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FabSwingers proudly presents Fabio and Soxy's 2014 Eurovision Song Contest Thread

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

yes... The most sarcastic and camp thread of the year is back for the 5th year running...

ground rules for this year... No moaning that the "united kingdom gets no points because of politics" save that for another thread...

1st semi tonight...

2nd semi on thursday...

proper show for real saturday!!!

all comments on songs, singers, dress sense, background dancers and general light-heartedned are welcome....

don't take it too seriously... and get the Abba Wigs out... unless you have long blonde hair already.. you are exempt!!!!

and.... 1,2,3.... away we go!!!!

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Meh! The United Kingdom gets no points because of politics.

And because our entries are often shit.

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

ive got a semi tonight

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

yay bring on eurovision *waves flag*

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do we want to win it? Holding the title of 'best shit song in Europe'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Has everyone retuned their digital radios to BBC radio2 Eurovision ?

Sorry about Scott mills

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"ive got a semi tonight "

Damn! He beat me to it!

Never mind, I'll beat mine in time to the songs...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thanks for the heads up. I like to know when the Eurovision Song Contest is so that I can make plans to avoid seeing the pointless and talentless pile of shit.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

im all for the bearded lady lol

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By *issHottieBottieWoman over a year ago

Kent

Mustn't forget to put the subtitles on so you can sing along

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By *entaur_UKMan over a year ago

Cannock

..........don't even know who our entry is for this years contest?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Time to hide it's that time of the year again

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I love Eurovision.

I get to support Holland failing to qualify and UK coming 25th!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/05/14 20:13:07]

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

the first one by armenia... very coldplay-ish!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This chap from Armenia is a favourite, his voice is weak.

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

latvia.... catchy.. but distracted by the hair/trousers combo.... lol

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

Oh Latvia! Hipsters without even trying. Love it! why is he wearing braces on the outside of his jacket though? At least it's about cake...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Our songs are to tame!! You gotta have a bonkers act to win!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

mix the dough and bake the cake, pmsl. Latvia are always good value, they're bonkers.

This woman is nasal.

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I am going to wanting to eat cake all night now....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sweden are normally crazy

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

"mix the dough and bake the cake, pmsl. Latvia are always good value, they're bonkers.

This woman is nasal."

Plus she looks a bit like Debbie McGee

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sweden she is lovely like Celine Dion a bit . Love her dress .

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

I'll un do you Mrs. .and then do you if you like

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

its the suited and booted teletubbies.....

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

p p p p p p p p shite

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

"p p p p p p p p shite

(but still endearing though)

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

"p p p p p p p p shite

(but still endearing though)"
they were an amalgamation of 12well known bands an were p p p p p jobby

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Aren't the presenters brilliantly shit!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I feel sorry for C I'm subjecting him to teletubbies and the like! I keep getting looked at funny! Then I remind him just 2 more nights of it to get through hehe

Cant beat a bit of cheese

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oooh Albanian flag emblem tattood on her back

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By *uby0000Woman over a year ago

hertfordshire

"Our songs are to tame!! You gotta have a bonkers act to win!!"

like lordi? I have met them scared the shit out of me lol

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

fuck Albania is amy macdonalds dad and shakiras mum s love child

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh this is truly shit, loving the joined hair.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is it bad I want one to fall off

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

shit the Russian siamese twins have separated live on air. that is impressive

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

Please, can a really really big person jump on one end and flip one of them off? Please?!

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

they were a bit samey

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Always someone on a bloody swing.

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

another set of twins ? her sister cant sing but she's impressive on trapeez

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We need the Proclaimers!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For some reason I said Tick-tock suck my cock

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Shit voice (Mr D is wincing) bur she's gorgeous!

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

"Shit voice (Mr D is wincing) bur she's gorgeous!"

So's the bloke in the hamster wheel. Not something I ever thought I'd say...

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By *uby0000Woman over a year ago

hertfordshire

"For some reason I said Tick-tock suck my cock"

in a minute lol

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

Kate bush and Angela jolie rolled into one what more could a hamster want. . . .a clock ?

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

this ukrainian lady is very sultry looking...... but when i win the lottery i am so getting one of those human hamster wheels....

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

Ukraine obviously must have other things on their mind this year shite song

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

its the insurance guy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The Belgian guy can sing!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have I missed Irelands entry?

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"its the insurance guy

you do expecting him to break into "go compare" at some point....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is this to Go Compare man!

It's awful.

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

"The Belgian guy can sing!"

I'm not so sure - there are quite a lot of tuning/breathing issues that are making me wince.

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Ya can't beat a bit of Vicky Leandros

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Have I missed Irelands entry?"

not in this semi... they are in the one on thursday

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mr D wants to know the running order, he doesn't know how much more he can stand before Holland.

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

what made Belgium think now I've got a great idea

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Errrrrmmmmm???? What????

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

It's Game of Thrones - the shit musical!

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

fuck maid Marion and 4egyptian pole dancers . .MERCY MERCY i give in

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Errrrrmmmmm???? What????

Don't worry about it, I will sing it to you when I know exactly what it is myself

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

beLinda carlisle on acid?

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Mr D wants to know the running order, he doesn't know how much more he can stand before Holland."

one after next (portugal)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Errrrrmmmmm???? What????

Don't worry about it, I will sing it to you when I know exactly what it is myself

I don't think my ears could take it again! Once was more than enough lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Have I missed Irelands entry?

not in this semi... they are in the one on thursday"

Thanks

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

can someone explain the bearded lady.is she he or she or both?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Said did drag since 13 so assuming he

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Direct rip-off of the Lambada.

Hup Holland Hup!!!!

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

"Direct rip-off of the Lambada.

Hup Holland Hup!!!!

Veel geluk!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Direct rip-off of the Lambada.

Hup Holland Hup!!!!

Veel geluk!"

Dank u wel

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Every breath I take???? Or is that just me?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Every breath I take???? Or is that just me?"

Thats what I was just thinking, what is it like.

Think you're right.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Every breath I take???? Or is that just me?"

yeah i can see why your thinking that..

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

Decent singing and lovely harmonies though - and a bit of pedal steel is a nice touch.

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

definitely shop at vintage . . .Thats Phil lynots suit and lulus dress

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

Does she remind anyone of Duffy?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not Eurovision enough though is it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/05/14 21:13:45]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

montenegro sounds like a foreign version of a b*witched song 'to you i belong'

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

My housemates have wrestled the remote control off me. Let me know which ones are good or truly abysmal and I'll catch them up on iPlayer. This never happened when I flat-shared with gay guys!

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

braveheart and titanic rolled into one but sang by an accountant

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd now I remember why I don't bother getting a TV.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not Eurovision enough though is it?"

I want some more cheese!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"braveheart and titanic rolled into one but sang by an accountant

seriously youtube 'b*witched - to you i belong' its amazingly similar

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

"Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd now I remember why I don't bother getting a TV."

They just had someone ice skating on stage around a singer. You would have loved it!

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

Louis smith s long lost half brother

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nice bit of Hungarian drum n bass. lol

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

winner of the "fiercest eyebrows" goes to this hungrian fella.... woah a rave broke out in the middle of his song!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"braveheart and titanic rolled into one but sang by an accountant

seriously youtube 'b*witched - to you i belong' its amazingly similar "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd now I remember why I don't bother getting a TV.

They just had someone ice skating on stage around a singer. You would have loved it!"

I'd rather batter my genitals with a bowling pin and feed them to piranhas.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

oddly liked the drum n bass track 'running'

no way will it win though

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

she's keeps on runnin because she's slightly intimidated

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd now I remember why I don't bother getting a TV.

They just had someone ice skating on stage around a singer. You would have loved it!

I'd rather batter my genitals with a bowling pin and feed them to piranhas."

HOT.. can we watch?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd now I remember why I don't bother getting a TV.

They just had someone ice skating on stage around a singer. You would have loved it!

I'd rather batter my genitals with a bowling pin and feed them to piranhas."

Mmmm.....hot.

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

can someone explain the bearded lady to me now is she a she,a he or both?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

cant believe I missed Latvia!!

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By *himanMan over a year ago

chichester

Why cannot uk vote tonite

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"can someone explain the bearded lady to me now is she a she,a he or both?"

They said they'd done drag since 13 so.assuming he

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

if latvia dont make it thru from this semi i will protest by not eating cake!!!!

if they do... i'll celebrate by eating cake....

damn... cake on the brain!!!

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

would be cool if Estonia get to the final and the guy lets her go

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

"Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd now I remember why I don't bother getting a TV.

They just had someone ice skating on stage around a singer. You would have loved it!

I'd rather batter my genitals with a bowling pin and feed them to piranhas."

That's a very specific tool to go for. Would a skittle not be a better bludgeoning weapon?

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

go compare go compare

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By *uby0000Woman over a year ago

hertfordshire

Portugal gets my vote tonight

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

latvia - cake baking will get through

iceland - teletubbies

ukrain - tick tock/running man in hamster wheel

hungary - runnin

those are the only ones i liked

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm not biased at all

Netherlands

ArmeNLia

Netherlands

the NLast act

PortugaNL

lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

is that Ruth Lorenzo for Spain?

wasnt she an X factor contestant over here?

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

Scott mills gets camper by the second. . .too much pouting for my liking . .

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

wow... no portugal, no go compare man, no cake!!!!!!

not happy....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"wow... no portugal, no go compare man, no cake!!!!!!

not happy...."

I thought Portugal was cool too

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I'm just doing Saturday as I'm out too much this week.

I will be watching to see who you have all rated that failed to make the cut.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I do love a semi

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By *uby0000Woman over a year ago

hertfordshire

Netherlands is a pretty song

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

semi final no.2 tonight....

up the irish and up the bearded lady!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"semi final no.2 tonight....

up the irish and up the bearded lady!!!"

She made a brief appearance last episode. Still trying to work out whether that beard is real.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Are you all ready for a few more hours of kitsch camp spectacle and loads of awful songs!!??!!??

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

i actually like the malta one!!

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

first time I've seen a skateboard strummed

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's not typical Malta is it! Usually they have a female singing a pretty bad ballad.

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

are Israel bein racist.?

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

bloody hell... rylan is singing coldplay....

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

depressing he was thought i

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By *himanMan over a year ago

chichester

Laura is gawjus

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh Jeses, what the fuck is this.

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

Thats my dad after the pub

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

"Oh Jeses, what the fuck is this."

I said this exact thing!

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By *ILLY aka SirslagWoman over a year ago

Land of the Prince Bishops

Watching as i type with my long blonde abba hair ( not a wig ) and very tempted to vote for these goat herders from Georgia which i like in very unsettling way...

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

wherever it is marijuana is legal

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By *himanMan over a year ago

chichester

Its v green

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

okay.... that was weird even for eurovision!!!

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"okay.... that was weird even for eurovision!!!

I take that back..... now THIS is weird!!!

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

they're wearing fucking tartan . cunts

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nice tits

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"they're wearing fucking tartan . cunts

you mean you were looking at the tartan.. my eyes were drawn elsewhere...

oh well... bearded lady next!!!!

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By *himanMan over a year ago

chichester

Great boobs

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

Is this the first semi final?

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Is this the first semi final? "

no.. the is the 2nd... you missed the cake-saga on tuesday

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is this the first semi final? "

2nd according to the OP.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is this the first semi final?

2nd according to the OP."

Not bragging but Holland rocked the first semi-final.

OK I'm bragging.

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

they just said the bearded lady is really a man

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By *himanMan over a year ago

chichester

Great beard

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

"Is this the first semi final?

no.. the is the 2nd... you missed the cake-saga on tuesday"

Oh. It is interesting how many sing I'm English. I quite liked the last one that didn't.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

"they just said the bearded lady is really a man

I quite like it! Stunning eyes!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wonder if Gilette will try and sign her up?

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By *uby0000Woman over a year ago

hertfordshire

"Great beard"

its real too his name is tom

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

I have eyelash jealousy. I can never get falsies stuck on and these are ace. Plus a proper old school rallantendo into key change. Eurovisiontastic!

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

.i dontknow if i like the world anymore

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

have to say... i really liked that song!!!

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Errrrrmmmmm???? What????

Don't worry about it, I will sing it to you when I know exactly what it is myself

I don't think my ears could take it again! Once was more than enough lol

I could whistle or hum it to you

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By *uby0000Woman over a year ago

hertfordshire

my friend the fins now

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

Sorry, just had to check on the football (3-0). Did I miss much?

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Sorry, just had to check on the football (3-0). Did I miss much?"

polish big boobed women... austrian bearded ladies and a man putting his hand up a skirt...

other than that... nah....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I remember Lulu, Sandie shaw, Cliff Richard, Abba.... oh and Israeli TV, the rest is a blur apart from the old Tel Wogan!!

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By *uby0000Woman over a year ago

hertfordshire

they have so many better groups in finland im a little dissapointed

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Aren't you having a Eurovision party?...or is that taking the camp a tad too far?

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

i need my head checking... my first thought seeing the irish woman in that dress was

"she doesn't pull it off as well as the bearded lady".....

off for a lie down!!! lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is badly sung.

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

I am not enjoying Belarus. By the way, it's 4-0.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't watch Eastenders but for some reason I think this woman is in it.

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I don't watch Eastenders but for some reason I think this woman is in it."

paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttt!!!

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By *uby0000Woman over a year ago

hertfordshire

swiss roger whittaker lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How scared does the Greek kid look......

oh dear, not good either.

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

..whoop whoop r r rise up!!!!

shite

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By *ScotsmanMan over a year ago

ayrshire

its a miracle whoop whoop

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

vote for the bearded lady... it was actually the best act of the night by a mile!!!

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By *uby0000Woman over a year ago

hertfordshire

Greece good but I do like the bearded ladys song

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Christ that German dancer was freaky!

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By *uby0000Woman over a year ago

hertfordshire

"Christ that German dancer was freaky!"

the one with the freaky arms and shoulders?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So, if all the above semi-finalists were as described, do ya reckon our "Molly" might get a few votes, maybe even a dozen or so?

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By *uby0000Woman over a year ago

hertfordshire

So, if all the above semi-finalists were as described, do ya reckon our "Molly" might get a few votes, maybe even a dozen or so?"

nope

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By *abio OP Man over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

So, if all the above semi-finalists were as described, do ya reckon our "Molly" might get a few votes, maybe even a dozen or so?"

possibly top 10 this year... top 3 if lucky....

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By *uby0000Woman over a year ago

hertfordshire

dancing in the rain spain is good

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By *uby0000Woman over a year ago

hertfordshire

Austria through

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

Yay!!!! Austria are through!!!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

Is scot mills doing the final? I hate him!

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