FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Surely they don't really believe it?
Surely they don't really believe it?
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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago
...Up on the Downs |
That 'Are you free now?' 'I'm driving through your area' 'I'm in a hotel down the road tonight' is really enough for any woman to say 'Oh great, lets shag each other senseless' without so much as a by your leave??
Are there women that are actually desperate enough to respond to that and so keep them trying, or are these really just total idiots thinking they are on 'Instashag.com' and really not getting it???
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
If they were actually anywhere near me I'd maybe consider it on occasion, however with Cumbria being such a big place and Arse End being rather remote the chances of "a hotel down the road" being less than at least an hour away is slim  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont think its desperation on anyone's part....it's something I wouldn't be interested in and obviously you either but Im guessing for some, there is an attraction to that sort of meet that's all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I fancied the guy it would be like any other meet to me.
So far I've never had an encounter that spontaneous where I quickly go get ready for action and go but I think I might like it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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lol I get this a lot in the summer when they flock here to the coast for their holls. I've been known to add a bit in my profile that says I'm not the local tourist attraction and point them in the direction of the local honey ice cream parlour  |
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to some people that's the attraction a last minute invitation, excitedly preparing and dashing out of the door. While it isn't for me I can see how it would be exciting and certainly wouldn't knock anyone who enjoyed that sort of meet. |
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"lol I get this a lot in the summer when they flock here to the coast for their holls. I've been known to add a bit in my profile that says I'm not the local tourist attraction and point them in the direction of the local honey ice cream parlour "
we do too, lots of people down for a week one that sticks in our minds thought we woudl be providing bed and breakfast  |
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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago
...Up on the Downs |
"I dont think its desperation on anyone's part....it's something I wouldn't be interested in and obviously you either but Im guessing for some, there is an attraction to that sort of meet that's all."
It's the starkness of the initial contact that beggars belief. I have had people engage me in conversation and then find they are staying nearby, which is fair enough, but you'd think even 'Hello, love the pics' or something would have more success than what amounts to an announcement of 'I'm available to fuck now'. I cannot believe that's the best strategy! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"lol I get this a lot in the summer when they flock here to the coast for their holls. I've been known to add a bit in my profile that says I'm not the local tourist attraction and point them in the direction of the local honey ice cream parlour
we do too, lots of people down for a week one that sticks in our minds thought we woudl be providing bed and breakfast "
Ha ha not had that one, feel left out now  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont think its desperation on anyone's part....it's something I wouldn't be interested in and obviously you either but Im guessing for some, there is an attraction to that sort of meet that's all.
It's the starkness of the initial contact that beggars belief. I have had people engage me in conversation and then find they are staying nearby, which is fair enough, but you'd think even 'Hello, love the pics' or something would have more success than what amounts to an announcement of 'I'm available to fuck now'. I cannot believe that's the best strategy!"
I understand what you mean but again, this will be attractive for some people and that is who will respond. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"but I think I might like it.
Oh awesome..so do you fancy a fuck?...  "
Well you are lovely and I certainly would but im working till 5 then off to Xtasia at 7.
Can you give me a serious hard fuck between 615 and 645??? |
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"lol I get this a lot in the summer when they flock here to the coast for their holls. I've been known to add a bit in my profile that says I'm not the local tourist attraction and point them in the direction of the local honey ice cream parlour
we do too, lots of people down for a week one that sticks in our minds thought we woudl be providing bed and breakfast
Ha ha not had that one, feel left out now "
well we were looking for a cheap break away somewhere |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"lol I get this a lot in the summer when they flock here to the coast for their holls. I've been known to add a bit in my profile that says I'm not the local tourist attraction and point them in the direction of the local honey ice cream parlour
we do too, lots of people down for a week one that sticks in our minds thought we woudl be providing bed and breakfast
Ha ha not had that one, feel left out now
well we were looking for a cheap break away somewhere "
lol you want a flake with that honey ice cream? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've done it 
was bored, got a message along the lines of I'm free now, are you and taken it up. it's far from my usual m.o. but it was nice at the time.
most of the time, those messages are left to languish unread in my inbox, though. i like to plan my meets and know the person a bit.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"but I think I might like it.
Oh awesome..so do you fancy a fuck?...
Well you are lovely and I certainly would but im working till 5 then off to Xtasia at 7.
Can you give me a serious hard fuck between 615 and 645???"
I can give you a SERIOUS HARD FUCK anytime! 
But I gotta warn you half hour aint long enough... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh and im definitely not desperate!
Not all my encounters need to involve meticulous planning, although almost all do and often it's been many months before a meet has occurred. I like the idea of an instant encounter, still has the same potential to be a great experience I'm sure.
I think as someone who is nervous I actually cope better with a more spontaneous meet as I have less time to think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"but I think I might like it.
Oh awesome..so do you fancy a fuck?...
Well you are lovely and I certainly would but im working till 5 then off to Xtasia at 7.
Can you give me a serious hard fuck between 615 and 645???
I can give you a SERIOUS HARD FUCK anytime!
But I gotta warn you half hour aint long enough..."
I had a feeling you'd say that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get these all the time..mainly by Army personnel. They dont want you to shower or dress up..as all they want is a shag. Been told on many occassions 'its sex not dating so don't care'!
Block!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"anyone fancy a fuck my cats went out my wifes in hospital and I've taken 20 viagra
you sure 20 is gonna be enough....
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well I dont think ur that bad looking..I suppose a few more might help.........  |
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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago
...Up on the Downs |
"I've done it
was bored, got a message along the lines of I'm free now, are you and taken it up. it's far from my usual m.o. but it was nice at the time.
"
Oh god, now I think about it I did do something similar once....someone on a certain dating site sent me a one word message 'Fun?' and I couldn't resist replying 'I am indeed!' and an amusing conversation developed....
And I have had spur of the moment meets with people I have been talking to...
I know what it's like to get sick of all the banal chit chat, that's one reason I abandoned the dating sites and came here, but I still maintain they'd have more success with a more appealing approach. |
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I've just got a message saying :- Fancy a fuck before I go home tomorrow From a single male and nothing else. Never heard from him before.
Do guys think this is the way to see a woman?
We are human not a piece of meat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I sometimes think we expect guys to be performing seals.
Don't do this, or this, or this, but you must do this and especially this etc......
I've honestly never perceived someone passing through the area as thinking I'm a tourist attraction. They're looking to enjoy sex and maybe their kink is a certain type of spontaneous sex but it doesn't mean it's not memorable to them or that they see me as meat, that's just how they roll. It often sounds like people actually want all the bells and whistles of romantic love which is certainly a possibility (I'm married to a sex-site meet) but most people are in fact looking for sexual encounters.
I'm glad I'm not a bloke.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"anyone fancy a fuck my cats went out my wifes in hospital and I've taken 20 viagra
you sure 20 is gonna be enough....
well I dont think ur that bad looking..I suppose a few more might help......... "
you have no idea what i look like....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"anyone fancy a fuck my cats went out my wifes in hospital and I've taken 20 viagra
you sure 20 is gonna be enough....
well I dont think ur that bad looking..I suppose a few more might help.........
you have no idea what i look like.... "
...yet xxxx |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
you read 'I am so bored and horny' in statuses, that to me reads... message me for a quick meet or talk dirty.
the same person will more than likely be ranting about 'fucking guys on here' within the hour. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"you read 'I am so bored and horny' in statuses, that to me reads... message me for a quick meet or talk dirty.
the same person will more than likely be ranting about 'fucking guys on here' within the hour."
its alright if you are a single woman with no ties who can cum and go as she pleases maybe. the hotels they are staying in are too far away from us anyway. |
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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago
...Up on the Downs |
"I sometimes think we expect guys to be performing seals.
Don't do this, or this, or this, but you must do this and especially this etc......
"
I certainly don't - I require nothing of the kind of guys I'm talking about, I just hit delete.
I am selective of the ones I meet, of course, I am a certain kind of person who behaves in a certain kind of way and I want to meet people the same - solely that.
I do think couples can have a much starker attitude anyway, for a myriad of reasons like eg safety, and the fact that they have each other to depend on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if i fancied him and the hotel was nearby then i might meet for a drink first to see what he was like, then if he was ok, then i would have sex with him. |
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"That 'Are you free now?' 'I'm driving through your area' 'I'm in a hotel down the road tonight' is really enough for any woman to say 'Oh great, lets shag each other senseless' without so much as a by your leave??
Are there women that are actually desperate enough to respond to that and so keep them trying, or are these really just total idiots thinking they are on 'Instashag.com' and really not getting it???
"
Why do you think people who like instant meets are desparate ?
I guess it saves lorry drivers from picking up dock road prostitutes and 'business' men from spending out on meals.
I like to think that there are sexually attractive , adventurous fun types out there that manage to manage to live by 'carpe diem' when they can.
Must beat the hell out of sitting at home passing sentence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I sometimes think we expect guys to be performing seals.
Don't do this, or this, or this, but you must do this and especially this etc......
I certainly don't - I require nothing of the kind of guys I'm talking abput, I just hit delete.
I am selective of the ones I meet, of course, I am a certain kind of person who behaves in a certain kind of way and I want to meet people the same - solely that.
I do think couples can have a much starker attitude anyway, for a myriad of reasons like eg safety, and the fact that they have each other to depend on."
I wouldn't disagree on that last point, I was more spontaneous during my unmarried solo years, partly age and thinking you're invincible. Having another person involved in your decisions on who you meet does make spontaneous ones less likely.
However I do maintain it's not necessarily desperation (which sounds pretty unkind) that draws some people to such encounters, it's attraction to spontaneity and a furtive unexpected encounter. For me at least the exact same rules of attraction apply. If I wouldn't meet them in a normal setting I wouldn't meet them for a one off in a local hotel either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Many people think that swingers need (NEED, not want) sex all the time. They think they are doing us a favour by offering sex to us. They can't understand why we would turn them down- we're online and desperate for sex.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"anyone fancy a fuck my cats went out my wifes in hospital and I've taken 20 viagra
you sure 20 is gonna be enough....
well I dont think ur that bad looking..I suppose a few more might help.........
you have no idea what i look like....
...yet xxxx"
Hahaha |
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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago
...Up on the Downs |
"
I wouldn't disagree on that last point, I was more spontaneous during my unmarried solo years, partly age and thinking you're invincible. Having another person involved in your decisions on who you meet does make spontaneous ones less likely.
However I do maintain it's not necessarily desperation (which sounds pretty unkind).........
"
That wasn't what I meant - I meant that in some ways *some* couples I have noticed can 'require' less, want less of a connection, less communication etc because they have each other for all of that. I personally love the pursuit, the build up of desire, the fascinating conversations...........
And I was not judging the women - my point was the opposite, some of the offers are so bad I can't believe anyone does ever actually meet them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can you give me a serious hard fuck between 615 and 645???
I can do 6:15 to 6:16 if that's any good? "
Make it a 6:17 and it's a go. I don't take long either. |
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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago
...Up on the Downs |
"Many people think that swingers need (NEED, not want) sex all the time. They think they are doing us a favour by offering sex to us. They can't understand why we would turn them down- we're online and desperate for sex.... "
Yes, that's more what I was getting at - there seems to be some kind of fundamental misunderstanding on the part of some of the men making these approaches, something does not add up. |
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"That 'Are you free now?' 'I'm driving through your area' 'I'm in a hotel down the road tonight' is really enough for any woman to say 'Oh great, lets shag each other senseless' without so much as a by your leave??
Are there women that are actually desperate enough to respond to that and so keep them trying, or are these really just total idiots thinking they are on 'Instashag.com' and really not getting it???
"
I see no difference between this and those that engage in dogging.
Is driving to a location and waiting to see how many random strangers turn up to fuck you a sign of desperation?
In fact, is it really any different than going to a swingers club on spec? You don't know if you're going to play but if some fella takes your fancy you'll have a chat and a shag.
In all scenarios you're fucking someone you'll probably not fuck again. Does it make you feel better about yourself that you have a chat and a coffee first? The end result is the same, regardless. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That 'Are you free now?' 'I'm driving through your area' 'I'm in a hotel down the road tonight' is really enough for any woman to say 'Oh great, lets shag each other senseless' without so much as a by your leave??
Are there women that are actually desperate enough to respond to that and so keep them trying, or are these really just total idiots thinking they are on 'Instashag.com' and really not getting it???
I see no difference between this and those that engage in dogging.
Is driving to a location and waiting to see how many random strangers turn up to fuck you a sign of desperation?
In fact, is it really any different than going to a swingers club on spec? You don't know if you're going to play but if some fella takes your fancy you'll have a chat and a shag.
In all scenarios you're fucking someone you'll probably not fuck again. Does it make you feel better about yourself that you have a chat and a coffee first? The end result is the same, regardless. "
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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago
...Up on the Downs |
"That 'Are you free now?' 'I'm driving through your area' 'I'm in a hotel down the road tonight' is really enough for any woman to say 'Oh great, lets shag each other senseless' without so much as a by your leave??
Are there women that are actually desperate enough to respond to that and so keep them trying, or are these really just total idiots thinking they are on 'Instashag.com' and really not getting it???
I see no difference between this and those that engage in dogging.
Is driving to a location and waiting to see how many random strangers turn up to fuck you a sign of desperation?
"
Hmm, it's certainly an entirely alien concept to me for sure. So maybe the answer is yes, maybe there are plenty of people on here who find these kind of offers and the men who make them attractive by choice, so maybe they do pay off for those who make them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That 'Are you free now?' 'I'm driving through your area' 'I'm in a hotel down the road tonight' is really enough for any woman to say 'Oh great, lets shag each other senseless' without so much as a by your leave??
Are there women that are actually desperate enough to respond to that and so keep them trying, or are these really just total idiots thinking they are on 'Instashag.com' and really not getting it???
I see no difference between this and those that engage in dogging.
Is driving to a location and waiting to see how many random strangers turn up to fuck you a sign of desperation?
In fact, is it really any different than going to a swingers club on spec? You don't know if you're going to play but if some fella takes your fancy you'll have a chat and a shag.
In all scenarios you're fucking someone you'll probably not fuck again. Does it make you feel better about yourself that you have a chat and a coffee first? The end result is the same, regardless. "
Some people like to put sugar on it. Makes them feel better about themselves. |
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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago
...Up on the Downs |
"
Some people like to put sugar on it. Makes them feel better about themselves."
Yea, but actually I don't want random sex with strangers anyway, like a lot of people I'm after finding people I like and seeing them repeatedly.
I guess that's the main difference, though of course sometimes temptation is just too good to resist..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Many people think that swingers need (NEED, not want) sex all the time. They think they are doing us a favour by offering sex to us. They can't understand why we would turn them down- we're online and desperate for sex.... "
I think there is an assumption that if a profile is signed in then they are looking for a meet right now, and these are the people that usually end up disheartened and leave after posting about the site being full of time wasters and fakes.
I don't respond the the 'fancy a fuck' messages, but I have done last minute meets where the approach was more sociable, and they wanted to see what I looked like before swapping address details! I need attraction to play so without seeing a face pic I'd never agree to any meet, but I wouldn't rule out last minute fun if I fancied it. I do think though that those messaging for last minute fun though would have more luck with people that have put a 'meet today' listing up...isn't that the whole point of it? |
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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago
...Up on the Downs |
"Many people think that swingers need (NEED, not want) sex all the time. They think they are doing us a favour by offering sex to us. They can't understand why we would turn them down- we're online and desperate for sex....
I think there is an assumption that if a profile is signed in then they are looking for a meet right now, and these are the people that usually end up disheartened and leave after posting about the site being full of time wasters and fakes.
I don't respond the the 'fancy a fuck' messages, but I have done last minute meets where the approach was more sociable, and they wanted to see what I looked like before swapping address details! I need attraction to play so without seeing a face pic I'd never agree to any meet, but I wouldn't rule out last minute fun if I fancied it. I do think though that those messaging for last minute fun though would have more luck with people that have put a 'meet today' listing up...isn't that the whole point of it?"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it depends how you put it.
I would message someone I already thought was fit if I knew I was going to their area and ask if they wanted to go out for a drink or a meal
But I wouldn't carry out a local search whilst I was in the car park of my local B&Q to see if anyone nearby fancied a good rodgering |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Done it a couple of times as a single with guys in local hotels but their messages were polite and respectful. I always met socially first so made it clear it wasn't guaranteed fun but they were happy with that and both meets went further. One guy I remember was very rude when I said I'd meet for a drink but with no expectations of more calling me a time waster. I was then gobsmacked when he messaged a couple of hours later asking if I was still free!!!!! I guess he'd had no luck elsewhere! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would welcome social company / meets when I'm away in various parts of the country.
But I would think it crass and rude to just mail expecting a leg over. It's a bit meat market mentality and I'm never a fan of one nighters.
But it's not something I would ever just email someone for out of the blue (a social meet) - I'm far to shy to do that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they were actually anywhere near me I'd maybe consider it on occasion, however with Cumbria being such a big place and Arse End being rather remote the chances of "a hotel down the road" being less than at least an hour away is slim "
You're really not helping me look forward to my excursion to Cumbria this summer you know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Some people like to put sugar on it. Makes them feel better about themselves.
Yea, but actually I don't want random sex with strangers anyway, like a lot of people I'm after finding people I like and seeing them repeatedly.
I guess that's the main difference, though of course sometimes temptation is just too good to resist..... "
(My comment was general, not aimed at you.) |
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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago
...Up on the Downs |
"
Some people like to put sugar on it. Makes them feel better about themselves.
Yea, but actually I don't want random sex with strangers anyway, like a lot of people I'm after finding people I like and seeing them repeatedly.
I guess that's the main difference, though of course sometimes temptation is just too good to resist.....
(My comment was general, not aimed at you.)"
No probs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And expect you to be bathed,shaved,fully made up,hair done and trussed up in stocking etc in an hour. That's with travelling time"
Or just pop to KFC in your way. Don't sound too stupid now do I? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had a couple of enjoyable nights that involved a spur of the moment meet request.
One involved me tied to the bed until somebody arrived, had their fun and left. Both times were unplanned, relaxed, fun.
I quite like instashag sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get this all the time and I would love to know the answer!
Do they really think I'm going to say 'Hang on whilst I get my coat'
So guys, does this type of message actually work? "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That 'Are you free now?' 'I'm driving through your area' 'I'm in a hotel down the road tonight' is really enough for any woman to say 'Oh great, lets shag each other senseless' without so much as a by your leave??
Are there women that are actually desperate enough to respond to that and so keep them trying, or are these really just total idiots thinking they are on 'Instashag.com' and really not getting it???
"
why does meeting someone who is staying in your area make you desperate?
ive met a few guys who have booked a hotel near me due to work but i have never thought of myself as desperate, its just handy, im after no strings sex not a fuck buddy or best mate, i don't have to swap 50 messages, chat on the phone and text for a week to have sex with someone, we are all after different on here and all because some like to fuck and go that don't mean they are desperate |
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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago
...Up on the Downs |
"That 'Are you free now?' 'I'm driving through your area' 'I'm in a hotel down the road tonight' is really enough for any woman to say 'Oh great, lets shag each other senseless' without so much as a by your leave??
Are there women that are actually desperate enough to respond to that and so keep them trying, or are these really just total idiots thinking they are on 'Instashag.com' and really not getting it???
why does meeting someone who is staying in your area make you desperate?
ive met a few guys who have booked a hotel near me due to work but i have never thought of myself as desperate, its just handy, im after no strings sex not a fuck buddy or best mate, i don't have to swap 50 messages, chat on the phone and text for a week to have sex with someone, we are all after different on here and all because some like to fuck and go that don't mean they are desperate "
Well apparently not!! It's not the 'fuck and go' aspect that some of us are questioning, it's the positive response to 'Fancy a passing fuck right now?'.
But that answers my question - if there are indeed women who will respond positively to that approach, that's why men do it!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And expect you to be bathed,shaved,fully made up,hair done and trussed up in stocking etc in an hour. That's with travelling time
Or just pop to KFC in your way. Don't sound too stupid now do I?"
I'll pop to KFC if you're happy with no makeup and mad hair |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
I'm not keen on these messages. They often show no awareness of the practicalities at my end. Great, they are in a hotel room, in a layby, driving by at some point soon, but it takes me 90 minutes or so to look this cheap. |
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Fancy a fuck messages, whether of the right now or anytime, tend to leave me feeling a little cold towards the senders. They can come thick and fast, but I generally want to be met as me, not just ano partner, to replace someones wank. Im logged in at work, or abroad, thousands of miles away, which the profile may state, and they still imagine I am 2 minutes away. I think it is mostly those who are of lesser intelligence or poor social skills who try it. The sad thing is that some of the senders may be spoiling their chances with us. |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"If they were actually anywhere near me I'd maybe consider it on occasion, however with Cumbria being such a big place and Arse End being rather remote the chances of "a hotel down the road" being less than at least an hour away is slim
You're really not helping me look forward to my excursion to Cumbria this summer you know "
Don't worry about it chick...there's still some cock available round here |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I've done it
was bored, got a message along the lines of I'm free now, are you and taken it up. it's far from my usual m.o. but it was nice at the time.
Oh god, now I think about it I did do something similar once....someone on a certain dating site sent me a one word message 'Fun?' and I couldn't resist replying 'I am indeed!' and an amusing conversation developed....
And I have had spur of the moment meets with people I have been talking to...
I know what it's like to get sick of all the banal chit chat, that's one reason I abandoned the dating sites and came here, but I still maintain they'd have more success with a more appealing approach."
I've only got this far on this thread and I find myself asking "why do you maintain they'd have more success?" You and others have met on the spur of the moment from a "now" message. It has as much chance as any other approach as no one approach will work with everyone.
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