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By *odareyou OP Man
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
I know magicians say the hand is faster than the eye, well I think my mums cat is David Blaine Copperfield rolled into one,
The cat has been poorly vet prescribed some tabllets at tthe vets the vet held the cat mouth opened tablet in cat swallowed,, I held cat mouth opened loud hiss growl several scratches later I think plan b so tablet wrapped in a tasty morsel of meat cat opens mouth purrs eats morsel of meat, I think yey thats the way ,, tthen I find the tablet on the settee, how the fu#k did that happen meats eaten tablet not and I didn t see it spit,??
Anybody want to offer advice, or should I book her on britains got talent? |
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"I know magicians say the hand is faster than the eye, well I think my mums cat is David Blaine Copperfield rolled into one,
The cat has been poorly vet prescribed some tabllets at tthe vets the vet held the cat mouth opened tablet in cat swallowed,, I held cat mouth opened loud hiss growl several scratches later I think plan b so tablet wrapped in a tasty morsel of meat cat opens mouth purrs eats morsel of meat, I think yey thats the way ,, tthen I find the tablet on the settee, how the fu#k did that happen meats eaten tablet not and I didn t see it spit,??
Anybody want to offer advice, or should I book her on britains got talent? "
Oh they're so good at that!! You have to learn how to get the tablet on the back of the tongue so the only way is down!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Large towel.....wrap said cat in towel tightly to avoid claws.....sit down with cat on lap....open mouth, put tablet to back of throat and holding the mouth open push the tablet further down gently with a finger or pen but if pen be very careful, then close mouth and massage the throat with head pointed up to encourage the swallow reflex.
If the cat is still in the room when you unwrap it then give it a food treat.....good luck dogs are easier btw  |
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By *odareyou OP Man
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"Large towel.....wrap said cat in towel tightly to avoid claws.....sit down with cat on lap....open mouth, put tablet to back of throat and holding the mouth open push the tablet further down gently with a finger or pen but if pen be very careful, then close mouth and massage the throat with head pointed up to encourage the swallow reflex.
If the cat is still in the room when you unwrap it then give it a food treat.....good luck dogs are easier btw "
Tried the towel I think shes related to Houdini as well as David blaine, 
so I m putting up a meet request about 8 this evening and the next four days so any vets (thats not a mistype for tvts ) that would like to be wined and fed a meaty morsel,, or just to sit and have a chat with my mum ( she ll regale you with lots of embarrassing stories about me  ,) please get in touch,, |
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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago
Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you) |
"Large towel.....wrap said cat in towel tightly to avoid claws.....sit down with cat on lap....open mouth, put tablet to back of throat and holding the mouth open push the tablet further down gently with a finger or pen but if pen be very careful, then close mouth and massage the throat with head pointed up to encourage the swallow reflex.
If the cat is still in the room when you unwrap it then give it a food treat.....good luck dogs are easier btw
Tried the towel I think shes related to Houdini as well as David blaine,
so I m putting up a meet request about 8 this evening and the next four days so any vets (thats not a mistype for tvts ) that would like to be wined and fed a meaty morsel,, or just to sit and have a chat with my mum ( she ll regale you with lots of embarrassing stories about me ,) please get in touch,, "
Maybe try a bit of something naughty....ice cream or butter that she is not normally allowed and crush it in...only a teaspoon though because it is naughty food but she might just lick it all up....we have got a cat with a thyroid problem so I have to medicate his twice a day but I have got used to just opening him up and ramming it in now  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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cut out the oriface and slit her throat, put hte tablet straight in and stitch it back up.
admittedly, this plan of attack very rarely works first time. lol |
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"cut out the oriface and slit her throat, put hte tablet straight in and stitch it back up.
admittedly, this plan of attack very rarely works first time. lol"
there you go dont have to put it down now..
but make sure that the knife is sharp you dont want the cat to get stressed..  |
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By *oddyWoman
over a year ago
between havant and chichester |
Giving Cats Pills
INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING YOUR CAT A PILL
1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a
baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and
gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat
opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm
and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from
foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with lef hand.
Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold
mouth shut for a count of 10.
4. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call
spouse from garden.
5. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and
rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat's head
firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down
ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
6. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make
note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered
figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
7. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just
visible from below spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force
cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
8. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water
to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from
carpet with cold water and soap.
9. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in
cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open
with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
10. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold
compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw
T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
11. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize
to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last
pill from foil wrap.
12. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to
leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat's
mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece
of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water down throat
to wash pill down.
13. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room; sit quietly while doctor
stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop
by furniture shop on way home to order new table.
14. Arrange for vet to make a housecall.
|
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"Giving Cats Pills
INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING YOUR CAT A PILL
1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a
baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and
gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat
opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm
and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from
foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with lef hand.
Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold
mouth shut for a count of 10.
4. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call
spouse from garden.
5. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and
rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat's head
firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down
ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
6. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make
note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered
figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
7. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just
visible from below spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force
cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
8. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water
to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from
carpet with cold water and soap.
9. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in
cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open
with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
10. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold
compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw
T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
11. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize
to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last
pill from foil wrap.
12. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to
leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat's
mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece
of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water down throat
to wash pill down.
13. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room; sit quietly while doctor
stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop
by furniture shop on way home to order new table.
14. Arrange for vet to make a housecall.
"
Haha, love it.  |
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By *odareyou OP Man
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"Giving Cats Pills
INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING YOUR CAT A PILL
1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a
baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and
gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat
opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm
and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from
foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with lef hand.
Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold
mouth shut for a count of 10.
4. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call
spouse from garden.
5. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and
rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat's head
firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down
ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
6. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make
note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered
figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
7. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just
visible from below spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force
cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
8. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water
to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from
carpet with cold water and soap.
9. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in
cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open
with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
10. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold
compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw
T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
11. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize
to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last
pill from foil wrap.
12. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to
leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat's
mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece
of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water down throat
to wash pill down.
13. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room; sit quietly while doctor
stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop
by furniture shop on way home to order new table.
14. Arrange for vet to make a housecall.
"
Well thats just about the size of it,!! Instead of spying on me you could have helped,!! :- D |
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