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Sexual disasters
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Apart from wishing that sometimes you hadn't bumped uglies with someone what's the most embarrassing or nearly embarrassing sexual disaster?
Recently Kermit and I used heat/tingle lubes.... Think we were a little heavy handed with the heat!! Burning loins, was panicking more about explaining to drs should we have ended up in a&e lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Apart from wishing that sometimes you hadn't bumped uglies with someone what's the most embarrassing or nearly embarrassing sexual disaster?"
I banged my head on a badly placed plug socket once.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Apart from wishing that sometimes you hadn't bumped uglies with someone what's the most embarrassing or nearly embarrassing sexual disaster?
I banged my head on a badly placed plug socket once. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I set fire to my company car, while having sex on the back seat lol
Lmao!!!! ....... How??? How did you explain that?? Lol"
No.
What he really means is she gushed into the 12v socket.... |
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"Apart from wishing that sometimes you hadn't bumped uglies with someone what's the most embarrassing or nearly embarrassing sexual disaster?
Recently Kermit and I used heat/tingle lubes.... Think we were a little heavy handed with the heat!! Burning loins, was panicking more about explaining to drs should we have ended up in a&e
lol "
Oh bugger !!! I have recently purchased some heat/tingle lube myself on the recommendation of a friend ... will wait for said friend to come and demonstrate I think !!!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Apart from wishing that sometimes you hadn't bumped uglies with someone what's the most embarrassing or nearly embarrassing sexual disaster?
Recently Kermit and I used heat/tingle lubes.... Think we were a little heavy handed with the heat!! Burning loins, was panicking more about explaining to drs should we have ended up in a&e
lol
Oh bugger !!! I have recently purchased some heat/tingle lube myself on the recommendation of a friend ... will wait for said friend to come and demonstrate I think !!! "
Omg these are just so funny!! They are great!! You don't need much heat!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was once in the middle of an impromptu liaison with a guy when I was at uni but he didn't have any condoms so I said I'd pop back to my room for some and then go back to his.
On my way back to his room I fell down the stairs and sprained my ankle. I crawled back up to my room but didn't have his number to let him know so he thought I just didn't turn up.
I tried to explain the next time I saw him but he was really embarrassed thinking I had second thoughts.
He was actually really fit and I was gutted I missed my chance lol |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
On a dirty weekend with a guy in his campervan after a session I accidentally stubbed my fag out on the ceiling, and the hot ash burned holes in the inflatable mattress. Which then deflated. Whoops. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I once had sex with a partner on the bottom bed of bunk bed.... At some point we switched from missionary to doggy and I somehow whacked my nose against the top bunk...With blood dripping onto her back....sexual proceedings came to an unsatisfying end... She was still horny and me embarrassed by my pathetic clumsiness |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I once had sex with a partner on the bottom bed of bunk bed.... At some point we switched from missionary to doggy and I somehow whacked my nose against the top bunk...With blood dripping onto her back....sexual proceedings came to an unsatisfying end... She was still horny and me embarrassed by my pathetic clumsiness "
I'm laughing that hard I sound like mutley!! Oh dear!! Brings a whole new meaning to safe sex!! I'm crying laughing so hard!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not me but a guy on here told me he'd had a meet at a woma's home, they were going hammer and tong on the bed and it collapsed....her rabbit was underneath it...a furry one... RIP bunny
I felt awful laughing but couldn't help myself lol |
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"I burnt my hands and lady bits with battery acid.
How the hell did you manage that? You could have ended up with serious injuries!  "
It was when I was newly single. I was laid in bed feeling all horny and thought I'd use my rabbit which had been sat in the cupboard for a while.
When i started using it, it was feeling good..then tingly which was still good, then tingling burning on my hands and lady bits. I have never ran to the bathroom so fast in my life! The batteries had leaked.
I had quite badly burnt hands and my bits were pretty sore too for a while...
I've sliced my clit a couple of times too whilst intricate wet shaving. 
Luckily (touch wood) I don't bare any scars and haven't had any accidents for a while. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Apart from wishing that sometimes you hadn't bumped uglies with someone what's the most embarrassing or nearly embarrassing sexual disaster?
Recently Kermit and I used heat/tingle lubes.... Think we were a little heavy handed with the heat!! Burning loins, was panicking more about explaining to drs should we have ended up in a&e lol "
Lol, been there! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not me but a guy on here told me he'd had a meet at a woma's home, they were going hammer and tong on the bed and it collapsed....her rabbit was underneath it...a furry one... RIP bunny
I felt awful laughing but couldn't help myself lol"
Haha haha Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhghhhhhhhh why was there a rabbit under the bed????? |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
Mr B's back went on him once while we were involved in an orgy.That was a bit awkward as he couldn't get up off the bed.
He has also fallen off the bed and once broke his toe by kicking the bed post.....I can't take him anywhere! 
I have stabbed a couple of men with my heels and kicked one by accident.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Threw up all over a girls pussy while eating it, steaming d*unk on my 18th birthday! "
That wins the most disgusting award lol!! Hell of a passion killer!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not me but a guy on here told me he'd had a meet at a woma's home, they were going hammer and tong on the bed and it collapsed....her rabbit was underneath it...a furry one... RIP bunny
I felt awful laughing but couldn't help myself lol
Haha haha Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhghhhhhhhh why was there a rabbit under the bed????? "
Well some people let them have the run of their house...bet she wished she hadn't. As I said, I felt awful laughing, the poor wee thing but I could not stop lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not me but a guy on here told me he'd had a meet at a woma's home, they were going hammer and tong on the bed and it collapsed....her rabbit was underneath it...a furry one... RIP bunny
I felt awful laughing but couldn't help myself lol
Haha haha Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhghhhhhhhh why was there a rabbit under the bed?????
Well some people let them have the run of their house...bet she wished she hadn't. As I said, I felt awful laughing, the poor wee thing but I could not stop lol"
Aww it's bad for poor rabbit but funny coz it's so wrong! Trying to keep a straight face!! |
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Was hailing sex standing up on a bed which was bouncy....bounced off the bed in a heap...I was d*unk so carried on, the next morning my one night stand had to take me to hospital and I had to tell work I fell off the bed changing a light bulb...I was in crutches for bloody ages |
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"Was hailing sex standing up on a bed which was bouncy....bounced off the bed in a heap...I was d*unk so carried on, the next morning my one night stand had to take me to hospital and I had to tell work I fell off the bed changing a light bulb...I was in crutches for bloody ages "
Having not hailing |
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Had a one night stand with a guy steaming d*unk. One minute I was in the middle of the bed the next I was laying on the floor with him standing over me. I'd slipped straight of the bed, banged my head on the unit which knocked the television off on to my head and knocked me out
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I've nearly stabbed guys with my heels in fact ones banned me since I tried to spear his arm to the bed, oh and the guy who was playing with my fanny and when I came I clamped my thighs together and dislocated his wrist
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've nearly stabbed guys with my heels in fact ones banned me since I tried to spear his arm to the bed, oh and the guy who was playing with my fanny and when I came I clamped my thighs together and dislocated his wrist
"
I've nearly done that to kermit!! I've even had a crazy orgasm and clamped down hard on his cock lol I thought we would need surgically removing lol |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I lit candles on the little table at the end of my bed and woke up in the night with the duvet smouldering............"
My ex had a friend whose partner and kids died in a house fire from leaving tea-lights burning on the telly.
Always put them out. Always. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I lit candles on the little table at the end of my bed and woke up in the night with the duvet smouldering............
My ex had a friend whose partner and kids died in a house fire from leaving tea-lights burning on the telly.
Always put them out. Always.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Getting down and dirty in a club, a MF couple and I went into a private room. The lighting been all wrong ( was too bright and I'm slightly body conscious ) I suggested an alternative way to alter the lighting . We were getting down n dirty and suddenly smelt burning!!! His pants,which I'd suggested he used as a lamp shade over the bulb, literally caught on fire! We were locked in the room with burning pants! Fortunately we managed to stamp out the fire ! Bloody hell. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Load of us on a night out in Newcastle..booked a hotel for the night.. 1of the girls with us bagged herself a bloke.. took him back to the hotel..stood against the bed getting started...she d stripped him and shoved him backwards on to the bed..naturally he grabbed her as he went down but she went too far over..cracked her head open on the wall and was out cold for a while... The lad came knockin on our door in a panic... Then legged it.....left me to deal with my very naked but sparked out friend....... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had sex with a guy a few years ago, but i wasn't extremely turned on, so wasn't really wet. He then decided to take baby lotion out of his drawer and slather it all over my nether regions when I didn't realise.
I'm absolutely sensitive below and it felt like he had set me on fire.
Ended up jumping into a frozen cold bath to cool it down and sent him to the shop for sudacrem... The first and last time i ever see him, funnily enough. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I set fire to my company car, while having sex on the back seat lol
Lmao!!!! ....... How??? How did you explain that?? Lol"
It was a VW the battery was under the back seat and someone had left the cover off the battery, our weight on the seat base pushed the steel frame onto the live terminal and heated up and set fire to the seat padding, luckily we noticed the burning and jumped out, pulled the seat out and stopped the fire. the only trace was a slight burnt smell in it lol |
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