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Great start to the day...
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6.15 my lad wakes up and so he comes in bed with me to watch cbeebies.
Next thing I hear a loud bang on my window. Made us both jump (especially as it's a first floor flat!) figured it was a bird or something.
Checked my phone for the time to see missed calls and a text from my ex asking to be let in. (He's obviously thrown a rock at my window trying to get my attention)
I rang him and asked why he was outside he said he was cold and wanted to come up. I told him to go home then and he says he got no money, I offered to throw a jumper and a fiver for a cab out as there's no way he was coming up in that state (pissed up, he was violent and abusive when he was drinking one of the main reasons we split up) then he got nasty, started smashing agsinst the downstairs security door calling me a cunt!!
So I've rang the police. Don't need this shit! Thought the days of me being scared to death of him coming home d*unk were over  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How horrid, how the feck do some guys get to be like that.
I suspect not very bright, is unable to think of consequences and vision the future.
Trying to force yourself into someones house is only going to end in bother. ... You poor son, ...
Hope it resolves quickly and you can get back to childrens Tele |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry Hottie , he sounds like a complete tosser. Can you not take out an injunction order to stop him approaching your home? When he has your son you could meet somewhere neutral?
I hope you're ok & he sobers up & sorts himself out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hope you are ok, that was me 5 years ago, although I was never violent, I was an arse and it took loosing the best things in my life to realise it. But times changes as do people, so do what you have to do, just dont give up on him, if hes a good dad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I should make that clearer. Dont go back to him, just dont be one of those mums that stop the children from seeing their dad. But only if he's worthy of it |
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Update.. Cops arrived no sign of him turns out he smashed the security door glass downstairs.
They were taking my statement and one went down to look at the damage and the doorbell went thought it was the police so just buzzed him up.
It was him!!! He's only walked home got his motorbike and rode back!
He's been arrested and taken off prob lose his licence for drink driving, his job coz he needs his bike to get there and will be done for criminal damage!!
What a prick x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I should make that clearer. Dont go back to him, just dont be one of those mums that stop the children from seeing their dad. But only if he's worthy of it"
The last few words are the key bit. If this situation leads to him not seeing his son it is because he is a twat with a history of violence and d*unkenness. And that will be no ones fault but his own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Update.. Cops arrived no sign of him turns out he smashed the security door glass downstairs.
They were taking my statement and one went down to look at the damage and the doorbell went thought it was the police so just buzzed him up.
It was him!!! He's only walked home got his motorbike and rode back!
He's been arrested and taken off prob lose his licence for drink driving, his job coz he needs his bike to get there and will be done for criminal damage!!
What a prick x "
Might be the kick up the arse he needs to sort himself out. Hope it all works out well for you all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Update.. Cops arrived no sign of him turns out he smashed the security door glass downstairs.
They were taking my statement and one went down to look at the damage and the doorbell went thought it was the police so just buzzed him up.
It was him!!! He's only walked home got his motorbike and rode back!
He's been arrested and taken off prob lose his licence for drink driving, his job coz he needs his bike to get there and will be done for criminal damage!!
What a prick x "
Wow what a total idiot. Criminal damage, d*unk and disorderly, threatening behaviour, drink driving, that's going to be a painful hangover!
Personally i think You need to be looking at an injunction to keep him away from you and only allowing supervised access to your son . Hopefully the threat of that could be enough of a wake up call for him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hope you are both ok. Youve got a brill relationship with your son, by the sounds of it neither of you need him in your lives. Hope the idiot gets what's coming to him.
Hugs xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Update.. Cops arrived no sign of him turns out he smashed the security door glass downstairs.
They were taking my statement and one went down to look at the damage and the doorbell went thought it was the police so just buzzed him up.
It was him!!! He's only walked home got his motorbike and rode back!
He's been arrested and taken off prob lose his licence for drink driving, his job coz he needs his bike to get there and will be done for criminal damage!!
What a prick x
Wow what a total idiot. Criminal damage, d*unk and disorderly, threatening behaviour, drink driving, that's going to be a painful hangover!
Personally i think You need to be looking at an injunction to keep him away from you and only allowing supervised access to your son . Hopefully the threat of that could be enough of a wake up call for him."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Update.. Cops arrived no sign of him turns out he smashed the security door glass downstairs.
They were taking my statement and one went down to look at the damage and the doorbell went thought it was the police so just buzzed him up.
It was him!!! He's only walked home got his motorbike and rode back!
He's been arrested and taken off prob lose his licence for drink driving, his job coz he needs his bike to get there and will be done for criminal damage!!
What a prick x
Wow what a total idiot. Criminal damage, d*unk and disorderly, threatening behaviour, drink driving, that's going to be a painful hangover!
Personally i think You need to be looking at an injunction to keep him away from you and only allowing supervised access to your son . Hopefully the threat of that could be enough of a wake up call for him."
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By *W69Couple
over a year ago
Bournemouth |
As you said in the thread title, not the best start to the day.
A difficult situation to deal with and wake up to. Hope your able to put it behind you and enjoy the hols/time with your son.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From personal experience (of the neighbours downstairs) social services, and especially child welfare officers, take a remarkably dim view of this type of domestic violence...
One report from this side, and the ex very quickly became "no longer a problem to the child's well being"
Just a thought... |
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"I should make that clearer. Dont go back to him, just dont be one of those mums that stop the children from seeing their dad. But only if he's worthy of it
The last few words are the key bit. If this situation leads to him not seeing his son it is because he is a twat with a history of violence and d*unkenness. And that will be no ones fault but his own."
He won't be taking him anywhere for a long time. I don't care if people think badly of me for it!! I told him when he was like this when we were together that one more outburst and that would be it!! He's had his chance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Update.. Cops arrived no sign of him turns out he smashed the security door glass downstairs.
They were taking my statement and one went down to look at the damage and the doorbell went thought it was the police so just buzzed him up.
It was him!!! He's only walked home got his motorbike and rode back!
He's been arrested and taken off prob lose his licence for drink driving, his job coz he needs his bike to get there and will be done for criminal damage!!
What a prick x
Wow what a total idiot. Criminal damage, d*unk and disorderly, threatening behaviour, drink driving, that's going to be a painful hangover!
Personally i think You need to be looking at an injunction to keep him away from you and only allowing supervised access to your son . Hopefully the threat of that could be enough of a wake up call for him. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I should make that clearer. Dont go back to him, just dont be one of those mums that stop the children from seeing their dad. But only if he's worthy of it
The last few words are the key bit. If this situation leads to him not seeing his son it is because he is a twat with a history of violence and d*unkenness. And that will be no ones fault but his own.
He won't be taking him anywhere for a long time. I don't care if people think badly of me for it!! I told him when he was like this when we were together that one more outburst and that would be it!! He's had his chance. "
 . Well done no one would think badly of you for protecting your son.x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I should make that clearer. Dont go back to him, just dont be one of those mums that stop the children from seeing their dad. But only if he's worthy of it
The last few words are the key bit. If this situation leads to him not seeing his son it is because he is a twat with a history of violence and d*unkenness. And that will be no ones fault but his own.
He won't be taking him anywhere for a long time. I don't care if people think badly of me for it!! I told him when he was like this when we were together that one more outburst and that would be it!! He's had his chance. "
To think badly of you would be effectively condoning his behaviour. So I wouldn't be too worried about anyone judging you negatively as their moral compass is probably not the best. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I put up with it for years with the baby's dad..
You have done the right thing hun..
Even after nearly 2 years of not seeing my ex if he turned up now id do the same...
We don't need twats like that in our lives...
My youngest will never no her dad but that's the choice I've made at the moment 2 protect her and myself from her alcoholic father xxxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I should make that clearer. Dont go back to him, just dont be one of those mums that stop the children from seeing their dad. But only if he's worthy of it
The last few words are the key bit. If this situation leads to him not seeing his son it is because he is a twat with a history of violence and d*unkenness. And that will be no ones fault but his own.
He won't be taking him anywhere for a long time. I don't care if people think badly of me for it!! I told him when he was like this when we were together that one more outburst and that would be it!! He's had his chance. "
No one will think badly of you. It takes nerve to stand up to men like this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What everyone else has said is so true. Takes a massive amount of strength and courage to stand up to men like that who have ground you down over time. Take care of you and your little one. Single Mum's are super Mum's, I know because I have one. Good luck to you, wish you and your son a happy future |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
I'd feel that the cosmos has messed my order up. Rather than a delivery of The Sunday Times, some arse has delivered a d*unken maniac instead.
I'm glad he turned up when he did and the peelers were able to nick him.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What a horrible way to start your Sunday morning, you must have been scared for yourself and you little one, but glad he was dumb enough to come back when he did, straight into the arms of the law.
Hottie I know your a brilliant mum to your little one, I know that what ever you decide to do as in terms of letting your ex see him or not, will be made with your little ones best interests at heart!!
And yes I think maybe think of getting an injunction put on place as I little bit of extra protection for you both |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh Hottie, I'm so sorry you've been through that. Sounds like you've taken the right course of action so far.
As others have suggested, an injunction in the short term sounds like a good idea.
Cuddles to you and your boy xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just a thought and don't want to sound alarming but he will be released from the cells some time today and he is lickely to be a bit pissed off. Is there anywhere you can go or is there anyone who can sit with you ? He'll probably go straight home and nurse his wounds but you never know. Keep safe xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The effects of alcohol can be truly terrible. His actions will cost him dearly. I hope there is a way of him still being able to see his son even if that has to be supervised.
The Op has done the right thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You see those heels in your pics. You should have just chucked that on his thick head!! What a plonker! Guys like that do my head in...what do they expect to get out of it?
And no, i don't believe that 'i was d*unk so did not know what i was doing' to be a good excuse.
...Glutous Maximus you got some drama with this one!
Hope it gets sorted x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hope he gets what he deserves and doesn't twist it in his head into it being somehow your fault. Had this myself from my ex. Years of taking the blame for the crap she chose to do.
Thoughts are with you Hottie xx |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
A terrible start to the day. Do something nice for both of you. I hope your son doesn't become frightened of his father as they will need a relationship at some point.
Keep a log of all his unscheduled contact and call the police immediately if he turns up again today.
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"Hope he gets what he deserves and doesn't twist it in his head into it being somehow your fault. Had this myself from my ex. Years of taking the blame for the crap she chose to do.
Thoughts are with you Hottie xx"
Oh I don't doubt for a second that's what will happen. He always tries it nothing is ever his fault! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I should make that clearer. Dont go back to him, just dont be one of those mums that stop the children from seeing their dad. But only if he's worthy of it
The last few words are the key bit. If this situation leads to him not seeing his son it is because he is a twat with a history of violence and d*unkenness. And that will be no ones fault but his own.
He won't be taking him anywhere for a long time. I don't care if people think badly of me for it!! I told him when he was like this when we were together that one more outburst and that would be it!! He's had his chance. "
Good for you! You and your sons safety comes first! |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Hope he gets what he deserves and doesn't twist it in his head into it being somehow your fault. Had this myself from my ex. Years of taking the blame for the crap she chose to do.
Thoughts are with you Hottie xx
Oh I don't doubt for a second that's what will happen. He always tries it nothing is ever his fault! "
Unfortunately this probably means you have more of the same ahead of you. Lee strong.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sad that children have to see these things - mine did too but they are under no illusion as to the type of person dad is - mine are older now and some bridges have been built but they will never forget/forgive him - you and your little boy are solid xxxxxxxxxx |
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what a complete knob .. hope he sorts himself out . hope you stay safe .. im glad he showed his true colours to the police so its not your word against his .. he has landed himself in the trouble he s in and cant twist the facts to in any way try to make it your fault .xxx big hugs to you and your little one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you are a social housing tenant speak to your landlord as they maybe able to assist with obtaining injunctions etc...if he is constantly harassing you a move maybe needed "
We ended up putting a camera outside to film my car and all the stuff she did to it. Felt so damn good when we finally sold up and moved. The kids were much happier. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am sorry to hear about this.
By calling the police you have shown that you don't intend to put up with this behaviour and you no longer have to as your romantic relationship has finished. He has to accept that he cannot come to you in times of stress as his behaviour is unacceptable.
Lets hope the lesson is reinforced after arrest and police intervention.
Men who give no thought to how their children are affected by their violence don't really deserve the title 'father'. |
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Update... Again!!
The police came back to finish my statement. Said he's said his main worry is that I'll stop him seeing his son!! (Good thinking genius!)
Told the policeman that I'm concerned that he will lose his temper one day while he's looking after his boy and things will get out of hand..
They're gonna escort him back later to collect him motorbike assuming he's no longer over the legal limit and make sure he leaves the area without trying to contact me.
Next mission is to find a contact centre and arrange supervised visits as theres no way I'm letting him take my boy out again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You do whatever you think is best for you and the boy.
Big to the Kent police. Sounds like they've done a sterling job.
Hope you can enjoy the rest of your Sunday xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It may seem like a nightmare now but actually it's a good thing that it happened. You're both safe and the police were there to see him when he came back. You'll get the backing from them and similar support services. Your ex may even now sort himself out after he's had the shock of getting arrested. -Here's hoping.
Chin up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I should make that clearer. Dont go back to him, just dont be one of those mums that stop the children from seeing their dad. But only if he's worthy of it
The last few words are the key bit. If this situation leads to him not seeing his son it is because he is a twat with a history of violence and d*unkenness. And that will be no ones fault but his own.
He won't be taking him anywhere for a long time. I don't care if people think badly of me for it!! I told him when he was like this when we were together that one more outburst and that would be it!! He's had his chance. "
Sounds like he's busy pissing his life up the wall. If he's on a path to self destruction only he can sort it out |
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Thanks for all your comments/texts and pm's, much appreciated!!
He's been released on bail and part of his bail is that he's not allowed here without getting permission from me first.
Unlikely seeing as I've blocked all lines of communication till I get advice from the CAB etc x |
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"Update... Again!!
The police came back to finish my statement. Said he's said his main worry is that I'll stop him seeing his son!! (Good thinking genius!)
Told the policeman that I'm concerned that he will lose his temper one day while he's looking after his boy and things will get out of hand..
They're gonna escort him back later to collect him motorbike assuming he's no longer over the legal limit and make sure he leaves the area without trying to contact me.
Next mission is to find a contact centre and arrange supervised visits as theres no way I'm letting him take my boy out again. "
I was going to suggest a contact centre. Hope it all gets sorted with as little damage to you and your son as possible
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