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Following on from the iq thread
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"drag your bum along the floor and blame the dog..."
Good idea but we've got tiles downstairs, really need a deep pile carpet for that to be effective |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"drag your bum along the floor and blame the dog...
Good idea but we've got tiles downstairs, really need a deep pile carpet for that to be effective "
you make a good point, back to the drawing board.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I heard that in some undeveloped countries, they always eat with one hand - because the other one is for wiping.
Just don't get mixed up."
I'm not there yet, one option is to just sit here until someone gets up |
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"I heard that in some undeveloped countries, they always eat with one hand - because the other one is for wiping.
Just don't get mixed up.
I'm not there yet, one option is to just sit here until someone gets up "
seems the best optoin to me .. just dont let on youve been in there for ages .. may i suggest a little bogroll cabinet lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"just wipe it on the walls and say you were protesting
you will need a crazed look, a dribble from the down side of your mouth and electro shock treatment....
"
That's it a dirty campaign viva la revolution |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I heard that in some undeveloped countries, they always eat with one hand - because the other one is for wiping.
Just don't get mixed up."
Hence the term cack handed being the left! Always eat and greet with the right!
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you haven't made it clear which bits need cleaning ....
In any case - just how shitty can your arse be ?
Right...... if you have a bath in there - run the tap and use it as a bidet then dry your clean fanwah and harseole on a towel or simply hang out of the window to air dry your bits.
If you don't have a bath in there - squeeze cheeks of arse together and waddle to the bathroom like a penguin. |
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If you have nothing at all
shake fanny in pan.
Wait two full minutes with legs wide open
Stand
Stand with legs wide open for a good five mins.
Bend over and stand with arse cheeks open for 24 hrs until poo has dried into clinkers and falls off.
Best I can do right now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you have nothing at all
shake fanny in pan.
Wait two full minutes with legs wide open
Stand
Stand with legs wide open for a good five mins.
Bend over and stand with arse cheeks open for 24 hrs until poo has dried into clinkers and falls off.
Best I can do right now"
Sounds like the voice of experience  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm sat on the toilet and I forgot to get a new toilet roll out of the cupboard, everyone else is asleep, any ideas ?
Don't drop your phone.  "
#lightbulbmoment... take the case off the back of the phone and use it as a scraper! |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"I wonder if she's still sat there, asleep, on the loo 
She's a he and was rescued by the missus where is the dulux dog when you need him "
I'm glad you got rescued. I'd hate to think how things would have been down there, otherwise  |
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"I wonder if she's still sat there, asleep, on the loo
She's a he and was rescued by the missus where is the dulux dog when you need him "
we all saw the legs and assumed a lady in distress lol .. wel if its the bloke .. its the ladys job to replenish bogrolls so you hasd every right to yell for fresh supplies .. on tbe other hand .. tbe bloke should put up a bogroll shelf to avoid similar outages in the future |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm sat on the toilet and I forgot to get a new toilet roll out of the cupboard, everyone else is asleep, any ideas ?"
Is the old roll still in the holder? Could you not use the cardboard bit... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm sat on the toilet and I forgot to get a new toilet roll out of the cupboard, everyone else is asleep, any ideas ?
Is the old roll still in the holder? Could you not use the cardboard bit... "
What fashion it into an arse spoon ! ?!?!   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm sat on the toilet and I forgot to get a new toilet roll out of the cupboard, everyone else is asleep, any ideas ?"
Lol when my girl was a toddler I used to call her to bring the new toilet roll x she toddle in..... With one sheet x  |
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