FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Should a woman pay on a first date?
Should a woman pay on a first date?
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Im have been on many meets and always make a point of paying my way. This has been met in many ways. Some men happy to let me, some want to take it in turns and others out and out refuse or find in rude or insulting that I would ask.
Im confused.... |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I offer and I take it in turns and I have come to accept the gift when it is sincerely offered.
I try and I establish what the other party is comfortable with and don't make a big deal of it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you should always offer, im happy to pay my share but if a guy refuses to take my money im not going to spoil a meet by arguing over a few quid, so if he insists on paying after i have offered I'll let him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always try to pay my half, and sometimes for both meals if there was a lot of mileage involved to get where we are. Fair is fair.
It hardly ever works, mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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50/50 for meeting socially between couples or a couple and single man I think is fair. As for singles to meet, it's nice for the man to pay, but for me as a woman, even though I like a gentleman to pay, I would still be polite and offer to pay, and leave it up to him to accept or refuse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A friend at work went on a vanilla date she met on a popular site and he said he couldn't bring his wallet as his dad had taken it out by mistake thinking it was his so she had to buy the drinks all evening and to make things worse, he was about 5 stone heavier than his pic suggested!! Oh the pitfalls of dating lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm having this debate with another fabster, going there next weekend and having takeaway Friday and then out Saturday... I want to pay my way and he is thinking about it x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good old etiquette again. On a first date it's polite for a woman to offer to pay half, and equally polite for the man to refuse and pay the whole bill. The woman should send him a thank you card, and if there's a second date, go halves. |
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I make it clear when arranging where to go etc that I will at least pay my share.
I feel really rude about the fact that I am expected to freeload just because I have a vagina. It just isn't my style, the meal/coffee whatever was for my benefit too, it's not like I have gone out of my way to do the male a favour, I will get pleasure of it too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The lady should never pay.
In any circumstance / situation
in the swinging world, I wouldn't utter that too loudly....
your mailbox will burst"
Oh lordy, I didn't realise we'd taken a trip back to the 1940's.
If I meet someone I pay my share, only right to me, simples  |
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"The lady should never pay.
In any circumstance / situation
in the swinging world, I wouldn't utter that too loudly....
your mailbox will burst
Oh lordy, I didn't realise we'd taken a trip back to the 1940's.
If I meet someone I pay my share, only right to me, simples "
For sure, old fashioned. But surely sometimes its nice for things to be done right?
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"The lady should never pay.
In any circumstance / situation
in the swinging world, I wouldn't utter that too loudly....
your mailbox will burst
Oh lordy, I didn't realise we'd taken a trip back to the 1940's.
If I meet someone I pay my share, only right to me, simples
For sure, old fashioned. But surely sometimes its nice for things to be done right?
"
please take this in the spirit it is meant and being the first guy to speak to you at the bar that Saturday, I fully appreciate your entry into swinging.
I held a very similar _iew to you 7/8 years ago....
there is much fun to be had, fantastic people but there is a small element who use swinging for all the wrong reasons.  |
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A date should be negotiable but in my _iew will set the tone for the rest of your relationships so I would opt for 50/50. A swinging meet should be 50/50 or the nsa part of it is compromised for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when i met someone who bought me a meal i would pay for the drinks. my husband has always payed for the drinks and the meal though, one of the reasons i was attracted to him because he was generous. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"A date should be negotiable but in my _iew will set the tone for the rest of your relationships so I would opt for 50/50. A swinging meet should be 50/50 or the nsa part of it is compromised for me."
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"The lady should never pay.
In any circumstance / situation
in the swinging world, I wouldn't utter that too loudly....
your mailbox will burst
Oh lordy, I didn't realise we'd taken a trip back to the 1940's.
If I meet someone I pay my share, only right to me, simples
For sure, old fashioned. But surely sometimes its nice for things to be done right?
please take this in the spirit it is meant and being the first guy to speak to you at the bar that Saturday, I fully appreciate your entry into swinging.
I held a very similar _iew to you 7/8 years ago....
there is much fun to be had, fantastic people but there is a small element who use swinging for all the wrong reasons. "
Kind wise words... thank you
Much appreciated
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Would always offer to go halfs but I'm a little old fashioned and like to be treated like a lady aswell as act like one ( well when I'm out in public anyway )
Miss giggles xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I pay my way, don't ever assume men will do so. This is swinging not dating for romance (although I'm married to the first man I met through a sex site!) and as such I agree it up-front.
I think just have a chat and do what you are both comfortable with.
Don't see why out-dated social norms have to apply to swinging personally. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A date should be negotiable but in my _iew will set the tone for the rest of your relationships so I would opt for 50/50. A swinging meet should be 50/50 or the nsa part of it is compromised for me."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would always offer to go halfs but I'm a little old fashioned and like to be treated like a lady aswell as act like one ( well when I'm out in public anyway )
Miss giggles xx
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you should both 'go dutch' "
Think I would assume I was footing the bill as a single guy, but would not be offended if the other party wanted to contribute. Slightly off topic but anyone know why we use the term going Dutch? |
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a useful thread as i'm out tomorrow on a meet with someone i've seen before but we're out to dinner. I'll make sure I've ways of payment but be gracious and not my normally gobby self and except a treat if offered. ty xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im have been on many meets and always make a point of paying my way. This has been met in many ways. Some men happy to let me, some want to take it in turns and others out and out refuse or find in rude or insulting that I would ask.
Im confused...."
Iv never let a women pay on a first date and i allways let the women pic where where she wants to meet and where she feels relaxed after all so many wierdos on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We had a social meet recently and of course we were fully prepared to pay our portion, but when asked how to split the check the gentleman said one check would be fine. We said we'd pay, he said don't worry about it, so we said thank you and paid the tip.
I think the thing that was more different to me is that this was only a social meet to see if we'd all click.
It clearly depends on the person(s) involved. I at least like to offer! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always 50/50 ... Whether with a guy or a girl .
No one has eluded to the possible way a meet could be perceived if one party paid .
Take for example a meet if you arrange to initially have a drink or two .... That's £15 . Then perhaps a club , go as a couple £30 ..... Two more drinks £15 .... So £60 in all and no meal .
No reason not to go halves , as there is no pressure to play as one party has paid for everything .
And if the recipient of the free night plays, simply because they got it all for free ... Thats no different to prostitution is it ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never been for a meal but if I did I would offer to pay, usually only go for drinks, if we have more than one I will always get the second one, its a social not a date for me..... But I don't pay for hotels ... If he wants to meet me in a private place its down to him to arrange that place... Or I don't meet him!!! His choice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I take a packed lunch and give them one of my sarnies.
You fibber on our first I brought sarnies lmao!!!!!
Oh yea jam haha
I thought you had Angel Delight sarnies with Julie.
"
The angel delight was pudding
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i think the man should pay, but i wouldnt mind paying if he was really nice and didnt have much money.
he would have to be something special.  "
Oh, well, - would you like fries & shake with that?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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See I was taught this by my dad never let a man pay for you unless you feel happy he wont make you pay it back his way. I never accept drinks from guys and pay half always. Oreo has learnt its easier not to argue with this  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I take a packed lunch and give them one of my sarnies.
You fibber on our first I brought sarnies lmao!!!!!
Oh yea jam haha"
Reminds me you must owe me one lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A friend at work went on a vanilla date she met on a popular site and he said he couldn't bring his wallet as his dad had taken it out by mistake thinking it was his so she had to buy the drinks all evening and to make things worse, he was about 5 stone heavier than his pic suggested!! Oh the pitfalls of dating lol"
Are you sure that it wasn't actually his dad? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im have been on many meets and always make a point of paying my way. This has been met in many ways. Some men happy to let me, some want to take it in turns and others out and out refuse or find in rude or insulting that I would ask.
Im confused...."
Meets or dates? They are different aren't they? Either way I prefer to pay my own way I don't like to be beholden to anyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i Pay half all the time,meets are not vanilla dating,last night i payed half hotel,my meal and took turns buying drinks,i always chat to the meet about going halfs all the time so it all sorted,wouldnt expect a meet to pay it all, i am always skint by my pride
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I expect the man to pay but I did pay one occasion where I completely messed a meet up so was my way of apologising. Never had a disagreement with anyone over who pays |
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