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Wot would u do if sum1 broke into ure home?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wot would u do if sum1 broke into ure home and you caught them in the act wot would u do!???
I tell be shit scared!,,lol,,,probably attack um with a chair! lol
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Wot would u do if sum1 broke into ure home and you caught them in the act wot would u do!???
I tell be shit scared!,,lol,,,probably attack um with a chair! lol
"
Batter the be jayzuz outta em with my 7" heels |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Instruct the butler to remove the intruder's head with a well-placed 12-bore cartridge, then sue his estate for the claen-up bill.  "
2rite!! here here!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Stab them with the 12" carving knife I keep upstairs for just such a purpose. Then go outside for a smoke and call the cops. I'd feel no remorse at all. Not one iota of it. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Stab them with the 12" carving knife I keep upstairs for just such a purpose. Then go outside for a smoke and call the cops. I'd feel no remorse at all. Not one iota of it."
wouldnt you utilise your new shed wishy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stab them with the 12" carving knife I keep upstairs for just such a purpose. Then go outside for a smoke and call the cops. I'd feel no remorse at all. Not one iota of it.wouldnt you utilise your new shed wishy? "
I can't hit someone with a shed!! They're very big you know.. heavy too! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Smash thier teeth out with a golf club, and drop them off (still unconcious) outside the police station for medical attention (after planting some suspicious powder, and bomb making plans on them).
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"wet my frilly pink panties...the ones with 'my little pony' on the front  "
between that and the persistant emails to the government i can see you gettin a ministerial post soon!!! xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"wet my frilly pink panties...the ones with 'my little pony' on the front
between that and the persistant emails to the government i can see you gettin a ministerial post soon!!! xx "
am hoping |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"wet my frilly pink panties...the ones with 'my little pony' on the front
between that and the persistant emails to the government i can see you gettin a ministerial post soon!!! xx
am hoping "
i think they give you it just to get peace....xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"wet my frilly pink panties...the ones with 'my little pony' on the front
between that and the persistant emails to the government i can see you gettin a ministerial post soon!!! xx
am hoping
i think they give you it just to get peace....xx "
you've seen through my cunning plan  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Smash thier teeth out with a golf club, and drop them off (still unconcious) outside the police station for medical attention (after planting some suspicious powder, and bomb making plans on them).
2RITE!!! GOOD ONE!! teeeeheeee!
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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until I'm faced with it I couldn't possibly say, protect the family by any means necessary, get the intruder out the house, even if it means dragging them down the stairs by there ankles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Someone broke into my house a few years ago and ransacked the whole place.
The police caught the scumbag not long after the break-in was reported and i got every thing back.
Got a phone call the following morning from plod to say that the coward had hung himself in his cell during the night.
I hope it hurt the fucking junkie scumbag.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"wet my frilly pink panties...the ones with 'my little pony' on the front.
Shouldn't that be on the back?? "
A Scotsman always wears his little pony to the front....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being kinda a placid guy if someone broke inta my house and i caught em at it then there is really only one thing i would do.........kill the fucker lol xx  |
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a few years back i was woken by a cple of arseholes trying to get in my kitchen window so i got up went down the stairs let the dog out the front door (dobberman cross)and i then ran to the back door just in time to see tich taking a chunk out of one of there arses (he is a lochjaw) as they were climbing the fence to get away so the chunk came out alright he has passed away and we have moved but i still think about how many stitches he would have got lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"as the law stands if they come up the stair's while your in the house you can use reasonable force to repel them, but as i live in a flat !!!! where does that leave me ????????"
throwing them outta the window |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"a few years back i was woken by a cple of arseholes trying to get in my kitchen window so i got up went down the stairs let the dog out the front door (dobberman cross)and i then ran to the back door just in time to see tich taking a chunk out of one of there arses (he is a lochjaw) as they were climbing the fence to get away so the chunk came out alright he has passed away and we have moved but i still think about how many stitches he would have got lol"
love the name tich for a big dog lol!! xx |
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"just shoot them in the back - after all, wit the Tories in power now that's sure to be acceptable"
might also be a bit of back stabbing in the red camp in months to come
who knows, watch this space
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stab them with the 12" carving knife I keep upstairs for just such a purpose. Then go outside for a smoke and call the cops. I'd feel no remorse at all. Not one iota of it."
Surely after cleaning the knife of prints and placing it in the hand of the dead burgler...justice! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love the bravado on here. In reality i suspect things would be very different. "
No way.....It'd be bin liners,gaffer tape and a late night trip to the salt marshes.........not that I've given it much thought! R
XX |
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By *ouvakMan
over a year ago
clacton on sea |
let the punishment once again fit the crime, if caught their goods and property should be shared amongst their victims or sold off in a yard sale, while they were held in stocks unable to do anything about it lol |
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I'd wait at the top of the stairs with a baseball bat (apparently) ready to take the hardest swing I could at their head (followed by as many more swings as I could IF they were still standing after the first one.... I'd no doubt have to replace the wallpaper at some point after that. |
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"I love the bravado on here. In reality i suspect things would be very different. "
I know what I would do as it is what I stood waiting to do when I thought it was hapening.
Also some years ago whilst working I was (well the company was) robbed at knife point... I broke the guy’s collar bone with an old police truncheon I just happened to have handy.
A few years before that, I punched a guy who was trying to take cash from the company I worked for… knocking him out. I did workout a lot in those days as I played a fairly physical contact sport at international level. … but I have to admit I nearly fucked my hand up through hitting him so hard…. hence the truncheon being kept in a handy place the second time it happened.
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"I love the bravado on here. In reality i suspect things would be very different.
I know what I would do as it is what I stood waiting to do when I thought it was hapening.
Also some years ago whilst working I was (well the company was) robbed at knife point... I broke the guy’s collar bone with an old police truncheon I just happened to have handy.
A few years before that, I punched a guy who was trying to take cash from the company I worked for… knocking him out. I did workout a lot in those days as I played a fairly physical contact sport at international level. … but I have to admit I nearly fucked my hand up through hitting him so hard…. hence the truncheon being kept in a handy place the second time it happened.
"
I wouldn't tackle a robber in my own shop let alone in a business I never owned......  |
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"I love the bravado on here. In reality i suspect things would be very different.
I know what I would do as it is what I stood waiting to do when I thought it was hapening.
Also some years ago whilst working I was (well the company was) robbed at knife point... I broke the guy’s collar bone with an old police truncheon I just happened to have handy.
A few years before that, I punched a guy who was trying to take cash from the company I worked for… knocking him out. I did workout a lot in those days as I played a fairly physical contact sport at international level. … but I have to admit I nearly fucked my hand up through hitting him so hard…. hence the truncheon being kept in a handy place the second time it happened.
I wouldn't tackle a robber in my own shop let alone in a business I never owned...... "
I advise people never to tackle shoplifters and the like.... but I was just pissed off with them, so thought "fuck it!" when I saw a suitable opportunity.
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Happened to me a couple of summers ago, was doing the ironing in the front room and had the back door open to let in air and the lights in the rest of the house were off. Hear a noise in the back room and put it down to the cat, 2 mins later hear louder thumps and thought whoops, unplugged the iron and went into the hall to be greeted by a bloke removing an old CD unit, I started screaming "get the hell out of my house I'm calling the police..." brandishing the iron like it was a tazer, he turned calmly walked out into the yard and turned calm as f**k and said "there I'm out of your f**king house and went over the back wall in a leisurely way!!! I was so angry and rang a friend as I started to tell her and then started to really shake. Now got a dog and feel a whole lot safer but the dam thing would lick someone to death before she'd even growl at them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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its MY house its MY child that is in it, its stuff i have worked hard to get and would not consider twice about "settin aboot them" in true scottish fashion! i have a yorkie that is one nippy little git and a baseball bat called cyril at the back of my bed (bet thats my meets cut lol) they take the chance by breaking in xx |
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By *ig badMan
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"its MY house its MY child that is in it, its stuff i have worked hard to get and would not consider twice about "settin aboot them" in true scottish fashion! i have a yorkie that is one nippy little git and a baseball bat called cyril at the back of my bed (bet thats my meets cut lol) they take the chance by breaking in xx"
i don't blame you. But in reality if you attack someone they will defend them self. Now if the robber is caring a knife then it could end up in you being hurt. so the best thing is always to assess the situation at the time. Is there 1, 2, 3 or more of them are they armed etc then react upon information you have |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Years ago several members of a motorcycle club,which shall remain nameless to protect the innocent lol,went for a night on the piss.
When they returned back to the house they'd left they found the back door open and a few electrical items in a large holdall nearby.
Realising the perpetrator wouldn't have fled empty handed,they carried out a search and came up trumps in a bedroom.
Whoever said "Where there's no sense there's no feeling" should have been there that night! R
XX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its MY house its MY child that is in it, its stuff i have worked hard to get and would not consider twice about "settin aboot them" in true scottish fashion! i have a yorkie that is one nippy little git and a baseball bat called cyril at the back of my bed (bet thats my meets cut lol) they take the chance by breaking in xx
i don't blame you. But in reality if you attack someone they will defend them self. Now if the robber is caring a knife then it could end up in you being hurt. so the best thing is always to assess the situation at the time. Is there 1, 2, 3 or more of them are they armed etc then react upon information you have "
there is a bonus in bein a poor council house dweller.... there fuck all for them to steal!!! and they would still be gettin a good whack as long as i get at least one i will be happy!! and if it takes 3 of them to attempt to ransack my house it would be like the chuckle brothers lol!! i must say though housebreakings are non existant about here xx |
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By *ig badMan
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"its MY house its MY child that is in it, its stuff i have worked hard to get and would not consider twice about "settin aboot them" in true scottish fashion! i have a yorkie that is one nippy little git and a baseball bat called cyril at the back of my bed (bet thats my meets cut lol) they take the chance by breaking in xx
i don't blame you. But in reality if you attack someone they will defend them self. Now if the robber is caring a knife then it could end up in you being hurt. so the best thing is always to assess the situation at the time. Is there 1, 2, 3 or more of them are they armed etc then react upon information you have
there is a bonus in bein a poor council house dweller.... there fuck all for them to steal!!! and they would still be gettin a good whack as long as i get at least one i will be happy!! and if it takes 3 of them to attempt to ransack my house it would be like the chuckle brothers lol!! i must say though housebreakings are non existant about here xx"
Well i am a poor defenseless church going presbyterian, vegitarian pacifist so of course i would never ever condone fisticuffs |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"its MY house its MY child that is in it, its stuff i have worked hard to get and would not consider twice about "settin aboot them" in true scottish fashion! i have a yorkie that is one nippy little git and a baseball bat called cyril at the back of my bed (bet thats my meets cut lol) they take the chance by breaking in xx
i don't blame you. But in reality if you attack someone they will defend them self. Now if the robber is caring a knife then it could end up in you being hurt. so the best thing is always to assess the situation at the time. Is there 1, 2, 3 or more of them are they armed etc then react upon information you have
there is a bonus in bein a poor council house dweller.... there fuck all for them to steal!!! and they would still be gettin a good whack as long as i get at least one i will be happy!! and if it takes 3 of them to attempt to ransack my house it would be like the chuckle brothers lol!! i must say though housebreakings are non existant about here xx
Well i am a poor defenseless church going presbyterian, vegitarian pacifist so of course i would never ever condone fisticuffs "
i just swallowed my monster much whole at that comment lol  |
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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago
warwickshire |
"Call the police and hope they come before dawn."
Oh, they'll be there really quickly if you say to the operator:
"I'm not sure, but I THINK the burglar has got a gun"
Then put the phone down.
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By *ouvakMan
over a year ago
clacton on sea |
"Call the police and hope they come before dawn.
Oh, they'll be there really quickly if you say to the operator:
"I'm not sure, but I THINK the burglar has got a gun"
Then put the phone down.
"
phone the police and just say " i think i just killed someone" i bet they will be there in under 5 mins |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
Having been the victim of crime a couple of times where the police were slow and the justice system utterly toothless...
It's not bravado.
I haven't had a fight since I was about 12, but if I catch someone in my house...I will do them permanent damage. |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
"
phone the police and just say " i think i just killed someone" i bet they will be there in under 5 mins "
I don't want them arriving quickly.
If I'm phoning 999, it's for an ambulance, and that's only when I'm good and ready. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wot would u do if sum1 broke into ure home and you caught them in the act wot would u do!???
I tell be shit scared!,,lol,,,probably attack um with a chair! lol
"
Ler's not piss about here, as it's late and I had a bottle of wine; if they get past my dogs (unlikely) then there's the Walther in my bed and I shoot the bastard! |
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If I was in a really really good mood I might stop my dogs from killing them. We have 3 Mastiffs, the smallest of the three is over 11 stone but then he is still a puppy. They might look slow and lumbering but believe me they can move like lightening! Once they latch on there is only one of two ways the jaws will open… because the dog decides to let go or shoot the dog dead. And be careful with the aim, anything other than an instant kill in the first shot and it’ll just piss dog off even more.
A friend of ours was visited by a robber while she and her boyfriend were snuggling on the sofa. The dog (jack Russell) raised the alarm and the boyfriend went for the intruder but he managed to get away. However the robber and his lookout were both caught. Oh yes, and the boyfriend was arrested and charged with assault as the robber hurt himself on the fence while escaping!
My ex-wife was in bed for the night with her new boyfriend. While they slept a thief broke in, robbed them of cash and goods and left. They knew nothing about it until they got up in the morning! And believe it or not… their dog must have slept through it too because it never made a sound!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wot well well well!----Loving all the fabulous big big long stories !! all i can say is so wot,,,no!!! just a joke!! honest!!---truth is---
WELL DONE TO ALL OUR HAVE A GO HEROES!! U DERSERVE A MEDAL!   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I was in a really really good mood I might stop my dogs from killing them. We have 3 Mastiffs, the smallest of the three is over 11 stone but then he is still a puppy. They might look slow and lumbering but believe me they can move like lightening! Once they latch on there is only one of two ways the jaws will open… because the dog decides to let go or shoot the dog dead. And be careful with the aim, anything other than an instant kill in the first shot and it’ll just piss dog off even more.
A friend of ours was visited by a robber while she and her boyfriend were snuggling on the sofa. The dog (jack Russell) raised the alarm and the boyfriend went for the intruder but he managed to get away. However the robber and his lookout were both caught. Oh yes, and the boyfriend was arrested and charged with assault as the robber hurt himself on the fence while escaping!
My ex-wife was in bed for the night with her new boyfriend. While they slept a thief broke in, robbed them of cash and goods and left. They knew nothing about it until they got up in the morning! And believe it or not… their dog must have slept through it too because it never made a sound!
"
When robbing they drug dogs! Or worse poison them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I was in a really really good mood I might stop my dogs from killing them. We have 3 Mastiffs, the smallest of the three is over 11 stone but then he is still a puppy. They might look slow and lumbering but believe me they can move like lightening! Once they latch on there is only one of two ways the jaws will open… because the dog decides to let go or shoot the dog dead. And be careful with the aim, anything other than an instant kill in the first shot and it’ll just piss dog off even more.
A friend of ours was visited by a robber while she and her boyfriend were snuggling on the sofa. The dog (jack Russell) raised the alarm and the boyfriend went for the intruder but he managed to get away. However the robber and his lookout were both caught. Oh yes, and the boyfriend was arrested and charged with assault as the robber hurt himself on the fence while escaping!
My ex-wife was in bed for the night with her new boyfriend. While they slept a thief broke in, robbed them of cash and goods and left. They knew nothing about it until they got up in the morning! And believe it or not… their dog must have slept through it too because it never made a sound!
When robbing they drug dogs! Or worse poison them. "
That is true, knew a lovely dobermann got poisoned and he'd guarded that farm for 8 years! Still, only me knows just where in my bed the gun is hidden, not side drawers or cabinet and been a freaking crack shot since 6 years old! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I was in a really really good mood I might stop my dogs from killing them. We have 3 Mastiffs, the smallest of the three is over 11 stone but then he is still a puppy. They might look slow and lumbering but believe me they can move like lightening! Once they latch on there is only one of two ways the jaws will open… because the dog decides to let go or shoot the dog dead. And be careful with the aim, anything other than an instant kill in the first shot and it’ll just piss dog off even more.
A friend of ours was visited by a robber while she and her boyfriend were snuggling on the sofa. The dog (jack Russell) raised the alarm and the boyfriend went for the intruder but he managed to get away. However the robber and his lookout were both caught. Oh yes, and the boyfriend was arrested and charged with assault as the robber hurt himself on the fence while escaping!
My ex-wife was in bed for the night with her new boyfriend. While they slept a thief broke in, robbed them of cash and goods and left. They knew nothing about it until they got up in the morning! And believe it or not… their dog must have slept through it too because it never made a sound!
When robbing they drug dogs! Or worse poison them.
That is true, knew a lovely dobermann got poisoned and he'd guarded that farm for 8 years! Still, only me knows just where in my bed the gun is hidden, not side drawers or cabinet and been a freaking crack shot since 6 years old! "
Yehh yehh billy the kids mrs lol |
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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago
warwickshire |
"And believe it or not… their dog must have slept through it too because it never made a sound!
"
Or it was scared. Contrary to popular belief, pet dogs (as opposed to guard dogs) are no braver than people, whilst they might have a good old bark at the postman whilst you are sitting in the kitchen with them, they are a whole lot less keen to challenge intruders when they are awoken in the dead of the night, alone. It's also why dogs that wake their owners by barking during a house fire are in the minority, most pooches will go and hide (and die).
And, as has been said, it's woefully easy to drug or poison a dog, I know of one particular way to incapacitate ANY dog even one in full-on flight, with an ordinary household item. (You'd need balls of steel to apply the technique though!) A dog that has bitten and latched on is also very vulnerable and easy to despatch by anyone prepared for its attack, though it's not so easy to prepare for an 11+stone dog that comes flying out of the dark, jaws a-snapping.
If you are going to keep anything to hand "just in case" you decide to confront an intruder, make it a large screwdriver. I am reliably assured that if you happen to find yourself under attack, you grab a screwdriver and ventilate someone, the CPS will be very reluctant to charge you - it's not unusual to be doing some DIY and have a screwdriver anywhere in the house. It's less easy to innocently have a breadknife or baseball bat in your bedroom.
Then again, knowing some of the characters on here......
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wot would u do if sum1 broke into ure home and you caught them in the act wot would u do!???
I tell be shit scared!,,lol,,,probably attack um with a chair! lol
"
I actually had this a few years back, i was laid in bed and i could hear someone downstairs, thought i was dreaming at first but then heard more noises, quietly went to the top of the stairs and could see shadows going by the open kitchen door and someone was moving stuff about, so being a coward i quietly went back into the bedroom and called the police told them i was in the house with 3 kids and there was someone in my house, police turned up quite quicky actually and it turned out to be my brother, he'd had a bust up with his mrs got pissed and decided to sleep on my sofa but made himself a sarnie first  fucking idiot |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I left my back door open for over two years for the dog to go in and out while i was at work.
I was never burgled. Rellies would go mad at me. I couldn't think of anything I valued so highly that it would ruin my life if someone took it.
Mind you I have nothing of value but I loved the dog deeply. He'd been very true and faithful to the family all of his 18 years.
When there was no family left to let him out I had no option but to carry on earning his 'chum' money and leaving the door for him to get out.
mmmmm If I was in when someone broke in i'd arm myself , hold my breath and hope they saw I have nowt n leave quick. If it's kids.... i'd call the police cos they like to stay as they've nowhere to go......
Mmmmmmmm Fight, Flight or Fuck ......
There's one or two from here i'd punch for the hell of it( if they are smaller than me ) and one or two i'd fuck .... No one i'd run from though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I left my back door open for over two years for the dog to go in and out while i was at work.
I was never burgled. Rellies would go mad at me. I couldn't think of anything I valued so highly that it would ruin my life if someone took it.
Mind you I have nothing of value but I loved the dog deeply. He'd been very true and faithful to the family all of his 18 years.
When there was no family left to let him out I had no option but to carry on earning his 'chum' money and leaving the door for him to get out.
mmmmm If I was in when someone broke in i'd arm myself , hold my breath and hope they saw I have nowt n leave quick. If it's kids.... i'd call the police cos they like to stay as they've nowhere to go......
Mmmmmmmm Fight, Flight or Fuck ......
There's one or two from here i'd punch for the hell of it( if they are smaller than me ) and one or two i'd fuck .... No one i'd run from though. "
Have you not though of getting a kennel or a dog flap? Your heating bills must be horrendous never mind the risk of robbery. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd never put a dog in a kennel with no one home.
A dog flap would have meant a hole in me door. He's dead now. What use a flap then ... pffft. "
Dogs surprisingly live quite well out side as the UK has a moderate climate. A Kennel would provide shelter from the rain. Alternatively you can always change your door if you don't like the dog flap..or get another dog. |
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