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How to cut male sex drive
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Hi all, I'm desperate to cut my sex drive and don't know how. If I don't I fear I could lose my mrs. Last night I tried to finger her in bed when she was asleep and she woke up and went mental. Any medication doctor could give me? Please help. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi all, I'm desperate to cut my sex drive and don't know how. If I don't I fear I could lose my mrs. Last night I tried to finger her in bed when she was asleep and she woke up and went mental. Any medication doctor could give me? Please help. "
Yes ask for androcur mix it with premarine that will stop any chance of getting turned on
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You fingered your wife while she was she was asleep???????? That's sexual abuse/assault!!!! No wonder she went mental!!! Are you surprised???   "
Good lord woman chill. It would have been abuse/assault had he continued. A partner doesn't have to physically ask for sexual intimacy. The wife was probably pissed at being woken up, not groped. |
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"First thing every morning and last thing at night......
Slam your cock in the fridge door.
A"
Lmao! 
On a serious note...
I personally would not/don't go mental if that happens. If I want his cock at any point then I too help myself..
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"You fingered your wife while she was she was asleep???????? That's sexual abuse/assault!!!! No wonder she went mental!!! Are you surprised???
Good lord woman chill. It would have been abuse/assault had he continued. A partner doesn't have to physically ask for sexual intimacy. The wife was probably pissed at being woken up, not groped."
Unless he was wearing gardening gloves at the time.
Scratchy!
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You fingered your wife while she was she was asleep???????? That's sexual abuse/assault!!!! No wonder she went mental!!! Are you surprised??? "
Bit dramatic perhaps. Mr D takes me in my sleep regularly.
I woke a guy up with a bj last month.
Should I add myself to a register? |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"You fingered your wife while she was she was asleep???????? That's sexual abuse/assault!!!! No wonder she went mental!!! Are you surprised???
Bit dramatic perhaps. Mr D takes me in my sleep regularly.
I woke a guy up with a bj last month.
Should I add myself to a register?"
No - but do you have a register we could sign up to for such services? 
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You fingered your wife while she was she was asleep???????? That's sexual abuse/assault!!!! No wonder she went mental!!! Are you surprised???
Bit dramatic perhaps. Mr D takes me in my sleep regularly.
I woke a guy up with a bj last month.
Should I add myself to a register?"
I've had this done to me twice without consent and in my sleep so no I'm not being dramatic at all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"First thing every morning and last thing at night......
Slam your cock in the fridge door.
A"
Is this the part where he makes it up to her by saying 'my love for you is like butter. My heart melts?' Lol.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You fingered your wife while she was she was asleep???????? That's sexual abuse/assault!!!! No wonder she went mental!!! Are you surprised???
Bit dramatic perhaps. Mr D takes me in my sleep regularly.
I woke a guy up with a bj last month.
Should I add myself to a register?
I've had this done to me twice without consent and in my sleep so no I'm not being dramatic at all"
Be careful who you sleep with then, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You fingered your wife while she was she was asleep???????? That's sexual abuse/assault!!!! No wonder she went mental!!! Are you surprised???
Bit dramatic perhaps. Mr D takes me in my sleep regularly.
I woke a guy up with a bj last month.
Should I add myself to a register?
I've had this done to me twice without consent and in my sleep so no I'm not being dramatic at all"
Were they partners? did yiu report them? |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"You fingered your wife while she was she was asleep???????? That's sexual abuse/assault!!!! No wonder she went mental!!! Are you surprised???
Good lord woman chill. It would have been abuse/assault had he continued. A partner doesn't have to physically ask for sexual intimacy. The wife was probably pissed at being woken up, not groped."
The same law applies with partners as with strangers. Since she was asleep she was not in a position to give consent.
Personally, he would be walking with a limp had he tried it with me. It's more than taking liberties. How can you trust a person you are in a relationship with if you cannot sleep unmolested? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You fingered your wife while she was she was asleep???????? That's sexual abuse/assault!!!! No wonder she went mental!!! Are you surprised???
Good lord woman chill. It would have been abuse/assault had he continued. A partner doesn't have to physically ask for sexual intimacy. The wife was probably pissed at being woken up, not groped.
The same law applies with partners as with strangers. Since she was asleep she was not in a position to give consent.
Personally, he would be walking with a limp had he tried it with me. It's more than taking liberties. How can you trust a person you are in a relationship with if you cannot sleep unmolested? "
What??dear god what is the world coming to, so if I was married and ce up behind them and pinched their arse that would be indecent assault?? What rubbish |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"First thing every morning and last thing at night......
Slam your cock in the fridge door.
A
Lmao!
On a serious note...
I personally would not/don't go mental if that happens. If I want his cock at any point then I too help myself..
"
Clearly that is down to your mutual trust and inferred consent. Nothing wrong with that.
However, the op stated that she 'went mental' so in his relationship this is evidently not the case. The fact that he used it as an example of how out of control his libido is would suggest he sees it as overstepping the bounds of his relationship with his partner. |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"You fingered your wife while she was she was asleep???????? That's sexual abuse/assault!!!! No wonder she went mental!!! Are you surprised???
Good lord woman chill. It would have been abuse/assault had he continued. A partner doesn't have to physically ask for sexual intimacy. The wife was probably pissed at being woken up, not groped.
The same law applies with partners as with strangers. Since she was asleep she was not in a position to give consent.
Personally, he would be walking with a limp had he tried it with me. It's more than taking liberties. How can you trust a person you are in a relationship with if you cannot sleep unmolested?
What??dear god what is the world coming to, so if I was married and ce up behind them and pinched their arse that would be indecent assault?? What rubbish "
No not the case. Read my post after that. Each relationship is different. In the op's case this was unacceptable. In other people's relationships it may be fine. Context is everything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"First thing every morning and last thing at night......
Slam your cock in the fridge door.
A
Lmao!
On a serious note...
I personally would not/don't go mental if that happens. If I want his cock at any point then I too help myself..
Clearly that is down to your mutual trust and inferred consent. Nothing wrong with that.
However, the op stated that she 'went mental' so in his relationship this is evidently not the case. The fact that he used it as an example of how out of control his libido is would suggest he sees it as overstepping the bounds of his relationship with his partner. "
And how does the law measure mutual trust and jnferred consent?? It's far to ambiguous, I think he over stepped the mark, but he didn't break the law |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi all, I'm desperate to cut my sex drive and don't know how. If I don't I fear I could lose my mrs. Last night I tried to finger her in bed when she was asleep and she woke up and went mental. Any medication doctor could give me? Please help. "
Wear a pair of large boxing gloves, that'll stop you fingering her.... Infact give her a pair a pair just incase it doesn't  |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"First thing every morning and last thing at night......
Slam your cock in the fridge door.
A
Lmao!
On a serious note...
I personally would not/don't go mental if that happens. If I want his cock at any point then I too help myself..
Clearly that is down to your mutual trust and inferred consent. Nothing wrong with that.
However, the op stated that she 'went mental' so in his relationship this is evidently not the case. The fact that he used it as an example of how out of control his libido is would suggest he sees it as overstepping the bounds of his relationship with his partner.
And how does the law measure mutual trust and jnferred consent?? It's far to ambiguous, I think he over stepped the mark, but he didn't break the law "
If he continued to behave like this in spite of her obvious objections it might possibly be the case. It could be seen as a form of domestic abuse. It would certainly give her adequate grounds for divorce were they married. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You fingered your wife while she was she was asleep???????? That's sexual abuse/assault!!!! No wonder she went mental!!! Are you surprised???
Good lord woman chill. It would have been abuse/assault had he continued. A partner doesn't have to physically ask for sexual intimacy. The wife was probably pissed at being woken up, not groped.
The same law applies with partners as with strangers. Since she was asleep she was not in a position to give consent.
Personally, he would be walking with a limp had he tried it with me. It's more than taking liberties. How can you trust a person you are in a relationship with if you cannot sleep unmolested? "
Perhaps they should rewrite the wedding certificate stating everyone has to physically ask for sexual intimacy on every occasion or the other partner can allege assault. Ridiculous.
It's about a couple's personal boundaries. One couple may have decided sleeping means a no go area and another may welcome it. For most it may be dependant upon circumstances: for example sleep for new mothers is precious. A guy disturbing that deserves his knackers knackered  . |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Hi all, I'm desperate to cut my sex drive and don't know how. If I don't I fear I could lose my mrs. Last night I tried to finger her in bed when she was asleep and she woke up and went mental. Any medication doctor could give me? Please help.
Wear a pair of large boxing gloves, that'll stop you fingering her.... Infact give her a pair a pair just incase it doesn't "
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"First thing every morning and last thing at night......
Slam your cock in the fridge door.
A
Lmao!
On a serious note...
I personally would not/don't go mental if that happens. If I want his cock at any point then I too help myself..
Clearly that is down to your mutual trust and inferred consent. Nothing wrong with that.
However, the op stated that she 'went mental' so in his relationship this is evidently not the case. The fact that he used it as an example of how out of control his libido is would suggest he sees it as overstepping the bounds of his relationship with his partner.
And how does the law measure mutual trust and jnferred consent?? It's far to ambiguous, I think he over stepped the mark, but he didn't break the law
If he continued to behave like this in spite of her obvious objections it might possibly be the case. It could be seen as a form of domestic abuse. It would certainly give her adequate grounds for divorce were they married. "
If he continued!! That's the point he didn't, I can't condone what he has done but I am guessing most married men have done the same |
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"First thing every morning and last thing at night......
Slam your cock in the fridge door.
A
Lmao!
On a serious note...
I personally would not/don't go mental if that happens. If I want his cock at any point then I too help myself..
Clearly that is down to your mutual trust and inferred consent. Nothing wrong with that.
However, the op stated that she 'went mental' so in his relationship this is evidently not the case. The fact that he used it as an example of how out of control his libido is would suggest he sees it as overstepping the bounds of his relationship with his partner. "
I can see where you're coming from when you put it like that. My response was a personal one from what is the norm in my relationship. If he knew she would go mental then no, he shouldn't do it. We don't know their relationship so none of us should be quick to judge.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You fingered your wife while she was she was asleep???????? That's sexual abuse/assault!!!! No wonder she went mental!!! Are you surprised??? "
thats what I thought as well |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"First thing every morning and last thing at night......
Slam your cock in the fridge door.
A
Lmao!
On a serious note...
I personally would not/don't go mental if that happens. If I want his cock at any point then I too help myself..
Clearly that is down to your mutual trust and inferred consent. Nothing wrong with that.
However, the op stated that she 'went mental' so in his relationship this is evidently not the case. The fact that he used it as an example of how out of control his libido is would suggest he sees it as overstepping the bounds of his relationship with his partner.
And how does the law measure mutual trust and jnferred consent?? It's far to ambiguous, I think he over stepped the mark, but he didn't break the law
If he continued to behave like this in spite of her obvious objections it might possibly be the case. It could be seen as a form of domestic abuse. It would certainly give her adequate grounds for divorce were they married.
If he continued!! That's the point he didn't, I can't condone what he has done but I am guessing most married men have done the same "
As I stated previously, the op clearly saw that he was overstepping the bounds of his relationship. He is worried after this that he may lose his wife. The inference being that she may divorce him. This is, therefore, an ongoing problem not merely a 'one-off' mistake. There may well have been other incidents whether she was awake or asleep where he has pushed his luck.
He recognises it as a problem and may be disgusted with his behaviour towards her. Although without him illuminating us further this is only supposition. |
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Whatever happened to a kiss, or a cuddle, most couples would think that normal, certainly wouldn't have too many complaints? Perhaps the OP had been on here ( notice he's on as a single guy ), got a little "worked" up, perhaps he had been in the chat rooms, whilst she was upstairs trying to sleep?Perhaps his misses doesn't know about his single profile? Now that would, I suspect make her a little miffed! Waking someone up like that? More than a little insensitive and disrespectful....or am I being obtuse?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ive deleted posts. Can we please leave the OPs profile out of the discussion and stick to the issues in the post. Thanks."
My point exactly.
The op has recognised he h's a problem which is a good first step. He now needs to seek professional advice (as opposed to singers opinions). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe he only thinks he has a problem because of her over the top reaction to him touching her,ive been woken up like this many times by my husband,sometimes im well up for it and sometimes ill tell him to sod off,never would I assume hes a sex offender
He should just talk to his wife instead of posting in here and made to feel like some sort of attempted rapist
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe he only thinks he has a problem because of her over the top reaction to him touching her,ive been woken up like this many times by my husband,sometimes im well up for it and sometimes ill tell him to sod off,never would I assume hes a sex offender
He should just talk to his wife instead of posting in here and made to feel like some sort of attempted rapist
"
I'm glad you said that. Happy to hear it's not only Mr D and I who have an assaulted/sex attacker dynamic in our relationship, apparently that's what it us afterall.
Maybe I'll hold off on going to the police over historical offences for all the times he tried and I slapped his hand. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe he only thinks he has a problem because of her over the top reaction to him touching her,ive been woken up like this many times by my husband,sometimes im well up for it and sometimes ill tell him to sod off,never would I assume hes a sex offender
He should just talk to his wife instead of posting in here and made to feel like some sort of attempted rapist
"
Good advice. If he's come back to read the thread I bet he wished he hadn't posted! |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Maybe he only thinks he has a problem because of her over the top reaction to him touching her,ive been woken up like this many times by my husband,sometimes im well up for it and sometimes ill tell him to sod off,never would I assume hes a sex offender
He should just talk to his wife instead of posting in here and made to feel like some sort of attempted rapist
I'm glad you said that. Happy to hear it's not only Mr D and I who have an assaulted/sex attacker dynamic in our relationship, apparently that's what it us afterall.
Maybe I'll hold off on going to the police over historical offences for all the times he tried and I slapped his hand."
He is clearly concerned about this and it us evidently an ongoing problem. He cites a single event as an example of it. It does suggest there are other issues.
Other people's relationships may have a different dynamic. Obviously, his wife does not accept such approaches. It has got to the point where he is concerned that it may end his relationship.
He sees there is a problem. Now he needs to address it and he's unlikely to get the help he needs on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You fingered your wife while she was she was asleep???????? That's sexual abuse/assault!!!! No wonder she went mental!!! Are you surprised??? "
Why is it.. I'd have thought it Mmmm. It's a great way to wake up xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You fingered your wife while she was she was asleep???????? That's sexual abuse/assault!!!! No wonder she went mental!!! Are you surprised???
Bit dramatic perhaps. Mr D takes me in my sleep regularly.
I woke a guy up with a bj last month.
Should I add myself to a register?"
Sleep overs at yours  |
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"Hi all, I'm desperate to cut my sex drive and don't know how. If I don't I fear I could lose my mrs. Last night I tried to finger her in bed when she was asleep and she woke up and went mental. Any medication doctor could give me? Please help. "
. Could send you a pic of my mother inlaw take one look at that when your horny will soon put you off lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dont talk ridiculous!! Sexual abuse assault lol are you serious?
Iv been woken in the past by previous partners touching my cock while asleep.
Get real woman! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"First thing every morning and last thing at night......
Slam your cock in the fridge door.
A
Lmao!
On a serious note...
I personally would not/don't go mental if that happens. If I want his cock at any point then I too help myself..
Clearly that is down to your mutual trust and inferred consent. Nothing wrong with that.
However, the op stated that she 'went mental' so in his relationship this is evidently not the case. The fact that he used it as an example of how out of control his libido is would suggest he sees it as overstepping the bounds of his relationship with his partner.
And how does the law measure mutual trust and jnferred consent?? It's far to ambiguous, I think he over stepped the mark, but he didn't break the law
If he continued to behave like this in spite of her obvious objections it might possibly be the case. It could be seen as a form of domestic abuse. It would certainly give her adequate grounds for divorce were they married. "
I agree. He infers they don't have the kind of relationship where sexual advances would be appreciated at night. Therefore he shouldn't be touching her as it is against her will. (Or it would be if she was awake to be asked.)
Seems odd for people on here to try to compare their relationships with a bad relationship. Clearly couples on here will be much more receptive to sexual actions.
To suggest she was over reacting is a bit crap. Those are her boundaries. It's not ok to disrespect other people's boundaries. |
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"Hi all, I'm desperate to cut my sex drive and don't know how. If I don't I fear I could lose my mrs. Last night I tried to finger her in bed when she was asleep and she woke up and went mental. Any medication doctor could give me? Please help. "
cut. I'd rather boost my sexy drive all the sexies on here |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"First thing every morning and last thing at night......
Slam your cock in the fridge door.
A
Lmao!
On a serious note...
I personally would not/don't go mental if that happens. If I want his cock at any point then I too help myself..
Clearly that is down to your mutual trust and inferred consent. Nothing wrong with that.
However, the op stated that she 'went mental' so in his relationship this is evidently not the case. The fact that he used it as an example of how out of control his libido is would suggest he sees it as overstepping the bounds of his relationship with his partner.
And how does the law measure mutual trust and jnferred consent?? It's far to ambiguous, I think he over stepped the mark, but he didn't break the law
If he continued to behave like this in spite of her obvious objections it might possibly be the case. It could be seen as a form of domestic abuse. It would certainly give her adequate grounds for divorce were they married.
I agree. He infers they don't have the kind of relationship where sexual advances would be appreciated at night. Therefore he shouldn't be touching her as it is against her will. (Or it would be if she was awake to be asked.)
Seems odd for people on here to try to compare their relationships with a bad relationship. Clearly couples on here will be much more receptive to sexual actions.
To suggest she was over reacting is a bit crap. Those are her boundaries. It's not ok to disrespect other people's boundaries."
The idea that all women should be receptive to all sexual advances at all times within a relationship is not a particularly palatable one to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think its been suggested that all women have to be receptive to mens advances? People have made all sorts of assumptions about the OPs relationship because of one post,As I said he should talk to his wife about the situation and not a bunch of strangers that have no idea about the dynamics of their relationship at all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"First thing every morning and last thing at night......
Slam your cock in the fridge door.
A
Lmao!
On a serious note...
I personally would not/don't go mental if that happens. If I want his cock at any point then I too help myself..
Clearly that is down to your mutual trust and inferred consent. Nothing wrong with that.
However, the op stated that she 'went mental' so in his relationship this is evidently not the case. The fact that he used it as an example of how out of control his libido is would suggest he sees it as overstepping the bounds of his relationship with his partner.
And how does the law measure mutual trust and jnferred consent?? It's far to ambiguous, I think he over stepped the mark, but he didn't break the law
If he continued to behave like this in spite of her obvious objections it might possibly be the case. It could be seen as a form of domestic abuse. It would certainly give her adequate grounds for divorce were they married.
I agree. He infers they don't have the kind of relationship where sexual advances would be appreciated at night. Therefore he shouldn't be touching her as it is against her will. (Or it would be if she was awake to be asked.)
Seems odd for people on here to try to compare their relationships with a bad relationship. Clearly couples on here will be much more receptive to sexual actions.
To suggest she was over reacting is a bit crap. Those are her boundaries. It's not ok to disrespect other people's boundaries.
The idea that all women should be receptive to all sexual advances at all times within a relationship is not a particularly palatable one to me. "
Agree! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"First thing every morning and last thing at night......
Slam your cock in the fridge door.
A
Lmao!
On a serious note...
I personally would not/don't go mental if that happens. If I want his cock at any point then I too help myself..
Clearly that is down to your mutual trust and inferred consent. Nothing wrong with that.
However, the op stated that she 'went mental' so in his relationship this is evidently not the case. The fact that he used it as an example of how out of control his libido is would suggest he sees it as overstepping the bounds of his relationship with his partner.
And how does the law measure mutual trust and jnferred consent?? It's far to ambiguous, I think he over stepped the mark, but he didn't break the law "
Law requires explicit consent so yes he did |
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"Hi all, I'm desperate to cut my sex drive and don't know how. If I don't I fear I could lose my mrs. Last night I tried to finger her in bed when she was asleep and she woke up and went mental. Any medication doctor could give me? Please help. "
Leaches in your cod-piece |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im not sure people are saying women should always be receptive. Nobody said that no.
I am as guilty as my partner for this kind of offence and yes when he's been working or tired I've had a very shitty, 'not in the mood' and as I love my sleep have on occasion growled 'get off' possibly you could construe this as going off at the deep end. Which is all the OP said happened, nothing more.
I find it far more unpalatable to hear this man being branded a sex attacker by a fab judge and jury based on that one post.
As we've also had unwanted advances from each other that have resulted in frayed moods I guess both of us are sex attackers too.
The idea of explicit consent pays no heed to how most long-term relationships work because you simply never ask for explicit consent, thus you are constantly sexually abusing each other? Do you honestly believe a law on consent was designed to reach so far that if my husband asks for sex and then an hour later in post-coital glow I instigate sex without asking i might be treading a fine line with the law because I never said 'can I?'
It's very, very different from applying such a term when actual sex attacks occur. Be that randomly, or in a domestic setting.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all, I'm desperate to cut my sex drive and don't know how. If I don't I fear I could lose my mrs. Last night I tried to finger her in bed when she was asleep and she woke up and went mental. Any medication doctor could give me? Please help. "
Get married |
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"Hi all, I'm desperate to cut my sex drive and don't know how. If I don't I fear I could lose my mrs. Last night I tried to finger her in bed when she was asleep and she woke up and went mental. Any medication doctor could give me? Please help.
Get married"
 |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Im not sure people are saying women should always be receptive. Nobody said that no.
I am as guilty as my partner for this kind of offence and yes when he's been working or tired I've had a very shitty, 'not in the mood' and as I love my sleep have on occasion growled 'get off' possibly you could construe this as going off at the deep end. Which is all the OP said happened, nothing more.
I find it far more unpalatable to hear this man being branded a sex attacker by a fab judge and jury based on that one post.
As we've also had unwanted advances from each other that have resulted in frayed moods I guess both of us are sex attackers too.
The idea of explicit consent pays no heed to how most long-term relationships work because you simply never ask for explicit consent, thus you are constantly sexually abusing each other? Do you honestly believe a law on consent was designed to reach so far that if my husband asks for sex and then an hour later in post-coital glow I instigate sex without asking i might be treading a fine line with the law because I never said 'can I?'
It's very, very different from applying such a term when actual sex attacks occur. Be that randomly, or in a domestic setting.
"
I never said explicit consent but it can sometimes happen that it is clear the woman (it is in this case) is not receptive to those kinds of advances. He was clearly worried enough about it to post it. Therefore, he most likely understood that it was not consensual. I have no idea how long he has been with her but I would suggest that it's long enough to know what is acceptable to her. So if he has begun behaving like this then it could be construed as abuse. His relationship with her cannot be equated with others on here - it is not like for like. As I said earlier, context is everything.
At least he has recognised it as a problem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi all, I'm desperate to cut my sex drive and don't know how. If I don't I fear I could lose my mrs. Last night I tried to finger her in bed when she was asleep and she woke up and went mental. Any medication doctor could give me? Please help. "
Castration Rings from the agricultural store  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As you are on here as a single guy - does she know? Unequal levels of sexual desire within a partnership/marriage can be very damaging to the relationship, so you either need to have a good talk with her about it, or have a good wank as and when required. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im not sure people are saying women should always be receptive. Nobody said that no.
I am as guilty as my partner for this kind of offence and yes when he's been working or tired I've had a very shitty, 'not in the mood' and as I love my sleep have on occasion growled 'get off' possibly you could construe this as going off at the deep end. Which is all the OP said happened, nothing more.
I find it far more unpalatable to hear this man being branded a sex attacker by a fab judge and jury based on that one post.
As we've also had unwanted advances from each other that resulted in frayed moods I guess both of us are sex attackers too.
The idea of explicit consent pays no heed to how most long-term relationships work because you simply never ask for explicit consent, thus you are constantly sexually abusing each other? Do you honestly believe a law on consent was designed to reach so far that if my husband asks for sex and then an hour later in post-coital glow I instigate sex without asking i might be treading a fine line with the law because I never said 'can I?'
It's very, very different from applying such a term when actual sex attacks occur. Be that randomly, or in a domestic setting.
I never said explicit consent but it can sometimes happen that it is clear the woman (it is in this case) is not receptive to those kinds of advances. He was clearly worried enough about it to post it. Therefore, he most likely understood that it was not consensual. I have no idea how long he has been with her but I would suggest that it's long enough to know what is acceptable to her. So if he has begun behaving like this then it could be construed as abuse. His relationship with her cannot be equated with others on here - it is not like for like. As I said earlier, context is everything.
At least he has recognised it as a problem. "
No didn't suggest you said explicit consent but someone else did, im addressing various comments made.
I think there is very real danger of 'normal' marital spats over sex diluting the seriousness of actual assaults by lumping them all together under the banner of 'explicit consent' not given.
I find the dogmatic approach to these things stifling and often with no regard for common sense. |
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By *rben112Man
over a year ago
worcester |
"You fingered your wife while she was she was asleep???????? That's sexual abuse/assault!!!! No wonder she went mental!!! Are you surprised???
Bit dramatic perhaps. Mr D takes me in my sleep regularly.
I woke a guy up with a bj last month.
Should I add myself to a register?"
only in my dreams |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Im not sure people are saying women should always be receptive. Nobody said that no.
I am as guilty as my partner for this kind of offence and yes when he's been working or tired I've had a very shitty, 'not in the mood' and as I love my sleep have on occasion growled 'get off' possibly you could construe this as going off at the deep end. Which is all the OP said happened, nothing more.
I find it far more unpalatable to hear this man being branded a sex attacker by a fab judge and jury based on that one post.
As we've also had unwanted advances from each other that resulted in frayed moods I guess both of us are sex attackers too.
The idea of explicit consent pays no heed to how most long-term relationships work because you simply never ask for explicit consent, thus you are constantly sexually abusing each other? Do you honestly believe a law on consent was designed to reach so far that if my husband asks for sex and then an hour later in post-coital glow I instigate sex without asking i might be treading a fine line with the law because I never said 'can I?'
It's very, very different from applying such a term when actual sex attacks occur. Be that randomly, or in a domestic setting.
I never said explicit consent but it can sometimes happen that it is clear the woman (it is in this case) is not receptive to those kinds of advances. He was clearly worried enough about it to post it. Therefore, he most likely understood that it was not consensual. I have no idea how long he has been with her but I would suggest that it's long enough to know what is acceptable to her. So if he has begun behaving like this then it could be construed as abuse. His relationship with her cannot be equated with others on here - it is not like for like. As I said earlier, context is everything.
At least he has recognised it as a problem.
No didn't suggest you said explicit consent but someone else did, im addressing various comments made.
I think there is very real danger of 'normal' marital spats over sex diluting the seriousness of actual assaults by lumping them all together under the banner of 'explicit consent' not given.
I find the dogmatic approach to these things stifling and often with no regard for common sense."
Yes I see what you mean. It's certainly not a cut and dried issue. Though I think that men who do regularly overstep the bounds know full well that they are being abusive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
im more amazed that the OP sees fingering his missus while asleep as overstepping any relationship boundaries, but never mentioned the fact he is on here looking for extra marital affairs as doing so....
where does one draw the line?
i am actively encouraged to wake V sexually, rather than any other way, and she is quite welcome to do so with me lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I woke one of my exs up one night, not fingering but rubbing her clit. She woke up, loved it and we had some great sex.
Did the same thing 6 months later and she went apeshit.
I don't know what the moral of the story is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I woke one of my exs up one night, not fingering but rubbing her clit. She woke up, loved it and we had some great sex.
Did the same thing 6 months later and she went apeshit.
I don't know what the moral of the story is."
The longer she stayed with you the more she loathed you touching her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
we made a promise to each other that the first to wake up would wake the other with oral sex.
im glad she woke up when she did, cuz i was sure she was nearly choking.... |
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"I woke one of my exs up one night, not fingering but rubbing her clit. She woke up, loved it and we had some great sex.
Did the same thing 6 months later and she went apeshit.
I don't know what the moral of the story is."
rub a sleeping clit once shame on her. rub the same sleeping clit 6month later protect your face&ball area. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I woke one of my exs up one night, not fingering but rubbing her clit. She woke up, loved it and we had some great sex.
Did the same thing 6 months later and she went apeshit.
I don't know what the moral of the story is.
The longer she stayed with you the more she loathed you touching her. "
I love how you sugar-coated that turd. Pmsl.
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"im more amazed that the OP sees fingering his missus while asleep as overstepping any relationship boundaries, but never mentioned the fact he is on here looking for extra marital affairs as doing so....
where does one draw the line?
i am actively encouraged to wake V sexually, rather than any other way, and she is quite welcome to do so with me lol"
It was mentioned very early doors but I removed the posts and asked people to stick to the OP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
It was mentioned very early doors but I removed the posts and asked people to stick to the OP
And bloody hell, Ive just realised that they did "
lol. amazeballs |
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I am not proud of what I did, I am at the end of my wits trying to work out why I did it. I know it was assault. I have no wish to lose my family over this matter. Asking for advice to help me and my wife. Some people on here are so lucky they've got a great physical side to their partnerships, swinging, dogging, flashing what ever floats your boat. I have a great sexy wife who's worked hard to lose best part of 3 stone since having the kids and it kills me that she doesn't find herself attractive, in fact she hates her body. I can't lay in bed or see her dressing without getting a hard on and yes it is love not just lust.
Just be grateful for what you've got. My sex life consists of once or twice every 3 or 4 months, some of you have that much a night if what you read on here is true. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi all, I'm desperate to cut my sex drive and don't know how. If I don't I fear I could lose my mrs. Last night I tried to finger her in bed when she was asleep and she woke up and went mental. Any medication doctor could give me? Please help.
Wear a pair of large boxing gloves, that'll stop you fingering her.... Infact
give her a pair a pair just incase it
doesn't "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You tried to initiate sex with the woman you love,I don't see anything wrong with that,you need to have a good long chat with her about what will make her feel better about herself as it sounds as if she has self esteem issues,concentrate on her wants and needs for a while and she may become a bit more responsive to you,being on this site will not help you focus on her |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"I am not proud of what I did, I am at the end of my wits trying to work out why I did it. I know it was assault. I have no wish to lose my family over this matter. Asking for advice to help me and my wife. Some people on here are so lucky they've got a great physical side to their partnerships, swinging, dogging, flashing what ever floats your boat. I have a great sexy wife who's worked hard to lose best part of 3 stone since having the kids and it kills me that she doesn't find herself attractive, in fact she hates her body. I can't lay in bed or see her dressing without getting a hard on and yes it is love not just lust.
Just be grateful for what you've got. My sex life consists of once or twice every 3 or 4 months, some of you have that much a night if what you read on here is true."
How old are the children? If they are quite young she could simply be knackered, especially if she works and has to take care of the house too. Many men think they are sharing the household chores but often over estimate how much they do. Try giving her some 'me' time away from the house with no time limit.
Have you tried wooing or dating her without any expectations of sex and no mention of sex at all? That way she can feel genuinely wanted. And it will take more than one meal out. Make it a regular thing. Tell her how lovely she looks regularly without any hint of expecting sex because of it.
Offer her a gentle, non - sexual back rub so she can get used to you touching her again without her becoming tensed up wondering if you expect sex
Do all this without any expectations. Just show your love.
Stop trying to find other women to shag.
Make your priority the woman you love and the mother of your children. Not the needs of your cock. It won't shrivel up and die.
Contact Relate or find a marital guidance counsellor. There will be underlying reasons for your wife's loss of libido.
Respect her.
And be patient.
Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
may sound silly, but start dating again.
go out for meals, walks in the park, and so on, like you used to when you first started going out.
dont ask for anything, dont expect anything
it may well rekindle the spark within that she had when you first met.
if it doesnt, then you need to make serious family choices and decision.
you may well not lose your family over the sexual assault thing, but i can assure you, other things WILL cause you to lose it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You tried to initiate sex with the woman you love,I don't see anything wrong with that,you need to have a good long chat with her about what will make her feel better about herself as it sounds as if she has self esteem issues,concentrate on her wants and needs for a while and she may become a bit more responsive to you,being on this site will not help you focus on her"
He did it in a way that requires a lot of trust though and given he's cheating on her it may be she's picking up on that and doesn't trust him any more.
Or she knows and is just staying for the kids and so finds the thought of being touched by him now repulsive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am not proud of what I did, I am at the end of my wits trying to work out why I did it. I know it was assault. I have no wish to lose my family over this matter. Asking for advice to help me and my wife. Some people on here are so lucky they've got a great physical side to their partnerships, swinging, dogging, flashing what ever floats your boat. I have a great sexy wife who's worked hard to lose best part of 3 stone since having the kids and it kills me that she doesn't find herself attractive, in fact she hates her body. I can't lay in bed or see her dressing without getting a hard on and yes it is love not just lust.
Just be grateful for what you've got. My sex life consists of once or twice every 3 or 4 months, some of you have that much a night if what you read on here is true."
That was me too, I lost all interest so it's not all perfect. I was your wife for three years. I really hated my body too. Eventually I decided life was too short and that I'd regret my sex life being over at 38.On the whole my husband was patient with a complete lack of sex but that doesn't mean he didn't try it on when I really didn't want sex. That doesn't mean I was assaulted.
Please don't beat yourself to about what you did. Apologise and try to build bridges. The key thing is to keep talking and show her love. Express how great she looks without going overboard, and not just when she's spent 2 hours getting ready.
Do you ever just show her affection but with no expectation of sex? I used to love that.
Just cuddles but made clear you weren't wanting to have sex. Does you make one another feel special sometimes?
Doesn't have to be anything dramatic, a walk alone together in a park, a picnic, a popcorn and movie night in? A night out even where she dresses up and feels sexy.
Don't know what feasible in terms of alone time with your children but try to make even a little time together.
Keeping connected to her in other ways and lots of talking will hopefully get yo
u out of the other side of this unscathed.
Good luck.
|
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"First thing every morning and last thing at night......
Slam your cock in the fridge door.
A
Lmao!
On a serious note...
I personally would not/don't go mental if that happens. If I want his cock at any point then I too help myself..
"
|
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"I am not proud of what I did, I am at the end of my wits trying to work out why I did it. I know it was assault. I have no wish to lose my family over this matter. Asking for advice to help me and my wife. Some people on here are so lucky they've got a great physical side to their partnerships, swinging, dogging, flashing what ever floats your boat. I have a great sexy wife who's worked hard to lose best part of 3 stone since having the kids and it kills me that she doesn't find herself attractive, in fact she hates her body. I can't lay in bed or see her dressing without getting a hard on and yes it is love not just lust.
Just be grateful for what you've got. My sex life consists of once or twice every 3 or 4 months, some of you have that much a night if what you read on here is true."
I feel for you then.....perhaps you should talk to your wife, to get over her body issues, tell her how much she means to you, make her feel special, she clearly is to you! You fingering her asleep, is hardly conveying that. I wish you well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The only person that can decide whether it was assault is the woman involved.
We know nothing of her, their relationship and it's boundaries!
But if this is a real problem it's a visit to the GP for a referral for professional help. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Actually only the law and a court case could decide if it was assault. It's not helpful or very fair therefore to consider him a sex attacker, for the same reasons you stated, nobody knows the facts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Actually only the law and a court case could decide if it was assault. It's not helpful or very fair therefore to consider him a sex attacker, for the same reasons you stated, nobody knows the facts."
As a woman, I decide who, how and when, anyone has the right to touch me! And if I feel I have been violated, I don't need legal justification to label it assault.
But at no point have I suggest this man is a sex attacker, quite the opposite. I suggest that only those involved can know the true facts and make a personal judgement as to what needs to be done, if anything. |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Actually only the law and a court case could decide if it was assault. It's not helpful or very fair therefore to consider him a sex attacker, for the same reasons you stated, nobody knows the facts.
As a woman, I decide who, how and when, anyone has the right to touch me! And if I feel I have been violated, I don't need legal justification to label it assault.
But at no point have I suggest this man is a sex attacker, quite the opposite. I suggest that only those involved can know the true facts and make a personal judgement as to what needs to be done, if anything. "
There was quite a bit of discussion on this yesterday. Take a look - some interesting points of view. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
After waiting for you to come back to the thread I will say...your sex drive sounds normal to me.
I don't know your relationship obviously but for us groping is all part of being in a relationship and being woken up this way is something we enjoy, and although sometimes I tell him to pack it in if I want more sleep it isn't anything sinister like suggested.
The only time it would be a problem is if your wife had told you she never wants to be woken up like this.
There is some good advice in the last couple of hours, most women like foreplay to last the whole day and that doesn't have to be sexual.
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Maybe he only thinks he has a problem because of her over the top reaction to him touching her,ive been woken up like this many times by my husband,sometimes im well up for it and sometimes ill tell him to sod off,never would I assume hes a sex offender
He should just talk to his wife instead of posting in here and made to feel like some sort of attempted rapist
"
Fully agree, I personally love being woken in a sexual way and love waking a partner sucking his cock too. Is the alternative giving consent before going to sleep? "Darling I wouldn't mind you fingering me first thing tomorrow morning but not on sayurdsy?" Or " sorry love but I don't want you sucking my cock in the morning I feel violated" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As you are on here as a single guy - does she know? Unequal levels of sexual desire within a partnership/marriage can be very damaging to the relationship, so you either need to have a good talk with her about it, or have a good wank as and when required."
extremely well said! the worse thing he could have done as far as his marriage is concerned was to join fab.
eileen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In a healthy relationship , what the op did is normal . We often do this , and actively encourage it .
As some have said , if the man or woman object , it shouldn't happen . But there's a bigger issue in this case , which needs to be resolved .
As does the lack of desire for sex , once every few months ?
Anyone suggesting assault etc.... Pfffftttt
Crazy talk , the whole relationship is crap if ones partner feels this way .
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In this situation I'd be in jail by now. My wife is a very heavy sleeper and I will often have sex with her while she asleep.
Most times she will wake towards the end, but often she will have no idea until the next day.
She's fine with it and even calls it "sleepy sex". Admittidly its not much fun, but it's better than a Wank.
To the OP I would suggest a pile of socks by the bed or start taking her contraceptives. Yes you will grow breasts, but your sex drive will plummet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been following this post, and its taken until now for me to be able to put something coherent together.
I see this as having two sides:
1) The OP's wife wasn't able to consent to what happened.... Could he have handled his urges differently? Yes, I believe he could. But for me his wife, someone who isn't, I don't believe, privy to this thread, is the only person who can say whether she has an issue with the consent. Until that happens, its just a man fingering his wife.
2) The title of the OP has been something that has gotten me thinking, we are all adults who enjoy a fair amount of sex. I know I have a sex drive which is high, its why I have sex toys for when I'm not with my OH. But should someone have to slow their sex drive down? I know I couldn't. Yes I have times where my libido goes and spends some time with the gnomes but most of the time I'm quite the opposite, as my OH can attest to. Whilst I don't condone the OP being on here without his wife's knowledge, I do somewhat sympathise with his situation.
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Jeremy - did you have sexual contact with your wife while she was asleep?
Jeremy - lets go to those all important lie detector results.
(Opens envelope while sneering at cringing guest.)
Jeremy - well well well! You said you didn't, right in front of this cleverly picked audience of women and students. Well you lying piece of rubbish, you did! I hope your proud of yourself? Lets get graham on the stage so we can ridicule you and make it look professional.
Guest - (looks at his £80 trainers) I had needs innit? F&CK IT, I'm going back to drinkin. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In this situation I'd be in jail by now. My wife is a very heavy sleeper and I will often have sex with her while she asleep.
Most times she will wake towards the end, but often she will have no idea until the next day.
She's fine with it and even calls it "sleepy sex". Admittidly its not much fun, but it's better than a Wank.
To the OP I would suggest a pile of socks by the bed or start taking her contraceptives. Yes you will grow breasts, but your sex drive will plummet. "
If having sex with a sleeping woman is "not much fun" why do it? |
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Probably not a great way of putting it. Its obviously more fun when she's wide awake and very interactive.
While she sleeps she is still interactive but not as much. She's aware but not awake, not quite as involved. That makes it not as much fun.
Does that make sense?
Its not like she's in a coma or anything. (that would be weird) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably not a great way of putting it. Its obviously more fun when she's wide awake and very interactive.
While she sleeps she is still interactive but not as much. She's aware but not awake, not quite as involved. That makes it not as much fun.
Does that make sense?
Its not like she's in a coma or anything. (that would be weird) "
Yes that makes sense. Thank you. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Its not like she's in a coma or anything. (that would be weird) "
Girlfriend in a coma, I know
I know - it's serious
Girlfriend in a coma, I know
I know - it's really serious
There were times
When I could
Have 'murdered' her
(but, you know, I would hate
Anything to happen to her)
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I woke one of my exs up one night, not fingering but rubbing her clit. She woke up, loved it and we had some great sex.
Did the same thing 6 months later and she went apeshit.
I don't know what the moral of the story is."
Women are cunts and use their cunts as a weapon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I woke one of my exs up one night, not fingering but rubbing her clit. She woke up, loved it and we had some great sex.
Did the same thing 6 months later and she went apeshit.
I don't know what the moral of the story is.
Women are cunts and use their cunts as a weapon "
Especially those who can propel table tennis balls at their victims |
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