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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
Hypothetically, if something happened around the time of your birthday that meant it would be a sad time and not a time you felt like celebrating, would you consider moving the day you celebrate? How would you choose the new date? Would you make it earlier in the year, or later? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No I wouldn't change it because its a Celebration of your life. Christmas Day is a horrible Day for my family, but we still have a good time and raise a toast to my Brother x x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't celebrate my birthday but if I did I would not move it. I would use the day to help me come to terms with whatever sad event happened at the time. I have a particular time of year when a few bad things happened and would always feel down at that time. After a few years I realised what the problem was and learned to deal with it |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I would put off or delay that year but not permanently as life goes on and there are always good memories to help resolve the bad "
How about if your family and friends were also affected by the incident and didn't feel they could/should celebrate at that time of year?
Would it feel like a celebration if you knew nobody's heart was in it and they were dwelling on other things instead? |
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princess diana died on my birthday .. it has been quite depressing living through that sad time every year .. but now im pleassd that i can remember her when she was alive and we share a special day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would put off or delay that year but not permanently as life goes on and there are always good memories to help resolve the bad
How about if your family and friends were also affected by the incident and didn't feel they could/should celebrate at that time of year?
Would it feel like a celebration if you knew nobody's heart was in it and they were dwelling on other things instead?"
Then you need to all sit and talk through the issue, help each other move on and live.
My dear friend has just lost his daughter, his son and daughter shared the same birthday, two year apart and she passed away a couple of days before their birthday.
It's going to be hard but at some point in the future they will have to make that a time of celebration for a beautiful woman and a beautiful life instead of a time of sadness.
No it will never be the same but different is not always worse xx |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"No I wouldn't change it because its a Celebration of your life. Christmas Day is a horrible Day for my family, but we still have a good time and raise a toast to my Brother x x "
Christmas is sort of fixed though whereas you could choose to celebrate your life at any time.
And at Christmas, the day means the same (more or less) to everyone whereas a birthday is only really special to the individual. If nobody else felt like celebrating, it might make the day miserable, or the person feel unimportant or something? |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
" Then you need to all sit and talk through the issue, help each other move on and live."
Ideally, yes but some of those involved, one in particular doesn't want to move on and doesn't feel he should. He says his life is over and nothing will ever be better again and he seems determined to make sure that is the case. He refused to celebrate Christmas and was miserable to be around.
You can only provide support if someone wants it and you can't force anyone to move on.
Plus it's difficult to move on when someone is determined not to and tries to make you feel bad for doing so, or trying to.
Maybe in time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Then you need to all sit and talk through the issue, help each other move on and live.
Ideally, yes but some of those involved, one in particular doesn't want to move on and doesn't feel he should. He says his life is over and nothing will ever be better again and he seems determined to make sure that is the case. He refused to celebrate Christmas and was miserable to be around.
You can only provide support if someone wants it and you can't force anyone to move on.
Plus it's difficult to move on when someone is determined not to and tries to make you feel bad for doing so, or trying to.
Maybe in time."
Time will help, plus support and love, good luck xx |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
" Then you need to all sit and talk through the issue, help each other move on and live.
Ideally, yes but some of those involved, one in particular doesn't want to move on and doesn't feel he should. He says his life is over and nothing will ever be better again and he seems determined to make sure that is the case. He refused to celebrate Christmas and was miserable to be around.
You can only provide support if someone wants it and you can't force anyone to move on.
Plus it's difficult to move on when someone is determined not to and tries to make you feel bad for doing so, or trying to.
Maybe in time.
Time will help, plus support and love, good luck xx"
Thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My mum died the day before my daughter's birthday. We knew she was dying & I hadn't left her side , but I was shopping quickly for my daughters presents & then got the call to say I had to get to my Mum's side quickly .
The next day I still celebrated my daughter's birthday the best I could with the help of fantastic friends who arrived & made party food & tea.
It was hard for the first couple of years, but now I think it was meant to be , as I have a sad day very year - followed by a happy day.
So no , to answer the question I wouldn't move a birthday. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No I wouldn't change it because its a Celebration of your life. Christmas Day is a horrible Day for my family, but we still have a good time and raise a toast to my Brother x x
Christmas is sort of fixed though whereas you could choose to celebrate your life at any time.
And at Christmas, the day means the same (more or less) to everyone whereas a birthday is only really special to the individual. If nobody else felt like celebrating, it might make the day miserable, or the person feel unimportant or something?"
The date is fixed yes and there was talk of us cancelling Christmas all together BUT life goes on and we make it special for the little ones  |
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