You get sum really rude people,here I was just minding my own business when sum stranger came up to me and asked me what I was doing, I said I'm not doing nothing why, then he said why are you pulling a piece of string, I said have you ever tried pushing a piece of string  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You get sum really rude people,here I was just minding my own business when sum stranger came up to me and asked me what I was doing, I said I'm not doing nothing why, then he said why are you pulling a piece of string, I said have you ever tried pushing a piece of string "
hahahahahaahhahaa!! love it mate.   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst.
So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back."
GREAT ONE!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I just opened my freezer and saw a little alien masturbating... Naturally I was shocked and said what the hell are you doing?! He replied "I cum in peas""
hahahahaahahaa oooooo! love it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just opened my freezer and saw a little alien masturbating... Naturally I was shocked and said what the hell are you doing?! He replied "I cum in peas""
That made me chuckle  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says, "Hello".
He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he asks, 'Do you know me?'
To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I fucked senseless on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?"
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher!" |
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A man sends a text to his neighbor:
I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you.
I can't get it at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.
The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.
A few moments later, a second text came in: Damned auto-correct. I meant "WiFi", not "wife" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Husband and wife are in bed after sex. The wife says to husband ' you make love to me like you do the decorating'
Husband replies 'slow and professional' wife replies 'no I have to finish the job off myself' |
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