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Sex N Shit
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"Not quite sure how to put this politely, but during sex with 2 different women (at different times), they have both shitted themselves while I was sexing them, and neither of them had any idea that they had done it!! Getting abit of a complex now. Any ideas why they do this people????"  | |||
"Not quite sure how to put this politely, but during sex with 2 different women (at different times), they have both shitted themselves while I was sexing them, and neither of them had any idea that they had done it!! Getting abit of a complex now. Any ideas why they do this people????" sexing ?  | |||
"Not quite sure how to put this politely, but during sex with 2 different women (at different times), they have both shitted themselves while I was sexing them, and neither of them had any idea that they had done it!! Getting abit of a complex now. Any ideas why they do this people????" They are trying to tell you something about your technique?.....  | |||
" They are trying to tell you something about your technique? " | |||
"Not quite sure how to put this politely, but during sex with 2 different women (at different times), they have both shitted themselves while I was sexing them, and neither of them had any idea that they had done it!! Getting abit of a complex now. Any ideas why they do this people????sexing ? "I was too gobsmacked to notice the sexing bit but pmsl now | |||
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"Are you sure you got the right hole??? "coffee on screen moment thanks wishy  | |||
"Not quite sure how to put this politely, but during sex with 2 different women (at different times), they have both shitted themselves while I was sexing them, and neither of them had any idea that they had done it!! Getting abit of a complex now. Any ideas why they do this people????" there wasnt a man with a lynx can about was there? | |||
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"maybe I was going in too deep????" | |||
"maybe I was going in too deep???? "Is this the bit where you tell us all what an enormous cock you have? Or am I just being cynical again? Slap my wrist | |||
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"maybe I was going in too deep???? "more than 4 inches ????? | |||
"Not quite sure how to put this politely, but during sex with 2 different women (at different times), they have both shitted themselves while I was sexing them, and neither of them had any idea that they had done it!! Getting abit of a complex now. Any ideas why they do this people????there wasnt a man with a lynx can about was there?" i think you WANT him to come back
its like beetlejuice you know, mention him enough times and POOF he is back begging people to watch him  | |||
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"maybe I was going in too deep???? "I have a feeling there's more to this story to come!  | |||
"maybe I was going in too deep????
Is this the bit where you tell us all what an enormous cock you have?
Or am I just being cynical again?
Slap my wrist"you???? never!!!!  | |||
"Perhaps they were passing an opinion? ;-)" gone with the wind | |||
"Are you sure you got the right hole???
coffee on screen moment thanks wishy "There could be another explanation but it's a bit yuk so if you've just had something to eat you may want to click the 'back' button... He could be sexing corpses, the body does funny things as its stiffening up doesn't it. And you know how morticians have to plug every hole cos of seepage. Well, it's a thought!! He could be! Possibly.... maybe.... ok, I have a sick mind, I'm in therapy on Thursday, or is that the dentist????  | |||
"maybe I was going in too deep???? "no such thing as TOOO DEEP unless your dick is rubbing her tonsils | |||
"Not quite sure how to put this politely, but during sex with 2 different women (at different times), they have both shitted themselves while I was sexing them, and neither of them had any idea that they had done it!! Getting abit of a complex now. Any ideas why they do this people????there wasnt a man with a lynx can about was there? i think you WANT him to come back
its like beetlejuice you know, mention him enough times and POOF he is back begging people to watch him "well hes entertaining if nowt else, no lynx cans allowed in this house though ANYMORE | |||
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", I have a sick mind, I'm in therapy on Thursday, or is that the dentist???? "colonic irrigation therapy? | |||
"Being serious unlike the rest aparently it can happen when a woman has an really intence orgasm i have heard this before but not sexing lol" Only ever had it happened to me once before and it wasn't cos she had an orgasm, it was cos she had piles and I think I hit one of em with my abdomen! | |||
", I have a sick mind, I'm in therapy on Thursday, or is that the dentist????
colonic irrigation therapy? "was meant to post a smiley pmsl | |||
"I reckon he was actually sticking it in the arse of the husband by mistake?" that sounds a difficult mistake to make | |||
" He could be sexing corpses, the body does funny things as its stiffening up doesn't it. And you know how morticians have to plug every hole cos of seepage. Well, it's a thought!! He could be! Possibly.... maybe.... ok, I have a sick mind, I'm in therapy on Thursday, or is that the dentist???? "Reminds me of my favourite chat up line..holds handkerchief up to lady,"Say does this smell like Rohypnol to you?" | |||
"Being serious unlike the rest aparently it can happen when a woman has an really intence orgasm i have heard this before but not sexing lol Only ever had it happened to me once before and it wasn't cos she had an orgasm, it was cos she had piles and I think I hit one of em with my abdomen! "omg... my visualisation techniques need improving... | |||
"I reckon he was actually sticking it in the arse of the husband by mistake? that sounds a difficult mistake to make "Only if you pretend to be surprised as you do it....oooooops | |||
"I reckon he was actually sticking it in the arse of the husband by mistake? that sounds a difficult mistake to make "2 bums in the air candlelight copious ammounts of wine easy! | |||
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"I reckon he was actually sticking it in the arse of the husband by mistake? that sounds a difficult mistake to make
2 bums in the air
candlelight
copious ammounts of wine
easy! "Yeah any stud could make that mistake......he's only feckin human | |||
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"yes you have a sick mind lol, they were both alive and movin, and no to the other thread, my cock isnt big, its average" Well as your profile is hidden no one will know
The thread though has made me smile though | |||
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"Thank you OP, made me laugh, tears streaming down my face here "YOU N ME BOTH Its a hysterical rectomy | |||
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"Thank you OP, made me laugh, tears streaming down my face here
YOU N ME BOTH
Its a hysterical rectomy "Dont!!! LMFAO, i got a pain now....silly bugger...ooooooooh pardon the pun  | |||
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"the profile is hidden because im now in a couple situation so not looking for any more female friends for the time being..but thanks people for your not so great help! lol - women, just cant trust em, any chance they get they want to shit on a fella!!" You be careful, it's dangerous out there fella! | |||
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"I now have visions of the OP getting ready to go on a meet... wash, shave, shower, sh... nah, later.... gets dressed, wallet, keys, roll of Andrex Industrial Strength, noseplugs, gas mask. Swinging isn't what you thought it'd be, is it? "hey some folk pay for that you know and expect to not pay for the "extra's" | |||
"PATIENT.....Doctor, doctor, every time I is sexing womens they is shittings... DOCTOR.....I suggest you take the scary mask off first" Fuck!!!!!!!! need a new keyboard now, tea all over the place..... | |||
"PATIENT.....Doctor, doctor, every time I is sexing womens they is shittings... DOCTOR.....I suggest you take the scary mask off first" funny .......im really laughing so out loud my neighbours can hear me`!!!! | |||
"PATIENT.....Doctor, doctor, every time I is sexing womens they is shittings... DOCTOR.....I suggest you take the scary mask off first Fuck!!!!!!!! need a new keyboard now, tea all over the place....." ... Is making every effort to keep all bevearges away from the keyborad when perusing this thread | |||
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"This may sound stupid but may I ask where you met these ladies? It wouldn't have been at the Thursday night clinic for the incontinent, would it?" thought that was on Mondays? | |||
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"they was both over 45, is that something old women do, if so i will stop and find younger women to play with!" just invest in a cpl of BUTT plugs sunshine | |||
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"they was both over 45, is that something old women do, if so i will stop and find younger women to play with!" I thought you just said you had stopped meeting females now anyway? | |||
"they was both over 45, is that something old women do, if so i will stop and find younger women to play with!" My auntie is 73 and a swinger and she never done that! Don't think it has to do with age - you must have been so terrific that they just lost themselves in their orgasms. | |||
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"giving senakots instead of a glass of wine is never wise no matter how much money you save" | |||
"they was both over 45, is that something old women do, if so i will stop and find younger women to play with! I thought you just said you had stopped meeting females now anyway? " | |||
"they was both over 45, is that something old women do, if so i will stop and find younger women to play with! My auntie is 73 and a swinger and she never done that! Don't think it has to do with age - you must have been so terrific that they just lost themselves in their orgasms. " Well he is a bit of a stud | |||
"both women are from this site! maybe they have weak muscle control??? maybe too much anal in the younger days" i hope u left them a sympaehetic verification ......."would have been a fantastic meet if the lady of the house hadnt shit herself while i was sexing her" | |||
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"they was both over 45, is that something old women do, if so i will stop and find younger women to play with! I thought you just said you had stopped meeting females now anyway?
"Using my cat's eyes tonight to spot the deliberate mistakes | |||
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"both women are from this site! maybe they have weak muscle control??? maybe too much anal in the younger days" OK it's stopped being funny now. You aren't being terribly discreet OP. Perhaps you need to consider your technique but more importantly your sense of invasion of people's privacy. We may be making fun but there is a serious issue here. | |||
"i wish i never asked now! so how do u close/delete a forum?" Seriously? Dont take it personal - I am sure none of the above was intended to be malicious, just a bit of clean fun. xx | |||
"i wish i never asked now! so how do u close/delete a forum?" You don't have that option - and tbh you can't deprive us of all these giggles | |||
"i wish i never asked now! so how do u close/delete a forum? Seriously? Dont take it personal - I am sure none of the above was intended to be malicious, just a bit of clean fun. xx" There is nothing clean about shit | |||
"well im pissing myself here, and you havent laid a finger on me...god youre good!!! "me too cheered me up after a very long day at work ....im going to sleep smiling !! | |||
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"i wish i never asked now! so how do u close/delete a forum?" Take no notice of the meanies lol there just teasing you | |||
" just a bit of clean fun. " oh... someones changed the sheets already then? | |||
"they was both over 45, is that something old women do, if so i will stop and find younger women to play with! My auntie is 73 and a swinger and she never done that! Don't think it has to do with age - you must have been so terrific that they just lost themselves in their orgasms. " Would your anutie tell you if she had. "Here's yas birthday card sweetie and by the way, I crapped down this fellas leg last night as he was sexing me. Enjoy your day." hehehe | |||
"I think if he makes grown women shit themselves he should see a scientist Maybe we have found a new biological weapon to use against the terrorists" Sounds like that film about men who kill goats by mind control.
sorry i must be a little warped but i just love this thread its Hilarious | |||
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"I think if he makes grown women shit themselves he should see a scientist Maybe we have found a new biological weapon to use against the terrorists Sounds like that film about men who kill goats by mind control.
sorry i must be a little warped but i just love this thread its Hilarious "got to be the best thread weve ever had!! tears streaming down my cheeks...send in a search party for the wrist watch !! !!! | |||
"Remember the thread about Movie Quotes I posted Full Metal Jacket? It had the bit about the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's arse and formed a brown stain on the mattress.." Didn't you just say it wasn't funny anymore?? | |||
"Remember the thread about Movie Quotes I posted Full Metal Jacket? It had the bit about the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's arse and formed a brown stain on the mattress.." Fekin ell i spilt mi coffee reading that! Got to stop laughing here before i do my self a mischief | |||
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"Remember the thread about Movie Quotes I posted Full Metal Jacket? It had the bit about the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's arse and formed a brown stain on the mattress.. Fekin ell i spilt mi coffee reading that! Got to stop laughing here before i do my self a mischief "OR He was only supposed to blow the bloody doors off | |||
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"Remember the thread about Movie Quotes I posted Full Metal Jacket? It had the bit about the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's arse and formed a brown stain on the mattress.. Didn't you just say it wasn't funny anymore?? "There are a few contradictory posts on here now - but it is still one of the funniest ones in a long time | |||
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"Didn't you just say it wasn't funny anymore?? "The responses are funny, but really do mean the OP should stop digging himself in even deeper. Semper in excretum sole quantum variat* as CLL puts it. *Trans: Always in the shit, only the depth varies. | |||
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"There is a solution to the OPs dilemma, put a cork in her ass before you start, as insurance like. I'm not sure how you'll broach the subject but you could offer a prayer that she's a kinky fucker possibly." I suggested he invest in some BUTT plugs Maybe he needs superglue instead just to be sure one doesn't go off accidentally | |||
"Got it.......the woman in question was deaf and dumb, her shitting herself was just sign language for "you were a crap shag mate"" haha some men never listen no matter what language a women uses | |||
"There is a solution to the OPs dilemma, put a cork in her ass before you start, as insurance like. I'm not sure how you'll broach the subject but you could offer a prayer that she's a kinky fucker possibly. I suggested he invest in some BUTT plugs Maybe he needs superglue instead just to be sure one doesn't go off accidentally" oooooooooooooh could take an eye out | |||
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"....but remember... when you extract yourself from her... move fucking quickly or you may get shot." would be more volatile that a bottle of bubbly on NYE | |||
"There is a solution to the OPs dilemma, put a cork in her ass before you start, as insurance like. I'm not sure how you'll broach the subject but you could offer a prayer that she's a kinky fucker possibly. I suggested he invest in some BUTT plugs Maybe he needs superglue instead just to be sure one doesn't go off accidentallyoooooooooooooh could take an eye out" your right not a good idea health and safety | |||
"....but remember... when you extract yourself from her... move fucking quickly or you may get shot. would be more volatile that a bottle of bubbly on NYE" Was her nickname Champarse by any chance? | |||
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"aww come on lets face it we all know someone who has had a woman shit on them but to be fair it is normally during the divorce proceedings lol "That reminds me of the immortal line from Shawshank... "What you in for?", "Lawyer fucked me!" | |||
"aww come on lets face it we all know someone who has had a woman shit on them but to be fair it is normally during the divorce proceedings lol
That reminds me of the immortal line from Shawshank... "What you in for?", "Lawyer fucked me!" "Is one of the best films ever | |||
"aww come on lets face it we all know someone who has had a woman shit on them but to be fair it is normally during the divorce proceedings lol
That reminds me of the immortal line from Shawshank... "What you in for?", "Lawyer fucked me!"
Is one of the best films ever "Yup. One of my faves too. | |||
"doubt we'll be going there again, if you can put your hand up a woman wrist deep, in my books you aint someone I wanna see again!" No, its when you can get both hands up there............... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .... and clap, that you realise she is a bit slack! | |||
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"I didn't realise how "childish" i was until I read this thread - some of you really should give up your day jobs and go on the stage...hilarious!!
"Well after reading it i am not sure if the serious and semi serious ones are in essence funnier than the micky takers. I would be fascinated to hear what the defecating women think of his concerns! | |||
"Not quite sure how to put this politely, but during sex with 2 different women (at different times), they have both shitted themselves while I was sexing them, and neither of them had any idea that they had done it!! Getting abit of a complex now. Any ideas why they do this people????there wasnt a man with a lynx can about was there?" pmsl....tea nearly went everywhere then | |||
"I didn't realise how "childish" i was until I read this thread - some of you really should give up your day jobs and go on the stage...hilarious!!
Well after reading it i am not sure if the serious and semi serious ones are in essence funnier than the micky takers. I would be fascinated to hear what the defecating women think of his concerns! "They wouldn't give a shit!.... | |||
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"maybe I was going in too deep????
I have a feeling there's more to this story to come! "More shit or more story
We knew of a woman from another site, she was absoulutely huge and she was taking some kind of fat reduction pills, and apparantly she shit herself at a club, and into the bargain she proudly told us about it ffs
Looking again for that green pukey icon | |||
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"arrgghh yuck lol!!! im on them, orlistat you eat a certain amount of fat and it leaves the body at 100 mph!! no warning no nothing and its not shite its a bright orange oily minging stuff!!! leaves a mark round the toilet that only domestos and toilet brush can shift!! it only happens if you eat excess fat so if you eat ok on them you fine if not....well its a lot of ruined clothing and baby wipes in the freezer for your bum.....xx "ouchy I have Crohn's disease and that's bad enough without throwing orlistat down my neck lol | |||
