FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > friends and discretion
friends and discretion
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've just had to remove someone from my friends list because he thought it was acceptable to show my 'friends only' pics to a mate of his who isn't a member. I'm sure this has happened to other people. Am I over-reacting or am I right in feeling this is wrong?! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some people on this site just have no morals  "
Are you implying that people who use a swinging site have no morals? Or that some people ie this particular person has no morals?! |
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"I've just had to remove someone from my friends list because he thought it was acceptable to show my 'friends only' pics to a mate of his who isn't a member. I'm sure this has happened to other people. Am I over-reacting or am I right in feeling this is wrong?! "
I had this. A guy I've known awhile joined fab and messaged me, after I realised who it was and we exchanged a few messages we arranged to meet once he got back from working away. Shortly after that I bumped into his best mate while we were on a night out, he made some comment about me being on 'that site' and 'nice pics' later I found out it was the guy who told him.
Sent him a message saying I no longer wanted to meet him and blocked him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Surely people have more respect for others then to go do that . What was going through that persons head ? Was he aiming for brownie points from his friend ?
Glad that you have removed them from your friends list . I would also block them .
A lot of trust is needed in swinging . They haven't gone the best way of gaining it .
X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Surely people have more respect for others then to go do that . What was going through that persons head ? Was he aiming for brownie points from his friend ?
Glad that you have removed them from your friends list . I would also block them .
A lot of trust is needed in swinging . They haven't gone the best way of gaining it .
X"
I've no idea what he was hoping to achieve! Needless to say he's achieved the likelihood of never meeting me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people on this site just have no morals
Are you implying that people who use a swinging site have no morals? Or that some people ie this particular person has no morals?! "
I was joking sweetie!
Everyone seems a little tetchy today?
I think people on here and from the 'scene' have a lot clearer and honest _iew on their own personal morals standards than anyone else.
I'm a practicing Christian, and yet, I'm on here. No, I wasn't having a pop at anyone on here except the guy in the original post.
This guy was just wrong to share someone's photos without consent. |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
I think sites like this there has to be trust.
If people break that trust, it says a lot more about them then you.
The need to boost self esteem at someone else's expense wouldn't be a friendship I'd encourage. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it probably happens all the time, i met a man a few years ago then found out he wasnt as nice as i thought he was, i said i didnt want to see him again then i had a message from his mate saying he also wanted to see me and so did his friend who i had just said i didnt want to see again, so i blocked them both. |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Some people on this site just have no morals
Are you implying that people who use a swinging site have no morals? Or that some people ie this particular person has no morals?! "
He's not implying anything. He's plainly saying, 'some people on this site'. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some people on this site just have no morals
Are you implying that people who use a swinging site have no morals? Or that some people ie this particular person has no morals?!
He's not implying anything. He's plainly saying, 'some people on this site'. "
Pedant! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think its naive to assume everyone is as honest and trustworthy as you are...if you send intimate pics to complete strangers then you have no control over what happens to them once sent really...whether that is right or wrong...the only person you can 100% trust is yourself...unless of course you are inebriated, horny, and in charge of a phone with whatsapp/kik/instagram and suchlike  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think its naive to assume everyone is as honest and trustworthy as you are...if you send intimate pics to complete strangers then you have no control over what happens to them once sent really...whether that is right or wrong...the only person you can 100% trust is yourself...unless of course you are inebriated, horny, and in charge of a phone with whatsapp/kik/instagram and suchlike "
Fortunately my 'friends only' pics aren't all that intimate. The problem is having someone uninvited having seen my face. As previous posters have said, what if they approach me in the street? They will possibly feel entitled to do so. Ah well, there are some right arseholes in the world. Put it down to experience! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's why I don't show many people pics of me naked and never with my face in them. I've only allowed a couple of men to video me sucking them. One who I have known a long time asked me if it was ok to show a friend. He could have anyway and not said anything |
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"I think its naive to assume everyone is as honest and trustworthy as you are...if you send intimate pics to complete strangers then you have no control over what happens to them once sent really...whether that is right or wrong...the only person you can 100% trust is yourself...unless of course you are inebriated, horny, and in charge of a phone with whatsapp/kik/instagram and suchlike "
Haha quite right. I never send compromising pics now, you have totally no idea where they could end up, especially as we don't really 'know' the people on here (other than in the biblical sense!!).
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've just had to remove someone from my friends list because he thought it was acceptable to show my 'friends only' pics to a mate of his who isn't a member. I'm sure this has happened to other people. Am I over-reacting or am I right in feeling this is wrong?! "
If you give people permission to see them its always a risk for him to do so without asking is a bit crass would we remove someone? I guess we would really and avoid them from that point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've just had to remove someone from my friends list because he thought it was acceptable to show my 'friends only' pics to a mate of his who isn't a member. I'm sure this has happened to other people. Am I over-reacting or am I right in feeling this is wrong?! "
I wouldn't say over reaction I would ask how you found out he had it seems bizarre to tell you if that's what I guess happened. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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He explicitly told me he had shown my friends only pics to a friend and they had laughed about a specific one as I had said it wasn't my boyfriend in the picture. I'm sure they found the fact that I consider myself a swinger and therefore engage in swinging type activitied hilarious?! |
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"Some people on this site just have no morals
Are you implying that people who use a swinging site have no morals? Or that some people ie this particular person has no morals?!
He's not implying anything. He's plainly saying, 'some people on this site'. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a guy show me a vid he took of the night before with a lady from here , he was bragging about her and the sight to others I pretended I didn't know the sight , tried to contact the lady after to warn her but cant as out of age range . |
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By *nigmatic1Woman
over a year ago
A seaside town near you! |
"Surely people have more respect for others then to go do that . What was going through that persons head ? Was he aiming for brownie points from his friend ?
Glad that you have removed them from your friends list . I would also block them .
A lot of trust is needed in swinging . They haven't gone the best way of gaining it .
X"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont have any pics on here I wouldnt like shared with others. No naked, action or pussy pics for me. Those who send a face pic with message and display private stuff in friends or public pics just complete the " jigsaw puzzle" when they send the face pic. My stuff is for _iewing in person only xx |
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"I had a social meet with someone who showed me pics of someone that was on his friends list. He was removed from my list as soon as I got home! "
I've done this. Even if he hadn't shown the picture he was disparaging about the women he'd met from the site.  |
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"I dont have any pics on here I wouldnt like shared with others. No naked, action or pussy pics for me. Those who send a face pic with message and display private stuff in friends or public pics just complete the " jigsaw puzzle" when they send the face pic. My stuff is for _iewing in person only xx "
Haha, yes as I say 'Live performances only!' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont have any pics on here I wouldnt like shared with others. No naked, action or pussy pics for me. Those who send a face pic with message and display private stuff in friends or public pics just complete the " jigsaw puzzle" when they send the face pic. My stuff is for _iewing in person only xx
Haha, yes as I say 'Live performances only!'"
Ha ha !! Im going to use that quote ! Lol xxx |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
I think people do this a lot but are not stupid enough to say they do....me, I wouldn't dream of it, if I found anyone had done this to me, I would just ignore them, people really dislike being ignored. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've just had to remove someone from my friends list because he thought it was acceptable to show my 'friends only' pics to a mate of his who isn't a member. I'm sure this has happened to other people. Am I over-reacting or am I right in feeling this is wrong?! "
It begs the question why did he tell you ?
The fact he thought you'd be cool with it is, to me, more disrespectful than the actual act and shows his true opinion of the women who use this site. |
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Ive learned a few things about the odd user that has deterred me from them. It is disappointing that this guy did this, and I hope we all re_iew our friends list as a result. Lists can build up, maybe just people who like to keep looking at your pics - or sharing them. Alot of invites have no intention of meeting, it is curiosity and intrusive delving into our privacy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a guy show me a vid he took of the night before with a lady from here , he was bragging about her and the sight to others I pretended I didn't know the sight , tried to contact the lady after to warn her but cant as out of age range ."
I guess that's the difference between single male swingers and guys on here looking for sex. I know that might sound like the same thing, but there is a difference |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"I think its naive to assume everyone is as honest and trustworthy as you are...if you send intimate pics to complete strangers then you have no control over what happens to them once sent really...whether that is right or wrong...the only person you can 100% trust is yourself...unless of course you are inebriated, horny, and in charge of a phone with whatsapp/kik/instagram and suchlike
Fortunately my 'friends only' pics aren't all that intimate. The problem is having someone uninvited having seen my face. As previous posters have said, what if they approach me in the street? They will possibly feel entitled to do so. Ah well, there are some right arseholes in the world. Put it down to experience!"
The only people who are on my friends list are people I have met. And I never put my face pics anywhere but private. I send those only in messages. So even if I inadvertently accepted a friend request they would not be able to see my face. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think people do this a lot but are not stupid enough to say they do....me, I wouldn't dream of it, if I found anyone had done this to me, I would just ignore them, people really dislike being ignored."
Yes people do it a lot but are not stupid enough to say they do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Since I found out that a bloke I met had downloaded all my pics onto his phone and regularly wanked over them I have been much more circumspect with the pics on my profile. Was very creepy and made me think that he's probably not the only one, yuck!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Basically happened to us to, we only accept friends invites after meets and then only if we feel we've clicked and we'd like to meet up again. We also never play to near home as everyone seems to know everyone around here.
So was very shocked when a guy we'd turned down for being to close said he'd said he'd say hi next time he saw me walking grankids to school, thought it was a bluff but he named the school and described what I look like. He said he'd seen our pics when someone had left their profile open!! Yeah right, but think we worked out who it was and they soon got taken off our friends list. It's horrible knowing someone local knows who we are but we have no idea who he is
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Basically happened to us to, we only accept friends invites after meets and then only if we feel we've clicked and we'd like to meet up again. We also never play to near home as everyone seems to know everyone around here.
So was very shocked when a guy we'd turned down for being to close said he'd said he'd say hi next time he saw me walking grankids to school, thought it was a bluff but he named the school and described what I look like. He said he'd seen our pics when someone had left their profile open!! Yeah right, but think we worked out who it was and they soon got taken off our friends list. It's horrible knowing someone local knows who we are but we have no idea who he is
"
That is indeed horrible! I hope he doesn't make himself known to you in public! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since I found out that a bloke I met had downloaded all my pics onto his phone and regularly wanked over them I have been much more circumspect with the pics on my profile. Was very creepy and made me think that he's probably not the only one, yuck! "
He won't be the only one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Basically happened to us to, we only accept friends invites after meets and then only if we feel we've clicked and we'd like to meet up again. We also never play to near home as everyone seems to know everyone around here.
So was very shocked when a guy we'd turned down for being to close said he'd said he'd say hi next time he saw me walking grankids to school, thought it was a bluff but he named the school and described what I look like. He said he'd seen our pics when someone had left their profile open!! Yeah right, but think we worked out who it was and they soon got taken off our friends list. It's horrible knowing someone local knows who we are but we have no idea who he is
That is indeed horrible! I hope he doesn't make himself known to you in public! "
Must admit, when Andy told him how worried I was, he swore he wouldn't say anything and he hasn't. I'm always looking around the playground though wondering who exactly he is. |
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"I've just had to remove someone from my friends list because he thought it was acceptable to show my 'friends only' pics to a mate of his who isn't a member. I'm sure this has happened to other people. Am I over-reacting or am I right in feeling this is wrong?! "
It's completely out of order! |
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Some people dont have any discretion or tact or any values. That is not just in swinging but also in life. I have been ridiculed and harassed in work due to someone finding me on Fab. They didnt have the tact to come and talk to me but proceeded to tell nearly everyone in work. I am wondering if it is someone on here so am also more cautious about sorting out a meet as my confidence has taken a knock after it all.
I have ignored the comments and jibes thrown at me over the last month and it seems to have worked as it is all quietening down |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since I found out that a bloke I met had downloaded all my pics onto his phone and regularly wanked over them I have been much more circumspect with the pics on my profile. Was very creepy and made me think that he's probably not the only one, yuck! "
To be honest I'm a bit confused by this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since I found out that a bloke I met had downloaded all my pics onto his phone and regularly wanked over them I have been much more circumspect with the pics on my profile. Was very creepy and made me think that he's probably not the only one, yuck!
To be honest I'm a bit confused by this."
What's confusing? Thought it was pretty clearly written actually. I hadn't realised that men could even download my pics onto their phone before this and now I know they do I don't post explicit pics because I don't want someone showing them around or wanking over them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What's confusing to me is that having put public photos onto a sex site, I don't care in any way if people wank off over them. In fact I might be quite pleased! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since I found out that a bloke I met had downloaded all my pics onto his phone and regularly wanked over them I have been much more circumspect with the pics on my profile. Was very creepy and made me think that he's probably not the only one, yuck!
To be honest I'm a bit confused by this.
What's confusing? Thought it was pretty clearly written actually. I hadn't realised that men could even download my pics onto their phone before this and now I know they do I don't post explicit pics because I don't want someone showing them around or wanking over them."
me as the fem looks at some of the women here alot of times - in fact used to keep one on hotlist we had no chance of meeting purely to perv/fantasise over - surely you dont think people her just look and go oh they look ok wonder if they want a coffee |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Initially you would think it's wrong but consider :
1) an online friend isn't any kind of real friend. No responsibility at all.
2) on a site where certain members pride themselves on sending anyone's pics off to places like Tineye of Google Image search. Or worse. Jeez, by now Tineye must have a far bigger collection than Sydney University (not the username guy)could ever hope to have.
In the end in comes down to personal morals, and as someone once sang "Fings ain't what they used to be." |
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By *opinovMan
over a year ago
Point Nemo, Cumbria |
"What's confusing to me is that having put public photos onto a sex site, I don't care in any way if people wank off over them. In fact I might be quite pleased!"
Your wish is my command, etc.... consider it done!  |
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By *opinovMan
over a year ago
Point Nemo, Cumbria |
Seriously though, whilst this place might be public by nature along with some of the pictures we share with our friends, it's still a very private part of our live which we choose to share in however limited a way we can - the fact that we share some of it with certain people doesn't make it, or the rest of our private lives, public property though... does it?
Aside from the theft of another's privacy, I've never understood the "bragging right" mentality of those who show their mates pictures of what I presume they see as their "conquests" or whatever. To me, despite the fleeting nature of a meet, it still remains a deeply personal encounter - they see a part of me (no, not just that bit) that I keep just for that special occasion... that's part of why it's so special, as is it's memory. Parading that in front of even one other person just for a laugh would soil it all.
It's a strange dichotomy really - sharing something so personal so openly and yet having to remain so protective of one's privacy. I suppose the only way around it is to choose friends carefully and never put anything you don't want made public anywhere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's confusing to me is that having put public photos onto a sex site, I don't care in any way if people wank off over them. In fact I might be quite pleased!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's confusing to me is that having put public photos onto a sex site, I don't care in any way if people wank off over them. In fact I might be quite pleased!
Your wish is my command, etc.... consider it done! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've just had to remove someone from my friends list because he thought it was acceptable to show my 'friends only' pics to a mate of his who isn't a member. I'm sure this has happened to other people. Am I over-reacting or am I right in feeling this is wrong?! "
this has happened to me before, on another profile...they guy in question didn't think he was doing anything wrong, which was the most worrying part |
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