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Do you love yourself
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
Do you look in the mirror and think you know what I'm ok me...or do you have self doubts?
Me it took me a good few years to fall in love with myself and it's given me a whole new perspective on a lot of things.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What's not to love xD more recently I've been feeling better about myself. But I'm hot so I should feel good about myself haha
Plus, you're gorgeous so it shouldn't have taken you so long!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sort of, I love WHO I am but the packaging does cause some doubts sometimes!!
I'm nearly there!!
It's lovely to see and hear from people that are already there!! |
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"What's not to love xD more recently I've been feeling better about myself. But I'm hot so I should feel good about myself haha
Plus, you're gorgeous so it shouldn't have taken you so long! "
Haha thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No. Not even close.
But this is news to nobody.
I love my brain and various personality traits but that's all.
VV you need to stop being so hard on yourself... "
Agreed! |
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"I'm comfortable with myself and confident in who I am and what I want but..I was 38 before I found self acceptance. It's been a long journey. "
It is a long journey but for me it's been a worthwhile one...I've changed so much over the last 15 years..I now hate the person I once was. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nope, when I look at myself, all I see are all the imperfections and all the little bits I'd change. I'm such with it though so just get on with what I got lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most of the time. I have moments of self-hate. Tends to be over significant things I've done or not done that I haven't forgiven myself for or feel guilty about. I don't usually feel bad about my appearance..... I sometimes feel old and sometimes think...time to get more in shape but never in a self-loathing way. I learned in my 20s that I am a worthwhile person and to like myself. That has only improved since then with the odd moments of self doubt. There have been experiences and life circumstances that have caused me to question that and the scars seep every so often |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No. Not even close.
But this is news to nobody.
I love my brain and various personality traits but that's all."
I feel the same about myself. I strongly dislike the way I look, I was once told "with looks like mine its good I'm funny" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes taken me a very long time to accept myself and have odd occasions when I'm not so sure but overall pretty good
I do however need to boost my self confidence as I went for an interview for a job and didn't get it because I didn't sell myself enough even though as the interviewer said, I could do the job in my sleep  |
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"Nope, when I look at myself, all I see are all the imperfections and all the little bits I'd change. I'm such with it though so just get on with what I got lol. "
Well from where I'm standing your chest down looks pretty good to me  |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"No. Not even close.
But this is news to nobody.
I love my brain and various personality traits but that's all.
VV you need to stop being so hard on yourself... "
Easier said than done.
I'm working on changing what I don't like. It's difficult and progress is slow but it's easier than learning to accept myself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do now.
Wasn't always the case tho.
I think a lot of it has to do with how little of a fuck I now give about other peoples opinions of how I look.
Beyond looks though, I do take care to be a good person. I do, however, think to be a good person you have to sometimes do things that might make others think ur just being awkward or a wanker for the sake of it.
I am willing to take that on board. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
I'm proud of who I am as a person and I treat people nicely, I do respect myself and like myself.
I am not allways confident and sure of myself but I am forgiving to myself and others and try to always see the best in myself and those around me.
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
I need new photos but I'm dithering because I can't decide just how much of the unflattering stuff I need to show.
For example, I look better when I tuck my jelly belly in my knickers (!) but that's not entirely honest. Then again, obviously I don't want to show myself in the worst possible light. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, because narcissism is destructive.
There's a big difference between loving yourself and narcissism. "
Is there? Could you explain? Surely the goal is self-awareness and acceptance of the good, the bad and the middling rather than 'loving yourself' as taken by its usual meaning. xx
Personally, I struggle more with what's going on inside then my appearance xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I need new photos but I'm dithering because I can't decide just how much of the unflattering stuff I need to show.
For example, I look better when I tuck my jelly belly in my knickers (!) but that's not entirely honest. Then again, obviously I don't want to show myself in the worst possible light."
When you are out and about, do you wear clothes that flatter your figure? If so that's no more dishonest than tucking your tummy into your knickers :P I wouldn't worry about it. People will meet you based on your pics but stay based on you!x |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I need new photos but I'm dithering because I can't decide just how much of the unflattering stuff I need to show.
For example, I look better when I tuck my jelly belly in my knickers (!) but that's not entirely honest. Then again, obviously I don't want to show myself in the worst possible light.
When you are out and about, do you wear clothes that flatter your figure? If so that's no more dishonest than tucking your tummy into your knickers :P I wouldn't worry about it. People will meet you based on your pics but stay based on you!x "
They'll see my tummy not tucked into my knickers once I am no longer wearing them though! I'd hate it to be too much of a shock. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I posted this yesterday in a similar thread in Scotland ...so at the risk of repeating myself I think it equally applies....
I think our levels of confidence peak and trough throughout our lives depending on the circumstances we find ourselves in. It is a very strong person indeed who can say that the opinion of others doesn't matter to them and in many ways over confidence can be intimidating and unattractive. I know from my own point of view I'm at my best when surrounded by those who love and care for me and have indeed seen me at my worst physically and emotionally and still want me!!!! Brave souls indeed. Its true that with age comes a greater sense of contentment with who we are but I'm the first to admit that vanity means the hairspray and make up will keep sticking me together even though the mirror sometimes says "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane". What's on the inside truly is more important. A good heart and personality will always shine through even with the shyest individuals. As was said in another important thread this week..life IS indeed too short. Way too short to let our lack of confidence stand in the way of enjoying it. So for me....its best foot forward... even if often the steps are shaky.  |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
I'm a bit all or nothing; I either think "yep she's OK" or "she's a dreadful human being". It's how I feel and think and what I do that matters to me rather than how I look. The young me was often told that I was the clever one and my sibling was the good looking one with the nice personality and my sense of self-worth is entirely based on internal rather than external factors. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I think I'm ok but unfortunately still seek the validation of others, it's a trait I'm trying to overcome but it's not easy  "
I wonder sometimes if it would help if the validation of others meant something to me.
I don't give a shit about what others think; it's all about how I feel about me. Nasty comments from others can sometimes reinforce my negative opinion but they don't change anything, just as compliments don't help. It's all down to how I feel about me.
Maybe it would help if validation worked. I could, at least, prop myself up on that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i think i look ok, far from perfect but ok. trouble is when people have been critisizing you all your life, people like your mum and your sister it makes you feel that your not good enough, so even if i think i look ok i still think people are critisising me.
i always tell my son he looks nice and he does. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm still learning to love what I see in the mirror!! It's difficult when ure confidence takes a bashing on a daily basis! But the guys in here have been lovely and always provide me with the sparkle I need to accept me!! xx |
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"i think i look ok, far from perfect but ok. trouble is when people have been critisizing you all your life, people like your mum and your sister it makes you feel that your not good enough, so even if i think i look ok i still think people are critisising me.
i always tell my son he looks nice and he does."
Dora I can relate to that...my mum has a thing about people's size and would sometimes make comments etc...but she knows me well enough to know that in certain things I take no notice of her. |
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"I need new photos but I'm dithering because I can't decide just how much of the unflattering stuff I need to show.
For example, I look better when I tuck my jelly belly in my knickers (!) but that's not entirely honest. Then again, obviously I don't want to show myself in the worst possible light."
I have to tuck mine in too but I have never met a man yet that has run screaming from the room because it was there once the knickers had gone |
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I have never really thought about it, I'm not do keen on my body as it refused to look the way I would like it to but I have a sunny outlook on life no matter what is thrown my way, I just keep making lemonade |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, because narcissism is destructive.
There's a big difference between loving yourself and narcissism.
Is there? Could you explain? Surely the goal is self-awareness and acceptance of the good, the bad and the middling rather than 'loving yourself' as taken by its usual meaning. xx
Personally, I struggle more with what's going on inside then my appearance xx "
When I use the term loving myself I mean radical self acceptance. Like you have said unconditionally accepting who you are. Part of living myself would also be changing those things I can change but forgiving myself if I can't. Loving myself in this context in unconditional like the love I have for my son.
Narcissism can be tied in with self-loathing it may also be something in myself that I need to accept, notice when it happens and seek to reduce it if possible. For me it is something completely different.
I agree we may say colloquially "He loves himself " imbuing it with the narcissistic meaning. But personally, I prefer not to use the word love in that context. Love of self and others is too important a value for me to devalue the word when I use it.
Of course others may choose to use the word in whatever sense they wish. I like to preserve it's mwaning for me. Hope that helps explain my bald assertion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I posted this yesterday in a similar thread in Scotland ...so at the risk of repeating myself I think it equally applies....
I think our levels of confidence peak and trough throughout our lives depending on the circumstances we find ourselves in. It is a very strong person indeed who can say that the opinion of others doesn't matter to them and in many ways over confidence can be intimidating and unattractive. I know from my own point of view I'm at my best when surrounded by those who love and care for me and have indeed seen me at my worst physically and emotionally and still want me!!!! Brave souls indeed. Its true that with age comes a greater sense of contentment with who we are but I'm the first to admit that vanity means the hairspray and make up will keep sticking me together even though the mirror sometimes says "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane". What's on the inside truly is more important. A good heart and personality will always shine through even with the shyest individuals. As was said in another important thread this week..life IS indeed too short. Way too short to let our lack of confidence stand in the way of enjoying it. So for me....its best foot forward... even if often the steps are shaky. "
Nicely put  |
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By *andWCouple
over a year ago
Pontypridd |
I've never actually sat down and thought about whether I love myself or not until you posted.
I don't love myself, sometimes I look in the mirror and think ye you look ok today but sometimes ill only see the parts of me I don't like, and only those parts stand out. It works the same way with the inside if myself sometimes I think I'm a lovely person sometimes I can only focus on the bad x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happy with the way I am mentally and also physically most of the time, however my weight and body shape can change in a matter of weeks, but I'm not one to complain, if I have issues I just tend deal with them.
Not sure if I love myself thought but generally happy, and try not to dwell on the bad things that have happened in my life. You can't change the past but you can enjoy the present and mould the future to whatever you what it be
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I look in the mirror and think fook I'm turning into my Mother   Hahahaha, me too..not your mother, mine though. 
I thought you said "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all? Sssssshhhhhhhhh.  "
Have you been yet? Might go this weekend |
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Dunno what it is but summit cringeworthy about 'loving the self' perhaps its all the therapy I have had, reached a comfortable place of liking myself and that will do for me..
But if you wanna love yrself that's cool baby!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hey think of me, i look in the mirror at the end of a good night and see my father looking back - freaky!
But generally have to love myself and my look otherwise id never get out the door. But it doss make it tougher when "straight" swingers are rude. It takes a lot more for me to look stunning than many...althOugh i do look hot when it works.
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no, I hate my body and what it is doing to me, so I punish myself.
I have a pretty face though, even if others think I'm minging. Its just my body, its made me loose all my independence this week. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would'nt say love myself but happy with whom I am and confident in myself, knowing ones bad points and accepting or changing them is integral to knowing the whole you..
"
That may well be 'loving yourself' within the way I use the term. For me it depends on how cruel you are to yourself when you notice things you want to change. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you look in the mirror and think you know what I'm ok me...or do you have self doubts?
Me it took me a good few years to fall in love with myself and it's given me a whole new perspective on a lot of things. "
i have good days bad days and days a cap will do on my head lol
im content with me and thats all i want |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"no, I hate my body and what it is doing to me, so I punish myself.
I have a pretty face though, even if others think I'm minging. Its just my body, its made me loose all my independence this week. "
i love your body x  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dunno what it is but summit cringeworthy about 'loving the self' perhaps its all the therapy I have had, reached a comfortable place of liking myself and that will do for me..
But if you wanna love yrself that's cool baby!! "
Lol I think that's just the bloke in you talking |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you look in the mirror and think you know what I'm ok me...or do you have self doubts?
Me it took me a good few years to fall in love with myself and it's given me a whole new perspective on a lot of things. "
No, I have loads of self doubts and probably always will do! I've always been quite harsh on myself in that sense though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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never did for allsorts of reasons - did for a while but knock backs and the certain people you thought were friends treat you - make me think im awful - im not really in a nice person just a mug i guess |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Naughty weekend, hopefully soak up some sun and retail therapy.
That sounds like a good bit of self-loving That will feature too I suspect. "
I didn't mean it euphemistically but now you've gone and caused a urge for some self-loving  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Naughty weekend, hopefully soak up some sun and retail therapy.
u not saw the weather forcast then?
You are assuming I will be in England. "
Bitch
ur somewhere warm arent u |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"not at the moment "
I'm in the same camp... I'm suffering some really serious self doubt issues but not really to do with weight or anything as that to be fair I'm addressing.. it's just confidence and a huge ego knock x |
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Yes, Im not perfect but I am good enough and plenty of things about me to love. Physically and mentally there are things Id improve, but can stay as they are and it wouldnt really hurt, so fine. Sometimes our drive for better, bigger faster etc is just a fool's errand. Slow down and when we appreciate what we have, we can be more at peace with ourselves and others. Im big on personal development, but a big part of that can be self acceptance. |
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