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15 rules women folk must learn during the world cup
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By *eavenNhell OP Couple
over a year ago
carrbrook stalybridge |
1) If i catch you saying Cristiano Ronaldo is hot, you will automaticaly get a smack on the chin.
2) During the World Cup the television is mine. At all times without any exceptions. Eastenders, Hollyoaks and Corrie can all get to Fuck. Go keep the bed warm for me.
3) I will most likely have a bet on. So if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, Don't dare say:
It's only a game
Get over it
They will win next time.
This will only result in a break up or a divorce.
4) Most importantly, making love is out of the question during the entire month. Except from in between matches. If i fall asleep and miss a match.. this will lead to again a divorce or a break up.
5) The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them already. I want to see them again.
6) Make sure you are taking note.
7) Tell your friends NOT to have any parties or gatherings that will require my attendance.
a) I will cuss at you.
b) You will sleep on the sofa.
c) I just will not go
8) However, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Saturday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
9) The World Cup is not a cheesy excuse for us to spend time together. You are welcome to watch one game with me, only one game and you must keep silent during it. except from half time and during commercials
10) Men are ammune to the words "Thank god the world cup is only every 4 years"
After The World Cup comes the:
Champions league
Euro 2012 qualifying
and all the domestic leagues.
11) During The World Cup you can have the remote between 12am and 6am.
12) The Referee is always a wanker.
13) If you here me scream your name be ready to:
Grab me a drink.
Grab me a snack.
Get me new batteries for the remote.
You will not be needed for anything else.
14) During the game I will not be able to hear or see you.
Your job is to make sure there is some beer in the fridge.
15) Don't ask what the offside rule is. This will result in anther smack on the chin and also another for not being in the room keeping the bed warm.
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Only rule in my house is............
ABSOLUTELY NO FOOTBALL ALLOWED  "
This. Plus nobody, NOBODY, makes rules for me in my home. Especially if they involve fetching drinks and snacks on demand. |
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Well ladies, we are planning on having a football widows event during the England matches where Amour will be a football free zone!
There will be a buffet & a few carefully chosen gentleman who put pleasing ladies above football, hopefully a stripper or two also.
Keep an eye on out updates
Amour xx |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
Fuck these rules. There are 3 blokes living in my house yet I'm the only person there who actually likes football (and yes, I do know and can explain the offside rule; you don't need a penis to be able to understand it). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My favourite topic in a forum well done and well written op love it lol.
Oh and just for the record ladies sex is on the menu but please understand my head will be tilted 45 degrees to watch the match. Ladies just bounce on it and think of ENGLAND it's a win win situation. We kicked Peru arse bwhahahahahaha come on England can't wait for the battle to commence  |
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"Fuck these rules. There are 3 blokes living in my house yet I'm the only person there who actually likes football (and yes, I do know and can explain the offside rule; you don't need a penis to be able to understand it)."
if there is an attacking penis (ap) closer to the goal than a defending penis (dp) when the ball is passed forward to the ap . then the pass is considered offside .. so its time for dp .... to take a free kick .. if a dispute cant be settled either way the ref can choose a free bal (fb) if an injury stops play the ref can add extra time ..(mmf) minutes more football
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can't wait for it should be a great summer.
Wish people would stop moaning about it,if you don't like it then don't watch it. 
We wont be  "
Good for you feel free to go and comment on other things you have no interest in.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can't wait for it should be a great summer.
Wish people would stop moaning about it,if you don't like it then don't watch it. "
not liking the time difference though. Can't watch it in the pub  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fuck these rules. There are 3 blokes living in my house yet I'm the only person there who actually likes football (and yes, I do know and can explain the offside rule; you don't need a penis to be able to understand it).if there is an attacking penis (ap) closer to the goal than a defending penis (dp) when the ball is passed forward to the ap . then the pass is considered offside .. so its time for dp .... to take a free kick .. if a dispute cant be settled either way the ref can choose a free bal (fb) if an injury stops play the ref can add extra time ..(mmf) minutes more football"
Perfect explanation all us ladies will get it now 
Please note I already understood it as I am amazing even though I don't like football  |
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Football?! Just a load of men running around some grass , chasing a lump of leather... And people pay to watch, oh and ding silly songs!
( gonna get my tin man attire on right now! Where's Dorothy?! Lmfao)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can't wait for it should be a great summer.
Wish people would stop moaning about it,if you don't like it then don't watch it.
not liking the time difference though. Can't watch it in the pub "
I should think most will stay open,I no the one im going to is |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ahh , the joys of being single
Also , any man wanting to come into my life and make rules gets disqualified, and leaves holding a very sore pair of balls |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can't wait for it should be a great summer.
Wish people would stop moaning about it,if you don't like it then don't watch it.
We wont be
Good for you feel free to go and comment on other things you have no interest in. "
I can comment on what i like.........or dont like
so ner ner |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can't wait for it should be a great summer.
Wish people would stop moaning about it,if you don't like it then don't watch it.
not liking the time difference though. Can't watch it in the pub "
Pubs have an extension for the late games
Gimp
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"......
9) ... you must keep silent during it. except from half time and during commercials
"
Gotta clarify this rule.... surely you mean we are NOT allowed to talk over the half-time game analysis? Blow jobs to be performed during the commercial breaks ONLY, and if we can't finish you off in 4 mins, then we have to come back at the next commercial break and try again 
Also gotta clarify olovingman's definition of the offside rule.... surely (when the ball is played forward) there should be TWO dps (defending penises) between the ap (attacking penis) and the goal? One of the dps MAY be the dpg (defending penis goalkeeper) but does not necessarily have to be?
Now, who wants a beer and pizza delivered naked to my sofa? |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
"......
9) ... you must keep silent during it. except from half time and during commercials
Gotta clarify this rule.... surely you mean we are NOT allowed to talk over the half-time game analysis? Blow jobs to be performed during the commercial breaks ONLY, and if we can't finish you off in 4 mins, then we have to come back at the next commercial break and try again
Also gotta clarify olovingman's definition of the offside rule.... surely (when the ball is played forward) there should be TWO dps (defending penises) between the ap (attacking penis) and the goal? One of the dps MAY be the dpg (defending penis goalkeeper) but does not necessarily have to be?
Now, who wants a beer and pizza delivered naked to my sofa?"
I  you! |
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