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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm working in a job I hate, I'm trying to teach something to someone who doesn't want to be taught, at the same time as fixing ongoing problems.........
I need Haribo, fast. I mean I need to pound a pack of those bad boys like I'm nailling a rohypnolled Ryan Reynolds. Quickly before they realise I'm having them.
So I make my excuses and head to the nearest Poundland (1 of 2 in this lovely city) where there is a display of Haribos beautiful enough to make me weep and the teeth fall out of my head in anticipation of the gummy goodness.
Except I cannot get to said display.
It is eclipsed by the massive que of angry, harrassed, belligerent parents and their mewling hellspawn, because apparently its half term or something and the done thing is to hang around Poundland and fuck with my sweet buying activities.
I cannot get in that que. Not with my rising blood pressure. It'll be like setting off a timebomb of ginger fury in their midst. I'll be ramming packets of value instant noodles down their necks and kicking them out into the street for the ever present evil seagull overlords of this burgh to peck them to death.
Or strangling them with cheap plastic wristbands that say PEACE on them in a murderous display of irony.
So I tried the other store. Fuck me if they haven't had a cunts committee meeting and got there in front of me fucking Truman Show style.
So I've had to leave. Empty handed. You know that bit in Avengers Assemble when Bruce Banner just instantly turns into the Hulk and punches fuck out of a monster?
Like that. But with beautiful fingernails. |
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I feel your pain. Work in London, where on the tubes it's standard protocol to stop and chat at the top or bottom of escalators. To wait until they get to the arch way onto the platform and then stopping in the middle not giving two shits about the hundreds of people behind them....and my personal favourite.. The people that stand infront of the door of the train when you want to get off and then tut you when the only option left to you is to barge past... Thanks rant over.xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"you mean you don't have emergency Haribo stashed ???
There is no such thing as an emergency Haribo stash! 
It's either in the shop or being eaten.  "
This  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Crisis averted. Bought a pack of wine gums from co-op at twice the price with zero queing.
Poor things barely made it out of the shop. It was a slaughter, they never saw it coming. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thats nothing !!!! Try buying a paper in W fucking H Smiths ???"
WH Smiths.....no I dont want a copy of the telegraph with my pint of milk, if I wanted something shit with my tea I'd actually prefer to eat shit than read the telegraph. Shit is more palateable. |
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"I'm working in a job I hate, I'm trying to teach something to someone who doesn't want to be taught, at the same time as fixing ongoing problems.........
I need Haribo, fast. I mean I need to pound a pack of those bad boys like I'm nailling a rohypnolled Ryan Reynolds. Quickly before they realise I'm having them.
So I make my excuses and head to the nearest Poundland (1 of 2 in this lovely city) where there is a display of Haribos beautiful enough to make me weep and the teeth fall out of my head in anticipation of the gummy goodness.
Except I cannot get to said display.
It is eclipsed by the massive que of angry, harrassed, belligerent parents and their mewling hellspawn, because apparently its half term or something and the done thing is to hang around Poundland and fuck with my sweet buying activities.
I cannot get in that que. Not with my rising blood pressure. It'll be like setting off a timebomb of ginger fury in their midst. I'll be ramming packets of value instant noodles down their necks and kicking them out into the street for the ever present evil seagull overlords of this burgh to peck them to death.
Or strangling them with cheap plastic wristbands that say PEACE on them in a murderous display of irony.
So I tried the other store. Fuck me if they haven't had a cunts committee meeting and got there in front of me fucking Truman Show style.
So I've had to leave. Empty handed. You know that bit in Avengers Assemble when Bruce Banner just instantly turns into the Hulk and punches fuck out of a monster?
Like that. But with beautiful fingernails. "
PMT times ten!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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No, one packet at a time. Or as indicated earlier they magically disappear.
I am now at peace. I did an hour of body combat and shadow boxed the living piss out of some fools.
Now feel much better.
Until tomorrow......... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I stopped at a MacDonalds today for a wee and a coffee - then realised it was half term!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!
But, I'm only jealous really! my kids are grown now, and have left me! Yes, my cooking was that bad x |
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Also pops off to hide her blackjacks 
