FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Things your parents told you when you were young
Things your parents told you when you were young
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *aravancouple OP Man
over a year ago
A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love |
As kids in the back seat of the car being naughty, my dad would put his hand on the ejector button and threaten to send us into space. Years later I discovered what the button on the handbrake was really for.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If I cried I was told "Stop crying or I'll give you something to really cry about"
My Grandad had a grape vine in the garden all the grandchildren were told not to eat the grapes as they give you upset tummies and are bad. Summer after Grandad died, Nan came round with a carrier bag full of grapes and said to mum to have them etc. I over heard this and said, No they will give you bad bellies everyone laughed, this is when I found out Grandad wanted them all to himself so he could make wine.... Grape vine is still there all these years later and I take great pleasure in eating "my Grandads grapes" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
when i was about 10 i asked my mum how do women get pregnant and she said they cuddle each other in the nude, she didnt say that the man puts his cock in a womans pussy.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If I cried I was told "Stop crying or I'll give you something to really cry about"
My Grandad had a grape vine in the garden all the grandchildren were told not to eat the grapes as they give you upset tummies and are bad. Summer after Grandad died, Nan came round with a carrier bag full of grapes and said to mum to have them etc. I over heard this and said, No they will give you bad bellies everyone laughed, this is when I found out Grandad wanted them all to himself so he could make wine.... Grape vine is still there all these years later and I take great pleasure in eating "my Grandads grapes" "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That blind summits were little creatures with bright pink hair and big goofy teeth.
Obviously I told my kids too but I think telling outrageous lies to your children is the best part of being a parent . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aravancouple OP Man
over a year ago
A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love |
"If I cried I was told "Stop crying or I'll give you something to really cry about"
My Grandad had a grape vine in the garden all the grandchildren were told not to eat the grapes as they give you upset tummies and are bad. Summer after Grandad died, Nan came round with a carrier bag full of grapes and said to mum to have them etc. I over heard this and said, No they will give you bad bellies everyone laughed, this is when I found out Grandad wanted them all to himself so he could make wine.... Grape vine is still there all these years later and I take great pleasure in eating "my Grandads grapes" "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
To stop twiddling with it or it would fall off - still twiddle and I've still got it
And, if I swallowed apple pips then an apple tree would grow in my stomach - so I'd swallow them just to see :p |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My dads favourite saying:
I'm older than you,
Wiser than you
And know more than you.
Definitely not the last two though, was dumb enough to not hide his porn collection from me, I got caught with it at school, asked where I got it from I dropped him in the shit! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
My mother's favourite was, "Make sure you have clean underwear on when you out in case you get knocked down by a bus!"
My thinking was: A) there were no local bus routes, & B) in any such accident, usually one wets or shits themselves due to shock etc, etc!
Nope! Mum knew best and told me I had no idea at all!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We told our kids when they were toddlers that the red light that came on in the house alarm PIR Sensors in every room was Santa keeping an eye on them to make sure they were being good for their Christmas prezzies.
It worked a treat for years. But I don't know if it will have long term "Big Brother" damaging effect on them
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Don't put things in your mouth if you can't be sure where it's been..... If only she knew lol.
Don't swallow apple pips or tree would grow
And if some one said.. We'll see then it always meant no! Lol  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
i found my mums Dildoo and brought it downstairs when her friends were in and asked mum why she had a big rocket thing?. . and her friends all with young babies wet themselves as one shouted it takes your mum to the moon and back |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
To save all my birthday& chridtmas money, everything I earned from my part time jobs.
We'd go to the post office to put it in regularly.
When I was 16 I got a full time job , paid my rent and saved the rest.
When I was 17 I bought my first car. I asked for my post office book only to find my account contained only a few pounds.
Her explanation; apparently I bought all my own school uniform and shoes.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"To save all my birthday& chridtmas money, everything I earned from my part time jobs.
We'd go to the post office to put it in regularly.
When I was 16 I got a full time job , paid my rent and saved the rest.
When I was 17 I bought my first car. I asked for my post office book only to find my account contained only a few pounds.
Her explanation; apparently I bought all my own school uniform and shoes. "
Did you not keep a track of your post-office book ?? watching it go up in value ??  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We had to account for all chewing gum, because when swallowed it somehow managed to unravel and twist inside your body. I swallowed bits to disprove this. I still wonder if it is still inside, unravelling. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"That if you picked your nose, your head would cave in.
That's the one.. 2..
We both grew up with that one - But Never had to tell our kids that for some reason.. "
we got told that as well. Also if you put anything in your belly button that your bum would fall off
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My friends dad told him that he killed all the dinosaurs from a tank when he was in the army. He only found out that this was a lie when his teacher asked "does anyone know why the dinosaurs died out?"..... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nigmatic1Woman
over a year ago
A seaside town near you! |
"That if you picked your nose, your head would cave in.
That's the one.. 2..
We both grew up with that one - But Never had to tell our kids that for some reason.. we got told that as well. Also if you put anything in your belly button that your bum would fall off
"
For crying out loud I burst out laughing at that one then and scared the dog hahahahahaha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"when i was about 10 i asked my mum how do women get pregnant and she said they cuddle each other in the nude, she didnt say that the man puts his cock in a womans pussy.
"
That reminded me, when I was 7 we moved house and our new next door neighbour was pregnant.
Being me, I didn't ask how the baby got there. I wanted to know how it was decided whether it would be a boy baby or a girl baby. And thus mum taught me, aged 7, genetics.
That's pretty much typical of me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To save all my birthday& chridtmas money, everything I earned from my part time jobs.
We'd go to the post office to put it in regularly.
When I was 16 I got a full time job , paid my rent and saved the rest.
When I was 17 I bought my first car. I asked for my post office book only to find my account contained only a few pounds.
Her explanation; apparently I bought all my own school uniform and shoes.
Did you not keep a track of your post-office book ?? watching it go up in value ?? "
Nope. Mother held onto it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
My nan had a saying
"all girls should wear skirts" when my sisters asked why
"girls can run with their skirts up, boys cant run with their trousers down"
gramp used to say to the boys "if your not in bed by midnight, go home" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Gran said "never trust a man with testicles"
And
If you swallow chewy (gum) it will wrap round your heart and kill you
Plus
keep your hand on your ha'penny ... I did.. im surprised i leave the house
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That if you picked your nose, your head would cave in.
That's the one.. 2..
We both grew up with that one - But Never had to tell our kids that for some reason.. we got told that as well. Also if you put anything in your belly button that your bum would fall off
"
Lmfao love it! Same here |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" mum" Look after your pennies and your pounds will look after themselves! "Grandad" always save something for your pension because the government will leave you to rot |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"i found my mums Dildoo and brought it downstairs when her friends were in and asked mum why she had a big rocket thing?. . and her friends all with young babies wet themselves as one shouted it takes your mum to the moon and back "
Pmsl |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When I was in school we did sex education. They suggested we talk to our family about where children came from.
I asked mum and she said they picked them up from hospital where they are made. Grandma said they were delivered by storks. Great grandma said they were found under gooseberry bushes.
My essay started "There has been no sexual intercourse in my family for three generations" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
Gimp