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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've been getting hassled a bit now from a member here to meet up and its... well to be honest, getting on my fooking nerves now. Told said member I don't meet at the drop of a hat but then still asks to meet  , now I've had conversations with friends here about my lack of meeting people basically because I don't believe being pushy about a meet will get me anywhere, but was then told I should be more assertive if I want to meet peeps.
is there a fine line between being pushy and being assertive? or are they both the same and its down to the receiver how they see you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a tough line to tread. I'd be the same as you, can't just meet anytime at all, though I enjoy a good meet it's not the only thing in my life that's important. I've actually had the opposite problem lately though. Someone keeps saying they want to meet and we did meet once, so I keep suggesting places & times, they don't bother organising so I say hey thanks but I don't want to be be messed about, then they plead some excuse and insist they still want to meet and not to leave it. Timewasters are just as bad! |
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I dont know cause i never ask to meet anyone i let them do the asking, and if there the sort of person im interested in i take things further, but no i dont meet at the drop of a hat never have never will (unless its someone i know really well) Male or female its your perogative to meet as and when you are comfortable to do so. If they dont want to wait, tough plenty more that will |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been getting hassled a bit now from a member here to meet up and its... well to be honest, getting on my fooking nerves now. Told said member I don't meet at the drop of a hat but then still asks to meet , now I've had conversations with friends here about my lack of meeting people basically because I don't believe being pushy about a meet will get me anywhere, but was then told I should be more assertive if I want to meet peeps.
is there a fine line between being pushy and being assertive? or are they both the same and its down to the receiver how they see you?"
I believe there is a world of difference between being assertive and being pushy.
What I don't understand is the contradiction in your post and in your status line. Maybe you lead people on when you don't want to meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't believe theres a fine line between assertive and pushy
Being assertive is letting people know what you want
Being pushy is telling them you want it now whether they do or not  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been getting hassled a bit now from a member here to meet up and its... well to be honest, getting on my fooking nerves now. Told said member I don't meet at the drop of a hat but then still asks to meet , now I've had conversations with friends here about my lack of meeting people basically because I don't believe being pushy about a meet will get me anywhere, but was then told I should be more assertive if I want to meet peeps.
is there a fine line between being pushy and being assertive? or are they both the same and its down to the receiver how they see you?"
There is, in my mind, an imaginary boundary between people which is crossed when one person oversteps the line and becomes pushy thus invading the other person's space.
An assertive person would calmly, politely and firmly point out this overstepping and asking the "offender" to respect the boundary by not being pushy. There is a big difference between assertive and aggressive. |
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