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How soon should you tell a new partner that you swing?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A friend of mine who swings, originally as a couple but now single has now met a vanilla guy. She wants to be honest and tell him but not sure when she should as they have only gone out twice but she likes him and wants to be honest.
How soon should she tell or should she give it up and say nothing?
(And no its not me doing a dear Marjorie)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think someone in the scotland room asked that recently.
i think it's very much an individual thing, but i think i'd need to say something befoe the bond of trust has been built and before it gets serious...could lead to heartbreak otherwise.
in the early days it's still fun and anythings game as there's no emotional connection, so i think i'd get it done and dusted. if he doesnt like it now...he never will! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally i would tell em on the first meet as i did with my ex wife and Les saves any tears later xx
They may not like it at first but at least they know you are honest and upfront xx  |
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"i told anne i was a swinger on our first date best to be upfont there,s no need to hide it
its nothing to be ashamed of or boast about "
I agree, also the longer you leave it the harder it is to tell your new other and the more it looks as if you have been deceiving them in my opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't say a thing...unless I intended to continue with the lifestyle.
When you meet someone you don't tell them your life story on the first date - I don't any way.
Gee, it's bad enough for some people to realise you had a life before them with spouses and kids, imagine the grief explaining you shag strangers on a regular basis just for the sheer fun of it!!  |
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I would totally agree with Bringit…
Cards on the table face up as soon as possible, longer she leaves it the more difficult it gets. He might react with ‘get lost you slapper’ on the other hand he might say ‘fantastic me too’.
Even if she chooses to give up swinging chances are he’ll find out about it in time and although I would agree in principal that her life before she met him is none of his business she will probably want to tell him in time, so she needs to have some idea of what his reaction is going to be. If his response is very negative than chances are he wasn’t the one for her anyway as their views on sex/morals etc. would be yards apart.
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it's all about timing lol do it early in the relationship, but time it perfect, I'd suggest while his cocks in ya arse but before he's come simply suggest bringin someone else to the bedroom, to which his reply will be 'A WOMAN???' to which u can casually say mayyyyybe, and if he comes the doors is open to bigger better things lol |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"A friend of mine who swings, originally as a couple but now single has now met a vanilla guy. She wants to be honest and tell him but not sure when she should as they have only gone out twice but she likes him and wants to be honest.
How soon should she tell or should she give it up and say nothing?
(And no its not me doing a dear Marjorie)
"
at the very beginning  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"I wouldn't say a thing...unless I intended to continue with the lifestyle.
When you meet someone you don't tell them your life story on the first date - I don't any way.
Gee, it's bad enough for some people to realise you had a life before them with spouses and kids, imagine the grief explaining you shag strangers on a regular basis just for the sheer fun of it!! "
They're only strangers until you meet up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A friend of mine who swings, originally as a couple but now single has now met a vanilla guy. She wants to be honest and tell him but not sure when she should as they have only gone out twice but she likes him and wants to be honest.
How soon should she tell or should she give it up and say nothing?
(And no its not me doing a dear Marjorie)
"
As they they have only gone out twice does that classify them as partners? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd broach the subject in a general way, kind of like getting to know each other's opinions on politics, religion, sex, all those things you're not supposed to talk about lol.
"hey, a friend of mine is a catholic/MP/swinger, (lol, probably all of the above...) what do you think about that?" |
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"I'd broach the subject in a general way, kind of like getting to know each other's opinions on politics, religion, sex, all those things you're not supposed to talk about lol.
"hey, a friend of mine is a catholic/MP/swinger, (lol, probably all of the above...) what do you think about that?""
Ah yes but the problem with that approach is that people often say what they ‘think’ you want to hear or they say what society says they should.
At work for example I’m often there when work colleagues are talking about some off the wall TV documentary about human behaviour, and for the most part they take the piss and ‘oh no that’s degusting’ and ‘that’s perverted’ etc. So I either keep my trap shut, agree with them or make some side-ways comment that they ‘think’ is a joke. Such as…
“Had a good weekend?”
“It was ok, just the usual orgy”
or…
“Where’s Helen?”
“Oh I left her indoors being hammed by a guy with a 8 inch cock, I’ll lick her out when I get home”
Don’t think one can always go by body language either, as in ‘no apparent reaction’ could mean just not interested or phased by the subject.
One thing is certain… its always a tricky one |
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