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Dementia Awareness Week 18-24 May 2014
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
It's Dementia Awareness Week.
Watch for:
Memory loss
Communication problems
Changes in mood.
I have been trying the "remember the person" this last week and rediscovering things about my mother I had forgotten.
We have never had an easy relationship but this last week I have come to appreciate and remember what an amazing and dynamic person she was before dementia.
Is there anyone you need to remember?
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Two members of my family. It's really good dementia is getting more attention."
There is a movement for dementia friendly places too. Manchester and York are leading the way on developing dementia friendly cities but it is quite small scale at the moment.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never been affected by dementia personally, but it's a huge part of the work the charity I work for is involved in. Our awareness campaign is kicking into overdrive this month. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One of my grandmothers. She is in the early stages, so still knows me, but it's progressing rapidly. I'm showing her old photos when I visit as she enjoys talking about them. Amazing lady who lived through WW2,dressed amazingly throughout her life & was awarded the British Empire Medal.
I'm sad, that she's got dementia but valuing my time with her now. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"One of my grandmothers. She is in the early stages, so still knows me, but it's progressing rapidly. I'm showing her old photos when I visit as she enjoys talking about them. Amazing lady who lived through WW2,dressed amazingly throughout her life & was awarded the British Empire Medal.
I'm sad, that she's got dementia but valuing my time with her now. "
Try making a memory book with her. Something for her to look at that reminds her about her past and something for you to have of her too.
We asked my aunts to give us anecdotes from their childhood together but my mother doesn't always know who I am so it's a bit too late.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My amazing late paternal Grandparents both suffered with dementia and my maternal Grandfather is in currently in the latter stages of the illness. It's so heartbreaking watching the person you know and love slip away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Two members of my family. It's really good dementia is getting more attention.
There is a movement for dementia friendly places too. Manchester and York are leading the way on developing dementia friendly cities but it is quite small scale at the moment.
"
I have heard of these. There was an interesting interview on LBC last Sunday morning. Steve Allen talking to the actor that plays Christian on Eastenders. He was talking about taking time off to care for his mother. And what was involved in looking after her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Try making a memory book with her. Something for her to look at that reminds her about her past and something for you to have of her too.
We asked my aunts to give us anecdotes from their childhood together but my mother doesn't always know who I am so it's a bit too late.
"
That's a great idea. I'm labelling all the photos we talk about. I think I'll become my Mum where my Nan is concerned eventually. It's a cruel disease. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we have the wifes mother living with us and she has alzheimers.
amazing how it puts every aspect of your life fully on hold to care for them"
I completely applaud you for having her with you,its extremely demanding hard work thats also heartbreaking when you watch the deterioration first hand,not many families would entertain the idea |
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"we have the wifes mother living with us and she has alzheimers.
amazing how it puts every aspect of your life fully on hold to care for them
I completely applaud you for having her with you,its extremely demanding hard work thats also heartbreaking when you watch the deterioration first hand,not many families would entertain the idea"
thanks, as you say. not many families would, she has bought up 6 children and not one of them wants anything to do with her, apart from one who we took her away from as they were stealing her pension money every week 
caused a right rift in the family but at least we know she is safe and well and is starting to build a bit of cash up in a bank account we opened for her.
first time in her 82 years she has had a bank account, let alone spare money |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dementia is so indiscriminate and so cruel,
But hopefully one day it will become a rare condition that can be effectively managed in a way that provides each sufferer and carer with the dignity, support and compassion that is so often missing at present.  |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"we have the wifes mother living with us and she has alzheimers.
amazing how it puts every aspect of your life fully on hold to care for them
I completely applaud you for having her with you,its extremely demanding hard work thats also heartbreaking when you watch the deterioration first hand,not many families would entertain the idea
thanks, as you say. not many families would, she has bought up 6 children and not one of them wants anything to do with her, apart from one who we took her away from as they were stealing her pension money every week
caused a right rift in the family but at least we know she is safe and well and is starting to build a bit of cash up in a bank account we opened for her.
first time in her 82 years she has had a bank account, let alone spare money"
Good luck with the caring. We weren't able to cope but every case is different.
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Dementia is so indiscriminate and so cruel,
But hopefully one day it will become a rare condition that can be effectively managed in a way that provides each sufferer and carer with the dignity, support and compassion that is so often missing at present. "
There is now some research that shows that statins may help reduce the incidence of dementia. More work to do on that but if so it could be useful.
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"we have the wifes mother living with us and she has alzheimers.
amazing how it puts every aspect of your life fully on hold to care for them
I completely applaud you for having her with you,its extremely demanding hard work thats also heartbreaking when you watch the deterioration first hand,not many families would entertain the idea
thanks, as you say. not many families would, she has bought up 6 children and not one of them wants anything to do with her, apart from one who we took her away from as they were stealing her pension money every week
caused a right rift in the family but at least we know she is safe and well and is starting to build a bit of cash up in a bank account we opened for her.
first time in her 82 years she has had a bank account, let alone spare money
Good luck with the caring. We weren't able to cope but every case is different.
"
must admit, we really are struggling, but we just dont think she is quite ready for full time in a care home, we intend to carry on as long as possible |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"we have the wifes mother living with us and she has alzheimers.
amazing how it puts every aspect of your life fully on hold to care for them
I completely applaud you for having her with you,its extremely demanding hard work thats also heartbreaking when you watch the deterioration first hand,not many families would entertain the idea
thanks, as you say. not many families would, she has bought up 6 children and not one of them wants anything to do with her, apart from one who we took her away from as they were stealing her pension money every week
caused a right rift in the family but at least we know she is safe and well and is starting to build a bit of cash up in a bank account we opened for her.
first time in her 82 years she has had a bank account, let alone spare money
Good luck with the caring. We weren't able to cope but every case is different.
must admit, we really are struggling, but we just dont think she is quite ready for full time in a care home, we intend to carry on as long as possible"
It takes ages to arrange so if you're not coping now get the help in right now. When you really need it you will find things move much more quickly. As long as you have guardianship too, otherwise it will take longer.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we as a family cared for my dad at home..was a nitemare..but we gave it our best..he is now in care but he is safe that what was our main concern.it is not easy for anyone. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"we as a family cared for my dad at home..was a nitemare..but we gave it our best..he is now in care but he is safe that what was our main concern.it is not easy for anyone."
It was the violence that tipped the balance for us. She wasn't safe and neither were we.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My mum had it. Such a cruel illness. Might sound heartless but I wish she had died sooner than she did. So sad seeing someone you love fade away in mind but not in body. The times I went to see her and she 'wasn't there' were heart wrenching. I could never leave straight away so often sat there waiting for her to 'come back to me' for just a few minutes.
On the memory book idea, we did that but also had a book by her side that her friends and vistors could write how she was and what they talked about. It gave the next lot of people to see her an insight of how she was, and also some conversation ideas! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My amazing late paternal Grandparents both suffered with dementia and my maternal Grandfather is in currently in the latter stages of the illness. It's so heartbreaking watching the person you know and love slip away. "
Same with my Mother , in her ninth year and barely has much cognitive function left . My Father is in his 81st year and still looks after at home , full time . Truly inspiring , and a real role model for me  |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"My amazing late paternal Grandparents both suffered with dementia and my maternal Grandfather is in currently in the latter stages of the illness. It's so heartbreaking watching the person you know and love slip away.
Same with my Mother , in her ninth year and barely has much cognitive function left . My Father is in his 81st year and still looks after at home , full time . Truly inspiring , and a real role model for me "
That is very brave and dedicated of him.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is a high incidence in my family so I suspect for me it will only be a matter of time. My Father's condition started about 20 years ago and now he is unable to communicate amongst other things. But he is healthy, happy and very well looked after in his own home by people who genuinely care for him. Once diagnosed we were advised to put in place an enduring power of attorney and I would recommend this to everyone with family members who are affected.
While I have lost the Dad I grew up with, the Dad I have now still gives love and while he doesn't always know who I am, he is still a wonderful human being in many ways. |
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I work for one of a leading hospital in Manchester and we are doing some wonderful workshops for families living with a family member or know a family member or friend with Dementia, it's fantastic that so many people want to get involved and understand all about it. With more people aware of the signs and how to deal/cope with it it will be easier for all to deal with. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I work for one of a leading hospital in Manchester and we are doing some wonderful workshops for families living with a family member or know a family member or friend with Dementia, it's fantastic that so many people want to get involved and understand all about it. With more people aware of the signs and how to deal/cope with it it will be easier for all to deal with."
Is this part of the dementia friendly city work?
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"There is a high incidence in my family so I suspect for me it will only be a matter of time. My Father's condition started about 20 years ago and now he is unable to communicate amongst other things. But he is healthy, happy and very well looked after in his own home by people who genuinely care for him. Once diagnosed we were advised to put in place an enduring power of attorney and I would recommend this to everyone with family members who are affected.
While I have lost the Dad I grew up with, the Dad I have now still gives love and while he doesn't always know who I am, he is still a wonderful human being in many ways."
Twenty years is a long time. I'm glad you have been able to have a new relationship with your father.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" also had a book by her side that her friends and vistors could write how she was and what they talked about. It gave the next lot of people to see her an insight of how she was, and also some conversation ideas!"
What a fantastic idea! I'm going to do that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is a high incidence in my family so I suspect for me it will only be a matter of time. My Father's condition started about 20 years ago and now he is unable to communicate amongst other things. But he is healthy, happy and very well looked after in his own home by people who genuinely care for him. Once diagnosed we were advised to put in place an enduring power of attorney and I would recommend this to everyone with family members who are affected.
While I have lost the Dad I grew up with, the Dad I have now still gives love and while he doesn't always know who I am, he is still a wonderful human being in many ways.
Twenty years is a long time. I'm glad you have been able to have a new relationship with your father.
"
It is a long time, and it has been sad to see the deterioration over time, but you just have to accept it and keep focussing on the good things no matter how awful the bad things are. And I've learned to separate the person from the condition, Dad can't help the way he is so no matter how awful certain things are, he is still a wonderful human being. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I work in a nursing home with people with Dementia has much as it hard for family & friend please just remember the individual is happy in they own little world. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My Mother has had Vascular Dementia since 2002. She is now in a care home (it is a brilliant one). Because we didn't set up Gardianship for her I'm having to go through the whole process. This weekend I have to go in person and serve the court papers on her for this. She will not know what it is all about (she now doesn't recognise me) but I have to do this to proceed through the courts.  |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"My Mother has had Vascular Dementia since 2002. She is now in a care home (it is a brilliant one). Because we didn't set up Gardianship for her I'm having to go through the whole process. This weekend I have to go in person and serve the court papers on her for this. She will not know what it is all about (she now doesn't recognise me) but I have to do this to proceed through the courts. "
Don't forget you must read the papers out to her before you sign that she didn't understand.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" also had a book by her side that her friends and vistors could write how she was and what they talked about. It gave the next lot of people to see her an insight of how she was, and also some conversation ideas!
What a fantastic idea! I'm going to do that. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" also had a book by her side that her friends and vistors could write how she was and what they talked about. It gave the next lot of people to see her an insight of how she was, and also some conversation ideas!
What a fantastic idea! I'm going to do that.
"
this is also very useful for carers going in - one lady i looked after had a huge pinboard family had made - full of pics and stuff - and as more people popped in they added a post it sticker onto something they remembered - passed a lot of happy hours with it |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Google Dementia Friends.
And if you can - sign up and get involved, even if on a small scale - just to raise awareness at work/in your local community. It makes a big, big difference just ensuring others have a better understanding of the issues.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My Mother has had Vascular Dementia since 2002. She is now in a care home (it is a brilliant one). Because we didn't set up Gardianship for her I'm having to go through the whole process. This weekend I have to go in person and serve the court papers on her for this. She will not know what it is all about (she now doesn't recognise me) but I have to do this to proceed through the courts.
Don't forget you must read the papers out to her before you sign that she didn't understand.
"
Thank you. Yes, that will be the hardest part. She was (is) an intelligent woman and to now have to do this is horrid. If only she had signed the papers a few years ago, as advised, to give me POA, and not been so pig headed. |
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