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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'M GLAD I'M A MAN
I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe.
I don't live off of yogurt, diet , or cottage cheese.
I don't bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts.
I can get where I want to - north, south, east or west.
I don't get wasted after only 2 beers,
and when I do drink I don't end up in tears.
I won't spend hours deciding what to wear.
I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair.
And I don't go around checking my reflection
in everything shiny from every direction.
I don't whine in public and make us leave early,
and when you ask why get all bitter and surly.
I'm glad I'm a man, I'm so glad I could sing.
I don't have to sit around waiting for that ring.
I don't gossip about friends or stab them in the back.
I don't carry our differences into the sack.
I'll never go psycho and threaten to kill you
or think every guy out there's trying to steal you.
I'm rational, reasonable, and logical too.
I know what the time is and I know what to do.
And I honestly think its a privilege for me
to have these two balls and stand when I pee.
I live to watch sports and play all sorts of ball.
It's more fun than dealing with women after all.
I won't cry if you say it's not going to work.
I won't remain bitter and call you a jerk.
Feel free to use me for immediate pleasure.
I won't assume it's permanent by any measure.
Yes, I'm so very glad I'm a man, you see.
I'm glad I'm not capable of child delivery.
I don't get all bitchy every 28 days.
I'm glad that my gender gets me a much bigger raise.
I'm a man by chance and I'm thankful it's true.
I'm so glad I'm a man and not a woman like you!
PS no offence to women before you all give me grief it's just a joke  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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First the Lord made man in the Garden of Eden.
Then he said to himself, "There's something he's needing' ."
After casting about for a suitable pearl,
He kept messing around and created a girl.
Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender,
Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender.
Two lovely hips to increase his desire,
And rounded and firm to bring out the fire.
Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud,
Commanding his eyes, as he whispers aloud.
Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you,
And two loving hands, to soothe and caress you.
Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder,
And two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder.
'Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing.
Then he added a mouth. Ruined the whole fucking thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm glad I'm a man and by chance not a lady
Agnostic by faith but I question it daily
the reason is simple I tell you it's true
it's the women I meet both the old and the new
my attraction to them always gives me a lift
it's easy to believe that a god made this gift!
Spice 2014
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm glad I'm a girl and allowed to be fussy
I don't care if swinging brands me as a hussy
I know what I want and I look where I can
To find my ideal kind of playmate/man
I know I'm not perfect but I know what I'm worth
And certain equipment is a privilege of birth
So dont you get bossy cos you got the hots
I got the pussy, so I call the shots    |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yarrrgh Mi hearties the Naughty Pirate be here,
Looking for FAB treasure to pillage and share,
be it fun with your wife or a single busty beauty,
I'm here and prepared to do my FAB duty.
I'm straight as a die so no Pirate on Pirate,
but if it's group fun ye seek then that's fine I do like it.
I sail the seven seas in search of adventure,
and drop anchor in Plymouth when seeking new pleasure.
This pirate be hardy, so no switching for me,
Do as your told or bend over my knee,
I'm willing to leave my stamp of approval,
and tie you in knots that will leave you immobile.
I do like my grog so I insist on a drink,
So meet in the tavern and see if click.
If all goes well and we decide to set sail
then its back to my Mess deck to create merry Hell.
I am available to accommodate when home on leave,
So any FAB northerners should definitely take heed.
Hull is my home port where I continue my adventures
for naughty fun couples and single Fem treasures.
So enough from Jack with his jabbering tongue
Its laid on a plate so come have some fun,
Drop me a wink or send me a message,
and climb on aboard to enjoy the FAB voyage |
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But not me of course! 