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Gym dilemma
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Joined a new gym 6 months ago (aswell as going my other gym, mix it up a bit).
Got speaking to a guy in there and asked if he could train with me on certain days.
hes a nice guy and although dont associate with him outside of the gym apart from one game of golf few weeks back, id consider him a gym friend.
so anyway this guy messaged me last week to say that while I was training in my other gym he got chatting and exchanged numbers with a girl from our gym that weve both thought was really hot.
I was made up for him as he has rubbish luck with women since ive known him.
they went out for the first time on the weekend.
I was in the gym this morning and she was on the machine next to me, I said hi and asked where martin was this morning, she said hes gotta come a bit later as his car is in for mot.
she then started asking me how long ive known him etc.
I joked and said how weve both thought she was hot for while now but didnt want to approach her as girls tend to just want to do their workout and be left alone, plus shes really attractive and amazing body we assumed she would have a fella.
Her eyes kinda lit up and she said she was dissapointed I didnt ask her for her number first as I am much more her type.
A little akward silence as I processed this for a moment.
She said not to tell him she told me that, I said dont worry I wont.
But now she knows I fancy her and I know that she fancys me and theres lots of catching each others eye and smiling the rest of time we was in there.
I already know the answer to this dillemma and thats just to sit back and say nothing and let their dating thing play out, the way hes talking hes gonna blow it anyway as they been out once and hes telling me hes falling for her already :/
Just gotta resist tempation I guess and even if things dont workout for them, its still probably best I dont go there as wouldnt feel right.
but but shes hotttttt ha ha
Watch this space I guess
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"^^What are you asking?...  "
Whether he should nick the woman out from under his mate's nose.
Except he's already said he knows the answer.
To be honest, if they don't work out I don't see any reason not to try it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"^^What are you asking?...
Think he's asking me out lol xx 
ha ha violet  "
Oops did I say that out loud ?
I must have been dreaming
I have never been in a gym |
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"He's only a gym buddy. If it doesn't work out with them I'd say slide right in there "
I doubt he would forgive me if I did... hes already a love sick puppy and on monday he was marking his territory by going over to her in gym and kissing her on cheek infront of everyone.
Basicaly letting everyone know shes his... butshe looked wquite uncomfortable. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"He's only a gym buddy. If it doesn't work out with them I'd say slide right in there
I doubt he would forgive me if I did... hes already a love sick puppy and on monday he was marking his territory by going over to her in gym and kissing her on cheek infront of everyone.
Basicaly letting everyone know shes his... butshe looked wquite uncomfortable. "
If he fucks it up, it's down to him. He's got his chance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's a possibility that the relationship between them might blossom.
So... You could tell the female friend to be honest with your gym buddy and break it off with him and prevent the heartache in the long run.
Or....
I'd tell your gym buddy "listen mate, she ain't feeling you, she wants me so you need to step aside and find someone else". 
Sorted  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well, to share my views, as its a forum and we are allowed lol.
if you move in on here, even after they split up, and dont leave it a good period of time, you are a shit friend, even though you have justified it to yourself saying he is not a proper friend, just a gym buddy, sounds like you spend a fair amount of your time at the gym, so expect your name, and reputation, to be shit there.
you havent helped his opportunity with her, though, as she now knows there is a 'better' option available, so will she really put the effort in with this other guy?
you shouldnt have said anything in the first place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well, to share my views, as its a forum and we are allowed lol.
if you move in on here, even after they split up, and dont leave it a good period of time, you are a shit friend, even though you have justified it to yourself saying he is not a proper friend, just a gym buddy, sounds like you spend a fair amount of your time at the gym, so expect your name, and reputation, to be shit there.
you havent helped his opportunity with her, though, as she now knows there is a 'better' option available, so will she really put the effort in with this other guy?
you shouldnt have said anything in the first place."
this will end in tears in my opinion  this happens at the gym i go to, if you really like going to this gym forget it whatever way you look at it ,at least one or two people will end up leaving the gym seen it done it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well, to share my views, as its a forum and we are allowed lol.
if you move in on here, even after they split up, and dont leave it a good period of time, you are a shit friend, even though you have justified it to yourself saying he is not a proper friend, just a gym buddy, sounds like you spend a fair amount of your time at the gym, so expect your name, and reputation, to be shit there.
you havent helped his opportunity with her, though, as she now knows there is a 'better' option available, so will she really put the effort in with this other guy?
you shouldnt have said anything in the first place."
Agreed that he totally stamped on his gym mates toes by telling this click that he thought she was hot too. But if she really is that hot, I am sure it was worth it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I had a mate who was not overly successful with women and who was chuffed to have got a date with someone he'd fancied for sometime, personally I probably wouldn't have hit on her at the first availability opportunity. And I'd probably be doing what I could to help him make a go of it rather than waiting for him to fall flat on his face. But each to their own... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"^^What are you asking?...
Whether he should nick the woman out from under his mate's nose.
Except he's already said he knows the answer.
To be honest, if they don't work out I don't see any reason not to try it."
Don't really see how it can work out as she has already told the op he is more her type . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I had a mate who was not overly successful with women and who was chuffed to have got a date with someone he'd fancied for sometime, personally I probably wouldn't have hit on her at the first availability opportunity. And I'd probably be doing what I could to help him make a go of it rather than waiting for him to fall flat on his face. But each to their own..."
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Yeap, great... Nick her from ya mate then she can do the same to you with the nxt guy that gives her the eye! Simples... Play the game to her beat! She loving it! Lol  nice! ( ps just for the record , I'm old sch, there's lines that just aint crossed) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeap, great... Nick her from ya mate then she can do the same to you with the nxt guy that gives her the eye! Simples... Play the game to her beat! She loving it! Lol nice! ( ps just for the record , I'm old sch, there's lines that just aint crossed) "
it sounds to me like games . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He's only a gym buddy. If it doesn't work out with them I'd say slide right in there
I doubt he would forgive me if I did... hes already a love sick puppy and on monday he was marking his territory by going over to her in gym and kissing her on cheek infront of everyone.
Basicaly letting everyone know shes his... butshe looked wquite uncomfortable. "
ah well if his doing that he deserves to be hurt ! he sounds like an insecure twat that wants to show the gym"look at the bird I pulled" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He's only a gym buddy. If it doesn't work out with them I'd say slide right in there
I doubt he would forgive me if I did... hes already a love sick puppy and on monday he was marking his territory by going over to her in gym and kissing her on cheek infront of everyone.
Basicaly letting everyone know shes his... butshe looked wquite uncomfortable. ah well if his doing that he deserves to be hurt ! he sounds like an insecure twat that wants to show the gym"look at the bird I pulled" "
with people like the OP in the gym, is it any wonder he feels the need to mark his territory? lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He's only a gym buddy. If it doesn't work out with them I'd say slide right in there
I doubt he would forgive me if I did... hes already a love sick puppy and on monday he was marking his territory by going over to her in gym and kissing her on cheek infront of everyone.
Basicaly letting everyone know shes his... butshe looked wquite uncomfortable. ah well if his doing that he deserves to be hurt ! he sounds like an insecure twat that wants to show the gym"look at the bird I pulled" "
Yeah all his own fault...  |
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"He's only a gym buddy. If it doesn't work out with them I'd say slide right in there
I doubt he would forgive me if I did... hes already a love sick puppy and on monday he was marking his territory by going over to her in gym and kissing her on cheek infront of everyone.
Basicaly letting everyone know shes his... butshe looked wquite uncomfortable. ah well if his doing that he deserves to be hurt ! he sounds like an insecure twat that wants to show the gym"look at the bird I pulled" "
If the guy doesn't have much luck with girls as the OP has said then no wonder he's smitten with this girl if she's as hot and lovely as the OP says. Yeah maybe it's too much too soon but that doesn't mean he's a twat or a show off, probably just made up that he's got a lady friend and not expecting a so called friend to be waiting for him to fuck it up.
With friends like that who needs enemies!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bros before hoes?
She knows exactly what she is doing and that is playing a game with both of you as she probably knew you both liked her way before either of you mentioned it.
If I was dating a guy and his mate came on to me like that, I'd blow him out and say nothing unless I wanted to play them off against each other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
So, are we to assume there are no fit birds, any birds, at your second gym?
Or is that just illogical?
Free forum "
you know the rules around the gym.
no woman is worth having unless you can outflex her present bloke lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are plenty of women around...I wouldn't ruin it for his mate (even if he is only a gym mate and not a proper friend )...just a bit below the belt for me.... |
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Hey thanks for all the replys I cant respond to each and every one.
I did say I was made up for him in my original post, which I am.
and I have no intention of stepping on his toes, infact quite the opposite as I tried to tell him not to be too over possessive or clingy and just be himself... when he walked over to her and just kissed her on the cheek (which she wasnt expecting) in front of bunch of guys, I told him he may as well as peed on her as he looked like he was marking his territory, which he was because as someone stated he is quite insecure.
im not looking for a relationship anyway andmaybe she is, I definitely know that he is, so I have no intention of ruining anything for him, its just gonna be akward when all 3 of us in gym at same time now, knowimg she fancys me more than my gym friend and my gym friend already knows I like her as we both always commented on how amazing she looks.
if he messes up and things dont work out, then if she wants to pursue anything with me knowing its not going to be anything serious then cool as im sure we could be discrete about it seeing as I dont see this guy away from the gym.
so yeah ill not interfere at all, infact im gonna train in the other gym for a couple weeks and leave him to it.
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"if she was interested in you why accept a date from him if he isnt her type, weird. Especially given that she knows you know each other. some peeps love a feckin drama !
"
was thinking the same thing to myself if im honest.
I dont know how women think half the time lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well, to share my views, as its a forum and we are allowed lol.
if you move in on here, even after they split up, and dont leave it a good period of time, you are a shit friend, even though you have justified it to yourself saying he is not a proper friend, just a gym buddy, sounds like you spend a fair amount of your time at the gym, so expect your name, and reputation, to be shit there.
you havent helped his opportunity with her, though, as she now knows there is a 'better' option available, so will she really put the effort in with this other guy?
you shouldnt have said anything in the first place."
true, if you didnt want her, you wouldnt of said you thought she was hot! |
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"well, to share my views, as its a forum and we are allowed lol.
if you move in on here, even after they split up, and dont leave it a good period of time, you are a shit friend, even though you have justified it to yourself saying he is not a proper friend, just a gym buddy, sounds like you spend a fair amount of your time at the gym, so expect your name, and reputation, to be shit there.
you havent helped his opportunity with her, though, as she now knows there is a 'better' option available, so will she really put the effort in with this other guy?
you shouldnt have said anything in the first place.
true, if you didnt want her, you wouldnt of said you thought she was hot!"
well technically I said we both thought she was hot. Which we did.
And in hind sight your right I shouldnt have, but I tend to have moments where I speak first and think afterwards.
Its one of my flaws lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you already have got involved.
you have already put doubt in her mind
you have already ruined it for him, no matter what he does or how good he is.
like i said, you COULD have kept your mouth shut, but you couldnt.
you had to be the big one and tell her you fancied her and thought she was hot, hoping for the reaction you have got.
glad i dont keep friends.
they are just out for themselves. |
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"Great idea with going back to the other gym for a bit and giving them some breathing space.
Fingers crossed for him that he gets some luck at last. "
yeah he deserves a nice girl. .. I do hope it works out.
if not ill be there to pick up the peices lol 
nah just kidding, ive already learnt from past experience dating somone from the gym is a no no anyway.
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"you already have got involved.
you have already put doubt in her mind
you have already ruined it for him, no matter what he does or how good he is.
like i said, you COULD have kept your mouth shut, but you couldnt.
you had to be the big one and tell her you fancied her and thought she was hot, hoping for the reaction you have got.
glad i dont keep friends.
they are just out for themselves."
you can think what ever you like, I know I have good morals and to my real friends im always there for them.
me and a female friend spent weeks leading up to xmas and xmas day volunteering to help homeless people.
so by all means think im some horrible person... I know who I am and my close friends know who I am so what others think of me I dont really care.
if I wanted to fuck it up for him id have exchanged numbers there and then but I didnt and I wouldnt. |
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I think it's time to keep it cool between you and the girl, as your friend was the guy that made the first move (before yours, which was when you told her that you'd fancied her for a long time).
Whilst your gym efforts have clearly paid off very nicely in your physique, I think it's important to not step on another's toes generally. By informing her that you fancy her, you've changed the dynamics of their relationship - albeit, they've been out once. As such, if it doesn't work out, you'd be best placed to show some respect to your friend, and not dive in quickly. Maybe he will need some tlc, to keep his spirits up, and if you date her straight off, whilst you've been in the know all of the time, then it smacks of kicking him whilst he's down, as he's likely to also face a harder time with a gym mate who's not been thinking about much other than his own attraction.
Maybe step up your friendship with your gym mate, as a first step. |
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"Gotta refer to the bro handbook.
U know the rule. It's no1
"
like I said a few posts up, im gonna train in my other gym for couple weeks, and in my original post at the bottom paragraph I say that even if things dont work out beyween them id probably not go there as I wouldnt feel right about it.
I do feel I need to say though, im in gym 45 mins to an hour and I see him maybe 3 times a week....
we dont hang out away from gym as we dont have much in common, I hardly drink and not really into football where as hes a bit younger than me and goes all the matches and loves to go out get wasted on weekends with his friends.
so its not like we are best chums or anything hes just a nice guy I know from the gym and if training the same body part he will jump in with me and do same workout.
As for people saying I shouldnt have told her we both thought she was hot prior to him asking her out... why not...
I was with somone for 15 years and she knew all my mates fancied her, girls like to know a guy finds her attractive.
I wasnt hitting on her as she was asking me all the questiins like how long have I been training there for, how well do I know martin, am I seeing anyone, and other stuff.
anyways its done now I cant take back what was said.
ill leave them to it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the words of Ron burgundy. Let the games begin, hooooooooo
Go for it
Bro handbook rule no2
Rule no1 is not valid if the chick in question is insanely hot.
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"In the words of Ron burgundy. Let the games begin, hooooooooo
Go for it
Bro handbook rule no2
Rule no1 is not valid if the chick in question is insanely hot.
"
ha ha she is incredibly hot. ... wayyyy out of my league or at least I thought so anyway.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"you already have got involved.
you have already put doubt in her mind
you have already ruined it for him, no matter what he does or how good he is.
like i said, you COULD have kept your mouth shut, but you couldnt.
you had to be the big one and tell her you fancied her and thought she was hot, hoping for the reaction you have got.
glad i dont keep friends.
they are just out for themselves.
you can think what ever you like, I know I have good morals and to my real friends im always there for them.
me and a female friend spent weeks leading up to xmas and xmas day volunteering to help homeless people.
so by all means think im some horrible person... I know who I am and my close friends know who I am so what others think of me I dont really care.
if I wanted to fuck it up for him id have exchanged numbers there and then but I didnt and I wouldnt."
helping the homeless is all well and good, but you didnt try and cock block any of them, did you?
me and my cousin fancied the same girl once.
he made his move first.
i was gutted
i lived with it
they fell apart
never saw either of them again lol
life lesson
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Ive not TRIED to cock block anyone.
I said the wrong thing by saying "we both thought you was hot for ages"
Instead of "hes thought you was hot for ages".
Not everyones perfect you know and says theright things.
Ive already said in another post im training only in my other gym for a few weeks...
And also if you read another post I have mentioned I only see this guy 3 times a week for around 45 mins ish.
we are not bossom buddys at all... just gym friends which it completly different to friends away from gym.
Enjoy your day miss venus |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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such a shame you cant treat all friends the same, whether close or not.
and its mr herc.
sorry if you felt it was a woman just having a hormonal go at you and all the guys here would back you up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never look at guys in the gym in that way, although I appreciate a good looking guy working out, I'm too into my training and I generally scare the blokes with the weights I lift anyway lol |
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"such a shame you cant treat all friends the same, whether close or not.
and its mr herc.
sorry if you felt it was a woman just having a hormonal go at you and all the guys here would back you up"
Your entitled to your opinion and thats fine.
I actualy think im being a good friend to him considering we are not proper friends.
I dont have to go train in another gym but I will, I didnt have to give him advice on telling him to play it more cool instead of being over the topl clingy.
think I should point somthing out too, hes younger, way better looking, 6ft 2.
ok hes slim with not much muscle but I wasnt to know she fancied me as me and him are total opposites... so if she give him his number I assumed he was more her type.
he goes out and gets laid most weekends when I said he has rubbish luck with women Imeant it as in hes looking for love badly which means usualy they never get back in touch becsuse hes too full on too soon.
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"I never look at guys in the gym in that way, although I appreciate a good looking guy working out, I'm too into my training and I generally scare the blokes with the weights I lift anyway lol"
ha ha |
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