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Dating for swingers.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It's hard isn't it?
I can't read the signs anyway if someone likes me or not or what it is they want. Had a 'date' this other day and now it's leaving me a bit out of whack as to what it is she wants..
I've been out of the dating scene for a while anyway. But, fuck me. It's hard work working out what's happening.
...needed to get that off my chest. Received a call which left me a bit  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never understood it pre-swinging so I've no fecking chance now!! I don't do games, so it seems I started at a disadvantage whenever I did attempt it...all I can suggest is be honest with her and yourself and if it's meant to be then (hopefully!) it will be |
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I've had a couple of vanilla dates lately. Much scarier than fab and all the time you're thinking I really need to know what she's like between the sheets cos I dont want to spend a month getting to know her to find out she wears flannel Jim jams and turns the lights off. And you can't ask if they like it doggy over a frappelattecino in Starbucks!  |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
I can count on my fingers, not including my thumbs, how many dates I've been on. The last one was in 2003.
I'm rubbish at dating.
I'm going to die alone, and be found half eaten by a German Shepherd dog. Except I don't have a German Shepherd dog.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can count on my fingers, not including my thumbs, how many dates I've been on. The last one was in 2003.
I'm rubbish at dating.
I'm going to die alone, and be found half eaten by a German Shepherd dog. Except I don't have a German Shepherd dog. "
Ha ha I've came to terms with that too. I'm destined to always just have man friends and cats..... Lots of cats  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Last time i must have gone on dates was when love letters were the craze
...nah, but in all seriousness. What's with the mixed messages? I'm losing sleep over this. And have work at 6, finishing after 15 hours!
I've been happy and content with having fbs/fwbs. Get everything of a relationship without the title. Don't think i can do relationships - i don't need the drama.
Got no hair on my head anyway, going to end up losing the hair off my eyebrows at this rate.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Does she appear keen when you speak pops.
How do you feel?
It shouldnt feel awkward.
Mind you last date i went on was over 20 years ago. I sucked his t shirt coz i split a bit of drink on it. Been together ever since xx |
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I steer well clear of the dating thing. I tried it, I don't like it.
I was sat in a coffee shop with him commenting about women as they walked past us, 'doesn't she look cheap', 'god look at the state of that', I was thinking to myself 'should I tell him I was once gangbanged by 10 blokes and was airtight?' Turns out I didn't actually think it, I said it!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I steer well clear of the dating thing. I tried it, I don't like it.
I was sat in a coffee shop with him commenting about women as they walked past us, 'doesn't she look cheap', 'god look at the state of that', I was thinking to myself 'should I tell him I was once gangbanged by 10 blokes and was airtight?' Turns out I didn't actually think it, I said it!!! "
Ha ha good girl. I love this too much. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had a couple of vanilla dates lately. Much scarier than fab and all the time you're thinking I really need to know what she's like between the sheets cos I dont want to spend a month getting to know her to find out she wears flannel Jim jams and turns the lights off. And you can't ask if they like it doggy over a frappelattecino in Starbucks! "
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I've had a couple of vanilla dates lately. Much scarier than fab and all the time you're thinking I really need to know what she's like between the sheets cos I dont want to spend a month getting to know her to find out she wears flannel Jim jams and turns the lights off. And you can't ask if they like it doggy over a frappelattecino in Starbucks! "
You can't? Perhaps this is why my few dates have been failures... |
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"I steer well clear of the dating thing. I tried it, I don't like it.
I was sat in a coffee shop with him commenting about women as they walked past us, 'doesn't she look cheap', 'god look at the state of that', I was thinking to myself 'should I tell him I was once gangbanged by 10 blokes and was airtight?' Turns out I didn't actually think it, I said it!!! "
Awesome what did he say to that lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had a couple of vanilla dates lately. Much scarier than fab and all the time you're thinking I really need to know what she's like between the sheets cos I dont want to spend a month getting to know her to find out she wears flannel Jim jams and turns the lights off. And you can't ask if they like it doggy over a frappelattecino in Starbucks!
You can't? Perhaps this is why my few dates have been failures... "
Ha ha mine too . I'm not the kind of girl you date. |
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"I've had a couple of vanilla dates lately. Much scarier than fab and all the time you're thinking I really need to know what she's like between the sheets cos I dont want to spend a month getting to know her to find out she wears flannel Jim jams and turns the lights off. And you can't ask if they like it doggy over a frappelattecino in Starbucks!
You can't? Perhaps this is why my few dates have been failures...
Ha ha mine too . I'm not the kind of girl you date. "
So I have read ur. Profile why r u not the kind of lady a guy would date? X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I steer well clear of the dating thing. I tried it, I don't like it.
I was sat in a coffee shop with him commenting about women as they walked past us, 'doesn't she look cheap', 'god look at the state of that', I was thinking to myself 'should I tell him I was once gangbanged by 10 blokes and was airtight?' Turns out I didn't actually think it, I said it!!! "
Ha ha love it ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can count on my fingers, not including my thumbs, how many dates I've been on. The last one was in 2003.
I'm rubbish at dating.
I'm going to die alone, and be found half eaten by a German Shepherd dog. Except I don't have a German Shepherd dog. "
same here except I shall be eaten by my cats |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
"I can count on my fingers, not including my thumbs, how many dates I've been on. The last one was in 2003.
I'm rubbish at dating.
I'm going to die alone, and be found half eaten by a German Shepherd dog. Except I don't have a German Shepherd dog.
Ha ha I've came to terms with that too. I'm destined to always just have man friends and cats..... Lots of cats "
I have accepted with good grace that I am destined to become a mad old cat lady with crazy hair. I'm already part of the way there.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can count on my fingers, not including my thumbs, how many dates I've been on. The last one was in 2003.
I'm rubbish at dating.
I'm going to die alone, and be found half eaten by a German Shepherd dog. Except I don't have a German Shepherd dog.
Ha ha I've came to terms with that too. I'm destined to always just have man friends and cats..... Lots of cats
I have accepted with good grace that I am destined to become a mad old cat lady with crazy hair. I'm already part of the way there. "
i doubt that very much x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I steer well clear of the dating thing. I tried it, I don't like it.
I was sat in a coffee shop with him commenting about women as they walked past us, 'doesn't she look cheap', 'god look at the state of that', I was thinking to myself 'should I tell him I was once gangbanged by 10 blokes and was airtight?' Turns out I didn't actually think it, I said it!!! "
Love it!! This made me spit my coffee out. Hilarious! I've recently meet someone and am struggling to move from mate to something a bit more mode. Don't even think about how the sex is going to be. He's a bit shy and conservative. (Fighting back the urge to say - so what you into/what's your kink) I am rubbish at vanilla dating |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's definitely a problem.
I'm also on a dating site, and I am looking for a relationship. But it's dating is hard enough, but like you guys mentioned, at what point do you ask "are you bi, do you like swinging clubs, and do you like gangbangs?"
Most ladies on vanilla dating site run a mile even if you just mention sex!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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oh goodness, the 'd word'!
pops, it's hard to gauge what is happening because you're a little vague. you mention mixed messages, but don't really say what is going on. we ladies may be able to shed some light, if we know more..... but every woman is different. it's possible she's following one of those 'dating advice' type things that are really crap. or it's possible she doesn't really know what she wants, yet.
i suck at dating. basically, if a guy isn't specific.... like spelling it out in crayon..... i don't even realise hes interested or wants a date. I've had guys ask me out before and not even realised it for hours after! much to the amusement of friends.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmmm I think people take dating far too seriously these days, either that or I've just been hanging around here too long.
Forget the 'd' word and just go and have fun. If you get on well you should be able to tell if it has potential, no?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I were you I would put sex to the back of my mind for now. You want a girlfriend,not a sexual experience. Take things slow,get to know her and she might let you know what she likes without being asked. She could be worried about telling you what she likes in bed in case you think she's not normal. Or she could be a lay back and think of England woman who wants someone like you to bring out more in her. You won't know until you get to know her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Ha ha I've came to terms with that too. I'm destined to always just have man friends and cats..... Lots of cats
I have accepted with good grace that I am destined to become a mad old cat lady with crazy hair. I'm already part of the way there. "
Me too, crazy old cat lady |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmmm I think people take dating far too seriously these days, either that or I've just been hanging around here too long.
Forget the 'd' word and just go and have fun. If you get on well you should be able to tell if it has potential, no?
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmmm I think people take dating far too seriously these days, either that or I've just been hanging around here too long.
Forget the 'd' word and just go and have fun. If you get on well you should be able to tell if it has potential, no?
"
I've been on exactly 6 dates in my life. each resulted in a relationship. so maybe i do take it seriously because im not looking for a relationship right now. when i go on a date, i just be my bubbly, teasey, flirty, intelligent self. ....... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have not been on a vanilla date for many moons !! On friday I went out with my FB for drinks in london ... I decided there is no way I could date someone who was not into swinging... I found it impossible not to flirt with other men !!! FB found it amusing , even when I could not resist having a feel of one mans arse on the way out, well he had been flirting with me for over an hour or so across the room by eye contact !!! Said man was shocked (mainly coz it was obvious I was out with someone else and we were more than just friends) FB thought it was hilarious and a huge turn on, we giggled all the way to the next bar.... Not sure on a vanilla date that would have gone down quite so well !!!!! |
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I'd just focus on getting to know each other, as you may both need to find out what, if anything, you'd like with each other. It may be romantic, it could simply be sexual - who knows?
Sometimes if we try to squash the balloon into the shape that we want to fit it into, it bursts, as it was better left to be a free form shape. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd just focus on getting to know each other, as you may both need to find out what, if anything, you'd like with each other. It may be romantic, it could simply be sexual - who knows?
Sometimes if we try to squash the balloon into the shape that we want to fit it into, it bursts, as it was better left to be a free form shape."
Yes I think the key is honesty ... If its meant to be it will be !!!! OP talk to the lady .... Don't read between the lines ask her out right ! If you don't get the answers you want then its not meant to be x good luck tho Hx |
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"It's definitely a problem.
I'm also on a dating site, and I am looking for a relationship. But it's dating is hard enough, but like you guys mentioned, at what point do you ask "are you bi, do you like swinging clubs, and do you like gangbangs?"
Most ladies on vanilla dating site run a mile even if you just mention sex!
"
I must be doing something wrong. In the past id mention it on a vanilla date pretty much straight away. Most of my dates talked dirty once in my clutches and when I mentioned swinging bi fun it turned them on more! My personal vanilla meet to bed time has been as low as 15 mins. * -)
Here on fab I mention sex they run a mile and ive often waited nearly a year between dates but often had three vanilla site dates or more a week when I was single ??? Eh?
Lol. ( true)
All my recent ltr girlfriends have swung with me and all were met on vanilla dating sites
confused dot com !
As always love to you all xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I must be doing something wrong. In the past id mention it on a vanilla date pretty much straight away. Most of my dates talked dirty once in my clutches and when I mentioned swinging bi fun it turned them on more! My personal vanilla meet to bed time has been as low as 15 mins. * -)
Here on fab I mention sex they run a mile and ive often waited nearly a year between dates but often had three vanilla site dates or more a week when I was single ??? Eh?
Lol. ( true)
All my recent ltr girlfriends have swung with me and all were met on vanilla dating sites
confused dot com !
As always love to you all xx
"
I have met one lady on here a couple of times who considers this site as a dating site, and won't go anywhere near POF because she says that site is just all about sex. |
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By *wiftieeMan
over a year ago
near Glasgow |
"Forget the 'd' word and just go and have fun. If you get on well you should be able to tell if it has potential, no? "
It's so simple, yet so many on here make it so difficult. 
Meet, and if it's good, meet again; and again, go with the flow and see where it flows to. 
But of course, don't let emotions get in the way, that would never do! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can count on my fingers, not including my thumbs, how many dates I've been on. The last one was in 2003.
I'm rubbish at dating.
I'm going to die alone, and be found half eaten by a German Shepherd dog. Except I don't have a German Shepherd dog.
Ha ha I've came to terms with that too. I'm destined to always just have man friends and cats..... Lots of cats "
Lol same it's far more scary than avin sex for some reason
Another fem chooses the shelf lol  |
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"Hmmm I think people take dating far too seriously these days, either that or I've just been hanging around here too long.
Forget the 'd' word and just go and have fun. If you get on well you should be able to tell if it has potential, no?
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmmm I think people take dating far too seriously these days, either that or I've just been hanging around here too long.
Forget the 'd' word and just go and have fun. If you get on well you should be able to tell if it has potential, no?
"
Spot on. You know if you're getting on with someone, just relax and let it progress at it's own pace. If you find yourself second guessing too much then you're probably pushing just a little too hard.
Chill. |
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"It's too much unnecessary drama for me. I don't like all that. I didn't ask for all the mind fucks.
I'm off to work now. Be back at midnight. "
Relationships should not be all drama pops. Perhaps you are not ready. Do you in fact even want a relationship? |
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"I never understood it pre-swinging so I've no fecking chance now!! I don't do games, so it seems I started at a disadvantage whenever I did attempt it...all I can suggest is be honest with her and yourself and if it's meant to be then (hopefully!) it will be"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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unless she was a swinger too, then your question about dating for swingers doesnt matter.
you are dating as a single bloke, looking for.............?
tbh i have never in my life done the dating thing.
me and my ex were introduced, and me and V met through friends, so have never had to do that stuff, but i would find it a mind fuck if i had to, reading signals, getting hints
im a bloke.
if you want summat, just fekkin say so.
otherwise it just aint gonna happen lol |
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