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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
I have a theory I'd like opinions on please.
Now, firstly, we all know people lie on here, (shocking eh?!), so I'm excluding them from the theory.
Single men (usually) say on their profiles that they are single. If the profile does not comment on their relationship status, they are very likely married or in a relationship, and their other half doesn't know they are here.
Your thoughts and observations?
(Note: I'm commenting on men because I don't look at enough women's profiles to know if it applies to women too. Comments on women's profiles from people who have an opinion are welcome too) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're right some men have 2 profiles one with partner (couple) and another saying single, horny or greedy depends on how you look at it, think you can usually sus it out when they cant accommodate or discreet etc, work away from home and need
"company" as long as they are safe & remember they have a partner at home, though not nice just be up front as some guys are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Single is single
Fab 'single' could mean anything 
Well the day they have 'Consensual Open Relationship' as a choice I'll happily select that option. "
People still wouldn't believe ya tho
After years of being in one myself, I know that first hand |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Or there are men on here who are not single, state so on their profile and who's partners are fully aware and have given their blessing.
 "
They say so on their profile though. My theory relates to profiles that say nothing about relationship status. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't think you should be so quick to generalise what it means when a person's relationship status is not noted in their profile...in my opinion.
Everyone has their own story whether you choose to believe or you choose to be the god that walks around labelling everyone a liar where you don't agree with them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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or maybe just use more common sense on how the person meets,has met etc etc
as a single guy..I dont think I have to say it on my profile..theres a part that also says attached or unattached I believe.. |
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"As long as men are honest about their relationship status I have no problems it's when they lie as I'm sure 100's of women on here lie about their relationship status.."
I've been lucky as the men I have spoken to have always been upfront about their relationship status...I get a lot say to me I must be in a relationship as I can't accommodate... |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Don't think you should be so quick to generalise what it means when a person's relationship status is not noted in their profile...in my opinion.
Everyone has their own story whether you choose to believe or you choose to be the god that walks around labelling everyone a liar where you don't agree with them.
"
If someone is claiming to be single and isn't, that's pretty clear cut as a lie and nothing to do with whether I, or anyone else, agrees with them.
Having a reason for being here doesn't change whether you are or are not single. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"or maybe just use more common sense on how the person meets,has met etc etc
as a single guy..I dont think I have to say it on my profile..theres a part that also says attached or unattached I believe.."
It doesn't affect how I meet. It's a theory based on observations and I'm curious about other opinions and experiences.
I'm not even making a judgement on the rights or wrongs of being here for people in relationships, though some seem to be reading that into it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or there are men on here who are not single, state so on their profile and who's partners are fully aware and have given their blessing.
They say so on their profile though. My theory relates to profiles that say nothing about relationship status."
You asked for thoughts and observations - my observation was that you missed an important option on profiles.
It is the same for ladies profiles too - many on here are playing with hubbys knowledge, some are not. Some say so, some dont.
I suppose one other option might be that when it comes to NSA sex and hookups, is someones relationship status (or the dynamic which plays out within that relationship) of anyone else's concern but the people involved in it? That potentially a moral judgement call on the 3rd party - to play or not to play with someone based on the information at hand coupled with your approach - that you treat people as 'mostly tell the truth or 'mostly lie to get what they want'.
In the end, perhaps it's less about what the other person presents as their circumstances and more about what you feel is the right choice for you on an per individual basis (if that makes sense) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally either sex can lie on here or off, you have to strong once they are caught out.
Take no prisoners with it, as a thousand other lies will follow, no fuck or friendship is worth that, any respect gained has gone.
Her |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Or there are men on here who are not single, state so on their profile and who's partners are fully aware and have given their blessing.
They say so on their profile though. My theory relates to profiles that say nothing about relationship status.
You asked for thoughts and observations - my observation was that you missed an important option on profiles.
It is the same for ladies profiles too - many on here are playing with hubbys knowledge, some are not. Some say so, some dont.
I suppose one other option might be that when it comes to NSA sex and hookups, is someones relationship status (or the dynamic which plays out within that relationship) of anyone else's concern but the people involved in it? That potentially a moral judgement call on the 3rd party - to play or not to play with someone based on the information at hand coupled with your approach - that you treat people as 'mostly tell the truth or 'mostly lie to get what they want'.
In the end, perhaps it's less about what the other person presents as their circumstances and more about what you feel is the right choice for you on an per individual basis (if that makes sense)"
Not missed, not included because anyone who admits they are playing away probably is, and anyone who says they are playing with permission is highly likely to be in a relationship, (whether or not they are telling the truth about having permission).
My question was if the profile says nothing about marital/relationship status, does it probably mean they are attached?
I don't use this theory to decide who to meet. It's a trend I have observed. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"So now I have to explain on my profile why I am single! Good grief what next, a copy of my passport or birth certificate, maybe a letter from my family vouching for me...  "
Who said anything about having to explain it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im single and its never cross my mind to include it on my single male profile. I would be happy to have another option which would state martial status but then you would still get married/attached guys lying so maybe we should all go through a jezza kyle lie detector test upon joining hich requires site supporter status to view the results  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or there are men on here who are not single, state so on their profile and who's partners are fully aware and have given their blessing.
They say so on their profile though. My theory relates to profiles that say nothing about relationship status.
You asked for thoughts and observations - my observation was that you missed an important option on profiles.
It is the same for ladies profiles too - many on here are playing with hubbys knowledge, some are not. Some say so, some dont.
I suppose one other option might be that when it comes to NSA sex and hookups, is someones relationship status (or the dynamic which plays out within that relationship) of anyone else's concern but the people involved in it? That potentially a moral judgement call on the 3rd party - to play or not to play with someone based on the information at hand coupled with your approach - that you treat people as 'mostly tell the truth or 'mostly lie to get what they want'.
In the end, perhaps it's less about what the other person presents as their circumstances and more about what you feel is the right choice for you on an per individual basis (if that makes sense)
Not missed, not included because anyone who admits they are playing away probably is, and anyone who says they are playing with permission is highly likely to be in a relationship, (whether or not they are telling the truth about having permission).
My question was if the profile says nothing about marital/relationship status, does it probably mean they are attached?
I don't use this theory to decide who to meet. It's a trend I have observed."
No it doesn't , in this day and age it's more like having children sometimes , having to house share or just not wanting to. The same as lots of single fems. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"So now I have to explain on my profile why I am single! Good grief what next, a copy of my passport or birth certificate, maybe a letter from my family vouching for me... "
Your profile supports my observation. You're single and your profile says so.
I never mentioned considering why anyone is single
The question, again...
If a profile does not mention relationship status, is it likely the profile own is attached and the partner doesn't know they are here?
That's it. No explanations. No judgements on whether cheating is right or wrong.
Simple question. My observations support that the answer is yes. Do people here agree or not. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Or there are men on here who are not single, state so on their profile and who's partners are fully aware and have given their blessing.
They say so on their profile though. My theory relates to profiles that say nothing about relationship status.
You asked for thoughts and observations - my observation was that you missed an important option on profiles.
It is the same for ladies profiles too - many on here are playing with hubbys knowledge, some are not. Some say so, some dont.
I suppose one other option might be that when it comes to NSA sex and hookups, is someones relationship status (or the dynamic which plays out within that relationship) of anyone else's concern but the people involved in it? That potentially a moral judgement call on the 3rd party - to play or not to play with someone based on the information at hand coupled with your approach - that you treat people as 'mostly tell the truth or 'mostly lie to get what they want'.
In the end, perhaps it's less about what the other person presents as their circumstances and more about what you feel is the right choice for you on an per individual basis (if that makes sense)
Not missed, not included because anyone who admits they are playing away probably is, and anyone who says they are playing with permission is highly likely to be in a relationship, (whether or not they are telling the truth about having permission).
My question was if the profile says nothing about marital/relationship status, does it probably mean they are attached?
I don't use this theory to decide who to meet. It's a trend I have observed.
No it doesn't , in this day and age it's more like having children sometimes , having to house share or just not wanting to. The same as lots of single fems. "
I'm not talking about ability to accommodate.
Having kids or house sharing wouldn't prevent someone from writing on their profile that they are single.
I think some might have misunderstood the question? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
My question was if the profile says nothing about marital/relationship status, does it probably mean they are attached?
I don't use this theory to decide who to meet. It's a trend I have observed."
I think the answer to that is very much based on our individual view and attitude to the people who use this site and our own moral compass.
If one persons view is that most people lie to get what they want, then you have the lie of omission. If your view is that most tell the truth the the omission is not necessarily a lie, but rather an omission - or a deliberate choice that their relationship status is no ones business but their own - sadly more often than not that leads back to the former idea, that people lie.
Its somewhat cyclical argument, that's rooted the suspicion and mistrust that runs like a 'river of poo' though the swinging scene. Too much 'face value' leads to disappointment, regret, guilt and anger; eventually driving us to suspicion and mistrust. Too much suspicion and mistrust gives everything a jaded, skewed view which ultimately leads to resentment and anger.
Its a balance and the best test to see if you have the balance right is if you can sleep easy at night; knowing that (for you and your moral compass) you're doing what you feel is right. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Simple question. My observations support that the answer is yes. Do people here agree or not."
Your observations or assumptions?
As a properly single male who has friends on this site all of whom are properly single my observations would support a no answer. Unless you asked every single male and they gave an honest answer we will never know. We could ask a proportion if single males for example the forum guys but thats just a small proportion of the population of fab so wouldnt be a true reflection. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or there are men on here who are not single, state so on their profile and who's partners are fully aware and have given their blessing.
They say so on their profile though. My theory relates to profiles that say nothing about relationship status.
You asked for thoughts and observations - my observation was that you missed an important option on profiles.
It is the same for ladies profiles too - many on here are playing with hubbys knowledge, some are not. Some say so, some dont.
I suppose one other option might be that when it comes to NSA sex and hookups, is someones relationship status (or the dynamic which plays out within that relationship) of anyone else's concern but the people involved in it? That potentially a moral judgement call on the 3rd party - to play or not to play with someone based on the information at hand coupled with your approach - that you treat people as 'mostly tell the truth or 'mostly lie to get what they want'.
In the end, perhaps it's less about what the other person presents as their circumstances and more about what you feel is the right choice for you on an per individual basis (if that makes sense)
Not missed, not included because anyone who admits they are playing away probably is, and anyone who says they are playing with permission is highly likely to be in a relationship, (whether or not they are telling the truth about having permission).
My question was if the profile says nothing about marital/relationship status, does it probably mean they are attached?
I don't use this theory to decide who to meet. It's a trend I have observed.
No it doesn't , in this day and age it's more like having children sometimes , having to house share or just not wanting to. The same as lots of single fems.
I'm not talking about ability to accommodate.
Having kids or house sharing wouldn't prevent someone from writing on their profile that they are single.
I think some might have misunderstood the question? "
See I think the fact they on a single profile kinda means they single unless they state otherwise. I see in your profile you don't mention being single , is there a reason for that ? |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Or there are men on here who are not single, state so on their profile and who's partners are fully aware and have given their blessing.
They say so on their profile though. My theory relates to profiles that say nothing about relationship status.
You asked for thoughts and observations - my observation was that you missed an important option on profiles.
It is the same for ladies profiles too - many on here are playing with hubbys knowledge, some are not. Some say so, some dont.
I suppose one other option might be that when it comes to NSA sex and hookups, is someones relationship status (or the dynamic which plays out within that relationship) of anyone else's concern but the people involved in it? That potentially a moral judgement call on the 3rd party - to play or not to play with someone based on the information at hand coupled with your approach - that you treat people as 'mostly tell the truth or 'mostly lie to get what they want'.
In the end, perhaps it's less about what the other person presents as their circumstances and more about what you feel is the right choice for you on an per individual basis (if that makes sense)
Not missed, not included because anyone who admits they are playing away probably is, and anyone who says they are playing with permission is highly likely to be in a relationship, (whether or not they are telling the truth about having permission).
My question was if the profile says nothing about marital/relationship status, does it probably mean they are attached?
I don't use this theory to decide who to meet. It's a trend I have observed.
No it doesn't , in this day and age it's more like having children sometimes , having to house share or just not wanting to. The same as lots of single fems.
I'm not talking about ability to accommodate.
Having kids or house sharing wouldn't prevent someone from writing on their profile that they are single.
I think some might have misunderstood the question?
See I think the fact they on a single profile kinda means they single unless they state otherwise. I see in your profile you don't mention being single , is there a reason for that ? "
My profile says I am single in the About Me section
To me a single profile just means they meet by themselves, it's no indication of relationship status. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
My question was if the profile says nothing about marital/relationship status, does it probably mean they are attached?
"
Your question looked a lot more like an assumption when you initially asked it.
Funny how these things change when questioned. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Simple question. My observations support that the answer is yes. Do people here agree or not.
Your observations or assumptions?
As a properly single male who has friends on this site all of whom are properly single my observations would support a no answer. Unless you asked every single male and they gave an honest answer we will never know. We could ask a proportion if single males for example the forum guys but thats just a small proportion of the population of fab so wouldnt be a true reflection."
Observations, which is why I said observations.
I ask everyone I am interested in meeting what their relationship status is. I've noticed the ones who say nothing on their profile are nearly always attached and the partner nearly always doesn't know.
Most have been honest about that when asked.
So, observation, not assumption. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"
My question was if the profile says nothing about marital/relationship status, does it probably mean they are attached?
Your question looked a lot more like an assumption when you initially asked it.
Funny how these things change when questioned. "
Or things are clarified.
To me a theory is based on observation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone fancy a shag with a single lady lol "
Are you bloody sure you are single though oh and by the way are you bi oh bugger I best go read some profiles |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Simple question. My observations support that the answer is yes. Do people here agree or not.
Your observations or assumptions?
As a properly single male who has friends on this site all of whom are properly single my observations would support a no answer. Unless you asked every single male and they gave an honest answer we will never know. We could ask a proportion if single males for example the forum guys but thats just a small proportion of the population of fab so wouldnt be a true reflection."
I'd have to ask everyone with nothing written on their profile about relationship status, not every single male.
I have, however, asked most of the guys who've contacted me that I'm interested in and some I'm not.
I'm going on that data set.
Yes, to get a complete picture I would have to poll the whole site.
Or I could ask other people for their observations to get a broader view. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Anyone fancy a shag with a single lady lol
Are you bloody sure you are single though oh and by the way are you bi oh bugger I best go read some profiles "
Ignore her, she's a man. Bloody fakes! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
My question was if the profile says nothing about marital/relationship status, does it probably mean they are attached?
Your question looked a lot more like an assumption when you initially asked it.
Funny how these things change when questioned.
Or things are clarified.
To me a theory is based on observation."
Should of done a bit more of that observing malarky before being so presumptuous and judgemental.
Look's like another 'let's bash the single guys thread to me'. |
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"Anyone fancy a shag with a single lady lol
Are you bloody sure you are single though oh and by the way are you bi oh bugger I best go read some profiles "
I am guv honestly no men in the wardrobe I do have a housemate who is like a husband without the sex... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So now I have to explain on my profile why I am single! Good grief what next, a copy of my passport or birth certificate, maybe a letter from my family vouching for me...
Your profile supports my observation. You're single and your profile says so.
I never mentioned considering why anyone is single
The question, again...
If a profile does not mention relationship status, is it likely the profile own is attached and the partner doesn't know they are here?
That's it. No explanations. No judgements on whether cheating is right or wrong.
Simple question. My observations support that the answer is yes. Do people here agree or not."
Disagree, based on my observations you are wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So now I have to explain on my profile why I am single! Good grief what next, a copy of my passport or birth certificate, maybe a letter from my family vouching for me...
Your profile supports my observation. You're single and your profile says so.
I never mentioned considering why anyone is single
The question, again...
If a profile does not mention relationship status, is it likely the profile own is attached and the partner doesn't know they are here?
That's it. No explanations. No judgements on whether cheating is right or wrong.
Simple question. My observations support that the answer is yes. Do people here agree or not."
To answer your question, I have found that the majority don't mention they are single on their profile and they are indeed single.
I think the ones that do state they are single are more likely not to be. It doesn't even occur to the true singles that they might have to prove/ mention it. |
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"So now I have to explain on my profile why I am single! Good grief what next, a copy of my passport or birth certificate, maybe a letter from my family vouching for me...
Your profile supports my observation. You're single and your profile says so.
I never mentioned considering why anyone is single
The question, again...
If a profile does not mention relationship status, is it likely the profile own is attached and the partner doesn't know they are here?
That's it. No explanations. No judgements on whether cheating is right or wrong.
Simple question. My observations support that the answer is yes. Do people here agree or not."
So because a single guy says nothing about his status on his profile he is automatically lieing! You can wriggle all you like but that is the implication of what you are saying. I do not mention anything about the place I live so I must be lieing about my location, I don't mention my sexuality in the text so I must be lieing about that, I don't mention my age in the text so I must be lieing about that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Simple question. My observations support that the answer is yes. Do people here agree or not.
Your observations or assumptions?
As a properly single male who has friends on this site all of whom are properly single my observations would support a no answer. Unless you asked every single male and they gave an honest answer we will never know. We could ask a proportion if single males for example the forum guys but thats just a small proportion of the population of fab so wouldnt be a true reflection.
Observations, which is why I said observations.
I ask everyone I am interested in meeting what their relationship status is. I've noticed the ones who say nothing on their profile are nearly always attached and the partner nearly always doesn't know.
Most have been honest about that when asked.
So, observation, not assumption."
Based on that then i take my "assumption" statement back, but as i say it is still too small of a group of the population much to make a sweeping statement |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
My question was if the profile says nothing about marital/relationship status, does it probably mean they are attached?
Your question looked a lot more like an assumption when you initially asked it.
Funny how these things change when questioned.
Or things are clarified.
To me a theory is based on observation.
Should of done a bit more of that observing malarky before being so presumptuous and judgemental.
Look's like another 'let's bash the single guys thread to me'."
 |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"So now I have to explain on my profile why I am single! Good grief what next, a copy of my passport or birth certificate, maybe a letter from my family vouching for me...
Your profile supports my observation. You're single and your profile says so.
I never mentioned considering why anyone is single
The question, again...
If a profile does not mention relationship status, is it likely the profile own is attached and the partner doesn't know they are here?
That's it. No explanations. No judgements on whether cheating is right or wrong.
Simple question. My observations support that the answer is yes. Do people here agree or not.
Disagree, based on my observations you are wrong "
Thank you.
That's fine. I asked for the perspective of others. Thanks for giving it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
My question was if the profile says nothing about marital/relationship status, does it probably mean they are attached?
Your question looked a lot more like an assumption when you initially asked it.
Funny how these things change when questioned.
Or things are clarified.
To me a theory is based on observation.
Should of done a bit more of that observing malarky before being so presumptuous and judgemental.
Look's like another 'let's bash the single guys thread to me'."
It sounded like a simple question to me. No bashing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So now I have to explain on my profile why I am single! Good grief what next, a copy of my passport or birth certificate, maybe a letter from my family vouching for me...
Your profile supports my observation. You're single and your profile says so.
I never mentioned considering why anyone is single
The question, again...
If a profile does not mention relationship status, is it likely the profile own is attached and the partner doesn't know they are here?
That's it. No explanations. No judgements on whether cheating is right or wrong.
Simple question. My observations support that the answer is yes. Do people here agree or not.
So because a single guy says nothing about his status on his profile he is automatically lieing! You can wriggle all you like but that is the implication of what you are saying. I do not mention anything about the place I live so I must be lieing about my location, I don't mention my sexuality in the text so I must be lieing about that, I don't mention my age in the text so I must be lieing about that. "
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I saw it as a negative subject having read the OP twice. Probably wrongly but what jumped to mind was 'Ahh a single guy has fucked her off then'.
If it says your single, then your single arn't you? |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"
My question was if the profile says nothing about marital/relationship status, does it probably mean they are attached?
Your question looked a lot more like an assumption when you initially asked it.
Funny how these things change when questioned.
Or things are clarified.
To me a theory is based on observation.
Should of done a bit more of that observing malarky before being so presumptuous and judgemental.
Look's like another 'let's bash the single guys thread to me'."
I'm sorry it seems that way. It's not.
In my experience of the single men who have contacted me, they say they are single on their profile.
Where have I condemned anyone for anything here?
It's a genuine, straight question with nothing else implied.
I have observed this. Is the experience of others the same?
I've not said it's bad not to put your relationship status on your profile (because if I care I ask). I've not said cheating is bad. I've not made any sort of judgement of anyone.
A lot of people seem to be taking this as an attack of some sort, or considering it a loaded question. It isn't. I only want to know if other people experiences are the same or not.
I don't even have anything invested in the answer. Every single person on the site could say their observation is different and I'll thank them for their comment.
No attack, on anyone, is intended here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No, it's not a single guys bashing thread - I'd have been all up in it if it was
The OP clearly mentions that she is basing it on guys because thats where her data set is based and does ask for a correlation with single female profiles.
-
I think its a very interesting observation based on the theory that if one omits a piece of information, is it just that - an omission - or is it a 'lie of omission'.
Fundamentally, how do any of us trust what a stranger is telling us? Through our own internal level of 'face value trust' and how much we believe that 'people are essentially good' and that we hold them to the same moral and ethical standards as we would ourselves. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I saw it as a negative subject having read the OP twice. Probably wrongly but what jumped to mind was 'Ahh a single guy has fucked her off then'.
If it says your single, then your single arn't you?"
A lot have misunderstood the post it seems, so clearly it's badly written.
The question isn't about people who say they are single. It's about people who say nothing.
Several single men who don't say they are single on their profile have commented, so my theory is being disproven.
It's not negative. It's a question. Do your experiences match mine or not?
No judgement of anyone. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Seems to me the people with nothing to hide don't feel the need to start defending this & that and getting all uppity about simple questions.
;-)
I simply do not like to be accused of lieing! "
Where did I accuse you of anything?
The question doesn't even relate to you because you say you are single on your profile.
My question relates to people who do not say anything about their relationship status. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Seems to me the people with nothing to hide don't feel the need to start defending this & that and getting all uppity about simple questions.
;-)
I simply do not like to be accused of lieing! "
I must be reading a different thread. Haven't seen any such accusations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No, it's not a single guys bashing thread - I'd have been all up in it if it was
The OP clearly mentions that she is basing it on guys because thats where her data set is based and does ask for a correlation with single female profiles.
-
I think its a very interesting observation based on the theory that if one omits a piece of information, is it just that - an omission - or is it a 'lie of omission'.
Fundamentally, how do any of us trust what a stranger is telling us? Through our own internal level of 'face value trust' and how much we believe that 'people are essentially good' and that we hold them to the same moral and ethical standards as we would ourselves. "
I love that.
When I have a profile it is deliberately worded to say nothing about me. People can make their own assumptions about that.  |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"No, it's not a single guys bashing thread - I'd have been all up in it if it was
The OP clearly mentions that she is basing it on guys because thats where her data set is based and does ask for a correlation with single female profiles.
-
I think its a very interesting observation based on the theory that if one omits a piece of information, is it just that - an omission - or is it a 'lie of omission'.
Fundamentally, how do any of us trust what a stranger is telling us? Through our own internal level of 'face value trust' and how much we believe that 'people are essentially good' and that we hold them to the same moral and ethical standards as we would ourselves. "
I wouldn't call it a lie of omission. It's more that as far as I've noticed, many men say nothing and hope not to be asked. They're usually upfront when asked directly. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"The implication in the op is clear. "
Apparently not because you and many others have the wrong end of the stick completely.
Please point out where I've called you a liar. And please explain why, when my OP is clear that this is about men who do not have their relationship status in their profile, it applies to you.
You've misunderstood entirely and are responding to what you think the post says, not what it says. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have a theory I'd like opinions on please.
Single men (usually) say on their profiles that they are single. If the profile does not comment on their relationship status... "
Relationship status is a fairly fluid term for single people, so it is probably the least reliable. but until proven the age, gender, relationship status, and ever other tick box on here is an open question. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So now I have to explain on my profile why I am single! Good grief what next, a copy of my passport or birth certificate, maybe a letter from my family vouching for me...
Your profile supports my observation. You're single and your profile says so.
I never mentioned considering why anyone is single
The question, again...
If a profile does not mention relationship status, is it likely the profile own is attached and the partner doesn't know they are here?
That's it. No explanations. No judgements on whether cheating is right or wrong.
Simple question. My observations support that the answer is yes. Do people here agree or not.
Disagree, based on my observations you are wrong
Thank you.
That's fine. I asked for the perspective of others. Thanks for giving it."
No worries, maybe your trying to hard to find things in people's profiles to 'catch them out' so to speak |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I wouldn't call it a lie of omission. It's more that as far as I've noticed, many men say nothing and hope not to be asked. They're usually upfront when asked directly."
But surely not everything about your life is on a profile....anything that is relevant could be discussed when chatting to see if you want to meet that person.
I have to be honest I am the most cynical person ever to be....but even I wouldn't assume every " single " person is attached. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"
My question was if the profile says nothing about marital/relationship status, does it probably mean they are attached?
Your question looked a lot more like an assumption when you initially asked it.
Funny how these things change when questioned.
Or things are clarified.
To me a theory is based on observation.
Should of done a bit more of that observing malarky before being so presumptuous and judgemental.
Look's like another 'let's bash the single guys thread to me'.
It sounded like a simple question to me. No bashing."
That was the intention.
Surely anyone who knows me would know if I had something else to say, or meant something else, I'd say it straight.
Subtlety ain't my strong suit |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"So now I have to explain on my profile why I am single! Good grief what next, a copy of my passport or birth certificate, maybe a letter from my family vouching for me...
Your profile supports my observation. You're single and your profile says so.
I never mentioned considering why anyone is single
The question, again...
If a profile does not mention relationship status, is it likely the profile own is attached and the partner doesn't know they are here?
That's it. No explanations. No judgements on whether cheating is right or wrong.
Simple question. My observations support that the answer is yes. Do people here agree or not.
Disagree, based on my observations you are wrong
Thank you.
That's fine. I asked for the perspective of others. Thanks for giving it.
No worries, maybe your trying to hard to find things in people's profiles to 'catch them out' so to speak "
No need. I ask what I need to know. Most are upfront. |
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"Anyone fancy a shag with a single lady lol
I need to see first 3 written statement from friends stating that you are definitely single "
Bloody Nora it's easier to get into the MI5 than get a shag on here at times...do you need the statements signed?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The implication in the op is clear.
Apparently not because you and many others have the wrong end of the stick completely.
Please point out where I've called you a liar. And please explain why, when my OP is clear that this is about men who do not have their relationship status in their profile, it applies to you.
You've misunderstood entirely and are responding to what you think the post says, not what it says."
Are you suggesting, using your own observations , that people with single ticked on their basic profile but have not written it in their profile text, are liars?? Or have I missed something |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"The implication in the op is clear.
Apparently not because you and many others have the wrong end of the stick completely.
Please point out where I've called you a liar. And please explain why, when my OP is clear that this is about men who do not have their relationship status in their profile, it applies to you.
You've misunderstood entirely and are responding to what you think the post says, not what it says."
To be fair this sentance from your first post does suggest all single mens profiles are lying.
"single men (usually) say on their profiles that they are single. If the profile does not comment on their relationship status, they are very likely married or in a relationship, and their other half doesn't know they are here." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone fancy a shag with a single lady lol
I need to see first 3 written statement from friends stating that you are definitely single
Bloody Nora it's easier to get into the MI5 than get a shag on here at times...do you need the statements signed?? "
I would want the friends verified by M15 before any statements from them after all they could be single as well |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I wouldn't call it a lie of omission. It's more that as far as I've noticed, many men say nothing and hope not to be asked. They're usually upfront when asked directly.
But surely not everything about your life is on a profile....anything that is relevant could be discussed when chatting to see if you want to meet that person.
I have to be honest I am the most cynical person ever to be....but even I wouldn't assume every " single " person is attached."
Absolutely and I wouldn't suggest everyone (or anyone) should put their relationship status on their profile.
My question relates only to what I have noticed about those who don't.
An observation, not a judgement or a comment about what anyone should or should not do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wouldn't call it a lie of omission. It's more that as far as I've noticed, many men say nothing and hope not to be asked. They're usually upfront when asked directly.
But surely not everything about your life is on a profile....anything that is relevant could be discussed when chatting to see if you want to meet that person.
I have to be honest I am the most cynical person ever to be....but even I wouldn't assume every " single " person is attached.
Absolutely and I wouldn't suggest everyone (or anyone) should put their relationship status on their profile.
My question relates only to what I have noticed about those who don't.
An observation, not a judgement or a comment about what anyone should or should not do."
Why should we put out status twice on our profile? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wouldn't call it a lie of omission. It's more that as far as I've noticed, many men say nothing and hope not to be asked. They're usually upfront when asked directly.
But surely not everything about your life is on a profile....anything that is relevant could be discussed when chatting to see if you want to meet that person.
I have to be honest I am the most cynical person ever to be....but even I wouldn't assume every " single " person is attached.
Absolutely and I wouldn't suggest everyone (or anyone) should put their relationship status on their profile.
My question relates only to what I have noticed about those who don't.
An observation, not a judgement or a comment about what anyone should or should not do.
Why should we put out status twice on our profile? "
To prove you really really really really are single , der |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wouldn't call it a lie of omission. It's more that as far as I've noticed, many men say nothing and hope not to be asked. They're usually upfront when asked directly.
But surely not everything about your life is on a profile....anything that is relevant could be discussed when chatting to see if you want to meet that person.
I have to be honest I am the most cynical person ever to be....but even I wouldn't assume every " single " person is attached.
Absolutely and I wouldn't suggest everyone (or anyone) should put their relationship status on their profile.
My question relates only to what I have noticed about those who don't.
An observation, not a judgement or a comment about what anyone should or should not do.
Why should we put out status twice on our profile?
To prove you really really really really are single , der "
Of course, silly me, I suggest you put it at the end of every sentence, just to make sure |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"The implication in the op is clear.
Apparently not because you and many others have the wrong end of the stick completely.
Please point out where I've called you a liar. And please explain why, when my OP is clear that this is about men who do not have their relationship status in their profile, it applies to you.
You've misunderstood entirely and are responding to what you think the post says, not what it says.
Are you suggesting, using your own observations , that people with single ticked on their basic profile but have not written it in their profile text, are liars?? Or have I missed something "
No, not at all.
A single profile, to me, means they meet alone. It's no indication of relationship status.
My observation is that men who are single usually say so on their profile. If they don't say so on their profile but are single, I can't be calling them a liar because they didn't write anything so how can that be a lie?
However, again in my experience, men who do not put their relationship status in their profile are usually attached (and are hoping by not saying so will not put off women who don't meet attached men). I'm not saying they are liars because, again, they've said nothing, which can't be a lie. I'm not saying they are the spawn of Satan.
I'm saying I've noticed it and asking if others have too.
Apparently not, which is perfectly fine.
I was looking for the experiences of others, not for people to agree with me. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I wouldn't call it a lie of omission. It's more that as far as I've noticed, many men say nothing and hope not to be asked. They're usually upfront when asked directly.
But surely not everything about your life is on a profile....anything that is relevant could be discussed when chatting to see if you want to meet that person.
I have to be honest I am the most cynical person ever to be....but even I wouldn't assume every " single " person is attached.
Absolutely and I wouldn't suggest everyone (or anyone) should put their relationship status on their profile.
My question relates only to what I have noticed about those who don't.
An observation, not a judgement or a comment about what anyone should or should not do.
Why should we put out status twice on our profile? "
Having a single profile means you meet alone, not that you are unattached. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The implication in the op is clear.
Apparently not because you and many others have the wrong end of the stick completely.
Please point out where I've called you a liar. And please explain why, when my OP is clear that this is about men who do not have their relationship status in their profile, it applies to you.
You've misunderstood entirely and are responding to what you think the post says, not what it says.
Are you suggesting, using your own observations , that people with single ticked on their basic profile but have not written it in their profile text, are liars?? Or have I missed something
No, not at all.
A single profile, to me, means they meet alone. It's no indication of relationship status.
My observation is that men who are single usually say so on their profile. If they don't say so on their profile but are single, I can't be calling them a liar because they didn't write anything so how can that be a lie?
However, again in my experience, men who do not put their relationship status in their profile are usually attached (and are hoping by not saying so will not put off women who don't meet attached men). I'm not saying they are liars because, again, they've said nothing, which can't be a lie. I'm not saying they are the spawn of Satan.
I'm saying I've noticed it and asking if others have too.
Apparently not, which is perfectly fine.
I was looking for the experiences of others, not for people to agree with me."
Your not making sense,does this observation include someone who has ticked single on their profile but has not written single in their text?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Having a single profile means you meet alone, not that you are unattached."
Or in my case having a single profile means we meet as a couple, but I post alone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wouldn't call it a lie of omission. It's more that as far as I've noticed, many men say nothing and hope not to be asked. They're usually upfront when asked directly.
But surely not everything about your life is on a profile....anything that is relevant could be discussed when chatting to see if you want to meet that person.
I have to be honest I am the most cynical person ever to be....but even I wouldn't assume every " single " person is attached.
Absolutely and I wouldn't suggest everyone (or anyone) should put their relationship status on their profile.
My question relates only to what I have noticed about those who don't.
An observation, not a judgement or a comment about what anyone should or should not do.
Why should we put out status twice on our profile?
Having a single profile means you meet alone, not that you are unattached."
Does it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wouldn't call it a lie of omission. It's more that as far as I've noticed, many men say nothing and hope not to be asked. They're usually upfront when asked directly.
But surely not everything about your life is on a profile....anything that is relevant could be discussed when chatting to see if you want to meet that person.
I have to be honest I am the most cynical person ever to be....but even I wouldn't assume every " single " person is attached.
Absolutely and I wouldn't suggest everyone (or anyone) should put their relationship status on their profile.
My question relates only to what I have noticed about those who don't.
An observation, not a judgement or a comment about what anyone should or should not do.
Why should we put out status twice on our profile?
Having a single profile means you meet alone, not that you are unattached."
I don't get that at all , I've been here years and always assumed that a single profile meant the person was single it never even entered my head to think it just meant I was playing alone. Perhaps we need another couple of categories then for those that are really really single and those that are just single. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone fancy a shag with a single lady lol
I need to see first 3 written statement from friends stating that you are definitely single
Bloody Nora it's easier to get into the MI5 than get a shag on here at times...do you need the statements signed?? "
Yes please.. But don't forget to get them sign in front of a solicitor . after reading this thread I don't trust "singles" anymore |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone fancy a shag with a single lady lol
I need to see first 3 written statement from friends stating that you are definitely single
Bloody Nora it's easier to get into the MI5 than get a shag on here at times...do you need the statements signed??
I would want the friends verified by M15 before any statements from them after all they could be single as well "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps we need another couple of categories then for those that are really really single and those that are just single. "
Definately Single
Single-ish
Mostly Single
Single for the night
Single whilst OH at Sainsburys
De-Coupled
Couplish
Married but can be borrowed
Morally Ambiguous
|
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"The implication in the op is clear.
Apparently not because you and many others have the wrong end of the stick completely.
Please point out where I've called you a liar. And please explain why, when my OP is clear that this is about men who do not have their relationship status in their profile, it applies to you.
You've misunderstood entirely and are responding to what you think the post says, not what it says.
To be fair this sentance from your first post does suggest all single mens profiles are lying.
"single men (usually) say on their profiles that they are single. If the profile does not comment on their relationship status, they are very likely married or in a relationship, and their other half doesn't know they are here.""
It wasn't intended that way and I can't see it but obviously lots of people have misunderstood so I can't have been clear.
To rephrase...
In my experience, unattached men write that they are single in their profile.
Some men write that they are attached but playing with permission. Some men write that they are attached and playing without the knowledge of their partner.
(In my experience) the men who write nothing about their relationship status are usually attached and here without the knowledge of their partner.
Have other people noticed/experienced/observed/found the same.
The single part was meant to mean simply that unattached men (IME) usually write they are single in their profile. |
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By *ixmaMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"As long as men are honest about their relationship status I have no problems it's when they lie as I'm sure 100's of women on here lie about their relationship status..
I've been lucky as the men I have spoken to have always been upfront about their relationship status...I get a lot say to me I must be in a relationship as I can't accommodate..."
I get that's lot also, so can't accommodate hence I must be attached! Er no there is a very good reason I can't accommodate, everyone's circumstances are different |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone fancy a shag with a single lady lol
I need to see first 3 written statement from friends stating that you are definitely single
Bloody Nora it's easier to get into the MI5 than get a shag on here at times...do you need the statements signed??
Yes please.. But don't forget to get them sign in front of a solicitor . after reading this thread I don't trust "singles" anymore "
This is a serious subject, I am beginning to doubt myself now, if your a man and don't put your a man on your profile , are you really a man? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone fancy a shag with a single lady lol
I need to see first 3 written statement from friends stating that you are definitely single
Bloody Nora it's easier to get into the MI5 than get a shag on here at times...do you need the statements signed??
Yes please.. But don't forget to get them sign in front of a solicitor . after reading this thread I don't trust "singles" anymore "
Surely as shes asking for a shag she's already a 'solicitor'? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps we need another couple of categories then for those that are really really single and those that are just single.
Definately Single
Single-ish
Mostly Single
Single for the night
Single whilst OH at Sainsburys
De-Coupled
Couplish
Married but can be borrowed
Morally Ambiguous
"
Ffs man I said a couple more |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
My observation is that men who are single usually say so on their profile. If they don't say so on their profile but are single, I can't be calling them a liar because they didn't write anything so how can that be a lie?
However, again in my experience, men who do not put their relationship status in their profile are usually attached (and are hoping by not saying so will not put off women who don't meet attached men). I'm not saying they are liars because, again, they've said nothing, which can't be a lie. I'm not saying they are the spawn of Satan.
I'm saying I've noticed it and asking if others have too.
Apparently not, which is perfectly fine.
I was looking for the experiences of others, not for people to agree with me."
Ok...so what you had found is.... if a single profile says "single in their profile text then they are normally single....if they say nothing about being single they are normally attached?
Ok I have no answer for you from our experience as I have never studied it in detail.
|
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I wouldn't call it a lie of omission. It's more that as far as I've noticed, many men say nothing and hope not to be asked. They're usually upfront when asked directly.
But surely not everything about your life is on a profile....anything that is relevant could be discussed when chatting to see if you want to meet that person.
I have to be honest I am the most cynical person ever to be....but even I wouldn't assume every " single " person is attached.
Absolutely and I wouldn't suggest everyone (or anyone) should put their relationship status on their profile.
My question relates only to what I have noticed about those who don't.
An observation, not a judgement or a comment about what anyone should or should not do.
Why should we put out status twice on our profile?
Having a single profile means you meet alone, not that you are unattached.
I don't get that at all , I've been here years and always assumed that a single profile meant the person was single it never even entered my head to think it just meant I was playing alone. Perhaps we need another couple of categories then for those that are really really single and those that are just single. "
You've never encountered a married man, here without his wife's knowledge, on a single profile?
He can't, obviously, have a couples profile because he meets alone and isn't here as a couple but he's not unattached.
(Again, no judgements intended) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone fancy a shag with a single lady lol
I need to see first 3 written statement from friends stating that you are definitely single
Bloody Nora it's easier to get into the MI5 than get a shag on here at times...do you need the statements signed??
Yes please.. But don't forget to get them sign in front of a solicitor . after reading this thread I don't trust "singles" anymore
This is a serious subject, I am beginning to doubt myself now, if your a man and don't put your a man on your profile , are you really a man? "
Nope you is a woman same as I is a man , simples |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps we need another couple of categories then for those that are really really single and those that are just single.
Definately Single
Single-ish
Mostly Single
Single for the night
Single whilst OH at Sainsburys
De-Coupled
Couplish
Married but can be borrowed
Morally Ambiguous
Ffs man I said a couple more "
Oh I can go for ages, me  |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"
My observation is that men who are single usually say so on their profile. If they don't say so on their profile but are single, I can't be calling them a liar because they didn't write anything so how can that be a lie?
However, again in my experience, men who do not put their relationship status in their profile are usually attached (and are hoping by not saying so will not put off women who don't meet attached men). I'm not saying they are liars because, again, they've said nothing, which can't be a lie. I'm not saying they are the spawn of Satan.
I'm saying I've noticed it and asking if others have too.
Apparently not, which is perfectly fine.
I was looking for the experiences of others, not for people to agree with me.
Ok...so what you had found is.... if a single profile says "single in their profile text then they are normally single....if they say nothing about being single they are normally attached?
Ok I have no answer for you from our experience as I have never studied it in detail.
"
Yes, basically.
However, a few single men who don't say they are single in their profile have posted here so clearly some unattached men do not write they are single (which is fine, just in case anyone thinks I am saying they should) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wouldn't call it a lie of omission. It's more that as far as I've noticed, many men say nothing and hope not to be asked. They're usually upfront when asked directly.
But surely not everything about your life is on a profile....anything that is relevant could be discussed when chatting to see if you want to meet that person.
I have to be honest I am the most cynical person ever to be....but even I wouldn't assume every " single " person is attached.
Absolutely and I wouldn't suggest everyone (or anyone) should put their relationship status on their profile.
My question relates only to what I have noticed about those who don't.
An observation, not a judgement or a comment about what anyone should or should not do.
Why should we put out status twice on our profile?
Having a single profile means you meet alone, not that you are unattached.
I don't get that at all , I've been here years and always assumed that a single profile meant the person was single it never even entered my head to think it just meant I was playing alone. Perhaps we need another couple of categories then for those that are really really single and those that are just single.
You've never encountered a married man, here without his wife's knowledge, on a single profile?
He can't, obviously, have a couples profile because he meets alone and isn't here as a couple but he's not unattached.
(Again, no judgements intended)"
Ok in my opinion you are now trying to justify what you are saying by changing things to suit you. Whilst I agree about the single on a single profile who isn't single I would suggest that more people than not take single to mean single and do not take it to mean single as in not single. I'm singularly out of here now as it's getting a bit to much for this mere singleton. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Anyone fancy a shag with a single lady lol
I need to see first 3 written statement from friends stating that you are definitely single
Bloody Nora it's easier to get into the MI5 than get a shag on here at times...do you need the statements signed??
Yes please.. But don't forget to get them sign in front of a solicitor . after reading this thread I don't trust "singles" anymore
This is a serious subject, I am beginning to doubt myself now, if your a man and don't put your a man on your profile , are you really a man? "
Profiles already say male or female (or couple or TV/TS)
Single can mean single or just 'meets alone'. There's not another way to interpret "male" and "female" (or couple. I won't comment on TS/TV because all the things that can mean is an entirely different thread).
Except for the women who are actually men, (like Cheeky ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone fancy a shag with a single lady lol
I need to see first 3 written statement from friends stating that you are definitely single
Bloody Nora it's easier to get into the MI5 than get a shag on here at times...do you need the statements signed??
Yes please.. But don't forget to get them sign in front of a solicitor . after reading this thread I don't trust "singles" anymore
This is a serious subject, I am beginning to doubt myself now, if your a man and don't put your a man on your profile , are you really a man?
Profiles already say male or female (or couple or TV/TS)
Single can mean single or just 'meets alone'. There's not another way to interpret "male" and "female" (or couple. I won't comment on TS/TV because all the things that can mean is an entirely different thread).
Except for the women who are actually men, (like Cheeky )"
I and many others on here disagree, I think you need to question you 'observations' they are flawed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How over complicated! I'm single, so I checked the single box.....its that easy.
You would think so but I still get asked if I'm married "
You need to write a better profile then |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I wouldn't call it a lie of omission. It's more that as far as I've noticed, many men say nothing and hope not to be asked. They're usually upfront when asked directly.
But surely not everything about your life is on a profile....anything that is relevant could be discussed when chatting to see if you want to meet that person.
I have to be honest I am the most cynical person ever to be....but even I wouldn't assume every " single " person is attached.
Absolutely and I wouldn't suggest everyone (or anyone) should put their relationship status on their profile.
My question relates only to what I have noticed about those who don't.
An observation, not a judgement or a comment about what anyone should or should not do.
Why should we put out status twice on our profile?
Having a single profile means you meet alone, not that you are unattached.
I don't get that at all , I've been here years and always assumed that a single profile meant the person was single it never even entered my head to think it just meant I was playing alone. Perhaps we need another couple of categories then for those that are really really single and those that are just single.
You've never encountered a married man, here without his wife's knowledge, on a single profile?
He can't, obviously, have a couples profile because he meets alone and isn't here as a couple but he's not unattached.
(Again, no judgements intended)
Ok in my opinion you are now trying to justify what you are saying by changing things to suit you. Whilst I agree about the single on a single profile who isn't single I would suggest that more people than not take single to mean single and do not take it to mean single as in not single. I'm singularly out of here now as it's getting a bit to much for this mere singleton. "
I'm trying to explain what I mean. I don't feel the need to justify it because I've asked a question not made any judgements.
Loads of men (and women) are on here "cheating". Some would suggest (and sometimes do) that there are more "cheaters" than anything else.
I frequently get messages from men with single profiles who, when asked, say they have a wife or girlfriend so clearly, having a single profile doesn't necessarily mean unattached.
How can it when so many on here have a single profile and a couples profile?
If it did, I wouldn't have asked my question because having a single profile would be the same as writing single on one's profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wouldn't call it a lie of omission. It's more that as far as I've noticed, many men say nothing and hope not to be asked. They're usually upfront when asked directly.
But surely not everything about your life is on a profile....anything that is relevant could be discussed when chatting to see if you want to meet that person.
I have to be honest I am the most cynical person ever to be....but even I wouldn't assume every " single " person is attached.
Absolutely and I wouldn't suggest everyone (or anyone) should put their relationship status on their profile.
My question relates only to what I have noticed about those who don't.
An observation, not a judgement or a comment about what anyone should or should not do.
Why should we put out status twice on our profile?
Having a single profile means you meet alone, not that you are unattached.
I don't get that at all , I've been here years and always assumed that a single profile meant the person was single it never even entered my head to think it just meant I was playing alone. Perhaps we need another couple of categories then for those that are really really single and those that are just single.
You've never encountered a married man, here without his wife's knowledge, on a single profile?
He can't, obviously, have a couples profile because he meets alone and isn't here as a couple but he's not unattached.
(Again, no judgements intended)
Ok in my opinion you are now trying to justify what you are saying by changing things to suit you. Whilst I agree about the single on a single profile who isn't single I would suggest that more people than not take single to mean single and do not take it to mean single as in not single. I'm singularly out of here now as it's getting a bit to much for this mere singleton.
I'm trying to explain what I mean. I don't feel the need to justify it because I've asked a question not made any judgements.
Loads of men (and women) are on here "cheating". Some would suggest (and sometimes do) that there are more "cheaters" than anything else.
I frequently get messages from men with single profiles who, when asked, say they have a wife or girlfriend so clearly, having a single profile doesn't necessarily mean unattached.
How can it when so many on here have a single profile and a couples profile?
If it did, I wouldn't have asked my question because having a single profile would be the same as writing single on one's profile."
That's not what you originally said, you suggested that men who didn't have single written on their profile were 'likely' to be attached etc, inferring they are liars, |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Anyone fancy a shag with a single lady lol
I need to see first 3 written statement from friends stating that you are definitely single
Bloody Nora it's easier to get into the MI5 than get a shag on here at times...do you need the statements signed??
Yes please.. But don't forget to get them sign in front of a solicitor . after reading this thread I don't trust "singles" anymore
This is a serious subject, I am beginning to doubt myself now, if your a man and don't put your a man on your profile , are you really a man?
Profiles already say male or female (or couple or TV/TS)
Single can mean single or just 'meets alone'. There's not another way to interpret "male" and "female" (or couple. I won't comment on TS/TV because all the things that can mean is an entirely different thread).
Except for the women who are actually men, (like Cheeky )
I and many others on here disagree, I think you need to question you 'observations' they are flawed "
How can what I have seen be flawed?
The theory I came up with is what is flawed, probably because it is not based on enough data.
You disagree that a male profile probably means male (since male can't really be interpreted any other way)?
Or are you disagreeing that having a single profile does not necessarily mean unattached?
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Your OP was a clear judgement on those who don't write anything about their status when being single...you called them all liars?!
As noted above, you can attempt to wriggle your way out of it as much as you like but you can't tell us you wasn't being judgemental when you quite clearly have been, your initial comment was a statement not a question.
The old adage 'think before you speak' comes to mind, the fact you had the benefit of reading the draft before posting it is disappointing. Now your trying to twist it all is embarrassing considering how articulate you appear to be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It clearly states on my profile I'm a single male. Though I can understand why some single males and females choose to cheat and be conniving. Honestly? If I was to enter a relationship, I'd update my profile to say so.
But of course, that would be too sensible now, wouldn't it?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Your OP was a clear judgement on those who don't write anything about their status when being single...you called them all liars?!
As noted above, you can attempt to wriggle your way out of it as much as you like but you can't tell us you wasn't being judgemental when you quite clearly have been, your initial comment was a statement not a question.
The old adage 'think before you speak' comes to mind, the fact you had the benefit of reading the draft before posting it is disappointing. Now your trying to twist it all is embarrassing considering how articulate you appear to be. "
|
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I wouldn't call it a lie of omission. It's more that as far as I've noticed, many men say nothing and hope not to be asked. They're usually upfront when asked directly.
But surely not everything about your life is on a profile....anything that is relevant could be discussed when chatting to see if you want to meet that person.
I have to be honest I am the most cynical person ever to be....but even I wouldn't assume every " single " person is attached.
Absolutely and I wouldn't suggest everyone (or anyone) should put their relationship status on their profile.
My question relates only to what I have noticed about those who don't.
An observation, not a judgement or a comment about what anyone should or should not do.
Why should we put out status twice on our profile?
Having a single profile means you meet alone, not that you are unattached.
I don't get that at all , I've been here years and always assumed that a single profile meant the person was single it never even entered my head to think it just meant I was playing alone. Perhaps we need another couple of categories then for those that are really really single and those that are just single.
You've never encountered a married man, here without his wife's knowledge, on a single profile?
He can't, obviously, have a couples profile because he meets alone and isn't here as a couple but he's not unattached.
(Again, no judgements intended)
Ok in my opinion you are now trying to justify what you are saying by changing things to suit you. Whilst I agree about the single on a single profile who isn't single I would suggest that more people than not take single to mean single and do not take it to mean single as in not single. I'm singularly out of here now as it's getting a bit to much for this mere singleton.
I'm trying to explain what I mean. I don't feel the need to justify it because I've asked a question not made any judgements.
Loads of men (and women) are on here "cheating". Some would suggest (and sometimes do) that there are more "cheaters" than anything else.
I frequently get messages from men with single profiles who, when asked, say they have a wife or girlfriend so clearly, having a single profile doesn't necessarily mean unattached.
How can it when so many on here have a single profile and a couples profile?
If it did, I wouldn't have asked my question because having a single profile would be the same as writing single on one's profile.
That's not what you originally said, you suggested that men who didn't have single written on their profile were 'likely' to be attached etc, inferring they are liars, "
No that's not what I said at all.
I said most single me (IME) have single written on their profile.
If someone doesn't have a relationship status on their profile how can they be lying about it?
I didn't suggest anyone is lying.
My theory, again:
If they do not say anything about their relationship status on their profile (IME) they are likely to be attached.
They haven't said they are single, because they haven't said anything, so how could they be lying? |
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"It clearly states on my profile I'm a single male. Though I can understand why some single males and females choose to cheat and be conniving. Honestly? If I was to enter a relationship, I'd update my profile to say so.
But of course, that would be too sensible now, wouldn't it? "
I think this is to do with MEN who don't write that they are single.
I think, Im not sure anymore, my head is starting to hurt more as each reply is posted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone fancy a shag with a single lady lol
I need to see first 3 written statement from friends stating that you are definitely single
Bloody Nora it's easier to get into the MI5 than get a shag on here at times...do you need the statements signed??
Yes please.. But don't forget to get them sign in front of a solicitor . after reading this thread I don't trust "singles" anymore
This is a serious subject, I am beginning to doubt myself now, if your a man and don't put your a man on your profile , are you really a man?
Profiles already say male or female (or couple or TV/TS)
Single can mean single or just 'meets alone'. There's not another way to interpret "male" and "female" (or couple. I won't comment on TS/TV because all the things that can mean is an entirely different thread).
Except for the women who are actually men, (like Cheeky )
I and many others on here disagree, I think you need to question you 'observations' they are flawed
How can what I have seen be flawed?
The theory I came up with is what is flawed, probably because it is not based on enough data.
You disagree that a male profile probably means male (since male can't really be interpreted any other way)?
Or are you disagreeing that having a single profile does not necessarily mean unattached?
"
Easily, how do I know your observations were not biased, or even plain lies, people do lie on here (shocking eh!). I am disagreeing with the ludicrous assumption that people who don't put single on their profile are 'likely' to be liars |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Your OP was a clear judgement on those who don't write anything about their status when being single...you called them all liars?!
As noted above, you can attempt to wriggle your way out of it as much as you like but you can't tell us you wasn't being judgemental when you quite clearly have been, your initial comment was a statement not a question.
The old adage 'think before you speak' comes to mind, the fact you had the benefit of reading the draft before posting it is disappointing. Now your trying to twist it all is embarrassing considering how articulate you appear to be. "
No, that wasn't what my post said, or meant, at all.
You've totally grabbed the wrong end of the stick.
I've clarified and you can accept that or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think this is to do with MEN who don't write that they are single.
I think, Im not sure anymore, my head is starting to hurt more as each reply is posted"
I figured a generalization would exclude me from scrutiny. We're all equal, but it doesn't seem to be that way.
My head will start to hurt if I continue to push into this debate. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Anyone fancy a shag with a single lady lol
I need to see first 3 written statement from friends stating that you are definitely single
Bloody Nora it's easier to get into the MI5 than get a shag on here at times...do you need the statements signed??
Yes please.. But don't forget to get them sign in front of a solicitor . after reading this thread I don't trust "singles" anymore
This is a serious subject, I am beginning to doubt myself now, if your a man and don't put your a man on your profile , are you really a man?
Profiles already say male or female (or couple or TV/TS)
Single can mean single or just 'meets alone'. There's not another way to interpret "male" and "female" (or couple. I won't comment on TS/TV because all the things that can mean is an entirely different thread).
Except for the women who are actually men, (like Cheeky )
I and many others on here disagree, I think you need to question you 'observations' they are flawed
How can what I have seen be flawed?
The theory I came up with is what is flawed, probably because it is not based on enough data.
You disagree that a male profile probably means male (since male can't really be interpreted any other way)?
Or are you disagreeing that having a single profile does not necessarily mean unattached?
Easily, how do I know your observations were not biased, or even plain lies, people do lie on here (shocking eh!). I am disagreeing with the ludicrous assumption that people who don't put single on their profile are 'likely' to be liars"
I haven't made that assumption.
Observations are just that. They can't be wrong.
They can differ from those of others. Inaccurate theories can be created from them but the observations themselves are what was observed. They can't be wrong.
In the case of most of the messages I get from men with no relationship status on their profile the men turn out to be attached.
That's an observation. It can't be wrong. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"It clearly states on my profile I'm a single male. Though I can understand why some single males and females choose to cheat and be conniving. Honestly? If I was to enter a relationship, I'd update my profile to say so.
But of course, that would be too sensible now, wouldn't it?
I think this is to do with MEN who don't write that they are single.
I think, Im not sure anymore, my head is starting to hurt more as each reply is posted"
The OP mentions women too and explains why my theory and question was about men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone fancy a shag with a single lady lol
I need to see first 3 written statement from friends stating that you are definitely single
Bloody Nora it's easier to get into the MI5 than get a shag on here at times...do you need the statements signed??
Yes please.. But don't forget to get them sign in front of a solicitor . after reading this thread I don't trust "singles" anymore
This is a serious subject, I am beginning to doubt myself now, if your a man and don't put your a man on your profile , are you really a man?
Profiles already say male or female (or couple or TV/TS)
Single can mean single or just 'meets alone'. There's not another way to interpret "male" and "female" (or couple. I won't comment on TS/TV because all the things that can mean is an entirely different thread).
Except for the women who are actually men, (like Cheeky )
I and many others on here disagree, I think you need to question you 'observations' they are flawed
How can what I have seen be flawed?
The theory I came up with is what is flawed, probably because it is not based on enough data.
You disagree that a male profile probably means male (since male can't really be interpreted any other way)?
Or are you disagreeing that having a single profile does not necessarily mean unattached?
Easily, how do I know your observations were not biased, or even plain lies, people do lie on here (shocking eh!). I am disagreeing with the ludicrous assumption that people who don't put single on their profile are 'likely' to be liars
I haven't made that assumption.
Observations are just that. They can't be wrong.
They can differ from those of others. Inaccurate theories can be created from them but the observations themselves are what was observed. They can't be wrong.
In the case of most of the messages I get from men with no relationship status on their profile the men turn out to be attached.
That's an observation. It can't be wrong. "
Seriously, of course they can, human error, bias etc etc can all be factors. How do we know your not a liar, from my observations people accusing single men of being likely of lying about being single are usually liars themselves, just an observation or am I lying  |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"It clearly states on my profile I'm a single male. Though I can understand why some single males and females choose to cheat and be conniving. Honestly? If I was to enter a relationship, I'd update my profile to say so.
But of course, that would be too sensible now, wouldn't it? "
You support my theory then. You are single and you say so. That was one of my observations, that single men tend to write they are single on their profile. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Anyone fancy a shag with a single lady lol
I need to see first 3 written statement from friends stating that you are definitely single
Bloody Nora it's easier to get into the MI5 than get a shag on here at times...do you need the statements signed??
Yes please.. But don't forget to get them sign in front of a solicitor . after reading this thread I don't trust "singles" anymore
This is a serious subject, I am beginning to doubt myself now, if your a man and don't put your a man on your profile , are you really a man?
Profiles already say male or female (or couple or TV/TS)
Single can mean single or just 'meets alone'. There's not another way to interpret "male" and "female" (or couple. I won't comment on TS/TV because all the things that can mean is an entirely different thread).
Except for the women who are actually men, (like Cheeky )
I and many others on here disagree, I think you need to question you 'observations' they are flawed
How can what I have seen be flawed?
The theory I came up with is what is flawed, probably because it is not based on enough data.
You disagree that a male profile probably means male (since male can't really be interpreted any other way)?
Or are you disagreeing that having a single profile does not necessarily mean unattached?
Easily, how do I know your observations were not biased, or even plain lies, people do lie on here (shocking eh!). I am disagreeing with the ludicrous assumption that people who don't put single on their profile are 'likely' to be liars
I haven't made that assumption.
Observations are just that. They can't be wrong.
They can differ from those of others. Inaccurate theories can be created from them but the observations themselves are what was observed. They can't be wrong.
In the case of most of the messages I get from men with no relationship status on their profile the men turn out to be attached.
That's an observation. It can't be wrong.
Seriously, of course they can, human error, bias etc etc can all be factors. How do we know your not a liar, from my observations people accusing single men of being likely of lying about being single are usually liars themselves, just an observation or am I lying "
You misunderstood if you thought I was accusing anyone of being a liar.
I have clarified this numerous times.
If they haven't claimed to be single (because they have said nothing) they can't be lying. It's pretty basic logic but it doesn't fit your agenda which is why you continue to bang on about me accusing people of lying. I didn't but you believe what you will.
And yes, observations are still observations, even if inaccurately reported.
I get messages. I read the profile. I ask about the marital status. It matters to me because I prefer not to meet attached people, therefore I pay attention to what their profile says and what they say. I'm not likely to get it wrong. |
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"The implication in the op is clear.
You've stated that you're single in your profile though. So the OP isn't referring to you.
Hoo-feckin'-rah! Yes! "
I'm a bit baffled as to why some aren't getting it to be honest.
To answer the OP... I have asked a few people their relationship status if it's not been stated on their profile and some have said they are single, some have admitted to being in a relationship and on here without partners knowledge, one was in a relationship and was on here with partners knowledge and I know that was true. Also on the flip
Side I've been duped by a 'single guy' who turned out to be a bare faced liar. So it's swings and roundabouts in my experiance x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't read profiles properly anyway. Some I don't read at all. I've had men admit to being married and ask if that's a problem. I've had a couple of men not admit until we have actually met. As to the OP I wouldn't say I've notices but can recall some saying they are married in their profile |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"The implication in the op is clear.
You've stated that you're single in your profile though. So the OP isn't referring to you.
Hoo-feckin'-rah! Yes!
I'm a bit baffled as to why some aren't getting it to be honest.
To answer the OP... I have asked a few people their relationship status if it's not been stated on their profile and some have said they are single, some have admitted to being in a relationship and on here without partners knowledge, one was in a relationship and was on here with partners knowledge and I know that was true. Also on the flip
Side I've been duped by a 'single guy' who turned out to be a bare faced liar. So it's swings and roundabouts in my experiance x "
I'm baffled too but I guess maybe some guys are so used to posts having a go at them that they expect it and read things that aren't there into posts sometimes.
Most of us have subjects that are touchy for us.
I think there's a divide over what people take having a single status to mean too, which has also confused things.
Quite honestly, if I was intending to accuse anyone of being a liar, I'd just say that. I don't normally hold back after all. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"The implication in the op is clear.
You've stated that you're single in your profile though. So the OP isn't referring to you.
Hoo-feckin'-rah! Yes!
I'm a bit baffled as to why some aren't getting it to be honest.
To answer the OP... I have asked a few people their relationship status if it's not been stated on their profile and some have said they are single, some have admitted to being in a relationship and on here without partners knowledge, one was in a relationship and was on here with partners knowledge and I know that was true. Also on the flip
Side I've been duped by a 'single guy' who turned out to be a bare faced liar. So it's swings and roundabouts in my experiance x
I'm baffled too but I guess maybe some guys are so used to posts having a go at them that they expect it and read things that aren't there into posts sometimes.
Most of us have subjects that are touchy for us.
I think there's a divide over what people take having a single status to mean too, which has also confused things.
Quite honestly, if I was intending to accuse anyone of being a liar, I'd just say that. I don't normally hold back after all."
Single status should say single profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I am very clear in my profile about my situation and as many ladies point out all the time, read my profile before you get in contact......
Many an hour wasted on ladies not reading my profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"...
Profiles already say male or female (or couple or TV/TS)
Single can mean single or just 'meets alone'. There's not another way to interpret "male" and "female" (or couple. I won't comment on TS/TV because all the things that can mean is an entirely different thread).
Except for the women who are actually men, (like Cheeky )"
Good point. People with a single profile may actually be part of a couple and using the single profile to meet alone.
Should they have to mention they are part of a couple though? It's NSA, people are looking for fun not relationships. |
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"Perhaps we need another couple of categories then for those that are really really single and those that are just single.
Definately Single
Single-ish
Mostly Single
Single for the night
Single whilst OH at Sainsburys
De-Coupled
Couplish
Married but can be borrowed
Morally Ambiguous
"
You forgot:
Single while OH out of the country
Single while OH gone home to mother for a month considering separation!!
Sheesh.... |
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"The implication in the op is clear.
You've stated that you're single in your profile though. So the OP isn't referring to you.
Hoo-feckin'-rah! Yes!
I'm a bit baffled as to why some aren't getting it to be honest.
To answer the OP... I have asked a few people their relationship status if it's not been stated on their profile and some have said they are single, some have admitted to being in a relationship and on here without partners knowledge, one was in a relationship and was on here with partners knowledge and I know that was true. Also on the flip
Side I've been duped by a 'single guy' who turned out to be a bare faced liar. So it's swings and roundabouts in my experiance x "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps we need another couple of categories then for those that are really really single and those that are just single.
Definately Single
Single-ish
Mostly Single
Single for the night
Single whilst OH at Sainsburys
De-Coupled
Couplish
Married but can be borrowed
Morally Ambiguous
You forgot:
Single while OH out of the country
Single while OH gone home to mother for a month considering separation!!
Sheesh.... "
What about Forever Single |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"...
Profiles already say male or female (or couple or TV/TS)
Single can mean single or just 'meets alone'. There's not another way to interpret "male" and "female" (or couple. I won't comment on TS/TV because all the things that can mean is an entirely different thread).
Except for the women who are actually men, (like Cheeky )
Good point. People with a single profile may actually be part of a couple and using the single profile to meet alone.
Should they have to mention they are part of a couple though? It's NSA, people are looking for fun not relationships. "
No, nobody should have to, as long as they are honest when asked. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I'm single and can't accommodate due to living with family. But I guess as this is fab and people have an opinion and that's it their opinion is fact!
I'm actually married six kids and playing behind her back at every occasion "
Why are we back on accommodating? This thread isn't about whether people can accommodate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a theory I'd like opinions on please.
Now, firstly, we all know people lie on here, (shocking eh?!), so I'm excluding them from the theory.
Single men (usually) say on their profiles that they are single. If the profile does not comment on their relationship status, they are very likely married or in a relationship, and their other half doesn't know they are here.
Your thoughts and observations?
(Note: I'm commenting on men because I don't look at enough women's profiles to know if it applies to women too. Comments on women's profiles from people who have an opinion are welcome too)"
You are right |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Because so many people on here assume if you can't accom your attached"
That's not what this thread is about though. Whether someone can accommodate or not is not anything to do with my question.
I'm single and won't accommodate so it's unlikely I'd question that.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Actually this has set me thinking,
So off I go to check my profile etc. And nowhere does it state my "marital" status on my Personal details.
There's no default switch/button to press to say I'm single/ separated/ married/ Co-habiting/ play with an FB etc.
So it's down to the individual themselves to state in their profile as to their circumstances ...
Mind you, single people, guys and gals, may well press the single button, if it was on offer, regardless  |
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