FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > bastard single men

bastard single men

By *rinking-in-la OP Couple over a year ago

Bristol

Why do single men insist on looking at our profile despite the fact we say clearly that we will find them if we need them? Why must they exploit the pictures we put up there for genuine couples to see for their own mucky ends?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

toss-pots

everyone of em, er us

subtle!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Use filters to block them

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

How would they know you where only looking for couples unless they opened your profile to see?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

don't they need to look at your profile to see that?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"don't they need to look at your profile to see that?"
exactly

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Are you being serious?!

That's such a big deal? Maybe they thought they were the 'cute playmates' that you are looking for.

...a lot are making mountains out of mole hills lately.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i know what you mean though....i find people i don't fancy sometimes look at me!

even in real life too......it's such a bane....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How would they know you where only looking for couples unless they opened your profile to see?

True

And why do you care anyway? X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm thinking this post wasn't entirely serious?

Or I hope so anyway...

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By *rinking-in-la OP Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"don't they need to look at your profile to see that?exactly

The bastards should just know.

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

It's the multitude of single girls that you should be ranting about - with their constant winking, fabbing, 'fancy a fuck' messages and pussy pic avatars!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

op is on a windup

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By *rinking-in-la OP Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"It's the multitude of single girls that you should be ranting about - with their constant winking, fabbing, 'fancy a fuck' messages and pussy pic avatars!

You are right. Pains in the arse all of them. We fend them off with a mucky stick. (Obviously)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By *rinking-in-la OP Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"Are you being serious?!

That's such a big deal? Maybe they thought they were the 'cute playmates' that you are looking for.

...a lot are making mountains out of mole hills lately.

Take that hook out your mouth. Just as well I fish with barbless hooks.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"don't they need to look at your profile to see that?exactly

if this isn't a windup, which i strongly suspect it is now, it's akin to putting up a sign inside your house telling people to stay off the property....

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

"It's the multitude of single girls that you should be ranting about - with their constant winking, fabbing, 'fancy a fuck' messages and pussy pic avatars!

You are right. Pains in the arse all of them. We fend them off with a mucky stick. (Obviously)"

Sensible decision!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

the real perves are the not-so-single married men

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"don't they need to look at your profile to see that?exactly

if this isn't a windup, which i strongly suspect it is now, it's akin to putting up a sign inside your house telling people to stay off the property...."

what took you so long?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Absolute bastards the lot of them, off with their heads!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are you being serious?!

That's such a big deal? Maybe they thought they were the 'cute playmates' that you are looking for.

...a lot are making mountains out of mole hills lately.

Take that hook out your mouth. Just as well I fish with barbless hooks."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ooops opened that up by mistake and fabbed those pics by mistake never mind just another useless single man lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's the multitude of single girls that you should be ranting about - with their constant winking, fabbing, 'fancy a fuck' messages and pussy pic avatars!

Never mind the girls that was me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your posting your naked pictures in the public domain, if you don't want men to wank over them set them to private.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

another couple where the male half's been wanking at my pics..my cock namely..but then got angry with himself(via several hatewanks) and now needs to vent some shit..

thats my explanation anyway...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How would you know they were wanking over it anyway unless you saw crumbs dropping off the air.

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By *rinking-in-la OP Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"another couple where the male half's been wanking at my pics..my cock namely..but then got angry with himself(via several hatewanks) and now needs to vent some shit..

thats my explanation anyway..."

I imagine it happens a lot. It is spooky how accurate you are.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"another couple where the male half's been wanking at my pics..my cock namely..but then got angry with himself(via several hatewanks) and now needs to vent some shit..

thats my explanation anyway...

I imagine it happens a lot. It is spooky how accurate you are."

splat...also very accurate on your face....wipe your chin

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By *rinking-in-la OP Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"another couple where the male half's been wanking at my pics..my cock namely..but then got angry with himself(via several hatewanks) and now needs to vent some shit..

thats my explanation anyway...

I imagine it happens a lot. It is spooky how accurate you are.

splat...also very accurate on your face....wipe your chin

Aw fuck sake. That's my makeup ruined.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

possibly because they dont know you only want single men when you decide to look for them untill they look on your profile

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I haven't looked, honestly

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Absolute bastards the lot of them, off with their heads!"

Both heads! Off of all the complete and utter bastards.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"don't they need to look at your profile to see that?exactly

if this isn't a windup, which i strongly suspect it is now, it's akin to putting up a sign inside your house telling people to stay off the property....

what took you so long?"

idiocy?

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

They have mucky ends?

No wonder they can't get meets!

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I did, or did I?

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

"Are you being serious?!

That's such a big deal? Maybe they thought they were the 'cute playmates' that you are looking for.

...a lot are making mountains out of mole hills lately.

Take that hook out your mouth. Just as well I fish with barbless hooks."

So a troll then.

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

"Why do single men insist on looking at our profile despite the fact we say clearly that we will find them if we need them? Why must they exploit the pictures we put up there for genuine couples to see for their own mucky ends? "
i perved your pix . ner ner ner .. and im single ... ner .. and i dont even come from bristol ... ner

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How DARE they look at your profile knowing you're not looking for single men. I mean, their mind reading skills should really be better

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tie them up and flog them till they beg for mercy and promise never to do it again

I could help.....please say yes......please say yes....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tie them up and flog them till they beg for mercy and promise never to do it again

I could help.....please say yes......please say yes....

Been looking at my photos again ?

Besides, I thought it was you that preferred being tied up ....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Should think very few are bastards, I personally knew my mum and dad very well

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tie them up and flog them till they beg for mercy and promise never to do it again

I could help.....please say yes......please say yes....

Been looking at my photos again ?

Besides, I thought it was you that preferred being tied up ....

Guilty I just can't help perving

And it is but I could have a go at it you never know I might get offered some exciting reciprocal spanks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Apologies if I show in your 'looked at list', OP, but it's the easiest way for you to show in my 'blocked' list after such a reprehensible title to your thread.

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By *rinking-in-la OP Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"Apologies if I show in your 'looked at list', OP, but it's the easiest way for you to show in my 'blocked' list after such a reprehensible title to your thread.

Look up irony. It was deliberately reprehensible.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

dont care who looks at us - weve filtered the messages though

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By *rinking-in-la OP Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"Are you being serious?!

That's such a big deal? Maybe they thought they were the 'cute playmates' that you are looking for.

...a lot are making mountains out of mole hills lately.

Take that hook out your mouth. Just as well I fish with barbless hooks.

So a troll then."

No. I don't live under a bridge. This thread, for the avoidance of doubt was a bit of a clumsy satire on the why oh why threads bemoaning the fact that people post pics and information on a public site and yet the public have the temerity and guile to look.

Additionally it was posted in the knowledge that many people cannot see a joke staring them in the face and will jump on the richeous bandwagon without really considering if a thread with such a moronic premise and OP could possibly be serious.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes the audacity those bloody barstardy single men have looking at my profile when im not even interested .....oooh hang on a min

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are you being serious?!

That's such a big deal? Maybe they thought they were the 'cute playmates' that you are looking for.

...a lot are making mountains out of mole hills lately.

Take that hook out your mouth. Just as well I fish with barbless hooks.

So a troll then.

Heres a tip, if you want a post to be interpreted in a jokey way, use a

or a

to avoid misinterpretation.

(See what I did there)?

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By *rinking-in-la OP Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"Are you being serious?!

That's such a big deal? Maybe they thought they were the 'cute playmates' that you are looking for.

...a lot are making mountains out of mole hills lately.

Take that hook out your mouth. Just as well I fish with barbless hooks.

So a troll then.

Heres a tip, if you want a post to be interpreted in a jokey way, use a

or a

to avoid misinterpretation.

(See what I did there)?

No. Irony by definition needs to be left unmolested by emoticons. This is not an american sitcom where the writers feel the need to signal each joke in case any of the readers/viewers take things too seriously and have no joy in their heart.

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By *wiftieeMan over a year ago

near Glasgow

[Removed by poster at 15/05/14 08:19:17]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes the audacity those bloody barstardy single men have looking at my profile when im not even interested .....oooh hang on a min"

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By *wiftieeMan over a year ago

near Glasgow

"don't they need to look at your profile to see that?"

Exactly!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/05/14 08:25:09]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The real bastards are the ones who do it in stealth mode so you can't perv them back

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do single men insist on looking at our profile despite the fact we say clearly that we will find them if we need them? "

I'm a single guy, thanks for calling me a bastard.

Question.

How the actual fuck are we supposed to know that you say that on your profile WITHOUT looking at your profile?...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

They are allowed to look surely? You know how the site works.

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By *rinking-in-la OP Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"Why do single men insist on looking at our profile despite the fact we say clearly that we will find them if we need them?

I'm a single guy, thanks for calling me a bastard.

Question.

How the actual fuck are we supposed to know that you say that on your profile WITHOUT looking at your profile?...

Read the thread. Calm down.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im sat here chuckling at all the indignation over a coffee

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By *ustcutieWoman over a year ago

edinburgh

"Im sat here chuckling at all the indignation over a coffee

Me too

maybe it's just too early

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do single men insist on looking at our profile despite the fact we say clearly that we will find them if we need them?

I'm a single guy, thanks for calling me a bastard.

Question.

How the actual fuck are we supposed to know that you say that on your profile WITHOUT looking at your profile?...

Read the thread. Calm down."

I have.

And your answer to my question is?...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are you being serious?!

That's such a big deal? Maybe they thought they were the 'cute playmates' that you are looking for.

...a lot are making mountains out of mole hills lately.

Take that hook out your mouth. Just as well I fish with barbless hooks.

So a troll then.

Heres a tip, if you want a post to be interpreted in a jokey way, use a

or a

to avoid misinterpretation.

(See what I did there)?

No, its an internet forum where everything should be read in a passive voice and any emotion or inflection should be carefully considered nor necessarily implied unless explicitly stated - otherwise it all goes a bit 'tits-up' when someone reads a post in a way the originator did not intend.

You can't apply the rules of 'Situational Comedy' here, there is no physical, facial or intonational cues whatsoever to indicate humour, irony, pathos or otherwise.

...oh and Irony, by definition, has no defined written rules denoting its existence - though there is a proposal that's been going around for an 'Irony Punctuation Mark' for a hundred or so years.

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By *rinking-in-la OP Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"Im sat here chuckling at all the indignation over a coffee

Me too

maybe it's just too early

As the op, I take it all very seriously.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I just wanked over the picture of your wifes tits. Thanks.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I just wanked over the picture of your wifes tits. Thanks. "

ahahahahahahahaha!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im sat here chuckling at all the indignation over a coffee

Me too

maybe it's just too early

As the op, I take it all very seriously. "

So you should,its a serious matter and its all your fault

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Are they telling you one thing..and then another lol

Her

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By *rinking-in-la OP Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"Im sat here chuckling at all the indignation over a coffee

Me too

maybe it's just too early

As the op, I take it all very seriously.

So you should,its a serious matter and its all your fault"

Sorry

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By *ustcutieWoman over a year ago

edinburgh

"Im sat here chuckling at all the indignation over a coffee

Me too

maybe it's just too early

As the op, I take it all very seriously. "

Well I'm disgusted that you've caused all this trauma when I've got to get ready for work and don't have time to follow the thread

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By *rinking-in-la OP Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"I just wanked over the picture of your wifes tits. Thanks. "

We are not married.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Satire is great, but when it misfires, it's not so hot.

Just having put a knowing wink or devil horns at the end would have improved the OP no end.

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By *odareyouMan over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

Feckers the lot of them, they continue to look at my profile as well ,, fabbing my pictures,, wheres the shaky fist emotion

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By *rinking-in-la OP Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"Satire is great, but when it misfires, it's not so hot.

Just having put a knowing wink or devil horns at the end would have improved the OP no end.

It did not misfire. Devil horns or the like would have neutered the satire and irony.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

"Satire is great, but when it misfires, it's not so hot.

Just having put a knowing wink or devil horns at the end would have improved the OP no end.

It did not misfire. Devil horns or the like would have neutered the satire and irony."

Having looked at the posts, 80% of people didn't realise it was satirical.

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By *rinking-in-la OP Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"Satire is great, but when it misfires, it's not so hot.

Just having put a knowing wink or devil horns at the end would have improved the OP no end.

It did not misfire. Devil horns or the like would have neutered the satire and irony.

Having looked at the posts, 80% of people didn't realise it was satirical. "

80 percent of respondents not people. That is different

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

weirdly I get the same problem when being cheeky,or making a ridiculous joke...

I dont add the emoticons

perhaps...just perhaps, some of us can see how language is used..and dont have to rely on a smiley face.

quite sad, when you even read the OPs responses...that get more twatty as they increase...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Strange your verfication is by a man

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

It's the fucking couples I hate. Shit heads.

Stare stare stare at my profile with my lovely bottom and winning smile. I just want an uncluttered 'looked at me' page is it too much to fucking ask?

I'm really fucked off now. SHIT!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Because you put forum posts up like this so curiosity gets the better of us simple single men

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By *orset manMan over a year ago

Bournemouth

I sent you a wink for the fun of it-

ridiculous post- how do I know you do not want attention from single men, without looking?.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's the fucking couples I hate. Shit heads.

Stare stare stare at my profile with my lovely bottom and winning smile. I just want an uncluttered 'looked at me' page is it too much to fucking ask?

I'm really fucked off now. SHIT!

Im going to look ALL day now.....in stealth to really wind you up,you won't have a clue when I could be perving!

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By *rinking-in-la OP Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"weirdly I get the same problem when being cheeky,or making a ridiculous joke...

I dont add the emoticons

perhaps...just perhaps, some of us can see how language is used..and dont have to rely on a smiley face.

quite sad, when you even read the OPs responses...that get more twatty as they increase..."

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

"It's the fucking couples I hate. Shit heads.

Stare stare stare at my profile with my lovely bottom and winning smile. I just want an uncluttered 'looked at me' page is it too much to fucking ask?

I'm really fucked off now. SHIT!

Im going to look ALL day now.....in stealth to really wind you up,you won't have a clue when I could be perving!

AAAAAHHHHHGHGGGGGG!!!

*blood vessel in temple bursts*

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Oh dear deity.

Some of us got it, OP. To me it was clearly meant as humour.

I've made a note that it's Take Everything Very Seriously Day in here though

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"It's the fucking couples I hate. Shit heads.

Stare stare stare at my profile with my lovely bottom and winning smile. I just want an uncluttered 'looked at me' page is it too much to fucking ask?

I'm really fucked off now. SHIT!

Im going to look ALL day now.....in stealth to really wind you up,you won't have a clue when I could be perving!

AAAAAHHHHHGHGGGGGG!!!

*blood vessel in temple bursts*"

I do that every day

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Really ....

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

"It's the fucking couples I hate. Shit heads.

Stare stare stare at my profile with my lovely bottom and winning smile. I just want an uncluttered 'looked at me' page is it too much to fucking ask?

I'm really fucked off now. SHIT!

Im going to look ALL day now.....in stealth to really wind you up,you won't have a clue when I could be perving!

AAAAAHHHHHGHGGGGGG!!!

*blood vessel in temple bursts*

I do that every day

Single fem yo. Shit is allowed. It's those fucking couples. Seriously don't get me started I'm fuming.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your profile doesn't say..... Not looking for single men....maybe you should sort your profile properly before you pontificate anymore.

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"It's the fucking couples I hate. Shit heads.

Stare stare stare at my profile with my lovely bottom and winning smile. I just want an uncluttered 'looked at me' page is it too much to fucking ask?

I'm really fucked off now. SHIT!

Im going to look ALL day now.....in stealth to really wind you up,you won't have a clue when I could be perving!

AAAAAHHHHHGHGGGGGG!!!

*blood vessel in temple bursts*

I do that every day

Single fem yo. Shit is allowed. It's those fucking couples. Seriously don't get me started I'm fuming."

I'm actually a hairy trucker called Bob pretending to be a couple pretending to be a single fem.

I gots issues

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

"It's the fucking couples I hate. Shit heads.

Stare stare stare at my profile with my lovely bottom and winning smile. I just want an uncluttered 'looked at me' page is it too much to fucking ask?

I'm really fucked off now. SHIT!

Im going to look ALL day now.....in stealth to really wind you up,you won't have a clue when I could be perving!

AAAAAHHHHHGHGGGGGG!!!

*blood vessel in temple bursts*

I do that every day

Single fem yo. Shit is allowed. It's those fucking couples. Seriously don't get me started I'm fuming.

I'm actually a hairy trucker called Bob pretending to be a couple pretending to be a single fem.

I gots issues

*faps*

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By *rinking-in-la OP Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"Your profile doesn't say..... Not looking for single men....maybe you should sort your profile properly before you pontificate anymore."

Have a cake

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's the fucking couples I hate. Shit heads.

Stare stare stare at my profile with my lovely bottom and winning smile. I just want an uncluttered 'looked at me' page is it too much to fucking ask?

I'm really fucked off now. SHIT!

Im going to look ALL day now.....in stealth to really wind you up,you won't have a clue when I could be perving!

AAAAAHHHHHGHGGGGGG!!!

*blood vessel in temple bursts*

I do that every day

Single fem yo. Shit is allowed. It's those fucking couples. Seriously don't get me started I'm fuming."

I might be looking at your bum right now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is the weirdest look at me thread ever, of course I looked

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oh dear deity.

Some of us got it, OP. To me it was clearly meant as humour.

I've made a note that it's Take Everything Very Seriously Day in here though

It is 'anything can happen Rant Thursday'.

Maybe thats the key to all this - posted on any other day, there would have been a opportunity for more irony, but as its 'Rant Thursday' then its automatically given 'Rant' status. I therefore blame this entire misunderstanding squarely at the feet of Robert Downey Junior.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Your profile doesn't say..... Not looking for single men....maybe you should sort your profile properly before you pontificate anymore.

Have a cake"

pontificate

verb

p?n't?f?ke?t/

express one's opinions in a pompous and dogmatic way.

"he was pontificating about art and history"

synonyms: hold forth, expound, declaim, preach, lay down the law, express one's opinion (pompously), sound off, spout (off), dogmatize, sermonize, moralize, pronounce, lecture, expatiate; More

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I just wanked over the picture of your wifes tits. Thanks.

We are not married. "

Disgusting. Unmarried people having sex. Makes me feel right creeped out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Your profile doesn't say..... Not looking for single men....maybe you should sort your profile properly before you pontificate anymore.

Have a cake"

A pontificake

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

how are they gonna know not to look before theyve looked lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

pontificake

verb

pon'tIfIcake/

express one's love of baked sweet goods in a earnest and prolific way.

"he was pontificaking about buns and Battenburg"

synonyms: hold fork, expand (waistline), de-cake (is awesome), preach (about cake), lay down the cake, express one's love (of cake).....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

public photos are just that you cant stand naked in you front window with a sign saying single men don't look !! Its the same here anything that you don't want everyone to see make friends only ir private its up to you what you make available but you profile and public pics are open to everyone sort yourself out and then whinge if you want to lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"pontificake

verb

pon'tIfIcake/

express one's love of baked sweet goods in a earnest and prolific way.

"he was pontificaking about buns and Battenburg"

synonyms: hold fork, expand (waistline), de-cake (is awesome), preach (about cake), lay down the cake, express one's love (of cake)....."

So funny...

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"how are they gonna know not to look before theyve looked lol

psssst the thread is taking the piss out of those who rant about being looked at by men.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"how are they gonna know not to look before theyve looked lol

psssst the thread is taking the piss out of those who rant about being looked at by men.

i missed that

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Forum Service Announcement: This is a joke thread.

Please save your outrage. It's Rant Thursday and it's early yet.

I blame the full moon, myself.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can't actually tell whether this is serious or not?!

If you don't want all and sundry looking at your photos then you best not put them on the internet!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whoopsy... Should have read to the end!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Your profile doesn't say..... Not looking for single men....maybe you should sort your profile properly before you pontificate anymore.

Have a cake

A pontificake"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wow they dared to look!!!! Shock horror what indignation. If you use your filters they can't contact you moaning about them looking though is seriously fucked up though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"pontificake

verb

pon'tIfIcake/

express one's love of baked sweet goods in a earnest and prolific way.

"he was pontificaking about buns and Battenburg"

synonyms: hold fork, expand (waistline), de-cake (is awesome), preach (about cake), lay down the cake, express one's love (of cake)....."

Does one use emoticons when pontificaking?

After a particularly unsatisfying macaroon (sorry I just don't get how a macaroon is even marketed as edible) can I get busy with the emotions on offer?

doesn't even begin to express how I feel about the macaroon.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My home made pear, dark chocolate and amaretti cheesecake

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/05/14 09:47:53]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think single males get a hard deal from couples on this site! Personally I'm feeling a whole lotta love for single men! Use the filters block them I'd you don't want them plenty of us ladies do

If that's a veiled way of saying you've found Robert Plant on here, give me his username now......lol

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Forum Service Announcement: This is a joke thread.

Please save your outrage. It's Rant Thursday and it's early yet.

I blame the full moon, myself.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My home made pear, dark chocolate and amaretti cheesecake

OMFGG!! I think one sniff of that and I'd be coming in me pants..I mean panties

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"My home made pear, dark chocolate and amaretti cheesecake

OMFGG!! I think one sniff of that and I'd be coming in me pants..I mean panties

I've just gained 5lbs from reading the words

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why do you care who looks at your profile?!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I know I'm getting past it but aren't jokes meant to be funny?? Pmsl

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My home made pear, dark chocolate and amaretti cheesecake

OMFGG!! I think one sniff of that and I'd be coming in me pants..I mean panties

I've just gained 5lbs from reading the words

I usually gain that making it. Amaretti biscuits, the dark chocolate, eat some cream cheese, drink some double cream and last time I chewed on a vanilla pod.

Nice though when it's done. Mr D cut me a piece and brought it to me in the Coronary Care Unit.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/05/14 10:00:50]

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By *izzy RascallMan over a year ago

Cardiff

Cool head now

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

"My home made pear, dark chocolate and amaretti cheesecake

Just reading that gave me a near sexual twinge, frankly!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are you being serious?!

That's such a big deal? Maybe they thought they were the 'cute playmates' that you are looking for.

...a lot are making mountains out of mole hills lately.

and clearly putting people off meeting them too

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

"Why do single men insist on looking at our profile despite the fact we say clearly that we will find them if we need them? Why must they exploit the pictures we put up there for genuine couples to see for their own mucky ends? "
. .personally i look at certain profiles and photos that calm me down and make me go soft cause as far as i know Ann widicombe isn't on site and your the next best thing. X x X

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I know I'm getting past it but aren't jokes meant to be funny?? Pmsl "

It amused me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"don't they need to look at your profile to see that?exactly

"
Was going to say the same thing.

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I know I'm getting past it but aren't jokes meant to be funny?? Pmsl

It amused me."

Though the outrage and misunderstandings are amusing me more.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do single men insist on looking at our profile despite the fact we say clearly that we will find them if we need them? Why must they exploit the pictures we put up there for genuine couples to see for their own mucky ends? . .personally i look at certain profiles and photos that calm me down and make me go soft cause as far as i know Ann widicombe isn't on site and your the next best thing. X x X"
Ha!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My home made pear, dark chocolate and amaretti cheesecake

Just reading that gave me a near sexual twinge, frankly!

Hmmm only near sexual...it comes with a free pair of shoes or other lady accoutrement like a cat?

That better?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My home made pear, dark chocolate and amaretti cheesecake

OMFGG!! I think one sniff of that and I'd be coming in me pants..I mean panties

I've just gained 5lbs from reading the words

I usually gain that making it. Amaretti biscuits, the dark chocolate, eat some cream cheese, drink some double cream and last time I chewed on a vanilla pod.

Nice though when it's done. Mr D cut me a piece and brought it to me in the Coronary Care Unit."

May I have the recipe? I fancy making this

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I'm thinking this post wasn't entirely serious?

Or I hope so anyway..."

Indeed. Otherwise single men might be drawn to look at the profile and exploit the pictures meant only for genuine couples.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

See how women can turn something around just by mentioning cake

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

if you dont want people looking at your profile pictures make them private

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By *inaTitzTV/TS over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I think I will have to expand the FORUM INSURANCE service to include gags that a lot of people miss

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

eerrrr my wife and I are just wondering if you all should be enjoying sex rather than using these feeds to test each others comedy instincts..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have you actually thought about what you've just said ?? Unless they open your profile how are they to know that you're not interested ?

For God's sake get a grip of yourself and get over it, I've never heard such petty twaddle since the last time I listened to Prime Ministers Question Time.

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By *ENGUYMan over a year ago

Hull

I took a look at this post and wondered if the date had moved to April Fool's day?

Are you having a laugh or are you deadly serious?? If the latter, take a good hard look at what you have asked. You have created a profile at which anyone can view and it does state you will decide if you want to contact single guys.

But it is on the last line of the profile, so anyone reading it will only know at that point regardless if they are single, married, divorced, male or female!

Use filters to block out those you don't want to see you. Otherwise, you can't complain about this happening to you!

Simples!

Logical!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My home made pear, dark chocolate and amaretti cheesecake

OMFGG!! I think one sniff of that and I'd be coming in me pants..I mean panties

I've just gained 5lbs from reading the words

I usually gain that making it. Amaretti biscuits, the dark chocolate, eat some cream cheese, drink some double cream and last time I chewed on a vanilla pod.

Nice though when it's done. Mr D cut me a piece and brought it to me in the Coronary Care Unit.

May I have the recipe? I fancy making this

Course, I'll scribble it down for ya. Not cheap if you don't stock amaretti liquer but we do as Mr D loves it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do single men insist on looking at our profile despite the fact we say clearly that we will find them if we need them?

I'm a single guy, thanks for calling me a bastard.

Question.

How the actual fuck are we supposed to know that you say that on your profile WITHOUT looking at your profile?...

Read the thread. Calm down."

He is just playing the game of the irony

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do single men insist on looking at our profile despite the fact we say clearly that we will find them if we need them?

I'm a single guy, thanks for calling me a bastard.

Question.

How the actual fuck are we supposed to know that you say that on your profile WITHOUT looking at your profile?...

Read the thread. Calm down.

He is just playing the game of the irony

Who's winning?

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By *inaTitzTV/TS over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

"Why do single men insist on looking at our profile despite the fact we say clearly that we will find them if we need them?

I'm a single guy, thanks for calling me a bastard.

Question.

How the actual fuck are we supposed to know that you say that on your profile WITHOUT looking at your profile?...

Read the thread. Calm down.

He is just playing the game of the irony

Who's winning?"

Henning Wehn 4-3

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do single men insist on looking at our profile despite the fact we say clearly that we will find them if we need them?

I'm a single guy, thanks for calling me a bastard.

Question.

How the actual fuck are we supposed to know that you say that on your profile WITHOUT looking at your profile?...

Read the thread. Calm down.

He is just playing the game of the irony

Who's winning?

Henning Wehn 4-3

Even if I didn't understand the words he was saying I'd be laughing. The face, the voice, the fact he's a German comedian......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm still so confused as to what the fuck is going on!

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By *ENGUYMan over a year ago

Hull

"I'm still so confused as to what the fuck is going on!

So was the OP when they started this thread!!

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By *rinking-in-la OP Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"I'm still so confused as to what the fuck is going on!

So was the OP when they started this thread!!

Nope I knew what I was doing and it worked. Much fun has been had and many people have spotted it and many have gotten on their high horse. All fun all round. Everyone relax and enjoy the sun.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are you being serious?!

That's such a big deal? Maybe they thought they were the 'cute playmates' that you are looking for.

...a lot are making mountains out of mole hills lately.

Take that hook out your mouth. Just as well I fish with barbless hooks."

Look at me thread !!! .... Yawn

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hmmm, I thought it was pretty obvious he was joking.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Didnt know it was a crime to look at profiles lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hmmm, I thought it was pretty obvious he was joking.

Me too but some people have different senses of humour,ive taken other things as a joke when its been deadly serious and thats gone down like a fart in a spacesuit

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"fart in a spacesuit

Hey that's my Quote!..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hmmm, I thought it was pretty obvious he was joking.

Me too but some people have different senses of humour,ive taken other things as a joke when its been deadly serious and thats gone down like a fart in a spacesuit

I would think a fart in a spacesuit was pretty serious actually.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Op if you cant deal with it, maibe this aint for you lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hmmm, I thought it was pretty obvious he was joking.

Me too but some people have different senses of humour,ive taken other things as a joke when its been deadly serious and thats gone down like a fart in a spacesuit

I would think a fart in a spacesuit was pretty serious actually.

It is

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Am going to stop breathing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Am going to stop breathing

Do you want a nudge after a while or shall we just leave you?

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

"pontificake

verb

pon'tIfIcake/

express one's love of baked sweet goods in a earnest and prolific way.

"he was pontificaking about buns and Battenburg"

synonyms: hold fork, expand (waistline), de-cake (is awesome), preach (about cake), lay down the cake, express one's love (of cake).....

Does one use emoticons when pontificaking?

After a particularly unsatisfying macaroon (sorry I just don't get how a macaroon is even marketed as edible) can I get busy with the emotions on offer?

doesn't even begin to express how I feel about the macaroon."

I fucking hate macaroons.

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

"eerrrr my wife and I are just wondering if you all should be enjoying sex rather than using these feeds to test each others comedy instincts..

"
. Errr i think I'll stick to the shite comedy thanks very much

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sorry I looked and didn't feel that I needed to fab them or wank over them seen better

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I suppose I better come clean now...

Op, Myself and your partner have been secretly shagging for about 30 or 40 years.. some of us single guys are actually quite loyal and trustworthy

and as a semi-sort of friend, I can only say I've never used any of your shirts n socks..out of respect.Obviously.

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By *uud 4-funMan over a year ago

Dartford

"don't they need to look at your profile to see that?exactly

The bastards should just know."

I guess a friend request so I can have a look at the private one is out of the question....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What about the bastard ones who don't turn up

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Cos its a site for everyone not just couples

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im a bastard single male... wish I wasn't but I can't pull ha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm still so confused as to what the fuck is going on!

So was the OP when they started this thread!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Pontefract cakes, now yer talking.

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By *plankyMan over a year ago

Beeston

Brilliant post, OP!

A single line with so many hooks on it and what a sinker!

I did become concerned at the derogatory references to macaroons in the pontificaking section. That was going a step too far.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And all Ernie had to offer was a pint of milk a day, poor Ernie.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Brilliant post, OP!

A single line with so many hooks on it and what a sinker!

I did become concerned at the derogatory references to macaroons in the pontificaking section. That was going a step too far.

How dare you, the macaroon comes straight from Beelzebub's kitchen. Vile, evil little bastards.

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Pontefract cakes, now yer talking.

Pomfret is the way to go

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By *rinking-in-la OP Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"Op if you cant deal with it, maibe this aint for you lol."

Seriously pal, read the thread.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Op if you cant deal with it, maibe this aint for you lol.

Seriously pal, read the thread."
lol I know, but as single men look at ur profile they dont know before hand u dont look for them so its pretty imposible for them to know that they shoulddnt look at the profile lol.

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By *rinking-in-la OP Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"Op if you cant deal with it, maibe this aint for you lol.

Seriously pal, read the thread.lol I know, but as single men look at ur profile they dont know before hand u dont look for them so its pretty imposible for them to know that they shoulddnt look at the profile lol.

So you read the thread and still took it seriously?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Op if you cant deal with it, maibe this aint for you lol.

So you read the thread and still took it seriously?"
No, I didnt, but we single men are used to lol.

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

....Breaking News......Ya can still look at superram's profile though

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By *rinking-in-la OP Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"I suppose I better come clean now...

Op, Myself and your partner have been secretly shagging for about 30 or 40 years.. some of us single guys are actually quite loyal and trustworthy

and as a semi-sort of friend, I can only say I've never used any of your shirts n socks..out of respect.Obviously."

Aw man, you have been shagging her since before she was born.

That is a fair admission. You probably want to get a job at the bbc?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"....Breaking News......Ya can still look at superram's profile though

Too late lol

It's impressive, the kind of profile i've been looking for for yonks

Mind if i ste.. er borrow it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are you being serious?!

That's such a big deal? Maybe they thought they were the 'cute playmates' that you are looking for.

...a lot are making mountains out of mole hills lately.

Take that hook out your mouth. Just as well I fish with barbless hooks.

So a troll then.

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