."
But they arnt man and Wife,The Lady has quite plainly stated that she does what he wants when he wants so now maybe he has decided that he wants to watch the Football and have a beer with his mates after giving her a seeing to.
Gimp |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
Don't bend over backwards for him. He's an fwb not a boyfriend (and I wouldn't do it even then).
Don't be always readily available. Have a life of your own.
He owes you nothing and you owe him nothing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Find someone else to meet. . . . Give him some of his own medicine when he text. . . . Keep him waiting. . . He will either start giving respect or you will know he is yet but another knob head who has been exposed. . . X x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We spend quite a bit of time 2geva, wen we meet it's for several hours, talk pretty much everyday, and we get on really well. Just annoys me wen he says one thing and does another"
Men do this all the time. I'm married to one who fails to manage this at all. He says he will be home and then isn't. you can't get a reply from their phone, so that is men for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Find someone else to meet. . . . Give him some of his own medicine when he text. . . . Keep him waiting. . . He will either start giving respect or you will know he is yet but another knob head who has been exposed. . . X x "
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Did he text you...I'm being nosey lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How many men are out there?
One man's downful is another man's catch
Her |
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"Over reacting...
Ye are fuck buddies nothing else... "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We spend quite a bit of time 2geva, wen we meet it's for several hours, talk pretty much everyday, and we get on really well. Just annoys me wen he says one thing and does another
Men do this all the time. I'm married to one who fails to manage this at all. He says he will be home and then isn't. you can't get a reply from their phone, so that is men for you. "
Realy my husbands not like that, cant think i would put up with that.
not when its your husband. |
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Why is everyone blaming males.....some women are just as bad if not worse....OP just find another FWB and go and have fun... |
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By *osweet69Couple
over a year ago
portsmouth |
"honestly sounds like it means more to you than him... and being blunt, some folks will say anything for an easy shag.
I really hope he's not taking the piss, but it sounds like he might be, and as for doing exactly what he wants, and wearing what he likes, sod that! What do you actually get out of this? Its supposed to benefit both sides, not just you being his easy option."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is everyone blaming males.....some women are just as bad if not worse....OP just find another FWB and go and have fun..."
well i guess more men are like that than women? its women who have to be at home to take care of the kids and stuff where as men usualy have more freedom. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just annoyed that he does this, he's quick enough 2 txt tellin me 2 do this, wear that and I do it"
Then sometimes dont do it. Start keeping him at arms length or he will always use you like a puppet,if he says jump dont always jump. Be strong and more in control |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really do think you're over reacting in my opinion.
You saw him yesterday anyway, you've acknowledged that you're just FWB so what he chooses to do with the rest of his day and with who is quite honestly not your business.
Now regardless of the relationship it would have been polite or respectful to at least reply to you however at the same time your relationship is just sex, so does he really need to justify himself to you?
Quite honestly I think people can get confused in these type of relationships and lines start getting blurry, if you want more commitment from a man frankly you won't find it here.
Hope you sort it out one way or another though. |
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"Why is everyone blaming males.....some women are just as bad if not worse....OP just find another FWB and go and have fun...
well i guess more men are like that than women? its women who have to be at home to take care of the kids and stuff where as men usualy have more freedom."
No I would say that women outweigh and it's 2014 women are no longer chained to the kitchen sink looking after the kids...women have freedom just as men |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We spend quite a bit of time 2geva, wen we meet it's for several hours, talk pretty much everyday, and we get on really well. Just annoys me wen he says one thing and does another
Men do this all the time. I'm married to one who fails to manage this at all. He says he will be home and then isn't. you can't get a reply from their phone, so that is men for you.
Realy my husbands not like that, cant think i would put up with that.
not when its your husband."
Believe me he got it both barrels. but it makes no difference. I hope your husband doesn't turn into one like this as you have no idea what it's like not knowing where they are or worse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is everyone blaming males.....some women are just as bad if not worse....OP just find another FWB and go and have fun..."
(thum
b)here! Here!
Her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is everyone blaming males.....some women are just as bad if not worse....OP just find another FWB and go and have fun...
well i guess more men are like that than women? its women who have to be at home to take care of the kids and stuff where as men usualy have more freedom.
No I would say that women outweigh and it's 2014 women are no longer chained to the kitchen sink looking after the kids...women have freedom just as men "
wish it was so. kids need looking after, lots of housework to be done and its mostly done by women.
you cant take kids with you everywhere you want to go. |
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"Why is everyone blaming males.....some women are just as bad if not worse....OP just find another FWB and go and have fun...
well i guess more men are like that than women? its women who have to be at home to take care of the kids and stuff where as men usualy have more freedom.
No I would say that women outweigh and it's 2014 women are no longer chained to the kitchen sink looking after the kids...women have freedom just as men
wish it was so. kids need looking after, lots of housework to be done and its mostly done by women.
you cant take kids with you everywhere you want to go."
Well I must be of the new age following....it's no longer the men folk who are the bread winners in the family...far more women are working and the husband is at home looking after the kids while the woman goes out to work..men have 2 arms and legs etc so can also do housework.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did he text you...I'm being nosey lol "
lol glad you asked.i was wondering too.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is everyone blaming males.....some women are just as bad if not worse....OP just find another FWB and go and have fun...
well i guess more men are like that than women? its women who have to be at home to take care of the kids and stuff where as men usualy have more freedom.
No I would say that women outweigh and it's 2014 women are no longer chained to the kitchen sink looking after the kids...women have freedom just as men
wish it was so. kids need looking after, lots of housework to be done and its mostly done by women.
you cant take kids with you everywhere you want to go.
Well I must be of the new age following....it's no longer the men folk who are the bread winners in the family...far more women are working and the husband is at home looking after the kids while the woman goes out to work..men have 2 arms and legs etc so can also do housework.."
Bugger that your STRAIGHT off my Christmas card list
Gimp |
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There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;
there's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.
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"Why is everyone blaming males.....some women are just as bad if not worse....OP just find another FWB and go and have fun...
well i guess more men are like that than women? its women who have to be at home to take care of the kids and stuff where as men usualy have more freedom.
No I would say that women outweigh and it's 2014 women are no longer chained to the kitchen sink looking after the kids...women have freedom just as men
wish it was so. kids need looking after, lots of housework to be done and its mostly done by women.
you cant take kids with you everywhere you want to go.
Well I must be of the new age following....it's no longer the men folk who are the bread winners in the family...far more women are working and the husband is at home looking after the kids while the woman goes out to work..men have 2 arms and legs etc so can also do housework..
Bugger that your STRAIGHT off my Christmas card list
Gimp"
Oh gimp I'm sad  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is everyone blaming males.....some women are just as bad if not worse....OP just find another FWB and go and have fun...
well i guess more men are like that than women? its women who have to be at home to take care of the kids and stuff where as men usualy have more freedom.
No I would say that women outweigh and it's 2014 women are no longer chained to the kitchen sink looking after the kids...women have freedom just as men
wish it was so. kids need looking after, lots of housework to be done and its mostly done by women.
you cant take kids with you everywhere you want to go.
Well I must be of the new age following....it's no longer the men folk who are the bread winners in the family...far more women are working and the husband is at home looking after the kids while the woman goes out to work..men have 2 arms and legs etc so can also do housework.."
Yes i know but its still mostly the women who have to do most of the childcare and housework, not as many house husbands as housewives. |
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"Why is everyone blaming males..."
Because they think the OP has a gash. |
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"Why is everyone blaming males.....some women are just as bad if not worse....OP just find another FWB and go and have fun...
well i guess more men are like that than women? its women who have to be at home to take care of the kids and stuff where as men usualy have more freedom.
No I would say that women outweigh and it's 2014 women are no longer chained to the kitchen sink looking after the kids...women have freedom just as men
wish it was so. kids need looking after, lots of housework to be done and its mostly done by women.
you cant take kids with you everywhere you want to go.
Well I must be of the new age following....it's no longer the men folk who are the bread winners in the family...far more women are working and the husband is at home looking after the kids while the woman goes out to work..men have 2 arms and legs etc so can also do housework..
Yes i know but its still mostly the women who have to do most of the childcare and housework, not as many house husbands as housewives."
We will agree to disagree on that one Dora...we have two sets of opinions and we are likely not to agree on this subject...I'm more of a modern age woman rather than being suppressed into the 1950's way of thinking |
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"Why is everyone blaming males...
Because they think the OP has a gash."
Think you have hit the nail on the head there polo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We spend quite a bit of time 2geva, wen we meet it's for several hours, talk pretty much everyday, and we get on really well. Just annoys me wen he says one thing and does another
Men do this all the time. I'm married to one who fails to manage this at all. He says he will be home and then isn't. you can't get a reply from their phone, so that is men for you.
Realy my husbands not like that, cant think i would put up with that.
not when its your husband.
Believe me he got it both barrels. but it makes no difference. I hope your husband doesn't turn into one like this as you have no idea what it's like not knowing where they are or worse "
He used to be a bit like that with his first wife, not like that with me though and hes too old to change now. |
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"Why is everyone blaming males...
Because they think the OP has a gash.
Think you have hit the nail on the head there polo "
Even when there are strings the size of docking ropes on show... the desperate still live in hope they are just attached to a tampon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is everyone blaming males...
Because they think the OP has a gash.
Think you have hit the nail on the head there polo
Even when there are strings the size of docking ropes on show... the desperate still live in hope they are just attached to a tampon."
Classic 
But true
Gimp |
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"Why is everyone blaming males...
Because they think the OP has a gash.
Think you have hit the nail on the head there polo
Even when there are strings the size of docking ropes on show... the desperate still live in hope they are just attached to a tampon."
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"Sorry to ask but what is a FWB??
Friend with benefits."
Realised as soon as I asked sorry for being a bit stupid lol x |
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"
Now regardless of the relationship it would have been polite or respectful to at least reply
"
That's the point to me. It sounds like the OP is getting a bit fed up with the inconsistency and disrespect of her friends behaviour, but I would use it as a wake up call. Time to make changes, find other FWB's so as not to have all your eggs in one basket or get too focussed on one person!
I can empathise, because it irritates me if I cannot get hold of the one I want to see most, and sometimes I've missed out by making other plans too soon, but I think you have to, especially using a site like this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"(m) If people find watching a stupid ball game more exciting & better than sex with a ready & willing partner/FB, then, there's got to be something wrong with them. I love my motorsport but there's no way on earth I would ever turn the wife down just so I can watch a race.
But they arnt man and Wife,The Lady has quite plainly stated that she does what he wants when he wants so now maybe he has decided that he wants to watch the Football and have a beer with his mates after giving her a seeing to.
Gimp"
I know they ain't man & wife, that's why I put "partner/FB". Learn to read properly. They are "friends" with benefits. That means "Friends" that get "intimate" regularly. Is that the way you would treat someone that's supposed to be a close friend you get intimate with? Fuck them & then not even bother to reply when they try talking to you? Say one thing & do the opposite? I don't blame OP for being a bit pissed off a all. Good "friends" don't treat "friends" like that. |
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By *nigmatic1Woman
over a year ago
A seaside town near you! |
"I'm just annoyed that he does this, he's quick enough 2 txt tellin me 2 do this, wear that and I do it
its your call to do that. Sounds like he enjoys having you at his beck and call when it suits, and excuse me being blunt, you're daft enough to do it. Have a bit of self respect."
Definitely this...it's called pride! |
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By *nigmatic1Woman
over a year ago
A seaside town near you! |
"I'm just annoyed that he does this, he's quick enough 2 txt tellin me 2 do this, wear that and I do it
its your call to do that. Sounds like he enjoys having you at his beck and call when it suits, and excuse me being blunt, you're daft enough to do it. Have a bit of self respect."
Definitely this...it's called pride! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hey hon, don't want to rain on your parade but it sounds like you got over involved a little. This is not really a site for relationships in the conventional use of the word. You sound like a sweet girl but try not to expect "relationship" status on here. It rarely if ever happens and you can get hurt if you expect more than lust. Not being bad, just concerned you might be expecting too much. Don't like to think of anyone being hurt. On the flip side, it could be a very real reason to not getting in contact and you have nothing to worry about. lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just annoyed that he does this, he's quick enough 2 txt tellin me 2 do this, wear that and I do it"
That's your answer then !!! He has coz he can !!! Simples!!! |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Why is everyone blaming males.....some women are just as bad if not worse....OP just find another FWB and go and have fun...
well i guess more men are like that than women? its women who have to be at home to take care of the kids and stuff where as men usualy have more freedom.
No I would say that women outweigh and it's 2014 women are no longer chained to the kitchen sink looking after the kids...women have freedom just as men
wish it was so. kids need looking after, lots of housework to be done and its mostly done by women.
you cant take kids with you everywhere you want to go.
Well I must be of the new age following....it's no longer the men folk who are the bread winners in the family...far more women are working and the husband is at home looking after the kids while the woman goes out to work..men have 2 arms and legs etc so can also do housework..
Yes i know but its still mostly the women who have to do most of the childcare and housework, not as many house husbands as housewives.
We will agree to disagree on that one Dora...we have two sets of opinions and we are likely not to agree on this subject...I'm more of a modern age woman rather than being suppressed into the 1950's way of thinking "
It is not being suppressed to want to look after your children rather then be the breadwinner....it is called a womans choice if they had both options to choose from. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is everyone blaming males.....some women are just as bad if not worse....OP just find another FWB and go and have fun...
well i guess more men are like that than women? its women who have to be at home to take care of the kids and stuff where as men usualy have more freedom.
No I would say that women outweigh and it's 2014 women are no longer chained to the kitchen sink looking after the kids...women have freedom just as men
wish it was so. kids need looking after, lots of housework to be done and its mostly done by women.
you cant take kids with you everywhere you want to go.
Well I must be of the new age following....it's no longer the men folk who are the bread winners in the family...far more women are working and the husband is at home looking after the kids while the woman goes out to work..men have 2 arms and legs etc so can also do housework..
Yes i know but its still mostly the women who have to do most of the childcare and housework, not as many house husbands as housewives.
We will agree to disagree on that one Dora...we have two sets of opinions and we are likely not to agree on this subject...I'm more of a modern age woman rather than being suppressed into the 1950's way of thinking
It is not being suppressed to want to look after your children rather then be the breadwinner....it is called a womans choice if they had both options to choose from."
Nice to have that choice most women would rather be looking after their kids. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When my kids were under school age I had a evening job and was with them daytimes. Had to have job else no money spare for the extras. I applaud the full time working mums that I know and the ones I don't. I don't know how they do it
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When my kids were under school age I had a evening job and was with them daytimes. Had to have job else no money spare for the extras. I applaud the full time working mums that I know and the ones I don't. I don't know how they do it
"
You were lucky your hubby could look after them for you in the evening.
and he helped pay for everything too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe somethings happened to him or his phone
X either way x don't spent time on feeling crap about it x relax |
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"Why is everyone blaming males.....some women are just as bad if not worse....OP just find another FWB and go and have fun...
well i guess more men are like that than women? its women who have to be at home to take care of the kids and stuff where as men usualy have more freedom.
No I would say that women outweigh and it's 2014 women are no longer chained to the kitchen sink looking after the kids...women have freedom just as men
wish it was so. kids need looking after, lots of housework to be done and its mostly done by women.
you cant take kids with you everywhere you want to go.
Well I must be of the new age following....it's no longer the men folk who are the bread winners in the family...far more women are working and the husband is at home looking after the kids while the woman goes out to work..men have 2 arms and legs etc so can also do housework..
Yes i know but its still mostly the women who have to do most of the childcare and housework, not as many house husbands as housewives.
We will agree to disagree on that one Dora...we have two sets of opinions and we are likely not to agree on this subject...I'm more of a modern age woman rather than being suppressed into the 1950's way of thinking
It is not being suppressed to want to look after your children rather then be the breadwinner....it is called a womans choice if they had both options to choose from.
Nice to have that choice most women would rather be looking after their kids."
Possibly but I know a few that have gone back to work and their partners/husbands are looking after the kids and it works for them... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When my kids were under school age I had a evening job and was with them daytimes. Had to have job else no money spare for the extras. I applaud the full time working mums that I know and the ones I don't. I don't know how they do it
You were lucky your hubby could look after them for you in the evening.
and he helped pay for everything too."
His wages were not good back then. And mine were not either but we got by. Good grandparents allowed me to do so as they had them till he got home. I wasn't complaining I know how lucky I was
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Yep, completely overreacting.
You are FWB's, not in a relationship. He doesn't need to explain anything to you nor you to him if the situation was reversed.
Women do this. Men do this. People do this; there are no gender discrimination's in our experience. Friends are friends, they are not beholden to each other and friends do not have to explain the minutiae of their day to each other. If they say they are going to do one thing and don't then big deal..the world won't end and although it may a little irritating it's not really a significant problem now is it?
You just go and do your own thing or have fun with someone else |
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Generally when people start moaning about “I did this and that for them” like it means they are ‘OWED’ something, I think ….. what a load of bollox!
If someone asks you to do something you have a choice:
a) Not do it because you don’t want to.
b) Do it because you want to…in which case they should shut the fuck up!
Now the problems occur when someone who is not being totally honest about their contentment with NO STRINGS and then comes another option:
c) Do it because you are so desperate to be something you are not to impress another person for fear they will fuck off with someone else.
People who choose option c) inevitably turn into a bitter ball of resentment… rather than looking back on the shagging with a smile.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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No he has not bin in contact, and sum1 sed before that I am annoyed with the fact that he says one thing and does another without the decency 2 say no I can't meet or whatever.
I'm not looking 4 a relationship with this guy and we have had that convo, it would take sum1 pretty special 4 him 2 decide 2 have a relationship
As friends I would never say im goin 2 do sumfing and then decide the opposite without sending a txt 2 say I'm not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No you are not over reacting.
It doesn't matter what the relationship is , it's bad form to tell someone to come over and then leave them hanging.
There may be a perfectly good reason like phone problems , prison or death but failing those he's in the wrong.
Incidentally - It does sound as if you are giving freely and he is taking.
I'd widen your circle of fwb's if I were you. "
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"No you are not over reacting.
It doesn't matter what the relationship is , it's bad form to tell someone to come over and then leave them hanging.
There may be a perfectly good reason like phone problems , prison or death but failing those he's in the wrong.
Incidentally - It does sound as if you are giving freely and he is taking.
I'd widen your circle of fwb's if I were you.
"
I missed whoever said this, but I agree totally. I am sorry, no strings does not mean no manners to me, I may forget to return a friends text sometimes but would not dream of doing so deliberately !!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No you are not over reacting.
It doesn't matter what the relationship is , it's bad form to tell someone to come over and then leave them hanging.
There may be a perfectly good reason like phone problems , prison or death but failing those he's in the wrong.
Incidentally - It does sound as if you are giving freely and he is taking.
I'd widen your circle of fwb's if I were you.
I missed whoever said this, but I agree totally. I am sorry, no strings does not mean no manners to me, I may forget to return a friends text sometimes but would not dream of doing so deliberately !!
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No you are not over reacting.
It doesn't matter what the relationship is , it's bad form to tell someone to come over and then leave them hanging.
There may be a perfectly good reason like phone problems , prison or death but failing those he's in the wrong.
Incidentally - It does sound as if you are giving freely and he is taking.
I'd widen your circle of fwb's if I were you.
I missed whoever said this, but I agree totally. I am sorry, no strings does not mean no manners to me, I may forget to return a friends text sometimes but would not dream of doing so deliberately !!
"
It was Granny. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have kinda heard off him but it's msgs on here |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"I have kinda heard off him but it's msgs on here "
Hope you didn't answer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No you are not over reacting.
It doesn't matter what the relationship is , it's bad form to tell someone to come over and then leave them hanging.
There may be a perfectly good reason like phone problems , prison or death but failing those he's in the wrong.
Incidentally - It does sound as if you are giving freely and he is taking.
I'd widen your circle of fwb's if I were you.
"
I'm sort of between this camp and the don't be a doormat camp. Yes, he should have just sent a simple text to say his plans had changed for the evening and he wouldn't be coming back so that you could have done something else, that's simple good manners...but part of me is thinking that he didn't do this because then if he did fancy a quickie later he knew you'd be sat waiting for him to get in touch. Think you need to be doing what works for you on here, and if that fits in with him and his plans then great, if it doesn't then make plans with someone else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dus e spk lke u do? If nt then e prob dus nt undastand. |
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"No he has not bin in contact, and sum1 sed before that I am annoyed with the fact that he says one thing and does another without the decency 2 say no I can't meet or whatever.
I'm not looking 4 a relationship with this guy and we have had that convo, it would take sum1 pretty special 4 him 2 decide 2 have a relationship
As friends I would never say im goin 2 do sumfing and then decide the opposite without sending a txt 2 say I'm not"
He's definitely calling the shots and I'd be insulted if he said 'it would take somebody pretty special to have a relationship with'. Have some self respect and walk away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No he has not bin in contact, and sum1 sed before that I am annoyed with the fact that he says one thing and does another without the decency 2 say no I can't meet or whatever.
I'm not looking 4 a relationship with this guy and we have had that convo, it would take sum1 pretty special 4 him 2 decide 2 have a relationship
As friends I would never say im goin 2 do sumfing and then decide the opposite without sending a txt 2 say I'm not"
Say goodbye to him and look for someone who will be more reliable. Oh and sorry but the text speak is a bit annoying. I sometimes do it but very rarely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Perhaps hes trying to understand what the f*** you are on about on your txts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps hes trying to understand what the f*** you are on about on your txts "
Do you mean in your texts ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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He understands my texts lol
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"Perhaps hes trying to understand what the f*** you are on about on your txts "
Maybe he doesn't have a problem with reading? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I treat him how I like 2 b treated, just sumtimes he doesn't treat me the same"
May be that you go too far for what the situation calls for. As just FWB can you really expect more than what he gives? If he is polite, friendly, good company and fun, can't really see what more can be asked for. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I have kinda heard off him but it's msgs on here "
A message here is still contact. Does he read the fora?
You need to decide how YOU want to be treated.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps hes trying to understand what the f*** you are on about on your txts
Maybe he doesn't have a problem with reading?"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i wasn't aware FWB needed to text all the time
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I want 2 b treated wiv respect cos wot he did wasn't nice, even as a fwb I'm still a friend and should b treated like one, he wouldn't do it 2 his mates so y should he do it 2 me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want 2 b treated wiv respect cos wot he did wasn't nice, even as a fwb I'm still a friend and should b treated like one, he wouldn't do it 2 his mates so y should he do it 2 me"
Exactly. Tell him what you want- if he doesn't want the same it's time to find a new friend. x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The texting all the time just happened from the time we 1st started talking, there hasn't bin a day where we haven't spoken, txt or seen each other. The stuff that gets sed probably isn't the usual stuff ud say 2 a fwb but I've gone wiv it and questioned something's because I didn't want him sayin it because he felt he had to |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm a nice person probably too nice, but I treat people how I like to be treated, if I say I'm going to meet up with someone or I say I'm going to do what I've said, i very rarely go against it or if I can't make it then I text or ring to say. |
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I'd say step away from the situation for a while it sounds like you are a bit confused with the situation... |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"The texting all the time just happened from the time we 1st started talking, there hasn't bin a day where we haven't spoken, txt or seen each other. The stuff that gets sed probably isn't the usual stuff ud say 2 a fwb but I've gone wiv it and questioned something's because I didn't want him sayin it because he felt he had to"
Speaking and seeing other so often can set up expectations.
YOU need to decide how YOU will be treated. Accepting that he doesn't treat you with respect and allowing him to continue to do it will just bring on more of the same.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have no expectations and I know wot things come 1st |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have no expectations and I know wot things come 1st"
YOU come first. xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I know what I've got to do, thanks for your thoughts and opinions |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The best way to get over someone is under someone else! Seriously whether this man is a friend, lover, potential boyfriend whatever he is showing you no manners. if he doesn't respect your time or your feelings you have to ask yourself is he a real friend or just when it suits him? There are so many gorgeous men on here desperate to be with us girls that If the one you choose to be with does not make you feel respected then you simply have to move on - Harsh but true xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Suppose he's given me sum confidence about myself |
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about the disrespect comments ...i wonder if the guy just took everything at face value and thought you would be fwb ...its all abit full on for me ..i think if he read this thread he would probably run for the hills |
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"The texting all the time just happened from the time we 1st started talking, there hasn't bin a day where we haven't spoken, txt or seen each other. The stuff that gets sed probably isn't the usual stuff ud say 2 a fwb but I've gone wiv it and questioned something's because I didn't want him sayin it because he felt he had to"
I def think this is more like bf than fwb ru getting out of it what u want i know u said he's let u down but when u meet do u get what u want too ? If so i cant see the problem if not find another fwb its not worth stressing over |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Suppose he's given me sum confidence about myself"
you shouldnt need a man to give you confidence, you need to ditch him asap
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"The best way to get over someone is under someone else! Seriously whether this man is a friend, lover, potential boyfriend whatever he is showing you no manners. if he doesn't respect your time or your feelings you have to ask yourself is he a real friend or just when it suits him? There are so many gorgeous men on here desperate to be with us girls that If the one you choose to be with does not make you feel respected then you simply have to move on - Harsh but true xxx "
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Hypothetical Situation:
I shagged a Friend with Benefits this morning - I use the word 'friend' loosely as it's a friendship formed through a casual sex agreement. This isn't someone who has always been a friend or even part of my social circle - it's a friendship of convenience.
Anyway, I shagged him this morning, exchanged texts after he left and then... he sent an odd text asking if we would meet again. I thought this was a bit needy as we had already established an on going hook-up for sex thing. So I replied "yeah sure".
But the texts keep coming. I've already said I'd text later - hoping he would take the hint.
All I wanted to do was get something to eat, have a nap and have some time to myself... so I switched my phone off.
Now let me be clear, when I said "yeah sure" about meeting again, I didn't think it meant right now. It was just a general agreement to the idea of it happening sometime in the future.
Fuck me, the next thing is he's posting on the site we both use because I'd not been in touch for a couple of hours. He's saying how he bends over backwards to keep me happy, doing stuff he doesn't want to just to keep me happy and making out like I'm using him.
I'm getting slated by people for being disrespectful and even after getting in touch he's still seeking sympathy by posting that he's too nice for his own good.
Your advice please.... should I ditch the fucker and check my pets are alive?
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By *igglyjWoman
over a year ago
Manchester |
But he might be worried about you because you haven't replied and would normally!
No he is just stressing about your commitment to one another! When in fact the only commitment is to occasionally have fun/ a fuck... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I treat him how I like 2 b treated, just sumtimes he doesn't treat me the same"
Doesn't matter if you fwb, you still deserve to be respected back the way you treat him...
Sounds like you are going out of your way to please him and getting nothing back..
He knows your there for him no matter how he treats you, and he will still get a shag out of it...
Please do yourself a favour no matter how much you like him I'm sure he doesn't feel same, have some dignity and bin him.
Plenty of guys around who will will respect you and treat you how you deserve to be treated xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe you should bend over forwards in future!! |
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