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Getting rid of arrogance?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it. Especially when they use it to make people feel small. Every time I do it though. I get accused of snobbery or get slated and even get told ate last they are doing things, etc. Yet their arrogance continues. It makes my blood boil. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"?*?????????"
If someone is arrogant towards you and makes you feel small and does this to several people. How do you out them in their place. Saying you are all the same? |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it. Especially when they use it to make people feel small. Every time I do it though. I get accused of snobbery or get slated and even get told ate last they are doing things, etc. Yet their arrogance continues. It makes my blood boil. "
why would you let people get to you, silence is the most perfect expression of scorn...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There is a fine line between arrogance and confidence."
And I know that line. Maybe impossible to believe, but I was a confident person many years ago. I was never arrogant though as I knew I had weaknesses or someone was better than me at something. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"is this people you know or in cyber space? You really can't change people and you're very arrogant to think some one else's personalities need to be changed and that perhaps you could change it! Z"
People I know. Making people feel small including myself. In my eyes is a form of bullying and it needs to be stopped. Especially wen there's no need to be arrogant as the things they do aren't as big as they make it. So I'm arrogant for wanting to get rid of arrogance and bullying in others?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Over confidence and or nerves can come across as arrogance too, we are not here to judge or be judged. Accept people the way they are if you feel you can't do this then simply move on.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Over confidence and or nerves can come across as arrogance too, we are not here to judge or be judged. Accept people the way they are if you feel you can't do this then simply move on. "
Wasn't on about people on here. More of people I see everyday. Also can't get away from them. |
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"is this people you know or in cyber space? You really can't change people and you're very arrogant to think some one else's personalities need to be changed and that perhaps you could change it! Z
People I know. Making people feel small including myself. In my eyes is a form of bullying and it needs to be stopped. Especially wen there's no need to be arrogant as the things they do aren't as big as they make it. So I'm arrogant for wanting to get rid of arrogance and bullying in others? "
Bullying is an awful thing and i can't stand it in any way but some one being arrogant in itself surely can't be classed as bullying - perhaps distance yourself from these people who you percieve to be arrogant? Z |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it...
Could it be seen as arrogance on your part for you to think you could?"
 |
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"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it...
Could it be seen as arrogance on your part for you to think you could? "
I said the same - you really can't take it on yourself to alter another persons character- (real or percieved) Z |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it...
Could it be seen as arrogance on your part for you to think you could?"
Could I do it on my own, probably not. Could it be done if everyone joined forced. My opinion, yes it could be changed.
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"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it...
Could it be seen as arrogance on your part for you to think you could?
Could I do it on my own, probably not. Could it be done if everyone joined forced. My opinion, yes it could be changed.
"
Ahhhh you want to form a gang.... yeah mob mentality might work. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it...
Could it be seen as arrogance on your part for you to think you could?
Could I do it on my own, probably not. Could it be done if everyone joined forced. My opinion, yes it could be changed.
Ahhhh you want to form a gang.... yeah mob mentality might work."
A lot of people feel what I feel and are starting to feel fed up of feeling small by someone who should have that big an ego as at the end of the day. They have what we do. So by making someone open their eyes. Is that really a bad thing? |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it...
Could it be seen as arrogance on your part for you to think you could?
Could I do it on my own, probably not. Could it be done if everyone joined forced. My opinion, yes it could be changed.
"
So you want to gang up and bully the person you're talking about? 
If you don't like them, stay away from them. |
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"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it...
Could it be seen as arrogance on your part for you to think you could?
Could I do it on my own, probably not. Could it be done if everyone joined forced. My opinion, yes it could be changed.
Ahhhh you want to form a gang.... yeah mob mentality might work."
WOW - easiest solution = take no notice of these people and mix with people you get on with - Z |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it...
Could it be seen as arrogance on your part for you to think you could?
Could I do it on my own, probably not. Could it be done if everyone joined forced. My opinion, yes it could be changed.
Ahhhh you want to form a gang.... yeah mob mentality might work.
A lot of people feel what I feel and are starting to feel fed up of feeling small by someone who should have that big an ego as at the end of the day. They have what we do. So by making someone open their eyes. Is that really a bad thing? "
You cannot change someone else and do not have the right to try.
Yes, it's a bad thing.
And your pressure might make things worse. |
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"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it...
Could it be seen as arrogance on your part for you to think you could?
Could I do it on my own, probably not. Could it be done if everyone joined forced. My opinion, yes it could be changed.
Ahhhh you want to form a gang.... yeah mob mentality might work.
A lot of people feel what I feel and are starting to feel fed up of feeling small by someone who should have that big an ego as at the end of the day. They have what we do. So by making someone open their eyes. Is that really a bad thing? "
It depends what you do after you get their eye open... does it involve a pointy stick? |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
Ever think that their "arrogance" and making you feel small is them trying to "improve" you?
And you want to do the same thing?
What's the quote? Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. Work on your self-esteem and their opinion won't matter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it. Especially when they use it to make people feel small. Every time I do it though. I get accused of snobbery or get slated and even get told ate last they are doing things, etc. Yet their arrogance continues. It makes my blood boil. "
I feel your frustration, he has been told, but Mr Salmond just seems to have his own agenda and will not listen to reason from anyone, don't dispair, it'll work itself out…  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it...
Could it be seen as arrogance on your part for you to think you could?
Could I do it on my own, probably not. Could it be done if everyone joined forced. My opinion, yes it could be changed.
Ahhhh you want to form a gang.... yeah mob mentality might work.
A lot of people feel what I feel and are starting to feel fed up of feeling small by someone who should have that big an ego as at the end of the day. They have what we do. So by making someone open their eyes. Is that really a bad thing? "
If you all feel the same why not 'gang up' on the person by not letting them get to you? Or at least don't show it. just ignore them and they will move onto annoying someone else. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it...
Could it be seen as arrogance on your part for you to think you could?
Could I do it on my own, probably not. Could it be done if everyone joined forced. My opinion, yes it could be changed.
Ahhhh you want to form a gang.... yeah mob mentality might work.
A lot of people feel what I feel and are starting to feel fed up of feeling small by someone who should have that big an ego as at the end of the day. They have what we do. So by making someone open their eyes. Is that really a bad thing?
If you all feel the same why not 'gang up' on the person by not letting them get to you? Or at least don't show it. just ignore them and they will move onto annoying someone else."
We never show it. Just feel it |
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"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it...
Could it be seen as arrogance on your part for you to think you could?
Could I do it on my own, probably not. Could it be done if everyone joined forced. My opinion, yes it could be changed.
Ahhhh you want to form a gang.... yeah mob mentality might work.
A lot of people feel what I feel and are starting to feel fed up of feeling small by someone who should have that big an ego as at the end of the day. They have what we do. So by making someone open their eyes. Is that really a bad thing?
If you all feel the same why not 'gang up' on the person by not letting them get to you? Or at least don't show it. just ignore them and they will move onto annoying someone else.
We never show it. Just feel it "
if you never show it how do you know lots of people feel the same way? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some arrogant people have more effect because they can get away with it. Managers and people who have enough friends in their "gang" who suck up to them for instance. I would say don't rise or react to them. Let them think you don't care and they are wasting their time. I would smile and walk away or nod if I was forced to stay in their company. Nothing is forever, one day you won't have to be in their company  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it...
Could it be seen as arrogance on your part for you to think you could?
Could I do it on my own, probably not. Could it be done if everyone joined forced. My opinion, yes it could be changed.
Ahhhh you want to form a gang.... yeah mob mentality might work.
A lot of people feel what I feel and are starting to feel fed up of feeling small by someone who should have that big an ego as at the end of the day. They have what we do. So by making someone open their eyes. Is that really a bad thing?
If you all feel the same why not 'gang up' on the person by not letting them get to you? Or at least don't show it. just ignore them and they will move onto annoying someone else.
We never show it. Just feel it
if you never show it how do you know lots of people feel the same way?"
A few of us have said it in passing conversation, but then change the subject. No one has actually gone up and said to them and said any of this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Get rid of arrogance? That would be 17.4% of my personality destroyed  "
a person can be arrogant without being nasty and vindictive I like a little bit of arrogance in a man. I find it sexually arousing |
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"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it. Especially when they use it to make people feel small. Every time I do it though. I get accused of snobbery or get slated and even get told ate last they are doing things, etc. Yet their arrogance continues. It makes my blood boil. "
You should not judge people, but you can challenge their behaviour if it is having an adverse effect on you and others, of course you have a right to speak up. The key is working out how to do that 'straight', without effectively being 'as bad as they are' or returning tit for tat.
That requires some skill, diplomacy, and maturity, but it is possible. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it. Especially when they use it to make people feel small. Every time I do it though. I get accused of snobbery or get slated and even get told ate last they are doing things, etc. Yet their arrogance continues. It makes my blood boil.
You should not judge people, but you can challenge their behaviour if it is having an adverse effect on you and others, of course you have a right to speak up. The key is working out how to do that 'straight', without effectively being 'as bad as they are' or returning tit for tat.
That requires some skill, diplomacy, and maturity, but it is possible."
Judging? There is no excuse to belittle someone. Even more so when they don't have the tools to do it.
You are right in saying solving it requires skill, maturity, etc. How would you tackle it? |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it. Especially when they use it to make people feel small. Every time I do it though. I get accused of snobbery or get slated and even get told ate last they are doing things, etc. Yet their arrogance continues. It makes my blood boil.
You should not judge people, but you can challenge their behaviour if it is having an adverse effect on you and others, of course you have a right to speak up. The key is working out how to do that 'straight', without effectively being 'as bad as they are' or returning tit for tat.
That requires some skill, diplomacy, and maturity, but it is possible."
I agree with this. Broaching the subject of their behaviour is different to "getting rid of arrogance". |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it. Especially when they use it to make people feel small. Every time I do it though. I get accused of snobbery or get slated and even get told ate last they are doing things, etc. Yet their arrogance continues. It makes my blood boil.
You should not judge people, but you can challenge their behaviour if it is having an adverse effect on you and others, of course you have a right to speak up. The key is working out how to do that 'straight', without effectively being 'as bad as they are' or returning tit for tat.
That requires some skill, diplomacy, and maturity, but it is possible.
Judging? There is no excuse to belittle someone. Even more so when they don't have the tools to do it.
You are right in saying solving it requires skill, maturity, etc. How would you tackle it? "
Like I said, maybe they think they are encouraging you to improve, to change yourself, like you are suggesting they need to.
Where's the difference? |
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"Get rid of arrogance? That would be 17.4% of my personality destroyed
Can I bounce ping pong balls off your assogance ?
You asking if it's possible or you making a request? "
I beg your pardon Sir Buttocks. I should have said...... MAY I bounce ping pong balls of your assogance? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it. Especially when they use it to make people feel small. Every time I do it though. I get accused of snobbery or get slated and even get told ate last they are doing things, etc. Yet their arrogance continues. It makes my blood boil.
You should not judge people, but you can challenge their behaviour if it is having an adverse effect on you and others, of course you have a right to speak up. The key is working out how to do that 'straight', without effectively being 'as bad as they are' or returning tit for tat.
That requires some skill, diplomacy, and maturity, but it is possible.
Judging? There is no excuse to belittle someone. Even more so when they don't have the tools to do it.
You are right in saying solving it requires skill, maturity, etc. How would you tackle it?
Like I said, maybe they think they are encouraging you to improve, to change yourself, like you are suggesting they need to.
Where's the difference?"
I can safely say it isn't. They've changed as a person. Just because they have more "responsibility". |
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Judging? There is no excuse to belittle someone. Even more so when they don't have the tools to do it.
You are right in saying solving it requires skill, maturity, etc. How would you tackle it? "
You'd have to get yourself into the right frame of mind first - no anger, no agenda, no personal hate etc, etc. Then you would have to say something totally straight that just reflected their behaviour back to them. For instance, if I was there when they made a disparaging remark to a fellow employee I might look them straight in the eye and say something simple like 'John, that kind of comment is neither kind nor helpful.'
Let them draw their own conclusions about what that says about their own character. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Like I said, maybe they think they are encouraging you to improve, to change yourself, like you are suggesting they need to.
Where's the difference?
I can safely say it isn't. They've changed as a person. Just because they have more "responsibility". "
You can't know their motivation unless they've told you and you've already said none of you has broached the subject with them.
I'd ask them out for a beer as a group and chat to them about it in a neutral, relaxed setting. Non-confrontational and calm. Tell them how you are perceiving them and how that makes you feel. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Judging? There is no excuse to belittle someone. Even more so when they don't have the tools to do it.
You are right in saying solving it requires skill, maturity, etc. How would you tackle it?
You'd have to get yourself into the right frame of mind first - no anger, no agenda, no personal hate etc, etc. Then you would have to say something totally straight that just reflected their behaviour back to them. For instance, if I was there when they made a disparaging remark to a fellow employee I might look them straight in the eye and say something simple like 'John, that kind of comment is neither kind nor helpful.'
Let them draw their own conclusions about what that says about their own character."
Sounds like a good idea |
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"Get rid of arrogance? That would be 17.4% of my personality destroyed
Can I bounce ping pong balls off your assogance ?
You asking if it's possible or you making a request?
I beg your pardon Sir Buttocks. I should have said...... MAY I bounce ping pong balls of your assogance?"
Yes |
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"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it. Especially when they use it to make people feel small. Every time I do it though. I get accused of snobbery or get slated and even get told ate last they are doing things, etc. Yet their arrogance continues. It makes my blood boil.
You should not judge people, but you can challenge their behaviour if it is having an adverse effect on you and others, of course you have a right to speak up. The key is working out how to do that 'straight', without effectively being 'as bad as they are' or returning tit for tat.
That requires some skill, diplomacy, and maturity, but it is possible."
I disagree.... sort of.
I disagree because anyone starting form a 'boiling blood' _iew point is standing in the wrong place to deal with it objectively. They have adopted the habit of looking for and seeing this person in a particular way... they have decided that is what this person is.
Until he is able to stop focusing on what he perceives as arrogance and look at this person from alternative perspectives, he is assigning all the blame on the other person and not being accountable for his own choices. The skill is not the conversation, it's the ability to accept and alter how you look at and judge the other person. Thus, the chances are it will go tits up - as he says it has already.
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"
You'd have to get yourself into the right frame of mind first - no anger, no agenda, no personal hate etc, etc. Then you would have to say something totally straight that just reflected their behaviour back to them. For instance, if I was there when they made a disparaging remark to a fellow employee I might look them straight in the eye and say something simple like 'John, that kind of comment is neither kind nor helpful.'
Let them draw their own conclusions about what that says about their own character."
You would need to be very sure though, it could make them worse. Especially if their name was Clive  |
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I disagree.... sort of.
I disagree because anyone starting form a 'boiling blood' _iew point is standing in the wrong place to deal with it objectively.
"
Oh I agree completely - which is why I said it would require 'skill, diplomacy and maturity' that he would have to 'stop judging' and 'get yourself into the right frame of mind first - no anger, no agenda, no personal hate etc, etc.'
Either he has the capacity to do that or not, I can't tell from here, but he strikes me as quite intelligent and thoughtful, so maybe he can work it all out.
'Making my blood boil' comes from a place of helplessness, if he can see a viable way forward, maybe he can diffuse that within himself. |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it. Especially when they use it to make people feel small. Every time I do it though. I get accused of snobbery or get slated and even get told ate last they are doing things, etc. Yet their arrogance continues. It makes my blood boil. "
It smacks of arrogance that you decide for yourself who is arrogant and take it as your mission to change their 'erroneous' behaviour. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Either he has the capacity to do that or not, I can't tell from here, but he strikes me as quite intelligent and thoughtful, so maybe he can work it all out.
"
A compliment that I never thought I'd ever hear . |
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I disagree.... sort of.
I disagree because anyone starting form a 'boiling blood' _iew point is standing in the wrong place to deal with it objectively.
Oh I agree completely - which is why I said it would require 'skill, diplomacy and maturity' that he would have to 'stop judging' and 'get yourself into the right frame of mind first - no anger, no agenda, no personal hate etc, etc.'
Either he has the capacity to do that or not, I can't tell from here, but he strikes me as quite intelligent and thoughtful, so maybe he can work it all out.
'Making my blood boil' comes from a place of helplessness, if he can see a viable way forward, maybe he can diffuse that within himself."
As he says others have come in to defend the so called arrogant one, it would seem not all look at this person the same way he does. He has chosen to see this other person as arrogant and seems not to want to listen to those who don't. The mind-set has hold.
Sometimes in these situations, even when the behaviour changes, the mind-set doesn't let go... which is why it needs to be the first thing to change.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I disagree.... sort of.
I disagree because anyone starting form a 'boiling blood' _iew point is standing in the wrong place to deal with it objectively.
Oh I agree completely - which is why I said it would require 'skill, diplomacy and maturity' that he would have to 'stop judging' and 'get yourself into the right frame of mind first - no anger, no agenda, no personal hate etc, etc.'
Either he has the capacity to do that or not, I can't tell from here, but he strikes me as quite intelligent and thoughtful, so maybe he can work it all out.
'Making my blood boil' comes from a place of helplessness, if he can see a viable way forward, maybe he can diffuse that within himself.
As he says others have come in to defend the so called arrogant one, it would seem not all look at this person the same way he does. "
That's not the case at all. I said others agree with me, but I'm the one who is getting the most annoyed by it and the one who actually has the guys to say something. But like it's been said it requires skill and maturity when saying it. |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"
I disagree.... sort of.
I disagree because anyone starting form a 'boiling blood' _iew point is standing in the wrong place to deal with it objectively.
Oh I agree completely - which is why I said it would require 'skill, diplomacy and maturity' that he would have to 'stop judging' and 'get yourself into the right frame of mind first - no anger, no agenda, no personal hate etc, etc.'
Either he has the capacity to do that or not, I can't tell from here, but he strikes me as quite intelligent and thoughtful, so maybe he can work it all out.
'Making my blood boil' comes from a place of helplessness, if he can see a viable way forward, maybe he can diffuse that within himself.
As he says others have come in to defend the so called arrogant one, it would seem not all look at this person the same way he does.
That's not the case at all. I said others agree with me, but I'm the one who is getting the most annoyed by it and the one who actually has the guys to say something. But like it's been said it requires skill and maturity when saying it. "
Would you say you have the maturity? |
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"
I disagree.... sort of.
I disagree because anyone starting form a 'boiling blood' _iew point is standing in the wrong place to deal with it objectively.
Oh I agree completely - which is why I said it would require 'skill, diplomacy and maturity' that he would have to 'stop judging' and 'get yourself into the right frame of mind first - no anger, no agenda, no personal hate etc, etc.'
Either he has the capacity to do that or not, I can't tell from here, but he strikes me as quite intelligent and thoughtful, so maybe he can work it all out.
'Making my blood boil' comes from a place of helplessness, if he can see a viable way forward, maybe he can diffuse that within himself.
As he says others have come in to defend the so called arrogant one, it would seem not all look at this person the same way he does.
That's not the case at all. I said others agree with me, but I'm the one who is getting the most annoyed by it and the one who actually has the guys to say something. But like it's been said it requires skill and maturity when saying it. "
Crazed dear god fella everyone is free to have an opinion...you need to take things on board and not get on the defensive with things... |
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"
Sometimes in these situations, even when the behaviour changes, the mind-set doesn't let go... which is why it needs to be the first thing to change.
"
Exactly. And only the OP is in a position to work out where he is now and how he can get to a place where he can speak out in a 'clean' way.
There's some interesting work being done using horses to 'reflect back' to people what they themselves are projecting. Horses are able to read what's going on deep inside you - not only your expression, but the intent that gave rise to the action, and the attitude that gave rise to the intent.
You have to get YOUR insides right to be able to present things right and get the right response from the horse - this is the same deal. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
I disagree.... sort of.
I disagree because anyone starting form a 'boiling blood' _iew point is standing in the wrong place to deal with it objectively.
Oh I agree completely - which is why I said it would require 'skill, diplomacy and maturity' that he would have to 'stop judging' and 'get yourself into the right frame of mind first - no anger, no agenda, no personal hate etc, etc.'
Either he has the capacity to do that or not, I can't tell from here, but he strikes me as quite intelligent and thoughtful, so maybe he can work it all out.
'Making my blood boil' comes from a place of helplessness, if he can see a viable way forward, maybe he can diffuse that within himself.
As he says others have come in to defend the so called arrogant one, it would seem not all look at this person the same way he does.
That's not the case at all. I said others agree with me, but I'm the one who is getting the most annoyed by it and the one who actually has the guys to say something. But like it's been said it requires skill and maturity when saying it.
Would you say you have the maturity?"
Yes and no. I can act on impulse and even though I still stand by what I say/do at the time. When I see the consequences. I wish I did things differently, but we all have limits right? I also can go into things like this with a cool head and say/do whatever is best for everyone.
I have been told by a lot of people since I was 16. I have a lot of maturity for my age and could be considered as a full grown adult, but at times when "lashing" out. I am not mature as I over react to things. So it's not for me to decide really. It's for others to, but what I can say is I can be serious or play around when I need to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
I said others agree with me, but I'm the one who is getting the most annoyed by it ...
When you work out why that is.... you'll be in a better place to deal with it."
I already do. It's because there self esteem is higher than mine. So if necessary they could fight fire with fire and probably come out on top. I can't and if I tried. I'd probably lose. They get days where they feel as bad as me too, but I am the one who has the guts to say something if needed whereas they don't. |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"
I said others agree with me, but I'm the one who is getting the most annoyed by it ...
When you work out why that is.... you'll be in a better place to deal with it.
I already do. It's because there self esteem is higher than mine. So if necessary they could fight fire with fire and probably come out on top. I can't and if I tried. I'd probably lose. They get days where they feel as bad as me too, but I am the one who has the guts to say something if needed whereas they don't. "
To me, that suggests it is you with the issue. Nothing to so with the guy with the perceived arrogance. |
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"
I said others agree with me, but I'm the one who is getting the most annoyed by it ...
When you work out why that is.... you'll be in a better place to deal with it.
I already do. It's because there self esteem is higher than mine. So if necessary they could fight fire with fire and probably come out on top. I can't and if I tried. I'd probably lose. They get days where they feel as bad as me too, but I am the one who has the guts to say something if needed whereas they don't. "
And this is why you are fucked...... it's all battle talk, winning and losing.
You talk about it with others because you want them to agree, you want them to look at it the same way you do.
Have you considered the impact you have on those you talk to? Do you want them to feel as bad as you do?
Getting annoyed doesn't take guts.... taking accountability does.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
I said others agree with me, but I'm the one who is getting the most annoyed by it ...
When you work out why that is.... you'll be in a better place to deal with it.
I already do. It's because there self esteem is higher than mine. So if necessary they could fight fire with fire and probably come out on top. I can't and if I tried. I'd probably lose. They get days where they feel as bad as me too, but I am the one who has the guts to say something if needed whereas they don't.
To me, that suggests it is you with the issue. Nothing to so with the guy with the perceived arrogance. "
Even though everyone else agrees with me |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Does your workplace have any policies regarding expecations of staff , relationships or grievance procedures ?
"
being a spokeperson of a group, or being allowed to be the spokeman by others who are either gutless, have an ulterior motive allowing you to speak on their behalf more often than not be unwise.
|
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"
I said others agree with me, but I'm the one who is getting the most annoyed by it ...
When you work out why that is.... you'll be in a better place to deal with it.
I already do. It's because there self esteem is higher than mine. So if necessary they could fight fire with fire and probably come out on top. I can't and if I tried. I'd probably lose. They get days where they feel as bad as me too, but I am the one who has the guts to say something if needed whereas they don't.
To me, that suggests it is you with the issue. Nothing to so with the guy with the perceived arrogance.
Even though everyone else agrees with me "
Maybe they are just being nice to stop you going on about it...maybe they don't agree. Not everyone will agree with you or the situation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it. Especially when they use it to make people feel small. Every time I do it though. I get accused of snobbery or get slated and even get told ate last they are doing things, etc. Yet their arrogance continues. It makes my blood boil. "
No some people are just stuck in there ways |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"
I said others agree with me, but I'm the one who is getting the most annoyed by it ...
When you work out why that is.... you'll be in a better place to deal with it.
I already do. It's because there self esteem is higher than mine. So if necessary they could fight fire with fire and probably come out on top. I can't and if I tried. I'd probably lose. They get days where they feel as bad as me too, but I am the one who has the guts to say something if needed whereas they don't.
To me, that suggests it is you with the issue. Nothing to so with the guy with the perceived arrogance.
Even though everyone else agrees with me "
Do they, or are they humouring you. You've said it doesn't bother them so much.
I still think it's your self esteem that needs changing.
That would have positive effects throughout your life. |
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"
I have been told by a lot of people since I was 16. I have a lot of maturity for my age and could be considered as a full grown adult, but at times when "lashing" out. I am not mature as I over react to things. "
I learned a lot about this when studying horse whispering to help a particularly troubled and explosive horse. He was so hyper reactive I had to learn to still myself inside, become a totally steady place for him. Even when I stopped 'doing' anything, he was still exploding sometimes - until I realised he was reacting to a sharp intake of breath on my part!! I could see an imminent explosion, I was bracing myself, and just that tiny thing was enough to cause the very reaction I was trying to avoid.
In the end I learned to live the instruction 'no raised pulses', I learned how to control my own insides well so I could be there for the horse when he got troubled.
That kind of understanding leading to control is often a process of maturity, I was very volatile when I was younger. But you can accelerate it by becoming self-aware and studying the subject.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
I said others agree with me, but I'm the one who is getting the most annoyed by it ...
When you work out why that is.... you'll be in a better place to deal with it.
I already do. It's because there self esteem is higher than mine. So if necessary they could fight fire with fire and probably come out on top. I can't and if I tried. I'd probably lose. They get days where they feel as bad as me too, but I am the one who has the guts to say something if needed whereas they don't.
To me, that suggests it is you with the issue. Nothing to so with the guy with the perceived arrogance.
Even though everyone else agrees with me
Maybe they are just being nice to stop you going on about it...maybe they don't agree. Not everyone will agree with you or the situation "
I thought once, maybe it was me. But others actually came up to me and told me about their behaviour without me even bringing it up. |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"
I said others agree with me, but I'm the one who is getting the most annoyed by it ...
When you work out why that is.... you'll be in a better place to deal with it.
I already do. It's because there self esteem is higher than mine. So if necessary they could fight fire with fire and probably come out on top. I can't and if I tried. I'd probably lose. They get days where they feel as bad as me too, but I am the one who has the guts to say something if needed whereas they don't.
To me, that suggests it is you with the issue. Nothing to so with the guy with the perceived arrogance.
Even though everyone else agrees with me "
They may agree with you, but they don't let it bother them. You say it is you who is annoyed. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
I said others agree with me, but I'm the one who is getting the most annoyed by it ...
When you work out why that is.... you'll be in a better place to deal with it.
I already do. It's because there self esteem is higher than mine. So if necessary they could fight fire with fire and probably come out on top. I can't and if I tried. I'd probably lose. They get days where they feel as bad as me too, but I am the one who has the guts to say something if needed whereas they don't.
To me, that suggests it is you with the issue. Nothing to so with the guy with the perceived arrogance.
Even though everyone else agrees with me
Do they, or are they humouring you. You've said it doesn't bother them so much.
I still think it's your self esteem that needs changing.
That would have positive effects throughout your life."
They can't be as they have had days where they have felt the same as they tell me about it. Even when I am having a good day.
You are right on that though and I am working on it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it. Especially when they use it to make people feel small. Every time I do it though. I get accused of snobbery or get slated and even get told ate last they are doing things, etc. Yet their arrogance continues. It makes my blood boil.
why would you let people get to you, silence is the most perfect expression of scorn...
"
totally agree ...  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Is it possible to get rid of arrogance in other people? I have tried as I hate people who have it. Especially when they use it to make people feel small. Every time I do it though. I get accused of snobbery or get slated and even get told ate last they are doing things, etc. Yet their arrogance continues. It makes my blood boil.
why would you let people get to you, silence is the most perfect expression of scorn...
totally agree ... "
Have to cure one thing before that happens |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Arrogance:
having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities.
Confidence:
the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.
Self Esteem:
confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect.
OP, you say you know the fine line when it crosses to arrogance because you once had confidence. What we hate in others is sometimes a reflection of what we want to fix about ourselves. The most annoying people I know are the ones like me. Perception and reality are not the same for everyone.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You seem to have a lot of negative issues concerning other people.
No one can make you feel inferior only you can do that.
You seem to be the common denominator in all this negativity
"
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"You seem to have a lot of negative issues concerning other people.
No one can make you feel inferior only you can do that.
You seem to be the common denominator in all this negativity
"
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Arrogance:
having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities.
Confidence:
the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.
Self Esteem:
confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect.
OP, you say you know the fine line when it crosses to arrogance because you once had confidence. What we hate in others is sometimes a reflection of what we want to fix about ourselves. The most annoying people I know are the ones like me. Perception and reality are not the same for everyone.
"
Thank you for those definitions. Now I know this person is arrogant. Using your own definitions now and not only the statements I have heard. |
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"Arrogance:
having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities.
Confidence:
the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.
Self Esteem:
confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect.
OP, you say you know the fine line when it crosses to arrogance because you once had confidence. What we hate in others is sometimes a reflection of what we want to fix about ourselves. The most annoying people I know are the ones like me. Perception and reality are not the same for everyone.
Thank you for those definitions. Now I know this person is arrogant. Using your own definitions now and not only the statements I have heard. "
So what if he's arrogant? Z |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Arrogance:
having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities.
Confidence:
the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.
Self Esteem:
confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect.
OP, you say you know the fine line when it crosses to arrogance because you once had confidence. What we hate in others is sometimes a reflection of what we want to fix about ourselves. The most annoying people I know are the ones like me. Perception and reality are not the same for everyone.
Thank you for those definitions. Now I know this person is arrogant. Using your own definitions now and not only the statements I have heard.
So what if he's arrogant? Z"
Using it to belittle people and making them feel small is wrong. Especially when there's no need for it. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Arrogance:
having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities.
Confidence:
the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.
Self Esteem:
confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect.
OP, you say you know the fine line when it crosses to arrogance because you once had confidence. What we hate in others is sometimes a reflection of what we want to fix about ourselves. The most annoying people I know are the ones like me. Perception and reality are not the same for everyone.
Thank you for those definitions. Now I know this person is arrogant. Using your own definitions now and not only the statements I have heard.
So what if he's arrogant? Z
Using it to belittle people and making them feel small is wrong. Especially when there's no need for it. "
There's lots wrong in the world Crazed. Some of it you just need to rise above. This isn't Fairyland, unfortunately.
There's a saying though, be careful whom you shit on on the way up because you may meet them on the way back down. |
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"Arrogance:
having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities.
Confidence:
the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.
Self Esteem:
confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect.
OP, you say you know the fine line when it crosses to arrogance because you once had confidence. What we hate in others is sometimes a reflection of what we want to fix about ourselves. The most annoying people I know are the ones like me. Perception and reality are not the same for everyone.
Thank you for those definitions. Now I know this person is arrogant. Using your own definitions now and not only the statements I have heard.
So what if he's arrogant? Z
Using it to belittle people and making them feel small is wrong. Especially when there's no need for it. "
I agree but we've been going round in circles all afternoon with this! It may be your negativity which is distorting your preception of the situation. Stay clear of the person is advice that a lot of people have offered. Z |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Arrogance:
having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities.
Confidence:
the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.
Self Esteem:
confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect.
OP, you say you know the fine line when it crosses to arrogance because you once had confidence. What we hate in others is sometimes a reflection of what we want to fix about ourselves. The most annoying people I know are the ones like me. Perception and reality are not the same for everyone.
Thank you for those definitions. Now I know this person is arrogant. Using your own definitions now and not only the statements I have heard.
So what if he's arrogant? Z
Using it to belittle people and making them feel small is wrong. Especially when there's no need for it.
There's a saying though, be careful whom you shit on on the way up because you may meet them on the way back down."
That's Alan Sugars saying. Only a bit cruder and I kind of follow it.
|
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Arrogance:
having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities.
Confidence:
the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.
Self Esteem:
confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect.
OP, you say you know the fine line when it crosses to arrogance because you once had confidence. What we hate in others is sometimes a reflection of what we want to fix about ourselves. The most annoying people I know are the ones like me. Perception and reality are not the same for everyone.
Thank you for those definitions. Now I know this person is arrogant. Using your own definitions now and not only the statements I have heard.
So what if he's arrogant? Z
Using it to belittle people and making them feel small is wrong. Especially when there's no need for it.
There's a saying though, be careful whom you shit on on the way up because you may meet them on the way back down.
That's Alan Sugars saying. Only a bit cruder and I kind of follow it.
"
I don't think he was the first to coin it. It's often a good saying to heed. |
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