FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > dull vanilla life!
dull vanilla life!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Now before I say more...I KNOW the problem is mine but I cant help it!
I occasionally frequent a vanilla dating site. Nothing wrong with that, you say? Well no, nothing wrong with that EXCEPT I find everyone I talk to on vanilla sites as soooooooo dull! God!!!!
I am starting to think that one of the reasons I feel this way is because I have been on this scene for too long?
I do feel there is something seriously wrong with me!!! Lol!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Now before I say more...I KNOW the problem is mine but I cant help it!
I occasionally frequent a vanilla dating site. Nothing wrong with that, you say? Well no, nothing wrong with that EXCEPT I find everyone I talk to on vanilla sites as soooooooo dull! God!!!!
I am starting to think that one of the reasons I feel this way is because I have been on this scene for too long?
I do feel there is something seriously wrong with me!!! Lol!!! "
I feel the same. I was quite happy on normal dating sites until I joined here. Now I fear I'll never meet someone for a normal relationship because I find everyone too boring!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Vanilla ice cream is lovely with crushed nuts and maple syrup x
I want some "
Well you live in Cornwall, it shouldn't be too hard to get your hands on some premium grade frozen creaminess. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"if all you`ve got to chat about revolves around sex which swinging basically is
ur the dull one
(runs)"
I did say I know it's me with the problem so I am not looking to apportion blame anywhere else.
However I am not saying all I have to chat about is sex! I actually have heaps of interests that are nothing to do with sex.
I am just feeling bored. My issue! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I havent met anyone off here in ages and don't chat on the forums like I used to. So it isnt as if I am addicted to sex.
But I just cant look at photos of men holding a fish any longer! The same old questions...where do you live, what do you do? Blah blah blah....I am in serious trouble I know! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Vanilla ice cream is lovely with crushed nuts and maple syrup x
I want some
Well you live in Cornwall, it shouldn't be too hard to get your hands on some premium grade frozen creaminess."
oh yum this is good!! Next time im putting it on top of a glazed doughnut  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
I do feel there is something seriously wrong with me!!! Lol!!!
Have a flake and chill the fuck out. "
If only I had thought of that! Cadburys flake is obviously the answer! Silly me! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Vanilla ice cream is lovely with crushed nuts and maple syrup x
I want some
Well you live in Cornwall, it shouldn't be too hard to get your hands on some premium grade frozen creaminess.
oh yum this is good!! Next time im putting it on top of a glazed doughnut "
Hey steady on now! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can totally relate to that as I'm on a dating site too, I've met more fun compatible people on here. Be nice to find a fellow swinger to date, at least you'd know you were sexually compatible  |
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"
But I just cant look at photos of men holding a fish any longer! The same old questions...where do you live, what do you do? Blah blah blah....I am in serious trouble I know! "
Yes, I got sick of that too - especially when I knew we were just going through the motions and all they wanted was sex! Why bother! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
But I just cant look at photos of men holding a fish any longer! The same old questions...where do you live, what do you do? Blah blah blah....I am in serious trouble I know!
Yes, I got sick of that too - especially when I knew we were just going through the motions and all they wanted was sex! Why bother!"
I agree there lol that is all they want lol
And yes they all like fishing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Straying of the subject of ice cream however, I too had some of my best meets from vanilla dating sites, and found many women who wouldn't normally consider no strings sex soon open up to the idea when given a friendly and intelligent approach. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Straying of the subject of ice cream however, I too had some of my best meets from vanilla dating sites, and found many women who wouldn't normally consider no strings sex soon open up to the idea when given a friendly and intelligent approach."
birds of a feather flock together |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Straying of the subject of ice cream however, I too had some of my best meets from vanilla dating sites, and found many women who wouldn't normally consider no strings sex soon open up to the idea when given a friendly and intelligent approach.
birds of a feather flock together "
...oh right, 'flock' lol |
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Dear OP, I trust you will not take the following personally and read it in the general terms it is intended.
I just don't get why so many people (especially single) people do a them and us type thing when referring to 'vanillas'.
Vanillas talk about sex.
Vanillas have sex.
Vanillas have no strings sex.
Vanillas have fuck buddies.
Vanillas can even have 3somes or moresomes.
Vanillas can be kinky, dirty, experimental..... and often own sex toys.
Vanillas can be fucking great in the sack and have high sex drives... just as some people who claim to be swingers are fucking useless.
Being on a swinging site does not in itself make people any different to being vanilla.
So, Dear OP........ be yourself.
|
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"Dear OP, I trust you will not take the following personally and read it in the general terms it is intended.
I just don't get why so many people (especially single) people do a them and us type thing when referring to 'vanillas'.
Vanillas talk about sex.
Vanillas have sex.
Vanillas have no strings sex.
Vanillas have fuck buddies.
Vanillas can even have 3somes or moresomes.
Vanillas can be kinky, dirty, experimental..... and often own sex toys.
Vanillas can be fucking great in the sack and have high sex drives... just as some people who claim to be swingers are fucking useless.
Being on a swinging site does not in itself make people any different to being vanilla.
So, Dear OP........ be yourself.
"
Saved me typing and put more diplomatically than I would have done. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear OP, I trust you will not take the following personally and read it in the general terms it is intended.
I just don't get why so many people (especially single) people do a them and us type thing when referring to 'vanillas'.
Vanillas talk about sex.
Vanillas have sex.
Vanillas have no strings sex.
Vanillas have fuck buddies.
Vanillas can even have 3somes or moresomes.
Vanillas can be kinky, dirty, experimental..... and often own sex toys.
Vanillas can be fucking great in the sack and have high sex drives... just as some people who claim to be swingers are fucking useless.
Being on a swinging site does not in itself make people any different to being vanilla.
So, Dear OP........ be yourself.
"
Boom! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I dont mind people critiquing me. You may think as you wish . I had already said that I realise the issue is mine and noone elses. I merely said I find it a problem.... for which I have to find a resolution. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Now before I say more...I KNOW the problem is mine but I cant help it!
I occasionally frequent a vanilla dating site. Nothing wrong with that, you say? Well no, nothing wrong with that EXCEPT I find everyone I talk to on vanilla sites as soooooooo dull! God!!!!
I am starting to think that one of the reasons I feel this way is because I have been on this scene for too long?
I do feel there is something seriously wrong with me!!! Lol!!! "
I thought a big percentage was on here too singles wise maybe people are more forthright on here or less inhibited if it is a big percentage of the same people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont mind people critiquing me. You may think as you wish . I had already said that I realise the issue is mine and noone elses. I merely said I find it a problem.... for which I have to find a resolution. "
Perhaps you should stop putting labels on people and take them for who they are. Swingers can be boring, too. They're just people, y'know. The fact that they may might opt for more kinky sex than a vanilla person doesn't make them per definition more interesting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Now before I say more...I KNOW the problem is mine but I cant help it!
I occasionally frequent a vanilla dating site. Nothing wrong with that, you say? Well no, nothing wrong with that EXCEPT I find everyone I talk to on vanilla sites as soooooooo dull! God!!!!
I am starting to think that one of the reasons I feel this way is because I have been on this scene for too long?
I do feel there is something seriously wrong with me!!! Lol!!! "
Conversation is a two way thing, if you want it to be more exciting then inject some excitement into it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I dont mind people critiquing me. You may think as you wish . I had already said that I realise the issue is mine and noone elses. I merely said I find it a problem.... for which I have to find a resolution.
Perhaps you should stop putting labels on people and take them for who they are. Swingers can be boring, too. They're just people, y'know. The fact that they may might opt for more kinky sex than a vanilla person doesn't make them per definition more interesting."
I didnt put labels on people. I only use the term vanilla to differentiate from someone I might chat to on fab. Thats all. Anyway. ..I have already said I know its me with the problem. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have hidden my profile for some time now as I dont want to meet people just for sex. However I still find chatting on the forums occasionally. ..can be interesting. Most people are nice with some exceptions and I am aware of a small minority who never have anything nice to say to me no matter what...but I have learnt to ignore those individuals. But I felt I was starting to become more sexually driven than anything else and that isnt healthy when there is lack of balance in life. Contrary to what views some may have pf me...I am normally a very chatty person and have a wide range of interests so finding people interesting isnt normally an issue for me...or it didn't used to be. Hence why I felt that maybe I am going through some stuff of my own where I am struggling to relate to people in everyday life when the subject isnt slightly naughty!!. I KNOW that isnt good hence the reason for the thread. Maybe a case of too much of a good thing....not sure....but I see that some have similar experiences which is reassuring that it isnt just me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Now before I say more...I KNOW the problem is mine but I cant help it!
I occasionally frequent a vanilla dating site. Nothing wrong with that, you say? Well no, nothing wrong with that EXCEPT I find everyone I talk to on vanilla sites as soooooooo dull! God!!!!
I am starting to think that one of the reasons I feel this way is because I have been on this scene for too long?
I do feel there is something seriously wrong with me!!! Lol!!!
Conversation is a two way thing, if you want it to be more exciting then inject some excitement into it. "
I am sorry but I think you are missing the point of my thread. Maybe I haven't explained myself very well. The point is I am struggling with something I didnt used to struggle with so telling me about the art of conversation doesnt really make any difference. Sorry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Now before I say more...I KNOW the problem is mine but I cant help it!
I occasionally frequent a vanilla dating site. Nothing wrong with that, you say? Well no, nothing wrong with that EXCEPT I find everyone I talk to on vanilla sites as soooooooo dull! God!!!!
I am starting to think that one of the reasons I feel this way is because I have been on this scene for too long?
I do feel there is something seriously wrong with me!!! Lol!!!
Conversation is a two way thing, if you want it to be more exciting then inject some excitement into it.
I am sorry but I think you are missing the point of my thread. Maybe I haven't explained myself very well. The point is I am struggling with something I didnt used to struggle with so telling me about the art of conversation doesnt really make any difference. Sorry. "
Is it that you didn't used to find people dull on normal dating sites? Perhaps you need to get to know them a bit better so the chat can flow better and start having a bit of banter once you feel each other out a bit?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe you're holding back a little because it's a vanilla sight & they're doing likewise - maybe everyone's bored, secretly or otherwise.
Yeah, it's one hell of a contrast - Fab & vanilla; maybe you could liven it up a bit with a couple of cadbury flakes.........is that a 69 or 99? If the latter, just use one!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I do feel there is something seriously wrong with me!!! Lol!!!
Have a flake and chill the fuck out.
A 96er? Ermmmm I mean a 99er
Oops"
great minds & all that - lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Nevermind. I haven't managed to explain the problem I am having very well so people dont understand what I am trying to say. Probably all part of the same problem. I have heard how some people struggle to have a 'normal' relationship after been on the swinging scene for a long time as a single person. I am struggling with all that. Thats it. I am just trying to reclaim some balance as I believe it started to take over my life a bit for a while.....so I struggle to relate to people who I cant have an open conversation about sex with. ... or at least those I have tried to ..have run away. Its MY problem I know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nevermind. I haven't managed to explain the problem I am having very well so people dont understand what I am trying to say. Probably all part of the same problem. I have heard how some people struggle to have a 'normal' relationship after been on the swinging scene for a long time as a single person. I am struggling with all that. Thats it. I am just trying to reclaim some balance as I believe it started to take over my life a bit for a while.....so I struggle to relate to people who I cant have an open conversation about sex with. ... or at least those I have tried to ..have run away. Its MY problem I know. "
It is your problem as you say but talking does help, I think I understand what you're saying but I'm struggling to get over what I'm trying to say!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nevermind. I haven't managed to explain the problem I am having very well so people dont understand what I am trying to say. Probably all part of the same problem. I have heard how some people struggle to have a 'normal' relationship after been on the swinging scene for a long time as a single person. I am struggling with all that. Thats it. I am just trying to reclaim some balance as I believe it started to take over my life a bit for a while.....so I struggle to relate to people who I cant have an open conversation about sex with. ... or at least those I have tried to ..have run away. Its MY problem I know. "
Maybe taking a break from fabs may help but then again if you enjoy the lifestyle why not try and find someone that you have a common interests with and who you can relate too. Someone mentioned a fabs speed dating thing this would be so cool for a social idea purely for fabs singlets though x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Now before I say more...I KNOW the problem is mine but I cant help it!
I occasionally frequent a vanilla dating site. Nothing wrong with that, you say? Well no, nothing wrong with that EXCEPT I find everyone I talk to on vanilla sites as soooooooo dull! God!!!!
I am starting to think that one of the reasons I feel this way is because I have been on this scene for too long?
I do feel there is something seriously wrong with me!!! Lol!!!
Conversation is a two way thing, if you want it to be more exciting then inject some excitement into it.
I am sorry but I think you are missing the point of my thread. Maybe I haven't explained myself very well. The point is I am struggling with something I didnt used to struggle with so telling me about the art of conversation doesnt really make any difference. Sorry.
Is it that you didn't used to find people dull on normal dating sites? Perhaps you need to get to know them a bit better so the chat can flow better and start having a bit of banter once you feel each other out a bit??"
I think its probably a combination of many things ...chatting to people I find I have little in common with ...compared with my forthright nature lol... E g. I dont understand why people are on a dating site if they dont know if they want to date! Maybe its harsh of me so many dont know what they want so they mess people around. I think the swinging lifestyle does tend to encourage people to be open about saying what they want so that characteristic is something that has rubbed off on me over time so I say what I want generally. Not aggressively. I mean ..if I just want to date, I say that. But if I want a relationship ultimately then I say that! But many say they want one thing but mean the other. I am used to more direct honesty. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Nevermind. I haven't managed to explain the problem I am having very well so people dont understand what I am trying to say. Probably all part of the same problem. I have heard how some people struggle to have a 'normal' relationship after been on the swinging scene for a long time as a single person. I am struggling with all that. Thats it. I am just trying to reclaim some balance as I believe it started to take over my life a bit for a while.....so I struggle to relate to people who I cant have an open conversation about sex with. ... or at least those I have tried to ..have run away. Its MY problem I know.
Maybe taking a break from fabs may help but then again if you enjoy the lifestyle why not try and find someone that you have a common interests with and who you can relate too. Someone mentioned a fabs speed dating thing this would be so cool for a social idea purely for fabs singlets though x"
I tried that. Disaster! Lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nevermind. I haven't managed to explain the problem I am having very well so people dont understand what I am trying to say. Probably all part of the same problem. I have heard how some people struggle to have a 'normal' relationship after been on the swinging scene for a long time as a single person. I am struggling with all that. Thats it. I am just trying to reclaim some balance as I believe it started to take over my life a bit for a while.....so I struggle to relate to people who I cant have an open conversation about sex with. ... or at least those I have tried to ..have run away. Its MY problem I know. "
I think everyone can relate to where you're coming from - you're comparing chalk with cheese.
Have you tried taking a break from Fab to gather your thoughts?
I've never been on a vanilla site but if I did after Fab, I'm sure I'd feel exactly the same way as you!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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its simple if the people to chat to on the normal dating site run away when you are you then they aint for you. The problem isnt you its everyone else Its like most things you just have to keep looking until you find the right person Remember if someones going to like you its got to be the real you x |
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