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Funny Labour/Giving Birth Stories.
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By *aravancouple OP Man
over a year ago
A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love |
I recently read this and just know FAB posters can better it.
Man to midwife on phone: How's my wife?
Midwife: She's halfway there, not long to go now.
Man: Oh, she's over the worst then.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As my ex wife was in labour with our eldest, the hospital radio was playing" like a Virgin " in the labour room, over her screams I said , bet you wish you where still one of those",
She didn't see the funny side for some reason, and called me a cunt!  |
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Have a look on youtube for 'Rob Brydon live at the appolo'.
IMO - the best episode ever. Sarah Millican and Jason Byrne too.
Rob Brydon talking about his 4th child I think who is being born at home while he is playing golf with Little Ron |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I forgot who my partner (now ex) was through all that gas. Haha. It must have been a funny sight for me to turn to the nurse and ask who he was and why do they let strangers in. Do not remember it at all! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I forgot who my partner (now ex) was through all that gas. Haha. It must have been a funny sight for me to turn to the nurse and ask who he was and why do they let strangers in. Do not remember it at all! "
Sounds just like the conception of number 3 child ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My ex said to me as I was giving birth to are 1st " I bet you wish you had just given me a BJ now don't you " I was not best pleased "
yeah i told the father exactly, in extremely graphic detail and at the top of my lungs, what would Happen to his manliness should he ever so much as look at me like he wanted to kiss me. ever. again
then as soon as i held the baby and got that melty feeling i looked up at him and said 'i want another one'  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Kind of funny. Kind of terrible.
I was in the bath after just having had my baby and being in labour for three days. The nurse went off and said she would be back in a sec.
Two! hours later, she burst in the door exclaiming "I'm so sorry. I forgot you all about you".
I was still lying in a now freezing bath, too tired to move.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My daughter was massive!! Long and chubby! The length of a 3 month old and weighed 10lb 13oz, I had Dr's and nurses appear from nowhere for a good look!! I was off my face on gas at the time with legs wide open, poking my belly shouting I'm thin I'm thin!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We were due to go to has engagement party the night my wife decided to go into Labour, we phoned for the ambulance, only for a Police van to turn up at our door,as at the time the ambulances were on strike, was quite Funny the next day when everyone thought we had both been arrested, an that my wife had been kept in and I was released as I was the only one that came home the next morning |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
Cupcake Brown, who is author of a book called A Piece of Cake, ended up being called Cupcake because when her mother was asked, just after giving birth and still out of it, what she wanted to call her daughter, she said cupcake. She'd had cravings throughout her pregnancy for them apparently, and wanted one! |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
A friend of mine, who gave birth at home, had a very fast labour and nearly delivered the baby into the toilet when she decided she needed a wee!
It was so fast that the midwife got there just as they got her back to bed, at which point she said "I need to push" and had the baby.
That was her second. The first she nearly had in the car on the way to the hospital. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My daughter was massive!! Long and chubby! The length of a 3 month old and weighed 10lb 13oz, I had Dr's and nurses appear from nowhere for a good look!! I was off my face on gas at the time with legs wide open, poking my belly shouting I'm thin I'm thin!!!
I remember doing the exact same thing saying I'm thin must have sat there for 5 mins poking my belly"
Pmsl!! I remember how strange it looked from going from big bump to nothing! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me ex asked me if it was 'really that bad?' whilst in labour with my first. I grabbed the neck of his tshirt, pulled him down so we were face to face and in an exorcist growl told him 'it hurts!!!' . I almostdislocated his shoulder, he had to get painkillers off the midwife  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I needed stitches and my midwife said am not very good I said o am sure you will be ok nextt thing she said I told you I was no good ive stitched the tampoon to you I said thanks and laughed x |
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By *aravancouple OP Man
over a year ago
A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love |
"I needed stitches and my midwife said am not very good I said o am sure you will be ok nextt thing she said I told you I was no good ive stitched the tampoon to you I said thanks and laughed x"
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cue me trying to wrestle my OH onto the delivery bed with me 