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rules, boundaries, protocols and ykiokijnok
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm undecided about the swing scene, are there rules and protocols etc as listed above that people in the swing scene actually promote and keep to.
Yes you have the if a girl says no it means no rule but that seems to be it. I took her to a swingers club last night to test and what l found was some of the guys moaning about locked doors with playing partners inside, some guys wanking uninvited inches from my sub female as if it didn't matter. One person who l won't name felt it was ok to hug my sub without permission, yes it's all very friendly but you can't just put your hands on my property.
Now l know some may get upset at the use of that word property but it lies within the agreed consensual terms of our relationship.
In the D's fet world we have defined rules and in the club and at events we attend enforced by the D.M's. Maybe it changes from club to club. Your thoughts please.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yes there is typically protocol at a club but that protocol is vastly different than at a fetish club. many swingers are also into the fet scene but many aren't and have no understanding of the dynamic involved.
part of what you describe are instances of people who are most likely simply selfish, self oriented, and disrespectful individuals with a high sense of self entitlement, i.e. moaning about locked doors or wanking inches from your subs face. conversely, they may be new to swinging and aren't aware of the protocol.
likewise, part of what you describe, i.e. hugging your sub without permission, is likely someone who does not understand the D/s dynamic... in particular the dynamic between the two of you. to other D/s couples the hug would not have offended or infringed on the dynamic as it pertains to them.
My suggestion is to simply communicate to people when in a club. life is full of the types of individuals you described and a club outside of the fetish scene is no different than any other venue full of a wide variety of individuals. some are nice, genuine, respectful people by nature and some are not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have to say that I am used to the way DMs run fetish clubs. It always made me feel safe as it was their job to ensure all played safely. Anyone found behaving disrepectfully or god forbid, dangerously was politely but firmly asked to leave. Yes...we all have our boundaries but even in the fetish clubs...there were rules that everyone was expected to abide by.This served several purposes: the paramount safety and enjoyment of others, the reputation of the club and the wider reputation of the fetish scene. When I began attending swinging clubs, I found the 'security' far more varied. Some are very good and I feel very safe and respected. Others....are very lax and leave it to individuals. As a single woman....battling against the persistent bad behaviour of SOME single guys...was exhausting and spoilt many a good evening that I knew would never have been tolerated in a fetish club as he would have been asked to leave. |
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