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Were we all abused?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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When I was in short trousers I'd regularly get a smacked arse a slapped face or a clap with the dreaded wooden spoon.
But both my parents love me to bits and I was a total shit (one example, cracking my father in the testicles with a putter, whilst playing crazy golf because I believed he had been cheating) and deserved every bit of it that I can remember.
My mum once broke her thick 80s style plastic bracelet smacking my arse for shoving a wooden stake into a school mates bicycle spokes and causing his face to break his fall onto the pavement. He lost his front teeth top and bottom, I think I got off lightly.
My point is, nowadays if I'd received that kind of deserved capital punishment, I'd have a child councillor, my parents would have criminal records and EU ministers would use me as a poster boy for child abuse.
Thoughts fabsters? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Capital punishment? 
Do you mean corporal punishment?
Smacking them is one thing but sending them to the gallows or the electric chair is a bit harsh!   "
I was thinking that 
But I believe most people are now much to soft on their kids and it's all gone wayto PC. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I did miss behave I either got a good slap on my legs or attacked by mothers slipper.
Dad never took his hand to me.. Only once , he launched a wooden table mat at me, I ducked and it hit my spine. I threw myself on the floor and faked being in terrible pain. He got such a bollocking off my mum |
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i was very similar to the OP
many things i did in childhood, on reflection as an adult, i derserved and maybe even more so,
in school i was a little shit getting the cane/strap/slipper most days, similar at home but as i said, on reflection i deserved it all.
having said all that, i strongly believe that it helped to shape me into the adult i am today, if it had not been for all the punishments over the years, i would have carried on being a bad person and not the respectable adult i eventually turned into. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh yes. You're the guy that said family's that earn less than £45,000 per year shouldn't have kids.
The green arrow is your friend people.
OP. You seem to like contoversy.
popcorn.gif.  "
Why is that controversy ? It's a discussion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You definitely sound like you were a wee shit!
Can you teach a child not to hurt someone by hurting them? Punch a child for punching a school mate?
I am not saying that all physical chastisement is wrong but too often it is delivered in the heat of the moment by a parent experiencing exactly the same emotions that got the child in trouble in the first place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh yes. You're the guy that said family's that earn less than £45,000 per year shouldn't have kids.
The green arrow is your friend people.
OP. You seem to like contoversy.
popcorn.gif.
Why is that controversy ? It's a discussion "
I just remember how the last thread went...   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh yes. You're the guy that said family's that earn less than £45,000 per year shouldn't have kids.
The green arrow is your friend people.
OP. You seem to like contoversy.
popcorn.gif.
Why is that controversy ? It's a discussion
I just remember how the last thread went... "
And this will probably go the same, but a good debate is fun  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My parents never smacked us, I don't even remember getting sent to bed. We weren't naughty children and if we argued one word from my mum or dad would shut us up. I smacked my kids when I couldn't cope with them arguing and my ex's abuse. They weren't naughty children either |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh yes. You're the guy that said family's that earn less than £45,000 per year shouldn't have kids.
OP. You seem to like contoversy.
popcorn.gif. "
A. I didn't say that. Please read the thread again.
B. what has that got to do with, literally, anything???? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
And this will probably go the same, but a good debate is fun "
If you mean me getting gang humped and then banned because I don't agree with more popular posters with mods on their friends list, then yes it probably will go that way
And as per usual, I won't care in the slightest. I'll be back once I've done my time lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think one swift smack with the palm of the hand on the bum is fair enough, but I do feel some adults hit through with anger or losing their control.
I remember a teacher hitting my hand with a wooden ruler when I was 8 - breaking it. All because I cheated on a non-assessed spelling test. Did I deserved that level of punishment?  Hasten to say, my mother wasn't very pleased!
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was brought up by my amazing mum and she only had to look at me and I knew I had done wrong
On the other hand my father was an abusive d*unken twat
Thank god my mum saw sense! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bloody hell man. You were a wicked evil child! 
Lol but I'm reformed now!
"
do you think the being physically punished made a difference or did you just grow up? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It took me until I was an adult and gad kids of my own to realise I had been abused by my dad. He used to hit me till I wet myself. He was a alcoholic which didnt help. I got punished if I made a noise when ge was sleeping on the sofa.
Its true what they say csn forgive but never forget.
I swore my family would never go through whst I went through |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Bloody hell man. You were a wicked evil child!
Lol but I'm reformed now!
do you think the being physically punished made a difference or did you just grow up? "
Well one thing is for sure, it was done in context and that respect for my elders stays with.
I think kids who didn't have that fear or respect for their parents have missed out on a valuable shaping process whilst growing up.
And before the holier than thou posters rock up and ban me (as per) I'm NOT condoning abuse.
I've nothing but sympathy for those who e endured such a terrible betrayal of trust. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bloody hell man. You were a wicked evil child!
Lol but I'm reformed now!
do you think the being physically punished made a difference or did you just grow up?
Well one thing is for sure, it was done in context and that respect for my elders stays with.
I think kids who didn't have that fear or respect for their parents have missed out on a valuable shaping process whilst growing up.
And before the holier than thou posters rock up and ban me (as per) I'm NOT condoning abuse.
I've nothing but sympathy for those who e endured such a terrible betrayal of trust."
I think the issue I have is do children respect parents who punish physically or fear them. Do you behave because your parents are respected or because you are scared of the consequences. Being good at not getting caught helped my ex escape a few hidings |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My Mum was a dick, last time she hit me was when I was 26!! Slapped me round the face for telling her that the gas bottles needed changing and she didn't believe me.
So while I think some kids need a slap now and again, at what age does it become unacceptable?
I must say OP, my Mum made out I was the devil child and am an awful person but compared to you I was an angel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bloody hell man. You were a wicked evil child!
Lol but I'm reformed now!
do you think the being physically punished made a difference or did you just grow up?
Well one thing is for sure, it was done in context and that respect for my elders stays with.
I think kids who didn't have that fear or respect for their parents have missed out on a valuable shaping process whilst growing up.
And before the holier than thou posters rock up and ban me (as per) I'm NOT condoning abuse.
I've nothing but sympathy for those who e endured such a terrible betrayal of trust."
That could be that you are a decent person but just got into some scrapes as a youngster. Perhaps bad judgement/ boisterousness. There are many kids that were little sods and had parents that 'smacked', and yet they still grew up into shitty adults.
I do think it's a respect thing. It doesn't have to be from a smack. I think some parents are just too soft all round. They don't follow through on any kind of punishment and the kid just has free reign.
Giving kids responsibility and respect seems to work more than a clip round the ear. Parents that don't respect other people, breed kids that don't respect other people. |
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Abuse is a strong word and I don't think that the occasional smack on the hand to stop a child putting its hand in a plug socket is that.
I don't advocate physical punishment and my opinion is that you will believe it is the correct thing to do if you are told while being physically punished that it is (generic you not aimed at anyone). We've all heard the phrase "this is for your own good" and lots of people have stated that they deserved it to my ears that's shocking that someone can believe that as a small child what they did was so awful that they deserved to have pain inflicted on them by an adult.
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"When I was in short trousers I'd regularly get a smacked arse a slapped face or a clap with the dreaded wooden spoon.
But both my parents love me to bits and I was a total shit (one example, cracking my father in the testicles with a putter, whilst playing crazy golf because I believed he had been cheating) and deserved every bit of it that I can remember.
My mum once broke her thick 80s style plastic bracelet smacking my arse for shoving a wooden stake into a school mates bicycle spokes and causing his face to break his fall onto the pavement. He lost his front teeth top and bottom, I think I got off lightly.
My point is, nowadays if I'd received that kind of deserved capital punishment, I'd have a child councillor, my parents would have criminal records and EU ministers would use me as a poster boy for child abuse.
Thoughts fabsters?"
If you regularly got whacked for misbehaving it clearly didn't do much to put you off doing wrong again.
I will never raise a hand to my son, I don't think it teaches kids anything apart from that it's ok to hit/smack etc. |
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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago
hertfordshire |
slaps round the legs were usual we used to wind my mum up as kids cos she would threaten us with her slipper so she got in such a rage trying to hop getting said slipper off she would nearly fall over!!! mind you it hurt when she did use it |
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"Abuse is a strong word and I don't think that the occasional smack on the hand to stop a child putting its hand in a plug socket is that.
I don't advocate physical punishment and my opinion is that you will believe it is the correct thing to do if you are told while being physically punished that it is (generic you not aimed at anyone). We've all heard the phrase "this is for your own good" and lots of people have stated that they deserved it to my ears that's shocking that someone can believe that as a small child what they did was so awful that they deserved to have pain inflicted on them by an adult.
"
Physical punishment is not necessary and has been shown not to deter bad behaviour. Violence begets violence. The OP was physically punished as a child but as a child it didn't stop him misbehaving. As another poster pointed out maybe he just grew up. When I was at school the same kids regularly were the ones waiting outside the heads office for the cane. Fear of punishment should not be confused with respect. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
If you regularly got whacked for misbehaving it clearly didn't do much to put you off doing wrong again.
I will never raise a hand to my son, I don't think it teaches kids anything apart from that it's ok to hit/smack etc. "
I disagree.
I did eventually become less naughty and I was terrified of the consequences, but I just played to the crowd alot.
I then found rugby and that was a good outlet for aggression.
Not punishing your son will likely end up with him thinking he can do and behave however he wants.
Or worse, become a dreaded 'mummy's boy'
Respectfully, your not necessarily doing him any favours |
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"
If you regularly got whacked for misbehaving it clearly didn't do much to put you off doing wrong again.
I will never raise a hand to my son, I don't think it teaches kids anything apart from that it's ok to hit/smack etc.
I disagree.
I did eventually become less naughty and I was terrified of the consequences, but I just played to the crowd alot.
I then found rugby and that was a good outlet for aggression.
Not punishing your son will likely end up with him thinking he can do and behave however he wants.
Or worse, become a dreaded 'mummy's boy'
Respectfully, your not necessarily doing him any favours"
With respect this is bollocks. |
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"
If you regularly got whacked for misbehaving it clearly didn't do much to put you off doing wrong again.
I will never raise a hand to my son, I don't think it teaches kids anything apart from that it's ok to hit/smack etc.
I disagree.
I did eventually become less naughty and I was terrified of the consequences, but I just played to the crowd alot.
I then found rugby and that was a good outlet for aggression.
Not punishing your son will likely end up with him thinking he can do and behave however he wants.
Or worse, become a dreaded 'mummy's boy'
Respectfully, your not necessarily doing him any favours"
I didn't say I didn't punish him, but I can do it without snacking him. Funnily enough he rarely misbehaves and I don't even need to shout at him, nor does his dad when he's with him and we both have been commented on how well behaved he his. |
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"
If you regularly got whacked for misbehaving it clearly didn't do much to put you off doing wrong again.
I will never raise a hand to my son, I don't think it teaches kids anything apart from that it's ok to hit/smack etc.
I disagree.
I did eventually become less naughty and I was terrified of the consequences, but I just played to the crowd alot.
I then found rugby and that was a good outlet for aggression.
Not punishing your son will likely end up with him thinking he can do and behave however he wants.
Or worse, become a dreaded 'mummy's boy'
Respectfully, your not necessarily doing him any favours
With respect this is bollocks."
Haha...I agree!!! Compete bollocks x |
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"
If you regularly got whacked for misbehaving it clearly didn't do much to put you off doing wrong again.
I will never raise a hand to my son, I don't think it teaches kids anything apart from that it's ok to hit/smack etc.
I disagree.
I did eventually become less naughty and I was terrified of the consequences, but I just played to the crowd alot.
I the found rugby and that was a good outlet for aggression.
Not punishing your son will likely end up with him thinking he can do and behave however he wants.
Or worse, become a dreaded 'mummy's boy'
Respectfully, your not necessarily doing him any favours"
oo Jester with respect to you I think you overstepped the mark there. You make assumptions about this lady based on one post and advice on raising children based on that isn't a good idea. You don't in my opinion make boys "minus boys" by not hitting them...that is actually preposterous!
I like your threads they are thought provoking and interesting but I have to disagree strongly with this post. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Oh yes. You're the guy that said family's that earn less than £45,000 per year shouldn't have kids.
The green arrow is your friend people.
OP. You seem to like contoversy.
popcorn.gif.
Why is that controversy ? It's a discussion
I just remember how the last thread went... "
That was the last thread.
A general reminder.....Can we keep away from dragging up other threads that are not relevant as it always spoils the next one.
Ta |
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I was smacked as a child and although I don't
think it did me any harm I still remember and because of this I don't smack my children. I don't want their childhood memories to be about being smacked. I find thr best way to deal with my children is to take away possessions. They hate this and if they know
that they are going to get wrong for something will run upstairs and hide them.
Mrs Curious xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I did miss behave I either got a good slap on my legs or attacked by mothers slipper.
Dad never took his hand to me.. Only once , he launched a wooden table mat at me, I ducked and it hit my spine. I threw myself on the floor and faked being in terrible pain. He got such a bollocking off my mum "
Hee hee. My mum threw a pack of butter across the table at me once for cheeking her when I was about ten. It hit me square in the forehead, I dropped to the floor feigning unconsciousness and my dad went nuts at her! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
If you regularly got whacked for misbehaving it clearly didn't do much to put you off doing wrong again.
I will never raise a hand to my son, I don't think it teaches kids anything apart from that it's ok to hit/smack etc.
I disagree.
I did eventually become less naughty and I was terrified of the consequences, but I just played to the crowd alot.
I then found rugby and that was a good outlet for aggression.
Not punishing your son will likely end up with him thinking he can do and behave however he wants.
Or worse, become a dreaded 'mummy's boy'
Respectfully, your not necessarily doing him any favours"
There are other ways to discipline a child without raising your hand to them |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
And this will probably go the same, but a good debate is fun
If you mean me getting gang humped and then banned because I don't agree with more popular posters with mods on their friends list, then yes it probably will go that way
And as per usual, I won't care in the slightest. I'll be back once I've done my time lol "
We are mods, we don't have friends, why do you think my middle name is Billy?
If you keep going over the same old ground about your ban you will end up banned again, so why not just drop it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think we need to go back to corporal punishment, but I do think punishments should be respected for they are.
Someone mentioned getting a bad from swimming for the whole term for breaking windows. I bet that would be seen as excessive these days and they would probably just get told off and then allowed to join straight back in.
I remember being assumed guilty whenever I got a punishment exercise by my parents (who were far from abusive and so loving it was untrue). They just had decent respect for the authority of a teacher that it was their word over mine.
Nowadays it seems to be the child is presumed innocent until never proven guilty, or by the time guilt is established it's too late for the punishment to be effective.
That's why I left the teaching profession  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a cattle prod set on low and if they are naughty I just give them a little jab hurts for a second and they don't do it again and it doesn't leave any marks if they have cloths on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
If you regularly got whacked for misbehaving it clearly didn't do much to put you off doing wrong again.
I will never raise a hand to my son, I don't think it teaches kids anything apart from that it's ok to hit/smack etc.
I disagree.
I did eventually become less naughty and I was terrified of the consequences, but I just played to the crowd alot.
I then found rugby and that was a good outlet for aggression.
Not punishing your son will likely end up with him thinking he can do and behave however he wants.
Or worse, become a dreaded 'mummy's boy'
Respectfully, your not necessarily doing him any favours"
That is nonsense.
you changed your behaviour for the wrong reasons - for the fear of punishment NOT because of the effect on others because of your actions.
by not hitting your child does not turn them into mummy boys. It does teach them to communicate and be man enough to be honest and own up to any wrong doing.
I have never hit any of my sons and believe me, they are tough strong boys. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When i was a kid i got smacked for being naughty but as i got older it stopped by the time i hit 13 my mum couldn't punish me so my behaviour got worse but now a days children know you cant smack them so they take advantage |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
To the people who say they were hit again and again as a child, that type of discipline it didn't work then.
When we were young we only had to get a look from my mum or dad and we stopped in our tracks but if we did something they didn't like we got grounded, that was worse than any smack across the legs as we could see friends out playing while we were stuck in our bedrooms with no home comforts that kids have in their rooms now....it was just a bedroom with furniture.
To someone else who mentioned you had "fear and respect" for your parents.....we had respect for our parents without fearing them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wasn't the best behaved child lack of adult supervision probably didn't help when not at school me and my bro played in the streets in disused buildings and on rope swings, I was from a working class family used to get corporal punishment from mum and dad and school I turned out ok'ish the worst punishment was being kept in I could take the cane and slipper (till i can't sit doen for a week) i never sat down i played and slept.
Being kept in my room would kill me so when they did hit me I played the pain up so they choose that punishment more then the grounding.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
If you regularly got whacked for misbehaving it clearly didn't do much to put you off doing wrong again.
I will never raise a hand to my son, I don't think it teaches kids anything apart from that it's ok to hit/smack etc.
I disagree.
I did eventually become less naughty and I was terrified of the consequences, but I just played to the crowd alot.
I the found rugby and that was a good outlet for aggression.
Not punishing your son will likely end up with him thinking he can do and behave however he wants.
Or worse, become a dreaded 'mummy's boy'
Respectfully, your not necessarily doing him any favours
oo Jester with respect to you I think you overstepped the mark there. You make assumptions about this lady based on one post and advice on raising children based on that isn't a good idea. You don't in my opinion make boys "minus boys" by not hitting them...that is actually preposterous!
I like your threads they are thought provoking and interesting but I have to disagree strongly with this post."
Thank you. I like to think so.
You'd be disappointed if I didn't push the debating boundaries.
Maybe I have gone to far.
But er, it's my opinion that counts to me
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Compassion and empathy are two of the biggest development areas for the immature brain. Without them kids won't understand for themselves why certain behaviors are wrong. Genuine respect is not grounded in fear.
Until they develop those attributes for themselves then 'respect' is based on fear of punishment. I do believe that fear of punishment is an important tool in developing maturity but I don't believe the actual punishment ever needs to be violence.
The use of violence shows a lack of imagination, a lack of patience and most importantly a lack of mature respect. |
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"Compassion and empathy are two of the biggest development areas for the immature brain. Without them kids won't understand for themselves why certain behaviors are wrong. Genuine respect is not grounded in fear.
Until they develop those attributes for themselves then 'respect' is based on fear of punishment. I do believe that fear of punishment is an important tool in developing maturity but I don't believe the actual punishment ever needs to be violence.
The use of violence shows a lack of imagination, a lack of patience and most importantly a lack of mature respect. "
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"
If you regularly got whacked for misbehaving it clearly didn't do much to put you off doing wrong again.
I will never raise a hand to my son, I don't think it teaches kids anything apart from that it's ok to hit/smack etc.
I disagree.
I did eventually become less naughty and I was terrified of the consequences, but I just played to the crowd alot.
I the found rugby and that was a good outlet for aggression.
Not punishing your son will likely end up with him thinking he can do and behave however he wants.
Or worse, become a dreaded 'mummy's boy'
Respectfully, your not necessarily doing him any favours
oo Jester with respect to you I think you overstepped the mark there. You make assumptions about this lady based on one post and advice on raising children based on that isn't a good idea. You don't in my opinion make boys "minus boys" by not hitting them...that is actually preposterous!
I like your threads they are thought provoking and interesting but I have to disagree strongly with this post.
Thank you. I like to think so.
You'd be disappointed if I didn't push the debating boundaries.
Maybe I have gone to far.
But er, it's my opinion that counts to me
"
I would be disappointed if you didn't push the debating boundaries but you don't do that by taking an idividual as an example and putting forward opinions about their actions that are based on very flimsy evidence...im my opinion of course .
Your opinion is certainly valid and should of course count to you but I'm sure you aren't stating it just to get everyone to agree with it
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I remember my dad smacking me so hard he broke the skin on my leg. I remember wetting myself with terror on another occasion when he hit me. I remember the teacher in primary school making naughty kids stand on a chair at front of class with their pants down. And as for the drama teacher!!!
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"I remember my dad smacking me so hard he broke the skin on my leg. I remember wetting myself with terror on another occasion when he hit me. I remember the teacher in primary school making naughty kids stand on a chair at front of class with their pants down. And as for the drama teacher!!!
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can only remember being smacked by my mum once, right across the back and it left a handprint for days.
It did nothing other than make me hate her. I didnt respect her for it and it didnt deter me from misbehaving.
I dont have to smack my kids to discipline them.
Lx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never did me any harm , whether from parents or school .
Short , sharp punishment , there and then , made life so much simpler .
And there was no chance I would make the same mistake again after a good hiding !
With today's society there is no real deterrent and it seems kids know they can get away with anything . |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Never did me any harm , whether from parents or school .
Short , sharp punishment , there and then , made life so much simpler .
And there was no chance I would make the same mistake again after a good hiding !
."
So did you only get the one hiding/ smack? |
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"Never did me any harm , whether from parents or school .
Short , sharp punishment , there and then , made life so much simpler .
And there was no chance I would make the same mistake again after a good hiding !
With today's society there is no real deterrent and it seems kids know they can get away with anything ."
By simpler do you mean it's much easier for all parties to deliver a clip round the ear? Job done and get on with life. It takes a bit more effort to talk about rights and wrongs and come up with a suitable non physical punishment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never did me any harm , whether from parents or school .
Short , sharp punishment , there and then , made life so much simpler .
And there was no chance I would make the same mistake again after a good hiding !
.
So did you only get the one hiding/ smack?"
Heck no , but for the same offence yes .
Various misdemeanours came with various punishments .
I see where you are coming from though ....
I don't know whether it worked or not as a deterrent any more or less than other measures |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never did me any harm , whether from parents or school .
Short , sharp punishment , there and then , made life so much simpler .
And there was no chance I would make the same mistake again after a good hiding !
With today's society there is no real deterrent and it seems kids know they can get away with anything .
By simpler do you mean it's much easier for all parties to deliver a clip round the ear? Job done and get on with life. It takes a bit more effort to talk about rights and wrongs and come up with a suitable non physical punishment. "
Yeah that would be a fair analogy |
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"Never did me any harm , whether from parents or school .
Short , sharp punishment , there and then , made life so much simpler .
And there was no chance I would make the same mistake again after a good hiding !
With today's society there is no real deterrent and it seems kids know they can get away with anything .
By simpler do you mean it's much easier for all parties to deliver a clip round the ear? Job done and get on with life. It takes a bit more effort to talk about rights and wrongs and come up with a suitable non physical punishment.
Yeah that would be a fair analogy "
Easy way out is often not the best. |
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I never got smacked above the age of about 10. My mums favourite trick was to get a wet flannel and hit me across the back of the legs, it really stung and left no mark.
I once walloped callums arse with a flipflop, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never did me any harm , whether from parents or school .
Short , sharp punishment , there and then , made life so much simpler .
And there was no chance I would make the same mistake again after a good hiding !
With today's society there is no real deterrent and it seems kids know they can get away with anything .
By simpler do you mean it's much easier for all parties to deliver a clip round the ear? Job done and get on with life. It takes a bit more effort to talk about rights and wrongs and come up with a suitable non physical punishment.
Yeah that would be a fair analogy
Easy way out is often not the best. "
I agree , I just don't feel I was abused .
It was as common then as the naughty step is today . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to get up to all sorts. Don't think there has been anyone that hasn't tried smacking me lol. Some of the things i got up to..bloody 'ell!
I remember going to evening schools and spending most of the evenings selling sweets and getting chased by the teachers all around the hall.
...recently went away for a week to a little community get together and all those teachers were there (now in their 70s and 80s) and i spent most of my time apologising for making their life hell and reminiscing the past - they remembered more of what i got up to than i did lol. But, i was still their favourite student.
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"
If you regularly got whacked for misbehaving it clearly didn't do much to put you off doing wrong again.
I will never raise a hand to my son, I don't think it teaches kids anything apart from that it's ok to hit/smack etc.
I disagree.
I did eventually become less naughty and I was terrified of the consequences, but I just played to the crowd alot.
I then found rugby and that was a good outlet for aggression.
Not punishing your son will likely end up with him thinking he can do and behave however he wants.
Or worse, become a dreaded 'mummy's boy'
Respectfully, your not necessarily doing him any favours"
hello my sexy friend what you doing here ????? Ohhh if you like I can smack ur bottom when we meet in June xxxx |
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Yes 'smacking' a child is abuse. What you are saying by thinking it is acceptable is its fine for anyone to hit anyone else for doing something they do not like. What is the difference between an adult 'smacking' a child and an employer hitting their employees! I honestly believe if as a parent you feel you have to use corporal punishment on your children you are a crap parent. I speak as a parent who is ashamed to say I once 'smacked' my oldest, I felt like I was the biggest bully ever afterwards and was sick to the stomach. Both my sons have grown into well balanced polite and hard working young men, we have a great relationship and enjoy each others company. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I haven't read all of the posts but the OP has made me wonder what was going on with him that he behaved like that and why nothing else but violence worked with him?
Our memories of our childhoods can be selective and I really don't believe children are born evil so something was going on early on that meant learning that extreme behaviour garnered a response.
I was hit and I remember those incidents vividly. I have spent time working out why I was the target and I know the abuse that my parents had as children directly led to one of them meting out the same treatment to me. You have to stop the cycle somewhere and I choose not to hit anyone, let alone a child.
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
I don't think it is a case of smacking or not smacking. It's a case of no meaning no. No arguments or discussion. And following through with threats. Also teaching a child respect and consideration for others. |
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