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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Slightly Embarrassing Meerkat Impersonation
The phone rang about 7pm a couple of evenings ago and I just assumed it would be my friend Tracy calling. Consequently I picked up and launched straight into my Meerkat impression o “Compare the Meerkat…..My ancestors did not go through all THAT just to give to cheap car insurance etc. etc.” When I’d finished there was a bit of a silence at the other end and then a posh lady's voice said “Can I speak to Mr. Timothy W. please?” 
I said, “ I take it that’s not my friend Tracy then?” She replied “No I’m not, but I wish I was! That’s my favourite advert, and I loved the way you did it. I’m actually calling to ask if you can come in to the Hospital at short notice for the MRI scan on your shoulder.”
Has anyone else picked up and said something daft to a complete stanger? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My Granddad does stuff like that all the time. I can only remember a couple but he's answered the phone pretending to be Crewe Station before and Battersea Dogs Home too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to have an answerphone message that went, "Hi, I'm not in right now but if you have some good news, leave a message, but if it's bad news, piss off cos I don't wanna hear it."
I changed it after my mother got quite upset at hearing me tell her to piss off cos she'd called to say an Aunt had died.  |
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My Dad used to answer the phone with :-
"Hello, Attila the Hun Campaign, Goth & Visigoth Section...."
I think both his sense of humour & interest in history rubbed off on me!
P.S.
Blur - i'm being sorely tempted by a Marin 140 Wolf Ridge at the moment, '09 version with £1000 off list price.....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"I used to have an answerphone message that went, "Hi, I'm not in right now but if you have some good news, leave a message, but if it's bad news, piss off cos I don't wanna hear it."
I changed it after my mother got quite upset at hearing me tell her to piss off cos she'd called to say an Aunt had died. "
I used to have a similar one on an old mobile,Don't leave me a message unless its a nice one,another one I had was where I would say hi how are you and the other person would start talking for a while before they realised it was the answer phone,used to drive people mad  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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That's a bike for serious aggro Sara and a grand off list price is a bargain by anyone's standards. I'm still very pleased my superlight, but then I'm just a wimpy 4-inch fair weather biker LOL. After trying mine, my brother got one from ebay (I was leaving him behind but he can keep up with me now LOL). I was impressed with the latests Heckler with 150mm bolt-thru revs and also the Blur LT when I tried them out on a demo day at Sherwood recently. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Blimey I'm a complete anorak. Here I am on a swinging site talking mountain bikes when I should be talking gorgeous mature ladies into meeting me for kinky sex.
As you can see ladies - I'm a hopeless case and you've been quite right not to bother with me! |
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Once rung a mates works mobile and got "Hello and welcome to the BBC, The Banana Bending Company. Our staff of highly trained orangutangs will be available shortly to take your call, once they have chased the chimps out of the tea party in the staff canteen!" |
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I answered my phone one evening and it went like this…
Me: “Hello (place name phone number) 12345678”
Caller: “Hi David, how are you?”
Me: “Oh I’m fine thanks, how are you?”
Caller: “I’m ok. How are the kids, can I speak to them?”
Me: “Sorry, not now, they are in bed. By the way… who is it?”
Caller: “You silly sod, didn’t you recognise my voice, its you mother”
Me “OH… no wonder I didn’t recognise your voice, you’ve been dead 5 years!”
Caller: “OH…. Oh my god… oh dear… is that place 12345679?”
Me: “Erm, no sorry it isn’t, its 12345678”
It was quite a few minutes of chat in practice, but incredible as it seems, this woman dialled a wrong number but got everything else right! Bet she’s never forgotten it, I know I never will.  |
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Once received a call on the hands free in the car as I was driving for a drink with my son that went like:
Me: Hello (name)
Female Caller: You bastard you are with her aren't you?
Me: (with son in the car) I'm sorry who is this? I am sat here with my son at the moment.
Caller: You promised me you were going to leave her and yet here you are playing happy F*cking families.
Me: I BEG your pardon.
Caller: Don't try to wheedle your way out of it you bastard, you said you would leave her, you are in your car aren't you? You aren't even in the office.
Me: Excuse me? Do you have the wrong number.
Caller: NO I DON'T have the wrong number and stop trying to bluff. You seem to think it's ok to just come here, get your rocks off and then go and meanwhile I'm left crying myself to sleep.
Me (and son having realised it's a proper bunny boiler and have gone into the golfclub and ordered a drink and got phone on speaker on the bar): Yeah well you aren't really that great in bed.......
Caller:A LOT of abuse.
Me: Madam you have called the wrong number this is (my number) what number do you think you are ringing. We are at (Name of golfclub) in Yorkshire and the entire bar are eagerly aniticipating your next utterance.
Caller: Is that not (another number 1 digit transposed)?
Me: No you've transposed a digit.
Caller: Oh my god I'm so sorry!
Me: No, please do carry on.He sounds an absolute bastard toying with your affections like that. I mean, some married men carry on like there are no consequences. And you listen to them say "My wife doesn't understand me etc and of course I will leave her but it's the kids you see..."
Her: Well yes, but I'm SOOO sorry I made a mistake.
Me: You certainly did having an affair with a married man, is he your boss?
Her: Yes he is.
Me: Good job I'm already divorced then isn't it? Can you imagine if my ex-wife were in the car with me and I wasn't divorced?
etc etc
Gave us a good laugh afterwards though. |
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