FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Disappointed by someone?
Disappointed by someone?
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
Have you ever been disappointed by someone on here turning out not to be who/what you thought they were? Or by someone changing because of the site or swinging?
Or do you think it's just one of those things that happens and move on?
Does this site, or swinging in general, change people? Can the fora change people? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been disappointed, sure. but its a case of shrugging my shoulders saying 'oh well' and moving on.
does swinging, the site....or the fora....change people? possibly. i suppose it depends on the individual and their circumstances, in the case of swinging or the site.
in the case of the fora...im not certain to what degree that changes people and what degree is either showing their true colors or escapism by donning an online persona.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that sometimes disappointment comes from unrealistic expectations.
We get caught up in the excitment and horniness of it all and our minds start to run away with the faries lol
Ms Lp x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I have. Disappointed because they have said stuff and then backed off when I have agreed with them I want the same "
This has happened to me. Really disappointed in someone who seemed genuine but turned out I totally misjudged him. Shame you can't take veri's back sometimes! |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"I've been disappointed when they've refused point blank to shag me. What's that all about ffs?
I even said please 
Pah! You didn't even ask me.
Disappointed again!   "
I said shag, not restrained in a straight jacket, wearing a gas mask and having a hyperactive gerbil shoved up my arse |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
Myself for not seeing swinging for what it truly is earlier. If I have been disappointed in people it was because I wore rose tinted glasses for too long.
At the end of that day, many, many more good than bad.  |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I've been disappointed when they've refused point blank to shag me. What's that all about ffs?
I even said please
Pah! You didn't even ask me.
Disappointed again!
I said shag, not restrained in a straight jacket, wearing a gas mask and having a hyperactive gerbil shoved up my arse "
I'd never do that to a gerbil! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, I've been disappointed a few times over the years. Men who send out of date pictures and look totally different when you meet up and two men who claimed they were single and lied!! |
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I've been disappointed by a past meet yes as I didn't expect to be thrown out of the house cos of jealously (a learning curve for the couple) I understand to an extent why I was now but at the time it was a bit crap! Overall though for me personally it's given me a massive boost of confidence and I've gained much more than I expected to gain to be honest...made new friends, been confident enough to give clubs a try on my own, turned into a bit of a social butterfly! (I joined when I wasn't in the best of places in my life and had turned into a bit of a social recluse) Yes there are the time wasters, fakes, people that can't take rejection that we've all come across at some point but aside from that it's been a great experience and I'm enjoying it for however long it lasts! |
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I don't think it has changed me, I came into it with a realistic _iew that some you will like and see often and some you won't, we can't like everyone and I don't think anyone has truly disappointed me that I have met |
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"Myself for not seeing swinging for what it truly is earlier. If I have been disappointed in people it was because I wore rose tinted glasses for too long.
At the end of that day, many, many more good than bad. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've only truly been disappointed by one person on here....and even now I'm still not sure it was them disappointing me or me disappointing myself. It is bound to happen at some point with some people. We are all still human. I think it's easier to move on when the people that disappoint you in here aren't part of your everyday life and can easily be avoided. I wouldn't know whether swinging changes people or not. It hasn't really changed me. Just enhanced my life. I very much doubt that making the odd post on a forum is going to greatly change someone. You may well learn something. I don't know anyone on here well enough to say that they have changed our indeed to say that that change is because if swinging or the fora. I think us human beings are more complex than that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yes have been disapointed in a few people, i sometimes think you have to be a certain type of person to be a swinger. i think people kid themselves sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been disappointed when meets have gone really well (seemingly), they say they want to meet again then ignore all further messages and at worst block. Its a shame people just can't be honest but that's life on here I guess. |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
I'm always worried about disappointing people when I meet.
On the upside, I think I look less terrible in person than on my pics.
On the downside, I'm not sure I fully emanate the level of mirth and anarchy that people are dreading. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm always worried about disappointing people when I meet.
On the upside, I think I look less terrible in person than on my pics.
On the downside, I'm not sure I fully emanate the level of mirth and anarchy that people are dreading. "
This is pretty much how I feel. It's one thing to be chatty and do sexy flirty stuff online but it's a completely different thing to do it in person. I have no way of knowing if the online me is the same as the real me and I worry I'll be a total disappointment!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have been disappointed by some but I think everyone has in one way or another. Had a few surprises too.
This site hasn't changed me and it won't either. I won't change for anyone, I'm happy as is take it or leave it  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try not to have unrealistic expectations about people I don't know ...
Saying that one person turned out to be a tad odd - their comments made me change my opinion of them
Its life though isn't it - its what happens |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It has certainly given me a sort of quiet confidence to meet new people in real life and clubs etc.
This has also given me a massive boost in the vanilla world but also aware it could've gone the other way if I wasn't open to it. |
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Only disappointed with one meet from here. Had met him a few times while he was over and thought it was going to be a long term thing but his lies caught up with him. But as someone said you just move on |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
The site is a reflection of life, of society, of your local community to a degree. Of course, you will meet people who disappoint.
Question is... whose fault is it if anybody's?
The person who feels they have been let down?
The person who has disappointed?
A mismatch of expectations and reality?
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Disappointment mainly over free available time, or lack of it. The tiniest amount in others, that is easily brushed aside. I occasionally see some negative stuff in fora, but assume that is natural and part of the online world experience. Dont think the latter changes people though. |
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I've been disappointed - by people not being as they claimed, people lying, or otherwise behaving rather badly. I tend to be an optimist and have high expectations though.
But then occasionally I have been surprised, even delighted to find people were so much more than I expected in other ways.
I don't think it has changed me so far, but it is conceivable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's disappointments in all walks of life, guess that's down to our own expectations. Never been disappointed by anyone on here as my intuition plays a big part in the choices of ppl I meet or befriend. They've never let me down so far....
Wouldn't say this site has changed me, maybe opened my eyes a little, in a good way I may add. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nope not changed me. I was an oversexed gobby Manc slut before I arrived and I will be after I leave.
Never been disappointed with anyone we've played with. As for the let-downs, never try to predict human behaviour and you'll be fine.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's certainly changed me Mr liddy, and for the better I would think, it's made me much more tolerant and accepting, before we started swinging I used to be quite homophobic, but now I just accept people for who they are not wether they are gay or not,
And yes I get the irony with Mrs liddy been bi, but I'm my circles that I moved in that's how it was, girl girl cool boy boy blurgh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I thought a lunch social meeting planned for today. All set for 1pm. Then blocked for no apparent reason............"
you shouldn't feel disappointed in them,you should be sad for these kind of people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I thought a lunch social meeting planned for today. All set for 1pm. Then blocked for no apparent reason............"
I've had that a couple of times, it happens but its pretty sad people just can't say they've changed their mind. Blocking after seemingly getting on and arranging a meet is disappointing but you just have to believe you've dodged a bullet and move on. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
I have been a little disappointed by one or two people and hugely disappointed by someone, time has healed me though and I have things in perspective.
It did help me see things differently and move on and upwards, I'm grateful for that and going positive aspects to what happened.
I actually have no regrets as the experience hurt but is part of me, and It's behind me now.
I think it's probably almost a normal part of both life and Fab.
To those who are having a hard time, hugs and I hope you come through quickly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Disappointed in my own judgement of character in someone else....but it never disappoint in how many men want a buddy...lol....they need me more than i need them... |
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"Yes I have. Disappointed because they have said stuff and then backed off when I have agreed with them I want the same
This has happened to me. Really disappointed in someone who seemed genuine but turned out I totally misjudged him. Shame you can't take veri's back sometimes!"
You can block the veri is then removed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I thought a lunch social meeting planned for today. All set for 1pm. Then blocked for no apparent reason............"
If that's the case then that's just incredible bad manners - on the plus side - count yourself fortunate it didn't go any further given that type of behaviour  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only disappointed with one meet from here. Had met him a few times while he was over and thought it was going to be a long term thing but his lies caught up with him. But as someone said you just move on "
Yes there lies do catch them in the end and I think I was upset I never see it, As felt I could read people well .. was a lesson maybe I had to learn in life maybe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you ever been disappointed by someone on here turning out not to be who/what you thought they were? Or by someone changing because of the site or swinging?
Or do you think it's just one of those things that happens and move on?
Does this site, or swinging in general, change people? Can the fora change people?"
We have learnt never to set our expectations too high. Life in general. |
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I'd rather be disappointed than disappoint someone, been let down and led on by "genuine" folk only to find they're just playing you off against 20 other guys, it's shite but my conscience is clear, I simply don't have the heart to take the piss with folks feelings, if I say I'm going to meet someone i will and I don't make wild promises before hand as you never truly know how you'll get on until your face to face I think. Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After the disappointment of today and the apathy that some people have on FAB perhaps its time to hang up ones spurs?
I know lots of you will miss my sharp humour and intellect but the time has arrived when enough is sufficient! |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"After the disappointment of today and the apathy that some people have on FAB perhaps its time to hang up ones spurs?
I know lots of you will miss my sharp humour and intellect but the time has arrived when enough is sufficient!"
5 weeks isn't very long at all for anyone on this site.
I can understand though and it's your decision whether this site is right for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After the disappointment of today and the apathy that some people have on FAB perhaps its time to hang up ones spurs?
I know lots of you will miss my sharp humour and intellect but the time has arrived when enough is sufficient!"
I know it took me a while to get used to the Fab way of messaging, meeting etc etc but having been on here now for way longer than I ever envisaged I'm having a fun time.
Don't take it too seriously is the key to success. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you use the site may as well get used to been disappointed, too many fake accounts and people who don't show up. You just have to shrug it off and move on |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I have been disappointed that some people I would like to explore physically don't fancy me but it's not the end of the world.
The forum has enabled me to meet a lot of people socially and some have become friends, on here and some out there in the real world. The change has been that as I go to different places now I will look to see who lives there and ask to meet for a meal or drink.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know some really reverential guys who have left this site due to the appalling treatment they've received and to be honest I've admired them for it as they know, as do I, that they deserve better |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After the disappointment of today and the apathy that some people have on FAB perhaps its time to hang up ones spurs?
I know lots of you will miss my sharp humour and intellect but the time has arrived when enough is sufficient!
I know it took me a while to get used to the Fab way of messaging, meeting etc etc but having been on here now for way longer than I ever envisaged I'm having a fun time.
Don't take it too seriously is the key to success. x"
Think this is very true, the most successful people seen to have a sense of fun, be quite curious and keep it light-hearted, I do think you need a fairly thick-skin too though if you're going to really enjoy it as you'll invariably have to face some disappointments and the odd idiot (that term is relative of course) It's key not to let the bad moments overshadow all the good ones.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have had fun do not get me wrong and met some lovely people.
It was just the severity of today. First I invite a lady to lunch, all agreed place and time etc then its off because ex hubby has hacked her account then I am blocked. After all that I am unblocked and asked if I want to keep the date but when I request a phone call to discuss the meet I am told that she don't speak on the phone. Am I talking to her or hubby in any event she (they) have my phone number. All quite bizarre and the final straw! |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
If you don't expect too much you'll not be disappointed. Or at least that works for me. If a meet is not what I wanted, I move on. If I get stood up I block, report, and move on. I don't tend to get as rampantly horny as I used to so don't get too worked up about meets. And maybe I've been lucky, but the majority of my meets have been awesome. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have had fun do not get me wrong and met some lovely people.
It was just the severity of today. First I invite a lady to lunch, all agreed place and time etc then its off because ex hubby has hacked her account then I am blocked. After all that I am unblocked and asked if I want to keep the date but when I request a phone call to discuss the meet I am told that she don't speak on the phone. Am I talking to her or hubby in any event she (they) have my phone number. All quite bizarre and the final straw!"
Sorry that's a crappy situation.
Tis the kind of thing you can come up against. Sadly not everyone is straightforward and honest but a great many are. |
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