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If you were being cheated on, would you want to know?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmm...tricky one! yes and no at the same time. Depends on the situation. If he was having a full blown affair behind my back then yes i'd want to know so I could leave him! if he had a one night stand and felt so bad that he'd never do it again, then probably not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes of course . No-one likes being lied to and made a fool of.
I think I would die of heartbreak if Jools cheated on me. She is everything to me, we been together for almost 30 years and I still go d her the most amazing sexy woman. There is a world of difference between swinging and cheating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmm...tricky one! yes and no at the same time. Depends on the situation. If he was having a full blown affair behind my back then yes i'd want to know so I could leave him! if he had a one night stand and felt so bad that he'd never do it again, then probably not. "
This  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I was faced by my other half saying I needed to know and was mistake etc think you can work from that its finding out its been going on months I dont think there is much hope then |
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I would absolutely want to know! I have a loathing for liers and wouldn't think twice about kicking the person to the kerb . Not going to waste a single second on a person who's cheated on me. They made their choice and ill make mine not to have them in my life |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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never actually met the guy, was just online banter some sexual some 'wish i could spoon you n kiss your forehead' kinda stuff
went on for over a year, always believed him to be single. not overly gutted that he's not, just disappointed he never told me from the start.
Just got me thinking of his gf,, 'if i was her, would i want to know'.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think i would
A big fat YES I would my fat cow of an ex cheated on me and I found out that my kids arnt my kids there his  "
That's low. Sorry to hear that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think i would
A big fat YES I would my fat cow of an ex cheated on me and I found out that my kids arnt my kids there his
That's low. Sorry to hear that."
Thanks I still see them there both in there teens I don't blame them just there mom my eldest want to come and live with me there both welcome to after all I've reased them from babes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Even though it would my heart I would want to know if I was being cheated on, my time is precious to me and I wouldn't want it wasted on someone that clearly didn't respect or want to be with me... Got much better things to do with my time  |
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"Yes I would so I can invest my precious time in more worthy areas than in someone disrespecting me."
This.
Thing is it's not the sex that would bother me it would be the lying and deceit that enabled the cheating to take place.
He'd have to go! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cheating is weird one its not the act of two people hsving sex I feel is the problem its the lying and the deceit surrounding it I have a problem with"
it was the lies that I couldn't cope with. I absolutely hate being lied to and he knew that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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no.
i have had it done, and it only hurt when i found out.
up until that point i was happily living in blissful ignorance.
even though lieing is the devils spunk, and honesty is all well and good, but when it hurts someone its not a good thing at all.
its just best not to cheat in the first place. |
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I'd want to know now.
Back when I was younger, I refused to believe my boyfriend was cheating on me, everyone was telling me he was, my best friend, my family. Refused to believe it. We were both working behind a bar at the time, the head bouncer dragged me into the office to make me watch CCTV where my boyfriend was fucking some girl against the fire escape.
The bouncers had to hold me down after that!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"id take it personally that I didn't satisfy him "
So would i but there will always be someone better looking or more interesting than you, if they get it handed to them on a plate do you expect them to say no, not that many would.
i dont think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just had it done to me, and no it was not nice to hear but I'm glad now that I found out. We were engaged four beautiful kids, the two youngest mine and one of them was only 5 months old at the time. It's the lies, deception, the betrayal and most of all being taken for a fool. Was better to find out how little I meant and our kids lives meant before we had gotten married. As soon as it came out I left her and the next door neighbour she was shagging left her to crawl back to his wife. Worth it? I don't think so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmm...tricky one! yes and no at the same time. Depends on the situation. If he was having a full blown affair behind my back then yes i'd want to know so I could leave him! if he had a one night stand and felt so bad that he'd never do it again, then probably not. "
I was going to say yes...I would definitely want to know. But then reading your post, you DO have a point. However....I have to wonder what would have driven him into the arms of another if only for one night. Does it say something about our relationship? |
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"I just had it done to me, and no it was not nice to hear but I'm glad now that I found out. We were engaged four beautiful kids, the two youngest mine and one of them was only 5 months old at the time. It's the lies, deception, the betrayal and most of all being taken for a fool. Was better to find out how little I meant and our kids lives meant before we had gotten married. As soon as it came out I left her and the next door neighbour she was shagging left her to crawl back to his wife. Worth it? I don't think so. "
sorry to hear that and i thought us women get the raw deal from the cheating men ,been there and it still hurts x
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I have been cheated on three times. The first time I didn't know until he told me he was getting married to her the next day.
The second time I told him he was cheating on me and he insisted he wasn't but he admitted it in the end. She was the right person for him as they are still together 18 years on.
The third time I told him and he denied it three times before admitting it and that's how I went from a couple's profile to a single on here.
I don't care who they have sex with but I do care about lies. Monogamy and fidelity are not the same.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"id take it personally that I didn't satisfy him
So would i but there will always be someone better looking or more interesting than you, if they get it handed to them on a plate do you expect them to say no, not that many would.
i dont think."
I wonder that too. I think that generally speaking, when it comes to sex and relationships, women are more emotionally driven than men. I think a lot of men see sex as just a physical release and therefore I agree that a lot would not be able to say no if the offer was there. A rather depressing thought that no matter how fabulous I am, if a woman more fabulous walks along and offers it to him....he is likely to say yes if he thinks he can get away with it.
Happy to be proved wrong but sadly. ..I dont think I am |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been cheated on three times. The first time I didn't know until he told me he was getting married to her the next day.
The second time I told him he was cheating on me and he insisted he wasn't but he admitted it in the end. She was the right person for him as they are still together 18 years on.
The third time I told him and he denied it three times before admitting it and that's how I went from a couple's profile to a single on here.
I don't care who they have sex with but I do care about lies. Monogamy and fidelity are not the same.
"
Its the lying and deceit that bothers me most as well. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Hmm...tricky one! yes and no at the same time. Depends on the situation. If he was having a full blown affair behind my back then yes i'd want to know so I could leave him! if he had a one night stand and felt so bad that he'd never do it again, then probably not.
I was going to say yes...I would definitely want to know. But then reading your post, you DO have a point. However....I have to wonder what would have driven him into the arms of another if only for one night. Does it say something about our relationship? "
Sex happens. We all get tempted by something at some time. Some are stronger at resisting temptation than others. It's when they keep doing it you have to worry, I think, because it's a habit then.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd want to know now.
Back when I was younger, I refused to believe my boyfriend was cheating on me, everyone was telling me he was, my best friend, my family. Refused to believe it. We were both working behind a bar at the time, the head bouncer dragged me into the office to make me watch CCTV where my boyfriend was fucking some girl against the fire escape.
The bouncers had to hold me down after that!!
"
I am sorry to hear that. It must have been traumatic to see it. But those bouncers obviously really cared about you to do that because they knew it would hurt you but it was the only way to get you to believe the truth about him so you didnt continue to be decieved like that. What a horrid boyfriend! Hope you are with someone who deserves you now. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmm...tricky one! yes and no at the same time. Depends on the situation. If he was having a full blown affair behind my back then yes i'd want to know so I could leave him! if he had a one night stand and felt so bad that he'd never do it again, then probably not.
I was going to say yes...I would definitely want to know. But then reading your post, you DO have a point. However....I have to wonder what would have driven him into the arms of another if only for one night. Does it say something about our relationship?
Sex happens. We all get tempted by something at some time. Some are stronger at resisting temptation than others. It's when they keep doing it you have to worry, I think, because it's a habit then.
"
Its an interesting point I admit. However....I would struggle to hear about even a one night stand as it was behind my back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me, personally. If someone starts cheating on you in a relationship, then the foundation of it was not solid in the first place. There would be no need to cheat, be it virtually or in real life if that bind was there initially.
You'd find out sooner or later anyway. I'd rather know so i can focus my time on someone worthy of it. Hence, i don't do relationships - if i say 'your mine and that i love ya' then that's that.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In just amazed at the lies some guys come out with on here to cover up the fact they are cheating.
I have been both the cheater and the cheated so yes I would want to know.
To add to that I have no issues with what people do as long as I know and can make my own mind up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I could forgive indiscretions, I attach no value to the act of having sex so it's not insurmountable to me. It's putting an organ in another organ. I'm not sure therefore lying or deceit in regards to one night stands is possible for us. I know about the women my husband has slept with and I trust him with my life so can't see him lying.
A full-blown affair based on love I don't think I could handle, that's a different scenario.
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"I'd want to know now.
Back when I was younger, I refused to believe my boyfriend was cheating on me, everyone was telling me he was, my best friend, my family. Refused to believe it. We were both working behind a bar at the time, the head bouncer dragged me into the office to make me watch CCTV where my boyfriend was fucking some girl against the fire escape.
The bouncers had to hold me down after that!!
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i have to clarify my post, if only for myself.
im not saying iwould be happy living with someone who was shagging behind my back.
quite the contrary, its very hard for someone to cover their tracks, especially a woman, when they come home wetter than normal or feel looser and so on.
however, i would much rather the relationship just end and them say we just arent working, than tell me they had been shagging someone.
i would much rather live with the fact we werent compatible in general than think im shit in bed as well as being a shit partner lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think i would
A big fat YES I would my fat cow of an ex cheated on me and I found out that my kids arnt my kids there his
 Wow! Can't begin to imagine how much that hurt!"
A lot my life fell apart x |
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By *opinovMan
over a year ago
Point Nemo, Cumbria |
Yes, definitely.
I've had it done to me by a couple of ex-girlfriends (once with my best mate) and it wasn't at all nice. All the same, I'm glad it came out so I could move on and get on with my life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think i would
A big fat YES I would my fat cow of an ex cheated on me and I found out that my kids arnt my kids there his
Wow! Can't begin to imagine how much that hurt!
A lot my life fell apart x"
Fucking hell that's callous, so sorry mate. We're not all like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If a relationship I was in got to the stage where one of us was being deceitful in any way, not just affairs, we would seriously question whether the relationship should continue |
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I would want to know but my reaction may be different depending on the intent of the person telling me. If it was pure concern then yes I'd want them to tell me and would be thankful that they told me.
If it was to try and force my partner into their arms then I would be grateful that they told me but angry that they only did it for personal gain. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes. I was cheated on. This site was the catalyst for it. I found out.
I was not a happy bunny!
But the best revenge - is living well. 
Would I want to know? Absolutely. |
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"Yes. I was cheated on. This site was the catalyst for it. I found out.
I was not a happy bunny!
But the best revenge - is living well.
Would I want to know? Absolutely."
Been there! Same thing.
Tried joint swinging for a while, but was still being lied to.
Still, I'm on here now, enjoying life more than I ever did with her, so I thank her for introducing me to Fabs! Lol!
And I would have preferred to know - the day I found out made me feel sick.
But I would never judge anyone that is on here behind their partner's back, as I don't know the reasons or background for the decision to be here.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think i would
A big fat YES I would my fat cow of an ex cheated on me and I found out that my kids arnt my kids there his
Wow! Can't begin to imagine how much that hurt!
A lot my life fell apart x
Fucking hell that's callous, so sorry mate. We're not all like that."
I know and thanks x I've just stared to see somone  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely. Swinging is one thing, cheating is another. We agreed our 'rules' before entering this wonderful world so if either of us ever saw another person without clearing it with the other first then, unfortunate as it may be, it would be unforgivable |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"If I was cheated on more than once by different guys I would start to question where I was going wrong in relationships that they felt the need to cheat all the while
"
I was attracted to emotionally unavailable men. Now I use that to my advantage and don't have relationships with them.
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