FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Can you choose to be attracted to someone or do you have no choice?
Can you choose to be attracted to someone or do you have no choice?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I personally am not so sure if you do have a choice as you become attracted to someone before you get to know them. Can you then choose not to be attracted if they are attached or some other circumstances? |
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Iv posibly more real female friend than male an I do mean just friends but iv felt an atracshen in an instant and over time from getting to know them so no my opinion is its not a choice thing it just happens |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you havent any choice in who you are attracted to.
the choice comes in whether you act upon that attraction or not.
however, there is a world of difference between attraction and love |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"you havent any choice in who you are attracted to.
the choice comes in whether you act upon that attraction or not.
however, there is a world of difference between attraction and love"
Are we talking physical or mental attraction?
If so - with physical then yes it's more of a choice - with mental it's more of an innate, spontaneous thing.
There's plenty of people I've initially been physically attracted to (personal choice due to preferences re looks - but that can change and is often down to the individual) that I've subsequently thought were twats (my inner voice shouting 'arsehole alert' in my ear!!  )
So I think attraction can be a question of both choice and a natural occurrence.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think attraction is a process that can be triggered in different ways. For instance on here it could be a mental trigger created by a post that resonates with my sensibilities or challenges my thinking and assumptions. Alternatively it might be a picture that makes me think 'phwoarr' or 'how lovely'. Those triggers may lead into conversations that may deepen the attraction or reduce or kill it all together. Meeting the person for real can do the same. All the way through the process there are both 'automatic' responses and choices being made. So I guess my conclusion is both  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree to my regret this week you can't help being attracted by someone it is built into us it's wether you do anything about it sometimes better to have a cold shower a deep breath and forget about it |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
I would agree with a lot of posters on this. For me, if there is no mental attraction then the physical one disappears and a mental attraction often leads to a physical one. Choosing to act on the attraction is another thing entirely... |
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"I would agree with a lot of posters on this. For me, if there is no mental attraction then the physical one disappears and a mental attraction often leads to a physical one. Choosing to act on the attraction is another thing entirely..."
Now theres a nice botty iv not seen before  
Sorry op couldn't help myself carry on lol |
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"I would agree with a lot of posters on this. For me, if there is no mental attraction then the physical one disappears and a mental attraction often leads to a physical one. Choosing to act on the attraction is another thing entirely..."
And couldn't agree more by the way spot on reply x |
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Yes I think we have the ability to choose .I don't think every person we find attractive or not is 100 percent innate some eliments are nurtured indoctrination x
There are indeed genetic absolutes but also cultural grey scale xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone has choices
I'm Attracted to a gentleman on here, his good looking and funny.... However his attached
So I control my attraction towards him - we chat but I won't meet him.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I personally am not so sure if you do have a choice as you become attracted to someone before you get to know them. Can you then choose not to be attracted if they are attached or some other circumstances?"
OP. Did you used to be called shallow hal on here?... |
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"you havent any choice in who you are attracted to.
the choice comes in whether you act upon that attraction or not.
however, there is a world of difference between attraction and love
Are we talking physical or mental attraction?
If so - with physical then yes it's more of a choice - with mental it's more of an innate, spontaneous thing.
There's plenty of people I've initially been physically attracted to (personal choice due to preferences re looks - but that can change and is often down to the individual) that I've subsequently thought were twats (my inner voice shouting 'arsehole alert' in my ear!! )
So I think attraction can be a question of both choice and a natural occurrence.
A"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I personally am not so sure if you do have a choice as you become attracted to someone before you get to know them. Can you then choose not to be attracted if they are attached or some other circumstances?"
You do Ron Ron you do Ron Ron |
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