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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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OK im not entirely sure who he is but ive seen some of the jokes and they are pretty funny..
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, death hasnt the balls to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice
Chuck Norris is the reason Wally is hiding 
over to you lot  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OK im not entirely sure who he is but ive seen some of the jokes and they are pretty funny..
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, death hasnt the balls to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice
Chuck Norris is the reason Wally is hiding
over to you lot "
He was the hardest ginger ever!  |
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whats red and white and flys through the jungle?
chuck Norris with a telephone box on the end of his dick
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that joke metamorphosized into its final print as i was textin, it started in my head as chuck norris with a nosebleed. . . .thats just an extra free insight to the making of a chuck norris post.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Chuck norris was a martial arts expert and an actor. He was hard as nails.
Not as good as Bruce Lee though  "
bruce lee kicked his ass in way of the dragon . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Chuck Norris gets 'fancy a fuck' emails from the ladies."
hahahaha love it
Chuck Norris sleeps with most women around the world once a month,, consequently they bleed for 5 days after |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The First rule of Chuck Norris is: you do not talk about Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity... Twice.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker the second Wednesday of every month.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
chuck norris was originally up for the lead role as "jack Bauer" in 24....
unfortunately the plan has to be changed when he solved the crime, and killed all the terrorist bad guys in 1hr 22 minutes... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Chuck norris was a martial arts expert and an actor. He was hard as nails.
Not as good as Bruce Lee though "
Very misleading post there. Due to the fact that Chuck Norris is still very much alive and your post insinuates that he has passed away, which he has not.
I love Chuck Norris.. I fear not to tell him so though, just incase he round house kicks me into an early grave.
Chuck Norris is the only person in existance that can hear Braille |
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Chuck Norris was in Expendables 2. He nearly turned the role down because everyone knows he is inexpendable. Every time Chuck walked on the film set, Bruce Willis, Arnold Swarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean Claude Van Damme and Jason Statham shat their pants and ran away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are we all done with this thread? Good, then i shall fire the parting shot.
Ahem.
(May the norris forgive me for what i am about to say)
Even Chuck Norris is scared of Molly Weasley!
(Grabs coat and sprints for door)
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Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Some magicians can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land. |
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"Chuck Norris was in Expendables 2. He nearly turned the role down because everyone knows he is inexpendable. Every time Chuck walked on the film set, Bruce Willis, Arnold Swarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean Claude Van Damme and Jason Statham shat their pants and ran away. "
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Chuck Norris was turned down for the lead role in Brookback Mountain because he was crying uncontrollably to even finish his lines during the auditions  |
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"Has anyone tried googling "how do I find chuck Norris?"
You dont find Chuck Norris he finds you "
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When Chuck tries to login to Goggle +
It tells him "PASSWORD NOT STRONG ENOUGH" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OK im not entirely sure who he is but ive seen some of the jokes and they are pretty funny..
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, death hasnt the balls to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice
Chuck Norris is the reason Wally is hiding
over to you lot "
I think Chuck caught up with the OP and exercised a bit of ass whipping for not knowing who he was!! |
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"Chuck Norris went to Burger King and ordered a Big Mac, and got one. "
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...and when Woody Allen went for a Harvey Wallbanger, Chuck Norris got scared and went hiding...
but later served Woody after an hour of apologising |
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"Stallone asked chuck how many press ups he can do and chuck replied.... All of them!!! "
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After each night of shooting Expendables 1, Stallone used to go to Hooters for a drink where a cute Hooters girl in hot pants named Chuck served him...
... the rest as they say is history |
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"Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime."
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Chuck Norris is one fourth Grand Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man drives a feckin Jeep |
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"chuck norris was originally up for the lead role as "jack Bauer" in 24....
unfortunately the plan has to be changed when he solved the crime, and killed all the terrorist bad guys in 1hr 22 minutes... "
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Before being discovered as a martial arts talent, Chuck Norris was a writer for Hallmark greeting cards.
Awwwww.... |
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